| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:12] | Come on, guys, I’m hungry. Let’s get to the Pasta Pit. | 大家快点啊 我饿了 我们赶紧去吃披萨 |
| [00:15] | Hey, Leils, warm up the car, will you? | 小蕾 你先去发动车子 好吗 |
| [00:17] | Here are the keys. | 给你钥匙 |
| [00:18] | I got my own. | 我自己有 |
| [00:21] | I’m actually videoconferencing with a village in Benin, | 我正在和非洲贝宁一个村子开视频会议 |
| [00:24] | so I can’t come. | 所以我去不了 |
| [00:25] | Well, your loss. | 走宝的人是你 |
| [00:27] | Today’s my fake birthday, | 今天是我的假生日 |
| [00:28] | so you’ll miss out on some free cake. | 所以你吃不到餐厅送的免费蛋糕啦 |
| [00:33] | You’re lying. | 你在说谎 |
| [00:35] | Your voice dropped two decibels on the word “village.” | 你说到”村子”时声音低了两分贝 |
| [00:39] | What? You’re crazy. | 你说什么疯话啊 |
| [00:41] | That’s your fake laugh. | 这是你的假笑 |
| [00:43] | Therefore, you don’t think he’s crazy. | 所以你不认为他在说谎话 |
| [00:47] | What are you up to? | 你想干嘛 |
| [00:48] | I detect a faint whiff of propylene glycol, | 我隐约闻到一股丙二醇味儿 |
| [00:51] | so your legs are recently shaved. | 说明你刚剃完腿毛 |
| [00:55] | Remnants of a purifying mask. | 深层清洁面膜的残留物 |
| [00:59] | Charcoal. | 是木炭的 |
| [01:01] | Nails painted, hair done. | 涂了指甲油 吹了发型 |
| [01:04] | Nervous glances at your phone. | 紧张地不停瞄手机 |
| [01:06] | I’ve got it. You’re practicing for the LSAT. | 我知道了 你在准备法学院入学考试 |
| [01:11] | No, you dummies. She’s having a boy over. | 才不是 傻蛋 她是邀请了男生来家里 |
| [01:14] | And she lied to us about it! | 她还说谎隐瞒我们呢 |
| [01:17] | This is terrible. | 太过分了 |
| [01:20] | I’m shocked and horrified, just like a real dad. | 我好震惊好愤怒 像个真正的爸爸一样 |
| [01:24] | So, what’s his name? Where’d you meet him? | 说吧 他叫什么 你们在哪里认识的 |
| [01:27] | Is he exactly like me, or the complete opposite of me? | 他是跟我完全同型 还是完全相反 |
| [01:29] | ‘Cause… that’ll say a lot about what issues I gave you. | 那很能说明我给你留下了什么童年阴影 |
| [01:33] | His name is Tyler. | 他叫泰勒 |
| [01:34] | That’s all you’re getting. And I’m texting him to cancel. | 我只说这么多 我现在发短信跟他取消 |
| [01:36] | Absolutely not. | 绝对不行 |
| [01:38] | You lied, and you are punished, young lady. | 你撒谎就要得到惩罚 小姑娘 |
| [01:41] | That boy is coming over whether you like it or not. | 不管你愿不愿意 那男孩都一定要来我们家 |
| [01:44] | Yep. And we are waiting right here to meet him. | 没错 我们就在这等着见他 |
| [01:47] | This is so unfair. | 这太不公平了 |
| [01:49] | Life’s unfair. | 生活本身就充满不公平啊 |
| [01:51] | We finally got to say it. | 我们终于有机会说出这句话了 |
| [01:55] | All right, I’ll order the pizza, | 好了 我去叫披萨外卖 |
| [01:56] | everyone meet back here in 20 for the show. | 大家20分钟后在这里会合准备看好戏 |
| [01:58] | Go. | 走 |
| [02:03] | I pressed the button, | 我按了一个键之后 |
| [02:03] | and the car’s rolling down the driveway. | 车就滑下车道了 |
| [02:08] | Never mind, it stopped. | 没事了 车停了 |
| [02:11] | @少年影视派 翻译 | |
| [02:12] | Gwen高布丁 翻译 | |
| [02:13] | Funky Eunice | 翻译 |
| [02:16] | 雷鸣 后期 | |
| [02:17] | Eunice | 总监 |
| [02:22] | Can you believe it? | 你能相信吗 |
| [02:23] | One of our kids is bringing home a dating person. | 我们其中一个孩子居然要带约会对象回家 |
| [02:26] | I know. | 就是啊 |
| [02:27] | I hope he does that thing where he meets me and he’s like, | 我希望他见到我时会说 |
| [02:29] | “Nicole, I didn’t know you had a sister.” | “妮可 我不知道你还有个姐妹” |
| [02:32] | And I giggle, all flattered, | 我就会不好意思地笑 作受宠若惊状 |
| [02:35] | even though… we both know. | 其实我和他心里都明白这是客套话 |
| [02:37] | I have a question for Dad. | 我有个问题要问爸爸 |
| [02:39] | Why would Nicole paint her nails for a boy? | 妮可为什么要为了一个男生涂指甲油 |
| [02:42] | Well, buddy, | 是这样的 小家伙 |
| [02:45] | you see, she’s trying to look her best | 她希望自己看起来尽量完美 |
| [02:48] | to make a good impression because she likes him. | 给对方留下好印象 因为她喜欢他 |
| [02:50] | So, should I do my hair before our interactions? | 那我和你互动之前我要弄头发吗 |
| [02:53] | Because I like you. | 因为我也喜欢你啊 |
