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好想做一次(Never Have I Ever)第3季第3集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月12日 By jubentaici_movie_user 好想做一次(Never Have I Ever)第3季第3集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
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S01E02
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S02E01
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S02E09
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S03E01
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S03E03
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S03E05
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S04E01
S04E02
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时间 英文 中文
[00:11] For as long as Devi could remember, 从德维记事起
[00:13] Valentine’s Day had been nothing but a humbling annual reminder 情人节只会让她自卑 每年都提醒着她
[00:17] that she was a stone-cold loser. 她是个凄凉的失败者
[00:20] You will always be my Valentine, kanna. 你永远都会是我的情人 宝贝
[00:26] As far as she was concerned, 对她来说
[00:28] this holiday sucked a fat one. 这是个糟透了的节日
[00:35] Whoops, sorry, little boy. I’m supposed to be next door. 抱歉 小男孩 这花应该是要送去隔壁的
[00:41] But today, Devi had a boyfriend, 但今天德维有男朋友了
[00:43] and Valentine’s Day was gonna frickin’ rule. 情人节一定会很美妙
[00:46] – Happy Valentine’s Day. – Hey. -情人节快乐 -嘿
[00:47] I’ve got a really romantic date planned for us tonight. 我为我们策划了非常浪漫的约会之夜
[00:50] – Ooh. – I Febrezed my futon and everything. 我往蒲团和所有东西上都喷了清新剂
[00:53] Put that in your vape pen and vape it, loser single girls. 接受现实吧 没人要的单身女孩儿
[00:57] All right. Well, I gotta grab some things before class, but I’ll see you later. 我上课前得去拿点东西 但晚点见
[01:00] Okay. 好
[01:03] Nothing was gonna ruin today. 没错 什么都不会毁了今天
[01:06] – Hey, what’s up? – Yo, what up, dude? -嘿 怎么样? -怎么样 朋友?
[01:08] Not even the fear that Devi may have inadvertently rekindled something 德维心中的恐惧也毁不了今天 她害怕自己可能不经意地
[01:12] between Paxton and his smoking hot ex. 重新点燃了 帕克斯顿和他那火辣前任之间的火花
[01:15] – Oh, Paxton, wait. Guess what? – Yep. 帕克斯顿 等等 你猜怎么着?
[01:17] You’re my perfect match. 你是我的绝配
[01:19] What are you talking about? What is that? Oh! 你在说什么? 那是什么?
[01:22] Happy Valentine’s. 情人节快乐
[01:23] Here’s your results from the student council’s 这是你昨天午餐时
[01:25] compatibility quiz you took yesterday at lunch. 做的配对测试的结果
[01:32] Oh God. 天啊
[01:33] Maybe there’s another Eric Perkins at this school. 也许学校里 还有另一位埃里克·珀金斯
[01:40] – No way, man. – Walk much? -不可能 兄弟 -经常走路吗?
[01:42] What? 看什么看?
[01:49] Valentine’s Day sucks! 情人节糟透了!
[01:51] I just don’t get how I, a person who’s dating the hottest boy in school, 我明明在跟学校里最帅的男生约会
[01:55] is most compatible with Eric. 却说我跟埃里克最配 我完全搞不明白
[01:57] Are you more mad that you got Eric, 让你更生气的是 你的配对结果是埃里克
[01:59] or that Haley got Paxton? 还是海莉跟帕克斯顿配上了?
[02:02] I’m happy that they’re friends again. 他们又成了朋友 我很高兴
[02:04] I just wish they weren’t such good friends. 我只是希望他们不要走得那么亲近
[02:06] You don’t have to worry about Haley. Paxton is super into you. 你不用担心海莉 帕克斯顿对你很着迷
[02:10] I know, but he and Haley have known each other forever, 我知道 但他和海莉是青梅竹马
[02:14] and they have had sex. 他们还上过床
[02:15] And now I’m picturing them having sex and… 现在我脑子里都是他们上床的场景
[02:17] Oh my God, I realized why the computer said they were a perfect match. 我的天 我明白为什么电脑 要说他们是完美的情侣
[02:21] Don’t read into it that much. 别过度解读
[02:22] It’s just a dumb quiz made by dumb teenagers in a dumb school. 这只是一所愚蠢学校里 愚蠢的青少年设计的愚蠢测试
[02:26] Hey, guys. 你们好啊
[02:28] Hi, Aneesa. 嗨 安妮莎
[02:31] This awkward hello is courtesy of the following interaction that has yet to be discussed. 这声招呼很尴尬 要怪就怪以下这场有待讨论的互动
[02:40] Um, did you just call this quiz dumb? 你们是说这份测试很蠢吗?
[02:43] It was actually developed by Nobel prize-winning scientists at MIT. 它实际上是由麻省理工大学 曾获得诺贝尔奖的科学家设计的
[02:46] Its accuracy is undisputed. 它的准确度无可争议
[02:48] So, educate yourselves. 你们该长长见识了
[02:51] Sorry, Jonah. 抱歉 乔纳
[02:56] I can’t believe I got Gears Brosnan. I didn’t even know he filled out a quiz. 不敢相信 我跟吉尔斯·布鲁斯南配上了 我甚至不知道他会填测试题
[03:00] – Who’d you guys get? – I got Trent. -你们和谁配上了? -我和特伦特
[03:02] Yeah, I got Ben. 我和本
[03:03] Oh wow, Ben. That’s so cool 哦 天啊 是本啊 那太棒了
[03:06] since he’s your boyfriend and all. 毕竟他是你的男朋友嘛
[03:09] Hey, Fab, do you feel weird today? 嘿 小法 你今天感觉奇怪吗?
[03:12] Why? Do I seem weird? Does it seem like something weird happened? 怎么?我看起来奇怪吗? 是不是发生了什么奇怪的事?
[03:14] No, I was just wondering ’cause, you know, it’s Valentine’s Day, 没有啊 我只是想问问 因为今天是情人节
[03:17] and you must miss Eve. 你肯定很想念伊芙
[03:21] Yeah, yeah, that’s… I do. I miss her. 是啊 我是不对劲 我很想她
[03:25] Speaking of relationships, 说到感情
[03:27] I don’t think all the couples here are gonna make it through Valentine’s. 我觉得这里肯定有情侣 过不了情人节这关的
[03:30] – What? – Why do you say that? -啊? -怎么这么说?
