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摩登家庭(Modern Family)第11季第8集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月13日 By jubentaici_movie_user 摩登家庭(Modern Family)第11季第8集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
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S01E02
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时间 英文 中文
[00:03] Honey, what are you doing? 亲爱的 你在干什么
[00:05] I just saw this incredible telekinesis video. 我看了一个超赞的有关念力的视频
[00:07] I’m trying to make a piece of bacon levitate. 我在努力让一片培根浮在空中
[00:09] Don’t you have to, I don’t know, work? 话说 你不需要工作吗
[00:11] Are you saying it’ll never happen? 你是说我永远不可能成功吗
[00:12] Is there perhaps a more colorful way of saying that? 就没有更委婉美好的说法吗
[00:15] I know you’re trying to get me to say 我知道你是想让我说
[00:17] “It’ll happen when pigs fly.” “等猪飞起来也就成了”
[00:18] That counts. 这也算吧
[00:20] What? 什么
[00:22] Oh, my gosh! 天啊
[00:23] Good morning, Earth mates. 早上好 地球同胞们
[00:25] Morning, Farr– 早上好 法…
[00:26] Oh, my lower back is killing me. 我的下背部疼死了
[00:29] Has anyone seen my healing crystal? 有谁看到我的治愈水晶了吗
[00:32] That may be the only thing of yours we haven’t seen. 那可能是我们唯一没见到的你的”东西”了
[00:34] Dylan’s mom, Farrah, came to see the babies, 迪兰的妈妈法拉过来看宝宝
[00:37] and then she found out that her polyamorous quad 然后她发现她的四角关系
[00:39] was downgraded to a triad. 被降格成了三角关系
[00:41] Now we’re stuck with her. 现在我们摊上她甩不掉了
[00:43] Polyamory. Can you imagine? 四角啊 浮想联翩 你能想象吗
[00:46] No. 不能
[00:49] She needs to go. 她必须赶紧滚
[01:07] Farrah! Farrah! 法拉 法拉
[01:09] Farrah! 法拉
[01:10] Do you have to do that right here? 你非得在这里干这个吗
[01:12] Oh, I am so sorry. 很抱歉
[01:14] I didn’t realize you wanted it 我没意识到你希望
[01:15] to keep flooding in the Philippines. 菲律宾一直洪水泛滥呢
[01:17] I don’t want it to keep flooding in the Philippines, Claire. 我不希望菲律宾一直洪水泛滥 克莱尔
[01:20] – It’s okay. I’ll just go in the other room. – Great. -没事 我换个房间 -好极了
[01:25] It’s Jerry. I can’t. 是杰瑞 我不能接
[01:27] It’s gonna be 45 minutes about how much he misses Mom 他肯定会唠叨45分钟 说他有多想念妈妈
[01:29] and then some overshare about their sex life. 然后透露过多关于他们性生活的私密内容
[01:32] Claire, he’s family. 克莱尔 他是家人
[01:35] Jerry. 杰瑞
[01:36] How are you? 你还好吗
[01:37] Yeah. 是啊
[01:38] No, I know. We miss her, too. 不 我懂 我们也很想她
[01:40] The babies are great. 宝宝们都很好
[01:42] Yeah, constantly exploring, 是啊 不断地在探索这个世界
[01:43] always sticking their fingers in everything. 总是把手指伸进各种地方
[01:47] Oh, whoa, yeah, what a — 天啊 那可真是…
[01:49] what a fun image of my late mother-in-law. 真是关于我已故岳母的有趣画面
[01:53] Really? 真的吗
[01:53] Let me just — Let me just check to see if we’re gonna be around. 我看看我们到时候在不在
[01:57] Jerry is following the butterfly migration to Mexico 杰瑞要沿着蝴蝶迁徙路线去墨西哥
[01:59] and wants to stop by tomorrow to say hi. 他想明天过来跟我们打个招呼
[02:02] No way. Make up an excuse. 不可能 赶快编个借口
[02:03] I’m a terrible liar. 我很不擅长撒谎
[02:04] Tough. 那可糟了
[02:05] The last thing we need around here is another hippie kook. 家里绝对不能再多个嬉皮怪人了
[02:09] Oh, it finally happened. I’m my father. 这一天终于来了 我变成跟我爸一样的人了
[02:12] Oh, my goddesses, there you are. 天啊 你在这儿啊
[02:15] Oh, Claire, would you be comfortable 克莱尔 你愿意
[02:17] rubbing this just above my buttocks 用这个在我的屁股上方来回擦几次吗
[02:19] while I offer up a Tibetan pain chant? 我要唱一曲西藏疼痛赞歌
[02:22] Doesn’t sound like me. 那听上去不像我会做的事
[02:23] But I might know someone who could help you out. 但我或许认识个人能帮到你
[02:28] Honestly, Jerry, it’s that, uh… 说实话 杰瑞 那个…
[02:31] Claire and I have — have hit a rough patch. 克莱尔和我最近很不顺
[02:33] She’s been huffing… cans of whipped cream. 她已经吃了…好几罐生奶油了
[02:37] I mean… 我是说…
[02:38] Help me. 快搭救我
[02:39] Underneath our bed 我们的床下
[02:40] looks like backstage at a pie-eating contest. 简直就像吃馅饼大赛的后台
[02:43] – Invite him here. – What? -邀请他过来 -什么
[02:45] Just get him here as fast as you can. Come on. 尽快把他弄过来 快点
[02:46] Uh, actually, Jerry, everything’s fine. 实际上 杰瑞 一切都好
[02:48] Claire just agreed to seek help. 克莱尔刚刚同意寻求医生的帮助了
[02:49] See you tomorrow. 明天见
[02:50] What the hell was that? 刚刚是怎么回事
[02:52] Jerry’s lonely, Farrah’s lonely, 杰瑞很寂寞 法拉也很寂寞
