| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:15] | I can’t believe he’s still in there getting tested. | 我真不敢相信他还在接受测试 |
| [00:18] | It’s gonna be fine. | 不会有事的 |
| [00:19] | He’s a regular kid- – he’s just a little weird. | 他是个正常的孩子 就是有点古怪而已 |
| [00:22] | – I’m not worried. – Really? | -我不担心 -当真吗 |
| [00:23] | Because it seems like you’re nervously fixing | 因为你似乎紧张到在修理一个 |
| [00:25] | a perfectly good cabinet door. | 一点问题都没有的橱柜门 |
| [00:27] | It is not perfectly good. | 并不是一点问题都没有 |
| [00:28] | It has actually been broken… since I nervously ripped it off. | 从我紧张地把它扯掉后 它就坏了 |
| [00:32] | Mr. And Mrs. Bennett, I have great news. | 本奈特先生和夫人 我有好消息要告诉你们 |
| [00:35] | Marc’s IQ is off the charts. | 马科的智商爆表了 |
| [00:38] | He’s gifted. | 他是个天才 |
| [00:39] | – No! – Damn it to hell! | -不要啊 -该死的 |
| [00:42] | I’m sorry, but did you hear what I just said? | 不好意思 你们听到我刚说的话了吗 |
| [00:44] | Your son is a prodigy. | 你们的儿子是个神童啊 |
| [00:46] | This is wonderful. | 这简直太棒了 |
| [00:47] | We know the drill. We’ve already been through this. | 我们知道程序 我们已经经历过这种事了 |
| [00:50] | Twice. | 经历了两次 |
| [00:54] | – English. – Please tell your son | -说英语 -麻烦告诉一下你儿子 |
| [00:55] | you promised me the dining room for my hyper-polyglot meeting, | 你答应把饭厅留给我开「多语言精通者」会议的 |
| [00:58] | not for his juvenile food nonsense. | 而不是让他搞这幼稚的食物闹剧 |
| [01:01] | Molecular gastronomy is not juvenile. | 分子美食学才不是幼稚的闹剧 |
| [01:04] | It’s science you can eat. | 这是可以吃的科学 |
| [01:05] | The smoke in this jar is a whole Thanksgiving dinner. | 这罐子里的烟雾就是一顿感恩节大餐 |
| [01:08] | No one cares! | 没人在意 |
| [01:09] | You can taste the yams. | 你可以尝到甜薯味 |
| [01:11] | See? This is every day. | 瞧 我们每天都这么苦逼 |
| [01:14] | Well, most people would see | 大多数人都会认为 |
| [01:15] | three gifted children as a blessing. | 家里有三个天才儿童是上天的恩赐 |
| [01:18] | Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Blessed with private school tuition, | 是啊是啊 真是谢老天隆恩 要支付私校学费 |
| [01:21] | grant application fees, | 大笔的申请费 |
| [01:22] | hazardous waste removal. | 有害废品清理费 |
| [01:25] | Do you know what it’s like to wake up | 你知道大半夜地醒来 |
| [01:26] | in the middle of the night and see your child | 看到你的孩子在抽你的血 |
| [01:27] | drawing your blood for a medical experiment? | 进行医学实验是什么感受吗 |
| [01:30] | ‘Cause I do. | 我可深有体会 |
| [01:33] | Mother to future mother: | 我这个当妈的跟你这要当妈的说一句 |
| [01:35] | you better hope that one turns out more like this one. | 你最好祈祷你肚子里的孩子跟那个孩子一样 |
| [01:38] | Noses are like mouths… | 鼻子其实也跟嘴是一样的 |
| [01:41] | that eat smells. | 只不过吃的是气味 |
| [01:45] | She’s our star. | 她是我们的最爱 |
| [01:47] | Okay. Well, you should also know, | 好吧 你们还应该知道 |
| [01:49] | Marc actually had the highest score that I ever tested. | 马科的智商是我测试过的人当中最高的 |
| [01:54] | I see what’s going on here. | 我明白这是怎么回事了 |
| [01:57] | How much is it gonna take to make this go away | 要多少钱你才能当这事没发生过 |
| [02:00] | Honey, honey, honey. Honey. | 亲爱的 亲爱的 亲爱的 |
| [02:02] | It’s too late. He’s one of them now. | 已经太迟了 他确定是天才无疑了 |
| [02:07] | I will see myself out. | 我自己出去 不必送了 |
| [02:12] | I guess this means I’m gifted. | 看来这说明我是天才 |
| [02:22] | It’s okay, buddy. | 没事的 小家伙 |
| [02:25] | We still love you. | 我们依然爱你 |
| [02:39] | Know what it means now that Marc’s officially gifted? | 现在马科被官宣为天才 知道这意味着什么吗 |
| [02:42] | We can no longer live in denial. | 我们不能活在否认中了 |
| [02:45] | The schools are so cheap in denial. | 但否认的话 学费会低很多 |
| [02:48] | No. We’re gonna have to pony up for private school. | 不行 现在只能凑钱送他上私校了 |
| [02:51] | Or we keep him in public, bump him up to 12th grade. | 或者让他上公校 但直接让他跳级到12年级 |
| [02:55] | It’ll give us another year to save up. | 那可以给我们多出一年的时间存钱 |
| [02:56] | I mean, sure, he’ll be a small senior… | 当然了 他将是最小的高四学生 |
| [02:59] | But that just means the lockers he gets stuffed into | 但这也意味着他被霸凌时塞进的柜子 |
| [03:01] | will be extra roomy. | 对他来说会很宽敞 |
| [03:03] | Maybe we can tuck him in under the sink tonight to practice. | 或许今晚我们可以把他塞进水池下面演练下 |
