| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | How we doin’? | 你好吗 |
| [00:04] | It’s the most stressful day of the year | 今天是全年压力最大的日子 |
| [00:06] | for Claire — | 是对克莱尔来说 |
| [00:08] | our anniversary. | 今天是结婚周年纪念日 |
| [00:09] | She tends to leave her gift shopping till the last minute, | 她总是到最后关头才去选礼物 |
| [00:12] | and the pressure can really get to her. | 弄得自己压力很大 |
| [00:14] | I’m great. | 我很好啊 |
| [00:19] | – Oh, did you forget it’s our — ?- No. | -你是不是忘了今天是… -我没忘 |
| [00:20] | Happy Anniversary. | 周年纪念日快乐 |
| [00:23] | You’re strangely calm. | 你平静得很离奇 |
| [00:24] | Is this the legendary realm beyond madness. | 这是传说中疯到极点后的返疯归真之域吗 |
| [00:27] | I already got your gift. | 你的礼物我已经买好了 |
| [00:28] | And I nailed it. | 我选得特别成功 |
| [00:30] | I even stayed below the $100 limit. | 而且没有超过一百块钱的预算限制 |
| [00:32] | You? | 你呢 |
| [00:33] | Oh, you’ll be quite pleased. | 你会很满意的 |
| [00:34] | …once I find something. | 等我找到礼物后 |
| [00:36] | This time I left my shopping till the last minute, | 这次我等到最后一刻才去买礼物 |
| [00:38] | maybe just to give Claire a chance at our competition. | 可能是为了给克莱尔一个竞争的希望 |
| [00:41] | Am I too competitive? | 我太好胜了吗 |
| [00:42] | I mean, she does often say, | 她确实常说 |
| [00:45] | “Phil, do you always have to finish first?” | “菲尔 你每次都要先到终点[高潮]吗” |
| [00:48] | Joe, I’m coming for you. | 乔 我来抓你啦 |
| [00:51] | Hey, have you guys seen Joe? | 你们见到乔了吗 |
| [00:54] | Aw, man! | 大兄弟 |
| [00:55] | You found me so easy. | 你这么轻易就找到我了 |
| [00:57] | But that was for fun. | 但好玩就好啦 |
| [00:59] | Hide and seek? | 躲猫猫 |
| [01:00] | What am I, 4? | 当我4岁小屁孩吗 |
| [01:02] | I’m here because Luke has the new zombie video game | 我来是因为卢克有最新的丧尸电子游戏 |
| [01:05] | that my mom would never let me play. | 我妈绝不会让我玩 |
| [01:07] | So…what else? | 还有什么 |
| [01:09] | What else? | 还有什么能玩呢 |
| [01:10] | Hey, didn’t you get a new video game? | 对了 你不是买了新的游戏吗 |
| [01:12] | Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap! | 糟了 糟了 糟了 糟了 |
| [01:13] | – Did you see her yesterday? – No, why? | -你昨天看到她了吗 -没有 怎么了 |
| [01:15] | That’s what she says when she realizes | 她发现自己睡过了一整天 |
| [01:16] | she just slept through an entire day. | 就会这样骂 |
| [01:18] | So, my boss went away for the weekend, | 我老板周末外出了 |
| [01:19] | and I realized I left my phone at her house. | 我发现我把手机落在她家了 |
| [01:21] | There’s a doggy door, | 有一扇狗狗门可以进去 |
| [01:22] | but then I would have to find a dog, | 但那样我就得先找只狗 |
| [01:23] | somehow learn how to train it | 想办法训练它进屋里去 |
| [01:24] | to go inside, and then find it. | 再找到我的手机 |
| [01:26] | – And I don’t know where to get a — – Honey… | -我不知道上哪儿去找… -亲爱的 |
| [01:28] | Oh my God, duh. | 天啊 我这都没想到 |
| [01:30] | Joe, you have a dog. | 乔 你不就有只狗吗 |
| [01:33] | Come on. | 走吧 |
| [01:51] | Now see, this is when entertainment was classy. | 看到没 那时娱乐行业还是有格调的 |
| [01:54] | Max Feldman wore a tux, | 老艺人身穿礼服 |
| [01:55] | the audience smoked cigars. | 观众抽着雪茄 |
| [01:57] | And his act is as fresh today as it was in the ’70s. | 他的表演放到今天看 仍然跟七零年代时一样好笑 |
| [02:00] | What are you, an Eskimo? | 怎么 你是爱斯基摩人吗 |
| [02:01] | You got 50 words for “snow,” | 你懂50种雪的不同称呼 |
| [02:03] | but apparently none for “toothbrush.” | 但却不懂”牙刷”怎么叫 |
| [02:07] | I don’t understand why you guys like that man. | 我不懂你们为什么喜欢这男的 |
| [02:10] | He’s a bully. | 他就是个欺负人的恶霸 |
| [02:11] | See, this is why | 这就是为什么 |
| [02:11] | we’re not bringing you to his show tonight. | 我们今晚才不带你去看他的表演 |
| [02:13] | You don’t get the jokes, | 你听不懂笑话的哏 |
| [02:14] | you ask questions the whole time… | 总是问个不停 |
| [02:16] | It ruins the experience. | 那会毁了观看感受 |
| [02:17] | I understand funny jokes. | 我听得懂好笑的笑话 |
| [02:19] | This is not funny. This is mean. | 这不是好笑 是恶毒 |
| [02:21] | He just told that guy | 他刚刚对那男的说 |
| [02:22] | that he looked like a beef jerky wearing a tuxedo. | 他看起来像穿着晚礼服的牛肉干 |
| [02:25] | And that guy was Ronald Reagan and he loved it! | 那个男的是罗纳德·里根 他爱死这笑话了 |
| [02:27] | I hope Feldman zetzes me tonight. | 我希望费尔德曼今晚也吐槽我 |
| [02:29] | – Is that why you’re wearing that shirt? – Huh? No. | -所以你才穿上这件丑爆的衣服吗 -不是 |
| [02:31] | Anyways, I’m gonna go and run some errands. | 我要出门去办些事 |
| [02:33] | If Jorge arrives before I’m back, | 如果豪尔赫在我回来之前就到了 |
| [02:35] | please don’t bore him with this stuff. | 拜托你们不要用这些玩意烦他 |
| [02:37] | Jorge was this steamy Latin musician | 豪尔赫是个骚气美型的拉丁音乐人 |
| [02:40] | your mother used to date. | 你妈跟他交往过 |
| [02:41] | Apparently she feels she has to invite him here, | 显然她觉得必须邀请他来家里 |
| [02:43] | instead of just thinking about him | 而不是边翻看高中年刊 |
