时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:14] | What’s that sad bounce house for? | 这个可悲的蹦蹦床是用来干什么的 |
[00:18] | That is an air mattress. | 那是充气床垫 |
[00:19] | And I think we all know what it’s for. | 我想我们都知道爸为什么要拿出来 |
[00:21] | Marital strife. | 因为跟妈妈吵架了 |
[00:24] | Not this time. | 傻了吧 这次不是哦 |
[00:27] | Nope. | 没错 |
[00:28] | Actually, the air mattress is for Nicole. | 实际上 这充气床是给妮可睡的 |
[00:30] | You’re sleeping in Marc and Leila’s room for a few days | 你得在马科和蕾拉的房间里打地铺睡上几天 |
[00:32] | because… | 因为 |
[00:34] | Grandma and Grandpa are coming. Yay! | 爷爷奶奶要来啦 耶 |
[00:40] | Seriously? It’s like being visited by two time travelers | 认真的吗 那简直像有两个时空旅行者来家里造访 |
[00:43] | here to tell us which stores used to be other stores. | 告诉我们某些商店曾经是哪些商店 |
[00:47] | All right, okay, listen. | 好吧 听着 |
[00:49] | I-I know having them here isn’t always easy… | 我知道他们来了可能会让我们的日子有些难熬 |
[00:51] | But you have to understand they come from a generation | 但你们必须理解 他们生活的那个时代 |
[00:54] | where food and criticism are how you show love. | 食物和批评是表现爱的方式 |
[00:58] | Let’s be honest. | 说实话吧 |
[01:00] | Thanks to technology, | 多亏了科技的发展 |
[01:01] | the oral tradition that once made Grandma and Grandpa relevant | 曾让爷爷奶奶有着巨大作用的口述传统 |
[01:04] | has been rendered obsolete. | 已经被作废了 |
[01:06] | They’re the AOL of people. | 他们就是人类版的在线广播 淘汰了 |
[01:10] | They do make weird sounds when starting up. | 他们”启动”的时候的确会发出怪声 |
[01:15] | And they love telling us when we have mail. | 且我们收到邮件时 他们会兴奋地跑来告诉我们 |
[01:17] | But that’s helpful. | 但那很有帮助啊 |
[01:19] | Yes. I think there’s still a lot Grandma and Grandpa can teach us. | 是啊 我觉得爷爷奶奶还有很多东西可以教我们 |
[01:25] | Thanks, buddy. | 谢谢你 小家伙 |
[01:26] | They will likely be our introduction to death. | 他们很可能是带我们了解死亡的导师 |
[01:31] | You guys don’t enjoy it when they’re here, either. | 他们来了 你们也不开心啊 |
[01:33] | Last time they came, Mom broke out a puzzle | 他们上次来的时候 妈妈拼好了一个拼图 |
[01:35] | and you left to go watch the sunset. | 你离开家门去看日落了 |
[01:37] | It was 8:00 A.M. | 那可是早上8点 |
[01:41] | When are they coming? | 他们什么时候来 |
[01:42] | Well… | 这个嘛… |
[01:48] | Bang. You’re all dead. | 砰 你们都死了 |
[01:52] | House full of geniuses, | 一家子的天才 |
[01:53] | nobody thinks to lock the front door? | 却没人想到要把大门锁上吗 |
[01:56] | Also, you’ve got mail. | 还有 你们收到邮件了 |
[01:59] | 伊森泽生 Funky 翻译 | |
[02:00] | 驴驴 克里斯 翻译 | |
[02:01] | Santolalla Eunice | 翻译 |
[02:04] | 雷鸣 后期 | |
[02:05] | Eunice | 总监 |
[02:09] | Sylvia! Jay. | 希尔维亚 杰 |
[02:14] | There he is. | 儿子在这呢 |
[02:14] | How was the flight from Boca? | 从博卡飞来这一路怎么样 |
[02:16] | Confusing. | 令人困惑 |
[02:17] | I sat next to something called an emotional support duck. | 我旁边坐着的竟然是一只「情绪支持鸭」 |
[02:22] | I’m telling you, the world has gone nuts. | 我跟你说 世界简直是疯了 |
[02:24] | Your kids’ futures are in the hands of people | 你这几个孩子的未来掌控在那些 |
[02:27] | who fly around with ducks in little red vests. | 带着穿红背心的鸭子到处飞的人手里 |
[02:30] | Yeah. In my day, | 是啊 我们那个时候 |
[02:31] | ducks used to wear a jacket and tie when they flew on a plane. | 鸭子乘飞机 都是穿夹克衫打领带的 |
[02:35] | That’s pretty good. | 这笑话很好笑啊 |
[02:36] | Kay tell you to say that? | 是凯教你说的吗 |
[02:38] | Look at these angels. | 看看这些小天使 |
[02:40] | Ooh, I just want to dunk you in sangria | 我真想把你们丢进桑格利亚酒里 |
[02:42] | and drink you up. | 然后喝掉 |
[02:44] | Here’s my boy Marcadine. Huh? | 这是我的小宝贝马科丁 对吧 |
[02:46] | And Brian. Put her there, baby. Put her there. | 以及布莱恩 来握个手 宝贝 握个手 |
[02:51] | What is that, like, a bag of coleslaw? | 你的手是软弱无力的细麻杆吗 |
[02:53] | Come on. Don’t they teach you | 拜托 那个高级私立学校 |
[02:54] | how to shake hands at that fancy private school of yours? | 难道没有教你们该怎么握手吗 |
[02:57] | That’s next semester. | 那是下个学期要学的 |