[03:31] Because I need to dump Trent. 因为我需要甩掉特伦特
[03:34] Wait, I thought things were going well. 等等 不是进展挺顺利的吗?
[03:36] I mean, it’s been fun. 我是说 是挺有趣的
[03:37] He’s just not very deep. 他只是有点肤浅
[03:39] Like, I’m a second away 我每时每刻
[03:41] from bursting into either song or tears at every moment of the day. 不是想放声高歌 就是想放声哭泣
[03:45] Shouldn’t I be with another artist or at least another Sagittarius? 我是不是应该找个艺术家谈恋爱 或至少找个射手座?
[03:50] Got you, babe. 我跟你配上了 宝贝
[03:51] Oh, hey. 你好啊
[03:52] Yeah, I got you too. 对 我也跟你配上了
[03:53] Wow, those MIT guys are good. 天啊 那些麻省理工的人真厉害
[03:57] I guess. 我想是吧
[03:58] But doesn’t this quiz feel kind of creepy? Like, real 1984 vibes. 但这测试不是有点令人毛骨悚然? 很像《1984》里会发生的事
[04:03] The Taylor Swift album? 泰勒·斯威夫特的专辑?
[04:04] No, Aneesa. 不是 安妮莎
[04:06] The book by George Orwell. 是乔治·奥威尔的书
[04:08] God, I’ve gotta get you a little library card, huh? 天啊 我得给你办张借书证
[04:13] I’d argue that 1989 has more literary relevance 我觉得《1989》比乔治·奥威尔的任何作品
[04:15] than anything George Orwell ever wrote. 都更具备文学关联性
[04:21] Is that true? I only listen to podcasts. 那是真的吗?我只听播客
[04:25] Dr. Vishwakumar, your next patient is here. 维什瓦库马尔医生 下一位病人到了
[04:30] Hi. Rhyah, what brings you in today? 你好啊 莱雅 你今天怎么来了?
[04:33] Oh, I just wanted to say hi. 我只是想来打个招呼
[04:35] Also, I have this tiny burning rash going up my arm, 我手臂上有个小疹子 挺疼的
[04:37] but I mostly just wanted to say hi. 但我更多只是想来打个招呼
[04:39] Okay, let me take a look. 行 我来看看
[04:41] – Okay. – How are things with you? -好 -你最近还好吗?
[04:43] – I’m good. How are you doing? – Good. Good, good. -我很好 你怎么样? -很好
[04:46] – Itchy? – Yeah. -痒吗? -痒
[04:47] – Kind of flaky? – Little bit. -有点脱皮? -一点点
[04:49] Mmm. Looks like tinea corporis. 看起来像体癣
[04:50] – Oh, what’s that? – It’s basically athlete’s foot. -是什么? -基本上就是脚癣
[04:53] Or in this case, we can call it athlete’s forearm. 你的情况可以叫前臂癣
[04:55] See, I knew my yoga studio wasn’t washing their mats properly. 你看 我就知道 瑜伽工作室没有好好清洗垫子
[04:59] I stayed late one time and watched them flip ’em over. 我有一次待到很晚 看到他们把垫子翻面就算了
[05:01] Don’t worry about it. It’s actually fairly common. 别担心 这其实很常见
[05:03] I’m just gonna write you a prescription for anti-fungal cream. 我给你开一支抗真菌药膏吧
[05:06] It should clear up in a few weeks. 几周后应该会消失
[05:07] Fungal infection on Valentine’s Day. Very sexy. 情人节感染了真菌 挺性感的
[05:10] Do you have any plans tonight? 你今晚有什么计划吗?
[05:12] Nalini had completely forgotten about Valentine’s Day. 娜里妮完全忘了情人节这回事
[05:15] She had always considered it a stupid holiday. 她一直认为这是个愚蠢的节日
[05:18] But now with Mohan gone, it felt different. 但现在莫汉不在了 感觉就不一样了
[05:21] No. 别
[05:23] Mohan, no. 莫汉 不要
[05:26] We agreed last year no Valentine’s Day gifts. 我们去年说好了不送情人节礼物的
[05:29] This is different. You’ll like it. 这件不一样 你会喜欢的
[05:32] I spent hardly any money. 我几乎没花钱
[05:44] You got me a bobblehead of you? 你送了我一个 以你为原型的摇头娃娃?
[05:47] Yeah. 对啊
[05:48] Now you can knock me around when I’m being hardheaded. 现在你可以在我死脑筋的时候 敲我的脑袋了
[05:52] Did you give yourself a stronger jaw? 你是把自己的下颌变得更分明了吗?
[05:55] Well… 这个嘛…
[05:56] Maybe. 也许吧
[06:06] Nope. 没有
[06:08] No Valentine’s Day plans 没有情人节计划
[06:10] other than tending to the many demanding people in my household 只是要照顾我家里 那些要求苛刻的人
[06:13] who drain me of my money and energy. 她们榨干了我的钱包和精力
[06:15] Well, you should still celebrate. 但你还是应该庆祝
[06:18] Hey, you need to carve out some fun time for you. 嘿 你需要为自己 腾出一些找乐子的时间
[06:22] Every day. 每天都需要
[06:24] I already do that for six hours every night when I’m asleep. 我每天晚上睡觉的六个小时 就挺快乐的
[06:28] That’s not what I mean. 我不是那个意思
[06:31] What are you doing tomorrow night? Let’s have a gals hang. 你明天晚上做什么? 一起过一个女生之夜吧
[06:36] I don’t think I can. 我应该去不了
[06:37] Just really busy. 我真的很忙
[06:39] Sorry. 抱歉
[06:40] Okay, no worries. 好吧 没关系
[06:42] But I’m gonna leave you my number just in case you change your mind. 但我把电话号码给你 万一你改变主意 就联系我吧
[06:44] – Dr. Vishwakumar. – Mm-hmm. 维什瓦库马尔医生
[06:46] Your mother-in-law’s on the phone. 你的婆婆打电话给你
[06:48] She’s accidentally locked herself in the garage again. 她又不小心把自己锁在车库里了
[06:51] She said it’s no rush, but the stove is on. 她说不需要着急 但炉子还烧着
[06:57] Good morning, students. 早上好 同学们
[07:00] Who knows what this is? 谁知道这是什么吗?