| [02:44] | while she pages through a high-school yearbook | 配着第三杯威士忌 |
| [02:46] | on her third Scotch | 边想着他 |
| [02:48] | like a normal person. | 像个正常人一样 |
| [02:49] | Jay, don’t be jealous. | 杰 别吃醋 |
| [02:50] | It was 20 years ago, | 那都是20年前的事了 |
| [02:52] | and I only dated him for six months. | 再说我们只交往了6个月而已 |
| [02:54] | And we never had what you and I have. | 我们的感情远不如我跟你之间的深刻 |
| [02:56] | Well, that’s nice to hear. | 这话听了还挺开心 |
| [02:57] | It was only physical. | 我只是沉迷他的肉体而已 |
| [03:00] | Manny… | 曼尼 |
| [03:02] | you’re gonna learn something today. | 你今天要学点新知识 |
| [03:04] | I try to learn something every day. | 我每天都尽量学习新知识 |
| [03:06] | It keeps me young, | 那让我保持青春活力 |
| [03:07] | or nuori, as they say in Finnish. | 用芬兰语说就是”牛哦狸” |
| [03:09] | Assuming you stop saying stuff like that, | 假设你能不再说这种瞎话 |
| [03:11] | one day you will be married, | 终有一天你会娶到老婆 |
| [03:12] | and eventually the ex will show up | 然后前任就会出现 |
| [03:14] | sniffing around, | 东闻西闻想抢你老婆 |
| [03:15] | puffing out his pretty-boy chest, | 挺起他小鲜肉的胸膛 |
| [03:17] | which is your cue to go alpha. | 那时你就要拿出你的兽王气概 |
| [03:19] | Don’t you think Mom will get annoyed | 妈妈看到你对她老朋友不礼貌 |
| [03:21] | when she sees you being rude to an old friend? | 你觉得她不会生气吗 |
| [03:22] | Not at all. | 完全不会 |
| [03:23] | Deep down, she wants to see me vanquish | 内心深处 她想看到我 |
| [03:25] | all who came before. | 完虐其他追求者 |
| [03:27] | It’s basic animal stuff. | 这是最基本的动物界原理 |
| [03:28] | Oh, I get it. | 我懂 |
| [03:29] | My girlfriend Karen was pretty frisky the other night | 前几天晚上 我女友凯伦的前男友出现后 |
| [03:31] | after her ex showed up, and I bested him | 我跟他来了一场巧克力梳芙厘烘烤大对决 |
| [03:33] | in a chocolate-souffle bake-off. | 在我打败她后 她心情也很好 |
| [03:35] | I don’t need to tell you | 我不说你也能猜到 |
| [03:36] | my souffle wasn’t the only sweet brown dish | 她那晚”吃掉”的巧克力色甜点 |
| [03:39] | she devoured that night. | 不止我的梳芙厘 |
| [03:40] | Because…? | 因为… |
| [03:41] | I also made molasses cookies. | 我还做了黑糖曲奇 |
| [03:43] | I’ve learned to ask the second question. | 所以我才学会了要问第二个问题 |
| [03:46] | I don’t even remember what the fight was about. | 我都不记得为什么事打架了 |
| [03:48] | Then why does your teacher want to have a chat with us? | 那你的老师为什么想跟我们谈谈 |
| [03:50] | Maybe she has trouble meeting people. | 可能她交不到朋友吧 |
| [03:53] | Oh, that is a — that’s bold. | 那是… 好大胆 |
| [03:55] | – It’s too young, isn’t it? – ?No! | -太年轻了 是不是 -不会 |
| [03:57] | Oh god, these things have lie detectors now. | 妈呀 这些玩意现在还能测谎了 |
| [03:59] | Sir, please give me your bag. | 先生 请给我看看你的袋子 |
| [04:00] | Oh…we– well, the cashier probably | 估计是收银员 |
| [04:02] | just forgot to take a security tag off of the — | 忘记取下防盗牌了 |
| [04:05] | Where did that come from? | 这是从哪儿来的 |
| [04:07] | Possible 488. | 疑似出现488情况 |
| [04:08] | No. I wouldn’t steal a bra! | 不是啦 我怎么会偷胸罩 |
| [04:10] | I don’t wear bras! | 我又不穿胸罩 |
| [04:12] | Oh. Well, maybe once. | 可能就穿过一次 |
| [04:13] | Our friend Pepper had a “Turning 50 is a Drag” party. | 我们的朋友胡娇办过”五十岁好累[变装]派对” |
| [04:15] | Yeah, he’s had five of those. | 他办过五次五十岁生日派对了 |
| [04:17] | – So… – Sir, please come with me. | -你懂的 -先生 请随我来 |
| [04:18] | No… No, no, no, no, no. | 不 不不不 |
| [04:19] | Mitchell, call a lawyer! | 米奇尔 打电话叫律师 |
| [04:21] | I’m a lawyer. | 我就是律师 |
| [04:21] | Yeah, but you’ve lost more suits | 可你输过的官司[丢掉的西装] |
| [04:22] | than a Men’s Wearhouse in a tornado. | 比遭遇龙卷风的西装大卖场还多 |
| [04:24] | April Fool’s! | 愚人节快乐 |
| [04:25] | They thought you were a shoplifter! Burn! | 他们以为你是商店扒手 傻了吧 |
| [04:29] | A fight at school, and now a shoplifting prank? | 在学校和人打架 现在又搞偷窃恶作剧 |
| [04:32] | If you wanted to rebel, | 如果你这是叛逆期 |
| [04:33] | why don’t you just put a pink streak in your hair? | 为什么不能染一缕粉头发 |
| [04:35] | I told you, I don’t want one. | 我说过了我不想染 |
| [04:36] | But you would look so cute. | 可你会看起来很可爱的 |
| [04:37] | Okay, well, whatever this phase is, | 好吧 无论你这是什么阶段 |
| [04:39] | – I’m not a fan. – ?I blame us. | -我可不喜欢 -这都怪我们 |
| [04:40] | – We’ve been far too permissive. – ?Agreed. | -我们太纵容她了 -同意 |
| [04:42] | You are grounded for one month, Missy! | 你被禁足一个月 小姑娘 |
| [04:45] | We got the Cirque du Soleil tickets. | 太阳马戏团的票已经买了 |
| [04:46] | – Except for Cirque du Soleil! – And the Disneyland trip. | -除了去看太阳马戏团 -和迪斯尼乐园之旅 |
| [04:47] | And for Disneyland! | 和迪斯尼乐园之旅 |
| [04:48] | But you are not going to Christina’s slumber party tonight | 但今晚不准你去克里斯蒂娜的睡衣派对 |
| [04:51] | – no matter how much — – We have reservations at Cactus. | -无论… -我们今晚订了仙人掌酒店了 |
