| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:13] | Well, another successful Marc and Leila birthday party | 今年马科和蕾拉的生日派对 |
| [00:15] | – in the books. – Sure, | -又成功得令人难忘 -是啊 |
| [00:16] | if success is measured by the number of guests | 如果成功的标准是看有几个客人 |
| [00:18] | who have nightmares. | 会做噩梦 |
| [00:20] | Hey, maybe next year we let Leila choose the theme. | 不如明年让蕾拉选派对主题吧 |
| [00:23] | “Mortality” is the only honest birthday theme. | “总有一死”是最实诚的生日派对主题 |
| [00:25] | Because every year brings you… | 因为每过一年人都会… |
| [00:27] | One step closer to a cold and endless nothing. | 离冰冷和无尽的虚无更近一步 |
| [00:30] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [00:33] | Go outside. | 到外面玩去 |
| [00:33] | Stop playing skull in the house. | 别在家里玩头骨 |
| [00:37] | So, between this and Brian’s science parties | 不是这种派对 就是布莱恩的科学派对 |
| [00:39] | and Nicole’s birthday networking mixers, | 还有妮可的生日社交聚会 |
| [00:42] | we’re never throwing a normal party, are we? | 我们永远办不了正常的派对 是不是 |
| [00:44] | Right now I’m just hoping that’s a fake skull. | 现在我只希望这个头骨是人造的 |
| [00:46] | Marc came home yesterday with a lot of mud on his clothes. | 马科昨天回家时衣服上沾了好多泥 |
| [00:50] | I’m always amazed by the statistical unlikelihood | 马科和蕾拉出生于同一天 |
| [00:53] | that Marc was born on the exact same day as Leila. | 这在统计学上很罕见 一直令我惊异 |
| [00:55] | The odds increase when you consider | 考虑到九个月前正好是父亲节 |
| [00:57] | that nine months ago is Father’s Day. | 可能性有所增加啦 |
| [00:59] | Yeah. That probably counted as Mom’s gift. | 是啊 那估计就是老妈送他的礼物 |
| [01:01] | It’s free, and you don’t have to leave the house to get it. | 免费炮 而且足不出户就能打完 |
| [01:05] | Brian, what did we say about talking? | 布莱恩 我们说好你说话前要怎么样 |
| [01:07] | Say it to myself five times, and if it still sounds weird, | 先默念五次 如果听起来还是奇怪 |
| [01:09] | don’t say it. | 就别说出口 |
| [01:11] | Although there is something that never sat quite right | 可是他们同一天生日这件事 |
| [01:14] | with me about their joint birthday. | 我一直觉得有些不对劲 |
| [01:16] | Now that you mention it, I feel like the seasons don’t line up. | 被你这么一提 我也觉得季节对不上 |
| [01:19] | I remember when Marc was born, it was spring | 我记得马科出生时 是春天 |
| [01:21] | and I had pollen-induced conjunctivitis. | 我得了花粉引起的结膜炎 |
| [01:25] | But when Leila was born, it was winter. | 但蕾拉出生时 是冬天 |
| [01:28] | And I fell through that frozen lake | 我摔进了一个结冰的湖 |
| [01:29] | that finally cleared my conjunctivitis. | 总算把结膜炎冲没了 |
| [01:34] | Memories are so crazy. | 记忆真奇妙啊 |
| [01:36] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [01:37] | You know what else is crazy? | 你们知道还有什么也很奇妙吗 |
| [01:39] | That you guys have written an entire rap musical | 你们写了一整部关于史蒂芬·霍金的 |
| [01:41] | about Stephen Hawking, and we haven’t heard it. | 说唱音乐剧 而我们居然没听过 |
| [01:45] | – No, we’re in the middle of… – How does a paraplegic | -不行 我们正在… -下身麻痹的 |
| [01:47] | King of strategic, son of a medical researcher… | 战略之帝 医学研究者之子 要如何… |
| [01:50] | No, they’re trying to distract us. | 别闹 他们想转移话题 |
| [01:52] | We’re onto something. | 我们就要发现真相了 |
| [01:53] | What are you hiding? | 你们在隐瞒什么 |
| [01:55] | Leila’s real birthday is in December. | 蕾拉真正的生日是在十二月 |
| [01:58] | They were just gonna hack the hospital. | 他们刚才都要黑入医院系统了 |
| [02:00] | Let’s have a normal Saturday. | 过个消停的周六不好吗 |
| [02:03] | You’ve lied about Leila’s birthday for eight years? | 蕾拉的生日你们骗了我们八年 |
| [02:05] | No. We lied about it once, | 不是 就骗了一次 |
| [02:07] | and no one’s questioned it for eight years. | 之后的八年都没人起疑 |
| [02:10] | It started because your grandparents couldn’t fly in | 起因是你们爷爷奶奶不能飞过来 |
| [02:12] | for Leila’s first birthday, so we just… | 给蕾拉过一岁生日 所以我们就… |
| [02:14] | combined it with Marc’s. | 跟马科的生日合并了 |
| [02:15] | And then we just kind of kept it that way. | 然后我们就干脆一直这么做了 |
| [02:17] | Cut us some slack. We were broken. | 放过我们吧 我们当年穷死了 |