| [02:56] | Thank God. | 感谢上苍 |
| [02:59] | Uh, but no, no. | 不 不用 |
| [03:00] | It-It’s a different kind of like. | 这两种喜欢不一样 |
| [03:02] | It’s like how I feel about Mom. | 那就类似我对妈妈的感情 |
| [03:04] | When I see her, my heart races and I smile. | 我看到她 就会心跳加速 嘴角上扬 |
| [03:08] | Interesting. | 有意思 |
| [03:09] | That happened to me today at the art museum | 我今天在美术馆看到凯瑟琳·保霍推时 |
| [03:12] | when I saw Katherine Holdingham. | 也有这种感觉 |
| [03:14] | Yeah? | 是吗 |
| [03:15] | Wow, that’s great, buddy. | 那很好啊 哥们 |
| [03:17] | Well, you’ve come to the right place. | 那你就问对人了 |
| [03:19] | Your old man knows a thing or two about the ladies. | 你老爸可是很会撩妹的情场浪子 |
| [03:25] | First thing, never do that. | 第一课 千万别做我刚才的动作 |
| [03:29] | You think you’ll see her again? | 你还会再见到她吗 |
| [03:30] | Perhaps. | 可能会吧 |
| [03:32] | I’ll go shave my legs, just in case. | 我先去剃腿毛 以防万一 |
| [03:36] | Well, that was almost normal. I’m taking the “W.” | 刚才的对话几乎算得上正常了 我就当成功了 |
| [03:39] | He’s here. | 他到了 |
| [03:40] | Oh, okay, okay. | 好的 好 |
| [03:41] | Uh, how can I look intimidating when he walks in? | 他进门时我怎么做才能看起来吓人一点 |
| [03:43] | Uh, push-ups? | 做俯卧撑吗 |
| [03:44] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [03:45] | Anyone have a gun I can be cleaning? | 有人有枪吗 借我假装擦一下 |
| [03:48] | Use my gun. | 用我的吧 |
| [03:49] | Thank you, sweetie, but that’s not really scary. | 谢谢 宝贝 但那个看起来吓不了人 |
| [03:53] | We let you use that?! | 我们竟然让你玩这个 |
| [03:55] | I’m the fourth kid. My rules are different. | 我是家里老四 我的尺度当然也与众不同 |
| [03:58] | Do not embarrass me tonight. | 今晚别让我尴尬好吗 |
| [04:00] | Okay, I’m serious. | 我是认真的 |
| [04:01] | Relax, we’re gonna leave you two alone. | 放轻松 我们会让你们独处的 |
| [04:03] | Yeah, come on, we’re not those type of parents. | 放心吧 我们不是那种古板父母 |
| [04:06] | You kids have fun. | 你们好好玩 |
| [04:13] | – Hey, you. – We were lying. | -嗨 -我们撒谎了 |
| [04:14] | We’re totally those type of parents. | 我们就是那种古板父母 |
| [04:16] | – So, this is famous Tyler. – Sup? | -你就是传说中的泰勒吧 -你们好啊 |
| [04:20] | I didn’t know you had a sister. | 我不知道你还有个姐妹 |
| [04:22] | Oh, stop. | 哎呀 讨厌 |
| [04:24] | I’m her mom. | 我是她妈妈啦 |
| [04:26] | Yeah, I know, ma’am. | 我知道啊 这位太太 |
| [04:27] | I’m talking about that little girl. | 我是指那边那个小女孩 |
| [04:30] | Sup? | 好啊 |
| [04:33] | Oh, whoa, is that your Vette parked out there? | 外面停着的那辆跑车是你的吗 |
| [04:35] | Wow, yeah, that’s a pretty sweet ride. | 那辆车超酷的 |
| [04:37] | In high school, I had one just like it… | 我高中时也有一辆一模一样的… |
| [04:40] | almost run me over. | 差点把我撞死 |
| [04:44] | Oh, no, it’s not mine. | 那车不是我的 |
| [04:45] | I’m a valet at the mall, so as long as I keep it running, | 我是商场泊车小弟 所以只要我一直开着它 |
| [04:47] | I’m technically still parking it. | 严格来说我就还是在找地方停车 |
| [04:51] | He’s so humble. He’s not just a valet. | 他谦虚了 他不只是个泊车小弟 |
| [04:54] | He’s also an artist. Tell them. | 他还是个艺术家 快告诉他们 |
| [04:57] | Well, you know the, uh, “Sunrise” mural outside of the Billings Library? | 知道比林斯图书馆外墙那幅”日出”壁画吗 |
| [05:01] | Oh. Wow, yeah, that’s actually really good. | 知道 那幅画相当漂亮 |
| [05:03] | Yeah. I graffitied the penises on it. | 上面涂鸦的大屌是我的作品 |
| [05:08] | Those are very… realistic. | 那些作品非常…写实啊 |
| [05:11] | Well, I have one, so it’s easy. | 因为我自己就有一根 所以不难 |
| [05:14] | I, too, have one. | 我也有一根 |
| [05:17] | I’m the brother. | 我是她哥哥 |
| [05:18] | I don’t need to know your name, you don’t need to know mine. | 我无需知道你叫什么 你也无需知道我的 |
| [05:20] | It’s Brian. | 我是布莱恩 |
| [05:22] | But you hurt my sister, you answer to me. | 但你要是敢伤害我妹妹 我绝不放过你 |
| [05:25] | I’ll respect that. | 我尊重你的保护欲 |
| [05:26] | You know, you’re a good brother. | 你是个好哥哥 |
| [05:27] | Do whatever you want with her! | 别打我 你想怎么对她都行 |
| [05:33] | Come on, Ty, there’s pizza in the kitchen. | 过来阿泰 厨房里有披萨 |