| [04:52] | Okay, Christina’s slumber party | 好吧 克里斯蒂娜的睡衣派对之后 |
| [04:53] | is the last one for a while. | 近期都不准出去玩 |
| [04:55] | Right. That’s right. | 没错 没错 |
| [05:02] | Scented candles. | 香薰蜡烛 |
| [05:05] | The simpleton’s choice. | 愚人的选择 |
| [05:07] | The perfect gift has three elements — | 完美的礼物要有三个元素 |
| [05:09] | not something you’d buy for yourself, | 不能是你会买给自己的东西 |
| [05:11] | takes you on an emotional journey, | 能勾起人的情感回忆 |
| [05:12] | that journey is on a ship — | 并且勾得很有技巧 |
| [05:15] | A showmanship. | 表演技巧 |
| [05:17] | I mean, finding a gift that has all three is challenging, | 想找到具备三元素的礼物很难 |
| [05:20] | but here’s the thing. Bad ideas aren’t your enemy. | 但重点是 坏点子不是你的敌人 |
| [05:22] | In fact, sometimes if you free-associate | 事实上 有时如果你根据坏点子 |
| [05:24] | from the bad ideas, you discover great ones. | 展开自由联想 就能发现好点子 |
| [05:28] | Let’s try it. | 我们试试看 |
| [05:29] | Sir, would you like a bonsai tree? | 先生 您到底想不想买盆栽 |
| [05:31] | Novelty key chain. | 新奇钥匙链 |
| [05:32] | First thing that popped into the noodle. | 跳进脑海的第一个点子 |
| [05:33] | It’s terrible. | 糟透了 |
| [05:34] | Let’s see what that key unlocks. | 我们看看能解锁什么好主意 |
| [05:36] | Novelty key chain. | 新奇钥匙链 |
| [05:37] | Novelty lock. | 新奇的锁 |
| [05:39] | Loch Ness Monster. | 尼斯湖水怪 |
| [05:40] | Monster bike. | 越野摩托车 |
| [05:41] | Bike lock. Padlock. | 车锁 挂锁 |
| [05:42] | Mouse pad. Novelty mouse pad! | 鼠标垫 新奇鼠标垫 |
| [05:44] | Novelty key chain! | 新奇钥匙链 |
| [05:45] | What…just…happened? | 什 么 鬼 |
| [05:48] | It was like my muse just disappeared. | 就像我的灵感女神消失了一般 |
| [05:50] | And she wasn’t coming back. | 她一去不回了 |
| [05:52] | Soap?! She’s not your grandma, Phil! | 香皂 她又不是你外婆 菲尔 |
| [05:54] | If I don’t care that it mops, dusts, | 如果我都不在乎它能拖地 拂尘 |
| [05:56] | squeegees, and lights up, | 有刮水板 有照明 |
| [05:58] | would I care that Stacey Keach says | 我为什么会在乎斯泰西·基齐[演员]说 |
| [05:59] | it’s the last cleaning tool you’ll ever need? | 有了它别的清洁工具都不能入眼 |
| [06:04] | Box of chocolates. | 一盒巧克力 |
| [06:06] | Count Chocula. | 巧克拉伯爵[一种麦片] |
| [06:07] | Chaka Khan, conman, Isle of Man. | 夏卡·康[歌星] 骗子 曼岛 |
| [06:11] | “I Love Lucy,” Lucy Liu. | 《我爱露西》 刘玉玲 |
| [06:13] | Lululemon, lemon peel. | 露露柠檬[服装品牌] 柠檬皮 |
| [06:15] | “Key & Peele,” Key chain! | 《基和皮尔》 钥匙链 |
| [06:16] | Novelty key chain?! | 新奇钥匙链 |
| [06:18] | No!! | 不 |
| [06:19] | No! | 不 |
| [06:24] | – Laundry, right? – Oh, it never ends. | -洗衣服很烦吧 -洗不完的衣服 |
| [06:26] | I heard that. | 说得没错 |
| [06:28] | – Happy Anniversary, by the way. ?- Thank you. | -对了 结婚纪念日快乐 -谢谢 |
| [06:31] | Did you get anything special for Phil? | 你给菲尔买什么特别的礼物了吗 |
| [06:32] | Kid’s smooth like butter. | 这孩子演得太溜了 |
| [06:34] | Just like I coached him. | 就像我教他的一样 |
| [06:35] | I am very excited about the present I got for Phil. | 我给菲尔准备的礼物让我特别激动 |
| [06:38] | Come on over here. Come on closer. | 到这来 走近点 |
| [06:39] | But you have to promise that you are not gonna tell anybody. | 但你必须保证 你不会告诉任何人 |
| [06:42] | Talk to papa. | 快让我听听 |
| [06:43] | I don’t want anybody else to hear what it is. | 我不想让其他任何人听到是什么 |
| [06:46] | It’s a really good secret. | 这是个特别棒的秘密 |
| [06:48] | And the present is… | 礼物就是 |
| [06:51] | Why would you do that?! | 你为什么要这么做 |
| [06:52] | My ears are still developing! | 我的耳朵还在发育阶段呢 |
| [06:55] | Nice try, Phil. | 想得美 菲尔 |
| [06:58] | That’s so funny! | 真好笑 |
| [06:58] | Oh. Hey, honey. How are you? | 亲爱的 你好吗 |
| [07:00] | I’m so sorry. I have to take this. | 不好意思 我得接个电话 |
| [07:01] | Oh, boy. | 老天 |
| [07:03] | Hello, Robert… | 你好 罗伯特 |
| [07:05] | Not too much. How are you? | 还好 你呢 |
| [07:06] | There are a lot of ways you can establish status | 有很多方法可以在豪尔赫这样的男人面前 |
| [07:09] | over another man, like Jorge. | 树立你的权威 |
| [07:11] | A firm handshake… | 有力的握手 |
| [07:13] | displays of wealth… | 展示财富 |
| [07:15] | and feats of strength. | 展示力量 |
| [07:19] | Interesting. | 真有趣 |
| [07:20] | Moving that rug was the hardest thing | 我需要练习踢踏舞时 |
| [07:21] | in the world for you when I needed to practice tap dancing. | 让你搬这块地毯就难于登天 |
| [07:24] | There are also more subtle moves, | 还有许多细微的招数 |
| [07:26] | what I call micro-aggressions. | 我称之为微型攻击 |
| [07:29] | Call him by the wrong name. | 叫错他的名字 |
| [07:31] | Throws him off the moment he meets you. | 让他一见面就处于下风 |
| [07:34] | You must be Huevos! | 你肯定是韦沃斯 |
| [07:35] | Jay! Pleasure. | 杰 幸会 |
| [07:37] | Jorge de la Selva. | 豪尔赫·德拉塞尔瓦 |
| [07:38] | In English, it’s George of the Jungle, | 用英语说就是《森林泰山》的意思了 |