[02:53] they both glom onto us. 他们都来烦我们
[02:54] We set them up, they’ll glom onto each other, 我们给他们牵线搭桥 他们就可以烦彼此了
[02:57] and then she can bang his drum. 让他用”鼓棒”慢慢敲她的”鼓”吧
[02:58] My beautiful genius. 我美丽的天才
[03:00] Oop, sorry. Hold on. 抱歉 等一下
[03:05] Now I just have to find someone to set you up with. 现在只差帮你也找个奇葩搭伙了
[03:08] Oh, breaking out the good stuff, huh? 要把好东西拿来招待客人了吗
[03:10] Well, you know what? 你知道吗
[03:10] We’re finally close friends with a lesbian couple, 我们终于跟一对拉拉情侣成为密友了
[03:13] and — and I — I want them to feel as special to us 我希望她们能感到被我们珍惜
[03:16] as if they were real gays. 就好像她们是真正的同性恋一样
[03:17] Cam, they’re just as gay as we are. 小卡 她们”同”的程度跟我们一模一样
[03:19] Okay, hold on. One moment. 稍等 马上就好
[03:20] – Bink! – Okay, well, as I am. -好了 -跟我差不多 没你这么”同”
[03:23] Okay. 好了
[03:25] – Hi. – Oh, my gosh. -嗨 -天啊
[03:26] You guys are such a cute family. 你们真是超有爱的一家
[03:28] Oh, gosh, that picture. 天啊 那张照片
[03:29] That was taken at an amusement park. 那是在一个游乐场拍的
[03:31] That’s not the real Bigfoot. 那并非真正的大脚怪
[03:33] “Real Bigfoot,” “真正的大脚怪”
[03:34] – Oh, my God. You’re so funny. – Yeah. Sure. Okay. -天啊 你真是太搞笑了 -好吧 那行
[03:35] Let’s go with “He was making a joke.” 就当”他是在开玩笑”吧
[03:37] So, you guys, speaking of families… 话说 说到家庭…
[03:39] We’re thinking of starting one of our own. 我们也想组建个家庭
[03:41] – Amazing. – Congratulations. -太棒了 -恭喜
[03:42] Oh, how are you gonna do it? What’s the plan? 你们打算怎么做 有什么计划
[03:44] Actually, we wanted to ask you something about that. 实际上 我们正想找你们取取”经”呢
[03:47] Eh, there comes a point in every gay man’s life 每个基佬人生中的某一刻
[03:49] when a lesbian couple asks him for his sperm. 都会遇到拉拉妇妇向他寻求精子
[03:52] – Unless you’re Mitchell and me. – Yeah. -除非你是米奇和我 -是啊
[03:54] All of our friends have been asked, 我们所有的朋友们都被人找过
[03:55] while we have been cruelly overlooked. 而我们却被残忍地无视了
[03:57] It’s painful. 心好痛
[03:58] It’s like not getting picked to play kickball. 那就像未被选中去玩踢球
[04:00] Well, that never happened to me. 我倒是从没遇到过这种情况
[04:02] I was my kickball team’s captain. 我曾是踢球队的队长
[04:04] Well, only after our star broke his leg and had to be put down. 不过那是在大球星伤了腿 不得不被安乐死后
[04:08] – He was a — – A mule. -它是… -一头驴子
[04:10] From a mile away. 早猜到了
[04:12] Go ahead. Ask us anything. 来吧 想问什么都行
[04:13] Well, you know we think the world of you guys. 你知道我们对你们的评价很高
[04:15] – Yes? – And we, you. -是吗 -我们对你们也一样
[04:17] First of all, 首先
[04:18] would you judge us if we didn’t adopt? 如果我们不领养 你们会对我们有看法吗
[04:19] Is that selfish? 那很自私吗
[04:20] – Um, no. – No. -不会 -当然不会
[04:22] Oh, that’s such a relief. 真让人松了一口气
[04:24] Now, the next step 接下来的一步
[04:25] is finding someone who can — 就是找一个…
[04:27] Donate? 捐精的人
[04:28] Yes. 没错
[04:29] You know, we don’t want anyone involved financially or otherwise, 我们不希望跟对方有经济上或别的牵扯
[04:31] so we were just thinking of going to the sperm bank. 所以我们打算去找精子银行
[04:34] That’s a good option, 那是个好的选择
[04:34] but make sure the janitors are handsome, 但一定要确保门卫很帅
[04:36] because, you know, they have the keys to everything. 因为他们有进入任何地方的钥匙
[04:38] Well, we also thought about asking my brother. 我们还考虑过用我哥哥的精子
[04:40] Oh, you don’t want to go down that road. 你不会想选择这个方向的
[04:41] It’s too complicated. 太复杂了
[04:43] “My daddy, my uncle, my daddy, my uncle.” “是爸爸 又是舅舅 是爸爸 又是舅舅”
[04:45] It’s “Chinatown.” 简直是电影《唐人街》的翻版
[04:46] Yeah, you want someone that — 没错 你们最好找一个
[04:47] you know, with a little distance, 不那么亲近的人
[04:48] that you know and — and trust. 你们认识 且熟悉
[04:50] Who’s attractive and healthy. 长得帅气 身体健康
[04:52] And who hasn’t had mental illness in their family 家族里至少一代半
[04:53] in at least a generation and a half. 没有精神疾病
[04:56] Well, that’s the dream. 那真如美梦一般
[04:57] Well, dreams can come true. 美梦也是可以成真的
[05:00] Oh, my God. Thank you, guys. 天啊 谢谢你们
[05:01] No, thank you. 不 是谢谢你们
[05:03] If you think of someone, will you let us know? 如果你们想到了合适的人 能告诉我们一声吗
[05:08] – Lesbians. – Lesbians. -死拉拉 -死拉拉
[05:10] Here’s your cappuccino. 这是你的卡布奇诺
[05:11] None for me. 我就不喝了