[07:01] That’s a 34C, front clasp, demi-cup. 那是34C的前扣半杯胸罩
[07:04] No, Trent. This is oppression. 不 特伦特 这是压迫
[07:16] Uh, they used to be made of more flammable materials. 以前的材料要更易燃
[07:18] The point is, 重点是
[07:19] we are starting our unit on the women’s rights movement, 我们要开始学习女权运动
[07:21] and it will take us all the way till the end of the year. 这一内容要一直讲到年底
[07:24] We’re studying the women’s rights movement for the next four months? 我们的未来四个月 都要学习女权运动?
[07:27] What about Watergate? 那水门事件怎么办?
[07:29] What about Iran-Contra? What about 9/11? 伊朗门事件怎么办?九一一事件呢?
[07:31] Uh, would you like to tell the women in this classroom 你想告诉班上的女生
[07:34] that those events mean more to you than their rights? 你认为那些事件 比她们的权利更加重要?
[07:36] We need to know other things for the AP test. AP考试要考其他知识点啊
[07:38] Reclaiming my time. 收回我的时间
[07:41] The first assignment. 第一份功课
[07:43] I need all of you to break up into groups 我需要你们大家进行小组合作
[07:45] and rewrite the Bill of Rights as if it were written, not by Founding Fathers 改写《权利法案》 假设法案的撰写人不是国父们
[07:50] but instead by Founding Mothers. 而是国母们写的
[07:55] Can you believe this? This is why we need real textbooks. 你能相信吗? 这就是为什么我们需要真正的教科书
[07:58] Well, according to you, I don’t read books. 根据你的说法 我不读书
[07:59] So I guess I’m cool with it. 所以我好像无所谓
[08:07] Excuse me, is this seat taken? 请问这里有人坐吗?
[08:09] Yeah, actually. My superhot boyfriend. Mm-hmm. 有的 我那超级帅的男友就坐这
[08:12] And he’s a real psycho, so… 而且他是个疯子 所以…
[08:14] – Damn. The cute ones are always taken. – Mm-hmm. 该死 好看的女生总是有男朋友了
[08:17] How’s your Valentine’s Day going? 你的情人节过得如何?
[08:19] It was good at the start, 刚开始时还不错
[08:21] and then I got Eric on the compatibility quiz. 结果配对测试显示我和埃里克最配
[08:23] Mm. He’s not so bad. He’s always the first to notice when I get a new haircut. 他没那么糟糕 我每次换了发型 他总是第一个发现
[08:27] I guess. 也许吧
[08:28] I just kind of wanted to get my smokeshow boyfriend, 我只是想跟我那帅爆表的男友配上
[08:31] but apparently the computer feels like he’s out of my league. 但显然电脑觉得我配不上他
[08:34] Okay. First of all, you’re my smokeshow girlfriend. 好 首先你是我美爆表的女友
[08:37] And secondly, 第二
[08:39] the computer thinks you’re exactly in my league. 电脑认为你和我是绝配
[08:42] Hallelujah. 赞美上帝
[08:43] Who cares if Devi’s perfect match was Eric 即使德维的绝配是埃里克又如何呢?
[08:46] as long as Paxton’s perfect match was her? 只要帕克斯顿的绝配是她就行了
[08:49] According to Nobel scientists, 根据诺贝尔科学家
[08:51] she was basically the only one in the whole world for him. 全世界只有她是他的人
[08:54] So suck on that, Haley. 你接受现实吧 海莉
[08:58] Oh, it seems as if it is still flammable. Everyone out! 看起来还是易燃的 大家都出去!
[09:01] Men and teachers last. 男人和老师排在最后
[09:10] Yo, babe. I have an amazing Valentine’s plan. 听着 宝贝 我有个很棒的情人节计划
[09:14] Picture this, candlelight dinner. 想象一下 烛光晚餐
[09:17] You, me, my Uncle Joe. 你、我还有乔叔叔
[09:19] Wear something sexy. 穿性感一点吧
[09:21] Yeah. Um, Trent, I think we should talk. 对了 特伦特 我们应该谈谈
[09:24] Oh wow. 哇
[09:26] Anytime someone says that to me, 每当有人那么对我说的时候
[09:29] it always means great news. 一定都是有很好的消息
[09:30] Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, I don’t think I can come to Valentine’s with your Uncle Joe. 对 我觉得我不能过来和你的乔叔叔一起过情人节
[09:35] Why? Is it because he hogs the crescent rolls? 为什么?是因为他会贪心地霸占所有新月卷吗?
[09:37] Or are you worried he’s gonna try to put you in one of his TV commercials? 还是你担心他会试图让你去拍他的电视广告?
[09:43] One of his, ‘scuse me, whats? 你说他的什么?
[09:45] His commercials. He owns a chain of blinds stores. 他的广告 他开了连锁窗帘店
[09:47] Chances are you’ve seen them while pumping gas. 你很有可能在加油的时候见过
[09:50] Wait. Is your Uncle Joe Captain Joe, 等等 你的乔叔叔是不是乔船长
[09:53] the pirate who makes high prices walk the plank? 那个让高物价跳海喂鲨鱼的海盗?
[09:56] That’s him. Yeah, whenever we have dinner together, 就是他 每当我们一起吃晚餐时
[09:58] he always ropes everyone at the table into being in his next commercial. 他总是会劝一起吃饭的人 去演他的下一条广告
[10:01] Oh, wow. 哇
[10:03] But we could always just go out to a restaurant. 但我们总是可以去餐厅吃饭
[10:06] No, I’ll be there. 不用了 我会去的
[10:08] Valentine’s Day is about family. Thanks for reminding me of that. 情人节是家庭团聚的节日 谢谢你提醒我这点
[10:16] Hey. 嘿
[10:18] Something wrong? You kinda bit my head off back there. 怎么了? 你刚刚在教室里无缘无故对我发火
[10:20] Yeah. Well, I didn’t love the way you talked to me earlier. 对 我不喜欢你之前跟我说话的方式
[10:24] That little library card remark was messed up. 你说要帮我办借书证 这太荒谬了
[10:26] Aneesa, I was just teasing. It was just a joke. 安妮莎 我只是在开玩笑 说着玩呢
[10:29] Was it a joke? You seem genuinely embarrassed by me. 真的是开玩笑吗? 你看起来真心觉得我很丢人
[10:32] Of course, I’m not embarrassed of you. 我怎么会觉得你丢人呢?