| [07:40] | so I stick with Spanish. | 所以我一直只用西语发音 |
| [07:41] | Hey, who’s got the great taste? | 是谁品味这么好 |
| [07:43] | That would be me! | 是我 |
| [07:44] | Nice! | 有品 |
| [07:45] | Uh, hello… | 你好 |
| [07:46] | So, you and Gloria… you used to, uh… | 你和歌洛莉亚…过去… |
| [07:51] | Yep. | 是的 |
| [07:55] | Hey, so he was a little more handsome than you were expecting, | 他的英俊程度是超出了你的预期 |
| [07:57] | but pull yourself together, man. | 但打起精神来 伙计 |
| [08:00] | Now, fights are very common at Lily’s age. | 在莉莉这个年纪打架是很常见的 |
| [08:03] | I mean, so many parents ask me, | 有许多家长问我 |
| [08:04] | “What happened to my sweet little kid,” | “我家可爱的宝贝哪去了” |
| [08:06] | and I say, “That’s puberty.” | 我会说”这就是青春期” |
| [08:08] | Puberty. Well, Lily’s a little young for that, so… | 青春期 莉莉还没到那个年纪吧 |
| [08:10] | I’m sorry. I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [08:11] | What is this? The inner ear? | 这是什么 内耳结构吗 |
| [08:13] | That is the female reproductive system. | 那是女性生殖系统 |
| [08:16] | Cam. | 小卡 |
| [08:17] | I dropped the, uh — | 我弄掉了… |
| [08:18] | I want to say egg chute, | 我想叫它卵道 |
| [08:20] | but I know it’s probably something more Latin-y. | 但我知道它的学名应该会更拉丁语风一点 |
| [08:22] | It can be a challenge | 孩子进入青春期时 |
| [08:23] | when a child enters into adolescence, | 可能是个挑战 |
| [08:25] | so I was thinking — | 所以我想着 |
| [08:26] | does Lily have any aunts | 莉莉的生活中 |
| [08:28] | or any other female figures in her life? | 有没有姑妈或者其他女性长辈出现 |
| [08:31] | Yes, why? | 有 怎么了 |
| [08:32] | Well, she might want to talk to a woman | 她也许会想跟一个女人聊聊 |
| [08:33] | about what she’s going through. | 她在经历的事 |
| [08:34] | Okay. I see. | 我懂了 |
| [08:35] | So meaning, as a gay couple, | 意思是作为同性恋恋人 |
| [08:37] | we’re not up to the task | 我们无法胜任 |
| [08:38] | of raising a daughter on our own. | 靠自己抚养女儿的任务 |
| [08:39] | – No… -? Okay. | -不是 -好吧 |
| [08:40] | Mitchell, I’m stuck. | 米奇尔 我卡住了 |
| [08:41] | I’m just saying that Lily may be self-conscious | 我只是说莉莉也许会难为情 |
| [08:44] | talking to men — even her dads — | 跟男人 就算是她爸爸们 |
| [08:46] | about certain female body issues. | 聊一些特定的女性身体问题 |
| [08:50] | Did she tell you what the fight was about? | 她跟你说了为什么打架吗 |
| [08:52] | Yes. Obviously. | 当然说了 |
| [08:53] | Yes, we are a very open family. | 是啊 我们是个开明的家庭 |
| [08:55] | It’s not like we wouldn’t just not follow up. | 我们不会不跟进的 |
| [08:58] | And what did she tell you? | 她跟你们说了什么 |
| [08:59] | Uh, that… | 就是… |
| [09:00] | – A… ?- Boy…? | -一个 -男孩 |
| [09:01] | – No. ?- Girl. | -不是 -女孩 |
| [09:02] | A girl tried to snap Lily’s — | 一个女孩想扯莉莉的 |
| [09:04] | – Finger! ?- Bra. | -手指 -内衣 |
| [09:05] | – But Lily doesn’t have a bra. ?- Exactly. | -但莉莉没穿内衣 -正是 |
| [09:07] | And now she’s getting teased, | 现在她被嘲笑了 |
| [09:08] | because unlike the other girls, | 因为跟其他女孩不一样 |
| [09:10] | she doesn’t have a — | 她没有… |
| [09:11] | Oh, just say it. A mom. | 直说吧 妈妈 |
| [09:13] | A bra. | 内衣 |
| [09:14] | Oh. ?Okay, so… | 好吧 |
| [09:15] | Oh, that wasn’t a joke | 她把内衣塞进你包里 |
| [09:16] | when she stuffed that bra in your bag. | 并不是开玩笑 |
| [09:18] | She wants one. | 她想要一件 |
| [09:19] | She’s just — | 她只是 |
| [09:19] | she was too embarrassed to ask for it. | 她只是不好意思要 |
| [09:21] | Oh, boy. | 天啊 |
| [09:23] | You don’t think this is gon– gonna come up | 你觉得这事在睡衣派对上 |
| [09:25] | at the slumber party, do you? | 不会被提起吧 |
| [09:26] | Not Christina S’s slumber party? | 不会是克里斯蒂娜·S的睡衣派对吧 |
| [09:28] | – Yes. ?- Oh, God. | -是啊 -天啊 |
| [09:29] | She single handedly sent our lunch lady back to rehab. | 她的毒舌把我们的午餐大妈送回了疗养中心 |
| [09:33] | I would strongly consider bringing Lily — | 我会强烈推荐给莉莉带… |
| [09:35] | Thank you, we got it. | 谢谢 我们知道了 |
| [09:37] | Obviously you were gonna say | 你显然打算说 |
| [09:38] | we should bring Lily… home? | 我们该带…莉莉回家 |
| [09:41] | Actually, I was going to say | 其实我是想说 |
| [09:43] | bring Lily a training…bra. | 给莉莉买件少女内衣 |
| [09:44] | – Training bra! – A train set! Bra. | -少女内衣 -一套火车[少女]] 内衣 |
| [09:46] | See? We all said training bra at the same time. | 瞧 我们都同时说了少女内衣 |
| [09:51] | Oh, wow. This crema is incredible. | 这咖啡泡太棒了 |
| [09:53] | The secret is Amore beans from Guatemala. | 秘诀是危地马拉的阿莫尔咖啡豆 |
| [09:56] | Low-acid, shade-grown, | 低酸 阴地生长 |
| [09:57] | individually massaged by an order of hill nuns. | 每颗咖啡豆被一群山区修女给按摩过 |
| [10:00] | Oh, I’m very familiar with the Amore bean. | 我很熟悉阿莫尔咖啡豆 |
| [10:03] | I get why you have trouble | 我能很理解你为什么没法 |
| [10:04] | vanquishing this guy. | 打败这个人 |
| [10:05] | – He’s perfect. – So, Jorge, um, | -他太完美了 -豪尔赫 |
