| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:12] | Final round. Winner takes all. | 最后一轮 赢家通吃 |
| [00:14] | This isn’t fair. My teammates are Mom and Dad. | 这不公平 我有爸妈这两个猪队友 |
| [00:18] | You picked us. | 是你选我们的 |
| [00:20] | Everyone else was taken. It’s like me in-in gym class. | 因为其他人都被选走了 就像体育课我是被选剩的 |
| [00:26] | Did you guys order another pizza? | 你们又点了一个比萨吗 |
| [00:30] | – Hi, guys. – Hey. | -大家好呀 -好啊 |
| [00:32] | It’s gonna be a second. | 稍等我们一会 |
| [00:33] | Just wrapping up a family game night here. | 今晚的家庭游戏之夜马上就结束了 |
| [00:34] | Oh, well, it’s good to know we’re paying our sitter | 原来我们付钱给保姆是为了 |
| [00:36] | to watch you spend time as a family. | 来看你们一家人玩乐 挺好的 |
| [00:39] | Players ready, and go. | 队员准备 开始 |
| [00:41] | – Polio. – Mindbox. | -小儿麻痹 -思想盒 |
| [00:42] | – Lantern. – Mindbox. | -灯笼 -思想盒 |
| [00:43] | – Antwerp. – Mindbox. | -安特卫普[比利时] -思想盒 |
| [00:45] | Yes. Perfect round. | 赞 这轮完美 |
| [00:47] | I told you they were gonna be doing something weird | 我就说我们来了会看见 |
| [00:49] | when we got here. | 他们在做古怪的事 |
| [00:51] | It’s like a deleted scene from Get Out. | 简直像《逃出绝命镇》的删减片段 |
| [00:55] | This is Mindbox. | 这就是思想盒 |
| [00:57] | Brian and Nicole invented it when they were little. | 布莱恩和妮可小时候发明的 |
| [00:59] | It’s actually two games in one: | 其实是两种游戏合一 |
| [01:01] | Mindbox and the drinking game | 思想盒和喝酒游戏 |
| [01:03] | that Kay and I play to get through Mindbox. | 我和凯得靠灌酒才能熬过思想盒游戏 |
| [01:06] | All right, we can do this. Just focus. | 好 我们能办到的 集中精神 |
| [01:07] | – Ready? – Yeah. | -准备好了没 -好了 |
| [01:08] | – Actuary. – Mindbox. | -精算师 -思想盒 |
| [01:09] | Damn it, Dad! | 可恶 老爸 |
| [01:11] | That’s game. | 游戏结束 |
| [01:12] | Time to total up the final score. | 现在加总最后得分 |
| [01:15] | Hey, this is fun. | 这很好玩啊 |
| [01:17] | Why don’t we play this with our kids? | 我们为什么不和自家孩子一起玩 |
| [01:18] | ‘Cause our kids have friends. | 因为我们家孩子有朋友 |
| [01:21] | This score is an embarrassment. | 这分数太丢人了 |
| [01:23] | I’m a disgrace. | 我简直是个耻辱 |
| [01:24] | Leila, you can take my room. | 蕾拉 我的房间归你了 |
| [01:26] | I deserve to sleep outside with the dogs. | 我只配到屋外和狗睡在一起 |
| [01:30] | I want to sleep with the dogs. | 人家也想和狗狗一起睡嘛 |
| [01:35] | Wow. Nicole takes losing pretty hard, huh? | 妮可输了很受打击啊 |
| [01:36] | Actually, that’s what she looks like when she wins, | 其实那是她赢了之后的表现 |
| [01:39] | by 321 points. | 她得了321分 |
| [01:44] | Can you bring out some raw meat? | 你能拿点生肉出来吗 |
| [01:45] | I need to attract stray dogs. | 我得引来一些流浪狗 |
| [01:47] | If I’m lucky, I’ll get some on me | 如果我走运 就能沾一些肉到身上 |
| [01:49] | and they’ll rip me apart limb from limb. | 让它们把我五犬分尸 |
| [01:54] | This is Get Out. | 这还真是《逃出绝命镇》呢 |
| [01:58] | Half of that face look like a dude I know. | 那半张脸看起来像我的一个熟人 |
| [02:01] | Tommy. Tommy. | 汤米 汤米 |
| [02:08] | – Nah, that ain’t him. – Okay, thank God. | -不 不是他 -谢天谢地 |
| [02:10] | Eunice | 翻译 |
| [02:11] | Funky 高布丁Gwen 翻译 | |
| [02:12] | 驴驴 克里斯 翻译 | |
| [02:15] | 雷鸣 后期 | |
| [02:16] | Eunice | 总监 |
| [02:21] | How long do you think Nicole’s gonna be out there? | 你觉得妮可会在外面待多久 |
| [02:23] | Ah, she talks a big game, | 她只是说得夸张 |
| [02:25] | but she’ll only be out there, like, six, seven hours. | 她顶多只会在外面待个六七小时 |
| [02:29] | Hot tip: You better check her room for manifestos. | 建议一下 你最好去她房间看看有没有宣言 |
| [02:34] | So, if she’s like that when she wins, | 如果她赢了都这么难过 |
| [02:36] | what’s she like when she loses? | 那她输了时是什么样 |
| [02:37] | That’s a good question. | 问得好 |
| [02:39] | I don’t remember her ever losing anything. | 我不记得她有输过任何比赛 |
| [02:41] | No, she even beat our neighbor Colin for tenor | 真的 她甚至赢了我们邻居科林 |
| [02:43] | in the gay men’s choir. | 得到同性恋合唱团的男高音席位 |
| [02:45] | And she did it singing “When a Man Loves a Woman.” | 那场比赛她唱的是《当男人爱上女人》 |