| [02:20] | Four kids is exhausting and unnatural. | 养育四个孩子累死人 而且很反常 |
| [02:23] | I once confessed this to a priest and he said, | 我跟一位神父忏悔过 他说 |
| [02:26] | “I totally get it.” | “我完全能懂一次四个小孩有多累”[恋童] |
| [02:28] | Don’t you think it’s time you told her the truth? | 你们不觉得是时候跟她说实话了吗 |
| [02:31] | He’s right. | 他说得对 |
| [02:33] | We can’t keep lying to Leila. | 我们不能一直骗蕾拉 |
| [02:35] | Like this goodie bag says, | 正如这个礼品袋上写的 |
| [02:37] | “The evil that men do lives after them.” | “所行之恶 死后犹存” |
| [02:42] | Yes, but it also says, | 是 但上面还写了 |
| [02:44] | “Don’t weep for the dead. Weep for the living.” | “不为亡者哭 只为生者泣” |
| [02:47] | I’m starting to see why no one took any of these. | 我开始明白为什么没人拿走它们了 |
| [02:50] | Funky 高布丁Gwen 翻译 | |
| [02:51] | 驴驴 克里斯 翻译 | |
| [02:52] | Santolalla Eunice | 翻译 |
| [02:54] | 雷鸣 后期 | |
| [02:55] | Eunice | 总监 |
| [03:00] | So I wasn’t born on my birthday? | 所以我不是在我生日那天生的 |
| [03:02] | No, uh, you were, | 不 是那一天 |
| [03:04] | but, um– but that day was actually four months ago. | 但月份要往前推四个月 |
| [03:10] | Yesterday I was eight. | 所以我昨天八岁 |
| [03:11] | This morning I turned nine. | 今早就九岁了 |
| [03:12] | Now I’m almost ten. | 现在又快十岁了 |
| [03:14] | Life’s a wild ride. | 人生好荒唐 |
| [03:17] | But the important thing to remember is how bad we feel | 但重要的是 如果你有天和心理咨询师提起这事 |
| [03:19] | when you talk to your therapist about this one day. | 记得告诉人家我们超愧疚的 |
| [03:23] | It’s cool. I’m used to it. | 没事的 我习惯了 |
| [03:24] | For a while, I thought my full name was | 我曾一度以为我的全名是 |
| [03:27] | Has Anyone Seen Leila Bennett? | 有人看见·蕾拉·本奈特·了没 |
| [03:31] | Oh, wait, we’re also throwing you a party! | 等等 我们还要给你办个派对 |
| [03:34] | – We’re-we’re what? – Yeah! | -我们要干什么 -没错 |
| [03:36] | To make up for the eight years | 来补偿过去八年里 |
| [03:38] | of joint birthdays and skeleton parties | 那些合办生日宴 头骨派对 |
| [03:40] | and a couple of left-at-the-malls, | 还有几次把你落在超市 |
| [03:43] | you’re getting your very own bash. | 你可以有一场自己的狂欢 |
| [03:45] | And you don’t even have to wait for your real birthday. | 无需等到真正生日那一天 |
| [03:48] | Hmm? It’s a day just for you. | 是专属于你的一天 |
| [03:50] | A Leilapalooza! | 蕾拉狂欢日 |
| [03:53] | Wow. I hope someone brings Molly. | 我希望有人带莫莉[摇头丸]来 |
| [03:57] | Come on, Molly! | 走吧莫莉 |
| [04:00] | Oh, thank God. | 幸好不是指那个 |
| [04:02] | Wait, why are we throwing another party? | 等下 我们为什么要单独再给她办个派对 |
| [04:04] | She was cool with everything. | 她都没当回事儿 |
| [04:06] | That’s the problem. | 这就是问题所在 |
| [04:07] | She is so used to not feeling special, | 她习惯于不受重视 |
| [04:09] | she doesn’t even know she should be mad about this. | 她都不知道自己应该为这件事生气 |
| [04:11] | We have to make it up to her. | 我们必须补偿她 |
| [04:13] | I guess it would be nice to throw | 我觉得能办一次寻常孩子派对 |
| [04:15] | a normal kids’ party for once. | 也挺好的啦 |
| [04:16] | Something we can have fun at, too. | 我们也能在这样的派对上玩得开心 |
| [04:19] | My dad used to love my birthday parties. | 我爸以前可喜欢我的生日派对了 |
| [04:21] | Not because I was born | 不是因为我出生于那天 |
| [04:22] | but because we usually went to a Mets game. | 而是因为我们通常会去看大都会队的比赛 |
| [04:24] | Oh, should we do that? | 我们要不要也去看 |
| [04:27] | No. This is not about us. | 不 这不是我们的派对 |
| [04:29] | This is about Leila and what she wants. | 是蕾拉的 我们要看她想要干什么 |
| [04:31] | We are leaving this party totally up to her. | 我们要把派对的大权全部交给蕾拉 |
| [04:33] | Well, whatever she picks, | 好吧 无论她想做什么 |
| [04:35] | it’s got to be better than Marc asking us to find a cake that | 都肯定比马科让我们去找一个 |
| [04:38] | “screams when you cut it.” | “切开时会尖叫”的蛋糕强 |
| [04:43] | I think it knows we’re talking about it. | 我觉得它知道我们在说它 |
| [04:47] | You were delicious! | 你非常美味哦 |
| [04:55] | Hey. I’m about to go watch SmackDown. | 我准备看《美国摔角联盟》 |
| [04:56] | – You guys want to watch wrestling with me? – Sure. | -你俩要和我一起看摔跤吗 -好啊 |
| [04:58] | – Really? – No. | -真的吗 -当然是假的 |
| [05:00] | See? You’re not the only one who can lie. | 看吧 不是只有你会说谎 |