[10:34] You’re amazing, and pretty, and cool, and fun. 你很出色、漂亮、有范儿又有趣
[10:38] So what if you don’t know who some dumb author is. 即使你不认识一个蠢作家 那又怎么样?
[10:41] I don’t expect you to know everything that I know. 我不指望你知道我所知道的一切
[10:43] There it is. Right there. 又来了 你的毛病又犯了
[10:45] You’re so condescending. 你觉得自己高人一等
[10:46] You know what? Hmm. Think I’m gonna take a rain check on Valentine’s dinner. 听着 改天再吃情人节晚餐吧
[10:50] What? Aneesa, wait. 什么?安妮莎 等等
[10:51] Oh, come on. I didn’t mean it like that. 拜托 我不是那个意思
[11:03] Here we are again in the old bathroom. 我们又在这熟悉的洗手间里了
[11:06] Yeah. Um, Fabiola, about that. 对 法比奥拉 关于那件事
[11:10] I’m really sorry I kissed you. 我很抱歉亲了你
[11:13] Can we just forget about it? 我们能把那事忘了吗?
[11:16] Yeah. Yeah, no problem. 行啊 没问题
[11:17] I’m… I’m still getting over Eve, so… 我还是在试着忘了伊芙
[11:20] consider it forgotten. 就当我们已经把这件事忘了吧
[11:23] Thank you. 谢谢
[11:28] Good talk. 聊得很愉快
[11:38] Whoa! Is that homemaderigatones with… mozzarella? 哇!那是自制的意大利通心粉 配水牛芝士吗?
[11:42] Yep, as long as you count microwaving a Stouffer’s as homemade. 如果你觉得微波炉加热斯托弗冷冻食品也算自制 那就没错
[11:45] I did cut that sprig of parsley and put it on there. 但欧芹枝是我亲手切了放到上面的
[11:48] Uh, I think that’s mint. 那应该是薄荷吧
[11:51] Nice, refreshing. 不错 很清爽
[11:56] Look at us. You know, at first glance, we probably seem like a real odd couple. 看看我们 第一眼看上去 我们可能是很奇怪的一对
[12:00] Because, you know, you’re Paxton Hall-Yoshida. 因为你是大名鼎鼎的 帕克斯顿·霍尔-吉田
[12:03] And I’m just, ugh, nerdy little me with no abs. 我只是个没有腹肌的书呆子
[12:06] What? Don’t talk about yourself like that. 什么?别这样说自己
[12:08] Come on, you’re awesome. You’re beautiful. You’re smart. 拜托 你很优秀 既漂亮又聪明
[12:11] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m just saying, 对 我只是说
[12:13] despite that, those MIT scientists know what they’re talking about. 即使那样 麻省理工学院的科学家们 也知道自己在说什么
[12:16] – We’re really good together. – Totes. Just like marinara and mint. -我们挺配的 -完全没错 就像海员沙司和薄荷
[12:20] Sure, or things that more classically go together. 当然 你也可以列举更经典的搭配
[12:24] But anyway, we’re a good team. 但无论如何 我们挺合得来的
[12:27] – Yeah, we are a good team. – Mm-hmm. 对 我们是个好团队
[12:29] Hey, speaking of teams, 说到团队
[12:30] I’m gonna play paintball tomorrow with a bunch of dudes. Wanna come? 我明天要和一群朋友打漆弹 一起来吗?
[12:33] I absolutely do not. 我绝对不想
[12:35] But yet again, I love that we like different things, 但再次申明 我们喜欢不同的东西 这点很好
[12:37] because per the computer, opposites attract. 因为根据电脑的判断 异极相吸
[12:39] They sure do. 没错
[12:42] Happy Valentine’s Day, Devi. 德维 情人节快乐!
[12:46] Oh, shit. 该死
[12:48] I totally forgot. I bought fancy Parm for this. 我完全忘了 我为这顿饭买了高级的帕玛森芝士
[12:50] Not even the green can. It’s like a little brick I have to grate. 甚至不是装在绿色罐头里的 是我得磨碎的芝士块
[12:53] So, BRB. 等我一会儿
[12:55] Devi was finally at peace in her relationship. 德维终于在这段感情里 感到与世无争了
[12:58] And though the bar was low, 虽然标准不高
[12:59] she was having the most romantic meal of her life. 但这是她人生中最浪漫的一餐
[13:02] All she had to do now was lean back 她现在只需要躺平
[13:05] and wait for her chiseled, doting boyfriend 等待她那轮廓分明 对她宠爱有加的男友
[13:07] to bring her freshly grated cheese and… 把新鲜磨碎的芝士带回来
[13:11] lie to her frickin’ face. …在她面前撒下弥天大谎
[13:13] What the hell? 搞什么鬼啊?
[13:16] Cheers to my most romantic Valentine’s Day dinner yet. 再次为我最浪漫的情人节晚餐干杯
[13:20] – Eye contact. – Mmm. Sure. -眼神交流 -好
[13:23] Eye contact. Eleanor, eye contact. 眼神交流 埃莉诺 跟我进行眼神交流
[13:25] Yep. 好啊
[13:29] So, Captain Joe. 好了 乔队长
[13:32] You know, I’m a big fan. 我是你的忠实粉丝
[13:34] I love the commercial where you slash prices and some blinds with your hook hand. 我喜欢你用钩子手 砍价和斩窗帘的广告
[13:40] Thanks. Actually, I didn’t mean to rip those blinds in half, 谢谢 但我不是故意 把窗帘撕成两半的
[13:42] but we forgot to roll sound on the other take, so… 但我们忘记在其他镜头里录音了 所以…
[13:44] The performances are phenomenal. 表演水平真的很高
[13:46] Where do you find the actors? 演员是哪儿找的?