| [02:49] | Wait a minute. That girl has never lost at anything? | 等一下 那姑娘人生一次都没输过吗 |
| [02:52] | Uh-oh. That’s not good. | 这可不是好事 |
| [02:53] | I think it’s time I told you a story. | 是时候告诉你们一个故事了 |
| [02:56] | It’s about a man. | 故事主角是个男人 |
| [02:58] | A man named Irwin. | 他叫欧文 |
| [03:01] | I hope he dramatically tells us what year it was. | 希望他会浮夸地告诉我们发生在哪一年 |
| [03:03] | It was 1998. | 那时是1998年 |
| [03:06] | I was the star pitcher for my high school baseball team. | 我是我们高中棒球队的明星投手 |
| [03:09] | Never lost a game. | 一场比赛都没输过 |
| [03:10] | I got a full ride to Texas. Living the dream. | 获得四年全额奖学金到德州念大学 梦想成真 |
| [03:13] | Then my first collegiate start, | 然后我第一场大学比赛开打了 |
| [03:15] | I take the mound, and on my very first pitch, | 我站到投球垒上 投出第一球 |
| [03:19] | kaboom! Home run. | 嘣 全垒打 |
| [03:21] | Next batter, next pitch, | 下个击球手 下一投 |
| [03:23] | kaboom! | 嘣 |
| [03:25] | – Oof. – No. | -惨 -先别 |
| [03:26] | I got six more kabooms left, Kay. | 我还有六次”嘣”要说 凯 |
| [03:29] | Eight straight home runs. | 连续八记全垒打 |
| [03:31] | My center fielder left the field | 我的中外野手都跑到场外看台 |
| [03:33] | to go get a beer from the stands. | 拿啤酒喝去了 |
| [03:36] | Anyway, I could never pitch again after that. | 总之从那以后 我再也投不好球了 |
| [03:38] | – Man, it-it broke me. – It’s true. | -那次经历把我击垮了 -是真的 |
| [03:40] | He can’t even look at a diamond without freaking out. | 他一看到内场[钻石]就害怕 |
| [03:44] | Which is pretty damn convenient, if you ask me. | 要问我怎么看 我觉得这倒是便宜他了 |
| [03:48] | Look, the problem was I had never failed before, | 问题在于 我之前从没输过 |
| [03:51] | so the first time something happened, | 所以第一次尝到输的滋味时 |
| [03:53] | I didn’t know what to do. | 我就不知所措了 |
| [03:55] | Wait, so you think something like that | 等等 你是觉得类似的事情 |
| [03:56] | could happen to Nicole? | 也会发生在妮可身上吗 |
| [03:57] | ‘Cause I can’t even picture how she’d react if she lost. | 我根本无法想象她输了会是什么样 |
| [04:01] | I can. It ends with a coroner | 我能想出来 会有一位死因裁判官 |
| [04:03] | looking at our bodies, saying, “In all my years, | 看着我们的尸体说 “我从业多年 |
| [04:05] | I’ve never seen anything like this.” | 从未见过如此惨状” |
| [04:09] | All I know is things got really dark for me. | 我只记得 我的世界变得很黑暗 |
| [04:11] | I gained 200 pounds. | 我胖了两百磅 |
| [04:12] | They had to cut me out of my dorm room. | 他们得把宿舍门卸了 才够宽让我出来 |
| [04:16] | It was a long road back. | 一路走来十分不易 |
| [04:17] | But look at me now. | 但瞧瞧现在的我 |
| [04:19] | – Check this out. – That’s right, baby. Come on. | -各位请看 -这就对了 亲爱的加油 |
| [04:22] | Just throw. | 轻轻一投 |
| [04:23] | You can do it. You can do it, just step into it. | 你可以的 你可以的 试试看 |
| [04:25] | You got it. Nothing bad is gonna happen. | 你可以的 不会有状况发生的 |
| [04:28] | Kaboom! | 嘣 |
| [04:31] | – Oh, God, it happened again! – Oh, Mike! | -天啊 悲剧重演了 -麦克 |
| [04:33] | Why would you do that?! | 你为什么要这样啦 |
| [04:36] | Now this is gonna be my whole weekend. | 我这下整个周末又得丧了 |
| [04:42] | Here, sweetie. | 给你 宝贝 |
| [04:44] | Mommy, Brian won’t play with me. | 妈妈 布莱恩不肯陪我玩 |
| [04:46] | I asked him five times and he said “No, no, no, no,” | 我问了他五次 他的回答是”不不不不” |
| [04:51] | and, “Leila, shut the door! I was just stretching!” | 还有”蕾拉 把门关上 我只是在拉伸[手淫]” |
| [04:56] | Can you just play with her for ten minutes? | 你就不能陪她玩十分钟吗 |
| [04:57] | You know she worships you. | 你知道她很崇拜你的 |
| [04:59] | I love Leila. Great kid. | 我爱蕾拉 她是个好孩子 |
| [05:01] | Small hands, good for cleaning pipettes. | 长了双小手 能把移液器洗得很干净 |
| [05:04] | But my brain requires stimulation that she can’t provide. | 但她给不了我大脑所需的刺激 |
| [05:07] | That’s why I’m teaching Marc chess. | 所以我才教马科下棋 |
| [05:08] | Now, obviously it’ll be years before he poses a challenge, | 他显然还需要几年才能追上我的水平 |
| [05:12] | – but until then… – Checkmate. | -但在那之前… -将军 |
| [05:13] | Marc, Marc, Marc. You only say “checkmate” when you’ve… | 马科 “将军”只有要赢的时候才能… |