| [05:36] | How does he keep his hair so wet? | 他的头发是怎么保持得这么湿润有型的 |
| [05:39] | Should we be worried about this? | 我们需要担心吗 |
| [05:41] | Worried? About Nicole. | 担心 担心妮可吗 |
| [05:43] | No. Come on, Kay. Trust me. | 得了吧凯 相信我 |
| [05:45] | a-as someone who’s been manipulated by her many, many times, | 我被她耍过无数次 我清楚得很 |
| [05:48] | she’s working an angle with this guy. | 她不过是对他另有目的而已 |
| [05:50] | Ty… use a plate! | 阿泰 用盘子盛着吃啦 |
| [05:55] | That’s her real laugh. | 那可是她的真笑 |
| [05:59] | There’s no angle. She likes that guy. | 她不是对他另有目的 她是真心喜欢那个男孩 |
| [06:02] | I wonder if he has a brother. | 不知道他有没有弟弟可以配我呢 |
| [06:10] | Look at this punk’s Instagram. | 看看这个小混混的照片墙 |
| [06:12] | Let me see. | 给我看看 |
| [06:12] | I don’t like it. | 我不喜欢 |
| [06:13] | A guy like this only wants one thing. | 他们这样的男人只喜欢一种东西 |
| [06:15] | All guys that age only want one thing. | 所有那个年龄的男人都只喜欢一样东西 |
| [06:16] | Yeah, | 没错 |
| [06:17] | but I’m worried he could actually figure out how to get it. | 但我担心他真能想出招得到那样东西 |
| [06:20] | Oh, he could get it. | 他绝对可以的 |
| [06:22] | They growing ’em good these days. | 这年头他们发育得可好了 |
| [06:25] | I’m in the damn room. | 我就在这呢 我能听见 |
| [06:28] | No, Mike’s right. | 不 麦克说得没错 |
| [06:29] | This is the guy you throw your teaching career away on, | 这种男人只会害你丢掉当教师的前途 |
| [06:31] | not your first boyfriend. | 不应该成为你第一个男朋友 |
| [06:33] | He’s gonna break her heart. | 他会伤透她的心的 |
| [06:35] | Your first love should be a good experience. | 初恋应该是一段美好的经历 |
| [06:39] | Well, lucky for me, I married my first love. | 我就很幸运 娶了我的初恋 |
| [06:41] | Mine was Doug. | 我的初恋是道格 |
| [06:43] | Mine was also Doug. | 我的初恋也是道格 |
| [06:46] | Do you know how sexy he was? | 你知道他有多性感吗 |
| [06:47] | – The motorcycle. – The mash tank. | -骑机车 -大胸肌 |
| [06:50] | The frosted tips. Oh! | 发尾挑染金色 窒息 |
| [06:54] | Whatever. Doug. | 切 道格算个屁 |
| [06:56] | What kind of sexy guy has a name like Doug? | 名字跟”狗”发音一样的人能有多性感 |
| [07:00] | Yeah, you tell ’em, Irwin. | 你还有脸说别人 欧文 |
| [07:04] | And I fell hard for him. | 我当时迷恋得他不行 |
| [07:07] | Then he cheated on me. | 然后他背着我偷吃 |
| [07:08] | Destroyed my confidence. Took years to get it back. | 彻底摧毁了我自信心 我用了好多年才重拾回来 |
| [07:11] | Went through a bunch of Dylans and Damons and Daryls. | 幸好又交往了很多迪伦 戴蒙 达里尔 |
| [07:15] | Just an endless parade of Ds. | 名字都是D开头的一大堆帅哥 |
| [07:18] | I know how this hurts me. | 我知道这番话深深伤了我 |
| [07:20] | Can you please explain how it helps our daughter? | 你能解释下这对我们女儿有何帮助吗 |
| [07:23] | Don’t worry, I am gonna talk to Nicole | 别担心 我会找妮可谈 |
| [07:25] | and convince her that Tyler is a bad idea | 告诉她泰勒不是个理想对象 |
| [07:28] | before she gets her heart broken. | 以免她以后心碎 |
| [07:32] | Oh, Doug accepted my friend request. Girl! | 道格接受了我的好友申请 姐们看啊 |
| [07:36] | Will you not disrespect me in front of our white friends? | 你在我们白人朋友面前能不能给我点面子啊 |
| [07:47] | Thank you for bringing me to the museum, Dad. | 谢谢你带我来美术馆 爸爸 |
| [07:50] | And thank me, | 也要谢谢我 |
| [07:52] | since it’s this bad boy that got us in free. | 是我这张黑科技卡让我们免费入场的 |
| [07:54] | You folks need a map? | 你们需要地图吗 |
| [07:55] | Thanks, but we’re… | 谢了 但我们… |
| [07:57] | Oh, my God. I-I’m so sorry. | 天呐 真对不起 |
| [08:02] | So, you think Katherine Holdingham is gonna be here again? | 你觉得凯瑟琳·保霍推还会来吗 |
| [08:06] | She’s here all the time. | 她随时都在啊 |
| [08:11] | An older woman. | 比你成熟的女性啊 |
| [08:12] | All right. You should go talk to her. | 你过去跟她说说话嘛 |
| [08:15] | That won’t be strange? | 那不会很奇怪吗 |
| [08:16] | No, not at all. | 当然不会 |
| [08:18] | But feel free to ask me that about every other instinct you have. | 但你有其他本能方面的问题也可以随时问我 |
| [08:23] | Okay, so that guard’s in pretty bad shape there. | 那个保安伤得不轻 |
