| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Merry Christmas Eve, Alex. | 平安夜快乐 艾丽克斯 |
| [00:04] | So, he’s still alive — | 他还活着啊 |
| [00:06] | must mean you haven’t told Mom you’re pregnant yet. | 你一定还没跟妈妈说你怀孕的事吧 |
| [00:09] | We want to be careful to do it right. | 我们想谨慎处理好这件事 |
| [00:11] | Now you’re being careful? | 现在你倒知道谨慎了 |
| [00:13] | I can’t keep this secret anymore. | 我没办法再保守秘密了 |
| [00:15] | Look at me! | 看看我 |
| [00:16] | Ugh. She’s going gray. | 她头发都发白了 |
| [00:18] | Oh my God, she is! | 我的天 还真是 |
| [00:19] | I was just gasping at the haircut. | 我刚才是在惊讶她的丑发型呢 |
| [00:21] | Apparently, this is what happens when I feel stress now. | 我现在似乎一有压力就会这样 |
| [00:24] | Well, we’re telling them today, okay? | 好吧 我们一定会在今天告诉他们 好吗 |
| [00:26] | That way, if Mom freaks, | 这样的话 就算妈妈生气 |
| [00:28] | she’ll have 10 days in Bermuda to calm down. | 她也有十天的时间在百慕大冷静下来 |
| [00:30] | Okay, then go now! | 行啊 那现在就去啊 |
| [00:32] | She’s never in a better mood than on Christmas Eve. | 她不会有比平安夜心情更好的时候了 |
| [00:34] | Wait, is this a good way to tell her? | 等一下 这样告诉她怎么样 |
| [00:36] | We hang a stocking for “Grandma Claire,” | 我们挂只袜子给”克莱尔外婆” |
| [00:38] | and when she goes, “I’m not a grandma,” | 然后当她说”我不是外婆”的时候 |
| [00:39] | we go, “Tell that to Haley and my’s baby.” | 我们就说 跟海莉和我”滴”宝宝说去吧 |
| [00:43] | Promise me you won’t home school this kid. | 答应我 送孩子去上学 别留家教育 |
| [00:47] | Hey, Mom. What are you doing? | 妈妈 你在干嘛呢 |
| [00:49] | Ugh, Christmas cards are just clutter. | 圣诞贺卡就是一堆废纸 |
| [00:52] | Wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等下等下等下 |
| [00:53] | You can’t throw away Uncle Cam’s card. | 你可不能扔掉小卡舅舅的贺卡 |
| [00:55] | You know how sensitive he gets about his piano placement. | 你知道他对钢琴上的布局有多敏感 |
| [00:58] | Remember that one year where his card | 还记得那年他的贺卡 |
| [01:00] | was slightly behind the one from our old babysitter? | 比我们家老保姆的卡片放得靠后了一点吗 |
| [01:03] | Mm, I believe he spoke the charming phrase, | 我想他用了句迷人的措辞 |
| [01:05] | “And who is this whore?” | “这臭婊子是谁” |
| [01:07] | Well, Christmas is at Grandpa’s this year, | 今年圣诞节在外公家过 |
| [01:09] | so Cam will never see it. | 所以小卡不会看到它的 |
| [01:12] | Check out the sledding polar bear paper. | 看看这些滑雪橇的北极熊包装纸 |
| [01:14] | Can’t look at that and not be in a good mood, huh? | 看到它不由自主就会有好心情 对吧 |
| [01:16] | Yeah. | 可不是吗 |
| [01:16] | I am so sick of that stuff. | 我超讨厌这玩意儿 |
| [01:18] | I ordered five rolls from some kid for a school drive. | 我为了学校活动跟某孩子订了5卷 |
| [01:21] | He shows up with fifty — his fault. | 结果他带来了50卷… 他的错 |
| [01:24] | Kid bursts into tears. | 这孩子就哭了起来 |
| [01:25] | Like it’s on me that he can’t count? | 好像他不会数数是我的错 |
| [01:27] | -I was six, Mom. -Mm. | -我那时才六岁 妈妈 -行吧 |
| [01:32] | Bermuda just gets it — | 去百慕大就该这样穿 |
| [01:34] | formal yet casual. | 正式却不失休闲 |
| [01:36] | And home of the most perfectly tanned | 而且还能看到世界上晒黑最完美的 |
| [01:38] | lower thigh, upper knee region in the world. | 大腿下部和膝盖上部区域 |
| [01:41] | Not hard to pick out a Bermudan in a locker room. | 以后在更衣室要找到百慕大同乡就很容易了 |
| [01:43] | No. Oh, hang on. | 别了吧 等一下 |
| [01:46] | Wait. Well, this can’t be right. | 等等 这不对啊 |
| [01:48] | This itinerary says we’re on four flights | 这个行程表上说我们有四个航班 |
| [01:50] | with three layovers. | 和三次中转 |
| [01:51] | Oh, yeah, um… | 是啊 |
| [01:52] | remember how I found that amazing airline deal online? | 记得我在网上找到那个很棒的机票吗 |
| [01:55] | Yeah, but two of these layovers are six hours each. | 记得 可是其中两个中转长达六个小时 |
| [01:58] | Yes, but the third one’s only 12 minutes. | 是啊 但第三个只有十二分钟呢 |
| [02:00] | But it’s at O’Hare. | 但那是在奥黑尔机场 |
| [02:01] | Honey, we’ll have to sprint | 亲爱的 我们得在十二分钟内 |
| [02:02] | from one end of the airport to the other. | 从机场的这头跑到那头 |
| [02:04] | It’ll all be worth it when we wake up on December 27th | 当我们12月27日在百慕大醒来的时候 |
| [02:07] | in Bermuda, where the forecast predicts… | 一切都是值得的 那里天气预报显示… |
| [02:09] | hot fog. | 热雾 |
| [02:11] | Can’t we just take a direct flight? | 我们就不能坐直达班机吗 |
| [02:12] | There’s no changes, the terms were very clear. | 不能变更 条款写得很清楚 |
| [02:14] | It was part of a promotion for a new website | 这是一个新网站促销活动 |
| [02:16] | called Tickets.Plane | 那网站叫做机.票网 |