| [05:16] | How did you do that? That-that was only five moves. | 你怎么做到的 你才下了五步 |
| [05:19] | Sorry, I’m new to this. | 抱歉 我还是新手 |
| [05:21] | Should I be taking longer to beat you? | 我应该把战线拖长点再赢吗 |
| [05:24] | New game. | 再来一局 |
| [05:25] | – Go easy on your brother. – Oh, I will. | -毕竟是亲兄弟 别为难他 -我知道 |
| [05:27] | I was talking to Marc. | 我在跟马科说 |
| [05:31] | I think we should have more kids. | 我们应该再生几个孩子 |
| [05:34] | Come on, you usually love that joke. | 配合下嘛 你平常挺喜欢这个笑话的 |
| [05:37] | Sorry. I’m still thinking about what Irwin said. | 抱歉 我还在想欧文说的话 |
| [05:40] | I mean, Nicole’s never learned to fail, | 妮可从没尝过失败的滋味 |
| [05:42] | so what if the first time she does, she melts down | 如果她头一次尝到 然后崩溃了怎么办 |
| [05:44] | and she’s not able to be a… uh… | 这样她就不能继续当… |
| [05:47] | Are you trying not to say “dictator”? | 你是把”独裁者”这个词咽回去了吗 |
| [05:50] | No, I was trying not to say “Voldemort.” | 不 我咽的是”伏地魔” |
| [05:55] | But… | 不过 |
| [05:56] | I think I know how we can help Nicole. | 我知道怎么才能帮妮可了 |
| [05:59] | We got to make her fail. | 我们得让她输一次 |
| [06:01] | I’m not sure we ever landed on a parenting style, | 我不知道我们有没有批评过哪种教育方式 |
| [06:04] | but this feels like the wrong one. | 但这种方式感觉是错的 |
| [06:06] | Okay, hear me out. If she loses at something small now, | 听我说完 如果她现在在一些小事上输了 |
| [06:09] | while we’re here to support her, it’ll help her cope later | 我们在一旁挺她 那等她以后上了大学 |
| [06:12] | when she’s at college, or… | 或者被蝙蝠侠毁容半张脸时[双面人] |
| [06:13] | when Batman burns off half her face. | 就知道该怎么应对了 |
| [06:16] | So it’s sort of like a vaccine. | 这就像是给她打一剂疫苗 |
| [06:18] | Exactly. It hurts at first, but then you’re the only kid | 没错 开始有点疼 但等大家都跳进肮脏的湖里时 |
| [06:22] | in the dirty lake who doesn’t get hepatitis. | 只有她不会得肝炎 |
| [06:25] | But there’s a problem. | 但是有个问题 |
| [06:27] | What can we get Nicole to fail at? | 什么事才能让妮可输呢 |
| [06:28] | She’s good at everything. | 没有她不擅长的事 |
| [06:29] | Oh, come on. Not everything. | 别这么说 还是有的 |
| [06:31] | She’s bad at, um, hiding her disgust | 她不擅长…在听到愚蠢的提问时 |
| [06:34] | to stupid questions or, uh… | 隐藏她的鄙视 |
| [06:37] | – I think I got it. – I got something better. | -我想到了 -我想到了一个更好的 |
| [06:41] | So confident your idea’s better without even hearing mine. | 你都没听我的想法 就对你的想法那么自信 |
| [06:45] | You’re right. I’m sorry. What’s yours? | 你说得对 对不起 你想到的是什么 |
| [06:48] | I was bluffing. It’s terrible. | 唬你一下而已 没有好主意 |
| [06:52] | You want me to sign up for a casino beauty pageant? | 你们想让我报名赌场选美比赛 |
| [06:55] | Be honest. I won’t be mad. | 跟我说实话 我不会生气的 |
| [06:57] | Are you trying to sell me to a Saudi prince? | 你们想找个沙特王子 把我卖了吗 |
| [07:00] | My casino put it together last minute. | 我们赌场临时决定要办的 |
| [07:02] | It was originally supposed to be a dog show, | 一开始是打算办狗狗选美大赛的 |
| [07:04] | but the Humane Society said the building didn’t meet | 但动物保护协会说场地 |
| [07:06] | the “minimum requirements for dog safety.” | 连狗最基本的安全都保证不了 |
| [07:10] | But it’s okay for people? | 但却可以保证人的安全吗 |
| [07:11] | Well, I don’t know. There’s not a Humane Society for people. | 我不知道 又没有人类保护协会 |
| [07:14] | Oh, heads up. There still might be an agility competition. | 对了 届时仍可能有敏捷性比赛 |
| [07:16] | How good are you at catching a frisbee with your mouth? | 你擅长用嘴接飞盘吗 |
| [07:20] | Best in my class. | 我是我们班最厉害的 |
| [07:22] | But I still don’t understand how this benefits me. | 我还是不明白这对我有什么好处 |
| [07:25] | Well, we thought it would show a variety of interests | 我们觉得这可以在你大学申请书上 |
| [07:29] | on your college application. | 展示你兴趣广泛的一面 |
| [07:30] | Coding, debate, linguistics, philosophy, | 编程 辩论 语言学 哲学 |
| [07:32] | game theory and cryptoeconomics isn’t a variety? | 博弈和加密经济学我都有涉猎 还不够吗 |
| [07:36] | It’s pretty good, but put “pageant winner” | 是已经很棒了 但如果在申请书上填 |
| [07:38] | on your application, they’ll know you’re hot. | “选美冠军” 他们就会知道你是个辣妹 |