| [08:26] | Gonna need your statement for the incident report. | 他们要问你话 写进事故报告 |
| [08:29] | Look at your brother, Bri. | 你看你弟弟 小布 |
| [08:30] | I feel like Marc and I are finally on the same page. | 我觉得我和马科终于有共同语言了 |
| [08:33] | And now, with my guidance, he’s… | 现在在我的引导下 他… |
| [08:36] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [08:38] | … talking to a painting. | …在和一幅画说话 |
| [08:41] | Because Katherine Holdingham is actually Katherine Holding Ham. | 因为凯瑟琳·”保霍推”原来是抱火腿的凯瑟琳 |
| [08:46] | And she’s a painting. | 她其实是一幅画 |
| [08:54] | Hey, Nic. | 妮妮 |
| [08:55] | What you doing? | 你在干什么 |
| [08:56] | Texting Tyler. | 跟泰勒发短信 |
| [08:57] | He just sent “Hey, girrl” with two Rs. | 他刚给我发了”妹砸 还好吗” |
| [08:59] | He’s so funny. | 他太搞笑了 |
| [09:01] | So, is Tyler, like… your boyfriend? | 泰勒是你的男朋友吗 |
| [09:06] | Unofficially, yes. | 非正式 但的确是的 |
| [09:08] | But officially, he says he’s not into labels. | 不过他嘴上说他不给关系贴标签 |
| [09:11] | Well, if I had to label that, | 如果我得给他这行为贴个标签 |
| [09:12] | it’d probably be something like, I don’t know, red flag. | 那估计我会贴 红旗警告 |
| [09:17] | I mean, are you sure about Tyler? | 你真要和泰勒在一起吗 |
| [09:19] | I mean, don’t you want somebody who’s smart or ambitious | 你不是应该喜欢聪明或上进 |
| [09:23] | or respects the terms and conditions of the valet ticket? | 或是遵守泊车界规定的人吗 |
| [09:27] | That’s why I like him. | 所以我才喜欢他啊 |
| [09:29] | He challenges the status quo. | 他勇于挑战现状 |
| [09:31] | Just by taking the cars, | 他把车偷偷开走 |
| [09:32] | he’s upending our very definition of ownership. | 就是重新定义了所有权 |
| [09:35] | And what’s he challenging with the penises? | 那他画大屌又是为了挑战什么呢 |
| [09:38] | He’s making a statement about the role of sex in society. | 为了表达自己对性在社会中的角色的观点 |
| [09:42] | Feels like the statement is “I can only draw penises.” | 感觉他的观点就是 我只会画屌 |
| [09:46] | Look, it’s fine. You don’t like him. | 你不喜欢他 没关系 |
| [09:48] | But I don’t care. | 但我不在乎 |
| [09:49] | Because when I’m with him, I’m happy. | 我和他在一起时 我很快乐 |
| [09:52] | You just don’t get it because you don’t know him like I do. | 你只是不明白他的魅力 你不如我了解他 |
| [09:56] | Oh, believe me. | 相信我 |
| [09:58] | I know him better than you ever will. | 你绝对不会比我更了解他 |
| [10:01] | Come on. We’re taking a field trip. | 走 我们出去一趟 |
| [10:10] | Why are we at a mechanic? | 我们为什么来修理店 |
| [10:12] | This isn’t a mechanic. It’s a cautionary tale. | 这不是修理店 而是警示故事 |
| [10:17] | Hey, Doug. | 道格 你好啊 |
| [10:19] | Is that Kay Mollen? | 这不是凯·莫伦吗 |
| [10:21] | Look at you. | 瞧瞧你啊 |
| [10:23] | Like a Mercedes-Benz. | 简直像台奔驰 |
| [10:25] | Doesn’t matter how many miles are on you, you still look good. | 无论你已经跑了多少公里 依然迷人 |
| [10:28] | I hate the part of me that kind of likes that. | 我好讨厌自己居然挺喜欢这评价 |
| [10:32] | Anyway, there’s someone I’d like you to meet. | 总而言之 我想介绍你认识一个人 |
| [10:36] | Oh, I see. | 我知道了 |
| [10:36] | Been here before. | 这种事我经历过了 |
| [10:39] | Hi, sweetie. Uh, I know I’ve missed a few birthdays, | 你好 宝贝 我知道我错过了你很多生日 |
| [10:42] | I can’t promise I’ll be… | 我无法保证我会… |
| [10:43] | God, no. | 天呐 才不是那样 |
| [10:44] | I just wanted to introduce Nicole to my first-ever boyfriend. | 我只是想带妮可见见我的初恋男友 |
| [10:49] | “boyfriend.” Whoa, babe, | 什么男友 美人 |
| [10:50] | I told you 20 years ago, I’m not into labels. | 我20年前就告诉过你了 我不给关系贴标签 |
| [10:54] | That includes “dad.” You call me Doug. | 那也包括”爸爸” 你只能叫我道格 |
| [10:57] | You know, Doug has a very artistic soul. | 你知道吗 道格有个艺术的灵魂 |
| [11:01] | How’s the band? | 你那支乐队怎么样了 |
| [11:03] | Arcade fire. | 拱廊之火 |
| [11:04] | You were in Arcade Fire? | 你曾是拱廊之火乐队的成员吗 |
| [11:05] | No, that’s how our last gig ended. | 不 我们最后那次演出就是因拱廊起火结束 |
| [11:08] | Yeah, rock and roll burned it down! | 被摇滚烧为平地啦 |
| [11:12] | Actually, the court ruled it was our bassist. | 其实法院判定起火是我们贝斯手的责任 |