| [03:08] | Ah, yeah, we can’t do any of that, ’cause we love him. | 但这些我们都不能做 因为我们爱他 |
| [03:12] | And we don’t want a true crime podcast made about us. | 再说我们也不想他做个真实犯罪案例播客来揭发我们 |
| [03:16] | – Hey, Daddy. – Oh, God. | -你好啊 爸爸 -天呐 |
| [03:18] | You look handsome. What are you doing at work today? | 你看上去很帅啊 你今天工作要忙什么 |
| [03:20] | Building a window seat for the Jasters’ bedroom. Why? | 给加斯特斯的卧室做个窗边座位 怎么了 |
| [03:24] | I’m just interested in you. | 我只是对你感兴趣而已 |
| [03:25] | But now that we’re asking questions, | 但既然我们现在已经开始问问题了 |
| [03:27] | when the tester said that Marc’s FISC score | 那个测试员之前说马科的智商测试得分 |
| [03:29] | was the highest she’s ever tested, | 是她测过的人里最高的 |
| [03:31] | that’s only because she didn’t test me. | 那只是因为她没测过我 |
| [03:34] | Right? | 对吧 |
| [03:35] | Uh- uh, no. I- I am not playing this game. | 不 我拒绝玩这个游戏 |
| [03:37] | We don’t tell any of you your IQs. | 我们不会透露你们的具体智商是多少 |
| [03:39] | It’s okay. I already know my score was higher than Brian’s. | 没事的 我已经知道我的分数比布莱恩高了 |
| [03:43] | Oh, God, I know you’re trying to trick me, | 天呐 我知道你是想耍手段坑我 |
| [03:46] | but I don’t know how. Kay? | 但我不知道你要怎么操作 凯 |
| [03:48] | Kay! | 凯 |
| [03:50] | She wants to know their FISC scores. | 她想知道他们的智商测试得分 |
| [03:51] | No chance. There’s already enough ego and competition in this house. | 不可能 这个家的自负和竞争已经够多了 |
| [03:55] | Thanks a lot, Mike! | 真是多谢你了啊 麦克 |
| [03:59] | It’s not even 8:00 a.M., | 现在还没到早上8点 |
| [04:00] | and we’ve already been assaulted | 但我们已经遭到了高智商人士的攻击 |
| [04:02] | and lost our dining room to a science experiment. | 并且不得不割让饭厅 让他们做科学实验 |
| [04:05] | This does not bode well. | 丧权辱国 不祥之兆啊 |
| [04:07] | Right. | 是啊 |
| [04:10] | – Because “bode” Means… – Look good. | -“不祥之兆”的意思是… -看上去不太妙 |
| [04:11] | – It doesn’t look good. – I know what it means. | -看上去不太妙 -我知道这个词的意思 |
| [04:12] | – I know the word. – You do not! You don’t know | -我知道这个词 -你才不知道 你根本不知道 |
| [04:14] | – what it means. – It’s one of my favorite words. | -这个词的意思 -那是我最爱的词了 |
| [04:17] | – Mommy, I have a question. – Yeah, honey? | -妈妈 我有个问题 -什么问题 宝贝 |
| [04:19] | If Brian’s a genius, and Nicole’s a genius, | 如果布莱恩是天才 妮可也是天才 |
| [04:22] | and now Marc’s a genius, am I a genius? | 现在马科也成天才了 那我是天才吗 |
| [04:28] | Well, you have a lot of good qualities, | 这个嘛 你拥有很多美好的品质 |
| [04:32] | but, um, do you want to be a genius? | 但是 你想成为天才吗 |
| [04:36] | No. | 不想 |
| [04:38] | I want to be a waffle. | 我想成为一块华夫饼 |
| [04:41] | You’d be delicious. | 那你一定会非常美味的 |
| [04:43] | Hey, buddy. | 嘿 小家伙 |
| [04:45] | What are you doing with that? | 你拿这个是要干什么 |
| [04:46] | I’m developing an opera about Sacco and Vanzetti, | 我要写一部关于萨科和万泽蒂的歌剧 |
| [04:48] | two Italian anarchists in 1921 | 他们是1921年时的两个意大利无政府主义者 |
| [04:51] | who were put to death. | 但后来被处死了 |
| [04:53] | Neato. | 好牛啊 |
| [04:56] | – Basement? – Basement. | -去地下室冷静下 -必须去地下室了 |
| [05:00] | I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s sad. | 我都不知道该怎么办了 好可悲啊 |
| [05:03] | I don’t feel like I can relate to our kids at all. | 我感觉我跟孩子们彻底不是一个世界的人了 |
| [05:05] | – I know. They’re so weird. – Yeah. | -我明白 他们好奇葩 -没错 |
| [05:07] | And they’re only getting weirder. | 而且只会越长越奇葩 |
| [05:09] | I mean, where does it end? | 什么时候是个头啊 |
| [05:10] | Today it’s opera, next it could be… | 今天写歌剧 下次… |
| [05:13] | I don’t know what’s worse than opera, | 我都不知道还有什么能比歌剧更可怕 |
| [05:15] | but I’m worried our three kids will invent it, | 但我担心我们三个孩子会造出更可怕的东西 |
| [05:16] | and we’ll have to go to it. | 你我就有得好受了 |
| [05:18] | And they’ve taken over the whole house. | 而且整间房子都给他们占领了 |
| [05:19] | I mean, th- this is all that we have left. | 我们就剩这么大点地方 |
| [05:21] | Our monument to simpler, dumber times. | 用来缅怀那简单 蠢萌的过往 |
| [05:25] | Remember when I reeled that guy in | 还记不记得我在斯宾塞礼品店 |
| [05:27] | at Spencer’s Gifts? | 把那家伙”钓”到手了 |
| [05:30] | I used to think this basement is where our kids would | 我以前以为这间地下室会被孩子们 |
| [05:33] | sneak down to smoke pot. | 用来偷吸大麻 |