| [02:19] | Oh, yeah, I have a showing right down the street. | 对了 我要在附近带人看房 |
| [02:21] | Okay. Wait, hang on. | 好的 等一下 |
| [02:23] | Don’t leave. Don’t leave. | 先别急着走 |
| [02:23] | What is Economy Minus? | 低等经济舱是什么 |
| [02:26] | A plus, actually, | 其实应该是升等才对 |
| [02:28] | since no one’s jealous of people with aisle seats, | 因为这舱里没有人会嫉妒坐不到走道位 |
| [02:30] | because it’s basically two innovative 18-person benches | 这基本上是两排创新的十八人长椅 |
| [02:34] | facing each other. | 面对面放着 |
| [02:36] | Phil?! | 菲尔 |
| [02:40] | – What? – Nothing. | -什么事 -没事 |
| [02:58] | Who moved Cam’s card? | 谁动了小卡的贺卡 |
| [02:59] | He’s gonna be very upset if he’s not on the mantel! | 如果不放在壁炉上小卡会很不开心的 |
| [03:02] | I put it in a drawer until he gets here. | 我把它放在抽屉里了 等他来再拿出来 |
| [03:03] | That glitter was getting on everything. | 上面的闪粉粘得到处都是 |
| [03:05] | I breathed some of that in. | 我还吸进了一点 |
| [03:07] | I cough gold now. | 我现在咳出的都是金粉 |
| [03:09] | Gloria, you got a package from Colombia. | 歌洛莉亚 你有一个哥伦比亚来的包裹 |
| [03:12] | Must mean the government took back the airstrip. | 看来你们政府拿回飞机跑道了 |
| [03:14] | Those are the gifts from my cousins! | 那是我亲戚们送的礼物 |
| [03:19] | Beautiful! | 真好看 |
| [03:21] | Back home we call these sueteres de Navidad. | 在老家我们叫它”毛衣之圣诞[西语]” |
| [03:25] | So…Christmas sweaters. | 所以就是圣诞毛衣呗 |
| [03:27] | Put them on so we can take a picture. | 快穿上 我们来拍张照 |
| [03:30] | Wow, these are really soft. | 这毛衣真柔软 |
| [03:32] | Damn cozy is what they are. | 可舒适保暖了 |
| [03:34] | Oh, look, they also sent a banana leaf wreath. | 看 他们还送了香蕉叶花环 |
| [03:38] | Banana spider! | 香蕉蜘蛛 |
| [03:39] | – What?! – What is that?! | -什么 -那是什么鬼玩意 |
| [03:40] | It’s a deadly spider! It will kill you! | 是一种致命毒蜘蛛 能杀死人的 |
| [03:42] | I know what deadly means! | 我知道致命是什么意思 |
| [03:43] | Well, where’d it go? | 它去哪了 |
| [03:44] | I’m wearing backless house slippers! | 我的家居鞋不包脚后跟 |
| [03:46] | I think it ran over to the — | 我觉得它跑到 |
| [03:49] | He took the tree! | 它占领圣诞树了 |
| [03:51] | Am I the only one who feels kinda itchy? | 只有我觉得有点痒吗 |
| [03:53] | The sweaters. | 毛衣有问题 |
| [03:55] | Where there’s one, there’s many! | 明处有一只 暗处上百千 |
| [03:57] | – Run! – Let’s go! | -快跑 -我们走 |
| [04:01] | Dear God, he’s got the remote. | 老天 它占领遥控器了 |
| [04:05] | Okay, smile! | 来笑一个 |
| [04:06] | Can we go look at phones after this? | 这个完了我们能去看看手机吗 |
| [04:07] | No, Lily, you are not getting a cell phone for Christmas. | 不行 莉莉 圣诞节不能给你手机当礼物 |
| [04:10] | They’re expensive, and you haven’t proven yourself | 手机很贵 你还没有证明自己 |
| [04:12] | responsible enough to own one yet. | 有足够的责任感拥有自己的一部手机 |
| [04:14] | Uh, I was responsible enough to come to a foreign country | 我够有责任感了 我都到一个陌生的国家 |
| [04:17] | and build a life with two strangers. | 和两个陌生人过日子了 |
| [04:18] | Okay, you used that one to get a later bedtime, all right? | 你想晚点睡觉的时候用过这理由了 |
| [04:21] | Oh, Cal, you’re next. | 卡尔 你是下一个 |
| [04:24] | We want Cal to have a perfect Christmas. | 我们想给卡尔一个完美圣诞 |
| [04:27] | It’s tough with his mom being in prison. | 这挺有难度 毕竟他妈妈在监狱 |
| [04:29] | Plus, his holiday season kind of got off to a rough start. | 另外 他的圣诞季开始得有点糟糕 |
| [04:33] | You know, of all of our wonderful ornament selects, | 你知道吗 我们选的所有装饰品里 |
| [04:35] | these are my fave. | 这俩是我的最爱 |
| [04:36] | Merry Christmas! | 圣诞快乐[M.C] |
| [04:38] | From Mitch and Cam! | 也是米奇和小卡的首字母缩写 |
| [04:40] | ♪ Up on the rooftop, reindeer pause ♪ | ♪ 驯鹿屋顶上停下来 ♪ |
| [04:42] | ♪ Out jumps good old Santa Claus ♪ | ♪ 圣诞老人蹦下雪橇 ♪ |
| [04:45] | ♪ Down through the chimney with lots of toys ♪ | ♪ 背着玩具爬下烟囱 ♪ |
| [04:47] | ♪ All for the little ones’ Christmas joy ♪ | ♪ 带给孩子们圣诞欢乐 ♪ |
| [04:50] | ♪ Ho, ho, ho, who wouldn’t go? ♪ | ♪ 呵呵呵 谁不想来呢 ♪ |
| [04:52] | ♪ Ho, ho, ho, who wouldn’t go? ♪ | ♪ 呵呵呵 谁不想来呢 ♪ |
| [04:55] | ♪ Up on the housetop, click, click, click ♪ | ♪ 圣诞老人屋顶上 嗒嗒嗒 ♪ |
| [04:59] | – He was fine. Fine! – He was fine. | -他没事 真的没事 -挺好的 |
| [05:01] | We barely got through three verses | 我们还没唱完三节和反复一次副歌 |
| [05:02] | and a repeat chorus before we realized our mistake. | 就反应过来自己的过失了 |
| [05:05] | – Although that rainstorm came out of nowhere. – Yeah. | -虽然还莫名其妙开始下了场暴风雨 -是啊 |