| [10:07] | you were Gloria’s boyfriend right before Javier? | 你是歌洛莉亚在哈维尔之前的男友 |
| [10:10] | Yeah, and a little during, you know? | 是的 还有一小段时间重叠了 |
| [10:12] | She kinda bounced around between the two of us. | 她在我俩之间徘徊不定 |
| [10:14] | Um, where is she anyway? | 她到底在哪儿呢 |
| [10:16] | I got to be at a Dodger game in an hour. | 我一小时后就要去道奇队比赛了 |
| [10:18] | Oh, you like sports? | 你喜欢运动啊 |
| [10:19] | That’s fantastic! | 太棒了 |
| [10:20] | I tried to get this one into baseball. | 我试着让他喜欢棒球 |
| [10:22] | No go. | 没成功 |
| [10:23] | Actually, I hate baseball. | 实际上我讨厌棒球 |
| [10:25] | I’m here to sing the national anthem. | 我是去唱国歌的 |
| [10:27] | I’m an opera singer. | 我是歌剧演唱家 |
| [10:28] | I just finished two months at La Scala. | 我刚在斯卡拉大剧院唱了两个月 |
| [10:30] | The house that Toscanini built?! | 托斯卡尼尼建造的剧院吗 |
| [10:32] | Yeah, well, it’s been rebuilt a few times. | 那里被重建过几次啦 |
| [10:34] | You know, a bunch of opera singers prancing around. | 一群歌剧演唱家走来走去的 |
| [10:36] | It, uh, takes its toll on the foundation. | 给地基带来的负担也不小 |
| [10:38] | – Yeah. – Hey. | -好吧 -嘿 |
| [10:39] | I’m here to pick up Mom’s old boombox from storage? | 我是来拿仓库里妈妈的音箱喇叭的 |
| [10:41] | She needs it for… | 她需要… |
| [10:44] | How many Mannys do you see through these things? | 你戴着这副眼镜能看见几个曼尼 |
| [10:46] | That’s Gloria’s ex-boyfriend. | 那是歌洛莉亚的前男友 |
| [10:48] | Wait, how far ex? | 等等 多久前的 |
| [10:50] | Roughly 20 years. | 大概20年前 |
| [10:52] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [10:53] | Is — Is it possible? What does Gloria say? | 这有可能吗 歌洛莉亚怎么说 |
| [10:55] | She hasn’t even seen him yet. | 她还没看见他 |
| [10:56] | The odd bit is, | 奇怪的是 |
| [10:57] | these two clones don’t see the resemblance. | 这俩一模一样的人还没看出彼此容貌相似 |
| [10:59] | Maybe she won’t either? I’m not gonna force it on her. | 也许她也看不出 我也不会逼她这么想的 |
| [11:02] | I mean, it’s no easy thing to say | 这事情可不容易说 |
| [11:03] | “Is there a chance you’re so dumb | “你是不是有可能蠢到 |
| [11:04] | you don’t even know who the father of your baby is?” | 不知道你孩子的爸爸是谁” |
| [11:06] | We could do a DNA test. | 我们可以进行基因检测 |
| [11:08] | I could do one at the lab at school. | 我可以在学校实验室里做 |
| [11:09] | And then you would have a definitive answer. | 这样你就有确定的答案了 |
| [11:11] | If it comes back negative, | 如果是阴性的 |
| [11:12] | mm, you don’t even really have to tell Gloria. | 你就没必要告诉歌洛莉亚了 |
| [11:14] | Well, what do you need, saliva? | 你需要什么 唾液吗 |
| [11:16] | We take these two down to the Sizzler, | 我们带他俩去吃自助餐 |
| [11:17] | and you squeegee what you need off the salad-bar window? | 你从沙拉吧的窗上搜集他俩滴下来的口水 |
| [11:19] | They use hairs now! | 现在都用头发了 |
| [11:24] | “But we hanged Wichita Willy yesterday,” said the sheriff. | “但我们昨天绞死了威奇托·威利”警长说 |
| [11:27] | “Could he be back for revenge?” | “会是他回来报仇吗” |
| [11:29] | That’s when they looked up | 这时候他们抬起了头 |
| [11:31] | and there was Wichita Willy, | 看见了威奇托·威利 |
| [11:33] | the noose still dangling from his neck. | 绞索还在他的脖子上晃来晃去 |
| [11:41] | Hey, sweetie. What you guys doing? | 亲爱的 你们干什么呢 |
| [11:43] | Have you heard of Twice Hung Willy? | 你听说过被绞死两次的威利吗 |
| [11:45] | Um, yes, I’m familiar with his films, but — | 嗯 我了解他的电影 但是… |
| [11:47] | What are you doing here? | 你们来干什么呢 |
| [11:48] | There’s something we forgot to pack for you. | 我们忘记给你打包了一样东西 |
| [11:50] | Can — can I talk to you for a second? | 我能和你聊聊吗 |
| [11:51] | No. It’s girls only. | 不行 这是女生派对 |
| [11:52] | Yeah, no, but you’re gonna love it. | 我知道 但你会喜欢的 |
| [11:54] | What is it? | 是什么 |
| [11:55] | Oh, it’s not for you, Christina. | 不是给你的 克里斯蒂娜 |
| [11:58] | Lily…? | 莉莉 |
| [12:00] | Why does your dad have a fallopian tube? | 你爸爸怎么拿着个输卵管 |
| [12:02] | That’s what it is. ? | 原来是这个名字 |
| [12:04] | What’s wrong with you?! | 你们有什么毛病啊 |
| [12:05] | Calm down, okay? | 冷静点 好吗 |
| [12:05] | Your father was fiddling | 你大爸在玩弄 |
| [12:07] | with your teacher’s reproductive organ. | 你老师的生殖器官 |
| [12:08] | Oh, my God! Ms. Wolfe?! | 天啊 沃尔夫老师 |
| [12:10] | No, ju– the model on her desk. | 不 是她桌子上的模型 |
| [12:11] | And then he put his finger into it, | 然后他把手指伸进去 |
| [12:13] | and then he couldn’t — | 然后他出不… |
| [12:15] | – Well, now mine’s stuck! – Okay, let me… | -我出不来了 -好吧 我来 |
| [12:16] | – Okay, this is tight. – Push your finger through. | -好紧啊 -你把手指穿过去 |
| [12:18] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [12:19] | Are they like this in real life? I don’t think so. | 真实生活中也是这样吗 我觉得不是 |
| [12:21] | This is gross! | 太恶心了 |
| [12:22] | No. It’s not gross, okay? | 不 不恶心好吗 |