| [05:37] | And now we do. | 结果现在这么干的却是我们 |
| [05:44] | Maybe we just did everything wrong. | 也许我们一直以来都做错了 |
| [05:45] | No, the problem is we did everything right. | 不 问题在于我们做得太对了 |
| [05:49] | We nurtured their gifts | 我们培养他们的天赋 |
| [05:50] | and encouraged their natural curiosity. | 激发他们与生俱来的好奇心 |
| [05:54] | – Man, that was dumb. – Yeah. | -这么做太蠢了 -没错 |
| [05:57] | – I mean, look where it got us. – Yeah. | -瞧瞧我们沦落到了什么田地 -可不是 |
| [05:59] | You know, at this point, | 此时此刻 |
| [06:00] | I would just settle for, like, a regular day | 我真希望能过上普普通通的一天 |
| [06:02] | where I don’t need Google Translate to find out | 不用等查询了谷歌翻译 |
| [06:04] | if I’ve been insulted. | 才发现自己被损了 |
| [06:05] | Or where we bring home an animal as a pet, | 或者 我们带动物回家是要当宠物养的 |
| [06:08] | – and not to dissect. – Or to clone. | -不是拿来解剖的 -也不是拿来克隆的 |
| [06:10] | Oh, the cloning’s the worst. When they look at you, | 克隆太罪恶了 当克隆出来的动物望着你时 |
| [06:13] | you know that they know they’re a mistake. | 你能感觉到 它们知道自己不该存在于世上 |
| [06:16] | All I want is one day of normal. | 我只希望能过上寻常的一天 |
| [06:19] | We need it. The kids definitely need it. | 我们需要 孩子们肯定也需要 |
| [06:21] | I mean, I love them. | 我爱他们 |
| [06:23] | I don’t want them to grow into super weirdos. | 我可不希望他们长大后成了超级大奇葩 |
| [06:25] | All right, so let’s do it. | 好啊 那就这么干 |
| [06:27] | We just gotta think of a way to get them on board. | 我们想个法子让他们点头就行了 |
| [06:36] | Are you even still… | 你到底在不在想… |
| [06:37] | No, I was thinking we need more snacks down here. | 没 我在想地下室里该补点零食了 |
| [06:45] | I don’t really get your problem. | 我不是很明白你们的问题 |
| [06:47] | If you want your kids to have a normal day, | 如果你们想让孩子们过寻常的一天 |
| [06:48] | just force ’em. | 逼他们过就是了 |
| [06:49] | You can’t force your kids to be normal. | 哪有那么容易把他们逼成常人 |
| [06:52] | But you could bully ’em. | 但你不妨试试来硬的啊 |
| [06:53] | You used to be a great bully in high school. | 你上高中那会可真是称霸一方啊 |
| [06:56] | Yeah, but I’m different now. | 是 但我现在变了 |
| [06:57] | I’ve got 21. | 我玩出21点了 |
| [06:58] | Oh, look who can count. | 就你会数数 |
| [07:00] | Here, man. Dang. | 拿着 滚 |
| [07:03] | See? You still got it. | 看到没 你宝刀不老 |
| [07:06] | Mike doesn’t like it when I bully people, though. | 可是麦克不喜欢我对人霸道 |
| [07:08] | It reminds him of his bully in high school- – me. | 这样会让他想起他高中时代的恶霸 也就是我 |
| [07:12] | But you’re outnumbered over there now. | 可你现在寡不敌众 |
| [07:13] | You’re gonna have to do whatever it takes | 你得放手一搏 |
| [07:15] | to tilt the odds back into the house’s favor. | 把家里的局势扳回常态 |
| [07:18] | Yeah, I gotta stop being nice | 就算是为了他们着想 |
| [07:19] | – about it for their own good. – Thank you. | -我也不能再和颜悦色下去了 -这就对了 |
| [07:22] | – You know what I’m gonna do? – What? | -你知道我打算怎么做吗 -怎么做 |
| [07:23] | Tomorrow, I am forcing them to go somewhere that is fun, | 明天我要带他们去个 又好玩 |
| [07:27] | dumb and taught me everything I know. | 又蠢萌的地方 秀秀我的看家本领 |
| [07:30] | – The Boardwalk? – That’s right. | -海滩游乐园 -没错 |
| [07:32] | We’re gonna do the tilt-a-whirl | 我们要去坐旋转椅 |
| [07:33] | and eat funnel cake and ride the log flume | 吃漏斗蛋糕 玩激流勇进 |
| [07:36] | until we throw up a bunch of funnel cake. | 玩到把漏斗蛋糕吐出来为止 |
| [07:39] | But I need the time to work on my opera. | 但我需要时间写歌剧 |
| [07:41] | I’ve been a genius for a day and have accomplished nothing. | 我成为天才一整天了 但还一无所成 |
| [07:44] | Tomorrow you will accomplish whacking moles | 你明天的成就是 通关打地鼠 |
| [07:46] | and winning cheap stuffed animals, | 赢得廉价动物玩偶 |
| [07:47] | like we’re a normal family. | 正如寻常人家的孩子一般 |
| [07:49] | That doesn’t sound normal. It sounds trashy. | 这听起来一点也不寻常 这好脑残 |
| [07:52] | We live in Atlantic City. Normal is trashy. | 我们住在大西洋城 脑残最寻常了 |
| [07:56] | I think it sounds fun. | 我觉得听起来很好玩 |
| [07:59] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [08:01] | No, seriously, is it okay if I bring a friend? | 我是说真的 我可以带个朋友去吗 |
| [08:03] | Yes! | 可以 |
| [08:04] | Yes, of course. | 当然可以 |
| [08:07] | That’s such a… normal thing to do. | 这么做再寻常不过了 |