[02:58] | Right now we’re focusing on eye contact | 目前我们主要教怎么进行眼神接触 |
[03:00] | and comfort around groups of two or more. | 以及在两个或以上人群周围怎么保持自在 |
[03:04] | You’re wasting your money on that private school. | 你们把孩子送去私立学校简直是浪费钱 |
[03:06] | And by the way, I just taught him how to shake hands. | 顺便说下 我刚教他怎么握手了 |
[03:09] | That’ll be 30 grand, please. | 麻烦给我三万块 谢了 |
[03:12] | Hush up, Jay. | 闭嘴吧 杰 |
[03:13] | You know, I brag to my friends all the time | 我经常向我的朋友们吹嘘 |
[03:16] | about how brilliant you three are. | 你们三个有多聪明 |
[03:18] | Let me see you do something smart for Grandma. | 来给奶奶表演个天才小绝招吧 |
[03:21] | What number am I thinking of right now? | 我现在大脑中在想的数字是几 |
[03:28] | 7 Seven. | |
[03:29] | Oh, my God! My brilliant grandchildren! | 天呐 我的天才乖孙儿们 |
[03:34] | It was three. I felt bad. | 其实是3 我良心难安 |
[03:36] | There’s my little featherweight, huh? | 这不是我的小甜心嘛 |
[03:38] | Come over here. | 过来 |
[03:39] | Let me see you put that left hook right on Grandpa’s chin. | 来个左勾拳打在爷爷的下巴上 |
[03:41] | Go ahead. | 来吧 |
[03:44] | Yeah, we’re-we’re trying to cut back on the violence. | 那个 我们在努力减少她的暴力行为 |
[03:47] | Apparently, during recess, | 显然 在休息时间当中 |
[03:48] | she organized a fight club. | 她组织了一个搏击俱乐部 |
[03:50] | Nicole, look at you. | 妮可 瞧瞧你 |
[03:52] | So gorgeous. | 多俊俏 |
[03:53] | You don’t need a brain when you’re this pretty. | 这么漂亮的姑娘头脑不聪明也无妨 |
[03:57] | I’m a three-time regional debate champion, | 我拿过三次地区辩论冠军 |
[03:59] | and I don’t know how to respond to that. | 却不知道这话该怎么接 |
[04:02] | What I do is say nothing. | 我的做法是一言不发 |
[04:04] | Then get too drunk at Thanksgiving and say everything. | 然后感恩节喝烂醉 把一肚子话都吐出来 |
[04:07] | Anyway, Dad, uh, | 对了 爸 |
[04:09] | I know how much you miss Wawa, | 我知道你可想念瓦瓦便利店了 |
[04:11] | so I picked up a bunch of subs for dinner. | 所以我买了不少潜艇三明治 晚餐吃 |
[04:13] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么呢 |
[04:15] | You can’t have lunch meat for dinner. | 晚餐吃什么午餐肉 |
[04:17] | What is this, an AA meeting? | 你当家里是戒酒互助会吗 |
[04:19] | Oh, what, are you kidding? No way. | 你在开玩笑吗 没门 |
[04:21] | We’re having steaks. | 我们得吃真正的牛排 |
[04:23] | Oh, look at that. I got– | 你们瞧 我去了… |
[04:25] | I got the best butcher in Florida. Huh? | 我去了佛罗里达最好的肉店 |
[04:27] | Your mother thought I was crazy packing frozen steaks | 你妈还觉得我往随身行李里塞冻牛排 |
[04:30] | in my carry-on. | 简直是疯了 |
[04:32] | Who’s crazy now, lady? | 到底谁疯了 这位女士 |
[04:35] | I love it when my family is all together. | 我喜欢我的家人团聚 |
[04:38] | I agree. It’s a nice moment. I’ll miss this. | 我同意 这样很温馨 我会怀念的 |
[04:41] | Oh, Markie, we’re gonna be here the whole week. | 科科 我们要在这待一整个星期呢 |
[04:44] | I meant when you’re dead. | 我是指等你去世后再怀念 |
[04:48] | Who wants to do a puzzle? | 谁想来拼拼图啊 |
[04:58] | Oh, you finally got around to all that nailing scraps | 你找借口说有一直想钉的木板碎料 |
[05:00] | of wood you’ve been meaning to do. | 可总算是脱身了 |
[05:03] | I needed a break from my dad. | 我得逃离我爸一会 |
[05:05] | You know, I drove a half hour to get those subs, | 我开了半小时车才买到那些三明治 |
[05:07] | and he just pulls out some luggage meat | 他却从行李里拿出一堆肉 |
[05:09] | and expects me to fire up the grill? | 还让我把烤架生上火 |
[05:11] | I mean, he was barely through the door and already | 他才进门没多久 就开始指责我本人 |
[05:13] | criticizing me, my parenting, my subs. | 我的教育方式还有我的三明治 |
[05:18] | I feel bad for the duck | 我同情在飞机上 |
[05:18] | who had to sit next to him on the plane. | 坐他旁边的那只鸭子 |
[05:21] | I hope that duck has its own duck. | 但愿那只鸭也有自己的情绪支持鸭 |
[05:24] | It’s like nothing I do is right. | 我好像做什么都不对 |
[05:26] | And it’s been like that my whole life. | 而且我活到现在一直如此 |
[05:27] | You know, in high schohool, I wanted to play soccer. | 上高中的时候 我想踢足球 |
[05:30] | He made me play football because… | 他却让我打橄榄球 因为… |