| [05:08] | Merry Christmas, little Cal! | 圣诞快乐 小卡尔 |
| [05:10] | Lily, take your cousin over there. Relax a little. | 莉莉 带你表弟过去玩一会儿 |
| [05:12] | Okay, go. | 去吧 |
| [05:13] | – Hi! – Hi! | -你好 -你好 |
| [05:15] | Hey, Santa. So, just wondering if you could you do us a favor | 圣诞老人 不知道你能不能帮我们一个小忙 |
| [05:17] | and tell us what our nephew just asked for for Christmas? | 告诉我们小侄子想要什么圣诞礼物 |
| [05:20] | I know you. You’re that lawyer. | 我认识你 你是那个律师 |
| [05:22] | Oh, no. This is never good. | 完了 这么一开头就没好事 |
| [05:24] | You’re the ADA who charged me with public intoxication. | 你是那个指控我公共场合酗酒的助理地检 |
| [05:26] | Got me sentenced to fifty hours community service — | 给我判了五十个小时社区服务 |
| [05:29] | working as a mall Santa is part of it. | 包括为商场扮圣诞老人 |
| [05:31] | Okay. Well, I’m sorry. But can’t we move past that? | 真的抱歉 我们能大人不记小人过吗 |
| [05:34] | We really need to know what our nephew asked for. | 我们真的需要知道小侄子想要什么 |
| [05:36] | He asked for a more lenient justice system. | 他想要更宽松的司法体系 |
| [05:38] | Well, I doubt that. He’s pretty conservative. | 我不太相信 他立场挺保守派 |
| [05:40] | We have to pretend to be roommates. | 我们不能承认关系 只能假装室友 |
| [05:42] | Can we move this along? | 我们能赶紧的吗 |
| [05:44] | I only have my kids for four hours this week. | 这周我只能和孩子待四个小时 |
| [05:46] | Merry Christmas. | 圣诞快乐 司法万岁 |
| [05:48] | You know what? As a former mall Santa, | 你知道 作为一个前任商场圣诞老人 |
| [05:49] | I vowed never to comment on a sitting Santa, | 我发过誓不评判一个在岗的圣诞老人 |
| [05:51] | but you’re a disgrace to the red and white. | 但是你真让这红白制服丢脸 |
| [05:55] | Phil, I just got off the phone with my dad. | 菲尔 我刚和我爸通完电话 |
| [05:56] | We’re moving Christmas Eve to our house. | 平安夜要挪到我们家过了 |
| [05:58] | I got to run out and get some groceries. | 我得赶紧出去买点杂货 |
| [05:59] | See you soon. Bye. | 一会见 拜 |
| [06:03] | Where’s the tree? | 圣诞树呢 |
| [06:04] | Where are the gifts? | 礼物都到哪去了 |
| [06:06] | I assumed you canceled Christmas because you found out that I — | 我想你取消过圣诞节 因为你发现我… |
| [06:10] | But I interrupted you. | 不过我打断你说话了 |
| [06:11] | Did your dad take them to his showing? | 你爸是不是把东西拿去卖房那里了 |
| [06:13] | He’s always doing this — he steals my decorations | 他总干这种事 把我的装饰偷拿走 |
| [06:16] | to stage his houses to make them homier. | 去布置他卖的房子 增加家庭气息 |
| [06:18] | He swore he would stop doing this! | 他保证过不会再犯的 |
| [06:20] | At least he left the “Wreaf.” | 至少他没拿走”发环” |
| [06:22] | Wreath. | 是花环 |
| [06:23] | Eh, I’ve heard it both ways. | 两种发音我都有听人说过啦 |
| [06:24] | No, I have, too. Doesn’t make it right. | 我也听过 但不代表是对的 |
| [06:28] | What are we supposed to do? | 我们该如何是好 |
| [06:28] | We can’t host a Christmas without a tree. | 没有圣诞树 就没法办圣诞节晚宴了 |
| [06:31] | I thought you weren’t allowed to host Christmas anymore | 经过去年的事件后 他们不是不准你 |
| [06:32] | after last year. | 再办圣诞节晚宴了吗 |
| [06:35] | I took a swing at a new way to prepare turkey. | 我突发妙想 用创新方法烹饪了火鸡 |
| [06:41] | Well, this is frozen. | 火鸡都没解冻 |
| [06:42] | No, Dad, you just — you hit a bone. | 不是的 爸爸 你只是切到了骨头 |
| [06:44] | I saw this on “Top Chef.” | 我从《顶级大厨》学到的 |
| [06:46] | They cooked an entire turkey in one hour. | 他们只用一小时就煮好了一整只火鸡 |
| [06:48] | Luke had some, you’re fine. Aren’t you, buddy? | 卢克已经吃了 你还好好的 对吧 |
| [06:52] | Check on Joe. | 看乔有没有事 |
| [06:59] | Oh, your father isn’t answering. | 你爸不接电话 |
| [07:03] | You knew about this, didn’t you? | 这事你一定知情 对吧 |
| [07:04] | I could tell you were hiding something. | 我能看出来你心里藏了秘密 |
| [07:10] | Phil? | 菲尔 |
| [07:12] | Phil! | 菲尔 |
| [07:14] | Ph– Oh! | 菲… |
| [07:16] | This theater is totally soundproof, | 这间家庭影院完全隔音 |
| [07:18] | so no one will hear you yelling at Jim | 所以不会有人听到你大声吼吉姆 |
| [07:20] | to pick up his socks, Sandy. | 叫他把袜子捡起来 桑迪 |
| [07:22] | She does get loud. | 她有时的确”很大声” |
| [07:28] | So, all of this, | 这房子优点多多 |
| [07:29] | plus it’s in a great school dist…rict. | 而且还在很好的学区里 |
| [07:32] | Oh my God, was this house just robbed? | 老天 这房子刚被抢劫了吗 |
| [07:34] | I told you this was a sketchy area. | 我就跟你说这一区很乱吧 |
| [07:36] | I am not going through another home invasion | 我不要再经历一次入室抢劫 |
| [07:38] | with the kids and me banging on the panic room door. | 而我和孩子们在安全屋外狂锤门你都不开 |
| [07:41] | So, you guys chat, and I’ll, uh, take a minute, | 你们慢慢聊 我看看 |