[05:12] I don’t need to be sharp to experience 我不需要精神抖擞地体会
[05:14] the empty void that is life without Sherry Shaker. 生活没有雪莉·桃久奇后的空虚
[05:17] What are these little drawings in the milk? 牛奶里拉的这画是什么
[05:19] That’s me staring out a window. 是我凭窗远眺的画面
[05:21] I made the stars with my tears. 那些星星是用我的眼泪做的
[05:23] Ay, papi, if you can survive me driving three blocks 宝贝 如果你能够在我开了三个街区后
[05:26] with you on the roof of my car, 才发现你在我车顶且活下来
[05:28] you can survive this. 那这次你也能撑过去
[05:29] When did that happen? 那是几时发生的
[05:30] It wasn’t gonna work out with Sherry anyway. 你跟雪莉本来就不会有好结果
[05:32] She’s Canadian. 她是加拿大人
[05:33] They have ducks on their money. 他们钱币上印着鸭子
[05:35] They sell milk in a bag. 牛奶装在袋子里卖
[05:37] I’ll be in my room if anyone needs me. 有需要再来我房间找我吧
[05:39] Who am I kidding? No one needs me. 我骗谁呢 根本没人需要我
[05:41] Ay, papi, these things have a way of working out. 宝贝 失恋这种事会自己拨乱反正的
[05:44] I promise. 我保证
[05:46] You promise? 你保证
[05:47] What did you do? 你干了什么好事
[05:49] I called in a favor. 我找了人帮忙
[05:52] Luke! 卢克
[05:53] Again? I thought we were even. 又来 我们不是扯平了吗
[05:55] I need you to do something for Manny. 我要你为曼尼做一件事
[05:57] It’ll mean the world to him. 那对他非常重要
[05:58] Okay, I guess. 行吧
[05:59] I want you to go to Sherry’s improv show, 我要你去雪莉的即兴表演
[06:01] talk him up to her. 对她说曼尼的好话
[06:03] I want her to regret breaking up with him. 我要她后悔跟他分手了
[06:05] No. Not that. 不 绝对不行
[06:06] Anything but improv. 唯独即兴表演不行
[06:08] Improv is no different than getting waterboarded. 即兴表演和被施水刑没什么区别
[06:10] Just stay calm, 你只要保持冷静
[06:11] go to a pleasant place in your mind, 心里想着让你快乐的地方
[06:13] and remember that you’re not actually dying. 并且谨记你不是真的快死了
[06:15] Fine. I’ll do it. 好吧 我去
[06:17] Good boy. 乖孩子
[06:19] Go back to sleep. 继续睡吧
[06:20] Why’d you bring a crowbar? 你为什么带撬棍来
[06:22] No reason. 没原因呀
[06:24] Gloria, we should not be involved. 歌洛莉亚 我们不该插手
[06:26] You know what my dad always said to me 你知道我每次失意时
[06:27] every time I was down? 我爸都对我说什么吗
[06:29] Nothing. 什么都不说
[06:30] I learned to figure everything out on my own. 我学会独自解决所有问题
[06:32] This is your least attractive quality. 这是你最缺乏魅力的特质
[06:35] Where is your empathy? 你的同理心呢
[06:36] I have empathy. 我有同理心啊
[06:38] That’s the one where you care about people, right? 就是关心在乎别人的意思 对吧
[06:40] You don’t go out of your way for anyone. 你不愿意为任何人付出
[06:43] Yes, I do. 我愿意啊
[06:45] You remember that little valet at the club? 你记得俱乐部那个泊车小弟吗
[06:47] If I hadn’t got him fired, 如果我没有害他被炒鱿鱼
[06:48] he’d still be moving everybody’s seats up. 他现在还在帮人移座椅靠背呢
[06:51] Okay, here we go. 来啦
[06:53] Some apricot jam from an old family recipe. 家传秘方的杏子酱
[06:56] Not that you would be interested in any of my family recipes. 虽然你们对我的”家传秘方”不会有兴趣
[06:59] Is everything okay? 出什么事了吗
[07:00] Uh — Uh — Why don’t you want us to be your donor? 你们为什么不想选我们当捐精者
[07:02] It’s okay. Just say it. 没关系 直说了吧
[07:04] – You’re put off by my red hair. – Or is it his freckles? -你们反感我的红发 -还是讨厌他的雀斑
[07:06] – Or my tendency to burn. – Or is it his — -还是因为我容易晒伤 -或是因为他的…
[07:08] – Can this one please be about you? – Yeah, yeah. -你就不能说个你的缺点吗 -行吧
[07:09] Wait, are you saying that you would donate for us? 等等 你们意思是愿意捐精给我们吗
[07:11] Honestly, we would love that, 老实说 我们很希望这样
[07:13] but we were afraid to put you on the spot, 但又怕让你们为难
[07:15] and we didn’t think you’d say yes. 而且我们以为你们不会答应
[07:16] – Oh — Well, of — of course we’d say yes! – We adore you! -我们当然会答应啊 -我们很喜欢你们
[07:19] Oh! Molly, I think we just found our daddy. 莫莉 我们好像找到孩子的爸爸了
[07:21] – Oh, my God. – Okay. -天啊 -太好了
[07:24] Okay, so, which one of us do you want? 那你们想要我们中的哪一个
[07:25] I don’t know. We haven’t even had a chance 我不知道 我们都还没机会
[07:26] – to think about it. – Yeah. -考虑这个 -是啊
[07:27] Well, would it be helpful if we, you know, walked around 要不要我们绕场一圈
[07:29] so you could take us in from shoulder to shank? 让你们欣赏一下我们 从肩部到小腿
[07:32] It’s not the county fair. 这又不是在县集市卖猪
[07:34] Alright, well, maybe we’ll just go outside 好吧 那要不我们出去外面
[07:35] and, I don’t know, kick something? 踢点什么 看看腿劲儿