| [07:42] | And if they’re choosing between hot nerd | 如果他们要从漂亮的书呆和不一定漂亮的书呆里 |
| [07:43] | and maybe-hot nerd, they’ll go hot every time. | 二选一 他们一定会选漂亮的 |
| [07:45] | They have brochures to think about. | 他们希望招生手册上的学生赏心悦目嘛 |
| [07:48] | Also, it could help your political career one day. | 也许以后还会对你的从政生涯有帮助 |
| [07:52] | Pageant experience does play well in the heartland. | 选美经验确实在中心区域很吃香 |
| [07:56] | All right. I’ll do it. | 好吧 我参加 |
| [07:59] | You’re looking at the next Miss Teen | 你们面前的就是下一任 |
| [08:00] | Exit 38 off the parkway. | 大道38号出口豆蔻小姐 |
| [08:04] | Oof, I hope this works. | 但愿这个计划能成功 |
| [08:06] | Uh, but if it doesn’t, we can always try your idea. | 反正如果失败了 我们还可以用你的方法 |
| [08:09] | I don’t think we should. | 我觉得不该用我的 |
| [08:12] | It’s dinosaur hunter. | 是猎捕恐龙游戏 |
| [08:26] | Oof, this is not Nicole’s scene. | 这地方可不是妮可的主场 |
| [08:28] | If this place had a giant bloodthirsty rabbit | 要是这地方再来只嗜血的大兔子 |
| [08:30] | that scored higher than her on the SATs, | 大学入学考试成绩还比她高 |
| [08:31] | it would literally be her worst nightmare. | 一定会成为妮可最可怕的噩梦 |
| [08:35] | All right, I need all the bitches to line up– | 所有母狗站成一排… |
| [08:37] | I’m sorry, I signed up for this when it was still a dog show. | 抱歉 我报名时它还是个狗狗选美比赛 |
| [08:41] | – Rita, you’re working this? – Yeah. | -丽塔 你负责这次活动吗 -没错 |
| [08:42] | Girl, and there is no budget for this thing, so I’m the emcee, | 姐们 由于没有足够的经费 |
| [08:46] | I’m security and apparently animal control | 我既是主持人 又是安保还兼动物管理员 |
| [08:49] | ’cause people don’t read their damn e-mails. | 因为总有人不看邮件 |
| [08:50] | Sir, you need to leave! | 先生 你得离开这儿 |
| [08:52] | Your dog is not safe here! | 你的狗在这儿不安全 |
| [08:59] | Uh, Mike? | 麦克 |
| [09:01] | When did Nicole learn how to tap dance? | 妮可什么时候学的踢踏舞 |
| [09:03] | I think she just learned last night. | 我觉得她是昨天晚上才学的 |
| [09:07] | How is she so good already? | 她怎么就跳得这么好了 |
| [09:09] | Did she eat the heart of a tap dancer? | 她是不是吃了一个踢踏舞者的心脏 |
| [09:12] | Did we make a mistake? | 我们是不是做错了 |
| [09:14] | I mean, she is going to lose this thing, right? | 她会输掉这场比赛的 对吧 |
| [09:18] | Today I will be doing a tap interpretation | 今天我要用踢踏舞来诠释 |
| [09:21] | of the Lincoln-Douglas debates of 1858. | 1858年林肯与道格拉斯的辩论 |
| [09:26] | She is so screwed. We’ll be fine. | 她死定了 我们要成功了 |
| [09:34] | That’s my daughter. | 台上的是我女儿 |
| [09:35] | She’s gonna get destroyed. | 她马上就要被碾压了 |
| [09:43] | Rosemary knight take saffron pawn. | 迷迭香骑士吃掉了藏红花小兵 |
| [09:46] | No, but that leaves it open for the damn paprika! | 不行 这给了辣椒粉可乘之机 |
| [09:50] | Marc is looking for you. Are you hiding? | 马科到处找你 你是在躲他吗 |
| [09:53] | No. I’m a grown man. | 当然没有 我是个成熟的人 |
| [09:54] | I don’t hide. | 我才不会躲起来 |
| [09:57] | – Okay. Marc, he’s in… – He’ll find me. | -好吧 马科 他在… -他会发现我的 |
| [10:00] | No, I can’t lose to Marc again, | 我不能再一次输给马科了 |
| [10:02] | but I can’t figure out how to beat him. | 但我想不出如何才能赢他 |
| [10:04] | He’s always five steps ahead. | 他总能比我领先五步[台阶] |
| [10:06] | That’s it. I’ll throw him down the steps. | 有招了 我把他扔下台阶就行了 |
| [10:09] | Sometimes when I don’t know what crayon to use, | 有时我不知道该用哪一根蜡笔 |
| [10:12] | I do something else, | 我就会做些别的事情 |
| [10:13] | and the right color just pops into my head. | 该选的那只蜡笔就会突然出现在我脑海里 |
| [10:15] | No. The only way to solve a problem | 不 解决问题的唯一方法是 |
| [10:17] | is to obsess over it till you solve it or go insane. | 集中精力钻研它直到解决出来 或者被逼疯 |
| [10:21] | Yeah, I think you’re already there. | 我觉得你已经疯了 |
| [10:24] | It’s still your move, old man. | 你还没走 老头 |
| [10:27] | Okay, let’s get this over with. | 好吧 赶紧下完得了 |
| [10:30] | He can’t play chess because he has to play with me. | 他现在不能和你下棋 因为他要和我玩 |
| [10:33] | Yes. Th-That’s right. | 没错 就是这样 |
| [10:34] | I have to play with Leila. | 我得陪蕾拉玩 |