| [11:14] | Anyway, I really liked Doug, | 总之 我当年很喜欢道格 |
| [11:16] | but it ended badly. | 但那段感情结束得很不愉快 |
| [11:18] | Yeah. You broke my heart. | 是啊 你伤透了我的心 |
| [11:19] | No, you broke my bicycle, | 不 是你弄坏了我的单车 |
| [11:21] | banging Jenny Furman on it at my sweet 16. | 在我16岁生日那天在单车上操詹妮·弗曼 |
| [11:24] | Oh, yeah, that was a good party. | 对哦 那个派对好好玩 |
| [11:26] | I banged Jenny Furman at that party. | 我在派对上操了詹妮·弗曼 |
| [11:28] | Right, I just… | 好吧 我只是… |
| [11:29] | Hey, am I crazy, or is there still something here? | 是我想多了吗 还是我们余情未了 |
| [11:30] | Meet me in the tire room, five minutes. | 五分钟后到轮胎间找我 |
| [11:32] | I got a bicycle back there. | 我在里面放了辆单车 |
| [11:37] | Now, you get why I brought you here? | 你知道我为什么带你来了吗 |
| [11:38] | – I can’t believe it. – Well, believe it. | -真不敢相信 -你最好相信吧 |
| [11:41] | I had no idea you could pull such a smoke show. | 我真没想到你能泡到这种天菜 |
| [11:45] | No! What? That’s not the takeaway. | 什么 不 这不是重点啊 |
| [11:47] | I knew you could get guys like Dad, but HIM? | 我知道你能把到老爸那种水平的 但这种极品 |
| [11:51] | I’ve literally never been more impressed by you. | 我真心从未如此敬佩过你 |
| [11:54] | No, I… | 没有啦 我… |
| [11:57] | Well, yeah, I did all right. | 好吧 老娘当年的确是情场野猫 |
| [11:59] | I want to hear everything. | 快点一五一十都告诉我 |
| [12:00] | There’s so much I can finally learn from you. | 我终于有能向你请教的事了 |
| [12:03] | No, that’s really not… | 其实也没那么… |
| [12:05] | You know what, let’s go get coffee. | 好吧 我们去边喝咖啡边聊 |
| [12:15] | Yo, I’m looking for somebody named Doug. | 我想找一个叫道格的人 |
| [12:27] | I just picked up dinner. | 我刚买了晚餐 |
| [12:29] | We’re having ham. | 我们今晚吃火腿 |
| [12:30] | Ha, ha, very funny. | 真会说笑 |
| [12:32] | Because I helped Marc fall in love with a painting | 因为我帮马科爱上了一幅画中 |
| [12:34] | of a girl holding ham. | 抱着火腿的女孩 |
| [12:37] | No. Just felt like ham. | 不 我就是想吃火腿了 |
| [12:39] | What’s this about our son? | 你说我们儿子怎么了 |
| [12:40] | Nothing, ham sounds great. | 没什么 吃火腿很棒啊 |
| [12:42] | Marc will love it. So… | 马科会很喜欢的 |
| [12:44] | how’s it going with breaking up Nicole and Tyler? | 拆散妮可和泰勒一事进行得怎么样了 |
| [12:46] | Actually, I talked to Nicole, | 其实我和妮可谈过后 |
| [12:48] | and we came up with a better plan for Tyler. | 我们想到了一个更好的方法 |
| [12:51] | We’re gonna fix him. | 我们要改造泰勒 |
| [12:54] | Yeah, okay, well, worked on my old Doberman. | 行吧 我以前的杜宾犬被绝育后的确老实了 |
| [12:58] | No, no. Look. | 不 不 听我说 |
| [13:00] | I told Nicole my concerns about Tyler. | 我告诉了妮可我担心泰勒 |
| [13:02] | And we realized, between her brains and my experience, | 我们意识到 结合她的头脑和我的恋爱经验 |
| [13:05] | we can turn Tyler into a decent guy who won’t break her heart. | 我们能把泰勒调教成不会伤她心的正直好男人 |
| [13:09] | Okay. Okay. | 好啊 我懂了 |
| [13:12] | So, instead of breaking them up, | 所以你不会拆散他们 |
| [13:13] | you are milking it so that you can spend more time with her. | 反而要利用这机会多和她相处 对不对 |
| [13:16] | – No. – That’s your “yes” no. | -没有啊 -这是你口是心非的语气 |
| [13:20] | Fine. | 好吧 我承认 |
| [13:21] | But she’s actually listening to me for once. | 但她好不容易终于肯听我说话了 |
| [13:23] | We’re, like, bonding. | 我们在建立感情呢 |
| [13:26] | Imagine Brian comes to you | 你想想如果布莱恩来找你 |
| [13:28] | and wants to toss the old pigskin around… | 说想和你一起玩橄榄球[丢猪皮] |
| [13:30] | What are you gonna do? | 你会怎么做 |
| [13:31] | I’d assume there was a pig carcass lying somewhere in our house. | 以他尿性我会觉得家里藏了一头死猪尸体 |
| [13:35] | But, yeah, I mean, I guess if it was football, I’d be excited. | 不过如果他是指打橄榄球 我会很激动的 |
| [13:38] | Well, Tyler’s our football. | 泰勒就是我们的橄榄球 |
| [13:41] | Look, I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think it could work. | 听着 我是觉得有把握才会这么做 |
| [13:45] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [13:47] | And, you should know, I took Nicole to see Doug. | 我还应该跟你说一声 我带妮可去见道格了 |