[07:37] Or — Or we could do a puzzle? 或者我们比赛拼拼图
[07:38] Or we could spell Connecticut? 或是看谁会拼写”康涅狄格州”
[07:40] Why don’t you guys just decide? 不如你们俩决定吧
[07:41] We’re — We’re happy either way. 我们要哪个都行
[07:43] Shouldn’t be a problem. 应该没问题
[07:49] Oh, good, you’re both here. 很好 你们俩都在家
[07:51] Listen, I was thinking about yesterday, 听着 我思考了昨天的事
[07:53] how upset you are, 你很难过
[07:54] and how you say I don’t care about people’s feelings, 你也说我不关心别人的感受
[07:55] so check this out. 所以看好了
[07:57] Brandi, get in here. 布兰蒂 进来吧
[07:58] I’m not done with my cigarette! 我还没抽完烟
[08:00] What did you do? 你干了什么好事
[08:01] I was trying to figure a way 我之前一直在想
[08:02] how to help Manny to move on, 如何能帮曼尼走出失恋阴影
[08:04] and all of a sudden, I met this little angel. 突然之间 我就遇到了这位小天使
[08:06] Brandi? 白兰蒂
[08:07] Hold on! 等等啦
[08:07] The best part’s right at the filter! 靠近滤嘴那部分才最够味儿啊
[08:10] You’re gonna love her. 你们会喜欢她的
[08:11] She runs towels at the car wash. 她在洗车店负责管理抹布
[08:13] – Why did you encourage this? – N– -你为什么支持他乱来 -我没…
[08:14] Hey, now, why settle for Sherry 明明还有”白兰地”
[08:15] when you can have a little Brandi? 何必单恋”雪莉酒”
[08:17] I’ll admit, that’s good. 我承认 这双关挺机智
[08:19] Holy 我勒个大操
[08:23] This house! 这房子太屌了
[08:24] So, this is how come you can afford the lava wax. 难怪你能付得起火山岩打蜡
[08:27] Brandi, this is my wife, Gloria, 白兰蒂 这是我妻子歌洛莉亚
[08:29] and this stud is my son, Manny. 这猛男是我儿子曼尼
[08:31] Brandi, I’m sure you’re very nice, 白兰蒂 你一定是个好女孩
[08:33] but I’m dealing with losing the love of my life, 但我才刚失去一生挚爱 还没走出来
[08:35] and I just need some time. 我还需要点时间
[08:38] I know what you’re going through, honey. 我懂你现在的心情 亲
[08:40] My man saw “Free Solo” 我男人看了《徒手攀岩》电影
[08:42] and tried to scale the local bank. 就决定去攀登本地银行这座高山
[08:44] He died doing what he loved — 他为做他最热爱的事而死
[08:46] daring the cops to shoot him. 就是挑衅警察敢不敢开枪打他
[08:47] Jay, should I scream at you here, 杰 我是在这里臭骂你呢
[08:49] or should we do it in the kitchen? 还是去厨房臭骂你
[08:50] I could go for a little snack. 我正好想吃点零食啦
[08:52] Uh, listen, you guys get to know each other. 听着 你们先彼此熟悉一下
[08:53] Manny, offer her a drink at the bar. 曼尼 去吧台给她调杯饮料
[08:55] You got anything with cinnamon? 有含肉桂的吗
[08:56] I’m not particular. 我这人不挑 什么都行
[08:58] What were you thinking 你想什么呢
[08:59] bringing a girl like that here? 居然带这种女孩来家里
[09:01] What are you talking about? 你说什么胡话呢
[09:02] Brandi’s a ton of fun. 白兰蒂可有意思了
[09:03] Oh, sure, maybe you don’t bring her home to Mom. 当然了 也许她不是带回家见妈妈的类型
[09:05] That’s literally what you did. 你不就是带她回家见妈了吗
[09:08] I hope that that’s her parole officer. 希望敲门的是她的假释官
[09:13] Ah, Luke! 卢克
[09:15] What a surprise! 真是惊喜耶
[09:18] How did your talk with Sherry go? 你和雪莉谈得怎么样
[09:20] Not well. 不太顺利
[09:21] What do you mean? 什么意思
[09:22] Did you mention to her that Manny was retweeted 你有没有告诉她《房产兄弟大挑战》其中一个兄弟
[09:24] by one of the Property Brothers? 转发了曼尼的推特
[09:26] Yeah, I brought that up. 有 我提了这事
[09:27] And what did she say? 她怎么说
[09:28] Uh, does she miss him? 她想念他吗
[09:29] Will she take him back? 她愿意和他复合吗
[09:31] – I don’t think so. – Why not? -我看不会了 -为什么
[09:33] Well, we kind of… 我们…
[09:36] kissed. 接吻了
[09:38] What? 什么
[09:39] Well, the Brandi plan’s 找白兰蒂来这招
[09:40] looking pretty good right now, huh? 现在看来很不错 对吧
[09:43] Hello, family. 家人们好啊
[09:45] Oh. Hi, Jerry. Welcome. How are you? 杰瑞 欢迎 你好吗
[09:48] Sorry. I would’ve knocked, but you know I abhor violence. 抱歉 我本想敲门的 但你们也知道我痛恨暴力
[09:51] Oh sorry, 抱歉
[09:52] I was grinding polenta for our lunch. 我午饭时磨杂粮煮粥来着
[09:54] My arm’s kinda tender. 所以胳膊有点酸痛
[09:55] Polenta elbow is a real thing. 真有”杂粮粥肘”这种病
[09:56] Marianne Williamson was the only candidate 玛丽安·威廉姆森是唯一一个
[09:58] with the guts to talk about it. 有勇气谈论此事的总统候选人
[10:00] So, Jer, how you doing? 杰瑞 你过得还好吗
[10:02] I’m hanging in there. 坚持挺住呗
[10:03] Very happy to see you both. 见到你们俩我很高兴
[10:04] But the truth is, Claire, in this light, 但事实就是 克莱尔 在这灯光下
[10:06] you’re reminding me so much of your mother. 你看起来真像你母亲
[10:07] – Well, it’s the hair. – Same neck. -是因为发型吧 -因为颈纹
[10:10] Oh, you must be Jerry. 你就是杰瑞吧