| [10:35] | You know, I’d love to defeat you, | 我也很想在棋局上打败你 |
| [10:37] | – but I told Leila we’d play… – Ponies and unicorns. | -但我和蕾拉说好了要玩… -小马和独角兽 |
| [10:42] | Ponies and unicorns. | 小马和独角兽 |
| [10:44] | Yep, that’s the intellectual challenge I crave. | 这就是我一直渴望的智力挑战 |
| [10:47] | – To the stables. – They live in the clouds. | -我们去马厩 -它们住在天上的啊 |
| [10:49] | Let’s just go. | 走就是了 |
| [10:55] | Pepper mill takes chili flakes. | 胡椒研磨器吃掉辣椒粉 |
| [10:57] | Checkmate. | 将死 |
| [11:02] | Oof, tough first day for Nicole. | 第一天比赛日对妮可来说真是艰难 |
| [11:05] | My favorite part was | 我最喜欢的部分就是 |
| [11:06] | when she called Miss America “capitalism’s fanciest whore.” | 她管美国小姐叫 “资本主义最高级的妓女” |
| [11:13] | Yep. | 没错 |
| [11:15] | By this time tomorrow, | 明天的这个时候 |
| [11:16] | we will be the proud parents of a huge loser. | 我们就是大输家的骄傲父母了 |
| [11:20] | She is gonna be devastated. | 她会心碎崩溃的 |
| [11:24] | Did we really just clink about our daughter being sad? | 我们刚才是在举杯庆祝女儿的难过吗 |
| [11:27] | No. We clinked about our plan working. | 不 我们是在庆祝我们的计划成功了 |
| [11:30] | It’s what we wanted. | 这就是我们的目标啊 |
| [11:31] | No, I know, but… now that it’s happening, | 不 我知道 但是…现在计划进行得顺利 |
| [11:34] | it kind of feels like a weird thing to want. | 让我感觉这样的目标有点怪怪的 |
| [11:36] | I mean, are we really happy | 明天我们的小女儿 |
| [11:38] | our little girl’s gonna get crushed tomorrow | 就要受到打击 我们真的为此感到高兴吗 |
| [11:40] | in front of hundreds of strangers | 她还得面对着数百个陌生观众 |
| [11:42] | on a stage unfit for dogs? | 站在不适合狗狗的舞台上呢 |
| [11:46] | Well, I wouldn’t say happy, but it’s the vaccine thing. | 是不至于高兴啦 但这是疫苗啊 |
| [11:49] | It’s for her own good. | 是为了她好 |
| [11:50] | No parent ever wants to see their child sad, | 没有家长想看到自己的孩子难过 |
| [11:53] | and now we’ve gone out of our way to make it happen. | 我们现在却竭尽全力让她难过 |
| [11:56] | Maybe we should pull the plug. | 也许我们该叫停这件事 |
| [11:57] | The last thing we want to teach Nicole is how to pull the plug, | 我们最不该教妮可的就是叫停[拔呼吸机] |
| [12:00] | because that will definitely come back to haunt us. | 因为等我们老了一定会自食恶果 |
| [12:03] | No, babe, come on. | 不 亲爱的 拜托 |
| [12:05] | We have to stay strong on this. United front. | 我们要坚持到底 统一战线 |
| [12:08] | You’re right. You’re right. We got to stay strong. | 你说得对 你说得对 我们要坚持到底 |
| [12:10] | Yeah. Come on, we got this. | 是的 我们可以的 |
| [12:13] | Oh, and, uh, I do want you to know, | 我想跟你说 |
| [12:15] | if she does pull the plug on me, do not move on. | 如果她真的拔了我的呼吸机 别另寻新欢 |
| [12:20] | It is not what I would have wanted. | 那绝对不会是我的遗愿 |
| [12:26] | Sorry, Tinsel, you’re a pony, | 对不起 闪闪 你是只小马 |
| [12:28] | so you can’t come to the unicorn ball. | 所以你不能参加独角兽舞会 |
| [12:30] | Unless Tinsel is ranked grand master by the U.S. Chess Federation, | 除非闪闪被美国国际象棋联合会评为特级大师 |
| [12:34] | could you please keep it down? | 你能小声点吗 |
| [12:36] | You said you’d play with me. | 你说过你会陪我玩的 |
| [12:38] | How am I supposed to play a game with no internal logic? | 我要怎么玩一个没有内在逻辑的游戏 |
| [12:40] | You’ve got horses living on clouds, | 你的马生活在云上 |
| [12:42] | and glitter is somehow a food, a currency | 亮片又是食物 又是货币 |
| [12:44] | and the name of at least three ponies. | 还是至少三只小马的名字 |
| [12:46] | Well, the ponies and unicorns are fighting. | 可小马们在和独角兽们打架啊 |
| [12:51] | Hmm. Well, that’s an interesting premise. | 这倒是个有趣的设定 |
| [12:53] | Tribal warfare between two rival societies. No. | 两个敌对族群间的种族战争 不 |
| [12:56] | But I really don’t have the… | 但我现在真的没有… |
| [12:57] | And there’s only one who can stop it. | 只有一只马能阻止这场战争 |
| [13:00] | Tell me more about this one. | 跟我说说这只马 |
| [13:02] | He’s a unicorn born with no horn. | 它是一只没有角的独角兽 |
| [13:04] | Interesting. A zero-corn. | 有点意思 一只无角兽 |
| [13:07] | Is he the one the prophecies foretold? | 它就是预言里的那只小马吗 |
| [13:10] | I don’t know. | 我不知道啊 |