| [08:10] | He’s got a friend, just like the kids in the movies. | 他有朋友了 就像电影里那些酷小孩一样 |
| [08:13] | Hey, and if it gets you guys more excited about it, | 如果带个朋友能让你们热情更高涨 |
| [08:15] | you are welcome to bring friends, too. | 欢迎你们也携友出行 |
| [08:18] | My best friend’s already coming. | 我最好的朋友已经在这了 |
| [08:28] | Hey, Dad. | 嘿 老爸 |
| [08:29] | No! Stay back. | 站住 别过来 |
| [08:33] | I know you’re just gonna try to trick me | 我知道你又想骗我说出 |
| [08:34] | into spilling your IQs. | 你的智商是多少了 |
| [08:36] | No, I was just coming over to borrow the sunscreen. | 不是 我只是来借个防晒霜而已 |
| [08:39] | Someone’s paranoid. | 你真疑神疑鬼啊 |
| [08:41] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [08:42] | It’s a side effect of the medication I’m… vaping. | 这只是我吸入的…某种药品的副作用 |
| [08:48] | Yeah, no, we’re all good. | 没事 我没那个打算 |
| [08:50] | Mom told me Marc’s score, so… | 老妈都告诉我马科的智商了 |
| [08:51] | Yeah. No chance. | 怎么可能 |
| [08:53] | No, really, she did. | 真的 她告诉我了 |
| [08:54] | She told me he scored a 142. | 她说他智商142 |
| [08:55] | See, I know that’s not true, ’cause he scored a 156. | 你看吧 我就说不可能 他明明是156 |
| [09:03] | Damn it. Kay! | 完蛋了 凯 |
| [09:05] | I love you, Daddy. | 爱你哦 老爸 |
| [09:06] | – Hey, Mom. – Hey. | -早啊 老妈 -早 |
| [09:08] | Can you believe it? | 你能相信吗 |
| [09:09] | All of the kids are actually ready. | 所有孩子都准备好了 |
| [09:11] | I even got Marc to wear swim trunks. | 我甚至让马科穿上了泳裤 |
| [09:13] | I mean, he called them “Water khakis,” | 虽然他是称其为”水用卡其裤”啦 |
| [09:15] | but whatever, he’s wearing them. | 但无所谓 他穿上了 |
| [09:17] | So, as soon as Brian’s friend gets here, we can leave. | 所以 等布莱恩的朋友到了 我们就可以出发 |
| [09:20] | It is such a relief. | 真是松一口气 |
| [09:22] | I am so happy to know this family isn’t so far gone | 我真开心 知道这个家还没太病入膏肓 |
| [09:25] | we can’t have one normal day around here. | 我们还能过上一天的寻常生活 |
| [09:32] | – Hi, Mrs. Bennett. – Can I help you? | -你好 本奈特夫人 -有什么可以事吗 |
| [09:34] | – Stu- Stu! – Bri- Bri! | -斯图图 -小布布 |
| [09:41] | Dab! | 拍拍 |
| [09:46] | What is happening? | 这是什么情况 |
| [09:48] | I think we just met Brian’s friend. | 我觉得我们刚见到了布莱恩的朋友 |
| [09:56] | So, you’re the friend Brian is bringing | 所以你就是布莱恩邀请来 |
| [09:59] | on our “normal” family day. | 参加我们”寻常”家庭日的朋友 |
| [10:03] | How exactly do you two know each other? | 你们两个到底是怎么认识的 |
| [10:05] | From the Astronomical Society message boards. | 通过天文协会留言板 |
| [10:08] | And I know what you’re thinking. “How are these two friends?” | 我知道你在想什么 “这两人怎么会是朋友” |
| [10:13] | I mean, he does computational physics, | 我是说 他专攻计算物理学 |
| [10:16] | and I do theoretical physics. | 而我研究理论物理 |
| [10:18] | Like, what? | 天差地别嘛 |
| [10:21] | But I can’t thank you enough for inviting me, Mr. And Mrs. Bennett. | 但非常感谢你们邀请我 本奈特先生和夫人 |
| [10:24] | Mike and Kay would probably be less awkward for everyone. | 叫我们麦克和凯 可能会让大家没这么尴尬 |
| [10:27] | – Well, Mike… – I was wrong. | -好吧 麦克 -我错了 |
| [10:30] | I’ve just been so stressed waiting to hear about | 我最近一直在紧张等待着 |
| [10:32] | the application for the Princeton Physics Fellowship. | 普林斯顿物理奖学金的申请结果 |
| [10:34] | A day at the beach is exactly what I need. | 去海边玩一天正是我所需要的 |
| [10:38] | If we’re not leaving, | 如果我们不走 |
| [10:39] | I’m taking off my ocean slacks. | 我就要脱掉我的海滩休闲裤了 |
| [10:41] | Not in front of Stu! | 别在斯图面前脱 |
| [10:44] | I mean, uh, yes, yes, we are leaving, but, um… | 我是说 是的 我们要走 但是… |
| [10:49] | Your mom and I just need to talk to Brian alone for a minute. | 我和你妈妈要和布莱恩单独聊聊 |
| [10:51] | Oh, FYI, I have a severe nut allergy. | 对了 告诉你一声 我有严重的坚果过敏 |
| [10:55] | Here is my EpiPen. It’s better if you hold it. | 这是我的肾上腺素笔 最好让你拿着 |
| [10:58] | I always lose it, and I will need it. | 我总是弄丢 但我绝对会要用到的 |
| [11:08] | Listen, Bri, about your friend. | 听着 小布 关于你的朋友 |
| [11:09] | Stu can’t come. Your dad and I talked about it. | 斯图不能去 我和你爸谈过了 |
| [11:11] | I’ve been with you two since he got here. | 他进门之后 我一直和你们在一起 |
| [11:13] | How’d you “Talk” about it? | 你们哪有机会”谈”过了 |
| [11:14] | – With our eyes. – We can do that. | -用眼神交流 -我们有这绝招 |