[13:48] Mmm… Mostly family dinners. 主要是在家庭聚餐上
[13:51] Oh, hey, you know, Eleanor is an actor. 对了 埃莉诺就是演员
[13:53] A really good one. 演技非常出色
[13:55] Well, if you want, you can play a salty sea wench. 如果你想的话 你可以演一个经验丰富的海员姑娘
[13:59] In your next commercial? 在你的下一条广告里?
[14:01] Yeah, sure. 当然可以
[14:04] Oh my God. 我的天
[14:07] I’m a working actor. 我是在职演员了
[14:09] I’m a working actor. Thank you so much. 我是在职演员了 太谢谢你了
[14:12] Yeah, anything for someone who makes my nephew here so happy. 没错 我愿意帮助 所有让我侄子开心的人
[14:16] Oh, not even weed makes me this happy. 噢 连大麻都不能让我这么开心
[14:24] Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart. 情人节快乐 宝贝
[14:37] Oh, Devi. Hi. Hey, do you want to have a little bit of dinner with me? 德维 你好啊 你想和我一起吃点晚餐吗?
[14:40] Your grandmother’s having Galentine’s with one of her cliques, 你奶奶正在 和她小圈子里的闺蜜聚会呢
[14:42] and believe I saw your cousin sneak into your teacher’s crappy little Honda. 我好像看到你的表姐 偷偷钻进了你老师的小破本田车里
[14:45] Uh, no, thanks. I already ate. I’m just gonna go up to my room. 不用了 谢谢 我已经吃过了 我回房间好了
[14:49] Uh, I have a big test tomorrow. 明天有场大考
[14:52] As Nalini envisioned her night 娜里妮原本想象她晚上
[14:54] watching a Hallmark movie with an inanimate object, 会跟没生命的玩偶看一部贺曼电影
[14:57] she started to entertain the possibility 这时 她开始考虑
[15:00] that she might need to broaden her social horizons. 自己可能需要扩展社交圈子
[15:04] Hi, Rhyah! Still free tomorrow? 嗨 莱雅 明天还有空吗?
[15:07] This is Nalini Vishwakumar. 我是娜里妮·维什瓦库马尔
[15:08] Devi hadn’t mentioned the card to Paxton, 德维没对帕克斯顿提到卡片的事情
[15:11] instead she had spent the rest of dinner pretending to be happy, 她晚餐的余下时间 都装出一副开心的样子
[15:15] like I did when I got runner-up at Wimbledon in 1980. 就像我在1980年的温布顿网球赛上 拿了亚军时 也装得很开心
[15:18] Not doing a great job there, bud. 朋友 你装得不咋地啊
[15:20] Wow, you really weren’t lying 哇 关于这帕玛森芝士
[15:23] about the Parmesan. 你真的没骗我耶
[15:24] – It’s delicious. – I know, right? -真的很好吃 -对吧?
[15:26] Yeah. Uh-huh. 对
[15:28] I sure can trust you when it comes to cheese. 我知道在芝士这方面 我可以相信你
[15:38] But obviously Devi was spiraling. 但显然德维在极速下坠
[15:41] Why did Paxton lie to her? 帕克斯顿为什么要骗她?
[15:43] And, more importantly, 更重要的是
[15:44] was his perfect match who she thought it was? 他的绝配是她心里想的那个人吗?
[15:53] Eric, we need to talk about the compatibility quiz. I know you got me. 埃里克 我们需要聊聊配对测试 我知道我跟你配上了
[15:57] Shh! Keep it down. You trying to ruin my rep, dork? 小声一点 你是想毁了我的名声吗 白痴?
[16:01] Excuse me, nerd? 说什么啊 呆瓜?
[16:04] I’ve spent the last two years trying to date someone who’s hot 过去两年 我一直试图 找一个火辣的对象
[16:08] and become popular, 让我的人气大增
[16:09] so that I’m not just the kid who lost his dad… 这样我不只是一个失去爸爸的孩子…
[16:12] Damn. Maybe they were alike. 该死 也许他们真的有很大共同点
[16:15] …at Disneyland. …我在迪士尼乐园走丢了
[16:16] I had to wait for him near the security desk. 我不得不在保安台旁边等他
[16:18] Oh my God. 我的天
[16:19] Ugh. This kid. 这个孩子啊
[16:21] Well, I know Paxton made you trade cards with him. So tell me who he got. 我知道帕克斯顿让你跟他交换卡片 所以告诉我他跟谁配对上了
[16:25] – Hmm. Interesting. What’s it worth to ya? – Just give me the card, Eric. -有趣 你觉得卡片值多少钱? -把卡片给我就行了
[16:29] Oh, you mean this card? 你是说这张卡片吗?
[16:32] Well, it is gonna cost you big time. 你要付上巨款 我才能给你
[16:37] Haley. 是海莉
[16:38] Damn it. 该死
[16:39] No, I don’t. No! I never said that. 没有 不!我没说过
[16:42] – Is she laughing? That’s five bucks then. – I’m not laughing. -她在笑吗?那就是五块钱 -我没有笑
[16:48] How’d the rest of your Valentine’s go? Did you break up with… 情人节的余下时间还顺利吗? 你有没有分手…
[16:51] Ah! My boyfriend. 我的男朋友来了
[16:55] I’m gonna take that as a no. 那就是说没有
[16:58] No, I didn’t break up with him. Instead, I used him to get to his uncle. 我没跟他分手 相反 我利用他去接近他叔叔了
[17:03] I’m gonna need you to elaborate on that. 你得详细说说
[17:05] His uncle’s Captain Joe. 他叔叔就是乔船长
[17:07] The blinds guy? 窗帘大叔?
[17:08] Yep, and I weaseled my way into one of his commercials. 没错 我还不择手段地 拿到了演他的广告的机会
[17:11] Oh my God, Eleanor, you’re gonna be in a commercial? 我的天 埃莉诺 你要拍广告了?
[17:14] Yeah, but I feel really gross about it. 是啊 但我觉得这样很恶心
[17:17] So what are you gonna do? 你打算怎么办?