| [13:12] | Leila, I shall play your game. | 蕾拉 我愿意玩你的游戏 |
| [13:14] | Let’s go. | 走吧 |
| [13:16] | Okay, so what’s this zero-corn’s name? | 那只无角兽的名字是什么 |
| [13:18] | – Glitter! – Of course. | -亮亮 -当然叫这个名字 |
| [13:25] | Hey, sweetie. | 宝贝 |
| [13:28] | Oh, that’s a… nice gown. | 这条礼服裙很好看 |
| [13:31] | Is Miss Thing-Thing adding some bling-bling? Nope. | 我的牛逼女儿在加牛逼水钻吗 这么说不合适 |
| [13:36] | It’s not a gown, it’s a pantsuit. | 这不是礼服裙 是长裤套装 |
| [13:38] | And I’m actually removing the rhinestones. | 而且我是要把水钻拆掉 |
| [13:40] | They distract from the boxy cut. | 它们破坏了衣服的方形剪裁 |
| [13:43] | Well, tonight you will be the box of the ball. | 放心 今晚你一定是全场焦点 |
| [13:48] | Hey, Dad. | 爸爸 |
| [13:49] | I just wanted to say thanks for pushing me to do this. | 我想感谢你逼我参加这个活动 |
| [13:52] | It got me out of my comfort zone, | 让我走出我的舒适区 |
| [13:53] | and I’m really proud of all the hard work I put into it. | 我已经为我付出了那么多努力感到骄傲了 |
| [13:56] | You haven’t put, like, that much work into it. | 你也没付出很多努力吧 |
| [13:59] | Sure I have. I had to master tap dancing. | 当然有了 我还得精通踢踏舞 |
| [14:02] | That took me almost four hours. | 那整整花了我快四小时呢 |
| [14:06] | I just hope it’s all worth it. | 我只希望结果值得我付出的努力 |
| [14:09] | Yeah, me, too. | 是啊 我也这么希望 |
| [14:13] | Um, you know, honey, if I’m being honest, | 宝贝 实话实说 |
| [14:16] | it’s probably not worth it. | 结果可能不值得你的努力 |
| [14:18] | I mean, the real victory here | 我的意思是 真正的胜利 |
| [14:19] | is you getting out of your comfort zone. | 是让你走出舒适圈 |
| [14:22] | You know? So what do you say tonight | 你明白吗 所以今晚我们要不要 |
| [14:24] | we just, we just pull the plug on this whole thing? | 干脆叫停这个活动 |
| [14:25] | – What? – Yeah. Come on. | -什么 -真的 算了吧 |
| [14:27] | Instead, tonight I’ll get you those tickets you wanted. | 今晚我给你买你一直很想要的门票 |
| [14:30] | We’ll go see Kiss. | 我们去看Kiss |
| [14:32] | An Evening of Statecraft with Henry Kissinger? | 政治家亨利·基辛格的治国讲座吗 |
| [14:38] | Sadly, that is what Kiss means in this house. | 悲哀的是 这词在这个家里不是指那支摇滚乐队 |
| [14:42] | Thanks, Dad, but I’m not going to quit. | 谢了 老爸 但我不会半途而废的 |
| [14:45] | Okay, but, um, uh, remember, whatever happens tonight, | 好吧 但你记住 无论今晚结果如何 |
| [14:49] | this pageant was actually your mom’s idea. | 参加选美都是你妈的主意 |
| [14:52] | So just be sure to remember that. | 你千万务必记住这一点 |
| [14:54] | – Seriously? – Okay, what? Nothing, nothing! | -你不是吧 -怎么了 没事啊 无事发生 |
| [14:57] | Why would you tell her this was my idea? | 你为什么要告诉她这是我的主意 |
| [14:59] | Well… it was. | 因为本来就是啊 |
| [15:02] | And I am tired of living in a world | 而且我已经厌倦了活在一个 |
| [15:04] | where men get credit for women’s ideas. | 男人总抢走女人的功劳的世界里 |
| [15:08] | What happened to staying strong? | 不是说好要坚持到底的吗 |
| [15:10] | I’m sorry. | 对不起嘛 |
| [15:12] | I-I started picturing how sad she’ll be | 我忍不住开始想 |
| [15:13] | when this all blows up, and I couldn’t take it. | 她今晚输了会有多难过 我受不了 |
| [15:17] | What are we gonna do? | 我们该怎么做 |
| [15:18] | Well, she’s not gonna quit. | 总之她不会退赛的 |
| [15:20] | I already tried with AC/DC tickets. | 我已经试过用AC/DC的门票引诱她了 |
| [15:23] | That’s probably not… | 应该不是指那支乐队吧 |
| [15:24] | – It’s the Atlantic City Dictionary Convention. – Yeah. | 是大西洋城词典大会的缩写 -我就知道 |
| [15:27] | So what’s our plan? We can’t just do nothing | 我们有什么计划 总不能袖手旁观 |
| [15:29] | and watch her lose. | 眼睁睁看着她输吧 |
| [15:31] | There is one other option. | 还有一个选项 |
| [15:34] | Oh, Rita, it’s you. | 丽塔 是你啊 |
| [15:36] | I thought you were one of our teen beauties. | 我还以为你也是少女选美比赛的选手 |
| [15:39] | Aw… Okay, what do you two want? | 讨厌 你们在打什么主意 |
| [15:41] | We screwed up with Nicole. | 妮可的事我们搞砸了 |
| [15:43] | We really need her to win this thing, so… | 我们很需要她赢下这场比赛 |
| [15:47] | we would like to do a bribe, please. | 所以我们想贿赂你 |
| [15:49] | And I would really like to help, | 我也很想帮你们 |
| [15:51] | but your bribes aren’t gonna work here. | 但你们在这里行贿是行不通的 |