| [11:17] | You’re both such hypocrites. | 你们真是伪君子 |
| [11:19] | You’re always telling me that I should try and make more friends. | 你们总是跟我说 我应该尝试多交朋友 |
| [11:21] | We meant normal friends. | 我们指的是正常的朋友 |
| [11:23] | The good kind who introduce you to drugs and alcohol. | 带你学会吸毒和喝酒的那种有益的朋友 |
| [11:26] | People your own age. | 和你同龄的朋友 |
| [11:28] | People my own age are boring and vapid. | 我的同龄人都无聊又无趣 |
| [11:30] | All they do is make penis jokes and Rick and Morty references. | 他们只会开老二的玩笑 或者引用《瑞克和莫蒂》的台词 |
| [11:33] | God, people his age sound awesome. | 天呐 他的同龄人听起来真棒 |
| [11:36] | We’re just trying to have one normal day around here. | 我们只是想过一天正常的生活 |
| [11:40] | Yeah, and- and Stu seems like a lot of things, | 是的 虽然斯图看起来有很多特点 |
| [11:42] | but normal ain’t one of them. | 但正常不是其中之一 |
| [11:45] | We’re sorry, Bri. | 很抱歉 小布 |
| [11:47] | Well, then, I’m sorry, too, ’cause if Stu can’t go, | 那我也很抱歉 因为如果斯图不能去 |
| [11:49] | then I don’t go, either. | 那我也不去了 |
| [11:50] | Oh, no, no. | 不 别给老娘来这套 |
| [11:53] | We make the threats in this house, buddy. | 在这个家里我们才能威胁别人 孩子 |
| [11:55] | And you are coming or else… | 你必须去 不然… |
| [11:58] | I will walk in there | 我就会进去 |
| [11:59] | and taint your results. | 玷污你的试验结果 |
| [12:02] | Do not make me taint. | 别逼我玷污它 |
| [12:06] | Oh, come on, man. Your mom just said “Taint.” | 拜托 孩子 你妈刚说了”玷污”欸 |
| [12:09] | Laugh. Be a kid. | 像个孩子一样笑一下嘛 |
| [12:11] | Go on, Mom. Might as well. | 去吧 老妈 无所谓了 |
| [12:14] | Who needs to prove a quantum vacuum in the universe | 谁需要证明宇宙中存在量子真空呢 |
| [12:18] | when there’s one right here in my heart? | 现在我心里就有一块空洞了 |
| [12:24] | What are we doing about Stu? | 我们该如何处置斯图 |
| [12:26] | Look, I am happy Brian has a friend, | 听着 我很高兴布莱恩有朋友 |
| [12:28] | but we are not bringing | 但我们不能带一个 |
| [12:29] | a random 35-year-old man to the boardwalk. | 陌生的35岁男人去海滩游乐园 |
| [12:32] | You’re supposed to meet | 你在海滩游乐园遇见 |
| [12:34] | random 35-year-old men at the boardwalk. | 陌生的35岁男人们才是正确操作 |
| [12:36] | We were different in high school. | 你我的高中生活大不相同啊 |
| [12:39] | Will you help me problem-solve? | 你能帮我解决问题吗 |
| [12:42] | You do what you do to think, | 你有你思考的方式 |
| [12:43] | I do what I do to think. | 我有我思考的方式 |
| [12:47] | Maybe we just bring him. | 也许我们就带他去 |
| [12:49] | This way we can drink, and he’ll drive us home. | 这样我们可以喝酒 他开车载我们回家 |
| [12:51] | Yeah. Drive us home. | 是啊 开车载我们回家 |
| [12:53] | Carry us upstairs. | 把我们扛到楼上 |
| [12:55] | Take off our skin. | 扒掉我们的皮 |
| [12:57] | Okay, there is no way that guy can carry us upstairs. | 别夸张了 那家伙才没力把我们扛上楼 |
| [13:03] | Just trying to find the upside here. | 我只是想找到这事好的一面 |
| [13:04] | We don’t need an upside. We need a solution. | 我们不需要好的一面 我们需要解决办法 |
| [13:08] | And he gave us the solution | 他给我们肾上腺素笔的时候 |
| [13:11] | when he gave us the EpiPen. | 就给了我们解决办法 |
| [13:17] | Hello, my deadly, honey-roasted friend. | 你好 我致命的蜜烤朋友 |
| [13:21] | Okay, we are not murdering Stu. | 好了 我们不能谋杀斯图 |
| [13:23] | You know what? I think I might know a way | 其实 我好像想到一个办法 |
| [13:27] | where Stu doesn’t come | 能让斯图不去 |
| [13:29] | and Brian doesn’t hate us for it. | 而且布莱恩也不会恨我们 |
| [13:30] | – What are you doing? – Avoiding a murder charge for my wife. | -你在干什么 -避免我妻子被起诉谋杀 |
| [13:33] | Hello, Stu? Hi. | 你好 斯图吗 嗨 |
| [13:35] | This is Doctor, uh, Doctorman | 我是…男博士博士 |
| [13:37] | from the Princeton Physics Fellowship. | 普林斯顿物理学奖学金处的 |
| [13:39] | Excellent news. You’ve been accepted. | 好消息 你的申请获批了 |
| [13:41] | Oh, my God, it’s happening! | 天啊 真的发生了 |
| [13:45] | Uh, we need you to come down | 我们需要你尽快 |
| [13:46] | to the campus as soon as possible… | 赶来学校… |
| [13:48] | No time to say bye. | 没时间告别了 |
| [13:50] | You have a lovely home. | 你们家很温馨 |
| [13:51] | I got a dream to live. | 我要去圆梦了 |
| [13:57] | I know it’s kind of weird, | 我知道这样怪怪的 |
| [13:58] | but I’m actually kind of happy for him. | 但我还真有点为他开心 |
| [14:04] | All right, everybody. Boardwalk ti… | 好了大家 海滩游乐园… |