| [12:23] | Nothing about your body is gross to us. | 你身体的任何部分对我们来说都不会恶心 |
| [12:25] | Yes. Not your cycles, not your fluids — | 是的 你的生理周期不会 你的… |
| [12:27] | Oh my God, just stop talking forever, | 天啊 别再说了 |
| [12:29] | Just go! | 快走吧 |
| [12:32] | Oh, well, that was a disaster. | 真是太糟糕了 |
| [12:34] | You know, maybe it’s just time we start to admit | 或许是时候承认 |
| [12:36] | that straight couples have strengths | 异性恋伴侣 |
| [12:37] | that we don’t, you know? | 拥有我们没有的强项 |
| [12:39] | And maybe moms know more about girls than we do. | 或许妈妈们比咱们更了解女儿 |
| [12:43] | Is it time to start farming some of this girl stuff out? | 是时候转交女孩事宜了吗 |
| [12:45] | Yeah, but to who? | 是啊 但交给谁呢 |
| [12:45] | Claire’s an over-sharer. | 克莱尔和别人说的太多 |
| [12:47] | Gloria — is her body even human? | 歌洛莉亚 她的身体是人类的吗 |
| [12:49] | Haley knows less than Lily. | 海莉比莉莉知道的还少 |
| [12:51] | – So who do we go to? Alex? – ?I guess. | -那我们找谁 艾丽克斯吗 -我也认为 |
| [12:53] | I mean, it’ll be dull, but it’ll be right. | 或许会很无聊 但至少正确 |
| [12:56] | Let’s prank call Milo again. | 咱们再给米洛打个恶作剧电话吧 |
| [12:57] | You totally like him. | 你喜欢他 |
| [12:58] | I do not! I just want to torture him. | 我才没有 我只是想折磨他 |
| [13:01] | Okay — so, see, are we supposed to hear something like that | 好吧 我们听到这些 |
| [13:02] | – and say nothing? – Yes, we are. | -应该什么都不说吗 -是的 |
| [13:04] | – Come on. – Okay, hi. | -快走 -各位 |
| [13:05] | If you want to get a boy’s attention, | 如果你们想要吸引男生的注意力 |
| [13:06] | you know, a prank call is probably not the move. | 恶作剧电话可能不是个好主意 |
| [13:09] | Dad! | 爸 |
| [13:10] | Cam, this is not our place. | 小卡 我们不应该插手 |
| [13:11] | But, he’s not wrong. | 但他没说错 |
| [13:12] | I just like to make him mad! | 我只是想让他抓狂 |
| [13:13] | Yeah, well, we just thought you liked him | 好吧 我们只是以为你喜欢他 |
| [13:15] | and you wanted to know the best way to get his attention, | 你想知道吸引他的好方法 |
| [13:17] | but apparently not. | 但看来不是这样 |
| [13:18] | So good night. | 那晚安啦 |
| [13:20] | Wait! | 等下 |
| [13:21] | – Okay. Okay, so, who’s Milo’s best friend? – Barrett. | -好吧 谁是米洛最好的朋友 -巴雷特 |
| [13:24] | Okay, you’re gonna text Milo, “You’re hilarious! | 好那你给米洛发短信 “你太好玩了 |
| [13:27] | Crying-laughing face, and winky face emoji.” | 笑哭表情加眨眼表情” |
| [13:30] | Then wait a beat. | 然后过一会儿 |
| [13:31] | Then you’re gonna text back, | 你再发一条 |
| [13:32] | “Oops, sorry. That was for Barrett. | “哎呀抱歉 刚才是要发给巴雷特的 |
| [13:34] | Neutral-face emoji with straight-line mouth.” | 嘴巴一条线的没表情脸” |
| [13:36] | Oh my God. Genius. | 天啊 太高招了 |
| [13:39] | Wow, I’ve never seen her smile. | 我从没见过她笑 |
| [13:41] | Dudes! | 亲们 |
| [13:42] | Milo just texted me back. | 米洛回我短信了 |
| [13:43] | Okay, what’d he say? | 好 他说了什么 |
| [13:44] | “You’re a jerk. | “你真讨厌 |
| [13:45] | Winky eye face with the tongue hanging out.” | 吐舌头的眨眼表情” |
| [13:48] | Oh, you’re in. You’re in. | 你有戏了 |
| [13:50] | Do not text him back, okay? | 别回复他知道吗 |
| [13:51] | But when you see him on Monday, | 但当你周一早上见他时 |
| [13:53] | walk right past him and throw him a quick… | 走过他 然后给他来句 |
| [13:55] | “Hey.” | “嗨” |
| [13:56] | Hey. ?Yes! | 嗨 没错 |
| [13:57] | All right, you girls got it from here. | 好了 你们继续吧 |
| [13:59] | We have a dinner reservation. | 我们订了餐厅吃晚餐 |
| [14:01] | Hey, I saw what you put in the bag. | 我看到你们装到包里的东西了 |
| [14:03] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [14:03] | You’re welcome, sweetie. And we love you. | 不客气亲爱的 我们爱你 |
| [14:05] | Are you gonna be this cool when I like a boy? | 我喜欢男孩的时候你们还会这么酷吗 |
| [14:07] | Oh, no. No. No. Not a chance. | 不不不 不可能 |
| [14:14] | – Good, you’re home. – One second. | -太好了 你回来了 -等一下 |
| [14:16] | Papi, you look great in that new shirt! | 宝贝 你穿这件新衬衫真是太漂亮了 |
| [14:19] | – So handsome! – Gloria! | -太帅了 -歌洛莉亚 |
| [14:23] | I thought you were Manny. | 我以为你是曼尼 |
| [14:25] | Good. You’re caught up now. | 很好 你现在看出来了 |
| [14:27] | I know I put on a few, | 我知道我有点胖了 |
| [14:28] | but they don’t take you seriously as an opera singer | 但作为歌剧演员太瘦的话 |
| [14:30] | when you’re too skinny. | 别人就不会把你当一回事儿 |
| [14:31] | Do you know what happens when the thin lady sings? | 你们知道瘦弱的女士演唱时会怎么样吗 |
| [14:34] | The show just keeps going. | 大家会以为之后还有 |
| [14:35] | It’s so wonderful to see you. | 见到你真是太好了 |
| [14:37] | I — I’m gonna go and open a bottle of wine. | 我要开瓶酒 |
| [14:44] | Do you think that Jorge could be…? | 你觉得豪尔赫可能… |
| [14:47] | Jorge mentioned you bounced around | 豪尔赫提到过 |
| [14:49] | between him and Javier. | 你在他和哈维尔之间徘徊不定 |
| [14:50] | How much bouncing did you do? | 你徘徊到什么样的地步 |