| [15:53] | We figured. We feel guilty even asking. | 我们猜到了 光是提出来已经很罪过 |
| [15:56] | ‘Cause the pageant’s already rigged. | 因为这场选美已经有黑幕了 |
| [16:00] | What? | 什么 |
| [16:01] | Are you surprised? | 你们居然感到意外 |
| [16:02] | It’s a pageant sponsored by an energy drink for dogs. | 这可是狗狗能量饮品赞助的选美比赛啊 |
| [16:08] | Come on, Rita. | 别这样 丽塔 |
| [16:09] | Can’t we re-bribe you or something? | 难道我们不能再贿赂你吗 |
| [16:11] | Oh, you could bribe me all day, but it doesn’t matter. | 你怎么贿赂我都行 但影响不了结果的 |
| [16:13] | Mariah’s dad gave discounts to all the judges | 玛丽亚的爸爸给了所有评审 |
| [16:16] | at his mattress store. | 他床垫店的打折券 |
| [16:16] | And Mariah needs a win after she crashed her Tesla | 玛丽亚也需要赢一次 因为她开特斯拉车 |
| [16:19] | into her horse. | 撞到了她的马 心灵受创 |
| [16:21] | So, uh, all the judges are on the take? | 这么说所有评审都受贿了吗 |
| [16:26] | Honey, this is Jersey. | 亲 这里可是腐败的新泽西 |
| [16:28] | In that case, | 既然如此 |
| [16:30] | this bribe just turned into a blackmail, | 这场贿赂摇身变成勒索了 |
| [16:34] | ’cause I recorded the whole th– Oh, no. | 因为我把你刚才的话都录… 糟了 |
| [16:37] | I pocket-dialed my– Sorry. | 电话不小心拨给了… 抱歉 |
| [16:40] | Hi, Mom. | 你好 妈 |
| [16:43] | No, that-that was Rita. I was trying to do a– Okay. | 不 刚才那是丽塔 我就是想… 好 |
| [16:47] | – My mom says hi. Okay. – Yeah, okay. | -我妈向你问好 -行吧 |
| [16:55] | All right. Well, that was two days of something. | 好了 这两天比赛真一言难尽 |
| [17:00] | Before I announce the winner, | 在我宣布谁是冠军前 |
| [17:02] | tonight’s got me in a singing mood. | 今晚我突然有了高歌一曲的兴致 |
| [17:04] | Hit it! | 开唱 |
| [17:04] | ♪ She’s your queen for the hour ♪ | ♪她是你此刻的女王♪ |
| [17:08] | ♪ Your princess for the day ♪ | ♪你今天的公主♪ |
| [17:10] | ♪ She’s Miss Teen Exit 38 ♪ | ♪她就是花园州大道♪ |
| [17:13] | ♪ Off the Garden State Parkway. ♪ | ♪38号出口豆蔻小姐♪ |
| [17:17] | Thank you! | 谢谢大家 |
| [17:21] | So? | 怎么样 |
| [17:22] | – How’d it go with the judges? – We’ll see. | -买通评审了吗 -等会就知道了 |
| [17:24] | There was a line to bribe them. | 要贿赂他们的人排了一条长队 |
| [17:25] | You’re on the hook for a bath remodel, couple of decks. | 你要负责改装浴室 修修屋顶 |
| [17:28] | – That’s no problem. – And one of them wants you to go for a jog, | -没问题 -还有个评审想让你去跑一圈 |
| [17:29] | then give them your underwear. | 然后把内裤脱下来给TA |
| [17:32] | I have to go for a jog? | 居然让我去跑一圈 真变态 |
| [17:35] | All right, here we go. | 好了 马上宣布结果 |
| [17:37] | Ladies and gentlemen, | 女士们先生们 |
| [17:38] | your 2020 Miss Teen Exit 38 Off the Parkway is… | 2020年大道38号出口豆蔻小姐得主是… |
| [17:43] | Nicole Bennett. | 妮可·本奈特 |
| [17:45] | – Oh, it’s never been so great to hear that name. – I know. | -第一次听到这个名字感觉如此好 -就是啊 |
| [17:48] | Well, tied for when the folks at Costco found her alive. | 跟好市多员工发现她还活着那次不相上下啦 |
| [17:51] | – What? – What? | -什么 -什么 |
| [17:52] | The unicorns gave up, Sir Gallops-A-Lot. | 独角兽投降了 疾驰先生 |
| [17:54] | Do you think it’s a trick? | 你觉得是否有诈 |
| [17:56] | I say thee neigh! | 我觉得没有[马叫声] |
| [17:58] | The ponies have won! | 小马们赢了 |
| [18:01] | He’s actually playing with her. | 他真的在陪她玩呢 |
| [18:04] | Let’s never forget the sacrifice of our fallen ponies. | 我们永远铭记逝去小马驹做出的牺牲吧 |
| [18:08] | Sacrifice. | 牺牲 |
| [18:09] | That-That’s it. That’s how I’m gonna beat him. | 就是这个 我就要靠这个赢他 |
| [18:12] | Marc, let’s finish this. | 马科 我们一决胜负吧 |
| [18:14] | Do you want to lose with the board or the spices? | 你想用棋子还是用调料被我碾压 |
| [18:16] | Everything I need to beat you with is right in here. | 我打败你所需的一切都在我脑子里了 |
| [18:19] | Rook to queen one. | 车到Q1 |
| [18:20] | Queen to king seven. | 后到K7 |
| [18:21] | Bishop takes rook. Check. | 象吃车 将军 |
| [18:23] | Knight takes bishop. | 马吃象 |
| [18:24] | Dad takes walk, never comes back. | 老爸去散步 再也不回家 |
| [18:26] | Queen to queen’s knight eight. | 后到QN8 |
| [18:28] | Knight takes queen. | 马吃后 |
| [18:29] | Rook to queen eight. Checkmate! | 车到Q8 将军 |