| [14:07] | What the hell’s going on here? | 这是在闹哪出 |
| [14:08] | I’m helping Marc with his Oprah. | 我在帮马科写歌剧 |
| [14:11] | So, what, now you’re too smart for paper? | 怎么 你现在聪明到不能用纸写了吗 |
| [14:13] | Big ideas require a big canvas. | 伟大的创意需要用一块大画布描绘 |
| [14:15] | What if someone had told Michelangelo | 要是有人跟米开朗基罗说 |
| [14:17] | he couldn’t draw on the ceiling? | 他不能在天花板绘画 会怎样 |
| [14:19] | That’s ridiculous. | 别胡说了 |
| [14:20] | He lived in a sewer. | 他明明住在下水道里 |
| [14:24] | We’re not talking about the Ninja Turtle, are we? | 我们不是在讨论忍者神龟 对吧 |
| [14:27] | We’re never talking about the Ninja Turtle. | 我们怎么从来都不聊忍者神龟 |
| [14:30] | – You should get Nicole. – Yep. | -你去叫妮可吧 -好 |
| [14:32] | You had to drag your poor sister into this? | 你非要把你可怜的妹妹也扯进来吗 |
| [14:34] | It’s a privilege for the proletariat | 能为精英阶层服务 |
| [14:36] | to service the needs of the elite. | 是工人阶级的荣幸 |
| [14:38] | How did I give birth to Wikipedia? | 我是怎么生出一个维基百科的 |
| [14:42] | I’m a proto lariat. | 我是”拱人阶级” |
| [14:46] | Nicole! | 妮可 |
| [14:48] | Come on, we’re… | 出来啊 我们要… |
| [14:51] | “Question Six: Fluid Reasoning.” | “第六题 流体推理” |
| [14:54] | Young lady, are you taking a test behind our backs? | 小姑娘 你是不是在背着我们偷偷做测试 |
| [14:56] | Yeah, I found a site online to take the FISC. | 是的 我找到一个在线测智商的网站 |
| [14:59] | I know Marc’s score. Now I need to crush him. | 我知道马科的分数了 现在我要碾压他 |
| [15:01] | No, you don’t. | 不可以 |
| [15:03] | – Now turn that off. – No! | -把它关掉 -不要 |
| [15:04] | This is the only way for me | 只有这方法能让我 |
| [15:05] | to credibly exert intellectual dominance over this family. | 凭智力成为这个家令人信服的霸主 |
| [15:08] | I will not be a Salieri in my own home. | 我才不要当家里的萨列里[平庸者] |
| [15:10] | I don’t know what any of that means! | 你说的我一个字都没听懂 |
| [15:13] | I’m taking this. | 我要把这个拿走 |
| [15:22] | I was gonna storm off with this, | 我本来想抱着这个夺门而出 |
| [15:23] | but it’s probably easier if you just leave. | 但可能你出去简单点 |
| [15:28] | Slam the door behind you. | 记得摔门 |
| [15:31] | Thank you. | 谢啦 |
| [15:35] | Okay. I tried bullying, but I don’t think it worked. | 好了 我试过霸凌她 但我感觉没用 |
| [15:38] | Can you go talk to her and get her to like me again? | 你能找她谈谈 让她重新喜欢上我吗 |
| [15:42] | We got bigger problems. | 我们有更大的麻烦 |
| [15:43] | Stupid Princeton. | 普林斯顿大学蠢透了 |
| [15:45] | I applied to the same fellowship as Stu, | 我跟斯图申请了一样的奖学金 |
| [15:47] | which means he got in and I didn’t. | 这意味着他进入了 我却没有 |
| [15:49] | I’m never leaving this house again. | 我再也不要出门了 |
| [15:52] | Uh, I- I’m sure Princeton just hasn’t | 肯定是普林斯顿 |
| [15:53] | gotten around to calling you yet. | 还没来得及通知你 |
| [15:55] | They’re probably calling alphabetically. | 可能他们是按照姓氏首字母顺序打的电话 |
| [15:57] | His last name is Zycam. | 他的姓是Z开头的 |
| [16:00] | – Yeah, I can see that. – If the EpiPen fits. | -我看出来了 -肾上腺素笔上是这么写的 |
| [16:03] | Look, | 听着 |
| [16:04] | Brian, here’s the truth… | 布莱恩 跟你说实话吧… |
| [16:08] | Y- You got into the program! | 你也进入那个项目了 |
| [16:10] | – What? – Yeah. | -意外吧 -太棒了 |
| [16:12] | Wait. Are you guys just saying that | 等等 你们这么说 |
| [16:14] | so I’ll go to the boardwalk? | 是为了哄我去海滩游乐园吗 |
| [16:16] | How come I never got a call? | 我为什么没接到电话通知呢 |
| [16:17] | Because they sent a letter. | 因为他们是寄信通知的 |
| [16:20] | – I want to see it. – Of course. | -我想看看 -当然 |
| [16:23] | Honey? | 亲爱的 |
| [16:25] | Sure. | 没问题 |
| [16:27] | I’ll go get it. | 我去拿 |
| [16:28] | It was, uh, Dr. Doctorman, was it? | 是男博士博士寄来的 对吧 |
| [16:33] | And in the meantime, why don’t you go and get changed and… | 你要不趁这个时候去换身衣服… |
| [16:36] | Viva l’anarchia! | 无政府万岁[意大利语] |
| [16:38] | I’m just gonna ignore that. | 我就当没听到了 |
| [16:41] | Okay, that I can’t ignore. | 好吧 我没法再无视了 |
| [16:43] | Oh, my God. | 我的天呐 |
| [16:44] | Why are you destroying everything? | 你们为什么在拆房子 |
| [16:46] | I’m teaching Leila the concept of anarchy. | 我在教蕾拉无政府的概念 |
| [16:49] | Oh- – No, no, no. | 别 别 别 |
| [16:51] | – And I’m learning! – No- – Okay. | -我在学习 -别 好了 |