| [05:02] | We’ve been thinking about your birthday ruse, | 我们一直在思考你的生日诡计 |
| [05:04] | and it made us wonder… | 不禁联想到 |
| [05:06] | What else have you lied to us about? | 你们还骗了我们什么 |
| [05:08] | Okay. I guess you guys are old enough to know. | 我想你们也长大了 该知道了 |
| [05:11] | Uh, tons of things. We lie to you guys all the time. | 太多了 我们几乎每天都在骗你们 |
| [05:14] | We say whatever we have to to get by. | 为了熬过去我们什么都说得出口 |
| [05:15] | “Good morning” is a lie. | “早上好”就是个谎言 好个屁 |
| [05:19] | Sometimes we just fold the dirty laundry | 有时我们把你们的脏衣服叠一叠 |
| [05:21] | and put it back in your drawers. | 就当洗过了放回你们的抽屉 |
| [05:22] | Oh, and, uh– this is a good one– | 对了 这个才经典 |
| [05:24] | remember how we told you that if something were to happen | 还记得我们和你们说过 如果 |
| [05:26] | to me and Mom, you guys would become the wards | 我和你妈出事了 哈佛大学董事会 |
| [05:28] | of the Harvard board of trustees? | 会成为你们的监护人 |
| [05:30] | Oh, no. You’re leaving us to a state school? | 不 难道你们要把我们扔给公立学校 |
| [05:33] | It’s more of a party school. | 说轰趴学校更贴切啦 |
| [05:35] | It’s Rita and Irwin. | 由丽塔和欧文 |
| [05:36] | Are you serious? | 你们是认真的吗 |
| [05:37] | But they’re just different versions of you. | 他们不过是另个版本的你们 |
| [05:41] | We could kill you right now. | 我们现在就想杀了你们 |
| [05:42] | But then we’d be stuck with Rita and Irwin. | 但那样就会被迫跟着丽塔和欧文 |
| [05:44] | We’re in a trap of your own design. | 我们掉进了你们设好的圈套 |
| [05:46] | Whatever! I don’t need you guys anyway! | 随便啦 反正我也不需要你们 |
| [05:49] | I’ve got plenty of people who will watch wrestling with me. | 有好多人愿意和我一起看摔跤呢 |
| [05:52] | You used to be people, right? | 你生前也是人 对吧 |
| [05:55] | Hey, Leils. | 嘿 小蕾 |
| [05:56] | Hi, Dad. Hi, Jen. | 嗨 爸爸 嗨 珍 |
| [06:01] | So, you excited for your big party? | 有一个自己的盛大派对 很激动吧 |
| [06:03] | You know what you want to do for it yet? | 想好要干什么了吗 |
| [06:05] | No. Nicole said my party should be | 没呢 妮可说我的派对该为她的 |
| [06:08] | a $1,000-a-plate fundraiser for her super PAC. | 超级政治行动委员会筹款 一千块一盘 |
| [06:13] | No, don’t… | 不 |
| [06:14] | Don’t listen to what Nicole says. | 别听妮可的 |
| [06:16] | Kiddo, this-this party needs to be about you and what you like. | 孩子 这是你的派对 要做你喜欢的 |
| [06:19] | I don’t know what I like. | 我不知道我喜欢什么 |
| [06:21] | I could like anything. | 我好像什么都喜欢 |
| [06:22] | I even like Brian, and he’s a lot. | 我连布莱恩都喜欢 他可是难相处的绝世怪咖 |
| [06:27] | Well, um, I mean, I don’t want to influence you, but… | 我不是想左右你的判断啦 |
| [06:31] | maybe wrestling is something you would like. | 但也许你会喜欢摔跤 |
| [06:34] | You know, one of the best birthdays I ever had | 我有过最棒的一次生日派对 |
| [06:36] | was a wrestling theme. | 就是摔跤主题的 |
| [06:37] | But is wrestling your thing? | 但摔跤是你喜欢的事情 对吗 |
| [06:40] | ‘Cause you said I need my own thing. | 你说我要找到自己喜欢的事 |
| [06:42] | No, but that’s okay. You know, | 但那没关系的啊 |
| [06:43] | sometimes, sometimes parents like something first | 有时 父母喜欢某样东西 |
| [06:46] | and then their kids like it. | 他们的孩子就会耳濡目染 也喜欢上 |
| [06:48] | Like Mom. | 比如妈妈 |
| [06:50] | I liked Mom first, | 我先喜欢妈妈的 |
| [06:51] | and now you like her, right? | 现在你也喜欢她了 对不对 |
| [06:53] | I love Mom. | 我真的好爱妈妈 |
| [06:56] | Great! | 太好了 |
| [06:57] | Then we will have a wrestling party | 那我们就办个摔跤派对 |
| [06:59] | and watch SmackDown | 看《美国摔角联盟》 |
| [07:00] | and never tell her about any of this. | 然后永远不告诉妈妈这件事 |
| [07:04] | Fun! | 好好玩 |
| [07:05] | Daddy, I love cuddling with you when I’m on Molly. | 爸爸 我喜欢躺在莫莉身上抱着你 |
| [07:19] | So, in conclusion, when raising a Bennett child, | 总而言之 在养育本奈特家的小孩时 |
| [07:22] | the most important thing Is love. | 爱是重中之重 |
| [07:25] | And, again, LOVE is | 再强调一次 爱是缩写 |
| [07:28] | legal aid, | 代表法律援助 |
| [07:30] | organizational support, | 组织支持 |
| [07:33] | vermin– for research– | 仅供研究的害虫 |
| [07:36] | and eggs. | 和鸡蛋 |
| [07:38] | We like eggs. | 我们喜欢吃鸡蛋 |
| [07:41] | Any questions? | 还有什么问题吗 |