| [18:31] | Guys, did you see that? | 你们都看到这激烈战况了吗 |
| [18:32] | No. No one saw anything. | 没有 我们看个毛啊 |
| [18:36] | Let’s keep this streak going. | 让我好运旺下去 |
| [18:37] | Another game, Marc? | 再来一盘吧 马科 |
| [18:38] | You’re on. | 放马过来 |
| [18:40] | I guess it was fun while it lasted. | 虽然时间不长 但好歹快乐过了 |
| [18:46] | Actually… sorry, Marc. | 其实 抱歉 马科 |
| [18:49] | Leila and I have a victory ball in Fluffera to attend. | 我和蕾拉要去蓬蓬国参加胜利舞会 |
| [18:52] | Ponies, to the clouds. | 小马们 飞上天 |
| [18:57] | Thanks for letting him win. | 谢谢你放水让他赢 |
| [18:58] | Seemed like the old guy needed one. | 老头似乎很需要 |
| [19:04] | There’s our winner. | 我们的冠军回来啦 |
| [19:05] | How does it feel? | 感觉怎么样啊 |
| [19:15] | Did you want the crown to be bigger? | 你是不是想要个更大的皇冠 |
| [19:17] | I didn’t want the crown at all, because I didn’t want win. | 我根本不想要皇冠 因为我并不想赢 |
| [19:20] | What? You wanted to lose? | 什么 你其实想输吗 |
| [19:23] | I ran the numbers, and it turns out | 我计算过了 原来 |
| [19:25] | losing a beauty pageant actually helps your political odds. | 输掉选美比赛反而能提高竞选胜算 |
| [19:28] | So now, instead of president, | 所以现在我当不成总统了 |
| [19:29] | I’m on the fast track to state senate. | 只能沦落到当个州参议员 |
| [19:33] | Oh, that’s okay, honey. | 没关系的 宝贝 |
| [19:34] | I mean, you’ll bounce back from… | 你会走出这次… |
| [19:37] | winning this beauty pageant. | 赢得选美冠军的重创 |
| [19:39] | Do you understand what’s going on here? | 你知道现在是什么情况吗 |
| [19:41] | I think we got what we wanted. | 我们好像如愿以偿了 |
| [19:43] | By winning, she failed at losing. | 通过赢 她在输这件事上失败了 |
| [19:47] | – So we did it? – This is terrible. | -这么说我们成功了 -这太糟糕了 |
| [19:49] | She feels this way because of us, | 她这么难过都是因为我们 |
| [19:51] | and now we’re helpless to do anything. | 而我们现在无计可施 什么都做不了 |
| [19:53] | This is terrible. | 一切都糟透了 |
| [19:55] | But we are not helpless. | 但我们并非无计可施 |
| [19:57] | This is what a lifetime of failure has trained us for. | 我们失败了一辈子就是为了今天做准备 |
| [20:02] | Come on. | 来 |
| [20:07] | Don’t understand. | 我不明白 |
| [20:08] | I worked so hard at being terrible, | 我已经很努力当个废物了 |
| [20:10] | and I was still too good. | 然而我仍然如此优秀 |
| [20:14] | Oh, honey, I know it feels bad right now, | 宝贝 我知道你现在很难过 |
| [20:16] | like you’ve hit rock bottom. | 觉得自己跌入了人生谷底 |
| [20:18] | But the thing about rock bottom is it’s kind of great. | 但其实身处谷底大有好处 |
| [20:22] | It’s like a vacation from your regular life. | 就像离开你平常的人生去放个假 |
| [20:24] | Yeah. You get to take naps that look like comas | 没错 你能不管不顾 睡到如同昏迷 |
| [20:27] | and watch reality TV about hot people | 也能看真人秀节目里的性感男女 |
| [20:29] | doing dumb things for money. | 为了钱做尽蠢事 |
| [20:31] | And say goodbye to caring if there’s loose food on your face. | 还可以不再在乎脸上是否沾了食物碎屑 |
| [20:34] | What’s that? I got a little something right there? | 那是什么 我脸上沾了东西吗 |
| [20:36] | Just leave it. | 管他呢 |
| [20:38] | Yeah. Because you’ve got better things to do. | 是的 因为你有更有意义的事可做 |
| [20:41] | Like blaming other people for things | 比如把明显是自己的错 |
| [20:43] | that are clearly your fault. | 怪到其他人头上 |
| [20:45] | Yeah. Like stupid Cassie. | 对 比如那个蠢婊凯茜 |
| [20:48] | You can try and hide your ankle bracelet all you want. | 她怎么藏脚踝上的”脚链”都没用的 |
| [20:50] | It doesn’t matter if one of the judges is your parole officer. | 因为其中一个评审正是她的保释官 |
| [20:54] | See? | 你瞧 |
| [20:55] | You’re a natural. | 你天生就会做这个 |
| [20:57] | Wow, that really works. | 这招真的很有用 |
| [20:59] | I feel a little better already. | 我已经好过些了 |
| [21:02] | – Cake? – All right. | -吃蛋糕吗 -好啊 |
| [21:04] | Uh-uh. | 等等 |
| [21:06] | What are you doing? | 你要干什么 |
| [21:12] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [21:13] | There you go. | 拿好了 |
| [21:22] | I’m gonna go get you some sweatpants. | 我去给你拿一条运动裤 |
| [21:25] | They’re napkins you can wear. | 它们就是穿在身上的餐巾纸 |