| [16:54] | All right, enough anarchy. | 好了 别搞什么无政府了 |
| [16:55] | Time to clean up. Come on. | 该收拾干净了 快点 |
| [16:57] | – 151? – Oh, God, what now? | -151 -天呐 又怎么了 |
| [16:59] | I scored five points lower than Marc? | 我竟然比马科低5分 |
| [17:03] | We unplugged your computer. How did you even finish the test? | 我拔了你的电脑插头 你是怎么把测试做完的 |
| [17:05] | I know how to build a computer. I’m not an idiot. | 我知道怎么造电脑啊 我又不是傻子 |
| [17:08] | I am so sorry, but your father accidentally shredded the- – | 真抱歉 但你爸不小心把信放到碎纸机里了 |
| [17:11] | Oh, my God, what is happening now? | 天呐 这是怎么回事 |
| [17:14] | How could you? | 你怎么能这么对我 |
| [17:15] | You’ve known for years I’m just a 151 and never told me? | 你几年前就知道我的智商只有151却一直隐瞒我 |
| [17:18] | She took a FISC test. | 她做了智商测试 |
| [17:19] | Okay. Okay, relax. | 好了 好了 放松 |
| [17:21] | That test isn’t even right. | 那个测试根本不准 |
| [17:23] | When you took the test the first time, you got a 153. | 你第一次的测试结果是153 |
| [17:26] | So I’m getting stupider? | 所以我变笨了吗 |
| [17:28] | No, no, that’s not what I’m saying… | 不 不 我不是这个意思… |
| [17:29] | What is this? This is not my letter. | 这是什么 这才不是我的通知信 |
| [17:31] | This is lyrics for some lame song. | 这是一首烂歌的歌词 |
| [17:33] | Hey. “Closing Time” Is not lame. | 《打烊时刻》才不是烂歌 |
| [17:36] | – Come here, come here. Stop… – So you lied to me? | -过来 过来 站住… -所以你骗了我吗 |
| [17:38] | There’s no letter? | 根本没有通知信 |
| [17:39] | I- I don’t know what’s real anymore. | 我不知道世界上还有什么是真实的了 |
| [17:40] | Exactly. We’re all in a simulation | 说得没错 我们都生活在一个模拟环境里 |
| [17:44] | or something that gets me out of this. | 或是能让我摆脱这一切的地方 |
| [17:46] | Just face it. | 面对现实吧 |
| [17:48] | We’re both dumb and it’s their fault. | 我们都是笨蛋 而这一切都是他们的错 |
| [17:50] | They’re destroying our brain cells with funnel cake. | 他们用漏斗蛋糕破坏我们的脑细胞 |
| [17:52] | I am not going to the boardwalk. | 我才不要去海滩游乐园 |
| [17:54] | Me, neither. Me, either. Me, either. | 我也不去 我也不要去 我也表去 |
| [17:57] | Look what you did! | 瞧你干了什么好事 |
| [17:59] | – Hey, come back! – No, it’s fine. | -给我回来 -不 没关系 |
| [18:01] | Let them go. This whole thing was a stupid idea anyway. | 随他们吧 反正这主意本来就蠢透了 |
| [18:05] | I’m just gonna go downstairs and take a long, sad bath. | 我要到楼下好好泡个悲伤的澡 |
| [18:09] | Oh, babe. | 可是宝贝 |
| [18:10] | W-We don’t have a bathtub downstairs. | 楼下没有浴缸 |
| [18:13] | That’s what makes it so sad. | 所以才悲伤啊 |
| [18:17] | I’m learning! | 我在学习 |
| [18:27] | I can’t believe I got outfoxed by two boardwalking simpletons. | 我居然被两个爱去游乐园的傻子耍了 |
| [18:31] | Hey, show some respect. | 给我放尊重点 |
| [18:33] | Two of you were conceived at the boardwalk. | 你们之中有两人就是在游乐园怀上的 |
| [18:35] | I am not gonna say which two. | 我不会说出是谁 |
| [18:37] | Under the pier, back of the tramcar. | 一个在码头底下 一个在电车后座 |
| [18:41] | – We’re not talking to you. – Yeah, I- I know. | -我们不想跟你说话 -我知道 |
| [18:43] | We shouldn’t have lied to you about Princeton. | 普林斯顿的事我们不该骗你 |
| [18:46] | And, Nicole, maybe you’re right. | 妮可 也许你是对的 |
| [18:47] | Maybe we should’ve told you your IQs a long time ago. | 或许我们早该告诉你 你智商是多少 |
| [18:49] | Honestly, I don’t know. | 老实说 我不知道 |
| [18:52] | There aren’t many books written | 没有多少书籍 |
| [18:53] | about how to raise three genius kids. | 是教人如何养育三个天才孩子的 |
| [18:56] | Well, a-actually there are. | 好吧 其实有的 |
| [18:57] | They’re just super long. | 只是那些书都好厚哦 |
| [19:03] | All your mom and I can do is wing it and try our best. | 我和妈妈只能硬着头皮上 尽我们所能 |
| [19:06] | We sacrifice our time, our money, | 我们牺牲了时间 金钱 |
| [19:09] | our walls… | 还有墙壁 |
| [19:11] | to give you guys every chance to make the most of your gifts. | 让你们利用一切机会 充分发挥天赋 |
| [19:16] | And today, all Mom wanted in return was four hours. | 今天 妈妈想要的回报不过是四小时 |
| [19:21] | And I actually thought you guys were mature enough to do it. | 我还以为你们足够懂事 愿意满足她 |
| [19:26] | I guess not. | 看来并非如此 |
| [19:31] | You know, for as smart as you guys are, | 虽然你们智商很高 |
| [19:35] | you’re just a bunch of dummies. | 但其实你们只是一群笨蛋 |
| [19:42] | Is he mad? | 他是不是生气了 |