| [07:44] | Yes. Irwin. | 请说 欧文 |
| [07:46] | What the hell do you mean we get you when your parents die? | 你说你父母死后 你们就归我们管了是什么意思 |
| [07:50] | You two don’t know | 你们不知道 |
| [07:50] | you’re our legal guardians in their will? | 他们在遗嘱上把你们列为我们的法定监护人吗 |
| [07:53] | I didn’t know people who have nothing have wills. | 我不知道一无所有的人还会写遗嘱啊 |
| [07:56] | Well, in that case, congratulations. | 那样的话 恭喜你们 |
| [07:59] | This must be very exciting for you. | 你们肯定很激动吧 |
| [08:01] | It’s not. | 激动个鬼啊 |
| [08:04] | We already have three kids. | 我们已经有三个小孩了 |
| [08:05] | You think I want this full-time? | 你以为我会想每天听你们扯淡吗 |
| [08:08] | Wait, we knew we didn’t want you. | 等等 我们知道我们不想要你们 |
| [08:10] | But you don’t want us? | 但你们竟然不想要我们 |
| [08:12] | No offense, but you guys | 无意冒犯 但是你们 |
| [08:14] | are the most high-maintenance pains in the asses we know. | 是我们见过最难伺候的小孩 |
| [08:16] | – Right, babe? – Right. | -对吧 宝贝 -没错 |
| [08:18] | Brian, you’re a walking sneeze. | 布莱恩 你就是行走的喷嚏 |
| [08:21] | And, Nicole, | 妮可 |
| [08:22] | I’m pretty sure you were sent back from the future | 我敢肯定你就是未来世界派来 |
| [08:24] | to kill John Connor. | 杀约翰·康纳的终结者 |
| [08:26] | And Marc’s been over there sharpening a knife this whole time. | 而马科一直坐在那边磨刀呢 |
| [08:33] | I’m making fajitas later. | 我一会要做墨西哥烤肉 |
| [08:36] | Oh. Well, that’s not so bad. | 那情况还不算糟 |
| [08:38] | But that’s not what the knife is for. | 但这把刀不是做烤肉用的 |
| [08:40] | – No, babe. – You go over there. | -不 宝贝 -你坐那边 |
| [08:42] | Babe. | 宝贝 |
| [08:45] | Hey, Nik. | 嗨 妮妮 |
| [08:46] | Want to read a bunch of made-up gossip | 想和我一起看一堆 |
| [08:48] | about the royal family with me? | 瞎编的王室家族八卦吗 |
| [08:49] | There’s a new royal dog, and, apparently, | 他们又养了一只皇家狗 显然 |
| [08:52] | she’s only the second biggest bitch in the palace. | 那只狗只是宫里第二婊的 |
| [08:57] | Is this stack of magazines why we don’t have apples? | 这堆杂志是我们没钱买苹果的原因吗 |
| [09:00] | Fruit goes bad in two days. | 水果放两天就烂了 |
| [09:02] | This little red number’s been ripe for 17 years. | 这个红发小伙可是”熟”了17年了 |
| [09:07] | He hasn’t even killed his brother yet | 他还没杀了他的哥哥 |
| [09:08] | to take over the throne. | 夺取王位 |
| [09:10] | Such a turnoff. | 可真没用 |
| [09:15] | Hey, Mom. For my wrestling party, | 妈妈 在我的摔跤派对上 |
| [09:17] | do we have any cans of whoop ass? | 会有互殴的场面吗 |
| [09:20] | For your wrestling party? | 你的摔跤派对吗 |
| [09:22] | How did you come up with that? | 你怎么会想到开摔跤派对 |
| [09:24] | Oh, Daddy told me what to say if you ask me. | 爸爸教过我如果你问我 我该怎么回答 |
| [09:26] | He said, | 他说 |
| [09:27] | “This is important. | “这个很重要 |
| [09:28] | If Mommy asks, | 如果妈妈问起来 |
| [09:30] | I had nothing to do with it.” | 就说这个主意跟我无关” |
| [09:33] | “Cause you know how irrational she can be.” | “因为你知道她有多不讲理” |
| [09:36] | Then he said, | 然后他说 |
| [09:37] | “Don’t say the irrational part.” | “别提起不讲理那部分” |
| [09:41] | Oops. | 糟了 |
| [09:44] | Look, you don’t have to do wrestling | 听着 你不用因为你爸爸喜欢摔跤 |
| [09:46] | because your dad likes it. | 就硬办摔跤主题啊 |
| [09:48] | You can pick whatever you want. | 你可以选任何你喜欢的事做 |
| [09:50] | Like what? | 比如呢 |
| [09:51] | That’s for you to o figure out. | 那就要靠你自己想了 |
| [09:53] | I’ll just be here reading my magazines. | 我就在这看我的杂志 |
| [09:56] | About real-life princesses. | 这上面写的是现实中的公主 |
| [09:59] | Are you for serious? | 你是说真的吗 |
| [10:01] | Oh, yeah. | 当然了 |
| [10:02] | Yeah, there’s a whole family of them. | 有一整个家族呢 |
| [10:04] | There are crowns and castles | 有王冠和城堡 |
| [10:06] | and cousins that look like talking mice. | 还有表亲 长得像会说话的老鼠 |
| [10:09] | Here. See for yourself. | 给你 你自己看 |
| [10:11] | Mmm, who’s that strawberry? | 这位可人儿是谁啊 |
| [10:14] | Hey, Red. I’m Leila. | 你好 红发帅哥 我是蕾拉 |
| [10:21] | So, when exactly were you gonna tell me and Rita | 你到底什么时候才要告诉我和丽塔 |
| [10:22] | that you were leaving us your kids? | 你们要把孩子丢给我们 |
| [10:24] | Was this supposed to be some deathbed thing | 这是要临终托孤 |