[05:32] | Soccer? | 足球 |
[05:34] | Soccer’s for commies and failed placekickers. | 踢足球的不是共党就是连定位球都踢不好的人 |
[05:38] | Yeah. Well, in your dad’s defense, | 好吧 替你爸说句话 |
[05:40] | being married to your mom for 40 years | 他和你妈结婚40年了 |
[05:42] | probably broke his brain. | 脑子可能早就气坏了 |
[05:44] | Do not make me choose between you and my mom | 别让我在你和我妈之间为难 |
[05:46] | because… you’ll win, but you might not cover the spread. | 因为 肯定是你赢 但你未必能收拾好残局 |
[05:51] | Any time she gets me alone, | 但凡她有机会跟我独处 |
[05:52] | all she does is grill me about you. | 她准会拿你的事来问东问西 |
[05:54] | How’s he sleeping? | 他睡眠怎么样 |
[05:56] | Does he wear a jacket? Is he having foot pain? | 他穿不穿外套 他脚痛不痛 |
[06:00] | Good. When it’s cold. | 睡眠很好 天冷时会穿 |
[06:01] | And not since she sent me the insoles. | 她寄来鞋垫后脚就不痛了 |
[06:03] | I don’t want to talk about your stupid feet. | 我才不想跟她聊你的破脚呢 |
[06:06] | But no matter what I say, she somehow always | 可是无论我说什么 她总有办法 |
[06:09] | brings it back to you. | 把话题扯回你身上 |
[06:10] | One time I mentioned tampons, | 有次我跟她提起卫生棉条 |
[06:12] | and she got it back to you in 11 words. | 她仅用11个字 就又扯回你身上了 |
[06:15] | How’d she do that? | 她怎么做到的 |
[06:18] | Never mind. I got it. | 不用你说 我知道了 |
[06:22] | We should get back up there. | 我们该回楼上去了 |
[06:24] | The kids are alone with your parents, | 孩子们在和你爸妈独处呢 |
[06:25] | probably racking up thousands of dollars | 我们以后可能要多花几千块钱 |
[06:27] | in future therapy. | 给他们看心理医生了 |
[06:29] | Oh, hey, let’s look on the bright side. | 我们往好的方面想想 |
[06:31] | I mean, I never even knew my grandparents. | 我根本都不认识我爷爷奶奶 |
[06:33] | I mean, we should feel lucky that we still have… | 既然还有机会 我们应该… |
[06:36] | What the hell is a kale chip? | 羽衣甘蓝脆片是什么玩意 |
[06:43] | Two nails left. One for you, one for me. | 还剩两颗钉 你钉一颗 我钉一颗 |
[06:53] | Kay, there you are. | 凯 你来了 |
[06:56] | Sit your tush. | 乖乖坐好 |
[06:58] | We need to talk, just us girls. | 我们得聊聊 就我们婆媳俩 |
[07:00] | So… how’s my boy? | 我家儿子还好吗 |
[07:04] | Wearing plenty of jackets, Syl. | 穿了好几件外套呢 希尔 |
[07:06] | Oh, good. And… | 挺好 那… |
[07:08] | Feet are much better since the insoles. | 自从鞋垫寄来 脚没再痛过 |
[07:10] | Arches like a ballerina, that one. | 那家伙脚背像芭蕾舞女演员一样娇贵呢 |
[07:12] | – And is he… – Hey. | -他有没有… -嘿 |
[07:13] | That is a lovely jacket. | 你这件外套真好看 |
[07:15] | Where did you get that from? | 你从哪买的 |
[07:17] | Oh, I got it at an after-Christmas sale. | 我在圣诞节后促销买的 |
[07:20] | Those are always a gamble. | 买那些特价衣服就像赌博一样 |
[07:21] | Of course, you know about that from your job at the casino. | 你肯定明白 你就在赌场工作 |
[07:25] | Which reminds me, how is work for Mike? | 说到工作 麦克的工作怎么样 |
[07:29] | Mom, Grandpa sent me in to bring him a beer | 妈 爷爷让我给他拿一瓶啤酒 |
[07:31] | because he says it tastes better when a woman brings it to him. | 因为他说女人拿给他的啤酒更好喝 |
[07:36] | I taught him that. | 那句话是我教他的 |
[07:37] | It’s important to keep them helpless. | 一定要让男人一直依赖你 |
[07:41] | You know, why don’t I bring it to him, | 这样吧 我给他拿啤酒 |
[07:43] | and, Nicole, you can stay here | 妮可 你可以在这 |
[07:45] | and fill in Grandma on what Dad’s been doing. | 跟奶奶聊聊爸爸最近在做什么 |
[07:47] | But I want to see Grandpa’s face when we finish the puzzle | 但我想看爷爷把拼图拼完 |
[07:49] | and he sees that the Earth is round. | 发现地球是圆的时 脸上是什么表情 |
[07:54] | I heard daughters who take one for the team | 我听说愿意牺牲自我 成全全家的女儿 |
[07:57] | sometimes get their bedrooms back. | 会重新得到卧室 |
[08:00] | I see your bribe and raise you that blazer I wanted. | 除了你的贿赂 还要再加那件我想要的西服外套 |
[08:03] | Done. You’re slipping. | 成交 你失策了 |
[08:04] | You could have had me for the full pantsuit. | 你本来可以要到整套套装的 |
[08:07] | You could have had me for just the bedroom. | 你本来只用还我卧室的 |
[08:11] | Damn it. | 该死的 |
[08:12] | Kay! | 凯 |