[17:18] I think I have to let both Trent and the commercial go. 我想我得放弃特伦特和广告了
[17:23] Maybe one of these days I’ll meet someone who’s right for me, 也许有一天我会遇到合适的人
[17:26] whose uncle also makes commercials. 恰巧也有个做广告的叔叔
[17:31] And so Eric shows me Paxton’s card, and it’s frigging Haley. 埃里克给我看了帕克斯顿的卡片 竟然是该死的海莉
[17:36] Are you worried that something is going on between them? 你是担心他们俩的关系不单纯吗?
[17:39] I don’t know. 我不知道
[17:40] I don’t think so. 我觉得没有
[17:42] It’s just… Why else would he lie? 只是他有什么别的理由要骗我呢?
[17:45] Well, it was wrong for Paxton to be dishonest. 帕克斯顿骗了你 这样的确不对
[17:48] But why do you care so much about this test? 但你为什么这么在乎这份测试?
[17:50] It’s just… 就是…
[17:53] when I see him talking to Haley, I feel really jealous. 当我看到他跟海莉说话 我就会吃醋
[17:56] They look so good together. 他们看起来挺般配的
[17:59] Like, no one would bat an eye if you said that they were a couple. 要是说他们俩是情侣 不会有人感到吃惊
[18:02] And you think you and Paxton are getting tons of eye bats? 你觉得你和帕克斯顿在一起 出乎大家意料?
[18:05] I can’t help but worry that this is some weird phase for him 我忍不住要担心 这对于他只是个奇怪的阶段
[18:08] where he dates a quirky, smart girl. 他跟一个古怪、聪明的女孩约会
[18:11] And at any moment, he’s gonna be like, 他随时都可能醒过来
[18:13] “Yo, you know what I miss?” 说:“知道我想念什么吗?”
[18:15] “Superhot models with six-pack abs and, like, symmetrical boobs.” 有六块腹肌的模特正妹 长着对称的乳房”
[18:20] First of all, girl, nobody has symmetrical boobs. 首先 姑娘 所有人的乳房都是不对称的
[18:24] Everybody’s got a Biggie and a Smalls. 每个人都有一个大胸和小胸
[18:26] And secondly, that way of thinking is selling you both short. 其次 那么想就是低估了你们两个
[18:30] – Like, look at this girl. – Do I have to? -看看这个女孩 -一定要看吗?
[18:32] Yes. Look at her stories. 对 看她的限时动态
[18:35] Here she is doing a cool dance, ironically. 讽刺的是 她正在跳一支有范儿的舞
[18:38] And here she is doing Pilates. Probably without even queefing. 这会儿她在做普拉提 可能阴道也不会排气
[18:42] And here she is playing paintball. 这会儿她正玩漆弹呢
[18:45] Wait, she’s playing paintball? Doc, I gotta go. 等等 她在玩漆弹? 医生 我得走了
[18:49] Devi, don’t. Let’s work through this. 德维 别 我们一起来解决这个问题
[18:51] Devi, don’t go… 德维 别走啊…
[18:54] Shit. 妈的
[18:55] Mmm, an açai bowl. I never had one of these before. 阿萨伊碗 这是我第一次吃
[18:58] – Really? – Mm-mm. 真的吗?
[19:00] Oh, açai bowls are great. 阿萨伊碗很赞
[19:01] They’re loaded with antioxidants, fiber. They boost brain function. 里面充满了抗氧成分和纤维 可以增强大脑功能
[19:05] But really, they’re just a way to eat tons of sugar and pretend it’s healthy for you. 但实际上只是吃一大碗糖 假装对健康很有利
[19:10] You sound like my husband. He had a huge sweet tooth. 你听起来像我丈夫 他特别喜欢甜食
[19:13] One time he had three Pizookies. 有一次他吃了三个曲奇派
[19:14] That’s a cookie the size of a pie. 就是和派一样大的曲奇饼
[19:16] Got very sick to the stomach. 害得他肚子很不舒服
[19:18] But even in severe abdominal pain, he was still able to make me laugh. 但就算肚子疼得要死 他还是能让我大笑
[19:23] I’m sorry, Nalini. Must be really difficult without him. 我替你感到惋惜 娜里妮 没有他的日子一定很难过
[19:27] Yesterday was harder than I expected, you know. 昨天比我预想中要难过
[19:31] I always thought Valentine’s Day was stupid, but last night… 我一直以为情人节 是个愚蠢的节日 但昨晚
[19:35] …I would’ve given anything for him to walk through the door 要是能让他带着从加油站 花五块钱买来的泰迪熊走进家门
[19:37] with a $5 teddy bear from the gas station. 我愿意付出一切
[19:39] I wish you could’ve had that too. 我也希望你也能圆梦
[19:43] Saw a picture of him in your office. Good for you, girl. 我在你的办公室看到了他的照片 你可真幸运啊 姑娘
[19:48] – He was nice to look at, wasn’t he? – Mmm. 他很帅吧?
[19:52] But that’s not what I miss most about him. 我最想念的不是他的帅
[19:53] I truly just miss having my best friend around. 我只是真心想念 有我最好的朋友陪在身边
[19:57] Well, it sounds like a new friend is just what’s needed. 听起来你需要的只是一个新朋友
[20:03] Let’s do something fun. Have you ever had a blowout? 我们去做点有趣的吧 你吹过爆炸头吗?
[20:06] I fear this açai bowl may lead to one. 我怕这阿萨伊碗可能会让我屁眼爆炸
[20:10] No. No, no. I meant your hair. There’s a blow-dry bar over there. 不 我是说你的发型啦 那边有家吹发工作室
[20:14] No, please. 不要 求你了
[20:16] I’m so embarrassed. 我感觉好丢人
[20:19] Sounds like fun. 听起来挺好玩的
[20:24] What up? Let’s get our P-ball on. 怎么样?开始打漆弹吧
[20:26] Hey, I didn’t think you wanted to play. 嘿 我以为你不想玩呢
[20:28] I changed my mind. 我改变主意了
[20:30] As I always say, 我常说
[20:31] a couple that shoots guns together has funs together… Ah! 情侣一起打枪 一起享乐
[20:35] Wow, that is a sensitive trigger. 哇 扳机真是敏感啊
[20:38] Well, we already picked teams, but Trent’s team is down a person. 很赞 我们已经选好队伍了 但特伦特的队伍少一个人
[20:43] Oh. Yeah. Sure. I’ll be on Trent’s team. 哦 好啊 那我去特伦特的队伍
[20:46] All right, cool. Let’s go! 行 我们走吧!