| [10:25] | so that we couldn’t say no? | 所以我们不能拒绝吗 |
| [10:27] | I told you. | 我告诉过你的 |
| [10:28] | Remember, we were out and you dared me to drink | 记得吗 我们有一次出去 |
| [10:30] | a bottle of hot sauce and I said, “Okay, | 你逼我喝一瓶辣酱 我说好吧 |
| [10:32] | but if I die, you get my kids.” | 但如果我死了 孩子就交给你 |
| [10:34] | Damn it. And then we high-fived. | 该死 然后我们击掌了 |
| [10:36] | And that’s legally binding in the state of New Jersey. | 这在新泽西就相当于有法律效力了 |
| [10:39] | The only family we have in the area is Kay’s cousin Sebastian. | 这片地区我们唯一的亲戚的就是凯的表弟塞巴斯蒂安 |
| [10:43] | The kids don’t even know him. He lives alone on a farm. | 孩子们都不认识他 他一个人住在农场 |
| [10:46] | Yeah, but come on, Mike. | 得了吧 麦克 |
| [10:47] | We don’t know anything about raising four white kids. | 我们可不懂怎么养四个白人小孩 |
| [10:50] | So, what, now we got to start buying Wheat Thins | 现在我们要开始买谷物饼干 |
| [10:52] | and figure out what a Harry Styles is? | 并且搞明白哈卷是谁了吗 |
| [10:55] | Look, I don’t think you need to worry, Irwin, okay? | 听着 你不用担心 欧文 |
| [10:58] | We don’t plan on dying anytime soon. | 我们近期没死掉的打算 |
| [11:01] | Hmm. How’s that nacho taste? Good? | 刚才那玉米片好吃吗 |
| [11:06] | ‘Cause it’s the last one you’re ever gonna eat. | 你以后再也不准吃不健康的玉米片了 |
| [11:08] | We got to keep you alive, man. | 我们得让你好好活着 |
| [11:10] | And slipping on a nacho is another good way to die. | 踩着玉米片打滑摔死也是另一种好死法 |
| [11:13] | I’m going to the kitchen to get some paper towels. | 我要去厨房拿点纸巾 |
| [11:18] | Oh. Hey, Leils. | 小蕾 |
| [11:20] | I have a surprise for your party. | 我给你的派对准备了个惊喜 |
| [11:21] | Are you ready for this? | 你准备好了吗 |
| [11:30] | What?! | 尖叫声呢 |
| [11:31] | So you’ve been wearing that under your clothes | 所以我们说话那阵子 |
| [11:33] | the whole time we’ve been talking? | 你衣服底下一直穿着这套吗 |
| [11:35] | I got you a matching one, too, | 我也给你准备了一套 |
| [11:37] | so we can both wear them at the party. | 这样我们在派对就能一起穿了 |
| [11:38] | But I’m not doing a wrestling party anymore. | 但我不想办摔角派对了 |
| [11:41] | Wait. Wha-What are you talking about? | 你在说什么 |
| [11:43] | Then what kind of party is it? | 那要办什么派对 |
| [11:45] | ‘Ello, Leila. | 侬好 蕾拉 |
| [11:48] | Look at this dress I got for your… | 看我为你准备的裙子 |
| [11:52] | Cheerio. | 您老再见 |
| [11:54] | Are you for serious? | 你认真的吗 |
| [11:56] | Leila decided for her party, | 蕾拉决定好派对主题了 |
| [11:57] | she wants to do a royal wedding theme. | 她想做王室婚礼主题 |
| [12:00] | Oh, did she? | 是吗 |
| [12:02] | And she came up with that idea all on her own? | 她自己想出来的吗 |
| [12:04] | Yeah, just like she came up with wrestling… all on her own. | 是啊 就像她自己想出摔角主题一样 |
| [12:07] | What makes you think I had anything | 你凭什么以为 |
| [12:08] | to do with the wrestling idea? | 我跟摔角主题有关系 |
| [12:09] | Yeah, okay, I know how this looks. | 好吧 我知道我穿这样很有嫌疑 |
| [12:12] | I don’t think you do, Mike. | 我想你并不知道 麦克 |
| [12:14] | And definitely not from the back. | 尤其从后面看起来是什么美景 |
| [12:16] | Face it, Mike. Leila wants to be a princess. | 面对现实吧 麦克 蕾拉想当公主 |
| [12:19] | She wants the crown and the dress and the pageantry. | 她想要王冠 裙子和盛典 |
| [12:23] | You know what? Why don’t we let her decide? | 何不让她决定呢 |
| [12:25] | Leils, would you like a frilly, uptight tea party, | 小蕾 你是想要穿着华服 开拘禁的茶会 |
| [12:30] | or a party where you can do this? | 还是可以让你这样做的派对 |
| [12:35] | Flip me over and body slam me. | 给我来个过肩摔 |
| [12:36] | – I said I need you alive! – Oh, are you scared? | -我说了我得保住你小命 -害怕了吗 |
| [12:38] | Mike, I can’t raise your kids. I don’t have enough costumes! | 麦克 我不能帮你养孩子 我没这么多戏服 |
| [12:41] | Oh, then say good night! | 那就说晚安吧 |
| [12:42] | It’s too tight! I’m not playing! | 太紧了 我没在闹 |
| [12:43] | Michael Mania is running wild! Aah! | 摔角大师失控了 |
| [12:49] | I’m gonna end up with those kids. | 我要被迫接收这些孩子了 |
| [12:57] | How’s your back? | 你的背怎么样了 |
| [12:58] | It’s fine. You should see the other guy. | 没事了 你该看看另一个人伤成什么样 |