[08:13] | You forgot Jay’s beer. | 你忘给杰拿啤酒了 |
[08:15] | Yeah, I’m not doing that. | 是的 我没打算拿 |
[08:21] | Hey, buddy, why don’t you come help us with the puzzle? | 小家伙 你要来帮我们拼拼图[谜团]吗 |
[08:25] | No puzzle is quite so fascinating as the final puzzle. | 没有任何拼图比那个终极谜团更吸引人 |
[08:29] | Death. | 死亡 |
[08:37] | That’s a real spooky kid you got there, son. | 你这个孩子可真吓人啊 儿子 |
[08:40] | Geez. So, Bri, | 天呐 小布 |
[08:42] | tell me, how’s it going with the girls? | 跟我说说 跟女孩子相处得怎么样 |
[08:43] | You driving ’em wild? | 她们有为你痴狂吗 |
[08:45] | I’m not sure, ’cause I’ve never spoken to them. | 我不知道 因为我从没跟她们说过话 |
[08:49] | Well, that’s all gonna change now that you’re driving. | 你现在会开车了 情况就不一样了 |
[08:52] | Oh, I’m not driving. | 我不会开车 |
[08:54] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么呢 |
[08:55] | We don’t need to get into that. Oh, hey, Dad, | 我们不要谈那个话题了 对了爸爸 |
[08:57] | was that CVS that looks like a movie theater always a CVS? | 那家看着像影院的药店一直都是药店吗 |
[09:02] | Oh, no, no. First it was a Gimbels… | 不 一开始是金斯兄弟百货商场… |
[09:04] | Don’t bait me with store talk. | 别引诱我谈商店话题 |
[09:08] | I want to ar about this thing. | 我要听这件事 |
[09:09] | I’m not driving until I’m 25. | 我在25岁之前都不会开车的 |
[09:11] | That’s when the limbic system is developed enough | 那时大脑边缘系统才会完全发育好 |
[09:13] | to fully process risk. | 可以全面处理危险情况 |
[09:16] | You know, with all the science in that sentence, | 你刚才说的话虽然有那么多科学术语 |
[09:18] | it’s still the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. | 但仍然是我听过最蠢的话 |
[09:21] | Well, if getting around is the concern, | 如果你是担心我出行的问题 |
[09:23] | I have that taken care of. | 我有解决办法 |
[09:24] | Oh, no, no, no, hold on. | 不不不 等一下 |
[09:25] | We don’t need to show Grandpa that. | 不用给爷爷看那个的 |
[09:26] | Show Grandpa what? | 给我看什么 |
[09:28] | This is the future of transportation. | 这就是未来的交通工具 |
[09:32] | That is the future of dying a virgin. | 他骑着这玩意 到死那天都还是处男 |
[09:35] | I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes. | 我知道你们在想什么 没错 |
[09:38] | This is a wearable airbag. | 这的确是可穿的安全气囊 |
[09:44] | You’re okay with this? | 他这样你没意见吗 |
[09:46] | “Okay” is a strong word. | “没意见”这个词太重了 |
[09:48] | Son, a man has to drive. | 儿子 男人必须会开车 |
[09:51] | You can’t take a girl to the drive-in in an Uber. | 总不能带女孩坐优步去汽车影院啊 |
[09:54] | I mean, how’s that supposed to work? | 那还怎么约会 |
[09:55] | “Honey, I’m gonna go get some popcorn. | “亲爱的 我要去买点爆米花 |
[09:57] | Anything for you, Viktor?” | 你要吃什么吗 司机维克多” |
[10:00] | He doesn’t want to learn how to drive. Okay? | 他不想学开车 好吗 |
[10:02] | And I’m not gonna force my kids | 我不会强迫我的孩子 |
[10:03] | to do something they don’t want to do. | 做他们不想做的事 |
[10:04] | Okay, fine. If you can’t handle it, | 好吧 如果你做不到 |
[10:06] | I’ll take care of it. | 那我来出马 |
[10:07] | – Whoa, h-hold on, hold on. – What? | -等一下 等一下 -怎么了 |
[10:08] | No, you’re-you’re not teaching my kid how to drive. | 不 你不能教我的孩子开车 |
[10:11] | If anyone is teaching him, it’s gonna be me. | 如果要教 也该由我来教 |
[10:13] | Sure you are. | 你当然”有资格”教啦 |
[10:13] | That’s almost as funny as Kay’s duck joke. | 这个笑话几乎有凯的鸭子笑话那么好笑 |
[10:16] | No. No, no, no, I’m doing it. Okay? | 不不 我来教 知道吗 |
[10:19] | Hey, Bri, you hear that, buddy? | 小布 你听到了吗 孩子 |
[10:21] | – Your dad’s teaching you to drive. – What? | -你爸要教你怎么开车 -什么 |
[10:28] | Boy, you’re off to a bang-up start, huh? | 孩子 你这算是开[撞]门红啊 |
[10:32] | You got a, uh, pocket knife to pop your son? | 你有没有折叠刀 把你儿子救出来 |
[10:35] | Of course you don’t. | 你肯定没有 |
[10:41] | Hey. How’d you get rid of Grandma? | 你怎么摆脱奶奶的 |
[10:43] | Did you tell her Michael Bublé’s signing CDs at the Barnes & Noble? | 你是告诉她巴诺书店有麦可·布雷的签名唱片吗 |
[10:48] | No. She’s making us a nail appointment. | 不是 她给我们预约了美甲 |