| [07:44] | see if I can find a replacement tree | 能不能找到替代的圣诞树 |
| [07:46] | and nine identically wrapped gifts. | 以及九份包装纸一模一样的礼物 |
| [07:49] | It’s the perfect way to get your mom in a good mood. | 这办法一定能让你妈心情变好 |
| [07:52] | Think about it — cupcakes are little cakes | 你想想啊 杯子蛋糕就是小蛋糕 |
| [07:54] | just like babies are little people. | 就像婴儿就是小人儿 |
| [07:56] | I guess. | 应该吧 |
| [07:57] | I just want this to go well. | 我只是希望一切能顺利进行 |
| [07:59] | I’m in a really good place with this baby, | 怀了这个孩子 我很开心 |
| [08:00] | and I want my mom to be, too. | 我希望妈妈也为此开心 |
| [08:03] | She wasn’t in the best mood this morning. | 她今早心情不是很好 |
| [08:04] | It’s Christmas Eve. | 今天是平安夜 |
| [08:05] | She can’t stay a Grinch all day. | 她不可能一整天都像变相怪杰一样脸色发青 |
| [08:16] | Thank you. That was the exterminator. | 谢谢 刚才我跟除虫人员说了 |
| [08:19] | He is, uh, on his way, | 他马上赶过来 |
| [08:21] | but he’s gonna have to tent the house for a couple of days. | 但除虫那几天 他得用帐篷把房子围起来 |
| [08:23] | And I’m trying to book us a hotel, | 我打算给我们订酒店 |
| [08:24] | but the call keeps dropping. | 但电话总断线 |
| [08:26] | Joe, let’s go to the backyard. There’s better reception. | 乔 我们到后院去 那里信号比较好 |
| [08:30] | Hey, listen. I left something inside. | 听着 我有东西落屋里了 |
| [08:32] | I need you to get it for me. This should keep you safe. | 你得去帮我拿出来 这应该能保你平安 |
| [08:34] | Are you crazy? I’m not going back into that spider’s nest. | 你疯了吗 我才不要回去那个蜘蛛巢穴 |
| [08:37] | Fine, I hate them, too. | 好吧 我也讨厌蜘蛛 |
| [08:38] | The problem is, they’re attracted to my musk. | 问题是 我身上的雄性麝香会吸引它们 |
| [08:41] | I went to the insect room at the zoo a while back, | 前不久我到动物园里的昆虫间 |
| [08:43] | and they all started banging on the glass like inmates. | 它们马上像犯人一样开始狂拍玻璃 |
| [08:45] | What’d you leave in there that’s so important? | 你落什么在屋里了 这么重要 |
| [08:47] | It’s a medication. | 是药 |
| [08:48] | I’m fine, but I didn’t tell your mom | 我没事 但我没告诉你妈 |
| [08:50] | ’cause I didn’t want her to worry. | 因为我不想她担心 |
| [08:51] | Can we just stop by a liquor store | 我们不能顺路到酒水商店 |
| [08:53] | and refill your “Prescription.” | 帮你加满”处方药”吗 |
| [08:54] | It’s a medicine! Look… | 都说了是药 听着 |
| [08:56] | I’m sure our hotel has a top notch spa. | 我们住的酒店一定有顶级水疗 |
| [08:59] | One that might add a, uh, hot stone massage, | 也许还能加个热石按摩 |
| [09:01] | an herbal soak… | 和花草浸浴 |
| [09:03] | Do I look like someone who can be bought? | 我像是会被物质收买的人吗 |
| [09:04] | No, but you do look like someone who might enjoy | 不像 但你看起来应该会喜欢 |
| [09:06] | a four-handed Balinese seaweed swaddle. | 四手巴厘岛式海藻按摩 |
| [09:10] | You son of a bitch. | 你个奸诈的老混蛋 |
| [09:14] | So, Cal, what did you and Santa talk about? | 卡尔 你跟圣诞老人聊什么啦 |
| [09:17] | It’s a secret. | 那是秘密 |
| [09:19] | Me, I’d be fine with just cash. | 我 现金就行 |
| [09:20] | You guys have enough on your plate. | 你们要烦心的事够多了 给你们减轻负担 |
| [09:21] | Okay, you’re not buying yourself a phone, all right? | 你也别想自己去买个电话 好吧 |
| [09:23] | Ooh, Santa’s on break. | 圣诞老人休息了 |
| [09:25] | Okay, Lily, go sit with Cal again. | 莉莉 去和卡尔坐在一起 |
| [09:27] | You guys need me — maybe throw a please in there. | 你们要我帮忙 好歹加个请字吧 |
| [09:29] | – Yeah. Hi! – Hi! | -好的 嗨 -嗨 |
| [09:31] | Oh, it really is the most wonderful time of the year. | 真的是一年中最美好的时刻 |
| [09:34] | – Beautiful. – Isn’t it? So, listen, do you mind if — | -真美好 -不是吗 你介不介意 |
| [09:36] | Do you think you’re the first parents | 你们觉得你们是第一个 |
| [09:36] | wanting to take a peek at my scroll? | 想偷看我名册的家长吗 |
| [09:38] | Better stick something in my bootie. | 最好在我的靴子[屁股]里塞点东西 |
| [09:40] | – Whoa, whoa, whoa. – I’m sorry. What? | -哇 哇 -什么鬼 |
| [09:41] | Cash in the slipper, perv. | 塞钱在我鞋子里 变态 |
| [09:44] | – Oh. Do you wanna… – Yeah, yeah, I got — I got, | -你 -嗯 我有 |
| [09:46] | uh — I’ve got $10. | 我有十块 |
| [09:48] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [09:49] | No, this is just a list of toys. | 不 这只是玩具列表 |
| [09:51] | None of the kids’ names are next to them. | 孩子的名字没在上面 |
| [09:53] | Oh, oh. You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [09:54] | Uh, we’ll look at pictures of Cal in line | 我们看下卡尔排队的照片 |
| [09:56] | and then match the kids up behind him | 把他之后的孩子 |