| [13:01] | Yeah, you scratched Irwin pretty bad | 是啊 欧文抱你到沙发上时 |
| [13:03] | when he carried you to the couch. | 你把他的背都抓破了 |
| [13:06] | Look, I’m sorry. | 听着 我很抱歉 |
| [13:08] | I shouldn’t have talked Leila into wrestling. | 我不该劝蕾拉办摔角派对 |
| [13:10] | I just thought that maybe if this party worked out, | 我就是想 如果这个派对成功了 |
| [13:13] | we could have a thing together. | 我们父女就有共同爱好了 |
| [13:15] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [13:16] | But that is not what this part was supposed to be about. | 但这不该是这个派对的重点 |
| [13:18] | – This was Leila’s day. – I am way ahead of you. | -这是专属于蕾拉的一天 -我早想到了 |
| [13:21] | I already canceled the reservation at the wrestling gym | 我已经取消了摔角馆的预约 |
| [13:23] | so you guys can have your princess party. | 这样你们就能办公主派对了 |
| [13:24] | So, you know… hero. | 我是英雄吧 |
| [13:28] | What? No, no, not hero! | 什么 不是英雄 |
| [13:31] | I felt bad about forcing my party on her | 我对于把我的想法强加于她感到很愧疚 |
| [13:32] | so I canceled the tea room. | 所以也取消了茶馆 |
| [13:34] | So now we don’t have anything? | 所以现在什么安排都没了吗 |
| [13:36] | No! We have to scrape something together by tomorrow morning. | 没了 我们得在明早之前凑出点什么 |
| [13:40] | Okay. You know, th-thi-this is just like in wrestling. | 好吧 其实这跟摔跤一样 |
| [13:42] | You know? The moment you think it’s over, the hero rises. | 你觉得已经结束的那一刻 英雄崛起了 |
| [13:50] | You should go. I’m stuck here now. | 你该走了 我现在卡住了起不来 |
| [13:56] | So, the dude’s name is Sebastian. | 那哥们叫塞巴斯蒂安 |
| [13:59] | He’s your mom’s cousin, and he lives on a farm. | 他是你妈妈的表弟 他住在农场里 |
| [14:01] | – And best of all, he’s not us. – No. | -最棒的是 他不是我们 -没错 |
| [14:04] | Farm. Interesting. | 农场 有趣 |
| [14:06] | Quiet solitude, no distractions. | 能安静独处 没有干扰 |
| [14:09] | And we’ll be swimming in vermin and eggs! | 而且我们将会被虫子和鸡蛋围绕 |
| [14:12] | Question: | 问个问题 |
| [14:13] | is there a corn maze on this farm? | 这农场里有玉米迷宫吗 |
| [14:15] | And if so, does it lead to madness? | 如果有 会通向疯狂吗 |
| [14:20] | Sebastian sounds great. We’ll take it. | 塞巴斯蒂安听上去不错 我们要了 |
| [14:22] | No, no, no, no, we don’t have to convince you. | 不 不 不 我们不用说服你们 |
| [14:24] | – We got to convince him. – That shouldn’t be hard. | -我们得说服他 -那应该不会很难 |
| [14:26] | We’ll just give him the same presentation we gave you. | 我们只需把给你们的展示报告再给他做一遍 |
| [14:28] | We’ll just cut in some images of us frolicking with livestock. | 只需插入一些我们和家畜嬉戏的图片 |
| [14:32] | No, we cut off power to his farm. | 不 我们断了他农场的电 |
| [14:35] | He’ll be isolated, paranoid. | 他就会孤立无助 变得偏执 |
| [14:37] | A man like that is bound to say yes to anything. | 陷入那种绝境的男人什么都会同意的 |
| [14:39] | No! What is wrong with you? | 不 你们有什么毛病 |
| [14:41] | Just turn off your brains for a second and just be people. | 暂时关掉你们的大脑 做一下人类行不行 |
| [14:45] | Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. | 我们接下来这么做 |
| [14:47] | We’re going to invite Sebastian | 我们要邀请塞巴斯蒂安 |
| [14:49] | to Leila’s party and win him over. | 来参加蕾拉的派对 并说服他 |
| [14:51] | Yes, and not with presentations or scare tactics. | 是的 而且不是通过展示报告或恐吓战术 |
| [14:55] | – You got to charm the guy. – You don’t think we’re charming? | -你们得用自身魅力打动他 -你觉得我们没有魅力吗 |
| [14:58] | No, not when you’re talking | 当然没有 尤其当你们说什么 |
| [14:59] | about swimming in vermin and eggs. | 被虫子和鸡蛋围绕时 |
| [15:00] | All right, everybody zip it! | 好了 所有人闭嘴 |
| [15:03] | We’re gonna teach you how to pass for people. | 我们要教你们怎么假扮成人类 |
| [15:06] | You’re up first, Old-Man Sweater. | 你先来 老头衫 |
| [15:12] | Quick update. | 最新消息 |
| [15:14] | I think I’m falling in love with Rita. | 我觉得我爱上丽塔了 |
| [15:20] | This is the party that Leila wanted? | 这是蕾拉想要的派对吗 |
| [15:22] | I thought she was the normal one. | 我还以为她是正常的那个孩子 |
| [15:24] | It’s the best we could do on short notice. | 这是我们短时间内能做到最好的了 |
| [15:26] | Though I do admit, that pile of mattresses looked | 不过我承认 我磕止痛药嗨起来时 |
| [15:29] | a lot more like a bouncy house when I was on pain meds. | 的确觉得那堆床垫很像跳跳床 |