[10:51] | Oh, sweetie, no. | 亲爱的 不 |
[10:52] | You will be strapped to a spa chair | 你会困在水疗椅上 |
[10:54] | while Grandma grills you about Dad. | 不得不听奶奶拷问你你爸的事 |
[10:56] | That is not a nail appointment, that’s a hostage situation. | 那不是做美甲 那是挟持人质 |
[11:00] | Actually, she’s barely mentioned Dad. | 事实上 她都没怎么提过老爸 |
[11:02] | Really? | 真的 |
[11:04] | So what have you been talking about this whole time? | 那你们这段时间都在谈什么 |
[11:06] | A lot of things. Her life, my life. | 许多事情 她的生活 我的生活 |
[11:09] | We called her friend Margee. She’s a real hoot. | 我们给她朋友玛姬打了电话 她可逗了 |
[11:12] | That’s a phrase I picked up from Margee. | 这个词我还是跟玛姬学的 |
[11:16] | Good news. | 好消息 |
[11:17] | My nail lady Carmela’s out on parole, and she can fit us in. | 我的美甲师卡米拉获得保释了 她能给我们排时间 |
[11:21] | Then you can finish your story about Kevin Slattery. | 你可以讲完凯文·斯莱特里的故事了 |
[11:26] | Who’s Kevin Slattery? | 凯文·斯莱特里是谁 |
[11:28] | Oh, nobody. Grandma. | 谁也不是 奶奶 |
[11:31] | Oh, right. | 对哦 |
[11:35] | We should go anyway. | 我们该走了 |
[11:36] | When we’re done at Carmela’s, I booked us a spray tan. | 我们在卡米拉那做完指甲 我还约了做美黑 |
[11:39] | I know a guy who does it cheap | 我认识个人挺便宜的 |
[11:40] | in the parking lot of a funeral home. | 他就在殡仪馆的停车场做 |
[11:47] | So you’re mad that your daughter | 你因为你女儿跟她奶奶 |
[11:49] | is spending quality time with her grandmother? | 一起玩得很开心而不爽吗 |
[11:51] | No, I’m mad they’re doing it without me. | 不 我是气她们不带上我 |
[11:54] | I mean, do I not look like someone who wants | 我看着不像 |
[11:56] | to get a spray tan in a parking lot? | 想在停车场做美黑的人吗 |
[11:58] | I am Jersey trash. That’s all I want. | 我可是泽西垃圾 我就好这口 |
[12:01] | Your favorite food is wine coolers. | 你最爱的食物是冰镇果酒 |
[12:02] | No one’s questioning how trashy you are. | 我想没人质疑你的垃圾程度 |
[12:05] | It’s not just that. They were actually bonding. | 不光是那个 她们真的很处得来 |
[12:09] | Neither of them have ever talked to me like that. | 她俩都没跟我这么说过话 |
[12:11] | Oh, honey, I’m sorry. | 宝贝 我很遗憾 |
[12:15] | I know how badly you want to connect with– | 我知道你很想跟她们有共鸣… |
[12:17] | Yeah! Suck it, blue guy! Whoo! | 爽 吃屎吧蓝衣男 |
[12:20] | That is why we keep the video games in the basement. | 提醒了我为什么当初把电子游戏放地下室 |
[12:23] | Why is this out? | 为什么拿出来 |
[12:24] | Oh, it’s a low-stress way to teach Brian how to drive. | 这能让布莱恩用低压力的方式学习开车 |
[12:27] | But Brian doesn’t want to drive. | 但布莱恩不想开车 |
[12:28] | And we agreed that’s fine since he wanted us | 我们已经接受这一点了 因为他想让我们 |
[12:30] | to put a seat belt on the recliner. | 给躺椅装上安全带 |
[12:32] | Look, honey, a man needs to drive. | 听着 男人需要会开车 |
[12:37] | Why? | 为什么 |
[12:38] | Because… W-What are you gonna do? | 因为… 不然怎么办 |
[12:41] | You gonna go to the drive-in with Viktor? | 你难道要跟优步司机维克多去汽车影院吗 |
[12:48] | Oh. This was your dad’s idea. | 这是你爸的主意 |
[12:49] | Fine, but it was my idea to listen to him. | 我承认 但听他的是我自己拿的主意 |
[12:51] | And I am gonna take the lead on this, all right? | 学车这件事要听我的 好吗 |
[12:54] | If I left it up to my dad, he’d– I don’t know– | 如果让我爸决定 他会… |
[12:56] | he’d whistle, smack Brian’s butt and say, “Car. Now.” | 他会吹着口哨 打布莱恩屁股 说”上车” |
[13:01] | Hey, Leils, have you seen Brian? | 小蕾 你看见布莱恩了吗 |
[13:03] | Uh, I just saw Grandpa go… | 我刚看到爷爷这样 |
[13:06] | “Car. Now.” | “上车” |
[13:09] | Damn it. Here, take over. | 该死 来 你来开 |
[13:13] | Hey, Mom, can you get me a juice box? | 妈 能给我一盒果汁吗 |
[13:15] | It tastes better when a woman brings it to you. | 女人递的果汁更好喝 |
[13:21] | – All right, okay. This is it. – You know, Grandpa, | -好了 就这样 -爷爷 |
[13:23] | if you really wanted to try my transporter, | 如果你真想试驾我的未来车 |
[13:26] | you could have just done it in the driveway. | 你在车道上试就行 |
[13:27] | Oh, no, I-I wanted to take it someplace | 不 我想找个地方 |
[13:29] | where I could, uh, really open her up. | 能真正让它有发挥的空间 |