| [19:44] | It feels like he’s mad, but he didn’t yell. | 感觉他是生气了 但他没吼我们 |
| [19:48] | It doesn’t make sense. | 这不合理 |
| [19:49] | It’s just the beach. What’s the big deal? | 不过是去海滩而已 有什么大不了 |
| [19:51] | I guess Mom just wanted to do something | 我猜妈妈只是想换换样 |
| [19:53] | she likes for a change, since it’s her birthday. | 做些她喜欢的事 因为今天是她生日 |
| [19:56] | – What? – It’s Mom’s birthday? | -什么 -今天是妈妈的生日吗 |
| [20:00] | I- I thought it was in March. | 她生日不是三月吗 |
| [20:02] | Or October? | 还是十月 |
| [20:04] | I didn’t even know Mom had a birthday. | 我都不知道妈妈有生日 |
| [20:07] | She has one every year. | 她每年都有一次生日的 |
| [20:09] | Stars, they’re just like us. | 天上的星星 其实跟我们没两样 |
| [20:12] | How could we not remember this? | 我们怎么能不记得她的生日 |
| [20:14] | We’re so self-obsessed we can’t even reremember | 我们太以自我为中心了 |
| [20:16] | our own mother’s birthday. | 连妈妈的生日都忘记 |
| [20:18] | Except for Leila. | 除了蕾拉 |
| [20:19] | I’m a proto lariat. | 我是”拱人阶级”嘛 |
| [20:23] | So, what do we do now? | 我们该怎么办 |
| [20:29] | You know, I actually thought today was going to be fun. | 我本来真以为今天会很开心的 |
| [20:32] | Maybe we’ll try again at some point. | 要不我们以后再找机会试试 |
| [20:34] | Think the boardwalk will still be there in ten years? | 你觉得十年后海滩游乐园还在不在 |
| [20:37] | Not if Brian’s climate change models are right. | 如果布莱恩的气候变化模型正确 就不在了 |
| [20:40] | But this might make you feel better. | 但这个也许能让你开心点 |
| [20:44] | Look who I got working again. | 你看我把谁修好啦 |
| [20:48] | Holy hell! | 我勒个大操 |
| [20:58] | I lost the only son I ever understood. | 我失去了我唯一懂得的儿子 |
| [21:01] | Mommy! | 妈妈 |
| [21:03] | Marc was standing on the chair writing his Oprah | 马科本来站在椅子上写歌剧 |
| [21:05] | and then he fell and is screaming a lot. | 结果他摔下来了 现在在大叫 |
| [21:07] | Can we get a new brother? | 我们能换个新兄弟吗 |
| [21:14] | What happened to the tarp? | 防水布去哪里了 |
| [21:21] | This is opera? It’s not so bad. | 这是歌剧吗 还挺好听的嘛 |
| [21:28] | What is all this? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [21:30] | We know we screwed up and missed the chance to go to the boardwalk, | 我们知道自己搞砸了 来不及去海滩游乐园 |
| [21:32] | so we brought the boardwalk here. | 所以我们就把游乐园带来了 |
| [21:34] | And we ordered funnel cakes. | 我们还点了漏斗蛋糕 |
| [21:36] | Luckily, I already had the UV lights for my experiment, | 幸运的是 我已经装上了试验用到的紫外灯 |
| [21:38] | so we’re getting the same amount of cancer we’d get | 所以我们在这里被照射致癌的程度 |
| [21:40] | from being outside. | 跟在室外一样 |
| [21:44] | We’re sorry about the way we acted today. | 很抱歉我们今天态度这么恶劣 |
| [21:46] | – Happy birthday, Mom. – We love you. | -生日快乐 妈妈 -我们爱你 |
| [21:47] | Happy birthday! | 生日快乐 |
| [21:48] | Thank you, this is so sweet. | 谢谢你们 这太有爱了 |
| [21:53] | This is so bizarre. | 这太诡异了 |
| [21:54] | Why do they think it’s my birthday? | 他们为什么认为今天是我生日 |
| [21:56] | Daddy told me to tell them. | 爸爸叫我告诉他们的 |
| [21:59] | It’s called a scheme. | 这叫智取 |
| [22:02] | You outsmarted the smart ones. | 你居然骗过了那些高智商孩子 |
| [22:06] | Score one for the dummies. | 笨蛋组得一分 |
| [22:08] | Yep. I used guilt. | 没错 我利用了他们的愧疚 |
| [22:10] | It’s bullying from the heart. | 这叫霸凌他们的内心 |
| [22:13] | But I did not expect them to do all this. | 但我没料到他们会做这些 |
| [22:16] | Well, I love it. | 我好喜欢 |
| [22:18] | I just don’t know how you’re gonna top this | 但我不知道到我真正生日那天 |
| [22:20] | for my real birthday. | 你如何才能超越这次 |
| [22:20] | Oh, no, this is your birthday now. | 不 你的生日以后都改为今天了 |
| [22:25] | – Who is that? – No clue. | -谁啊 -不知道 |
| [22:26] | It’s been the same number calling for hours. | 同一个号码 连续打来好几小时了 |
| [22:28] | It’s probably spam. I am just gonna turn it off. | 八成是垃圾电话 我关机好了 |
| [22:33] | Okay, my turn! | 好 到我了 |
| [22:38] | Hey, it’s Mike. Leave a message. | 你好 我是麦克 请留言 |
| [22:41] | Hi! Dr Doctorman. | 你好呀 男博士博士 |
| [22:43] | This is Stu, again. | 又是我 斯图 |
| [22:45] | I’ve been outside of the physics building for a few hours. | 我已经在物理大楼外面站了好几小时了 |
| [22:48] | It’s locked. | 门锁了 |
| [22:49] | But I won’t move until I hear from you. | 但和你通上话之前我是不会离开的 |