| [15:32] | The party store only had St. Paddy’s Day clearance stuff. | 派对商店只有圣帕迪节的清仓物品 |
| [15:34] | The only things we could save from the original parties were | 我们能从原来的派对上保留下来的 |
| [15:36] | some princess costumes and the wrestler I hired. | 只有公主裙和我雇的摔跤手 |
| [15:39] | Hey. Bloodbath. Nice to meet you. | 嘿 大屠杀 很高兴见到你 |
| [15:42] | I think there was a mix-up with the costumes. | 我觉得变装服可能搞混了 |
| [15:45] | No, you got it. | 不 你穿对了 |
| [15:47] | Today you’re Princess Bloodbath. | 今天你是大屠杀公主 |
| [15:51] | Hey, quick question. | 有个小问题 |
| [15:53] | You think my legs look okay in this dress? | 你觉得我穿这条裙子时腿美不美 |
| [15:58] | You look beautiful. | 你看起来很漂亮 |
| [16:03] | Oh, God. Babe, the kids– | 天啊 宝贝 孩子们 |
| [16:05] | they’re talking to Cousin Sebastian. | 他们在和塞巴斯蒂安表弟讲话 |
| [16:07] | Okay, it looks normal. | 好 看起来挺正常 |
| [16:09] | – Yeah. – Wait. What’s Marc’s face doing? | -是啊 -等等 马科的脸怎么了 |
| [16:12] | He’s gearing up to bite him. | 他准备咬他呢吧 |
| [16:13] | No. Honey, he’s smiling! They’re acting human, babe! | 不 亲爱的 他在笑 他们在假装人类 宝贝 |
| [16:18] | They’re actually doing what we taught them. | 他们真的在做我们教他们的事 |
| [16:21] | Brian hasn’t done one awkward medieval bow. | 布莱恩一个尴尬的中世纪鞠躬都没做 |
| [16:23] | I know. Oh, do that thing we taught you. | 就是啊 做那个我们教的动作 |
| [16:26] | You can do it, baby. | 你可以做到的 宝贝 |
| [16:30] | – Yes! – She blinked! | -太棒了 -她眨眼了 |
| [16:31] | – Yes! Yes! – She blinked. | -是的是的 -她眨眼了 |
| [16:33] | She’s gonna use that for the rest of her life, babe. | 她以后的人生都懂得这招了 宝贝 |
| [16:35] | We taught her that. We taught her that! | 我们教会她的 是我们教会她的 |
| [16:41] | I got to give us credit. | 真该夸夸我们 |
| [16:42] | We did a pretty good job pulling this off. | 虽然时间紧迫 但我们最后做得不错 |
| [16:45] | You can’t even tell this was an erotic cake. | 都看不出来这本来是个色情蛋糕 |
| [16:48] | Well, I can, but I can find boobs in anything. | 我能看出来 但我有”看万物皆是奶”的天赋 |
| [16:53] | Okay, everybody, it’s cake time. | 好了 各位 该吃蛋糕了 |
| [16:56] | * Ha… * | *祝…* |
| [17:05] | Has anyone seen Leila? | 有人看见蕾拉了吗 |
| [17:07] | She hasn’t been here the whole time. | 她整场派对都不在 |
| [17:10] | We lost Leila at her own party? | 我们在蕾拉的派对上把蕾拉弄丢了吗 |
| [17:12] | This does not feel like a good moment for you. | 这一刻对你们来说 好像不太美妙 |
| [17:27] | Hey. Cousin Sebastian, right? | 你是塞巴斯蒂安表弟 对吧 |
| [17:28] | Cousin Sebastian is what my cousins call me. | 我的表亲们才叫我塞巴斯蒂安表弟 |
| [17:30] | You can call me Regular Sebastian. | 你叫我普通的塞巴斯蒂安就行 |
| [17:34] | We saw you talking to Brian, Nicole and Marc before. | 我们之前看到你跟布莱恩 妮可和马科聊天 |
| [17:36] | Yeah. I’m sorry. Why were you watching me talk to children? | 是的 不过你们为何观察我跟孩子们聊天 |
| [17:42] | Well, it looked to us like you really hit it off. | 我们觉得你们真的很合得来 |
| [17:44] | – Yeah. – They’re impressive, right? | -是啊 -他们很讨人喜欢 对吧 |
| [17:46] | If I’m being honest, they’re a little weird. | 说实话 他们有点怪怪的 |
| [17:49] | That older boy’s hiding something. | 那个年长的男孩有所隐瞒 |
| [17:51] | And the younger boy’s not hiding something, but he should. | 年幼的男孩倒没隐瞒什么 但他该隐瞒的 |
| [17:55] | On the farm, we’d say | 在农场 |
| [17:57] | those kids are the horse corn of people. | 我们会称这种孩子为奇葩[玉米] |
| [18:01] | Excuse me! Well, what in the hell do you know? | 不好意思 你知道个屁啊 |
| [18:04] | About horse corn, quite a bit. | 本农夫对于玉米还是略懂一二的 |
| [18:07] | Let me tell you something. | 老娘告诉你 |
| [18:08] | Those kids may be tiny psychos, but they’re special. | 那些孩子也许是小神经病 但他们很特别 |
| [18:11] | Yeah, and they’ll make you better. | 没错 而且他们会让人变得更好 |
| [18:13] | Nicole is teaching me how to speak Dothraki, | 妮可正在教我说《权力的游戏》里的多斯拉克语 |
| [18:15] | and Brian made it so that my car can run on French fry oil. | 布莱恩帮我改装了车子 现在可用炸薯条油替代汽油 |
| [18:20] | I’m sorry. Who are you? | 不好意思 你们是哪位啊 |
| [18:22] | I’ll tell you who we are. | 我告诉你我们是何方神圣 |
| [18:24] | We may not be some fancy farm cousins, | 我们也许不是高端的农场表亲 |