| [13:52] | Did he at least get fat? | 至少他有发胖变形吧 |
| [13:55] | Yes. | 有 |
| [13:56] | That’s your “no” yes! | 这是你口是心非的语气 |
| [14:02] | So, a painting, huh? | 一幅画 对吧 |
| [14:04] | That’s a new one. | 这倒是新鲜 |
| [14:05] | Is she hot, at least? | 至少她很性感吧 |
| [14:08] | She’s like a modern six, Renaissance nine. | 在现代人里算6分 在文艺复兴时期算9分 |
| [14:11] | But it’s still weird, | 但还是很怪 |
| [14:12] | and it’s my fault for telling him to go talk to it. | 而且是我叫他去和画说话的 都怪我 |
| [14:15] | I was just trying to connect, you know? | 我只是想和他建立感情 你懂吗 |
| [14:17] | I thought he was doing something normal. | 我以为他在做正常孩子会做的事 |
| [14:19] | Normal hasn’t lived here in a long time, Mike. | 你们家早就没正常可言了 麦克 |
| [14:22] | Well, I learned my lesson. | 我学到教训了 |
| [14:24] | Now I just got to keep him away from that museum. | 现在我只要不让他再去美术馆就好 |
| [14:27] | Well, I don’t know. | 我说不好 |
| [14:28] | You know, half the reason Rita married me | 丽塔嫁给我 其实有一半是因为 |
| [14:30] | was ’cause her parents hated me. | 她父母讨厌我 |
| [14:33] | They forbid her from seeing me. | 他们不准她和我见面 |
| [14:36] | There were a lot of “over my dead bodies” | 对我们撂过很多狠话 诸如”除非我死” |
| [14:39] | and “not under my roof.” | “在我家别想” |
| [14:40] | And “No, everyone else stay, he leaves. | 还有”不 所有人留下 就他走” |
| [14:44] | “No. Stay where you are. | “不 你站着别动” |
| [14:45] | “Don’t feel bad for him. | 不用同情他 |
| [14:47] | “Put down the rolls. | “放下面包卷” |
| [14:49] | “You, sit. You, down. He, leaves. | “你坐下 你也坐下 他滚 |
| [14:52] | “And lock the door on your way out. | “出去顺手把门锁上 |
| [14:54] | “And start with the top lock | “先开最上面的锁 |
| [14:55] | “’cause it’s a tricky door. | 那扇门很复杂 |
| [14:57] | “You got to lift up and pull out. | 你得先提起来再拔出来 |
| [14:59] | “‘Cause it’s been swollen since the rain.” | 因为老下雨都涨大了” |
| [15:05] | There were a lot of those? | 这种残酷对话你经历过很多次吗 |
| [15:07] | The point is, if you forbid it, | 重点是 如果你不准他去 |
| [15:08] | you’ll only drive him to that painting’s ham-holding hands. | 只会把他推向画中人抱着火腿的怀里 |
| [15:12] | No, you got to act like you’re cool with it, | 不行 你得表现得很无所谓 |
| [15:14] | and then maybe he’ll lose interest. | 这样或许他会失去兴趣 |
| [15:17] | Yeah, maybe you’re right. | 也许你说得对 |
| [15:19] | Thanks, Irwin. | 谢了 欧文 |
| [15:21] | Hey, listen, if you ever need my help, I… | 听着 如果哪天你需要我帮忙… |
| [15:22] | I got Doug in my trunk. | 道格在我车后备箱里 |
| [15:32] | Most people go for the lead guitarist, | 大部分女生都喜欢主吉他手 |
| [15:34] | but let me give you a tip. | 但我告诉你个小秘密 |
| [15:35] | The drummer’s usually in better shape | 鼓手通常身材比较好 |
| [15:37] | and the backstage passes are the same. | 反正从谁手里拿到后台贵宾入场券都一样 |
| [15:39] | That’s brilliant. | 人生智慧啊 |
| [15:41] | Mom, you’re awesome. | 妈 你太酷了 |
| [15:43] | I know this is weird, | 我知道这有点诡异 |
| [15:44] | but could you write that on a mug, glaze it, | 但你能不能把这句话印到杯子上 再上层釉 |
| [15:46] | and make sure I’m buried with it? | 我死后务必把杯子和我一起下葬 |
| [15:49] | By the way, I got through that whole Tyler to-do list you gave me. | 对了 我完成了你给我的”泰勒待办事项” |
| [15:52] | – Yeah? – Even got him take “Vape Lord” off his résumé. | -是吗 -我还让他删去了简历里的”电子烟之王” |
| [15:56] | Wow, this was supposed to take you all week. | 本来要一周才能做完的 |
| [15:57] | How’d you find time to do it all? | 你哪来那么多时间啊 |
| [15:58] | Oh, it wasn’t hard. | 也没多难啦 |
| [15:59] | I mean, I did have to quit Model UN, but… | 我确实得退出模拟联合国 可是… |
| [16:01] | Wait, you what?! | 等等 你干什么了 |
| [16:02] | You can’t quit Model UN. | 你怎么能退出模拟联合国 |
| [16:04] | What are you, North Korea? | 你以为你是朝鲜啊 |
| [16:05] | I’m trying to save Tyler from a fate worse than Doug. | 我想拯救泰勒 别落得比道格更糟的下场 |
| [16:08] | That’s more important than sharing fake nuclear technology | 那可比和假冒中国分享假核技术 |
| [16:11] | with pretend China. | 重要多了 |
| [16:12] | No, it’s…You shouldn’t give up on the things you love | 不 你不该为一个以后只会伤你心的男人 |