[13:31] | You know what I mean? | 懂我的意思吗 |
[13:32] | Hey, hey, but, uh, while we’re here, | 但既然我们都在车里 |
[13:34] | this is a great place to practice your driving. | 这是个让你练习开车的好机会 |
[13:37] | It’s just a quick hop over here to the driver’s seat. | 你迅速小跳一步就到驾驶座了 |
[13:40] | Well, if there’s one thing you should know about me, | 关于我这个人 你最需要了解的一点就是 |
[13:41] | it’s that I can’t hop. | 那就是我不会跳 |
[13:43] | And certainly not quickly. | 更别说迅速跳 |
[13:45] | Okay. Well, you know, I’m just, just throwing it out there. | 好吧 我就是个提议 |
[13:47] | You know what I mean? | 懂我意思吧 |
[13:51] | – H– G-Grandpa? – I– It’s my chest. | -爷爷 -我胸口疼 |
[13:53] | I think I’m having a heart attack. | 我想我心脏病发作了 |
[13:55] | Uh, M-Marc was right. He said you could go at any minute. | 马科说得对 他说你随时有可能驾鹤西去 |
[13:58] | He said what? B-But that doesn’t matter. | 他说啥 那不重要 |
[14:00] | You’re gonna have to drive me to the hospital. | 你得开车送我去医院 |
[14:01] | Wait, wait. | 等等 |
[14:03] | No, no, this isn’t a heart attack. | 你不是心脏病发作 |
[14:05] | It’s a pulmonary embolism. | 这是肺栓塞 |
[14:07] | Forget the hospital. You’ll be dead before we get there. | 别去医院了 还没到你就死了 |
[14:09] | What are you doing? | 你要做什么 |
[14:10] | I’m gonna pierce your thoracic cavity to relieve the pressure. | 我要刺穿你的胸腔 来释放压力 |
[14:13] | No, no, no. Don’t worry, I’ve done this to a hamster. | 别担心 我对仓鼠这样做过 |
[14:15] | – Wait a minute, you maniac! – Hey, what is going on? | -等一下 你这个疯子 -怎么回事 |
[14:19] | Your son is a nut. | 你儿子疯了 |
[14:21] | Grandpa’s having a pulmonary embolism. | 爷爷有急性肺栓塞的症状 |
[14:23] | I’m not having anything. | 我什么病都没有 |
[14:25] | I was faking it so that you’d drive. | 我是装的 为了让你开车 |
[14:27] | What? How could you do that? | 什么 你怎么能这样 |
[14:29] | Me? You were just about | 我 你刚刚还要 |
[14:30] | to perform surgery on me with a pen. | 用笔在我身上做手术 |
[14:32] | Doesn’t anybody in this family own a pocket knife? | 这家里就没人有折叠刀吗 |
[14:36] | I can’t believe you. | 我简直不敢相信 |
[14:37] | I told you if Brian was going to drive, | 我跟你说了要是布莱恩学开车 |
[14:39] | I would be the one to teach him. | 肯定是我去教他 |
[14:41] | With a video game, huh? That’s not driving. | 用电子游戏吗 那不是开车 |
[14:44] | You know, Springsteen’s not singing about | 斯普林斯汀唱的可不是 |
[14:45] | escaping Jersey in a Mario kart. | 玩马里奥赛车来逃离泽西 |
[14:48] | He’s my son, okay? So however I wanted to teach him | 他是我儿子 好吗 不管我想怎么教他 |
[14:52] | should be up to me. | 都由我决定 |
[14:53] | But you’ve never let anything be up to me. | 但你从没让我决定过任何事 |
[14:54] | You’ve never cared about what I want. | 你根本不在乎我想要什么 |
[14:57] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么 |
[14:58] | I-I’m talking about soccer. | 我在说足球 |
[15:01] | I could have been great. See? | 我本可以踢得很好的 看我身手 |
[15:06] | You robbed the world of that. | 你夺走了我在足球界的可能 |
[15:09] | Son, I was just trying to stop you | 儿子 我只是在阻止你 |
[15:10] | from making what I thought were bad decisions. | 做那些我认为是错误的决定 |
[15:13] | They were my bad decisions to make. | 但就算是错误决定也该由我来做 |
[15:15] | And I’m not gonna steamroll my kids | 而且我不会像威逼我一样 |
[15:17] | the same way you steamrolled me. | 威逼我的孩子们 |
[15:18] | Come on, Bri. You don’t have to… | 来吧 小布 你不用… |
[15:21] | – He’s gone. – So is his scooter. | -他不见了 -他的滑板车也不见了 |
[15:24] | Hey, I’m impressed those coleslaw hands | 厉害了 他那双细麻杆手臂 |
[15:26] | could lift it out of the van. | 居然能把滑板车搬下车 |
[15:33] | Are you sure about these? | 你确定这没问题吗 |
[15:35] | I have scratches all over my body. | 我全身都是划痕 |
[15:38] | Your skin just needs to build a good callus. | 你皮肤上长茧就好了 |
[15:42] | Hey, Syl. Look what I got. | 希尔 你看我拿了什么 |
[15:45] | They’re vouchers for free massages at the casino spa. | 这是我们赌场水疗中心的免费按摩代金券 |