[10:12] I’m Dylan’s mom, Farrah. 我是迪兰的妈妈 法拉
[10:14] How wonderful to meet you. 很高兴认识你
[10:16] Full disclosure — I’m a hugger. 我就直说了 我喜欢拥抱
[10:17] I’m sorry, I’m not very comfortable with that, 抱歉 拥抱让我不自在
[10:20] because I’m a kisser. 因为我喜欢亲亲
[10:23] Oh, what a lovely necklace. 这项链真漂亮
[10:24] Well, thank you. 谢谢
[10:25] It was made from the wreckage of a Japanese whaling ship. 这是日本捕鲸船的残骸做的
[10:28] How can the same people that gave us the haiku 为世人献上俳句的民族
[10:30] want to hunt such a graceful creature? 居然忍心捕杀这么优雅的生灵
[10:31] Uh, well, I can guarantee 我可以保证
[10:32] that absolutely no vegetables were harmed 在制作这份沙拉的过程中
[10:35] in the making of this salad. 没有蔬菜受到伤害
[10:36] Actually, Claire, it’s been proven that plants feel pain. 克莱尔 其实科学已经证明植物也有痛觉
[10:38] Yes, they scream when you rip them from the ground. 是的 从地里拔出来时它们会惨叫
[10:41] Oh, um, then you’re gonna hate 那这些葡萄的遭遇
[10:43] what happened to these grapes. 肯定会让你们很痛心
[10:45] That’s okay. They’re drunk. 没关系 它们都醉了
[10:48] Well, it is such a nice day outside. 今天天气可真好
[10:51] Why don’t the two of you enjoy your wine in the backyard 不如你们两个去后院品酒
[10:53] while we finish setting up in here? 这里交给我们布置
[10:55] What a lovely idea. 多美好的想法
[10:56] Oh, Farrah, did you know 法拉 你知道吗
[10:58] that Jerry is following the butterfly migration? 杰瑞正在追随蝴蝶迁徙
[11:01] All the way to Méjico? 一直追随到墨西哥吗
[11:02] I’m gonna spend the winter and spring 整个冬天和春天
[11:03] hammock camping in the Sierra Chincua sanctuary. 我都会在钦夸山脉保护区吊床露营
[11:05] That is one of my favorite places on this Earth. 那是我在地球上最爱的地方之一
[11:08] – Oh, you’ve been there? – Not in ages, -你去过吗 -许久没去过了
[11:09] but I would love to visit in this life. 但我真想在这一世去看看
[11:14] This is going so much better than we even hoped! 进展得比我们希望的还顺利
[11:17] It’s so weird. Jerry has such a type. 太诡异了 杰瑞就喜欢那个类型的
[11:19] I mean, Farrah and my mom are the — 法拉和我妈简直
[11:22] My mom. She’s in the backyard. 我妈 她在后院
[11:24] Ohhhh, right. 对了
[11:26] Oh, God. 老天
[11:27] Um, I don’t know what happened. 我不知道是怎么回事
[11:29] It’s Dede. 是迪迪
[11:30] How did she get here? 她怎么会在这
[11:31] I thought she was at Mitchell’s house. 她不是在米奇尔家吗
[11:32] I don’t understand. 我没听懂
[11:34] My mom’s ashes are fused to the roots of the tree. 我妈的骨灰和树根融合在一起了
[11:38] Of course. 十分理解
[11:39] Dede, 迪迪
[11:40] I never would have flirted with another woman in front of you. 我永远不会当着你的面与其他女人调情
[11:43] Unless it was that kind of weekend, 除非是我们的开放关系周末
[11:45] like that time in Taos. 就像在陶斯那次
[11:46] Dede needs me. 迪迪需要我
[11:48] I shouldn’t go anywhere. 我哪也不该去
[11:50] But-But what-But what about the butterflies 可是你不去看蝴蝶了吗
[11:52] and Mejico? 还有墨西哥
[11:53] Claire, I can feel it. 克莱尔 我能感觉到
[11:55] Your mother is in pain right now. 你母亲现在很痛苦
[11:56] Are-Are we absolutely sure it’s the tree? 我们能确定那是树的痛苦吗
[11:59] Because I do have an eggplant parmesan under the broiler. 因为我有份奶酪茄子正在备受煎熬
[12:02] I don’t mean to overreact, 我不想小题大做
[12:03] but I think the situation may call for some throat singing. 但我想这种情况 我们有必要喉唱一曲
[12:13] Alright. Mitch. Cam. 开始吧 米奇 小卡
[12:16] – Okay, I’ll go first. – Okay. -好 我先说 -好
[12:17] – I’m tall. – Tall. -我长得高 -高
[12:18] I’m strong, 我很强壮
[12:19] and I have a Matt Damon nose. 我有马特·达蒙同款鼻子
[12:21] – Okay. – Okay. -得了吧 -那好
[12:23] Mitchell, quick — me or Matt Damon? 米奇尔 快说 是我还是马特·达蒙
[12:24] Don’t think, just answer. 别多想 快回答
[12:25] – Okay, I’ll give you that one. – Yeah. -好吧 这个给你写上 -当然
[12:27] Um, alright, now me. 好 到我了
[12:28] Perfect pitch. 完美音高
[12:30] Well, what this baby needs is rhythm. 这个宝宝需要的是节奏感
[12:33] And I’ve never had a cavity. 我一个龋齿都没有
[12:34] I-I have good penmanship. 我写字好看
[12:36] Well, I had an aunt that lived to 110, 我有个姨妈活到了110岁
[12:38] and she smoked a pipe every day. 她还每天抽烟斗
[12:40] – I’m responsible. – I’m nurturing. -我很负责 -我很会带孩子
[12:42] Okay. I’m nurturing, too. 我也很会带孩子
[12:43] When Lily was a baby, I sang her to sleep every night, 莉莉还是宝宝时 我每晚都唱歌哄她睡觉
[12:46] with perfect pitch. 用完美音高唱
[12:48] Well, I used to look at her through the window every morning 以前每天早上送她上学后