| [18:27] | but we know we’re two people who are lucky enough | 但我们知道生命中能拥有那几个孩子 |
| [18:28] | to have those kids in our lives. | 是我们的幸运 |
| [18:30] | That’s right, and if it takes you more than five minutes | 没错 如果你五分钟之内无法意识到这一点 |
| [18:32] | to recognize that, then you don’t deserve | 那麦克和凯嗝屁后 |
| [18:34] | to have them live on your farm when Mike and Kay are dead! | 你就不配接他们到你的农场住 |
| [18:38] | I’m more confused now than when I got this invite | 我现在比收到邀请时更困惑了 |
| [18:41] | to what I was told was a hog auction. | 我本以为我是来竞拍猪的 |
| [18:44] | Well, then, go on! | 那你就滚蛋啊 |
| [18:46] | Go on back to your farm! | 滚回你的农场去 |
| [18:47] | I hope your rooster’s broken and you oversleep! | 我诅咒你的公鸡坏掉 你睡过头 |
| [18:50] | Using a bird as an alarm clock like the damn Flintstones. | 居然像摩登原始人那样用鸟来当闹钟 |
| [18:54] | Yabba-dabba-dumbass. | 笨笨傻逼 |
| [18:56] | Did you mean all that? | 你们刚才说的都是真心话吗 |
| [18:58] | Every word. | 字字属实 |
| [19:00] | Will you do us the honor | 你们愿意赏脸 |
| [19:01] | of making us your guardians when your parents die? | 在你们爸妈死后 让我们当你们的监护人吗 |
| [19:05] | Yes. | 愿意 |
| [19:05] | Yes, a thousand times yes! | 一千次愿意 |
| [19:10] | You smell like sunsets. | 你闻起来就像日落 |
| [19:16] | Hey, Leils, we’ve been looking for you. | 小蕾 我们到处找你 |
| [19:20] | This is where I come sometimes to get away from everything. | 有时 我想躲避一切 就会来这里 |
| [19:23] | Oh. You don’t eat the brownies we leave down here, do you? | 你没吃我们放在这儿的布朗尼蛋糕[含大麻]吧 |
| [19:25] | Because those ar.. | 因为那些蛋糕有… |
| [19:27] | …poison. Those are poison. | 有毒 很毒哦 |
| [19:32] | I guess we blew it today, huh? | 我们今天搞砸了 对吧 |
| [19:35] | We’re sorry, kiddo. | 对不起 孩子 |
| [19:37] | We got caught up and forgot this was supposed to be about you. | 我们太投入了 忘记了你才是主角 |
| [19:40] | It’s okay. I liked the party. | 没关系 我喜欢这场派对 |
| [19:42] | Well, then what’s wrong? | 那是怎么了 |
| [19:44] | Why you hiding down here? | 你为什么躲在地下室 |
| [19:46] | My favorite part about my old birthday was doing it with Marc. | 以前过生日 我最喜欢的就是能和马科一起庆祝 |
| [19:49] | Now it’s just me. It’s no fun without him. | 现在只剩我自己 没有他就不好玩了 |
| [19:53] | Oh, sweetie. | 宝贝 |
| [19:55] | Well, this is your party, | 这是你的派对 |
| [19:57] | and we said it should be anything you want. | 我们说过你想做什么都行 |
| [20:01] | So… what do you want? | 那你想要什么呢 |
| [20:05] | Happy… well, I guess nobody’s birthday. | 祝你… 好吧 今天没人生日 |
| [20:09] | And our gift to you– from now on, | 我们给你们的礼物就是 从今天起 |
| [20:12] | me and your mom promise: no more secrets. | 我和妈妈保证不会再对你们说谎和保密 |
| [20:14] | And in the spirit of our new family honesty, | 本着我们家从此诚实相待的精神 |
| [20:17] | we’d like it known that we’re okay if you die. | 我们想告诉你们 你们死了也没关系的 |
| [20:20] | Yeah, us, too. | 对 我们也是 |
| [20:23] | Pass me the cake. | 蛋糕递给我 |
| [20:25] | – Yeah. – I’ll get plates. | -好 -我去拿盘子 |
| [20:26] | Well, turned out to be our most normal birthday ever. | 结果这是我们过过的最正常的生日 |
| [20:30] | I know. | 就是啊 |
| [20:31] | It’s almost like we’re getting the hang of this. | 几乎像是我们逐渐掌握诀窍了 |
| [20:35] | Just so you know, | 告诉你们一声 |
| [20:36] | the rental guys are here to pick up those mattresses. | 租借的人员来收走床垫了 |
| [20:38] | Uh, those are our mattresses. | 那些床垫是我们的 |
| [20:40] | Oh. Then, some dudes are stealing your mattresses. | 那就是有人来偷你们的床垫了 |
| [20:44] | Come on, Bennetts. We’re going to war! | 本奈特们 我们要迎战啦 |
| [20:45] | Let’s go, guys. Go, go, go! | 走吧 孩子们 冲啊 |
| [20:49] | Ooh, fight. I’m right behind you. | 要打架啊 我马上就来 |
| [20:52] | I’m not doing that. | 我才不要去 |
| [20:57] | You have a very… | 你有丰富的… |
| [20:59] | imagination. | 想象力 |
| [21:01] | Thanks, Irwin. It looks better when you see it all together. | 谢了 欧文 拼在一起你更能体会 |
| [21:13] | Oh, damn. | 我靠 |
| [21:15] | You’re one of them, then. | 所以你也是天才啊 |
| [21:18] | Mom and Dad aren’t the only ones who can keep a secret. | 不是只有爸妈擅长保守秘密 |
| [21:21] | Can you keep a secret, Irwin? | 你能保密吗 欧文 |