[20:50] Welcome to the squad, Crazy Devi. 欢迎来到我们的小队 疯子德维
[20:52] Okay, I’ve given it some thought, and here’s our strategy. 好 我考虑了一下 我们的策略如下
[20:56] If you see someone on the other team, shoot paintballs at them, 如果你看到对方的人马 就朝他们打漆弹
[20:58] and then the second part of that strategy is 策略的第二部分
[21:00] don’t let them shoot paintballs that hit you. 别让他们用漆弹打中你们
[21:04] Oh, and be careful ’cause Haley’s a sick shot. 你们得小心 因为海莉的枪法很准
[21:06] How good could she be? 她能有多厉害?
[21:11] – Jesus. – Yeah, she and Paxton are gonna smoke us. -天啊 -对 她和帕克斯顿会让我们惨败的
[21:14] Oh, which reminds me. I’m gonna get high before we do this. 我想起来了 在战斗之前 我要嗑一把药
[21:17] As Devi looked over at the so-called perfect match of Haley and Paxton, 当德维看到海莉和帕克斯顿 这对所谓的完美情人时
[21:22] she realized she had let this dumb compatibility test mess with her head, 她意识到她的思绪 完全被这份愚蠢的配对测试打乱了
[21:26] and the only way to go forward was to let the test go. 向前走的唯一办法就是忘记这份测试
[21:30] But also, she decided the only way she could let the test go 但她决定 让她忘记测试的唯一办法
[21:34] is if she kicked Haley’s ass at paintball 就是在漆弹游戏中 把海莉打得屁滚尿流
[21:36] proving that she was Paxton’s true perfect match. 证明她和帕克斯顿才是绝配
[21:40] What? You thought she was gonna be mature about this? 什么? 你以为她会成熟地解决问题吗?
[21:53] Wow. Am I amazing at this? 哇 我是不是很厉害?
[22:11] Oh, I bruise so easily. 我很容易淤青
[22:36] – On your knees. – What? -跪下 -什么?
[22:42] Bet you thought you could beat me, huh? 你肯定以为能打败我吧?
[22:44] I might not be as cute as you or as limber as you, 我可能不如你可爱 也不如你敏捷
[22:47] and my hair might not be as shiny as yours, 我的头发也可能不如你的亮泽
[22:49] but I do have determination and grit 但我有决心和勇气
[22:52] like the noble cockroach. 就像高贵的蟑螂一样
[22:55] I don’t know what’s happening. 我不知道这是怎么回事
[22:56] But could you shoot me so I can be out of the game and get a soda? 你能开枪打我 踢我出局 好让我去喝口软饮吗?
[22:58] Okay, I’m gonna shoot you when I’m good and ready to… 好 等我准备好了 我就开枪打你…
[23:03] – Yes! Blue team wins. Let’s go! – Whoo! 太好了!蓝队获胜 我们走!
[23:09] Yeah! 耶!
[23:14] Aneesa. Neese, wait. You have to talk to me. 安妮莎 小莎 等等 你得跟我说话啊
[23:17] I know that I messed up, and I was a dick. I’m really sorry. 我知道我搞砸我们的感情 我不是东西 我真的很抱歉
[23:21] Yeah, I don’t think this is working out. 我们应该走不下去了
[23:25] What? No. Why? 什么?不要 为什么?
[23:27] I don’t think you respect me. 我觉得你不尊重我
[23:29] And you make me feel stupid, 你让我觉得自己很笨
[23:31] and I’m not stupid. 但我明明不笨
[23:34] I deserve someone who’s excited to be with me just as I am 值得跟我在一起的人 应该要为跟真正的我相处感到兴奋
[23:38] and who doesn’t wish I was someone else. 对方不会希望我成为别人
[23:49] Shit. Why are you in every room I enter? 该死 为什么不管我进入哪间房 你都要在里面?
[23:52] I don’t know the answer to that. Um, I can go, though. 我不知道答案 但我可以离开
[23:59] Wait. Are you okay? 等等 你没事吧?
[24:07] Ben and I just broke up. 本和我分手了
[24:11] I… I’m really sorry, Aneesa. 我真的替你惋惜 安妮莎
[24:13] It was for the best. He wasn’t really right for me. 这是为大家好 我们不合适
[24:18] So I guess the test was wrong for you. 我想你的测试结果是错的
[24:19] No. No. I lied about getting Ben. 不 本其实不是我的配对结果
[24:24] I actually got a random freshman. 其实是一个不认识的新生
[24:29] Listen, I am sure you will find another great guy soon. 听着 我敢肯定 你很快就会找到一个很棒的男生
[24:36] Or, you know, a great girl if kissing me wasn’t a fluke. 如果吻我不是意外 说不定你也可以找到一个很棒的女生
[24:42] I’m sure the right person is out there. 我相信合适的人就在这个世界上
[24:47] Even though the conversation had some mixed signals, 虽然对话中暗藏了混合的信号
[24:50] Fabiola felt good about it. It was a start. 但法比奥拉感觉很乐观 这是个开始
[24:52] Well, in the meantime, I’m here if you want to talk. 与此同时 你要是想聊 随时可以找我
[24:57] Thanks, Fabiola. 谢谢你 法比奥拉
[25:00] You’re a good friend. 你是个靠谱的朋友
[25:10] Watch it, dude. 看路啊 老兄
[25:19] Nice job, Haley. 干得好 海莉
[25:20] I can’t believe you shot me. 真不敢相信你朝我开枪
[25:21] You saw Haley and I sitting there, and you shot me, and I’m your girlfriend. 你看到海莉和我坐在那里 你却开枪打我 但我是你女朋友啊
[25:24] She was on my team. 她跟我是同一队的
[25:26] And I thought we were a team. 我还以为我们才是一队的呢
[25:28] – What is going on with you? – I know you lied. -你怎么了? -我知道你撒谎了
[25:30] I know you got Haley on the test, and you lied to me. Why? 我知道测试结果说你和海莉是绝配 你骗了我 为什么?