| [16:16] | for some guy who’s just gonna screw you over. | 放弃你热爱的事 |
| [16:20] | I messed up. | 我搞砸了 |
| [16:21] | This was a mistake. | 我就不该这么做 |
| [16:22] | What do you mean? | 你这是什么意思 |
| [16:23] | This was your idea. | 这明明是你提议的 |
| [16:25] | I was being selfish. | 我只是出于自私的理由 |
| [16:26] | I know better than anyone, | 我比谁都清楚 |
| [16:27] | you can’t change Tylers or Dougs. | 女人无法改变泰勒或道格这种男人 |
| [16:30] | I was just excited to be spending time with you. | 我只是觉得能和你多相处 我很开心 |
| [16:32] | You have to stop seeing Tyler. | 你不能再见泰勒了 |
| [16:34] | End of discussion. | 这事没得商量 |
| [16:36] | No. I can make my own decisions. | 不 我自己能做决定 |
| [16:39] | I’m too smart to let myself get manipulated like you did. | 我这么聪明 才不会像你当年那样被骗 |
| [16:43] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
| [16:45] | Ever think maybe the problem wasn’t the guys? | 你有没有想过问题也许不是出在那些男人身上 |
| [16:49] | Oh. Then who was it? | 是吗 那是谁的错呢 |
| [16:50] | If the broken bicycle seat fits… | 如果坏掉的单车后座吻合… |
| [16:53] | Okay, you are grounded. | 好啊 你被禁足了 |
| [16:56] | And for the record, they didn’t break the seat, | 告诉你一声 他们不是弄坏后座 |
| [16:58] | they snapped off the handlebars. | 而是把车把压断了 |
| [17:05] | All right, buddy, | 好了 小家伙 |
| [17:07] | go hang with your painting. | 去和你的画玩吧 |
| [17:08] | I’ll just wait back here | 我就在这边等着 |
| [17:09] | and try to find a statue I can set up with your brother. | 看能不能找到个雕塑和你哥拉郎配 |
| [17:13] | Actually, I think it would be good for you to talk to her. | 其实我觉得你和她聊聊也挺好 |
| [17:17] | Oh, no, no, no, no. I’m-I’m good. | 我想不用了 |
| [17:19] | I can just, you know…Hey. | 我远远地跟她打声招呼就行 |
| [17:23] | Dad, I know you don’t understand, | 老爸 我知道你不理解 |
| [17:25] | but I would like you to try. | 但我希望你试一试 |
| [17:27] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:28] | I am… | 我… |
| [17:30] | cool with that. | 无所谓 |
| [17:37] | Hey there. | 好啊 |
| [17:38] | I’m just, uh, gonna pretend to talk for a minute, | 我就假装和你聊几句 |
| [17:41] | because I told my son I would, so… | 因为我答应了我儿子 |
| [17:44] | And, yep, he’s watching, so… | 他在盯着呢 所以… |
| [17:47] | Ah, things you do for your kids, right? | 为了自己孩子 什么都愿意做 对吧 |
| [17:49] | You have kids? | 你有孩子吗 |
| [17:51] | I see you have some meat. | 我看到你抱着一块肉 |
| [17:53] | But you also have such sad eyes. | 但你的双眼看起来也很哀伤 |
| [17:56] | Well, I guess I’d be sad, too, | 不过 如果我也抱一块火腿 |
| [17:58] | if I had a ham in my hands | 抱足两百多年 |
| [18:00] | for 200 years and couldn’t eat it. | 看得见吃不着 我也会哀伤的 |
| [18:04] | Or maybe you wish the ham was something else? | 或许你希望那块火腿是别的什么 |
| [18:06] | Yeah. Yeah, I get that. | 嗯 我能理解 |
| [18:09] | See, I have this brilliant kid. | 是这样 我有个绝顶聪明的孩子 |
| [18:12] | Oh. You know Marc. | 对哦 你也认识马科 |
| [18:14] | Anyway, sometimes I wish he was just, like, | 总之 有时我真希望他 |
| [18:17] | a regular dummy, you know, because then I’d… | 像个寻常人家的笨孩子 因为那样我就… |
| [18:20] | then I’d understand him. | 我就能理解他 |
| [18:22] | I mean, you connect better with him than I do. | 你和他之间的共鸣比我还多 |
| [18:25] | And maybe it’s that flicker of hope in your smile. | 可能是你笑容里透出的一丝希望 |
| [18:29] | It’s kind of reassuring, actually. | 还挺能安慰到我的 |
| [18:31] | Like, maybe there’s hope for me, too. | 就好像 我或许也还有希望 |
| [18:36] | Boy… | 老天 |
| [18:38] | Tell you. I feel better just standing here. | 跟你说 我光是站在这里心情就好多了 |
| [18:41] | I feel calm, and inspired, and… | 我觉得很平静 受到鼓舞 并且… |
| [18:47] | Oh, my God. I get it now. | 天呐 我现在懂了 |
| [18:49] | I get art! | 我能看懂艺术了 |
| [18:52] | Marc, I understand. | 马科 我明白了 |
| [18:54] | You’re not attracted to the painting. | 你不是迷恋上了这个画中人 |
| [18:56] | – Huh? – You like it because you feel a connection to it. | -啥 -你喜欢它是因为你觉得和它有共鸣 |