[15:50] | We give them to high rollers and hotel guests | 我们把这些给豪赌客 |
[15:52] | who find cameras in their bathroom. | 和在洗手间发现摄像头的客人 |
[15:55] | I thought you, me and Nicole could all go together. | 我觉得我们俩和妮可可以一起去 |
[15:57] | Oh, Kay, that’s so nice. | 凯 你真贴心 |
[16:01] | But you know who you should save these for? Mike. | 但你知道应该留着给谁吗 给麦克 |
[16:04] | He looks so tense. Is he working too hard? | 他看起来很紧绷 他工作太辛苦了吗 |
[16:06] | Oh, my God, I don’t care. Mike isn’t interesting. | 天啊 我不在乎 麦克很没劲 |
[16:09] | I mean, he is. | 我是说他有趣 |
[16:11] | He completes me, best friend, the one, but… | 他使我完整 是我最好的朋友 真命天子 但是 |
[16:16] | why is every conversation just you interrogating me about him? | 为什么每次聊天你都在问我他的事 |
[16:21] | I don’t do that. Does Mike think I do that? | 我没有 麦克也觉得我这样了吗 |
[16:26] | – What? – You’ve been doing it for 20 years! | -怎么了 -你20年来都是这样的 |
[16:29] | I’m sorry, it’s just, Mike tells me nothing. | 抱歉 只是 麦克什么都不跟我说 |
[16:32] | I’d have no idea what was going on in my son’s life | 我对我儿子的生活一无所知 |
[16:35] | if you didn’t tell me. | 只有你能告诉我 |
[16:36] | Well, I get what that’s like. | 我知道那是什么感觉 |
[16:39] | I mean, I can’t get Nicole to tell me anything, either. | 妮可也什么都不跟我说 |
[16:42] | It’s hard being a mom. | 做母亲很难 |
[16:43] | You go from knowing everything about your babies, | 你本来对孩子们了如指掌 |
[16:46] | and then they grow up and you’re just desperate | 随着他们逐渐长大 你变得对任何零碎信息 |
[16:49] | for any scrap you can get. | 都感恩戴德 |
[16:51] | This morning, I called your friend Margee | 今天早上 我打给你朋友玛姬 |
[16:54] | to find out who Kevin Slattery is. | 就为了搞清楚凯文·斯莱特里是谁 |
[16:58] | She really is a hoot. | 她确实挺逗的 |
[17:01] | That’s nothing. | 那不算什么 |
[17:03] | Most of my medical procedures are unnecessary. | 我大部分的手术都是不必要的 |
[17:07] | I just do it so Mike has to call and ask how I’m doing. | 我那么做只是为了让麦克打给我问我近况 |
[17:10] | Even the hip? | 髋关节手术也是吗 |
[17:11] | It was a 20-minute call. Totally worth it. | 那换来了20分钟的电话 完全值得 |
[17:15] | See? This is the type of stuff | 你看 这类事情 |
[17:18] | we could have been talking about this whole time. | 就是我们一直以来该聊的内容 |
[17:21] | And, look, I’m happy to talk about Mike, but sometimes… | 而且我很愿意谈谈麦克 只是有时候 |
[17:25] | You just want to talk about Nicole? | 你就想谈谈妮可吗 |
[17:27] | Oh, God, yes. Can we start now? | 天啊 是的 我们现在开始吧 |
[17:30] | Well, if we’re gonna get into it, | 如果我们要详谈 |
[17:32] | we’re gonna need the Jersey Juice. | 就得来点”泽西神仙果汁” |
[17:41] | Is that red wine or white? | 这是红酒还是白葡萄酒 |
[17:43] | And a little vodka. | 还有点伏特加 |
[17:46] | He’s got to be close. I mean, how far could he have gotten? | 他肯定在附近 他能跑多远 |
[17:48] | If that thing runs on shame, he could be in Connecticut by now. | 要是那东西以羞耻发力 他现在都该到康涅狄格了 |
[17:53] | How’d you find us, anyway? | 说起来 你是怎么找到我们的 |
[17:55] | That’s where you taught me to drive. | 当年你就是在那里教我开车的 |
[17:59] | I’m surprised you remembered that. | 你竟然还记得 |
[18:01] | Hey, look, | 听着 |
[18:02] | I-I shouldn’t have taken Brian like that. | 我不该那样带走布莱恩的 |
[18:05] | – I-I was out of line. – Eh, it’s fine. | -是我越界了 -没关系 |
[18:07] | No, no. It’s not fine. | 不 有关系 |
[18:08] | They’re your kids, and you do a good job with them. | 他们是你的孩子 你把他们教养得很好 |
[18:12] | Better than I ever could. | 比我当年称职多了 |
[18:14] | And just for the record, | 还有 我说明一下 |
[18:15] | I never meant to steamroll you into playing football. | 我没想着威逼你打橄榄球的 |
[18:18] | It’s just that, how was I supposed to coach you in soccer | 只是 我对足球一窍不通 |
[18:21] | if I didn’t know anything about it? | 我又怎么能指导你呢 |
[18:24] | You think soccer’s tough? | 你觉得足球就很难了吗 |
[18:26] | My kids are into particle physics. | 我的孩子们喜欢粒子物理学 |
[18:27] | And numbers that somehow also have letters in them. | 还喜欢莫名掺杂了一些字母的数字 |
[18:30] | I guess you just try to do the best you can | 我想你只能尽自己最大努力 |