| [09:58] | with the toys on the list. | 和单子上的玩具连在一起 |
| [09:59] | Okay, so, well, I guess this Asian kid, | 好 我猜这个亚洲小孩 |
| [10:01] | he maybe wants the, uh — | 他可能想要个… |
| [10:02] | There’s no time to be politically correct. | 没时间在这里回避种族刻板印象了 |
| [10:03] | – He wants the calculator. – Calculator. | -他想要个计算器 -计算器 |
| [10:04] | And he wants it bad. Yeah. | 他特别想要 |
| [10:05] | Wait, does that mean that | 等下 那意味着 |
| [10:06] | this little boy wants the Barbie Styling Head? | 这个小男孩想要芭比造型头吗 |
| [10:08] | Yep, look at the turned-out foot. | 没错 看那精心打扮的脚 |
| [10:09] | Oh, of course he wants the Barbie Styling Head. | 他当然是想要芭比造型头 |
| [10:11] | Which means Cal wants… | 这就意味着卡尔想要 |
| [10:13] | Hot Wheels! | 风火轮小汽车 |
| [10:14] | Okay, okay. | 好的 |
| [10:16] | – Let’s go. Thank you! – Thank you. | -我们走 谢谢 -谢谢 |
| [10:19] | Don’t worry. They come back. | 别担心 他们会回来的 |
| [10:25] | Please tell me you told Mom and Dad. | 求你告诉我你们已经去说了 |
| [10:27] | No, but we’re gonna tell them in song. | 没 但我们会用歌声告诉你们爸妈 |
| [10:29] | Listen to this part. | 听听这部分 |
| [10:30] | ♪ Soon a baby as cute as us ♪ | ♪ 很快像我们一样可爱的宝宝 ♪ |
| [10:33] | ♪ Will spring forth from Haley’s uterus ♪ | ♪ 会从海莉的子宫里出来 ♪ |
| [10:37] | I love it! | 我好喜欢 |
| [10:38] | She’s lying. She just wants us | 她在骗人 她就想我们赶快说 |
| [10:39] | to get it over with so her eczema will go away. | 这样她的湿疹就会消失 |
| [10:41] | I don’t have — Oh, my God! | 我才没有 天啊 |
| [10:44] | Okay, you got this. | 好 你记着 |
| [10:46] | You’re quicker than those things. | 你比那些东西速度更快 |
| [10:47] | – I doubt that. – You’re smarter. | -我很怀疑 -你更聪明 |
| [10:49] | I can’t make a web out of nothing. | 巧妇难为无米之炊 |
| [10:50] | – Plus, you got a weapon. – A leaf blower? | -你还有武器 -吹叶机吗 |
| [10:53] | Hey, that thing can blow a Pomeranian through a hedge. | 这家伙能把博美犬吹过篱笆 |
| [10:55] | Let’s just say little Mimi from next door | 这么说吧 隔壁的小咪咪 |
| [10:57] | won’t be visiting our lawn anymore. | 再不会来我们家草坪了 |
| [10:59] | Now hurry up before your mom gets back. | 趁你妈没回来 快点 |
| [11:02] | We’ll be in constant communication. | 我们保持联系 |
| [11:04] | Go. Go, go, go. | 快 快 快 |
| [11:06] | Keep your head on a swivel. | 保持警惕 |
| [11:08] | Head for my bathroom. Remember. | 去我的浴室 记住 |
| [11:11] | That spider can sense the subtlest sign of fear. | 那蜘蛛能觉察最微弱的恐惧 |
| [11:14] | Something just ran past my foot. | 有东西爬过了我的脚 |
| [11:21] | Damn it, the power’s out! | 我去 停电了 |
| [11:22] | Then so am I! | 我也要走了 |
| [11:24] | No! You just leveled the playing field. | 别啊 你们现在势均力敌了 |
| [11:26] | They have eight eyes. | 他们有四双眼睛 |
| [11:27] | You only have two. | 你只有一双 |
| [11:28] | You just took away their one advantage. | 停电的话它们唯一的优势也没啦 |
| [11:30] | What about their sac of poison? | 它们的毒液呢 |
| [11:36] | Okay, I’m in the bathroom. | 好 我到浴室了 |
| [11:37] | Good, good. The medication… | 很好 很好 药在 |
| [11:39] | is down below in the cabinet. | 底下的柜子里 |
| [11:41] | You want me to reach my hand | 你让我把手伸进 |
| [11:42] | into a dark, damp breeding ground? | 黑暗又潮湿的产卵区吗 |
| [11:44] | It’s all the way in the back on the far right. | 就在右后边 |
| [11:47] | Just feel around for the jar. | 用手摸着找那个罐子 |
| [11:48] | So, skitter my hand back and forth? | 所以还要来回移动我的手 |
| [11:50] | That’s basically a spider mating dance! | 这基本上就是蜘蛛求偶舞了 |
| [11:57] | Got it. | 拿到了 |
| [12:00] | Talk to me, over. | 回答我 完毕 |
| [12:04] | Manny! | 曼尼 |
| [12:07] | Not leaving! | 还不走 |
| [12:09] | Still shopping! | 还要买 |
| [12:11] | As if getting robbed wasn’t bad enough, | 被抢劫还不够惨似的 |
| [12:13] | now that we were hosting Christmas, | 现在让我们搞圣诞聚餐 |
| [12:14] | I had to get a new tree and gifts into the house | 我得在克莱尔回家前 把新的圣诞树 |
| [12:17] | before Claire got home. | 和礼物搬进家里来 |
| [12:18] | Fortunately, I had a copy of her gift list. | 幸好我还有一份她的礼物清单 |
| [12:20] | It was eerie how many of these events | 心里有点毛骨悚然 |
| [12:23] | were lining up with the plot of my children’s book in progress, | 这么多的事情都跟我正在写的童书情节重叠 |
| [12:25] | “The Realtor Who Saved Christmas.” | 我的书名叫《拯救圣诞的房产中介》 |
| [12:29] | – Hello? – Buddy, I need a favor. | -你好 -哥们儿 帮个忙 |
| [12:31] | Remember that polar bear wrapping paper | 还记得上次因为你数学太烂 |