| [18:58] | And now I do, too. | 我现在也感受到那份共鸣了 |
| [19:00] | Which means I’m connecting with you. | 也就是说我能理解你了 |
| [19:03] | That’s nice, | 那很好啊 |
| [19:04] | but I think you’re weirding people out. | 但你好像把别人吓到了 |
| [19:06] | I need backup in room two. | 二展厅 速来支援 |
| [19:08] | We got another weirdo who wants to pork a painting. | 又有一个变态想艹画 |
| [19:13] | “After the empire’s massacre, Genghis returned to Mongolia | 帝国遭屠杀后 成吉思汗回到蒙古 |
| [19:17] | with the heads of his conquests as a…” | 带着他的战利品头颅 作为… |
| [19:19] | Hey, Nik. | 妮妮 |
| [19:20] | We need to talk about yesterday. | 我们得谈谈昨天的事 |
| [19:22] | Mom, we were about to get to what the heads were for! | 妈妈 我们正要说到那些头是用来干嘛的 |
| [19:25] | Wait. Nicole, what’s wrong? | 等等 妮可 怎么了 |
| [19:28] | Nothing, I’m still mad at you. | 没什么啊 我还在生你的气 |
| [19:30] | No. When you’re mad, you like to be alone. | 不 你生气的时候喜欢一个人待着 |
| [19:34] | You’re being ridiculous. | 你说什么傻话啊 |
| [19:35] | And that’s your faking laugh. | 你这是在假笑 |
| [19:37] | So I’m not ridiculous. | 所以我说的不是傻话 |
| [19:39] | What’s going on? | 怎么了 |
| [19:40] | Tylor screwed her over. | 泰勒伤她心了 |
| [19:42] | Really? | 你这叛徒 |
| [19:43] | I gave her a dessert. She’s on my payroll. | 我给了她甜品 她是我的眼线 |
| [19:47] | What happened? | 发生什么了 |
| [19:48] | I skipped my Illuminati of Tomorrow meeting, | 我逃了明日精英会议 |
| [19:51] | so that Tylor can pick me up from school, | 就为了等泰勒来学校接我 |
| [19:53] | but he never showed. | 但他没来 |
| [19:54] | So I took an Uber to his house. | 于是我坐优步去他家 |
| [19:57] | Where I caught him making out with another girl. | 结果正好抓到他在跟另一个女孩热吻 |
| [20:01] | Sweetie, I am so sorry. | 宝贝 我很遗憾 |
| [20:04] | I don’t understand. | 我不懂 |
| [20:05] | I’m supposed to be smart. | 我不是聪明绝顶吗 |
| [20:06] | How could I be so naive? | 我怎么会如此天真 |
| [20:08] | ‘Cause it doesn’t matter how smart you are, | 因为不管你头脑有多聪明 |
| [20:10] | the heart is dumb. | 陷入恋爱的心都是愚蠢的 |
| [20:11] | But I promise | 但我保证 |
| [20:13] | you are going to have an easier time with heartbreak than I did, | 这次你失恋 不会有我以前那么难熬 |
| [20:16] | because you have something that I didn’t. | 因为你拥有我当年没有的东西 |
| [20:19] | Potential. | 潜力 |
| [20:22] | Good to know Nicole is still in there, but no. | 纵使失恋你的战斗力并没减退 我很欣慰 但不是 |
| [20:24] | You have me! | 你有我啊 |
| [20:26] | Look, we can go get mani-pedis and eat ice cream, | 我们可以一起去做美甲 吃冰淇淋 |
| [20:28] | and all that crap, | 诸如此类的 |
| [20:30] | or we could skip to what’ll really make you feel better… | 或是直接跳到真正能让你解气的办法 |
| [20:32] | revenge. | 就是报仇 |
| [20:33] | Leila, | 蕾拉 |
| [20:34] | charge the walkie-talkies and round about all the toilet paper. | 给对讲机充电 收集所有厕纸 |
| [20:37] | Can we put pantyhose on our faces? | 我们能把丝袜套头上吗 |
| [20:39] | Yeah. Just grab the ones from last time. | 可以 拿上次用过那些就行 |
| [20:42] | Yes! | 好耶 |
| [20:46] | Okay, so the thing you need to understand is | 听着 你要明白的是 |
| [20:48] | that it’s not about the art, it’s about how it makes you feel. | 这和艺术本身无关 你该专注于艺术带给你的感觉 |
| [20:51] | Well, right now, I’m feeling tricked. | 此时此刻 我只觉得上当受骗了 |
| [20:53] | Because you said we were doing something fun. | 因为你明明说带我们去做好玩的事 |
| [20:55] | Okay, wait until you see her. | 等你见到她你就知道了 |
| [20:56] | She’s right over he… | 她就在那边 |
| [20:59] | Sorry, excuse me? | 不好意思 请问一下 |
| [21:01] | Where’s the painting that was here? | 原来挂在这的那幅画去哪了 |
| [21:03] | That was just on loan. | 那幅画只是借来展出的 |
| [21:04] | So, she’s gone? | 所以她走了 |
| [21:08] | Buddy, I’m sorry. | 小家伙 我很遗憾 |
| [21:11] | I know it hurts, but… | 我知道你难过 但是 |
| [21:13] | you’ll find another painting that makes you feel… | 你会找到另一幅画的 |
| [21:14] | just like Katherine did. | 它也会带给你凯瑟琳给你的感受 |
| [21:20] | But it’s not gonna be today. | 不过不会是今天 |
| [21:21] | Let’s get out of here. | 我们快走吧 |
| [21:29] | Really? | 你不是吧 |