[12:50] when I would drop her off at school, 我都透过窗子看着她
[12:51] until the security guard took my picture. 直到保安拍了我的照片留证
[12:53] Okay, uh… you know what? 好吧 这样吧
[12:55] You-You be the donor. 由你来捐
[12:57] I don’t think that I can have a kid in the world 我觉得我做不到身为某个孩子的父亲
[12:59] and not be a part of their life. 却对孩子的生活不管不问
[13:00] Oh, Mitchell, I don’t think I can, either. 米奇尔 我觉得我也做不到
[13:01] It would kill me to have a little button-nose beauty out there 我的美鼻孩子成为史上第一个美式足球弃踢手
[13:04] kicking up a storm as the first female punter 或是第一个火箭舞蹈队男队员而名震天下
[13:06] or the first male Rockette. 而我却不能相认 我会难受死的
[13:08] We begged them. 还是我们求人家的
[13:09] We’re gonna look like such flakes. 我们会看起来特别不靠谱
[13:11] They’re gonna be heartbroken. How do we tell them? 他们会心碎的 我们该怎么告诉人家
[13:13] We’re just gonna have to be completely honest. 我们只能彻底坦白
[13:15] We could tell them the microwave’s been on the fritz 我们可以说微波炉出故障
[13:16] and we’re both sterile. 害我们不育了
[13:17] Great. That. Yeah. 很好 就这么说
[13:22] Okay. 好吧
[13:25] It’s us. 是我们
[13:26] What a surprise. 好惊喜
[13:27] Uh, honey? Mitch and Cam are here! 亲爱的 米奇和小卡来了
[13:29] Listen, we’re sorry for dropping in like this. 我们很抱歉这样冒昧上门
[13:31] – Uh, but there’s something we need to tell you. – Yeah. -但有些事我们得告诉你们 -是的
[13:34] What’s up? 你们好吗
[13:35] Okay, there-there’s no easy way to say this. 这件事真的很难开口
[13:37] Um…we’re just not comfortable donating sperm. 我们不太能接受捐精
[13:41] And-And– You know, listen, 听我们解释
[13:42] we were so flattered. 我们真的深感荣幸
[13:44] But I think we just got caught up in the moment. 但我们可能只是一时上头了
[13:47] Oh, we get it. 我们理解
[13:48] Yeah. No problem. 是的 没关系的
[13:49] – Oh, really? – It’s totally fine. -真的吗 -完全没关系
[13:51] Thank you so much for letting us know. 十分感谢你们过来通知我们
[13:52] You guys are the best. 你们人最好了
[13:53] Oh. Oh, yeah. 当然
[13:54] – Okay. – Hey, have a good one. -那好 -祝你们今天愉快
[13:55] – Sure. – Bye. Bye. -当然 -再见
[13:57] Wow, I-I can’t believe how well that went. 真不敢相信这么顺利
[13:59] Yeah, I know. I feel-I feel so much better. 是啊 我感觉好多了
[14:00] That was…so easy. 简直太顺利了
[14:02] Yeah. Yeah, like, really easy. 是啊 真的好顺利
[14:05] Wait, was it too easy? 等等 过于顺利了吗
[14:11] I got this. 交给我
[14:14] – It’s us again. – Yeah. -我们又回来了 -是啊
[14:16] Listen, um… what just happened? 刚才是怎么回事
[14:20] Because we just cratered your entire family planning, 因为我们刚刚破坏了你们的整个生育计划
[14:23] and all we get is a “Have a good one”? 而你们只说了句”祝我们今天愉快”
[14:25] You don’t seem too broken up about it. 你们好像一点也不难过
[14:27] No, no, we’re super-sad. 不 我们特别伤心
[14:30] We’re just lesbians. 我们拉拉就这样
[14:31] – Oh, of course. – Okay. That’s on us. -当然 -是我们不好
[14:34] – That is on… – Okay. -怪我们 -好了
[14:36] Who’s that? 是谁在笑
[14:37] – Campbell. – No, it’s not. -是坎贝尔 -才不是
[14:38] You’re the one with the masculine laugh. 你才是笑起来像男人的那个
[14:39] Yeah, and I’m-I’m suddenly aware 我也突然意识到
[14:41] that we’ve been talking outside for a long time. 我们站在门外聊了好久
[14:43] Do-Do you mind if we come in? 你介意我们进去坐坐吗
[14:44] Yeah, no, not at all, Mitch and Cam! 完全不介意 米奇和小卡
[14:46] Come on into the house! 快请进屋
[14:49] Hey, Campbell! 坎贝尔
[14:50] Who’s-Who-Who’s your hunk? 这位猛男是谁
[14:52] I’m Nathan. 我是内森
[14:54] Nathan. 内森
[14:55] Hello, Nathan. What is… 你好 内森 这是
[14:57] Champagne. What? Were you celebrating? 香槟 怎么 你们在庆祝什么吗
[14:58] With a man in possession of some pretty remarkable genetics. 和一个有着非凡基因的男人
[15:02] Oh, I get it. 我明白了
[15:03] That’s why you let us off the hook so easy. 所以我们放弃了你们也毫不在乎
[15:06] You were gonna replace us. 你们本来就不打算用我们了
[15:08] Okay, we’re sorry. 我们很抱歉
[15:09] Yes, he’s gonna donate. 是的 精子会由他来捐
[15:11] We did not plan this. We just met. 我们也不是计划好的 我们刚认识
[15:13] – You just met?! – Just met? -你们刚认识 -刚认识
[15:14] – Where? How? How? – When? How? -在哪 怎么认识的 -几点 怎么认识的
[15:16] He was our L-Lyft driver. 他是我们的滴滴司机
[15:18] Man, his car was really clean, 他的车非常干净
[15:19] he made excellent conversation. 他特别会聊天
[15:21] And I mean, look at him. 看看他啊
[15:22] You guys get it, right? 你们明白的 对吗
[15:23] That should be making babies. 这基因确实该广泛播种