| [12:32] | you made us buy so much of because you can’t do math? | 害我们买了好多的北极熊包装纸吗 |
| [12:35] | Grab a couple rolls of it, | 拿上几卷 |
| [12:36] | meet me out in front of the house in 20 minutes. | 20分钟后到家门外等我 |
| [12:38] | We’re all out. Mom used the last of it on this year’s gifts. | 都用完了 老妈用了最后一卷包今年的礼物 |
| [12:41] | Damn it! I need a bunch of it. Where am I supposed to f– | 该死 我需要很多 我要去哪… |
| [12:44] | ♪ Hallelujah ♪ | ♪ 哈利路亚 ♪ |
| [12:46] | ♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪ | ♪ 哈利路亚 哈利路亚 ♪ |
| [12:49] | All good, Luke. | 没事了 卢克 |
| [13:06] | Well, we got what we need. | 我们买到了我们要的东西 |
| [13:08] | I’m glad someone’s getting what they want this year. | 我很高兴有人今年终于得到了他想要的 |
| [13:10] | You know what? Here, take my phone. | 这样吧 我的手机给你 |
| [13:11] | If you can get through a day without losing it, it’s yours. | 如果你一天内没搞丢 手机就归你了 |
| [13:20] | You must’ve run through some hairspray. | 你肯定是踩到什么发胶上了 |
| [13:22] | Your boots are like flypaper. | 你的靴子现在跟捕蝇纸一样 |
| [13:24] | That’s why that spray was banned. | 所以那款胶才被禁用啊 |
| [13:25] | Birds were flying over the factory | 小鸟们飞过发胶工厂 |
| [13:26] | and getting stuck together. | 然后就会黏到一起 |
| [13:29] | Hey, wait, wait a second. Wait a second. | 等等 等一下 等一下 |
| [13:31] | This is your medication? | 这就是你的药吗 |
| [13:33] | “Good Old Fashioned Elbow Grease?” | “怀旧派胳膊肘润滑霜” |
| [13:34] | I suffer from dry elbow. | 我的手肘干得厉害 |
| [13:36] | That’s what I risked my life for? | 我冒着生命危险就为了这个吗 |
| [13:38] | Supple elbows are heavily featured in every good power pose. | 光滑的手肘是所有爷们叉腰姿势的必备 |
| [13:42] | That’s how I got the cover to Closet World. | 我就是这样登上《衣柜世界》的封面 |
| [13:44] | I literally elbowed my way to the top. | 我真的是硬生生靠胳膊肘挤上去的 |
| [13:47] | I booked us a hotel. | 我订了个酒店 |
| [13:48] | Manny, you’re sharing a room with Joe. | 曼尼 你跟乔同住一间 |
| [13:52] | Fix that. | 这事你给我搞定 |
| [13:58] | What are you roasting on the space heater? | 你在暖气片上烤什么东西呢 |
| [14:00] | Oh, I threw those cards in the trash. | 我之前把卡片扔到垃圾桶里 |
| [14:01] | They got all soggy. | 结果都泡湿了 |
| [14:03] | Even Uncle Cam’s? | 连小卡舅舅的都是吗 |
| [14:04] | You have to save those for seven years, | 那些卡片你得留七年啊 |
| [14:06] | like tax returns. | 跟退税单一样 |
| [14:19] | Hello, Phil. | 你好呀 菲尔 |
| [14:21] | Oh, that’s right. | 没错 |
| [14:22] | The tree’s back where it belongs. | 圣诞树回归原位了 |
| [14:24] | You stole it?! | 是你偷的 |
| [14:25] | Oh, no, you did. | 不 是你偷的 |
| [14:26] | Just like you stole my family of plastic Thanksgiving turkeys, | 跟你以前偷了我的塑料感恩节火鸡家族 |
| [14:29] | my inflatable Easter bunny, | 我的充气复活节兔子 |
| [14:31] | and my Uncle Sam pinata, | 还有我的山姆大叔彩陶罐一样 |
| [14:33] | all for your open houses. | 都搬到你的房屋开放日去了 |
| [14:35] | Today was my chance | 今天是洗清 |
| [14:36] | to shed a very unfair reputation. | 我冤情的机会 |
| [14:39] | Claire — | 克莱尔 |
| [14:40] | I put two people in the hospital one time, | 我只不过害两个人进了医院一次 |
| [14:43] | and now I’m a Christmas ruiner. | 大家就把我当圣诞节杀手 |
| [14:45] | Fire! | 着火了 |
| [14:46] | Oh, my God! Get the extinguisher! | 我的天哪 去拿灭火器 |
| [14:48] | Aah! It’s Cam’s glitter card! I knew it! | 是小卡的闪粉贺卡 我就知道 |
| [14:51] | Stand back! | 后退 |
| [14:53] | The tree! | 树 |
| [14:56] | The gift | 礼物 |
| [14:57] | The — The — | 这个 那个 |
| [15:00] | It’s out! | 用完了 |
| [15:02] | This must be the one Luke and I used for our jet pack prototype. | 我和卢克做喷气背包时用的肯定是这灭火器 |
| [15:06] | You know, we’re being crazy. There is no perfect moment. | 是我们太傻了 根本就没什么完美的时间点 |
| [15:09] | We’re just going to walk in there like adults and tell them. | 我们就像大人一样上去知会一声就行了 |
| [15:20] | Honey… | 亲爱的 |
| [15:21] | It’s no use. | 没救了 |
| [15:22] | It’s over, Phil. | 一切都结束了 菲尔 |
| [15:24] | The house smells like smoke, | 这房子闻着一股烟味儿 |
| [15:25] | we have no tree | 我们没有圣诞树 |
| [15:26] | and nine scorched, yet soaking-wet gifts. | 还有九份烧焦又湿透的礼物 |
| [15:30] | Worst of all, I have to make Mitchell’s day | 最糟的是 米奇尔听了肯定幸灾乐祸 |
| [15:32] | by telling him we’re moving the party to his house | 因为我得告诉他把聚会改到他家 |
| [15:34] | and I’m on permanent host probation forever. | 而我永远不能再主办聚会了 |
| [15:39] | Who knows? | 谁知道呢 |
| [15:40] | Maybe in a couple years they’ll toss me a pity holiday — | 或许几年后他们会丢给我一个小破节日 |