[18:32] | and then you-you hope for a couple of moments like this. | 然后希望偶尔会出现像这样的温馨时刻 |
[18:39] | Why is it so much easier to talk like this in a car? | 为什么在车上更容易敞开心扉 |
[18:42] | Car’s a perfect spot for a father-son talk. | 因为车上是父子交心的绝佳地点 |
[18:45] | You know, nobody can leave, | 毕竟没人能离开 |
[18:47] | you’re staring ahead for the most part, | 大部分时间都要盯着前面的路 |
[18:49] | so there’s none of that weird eye contact. | 所以不会有尴尬的眼神接触 |
[18:52] | And then– then there’s idiot drivers… | 而且 像这种垃圾司机 |
[18:54] | that are always a good conversation starter. | 总是有助于开启话题 |
[18:56] | Hey, look, look, some moron left his inflatable raft | 快看 有个傻逼把充气筏 |
[18:59] | on the side of the road. | 落在路边了 |
[19:00] | You do realize that inflatable raft is your son? | 你知道那充气筏其实是你儿子吧 |
[19:03] | – I do now. Pulling over. – Yeah. | -现在知道了 这就停车 -好 |
[19:13] | Am I dead? | 我是不是死了 |
[19:17] | No. And I’m glad. | 没有 我松了一口气 |
[19:18] | I’d miss you. | 你要是死了我会怀念你的 |
[19:20] | But if you see any lights or tunnels, call me. | 不过你如果看到亮光或隧道 就喊我吧 |
[19:27] | Is that Jay Bennett watching soccer? | 杰·本奈特是在看足球吗 |
[19:30] | That’s right. It was your husband’s idea. | 没错 是你老公提议的 |
[19:32] | It’s not half bad. You know, you can hardly tell | 其实还不错 几乎看不出 |
[19:34] | most of these guys are European. | 大部分球员是欧洲人呢 |
[19:38] | Oh, hey, Bri, listen. | 小布 听我说 |
[19:39] | Sorry about the whole driving thing. | 学车的事我很抱歉 |
[19:41] | I promise, you do not have to learn until you’re ready. | 我保证 在你准备好之前 我不会逼你学的 |
[19:43] | It’s all right. I had a lot of time to reflect after my crash, | 没关系 车祸后我有很多时间反思 |
[19:46] | and I decided I’m ready to face my fears | 我决定了 我准备好直面恐惧 |
[19:49] | and embrace the open road. | 接受公路的挑战 |
[19:51] | So I’m finally gonna learn how to ride a bicycle. | 所以我终于要学骑自行车啦 |
[19:57] | If I don’t comment on that, can I watch football? | 如果我不吐槽 你能让我看橄榄球赛吗 |
[20:05] | Oh, my God, Kay. Wait till you see Nicole. | 老天 凯 你快看妮可大变身 |
[20:08] | She looks like Jackie O. | 她简直化身杰姬·肯尼迪 |
[20:08] | 前美国总统约翰·肯尼迪的夫人 肯尼迪在任职期间遇刺身亡 | |
[20:10] | You know, before the whole thing. | 当然了 是她还没遇到那堆破事之前 |
[20:11] | Nikki, come on in here. | 妮姬 快进来 |
[20:21] | You look like… | 你看起来 |
[20:22] | You look like the women outside mom’s casino | 好像妈妈赌场”外围”的那些女人 |
[20:24] | Dad pretends not to look at. | 爸爸都假装没在偷看她们 |
[20:27] | Mom. Can I talk to you for a second? | 妈妈 我能和你谈谈吗 |
[20:33] | I don’t know what happened. | 我不知道怎么变成这样的 |
[20:34] | It started with one nail appointment. | 一开始只是预约做美甲而已 |
[20:36] | Next thing I know, I’m lying facedown | 然后不知怎的就发展到我脸朝下 |
[20:38] | in the back of a hearse getting an airbrush spray tan | 躺在棺材里面 一个叫露的女人 |
[20:40] | from a woman named Lou. | 用喷枪帮我做美黑 |
[20:42] | All right. You got a little carried away. | 没事的 你只是被带偏了 |
[20:44] | This will all wash out. | 这些都可以洗掉的 |
[20:46] | But I don’t want it to wash out. | 但问题是我不想洗掉 |
[20:48] | That’s what scares me. | 所以我才惊慌失措 |
[20:49] | I don’t know where Nico ends and Nikkie begins. | 我感觉妮可和妮姬已经融为一体了 |
[20:54] | Jersey trash is in your DNA! | 泽西垃圾风范深深烙印在你的基因里 |
[20:59] | Hey! Watch the hair, ma! | 别弄乱我头发 老母 |
[21:04] | Why am I talking like that? | 我说话为什么一股乡村味 |
[21:06] | Don’t worry. We’re gonna get you clean. | 别担心 我们帮你弄干净 |
[21:08] | First thing, spit out the gum. | 你先把口香糖吐出来 |
[21:09] | I’m chewing gum? | 我居然在嚼口香糖 |
[21:12] | To be safe, I’m gonna keep Leila away from grandma | 安全起见 这一周我都让蕾拉 |
[21:15] | for the rest of the week. | 远离奶奶 |
[21:16] | Where is Leila? | 话说蕾拉人呢 |
[21:19] | Look what Brian made me. | 你们看布莱恩给我做了什么 |
[21:21] | I’m invincible! | 我现在刀枪不入啦 |
[21:26] | If anyone’s keeping score, | 如果有人在记分的话 |
[21:27] | she’s my favorite. | 她是我的最爱哦 |