| [14:53] | Technically, it’s possible. | 严格来说 是可能的 |
| [14:55] | Oh, my God. | 我的老天 |
| [14:56] | – How is Manny going to handle this? – Not great. | -曼尼对此会作何反应 -肯定不会好 |
| [14:59] | You know he doesn’t respond well to surprises. | 你知道他不善于面对意外 |
| [15:02] | Remember how upset he got | 记得他发现那些土豆泥 |
| [15:03] | when he found out those mashed potatoes | 实际上是花椰菜泥时 |
| [15:04] | were really just whipped cauliflower? | 他有多沮丧吗 |
| [15:06] | What are we going to do? | 我们要怎么办 |
| [15:08] | Okay, Grandpa, I got — | 外公 我 |
| [15:10] | Oh, Gloria, you’re here. | 歌洛莉亚你在这 |
| [15:11] | What do you bring with you, besides that guilty look? | 除了那惭愧的表情之外你还带了什么 |
| [15:14] | Okay, in order to get a definitive answer, | 为了得到确切的结果 |
| [15:17] | I had Alex perform a DNA test. | 我请艾丽克斯做了亲子鉴定 |
| [15:20] | You got them both to spit? | 你让他俩都吐了唾沫了吗 |
| [15:21] | They use hair now. Eugh. | 他们现在用头发测了 |
| [15:23] | Hey, lotion’s on the sink, Jorge. | 豪尔赫 乳液在水池上 |
| [15:25] | Hey, turns out I’m not the only one | 原来我不是唯一一个 |
| [15:27] | who suffers from dry naval. | 皮肤容易干的人 |
| [15:30] | Uh, Alex, why do you have a medical form | 艾丽克斯 为什么你拿着 |
| [15:32] | with my name on it? | 有我名字的医疗报告 |
| [15:34] | I don’t think I should be the one to explain this. | 我认为不该由我来解释 |
| [15:40] | Manny…as you know, | 曼尼 你知道 |
| [15:42] | your mother and Jorge had a relationship. | 你妈妈和豪尔赫在一起过 |
| [15:45] | You’re a lot alike, | 你和他很像 |
| [15:46] | and it made us curious as to whether… | 所以我们好奇是不是 |
| [15:49] | Uh, are — are you saying — | 你是说… |
| [15:51] | This is a DNA test. | 这是亲子鉴定 |
| [15:52] | Your mom didn’t even find out until today. | 你妈也是直到今天才发现 |
| [15:57] | So — I– | 所以 我 |
| [15:58] | I — I don’t even know how to react. | 我根本不知道该作何反应 |
| [16:00] | So my whole childhood was a lie? | 所以我的整个童年就是个谎言 |
| [16:03] | I thought Javier was my dad. | 我以为哈维尔是我爸 |
| [16:05] | Now he’s just some stranger who gave me baths? | 现在他不过是个给我洗澡的陌生人 |
| [16:07] | Listen, buddy. | 听着 孩子 |
| [16:09] | It’s not who brings you into the world. | 谁将你带到这个世上并不重要 |
| [16:10] | It’s what you do when you’re there. | 你在这个世上做了什么才重要 |
| [16:12] | You’re not Javier. | 你不是哈维尔 |
| [16:13] | You’re not this guy. You’re you. | 你也不是这个家伙 你就是你 |
| [16:15] | And what you are is amazing. | 你很棒 |
| [16:17] | And for the record, | 你听我说 |
| [16:18] | I’ve been your dad since you were 10, | 从你十岁起我就成为你的爸爸 |
| [16:19] | and I’m gonna be your dad until I’m gone. | 我至死都是你的爸爸 |
| [16:23] | I love you, and I always will. | 我爱你 永远都爱你 |
| [16:25] | I love you too, Jay. | 杰 我也爱你 |
| [16:34] | Ha! April Fool’s! | 愚人节快乐 |
| [16:37] | Now who doesn’t understand a joke?! | 现在是谁不懂笑话啊 |
| [16:39] | What? | 什么 |
| [16:40] | I never dated Jorge! | 我从没跟豪尔赫在一起过 |
| [16:43] | He’s the butcher at the grocery store! | 他是超市里的屠夫啦 |
| [16:45] | I just thought that he looked like Manny! | 我只是觉得他长得跟曼尼很像 |
| [16:48] | Why would you do that? | 你为什么要这么做啊 |
| [16:50] | Because you said that I didn’t understand funny. | 因为你们说我不懂幽默 |
| [16:53] | I didn’t know you were going to take the prank this far. | 我之前没想到你会整到这么狠 |
| [16:55] | You made Grandpa cry. | 你都害外公哭了 |
| [16:57] | I know! | 对啊 |
| [16:58] | He was like, | 看他刚那样子 |
| [16:58] | “I love you and I always will.” | “我爱你 永远都爱你” |
| [17:05] | Okay, look, I’m out. | 好了 我要走了 |
| [17:07] | Uh, I used to raise veal, | 我曾养与屠宰过小牛 |
| [17:08] | and this has to be the cruelest thing | 但你这个是我这辈子 |
| [17:10] | I’ve ever been a part of. | 参与过最残忍的事情了 |
| [17:14] | Okay, almost there… almost there… | 快到了 就快到了 |
| [17:16] | Hang on. One second. | 等等 一秒 |
| [17:17] | Claire’s gift involved a blindfold | 克莱尔的礼物包含了眼罩 |
| [17:19] | and a second location — | 与第二地点 |
| [17:21] | showmanship of the highest order. | 这是最高境界的表演技巧 |
| [17:22] | To make things worse, the clock ran out on me. | 而我当时已经没时间了 |
| [17:25] | My gift… | 我的礼物… |
| [17:27] | I settled… | 凑数选了个… |
| [17:30] | I can’t even say it out loud. | 我都不好意思说出来 |
| [17:31] | And… | 准备… |
| [17:33] | Ta-da! | 请看 |
| [17:34] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [17:36] | ?Our old apartment. | 我们以前住的公寓 |
| [17:38] | I know. | 怎么样 |
| [17:38] | I was noodling around on Airbnb a couple of weeks ago | 我几周前在短租网站上随便看看 |
| [17:41] | and it was just right there listed. | 而这里正好在招租 |
| [17:44] | Unbelievable. | 真是不敢相信 |
| [17:46] | It’s $85 for the night, | 一晚只要85块 |
| [17:48] | $6 for our old favorite Arizona fish sticks, | 我们以前最爱的炸鱼柳条6块 |
| [17:51] | which you will smell warming right now… | 正在烤 你应该能闻到 |