| [15:44] | “Welcome to my non-alcoholic Earth Day brunch.” | “欢迎来到我的无酒精地球日早午餐” |
| [15:50] | In brighter news, | 好消息是 |
| [15:51] | I am getting on a prop plane in a couple hours. | 几小时后我就要坐上螺旋桨飞机了 |
| [15:54] | Bermuda Triangle’s still a thing, right? | 现在还有百慕大三角这回事吧 |
| [15:56] | Claire. | 克莱尔 |
| [15:57] | Honey, I just can’t right now. | 亲爱的 我现在应付不来 |
| [15:59] | I’m not in the mood for — | 我没心情 |
| [16:04] | How? | 怎么做到的 |
| [16:04] | Merry Christmas from me. | 我送你的圣诞快乐 |
| [16:06] | Did you sneak out earlier | 你之前偷偷跑出去 |
| [16:08] | and buy all this stuff to cover your tracks? | 买了这些东西掩盖你的行为吗 |
| [16:10] | Or you can choose to believe it’s a Christmas miracle. | 或者你可以选择相信这是圣诞奇迹 |
| [16:13] | I choose miracle. | 我选择奇迹 |
| [16:17] | Happy holidays! | 节日快乐 |
| [16:20] | Thank you for taking over. | 谢谢你们接手 |
| [16:22] | You saved the day! Merry Christmas. | 你拯救了一切 圣诞快乐 |
| [16:24] | Well, you know, it’s kind of what I do. | 你知道的 我就是这么厉害 |
| [16:26] | Come on, drinks in the kitchen. | 快来 饮料在厨房 |
| [16:27] | – Yay! All right! – All right! | -太好了 -太好了 |
| [16:31] | Ooh, Manny, what’s up with the noggin bump? | 曼尼 你头上怎么起了个小包 |
| [16:34] | What? Where? | 什么 哪 |
| [16:35] | Oh, no. That looks like a banana spider bite! | 不 看起来像是香蕉蜘蛛咬的 |
| [16:38] | It’s not a bite, he bumped his head. | 不是咬的 他撞到了头 |
| [16:39] | No, that looks like a bite. | 不 看起来像被咬了 |
| [16:40] | My sister got bit by a Missouri Silo Spider — | 我姐姐被密苏里青贮窖蜘蛛咬过 |
| [16:43] | lost a toe. | 失去了一根脚趾 |
| [16:44] | Happy ending — she was born with eleven. | 但结局很好 她天生有十一根脚趾 |
| [16:47] | Manny, we need to get that checked. | 曼尼 我们得去医院检查 |
| [16:48] | There is an antidote, | 可以用解毒剂 |
| [16:50] | but if you have never been bitten by the spider, | 但假如你以前从没被这种蜘蛛咬过 |
| [16:52] | it might kill you. | 可能是致命的 |
| [16:53] | – Let’s go to the car. – I — Jay. | -我们上车去 -杰 |
| [16:55] | Stop! He wasn’t bitten. | 停下 他没被咬 |
| [16:57] | He bumped his head when he went back in the house | 他撞到了头 他之前回到房子里去 |
| [16:58] | to grab my…medication. | 帮我拿 药 |
| [17:01] | What medication? | 什么药 |
| [17:02] | Oh, my God, Dad, are you okay? | 我的天 爸 你还好吗 |
| [17:04] | We’re gonna get through this, buddy. | 我们会挺过去的 伙计 |
| [17:06] | It’s an elbow cream that I secretly use | 是一种胳膊肘霜 每天晚上 |
| [17:08] | every night after Gloria falls asleep. | 我都在歌洛莉亚睡着后偷偷用 |
| [17:10] | You sent our son into the nest of a deadly spider | 你让咱儿子进入致命毒蛛的巢穴 |
| [17:14] | for a beauty cream? | 就为了拿润肤霜 |
| [17:15] | It’s a medicine | 这是药 |
| [17:16] | that treats the heartbreaking condition of dry elbow! | 用来治疗令人心碎的干胳膊肘症 |
| [17:20] | It requires a veterinarian’s prescription | 这是兽医才能开的处方药 |
| [17:23] | because it’s primarily used on rhinos and elephants. | 因为原本是给犀牛和大象用的 |
| [17:27] | I see on our march to become a perfect society, | 看来尽管我们正朝完美社会大步前进 |
| [17:30] | elbow shaming is still allowed. | 人们仍旧允许胳膊肘羞辱 |
| [17:32] | I get a little dry sometimes. | 我胳膊肘有时也有点干 |
| [17:34] | Hey! You’re just as much a person as everybody else. | 你要记住你并不比别人差在哪里 |
| [17:37] | I can’t believe that you’re so vain that you — | 我不敢相信你虚荣到这个地步 |
| [17:39] | Wait, is that my Christmas card | 等等 你鞋底上粘的 |
| [17:40] | stuck on the bottom of your shoe? | 是我的圣诞贺卡吗 |
| [17:43] | And why-why is it singed? | 为什么被烧焦了 |
| [17:45] | Ugh, you got to be less about the cards. | 你不能再这么看重贺卡了 |
| [17:47] | We all think it. | 我们都这么想 |
| [17:48] | Didn’t you empty a can of powerful hairspray in the bathroom? | 你不是在卫生间喷光了一罐强力发胶吗 |
| [17:52] | And did you go in there, too? | 你也去卫生间了吗 |
| [17:55] | Fine! I needed something, okay? | 好吧 我得拿点东西 行了吧 |
| [17:59] | But at least I went in myself. | 但至少我是自己去拿的 |
| [18:01] | After you offered me $20 and I said no. | 因为你用二十美元雇我我没答应 |
| [18:05] | Some of us can’t be bought. | 我们中有些人是不会被收买的 |
| [18:07] | What did you need? | 你要拿什么 |
| [18:08] | Whatever it is, we’re gonna get through this. | 无论是什么 我们会一起陪你挺过去 |
| [18:11] | A night guard. | 防磨牙牙套 |
| [18:13] | I didn’t want to tell you, but every night, | 我不想告诉你 但每天晚上 |
| [18:15] | I wait for you to fall asleep, so I put it on. | 我都等你睡着后戴上 |
| [18:18] | It’s so unattractive. | 太没有吸引力了 |
| [18:20] | That’s it? | 就这样 |