[15:25] Look, at least we can tell our friends that we were asked. 至少我们能告诉朋友们 有人找过我们
[15:28] Yeah, and you know what? 是啊 你知道吗
[15:29] Hey, second place isn’t bad. 作为第二名也挺好的
[15:31] – Yeah. – Yeah. -是的 -没错
[15:32] Ooh, do you mind? 你介意吗
[15:33] Can we get a-a picture with you 我们可以跟你合个影吗
[15:34] just to show all of our friends what it took to beat us out? 让朋友看看 得多强大的对手才能打败我们
[15:36] – Sure. – Sorry. Thanks. -没问题 -麻烦了 谢谢
[15:38] – Okay. – Would it help if I took off my shirt? -来吧 -我脱掉上衣会不会更好一些
[15:40] – Oh, probably, yeah. – In so many ways. -应该吧 是啊 -好太多了
[15:42] Yes, it would. Here. 绝对能帮上忙 来吧
[15:43] – There is it. – Okay. There — -露出来啦 -秀出来了
[15:44] Wow. There…it is. 好货亮出来了
[15:46] Okay. 好的
[15:47] Why would you kiss Sherry? 你亲雪莉干嘛啊
[15:49] I didn’t mean for it to happen. 我也不是有心的
[15:50] I’m not surprised. 我一点都不意外
[15:51] I’ve seen you make out with a Mr. Potato Head. 我看你跟玩具土豆先生亲热过
[15:53] It was a Mrs. Potato Head. 是土豆太太好吗
[15:55] She had the bow and the girl lips. 她有蝴蝶结跟擦了口红的嘴唇
[15:57] I couldn’t talk to Sherry before the show, 表演开始前我没机会跟她说到话
[15:59] so I had to sit through it. 所以我只能坐等
[16:00] The first sketch was so bad, I tried to bail, 她的第一段演出烂透了 我本来想逃跑
[16:02] but they locked the doors. 但他们把出口都锁上了
[16:05] Then she walked on the stage — 当她再度走上台时
[16:07] or should I say, 或者我该说是
[16:08] the first octopus President walked on stage. 第一位章鱼总统走上台了
[16:11] Look. 快看
[16:12] She’s signing eight bills at once. 她能一次签署8条法案
[16:15] And I’ll never run out of ink. 而且我永远不会签到笔没”墨”
[16:18] Her performance was a Tour de France. 她的演出仿佛环法自行车赛
[16:20] She was like a hot, girl version of my dad. 她就像是火辣女版的我爸爸
[16:23] Afterwards, we kept talking, and…it just happened. 演出结束后 我们聊得很开心 然后就发生了
[16:27] I’m really sorry, 我真的很抱歉
[16:27] but I think I may have real feelings for her. 但我想我可能对她产生了感情
[16:30] Listen to me, you’re never going to see Sherry ever again. 听我说 你以后再也不许见她
[16:33] I have to tell Manny the truth. 我得跟曼尼坦白
[16:35] Don’t you dare. 你敢
[16:36] Tell me what? 坦白什么
[16:38] Manny, I’m sorry, but…I kissed Sherry. 曼尼 对不起 但我… 亲了雪莉
[16:42] I feel terrible about it. 我觉得很过意不去
[16:46] Are you okay? 你还好吗
[16:47] I will be. 我会的
[16:49] After I kick your ass! 等我把你打死我就舒坦了
[16:50] – Come on! – Oh, hell yeah! -给我过来 -赞啦
[16:52] Hold on, hold on! 等等 等等
[16:52] Manny, violence is never the answer. 曼尼 暴力永远不能解决问题
[16:54] Kid, you don’t know what you’re doing. 孩子 你不知道你这会造成什么后果
[16:55] Uh, yes, I do. 我当然知道
[16:56] I got a “Satisfactory” in Beginning Stage Combat. 我得初级武戏课可是拿了”尚可”
[16:58] And action! 开演
[17:00] – Come here, Luke. Luke! – No, easy, easy. -卢克 你过来 -别这样
[17:01] Whoa! Easy! 你别这样
[17:03] – Easy! – How could you?! -你冷静 -你怎么能这么对我
[17:04] – Of all the women! Come on, Luke! – No! No! No! No! -全天下那么多女人你偏去搞她 -停手停手停手
[17:07] Ah! No! 别打了
[17:08] Enough. 够了
[17:09] Now, listen, I’m sorry that you’re hurting so badly, 听我说 你很伤心我也很难过
[17:12] and I’m sorry that my plan to help you move on 我让你走出那段感情的计划很失败
[17:14] was a disaster. 我也很抱歉
[17:15] But you’re a good guy with a big heart, 但你是个有广阔胸襟的好男人
[17:17] and you’re gonna find the right person, 你会找到真命天女的
[17:18] I promise you. 我向你保证
[17:21] And you… it was big of you 而你呢 你勇敢
[17:23] to want to tell Manny the truth to his face. 跑来跟曼尼面对面坦白做得很棒
[17:25] – Thanks. – But you crossed a line. -谢谢 -但你越界了
[17:27] You put yourself in front of your family, 你只想到自己而辜负了家人
[17:29] and you hurt a guy who loves you like a brother. 你还伤了一个视你如手足的男人
[17:32] You disappointed the hell out of me. 你这么做让我非常失望
[17:36] I’m gonna ask you to leave. 我得请你离开了
[17:39] I’m sorry, Manny. 对不起 曼尼
[17:41] Sorry, papi. 别难过了 宝贝
[17:44] I think I need to be alone for a while. 我可能得麻烦你让我独处一会儿了
[17:47] I understand. 我理解
[17:48] Just remember, Manny, 曼尼 你要记得
[17:49] I’m there for you whenever there’s a rainy day. 当你碰到雨天时 我都愿意陪伴你
[17:52] ‘Cause we don’t work those, so… 因为那些日子不用工作 所以…
[17:56] You keep your chin up, kid. 孩子 你要挺起胸膛
[17:58] It’s gonna work out okay. 一切都会关关难过关关过
[18:01] I know. 我知道
[18:02] Thanks, Jay. 谢谢你 杰
[18:05] I’m so sorry that I told you that you didn’t care about other people. 对不起我之前说你从不在乎别人