| [17:52] | …$3 for the “Forget Paris” rental. | 租电影《忘情巴黎》花了3块 |
| [17:56] | Aw, you even found cans of the wine we used to like. | 你还找到了我们以前喜欢的瓶装红酒 |
| [17:59] | You completely nailed it. | 你真的选得很成功 |
| [18:01] | I know. I really did! | 我知道 太成功了 |
| [18:03] | I did! I did! | 我成功了 我成功了 |
| [18:04] | And it was the first time ever. | 这也是我第一次成功 |
| [18:06] | And… | 而且… |
| [18:07] | I really want this feeling to last. | 我好希望这感觉能一直不散 |
| [18:09] | Would it be weird if I asked you | 如果我要求你 |
| [18:10] | not to give me your gift until tomorrow? | 明天再给我礼物 会不会很奇怪 |
| [18:12] | – You got it. ?- Yes! | -满足你 -太棒了 |
| [18:14] | In fact, I might, uh — | 其实呢 我可能 |
| [18:15] | I might sneak off and trade this in | 我可能会偷偷跑去把这个礼物给换掉 |
| [18:17] | for something really terrible | 换成个很烂的东西 |
| [18:19] | just to seal your victory. | 让你更显大获全胜 |
| [18:20] | All right. | 好了 |
| [18:21] | Now let’s get this party started. | 现在让派对正式开始吧 |
| [18:24] | No. ?Mm. | 不会吧 |
| [18:25] | The old mixtape I made you? ? | 我以前为你做的精选集吗 |
| [18:27] | Oh, yeah. “Songs in the key of Phil.” | 没错 “菲尔之调合集” |
| [18:31] | Oh, no! ?Oh. Oh. | 糟糕 |
| [18:32] | Aw, no. Wait, hang on. | 糟糕 等等 |
| [18:34] | – It’s not going back in. – You know what? | -卷不回去了 -没事啦 |
| [18:36] | Sometimes it’s nice to not have music. | 有时候不听音乐也挺好的 |
| [18:40] | Well, I’m not listening to that all night. | 我才不要整晚听那个 |
| [18:43] | I wonder if the old intercom system still works. | 不知道当年的”对讲机系统”还好用不 |
| [18:48] | Oh, yeah! | 想起来了 |
| [18:49] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [18:50] | Give it to ’em. | 狠狠地教训他们 |
| [18:51] | Tell ’em how I feel. | 挥洒我的情绪 |
| [18:58] | Oh, my God! | 天啊 |
| [18:59] | It’s okay! Okay. No need to be alarmed. | 没事的 没事 不用紧张 |
| [19:03] | Oh, no, not the fish sticks! | 鱼柳条别焦了啊 |
| [19:08] | Oh, oh, Phil? Open the window, and it’ll stop the alarm! | 菲尔 打开窗烟雾警报就会停了 |
| [19:13] | – Oh, God! ?Whoa! Oh, God! – ?Oh, it’s okay! | -天啊 救命 -没事的 |
| [19:15] | – Phil! Phil! ?- Oh! I got you! | -菲尔 菲尔 -我来救你 |
| [19:17] | – Okay. – I got you! | -好 -我来救你 |
| [19:19] | Oh, God. ? oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. | 天啊 天啊 天啊 |
| [19:21] | Oh, God. Oh, God. | 天啊 天啊 |
| [19:24] | Wine is flammable?! | 红酒可燃吗 |
| [19:25] | No! But that is! | 不可 但这种可以 |
| [19:27] | ?Oh, God. | 救命啊 |
| [19:31] | Raccoons! | 我了个浣熊 |
| [19:32] | Oh, for God’s sake, Phil, just swear like an adult. | 求你了 要骂脏话就用大人用的词 |
| [19:34] | No! | 不是 |
| [19:37] | Part of me always knew this is how I was gonna go out. | 我内心的某个部分早料到我有天会这么死 |
| [19:39] | In a wine fire surrounded by raccoons? | 被浣熊围绕 死在红酒火灾中吗 |
| [19:41] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [19:47] | What is that? | 这是什么 |
| [19:51] | Oh, my goodness. | 我的天啊 |
| [19:52] | Oh, yes. | 太赞了 |
| [19:54] | What — what is this? | 这又是什么 |
| [20:02] | Oh, yes! | 太厉害了 |
| [20:04] | – Yeah! Get out! – You shut your mouth! | -还不快滚 -你也给老子闭嘴 |
| [20:07] | Oh, yeah! | 爽啊 |
| [20:08] | And since the neighbors can’t take a hint. | 既然我们的邻居听不懂暗示 |
| [20:12] | That was amazing. | 这真是太屌了 |
| [20:15] | My dear, | 亲爱的老婆 |
| [20:16] | nothing but the best for you… | 送给你最好的礼物 |
| [20:19] | …on our anniversary. | 来纪念我们的结婚纪念日 |
| [20:22] | ?Now… | 来 |
| [20:25] | …where were we? | 刚才说到哪了 |
| [20:35] | May I have this dance? | 能赏脸跳这支舞吗 |
| [20:36] | Yes. | 可以 |
| [20:39] | I am the luckiest girl in the world. | 我真是世界上最幸运的女孩 |
| [20:44] | Did you get me a mop for our — | 你结婚纪念日要送我拖… |
| [20:52] | Come on. | 给点力啊 |
| [20:53] | Honey, what happened? | 亲爱的 怎么了 |
| [20:55] | I spilled some milk. | 我弄撒了一点牛奶 |
| [20:56] | Apparently the only thing this mop can’t do is mop. | 结果这拖把什么都能 就是不能拖地 |
| [20:58] | Well, there’s no use crying over it. | 为此难过也没用 |
| [21:00] | Just call them and complain. | 直接打给他们投诉吧 |
| [21:02] | Oh, you’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [21:04] | This is your emergency moperator. | 我是您的紧急拖把专员 |
| [21:05] | How can I help? | 有何能为您效劳呢 |
| [21:06] | The mop function on my mop isn’t working. | 我拖把的拖地功能坏了 |
| [21:10] | I’m sorry to hear that, | 我深感抱歉 |
| [21:12] | I’m gonna go ahead and do you a remote reset. | 我这就远端帮您重启拖把 |
| [21:14] | You may notice your mop gets extremly hot. | 您可能会发现拖把温度变得极高 |
| [21:17] | Should I…? | 我应该… |
| [21:18] | I’m kidding. | 我开玩笑的 |
| [21:20] | Good one moperator. | 拖把专员 这个玩笑好 |
| [21:21] | You should’ve seen his face. | 真希望你能看到他刚才的表情 |
| [21:23] | I did. You are an adorable couple. | 我看到了 你们真是一对有爱的夫妇 |
| [21:25] | – I rid of it. – I’m… | -扔了它 -我这就… |