| [18:21] | Ith not thex-thee. I look hideouth! | 太不性感了 我看起来好丑 |
| [18:24] | Oh, that really humanizes her. | 终于从神性中蹦出点人味儿了 |
| [18:27] | I don’t care for it. | 我不喜欢 |
| [18:29] | Okay, one of my teeth is loose. | 我的一颗牙都松了 |
| [18:31] | I am begging you to tell them. | 我求求你去告诉他们吧 |
| [18:33] | That’s what this is. | 这就是我打扮的目的啊 |
| [18:34] | I’m coming down the chimney as Santa, | 我打扮成圣诞老人并从烟囱落下 |
| [18:36] | delighting Joe and Cal. | 讨乔与卡尔开心 |
| [18:37] | Mom will see how good he is with kids | 妈能看到他跟孩子多投缘 |
| [18:39] | and then be super chill with us being pregnant. | 就会对我怀孕的事放心许多 |
| [18:45] | I’m stuck. | 我卡住了 |
| [18:46] | Okay, everybody, come on, picture time! | 好啦 大家都进来吧 全家福时间到 |
| [18:48] | In front of the tree, let’s go. | 到圣诞树前集合 来吧 |
| [18:49] | Oh, God. Just be quiet! | 天啊 你别出声 |
| [18:50] | There you are. Okay, where’s Dylan? | 你在这里啊 对了 迪兰呢 |
| [18:52] | Aww, Mom. | 妈 你真有心 |
| [18:53] | What? We need somebody to take the picture. | 想什么呢 我们需要有人帮忙拍照啊 |
| [18:56] | Harsh. | 太狠心了 |
| [18:57] | What was that? | 什么声音 |
| [18:59] | Don’t we always have the fire on? | 我们每年不是都会生火的吗 |
| [19:01] | – No! – I’m sure we do. | -没有 -我挺确定有 |
| [19:02] | Last year we used it to finish cooking Claire’s turkey pieces. | 我们去年用那火把克莱尔没熟的火鸡烤熟 |
| [19:05] | Jay, go turn it on. | 杰 去生火 |
| [19:07] | Wait! Wait, wait, wait. | 等等 等等 等等 |
| [19:08] | Every– Everybody 12 and under, out. | 各位… 各位12岁以下小朋友先离开下 |
| [19:10] | What? Honey, what’s going on? | 什么 亲爱的 这是怎么了 |
| [19:15] | Dylan’s stuck in the chimney. | 迪兰卡在烟囱里了 |
| [19:18] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [19:19] | He’s dressed up as Santa. | 他打扮成圣诞老人 |
| [19:20] | He was gonna hand presents out to the kids. | 想要从烟囱而降来给孩子发礼物 |
| [19:22] | Don’t tell them now. I want to be with you! | 别现在告诉他们啊 我想跟你一起公布 |
| [19:26] | Tell us what? | 告诉我们什么 |
| [19:27] | Nothing. It can wait. | 没什么 可以之后再说 |
| [19:28] | No, it can’t! Please! | 不能再等了 求求你 |
| [19:30] | My organs are shutting down! | 我的全身器官都要停止运作了 |
| [19:31] | Okay, fine. I… | 好吧 行 我… |
| [19:35] | We have an announcement. | 我们有个事情要宣布 |
| [19:39] | Dylan and I are having a baby. | 我跟迪兰要生宝宝了 |
| [19:44] | Are they smiling? | 他们表情笑了吗 |
| [19:45] | You’re pregnant? | 你怀孕了吗 |
| [19:47] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [19:49] | And w-we’re really happy about it. | 我们为此感到十分开心 |
| [19:52] | Why wouldn’t you be? | 怎么可能会不开心呢 |
| [19:56] | Mom? | 妈 你呢 |
| [19:57] | It’s — it’s a lot to process at once, and… | 这消息需要点时间消化 但… |
| [20:05] | A baby. Unbelievable! | 宝宝呢 太棒了 |
| [20:08] | – Congratulations! – Oh, my gosh! A baby! | -恭喜你们 -天啊 小宝宝呢 |
| [20:12] | Oh, God. | 天啊 |
| [20:13] | You handled that a lot better than I did back in the day. | 你处理的方式比我当年强多了 |
| [20:17] | Outside. On the inside, I’m you. | 表面而已 我的内心跟你一样 |
| [20:19] | Can somebody save my life? | 能来人救救我的命吗 |
| [20:21] | – Oh, Cam, grab a foot. – Yep. | -小卡 你抓一只脚 -好 |
| [20:24] | God, he’s really wedged in there. | 天啊 他真的卡得好死啊 |
| [20:26] | Ah, if only we had some kind of award-winning, | 如果我们能有某种得过奖的 |
| [20:27] | placenta-based lubricant. | 胎盘基底的润滑霜就好了 |
| [20:29] | Fine! | 行行行 |
| [20:30] | Here, Dylan, use a little bit of this. | 给 迪兰 你抹一点这个 |
| [20:32] | I can’t believe a little Dylan is gonna pop out of you! | 真不敢相信要有个小迪兰从你身体蹦出 |
| [20:35] | What would that even look like? | 会是什么样子啊 |
| [20:42] | Everybody come on in for the picture! | 大家都过来拍全家福吧 |
| [20:44] | I’ll set the timer. | 我设置个定时拍照 |
| [20:45] | This is all gonna work out, right? | 一切都会船到桥头自然直吧 |
| [20:47] | Definitely. Yeah. | 肯定会啦 |
| [20:49] | Hang on. Let me get my elbows ready. | 稍等 我得露出我的美肘 |
| [20:51] | Okay, everybody smile, say “Baby!” | 大家露出笑容 喊”宝宝” |
| [20:54] | Baby! | 宝宝 |
| [21:00] | ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly, ♪ | ♪ 神圣冬青装饰着大厅 ♪ |
| [21:04] | ♪ Tis the season to be jolly, ♪ | ♪ 这是个欢乐的季节 ♪ |
| [21:08] | ♪ Don we now our gay apparel, ♪ | ♪ 穿上我们的喜乐[基]衣裳 ♪ |
| [21:13] | ♪ Did we leave the kids at Claire’s house? ♪ | ♪ 我们是不是把孩子们忘在卡莱尔家 ♪ |
| [21:17] | ♪ Lily really needs a cellphone. ♪ | ♪ 真的该给莉莉买手机了 ♪ |
| [21:22] | ♪ Follow me in merry measure, ♪ | ♪ 跟着我踏着快乐的步伐 ♪ |