[18:08] I care about other people. 我当然在乎别人啦
[18:09] I’m really very sensitive. 我内心也很敏感啊
[18:11] That’s great. 那很棒啊
[18:12] So, maybe tomorrow, you can take Joe 那或许明天你可以带乔
[18:14] to that little boy’s princess party. 去参加小男孩公主派对
[18:16] Little boy’s princess party? 小男孩公主派对吗
[18:19] Eh…I think it’s nice that he has the freedom 我觉得他也有自由
[18:21] to express himself that way. 去扮演任何喜欢的角色啊
[18:24] Pretty good, huh? 我很不错吧
[18:25] They want the parents to go dress up, too. 他们要求家长也得变装
[18:27] Okay, I’m out. 慢走不送
[18:29] 45 minutes of sitar, and nothing. 弹了45分钟的西塔琴还是没反应
[18:32] She can’t be reasoned with. 她这个人听不进别人的话
[18:34] That’s so Dede. 迪迪就是这种人
[18:35] She’s clearly still upset with us. 她很明显还在不爽我们
[18:37] Well, she does hold a grudge. 她的确是很记仇
[18:39] Phil. 菲尔
[18:40] Claire, could you try and reason with your mother? 克莱尔 能麻烦你帮忙跟你母亲谈谈吗
[18:43] What — Okay, Jerry, is it possible 什么… 好吧 杰瑞 有没有可能
[18:45] that you are projecting your guilt about moving on? 是你把放下她的罪恶感投射在这上面呢
[18:48] Because that’s not my mom over there. 因为那个才不是我妈妈呢
[18:51] I don’t mean to seem indelicate, 我不是有意说得那么直接
[18:52] but you sound a little crazy right now. 但感觉你现在有点在说疯话呢
[18:54] Please, talk to the tree. 拜托了 跟树谈谈吧
[18:57] Okay, um… 好吧
[19:01] Hey, uh, Mom? 你好啊 老妈
[19:04] So, uh…Jerry wants to go to Mexico for a year — 杰瑞想去墨西哥一年
[19:07] Four months! 就四个月
[19:09] Worth a shot. 我就试试 万一呢
[19:10] And he’s lonely, 他很孤单
[19:11] so he wants to take his new friend. 所以他想带上他的新朋友一起去
[19:16] What? 你说什么
[19:18] Wh– You’re… 什… 你…
[19:19] Really? You’re okay with it? 真的吗 你不介意啊
[19:21] She says “Have fun.” 她说”玩得愉快”
[19:23] How did she sound? 她是哪种语气
[19:24] Did she seem passive-aggressive? 语气会不会像说反话 绵里藏针
[19:26] Yeah, maybe you should double-check, Claire. 对啊 你最好再确认一次吧 克莱尔
[19:27] Great. Thank you, Phil. 真是太”谢谢”你了 菲尔
[19:30] Mom, after missing you a lot 妈 虽然非常想你
[19:34] and talking about very little else, 而且没有跟你聊过太多别的
[19:37] um, Jerry finally met someone. 但杰瑞遇到了新的对象了
[19:39] It’s — It’s actually Dylan’s Mom, Farrah, 这个人是迪兰的母亲 法拉
[19:43] and he wants to take her to Mexico. 杰瑞想带她去墨西哥玩
[19:48] She’s listening. Keep going. 她在听了 接着说
[19:50] Um…Jerry is worried that this would upset you, 杰瑞很担心这么做你会不高兴
[19:54] but I told him that you want him to be happy 但我说你会想看到他开心
[19:57] and to move on, right? 并放下过去往前走 对吧
[19:59] Please move, please move. 快动啊 快动啊
[20:03] Dede, does the rustling mean “Yes”? 迪迪 晃动是代表”同意”吗
[20:07] Thank you, Dede. 谢谢你 迪迪
[20:08] I will always love you. 我永远爱你
[20:11] I need some water. 我需要来点水
[20:12] – And let’s go rescue that eggplant. – Yes. -然后咱们去救那”茄子”吧 -没错
[20:17] That was crazy! 真的假的啊
[20:18] – Did you see that? – Hold on. -你看到了吗 -等等
[20:20] Your — Your mom wants to say something. 你… 你妈妈还想说点什么
[20:23] What? 什么
[20:24] “Hey, Claire Bear. “克莱尔小宝贝
[20:26] Maybe you should appreciate Phil’s magic more, 或许你应该多感激菲尔的魔术
[20:28] especially since he just solved your problem.” 尤其他刚刚救了你一命”
[20:31] I can’t believe it. You’re a genius. 真是不敢相信 你真是个天才
[20:32] Mm. Thank you. 谢谢你
[20:34] You’re welcome. 不客气
[20:35] They don’t call me Filament Dunphy for nothing. 人称我为”线王邓菲”可不是浪得虚名
[20:37] That is cute, 真有爱
[20:38] but you are still selling houses, right? 但你还是会继续卖房子的吧
[20:40] Oh, shoot, I have a showing in 20 minutes. 靠 我20分钟后得带人看房
[20:48] Love you. 爱你
[20:53] Oh, I guess I should be watering you more, huh? 看来我应该多给你浇水啊
[20:56] I’ve been busy. 我这阵子一直很忙
[20:57] You’re not even here, 你人都不在这
[20:58] and I feel like you’re judging me. 我都能感觉到你审视的目光
[20:59] Fine. I haven’t been busy. 行行行 我没有忙
[21:02] I miss you. 我很想你
[21:04] It’s probably why I didn’t want to see Jerry. 或许就是因为这样我才不想见到杰瑞
[21:06] He reminds me so much of you. 他好容易让我想起你
[21:08] It’s also why Farrah drives me nuts. 也正是为什么法拉总让我来火
[21:12] If I’m gonna have a kook in my house, 如果我想要家里有个怪人
[21:13] I’d want it to be you. 我宁愿要你
[21:16] Phil. 菲尔
[21:18] Phil, stop it. 菲尔 别闹了
[21:22] Shut up, Mom. I like this haircut. 老妈你闭嘴啦 我就喜欢这发型
摩登家庭

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