[25:34] I don’t know. Maybe because I thought you might take it badly if you knew I got Haley. 我不知道 我以为如果你知道 我和海莉配上了 你可能会难过
[25:37] Why would you think that? 你怎么会那么想?
[25:39] Well, because of how you’re acting right now. 你现在的反应就证实了我的想法
[25:42] And also you’ve been really weird since Haley and I became friends again, 而且自从我和海莉重归于好之后 你就表现得很奇怪
[25:46] even though you’re the one who made me apologize. 即便是你让我去道歉的
[25:48] Sorry, but she’s so beautiful and good with guns, 抱歉 但她很漂亮 枪法也很厉害
[25:51] and could be Lara Croft for Halloween. How am I supposed to compete with that? 她万圣节完全可以扮成劳拉·卡芙特 我怎么能跟她比呢?
[25:55] You don’t. 不比就行了
[25:56] Haley and I are just friends. I’m with you. 海莉和我只是普通朋友而已 我在跟你谈恋爱
[25:58] I know, but I don’t understand why. 我知道 但我不明白为什么
[26:02] Why what? 什么为什么?
[26:04] Why I’m with you? Because I like you. 为什么我跟你在一起吗? 因为我喜欢你
[26:07] Yeah, but why? No one else thinks we make any sense. 对啊 但为什么呢? 没别人认为我们合适
[26:12] No, you don’t think we make any sense. 不 是你认为我们不合适
[26:14] Because when we walk down the halls, I know what everyone’s thinking. 因为当我们在走廊上走时 我知道大家在想什么
[26:18] “Oh, why is he with her? He’s too good for her.” “他怎么跟她在一起了?她配不上他”
[26:21] Who cares what people think? 谁在意别人怎么想?
[26:24] I think you’re good enough for me. 我认为你跟我很般配
[26:26] But I can’t keep trying to convince you of that. 但我不能一直苦口婆心地说服你
[26:30] What does that mean? 什么意思?
[26:31] Look, Devi, I-I really like you, but… 听着 德维 我真的很喜欢你 但…
[26:36] I-I don’t think we can have a real relationship 但要是你不爱自己
[26:38] until you like yourself. 那我们应该没办法发展真正的感情
[26:43] I’m sorry. 对不起
[26:59] Whoa, Eleanor! 哇哦 埃莉诺!
[27:01] Are you here to play paintball too? 你也是来玩漆弹的吗?
[27:03] Weird. I wouldn’t have pegged that as one of your interests. 我不会想到你对漆弹感兴趣
[27:06] It’s not, Trent. I wanted to talk to you. 我没兴趣 特伦特 我想跟你谈谈
[27:09] – Well, then it’s good I was here also. – Uh-huh. 那很好啊 我正好也在
[27:11] Let me just dive in. There’s something I have to confess to you. 我有话直说吧 我有件事要向你坦白
[27:15] I used you to get into your uncle’s commercial. 我利用你来获得 拍你叔叔的广告的机会
[27:18] I was gonna break up with you, and then you told me about it, 我本来想跟你分手的 然后你把广告的事情告诉了我
[27:21] and I deployed my incredible acting skills to manipulate you. 我就利用了我超群的演技来操纵你
[27:26] But I won’t take the commercial, and you’ll never have to see me again. 但我不会接广告 你也不用再见到我了
[27:30] We have a lot of classes together. 我们有很多课要一起上
[27:32] Okay, well, yeah, you’ll see me in those. 好 你会在课上看到我
[27:35] But I can wear my veil if that would help. 但如果有用 我可以戴上头纱
[27:37] Eleanor, I knew you were gonna dump me. 埃莉诺 我早知道你会甩了我
[27:39] I’m not a great boyfriend. 我不是个好的男朋友
[27:41] I’ve been told by many guidance counselors that I’m clinically immature. 很多辅导员都告诉我 根据临床判断 我患有不成熟症
[27:45] – I actually manipulated you. – What? -其实是我操纵了你 -什么?
[27:48] I dangled Uncle Joe in front of you 我把乔叔叔当诱饵送到你面前
[27:50] like a carrot in front of a person who really likes carrots. 就像拿胡萝卜 在一个喜欢胡萝卜的人面前晃
[27:53] I knew his Hollywood connections would make you stay with me. 我知道他在好莱坞的人脉很广 这会让你留在我身边
[27:56] Wait, so we deceived each other to get what we wanted? 等等 我们都是为了满足一己私欲 欺骗了对方?
[28:02] Oh my God. We’re like a real celebrity couple. 天啊 我们就和真正的名人情侣一样
[28:07] I really like you, Eleanor. 我真的很喜欢你 埃莉诺
[28:10] I know it seems like I’m knee-deep in tang twenty-four-sevskies, but… 我知道我好像 是无时不刻不在搞女人的渣男
[28:14] you’re actually my first girlfriend, and I’m a little insecure about that. 但其实你是我的初恋女友 我有点缺乏安全感
[28:27] Devi. Guess what? 德维 你猜怎么着?
[28:29] I did a gal pal hang today. 我今天跟闺蜜出去玩了
[28:31] Please check out my blowout. I look like a newswoman. 请看看我新吹的爆炸卷发 看起来像女记者吧?
[28:36] Yeah. That… That’s great, Mom. 好吧 那太好了 妈妈
[28:37] Is everything okay? 没事吧?
[28:38] Y-Yeah. Um, I just didn’t do well on that test I told you about earlier. 对 我不是告诉你说要考试吗? 我考砸了
[28:46] Devi. 德维
[28:49] What actually happened? 到底发生什么事了?
[28:50] Is this about a boy? 是因为男生吗?
[28:52] Even though I won’t let you date, I do care if you’re heartbroken. 虽然我不让你谈恋爱 但你要是被人伤了心 我也会心疼
[28:57] Yeah. It’s about a boy. 对 是因为一个男生
[28:59] And I really, really liked him. 我真的很喜欢他
[29:06] Come here. 过来
好想做一次

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