| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:11] | Trust me, boss. | 相信我 老大 |
| [00:12] | We gonna move so much argyle meth | 我们能卖出很多菱状纹冰毒 |
| [00:14] | you’ll be rich enough to pay Brendan Fraser | 让你都能雇布兰登·弗雷泽 |
| [00:16] | to tickle your tank. | 给你挠背 |
| [00:17] | He only charged me $30, Robbie. | 他才收了我30元 罗比 |
| [00:20] | Mark my words. | 记住我的话 |
| [00:22] | We know how to motivate our drug dealers. | 我们知道怎么鼓舞我们的毒贩 |
| [00:27] | Good morning, drug dealers! | 早上好 毒贩们 |
| [00:30] | Delbert, look at all these winners out here. | 德尔贝 看看这些胜出的人 |
| [00:32] | Now, y’all had a great week last week, | 你们上周过得都很开心 |
| [00:34] | but our boss wants you to move | 但是我们的老大想要你们 |
| [00:36] | even more argyle meth. | 卖出更多菱状纹冰毒 |
| [00:38] | Can you tell me more about | 能不能再多和我说说 |
| [00:39] | the many benefits of this great product? | 这完美产品的更多优点 |
| [00:42] | Good question man! I don’t know. | 问得好 伙计 |
| [00:44] | First of all, it cures ADHD. | 首先 它能治愈小儿多动症 |
| [00:47] | Plus it makes you feel like this. | 以及它会让你感觉像这样 |
| [00:56] | But my customers keep complaining about their teeth falling out. | 但是我的客人投诉说他们的牙要掉了 |
| [00:59] | Who the hell needs teeth? | 谁需要牙齿啊 |
| [01:01] | Fish ain’t got no teeth, and they way smarter than we is. | 鱼就没有牙齿 它们比我们聪明多了 |
| [01:04] | Ain’t that right, woman I don’t know? | 对吧 我不认识的这位女性 |
| [01:06] | I always say, teeth are just a bunch of blowjob blockers. | 我经常说 牙齿只是口交的绊脚石 |
| [01:09] | Speaking of fish, this month’s top seller wins | 说到鱼 本月销售量最高的人 |
| [01:12] | this Billy Bigmouth Bass. | 将赢得这条比利大嘴鲈鱼 |
| [01:17] | Uh… and gets to screw Delbert’s sister. | 还能上德尔贝的姐姐 |
| [01:24] | Delbert, where the hell you going? | 德尔贝 你去哪里呢 |
| [01:25] | To sell some argyle meth. | 去卖菱状纹冰毒 |
| [01:26] | If anybody’s screwing my sister, it’s gonna be me. | 如果有谁能上我姐姐 那只能是我 |
| [01:29] | All right, but you gotta take in Chemo Man with you. | 好吧 但你得带上这个化疗男 |
| [01:32] | He’s shedding all over the damn floor. | 他的头发掉的满地都是 |
| [01:51] | Okay, argyle meth task force, welcome to our first briefing. | 菱状纹冰毒特别小组 欢迎进行我们第一次简报 |
| [01:55] | If everybody could just focus on this case… | 如果大家能专注在这起案子上… |
| [01:57] | We got nothing to go on. | 我们继续不下去了 |
| [01:58] | Because I took this from the bathroom. | 因为我从厕所拿了这个 |
| [02:02] | This guy’s a goddamn genius! | 这家伙是个该死的天才 |
| [02:04] | A comedy genius! | 喜剧天才 |
| [02:06] | – What the hell are you wearing, bro? – Just because we’re cops | -你穿着什么呢 哥们 -我们当了警察 |
| [02:09] | doesn’t mean I can’t look cute. | 不代表我不能美美的 |
| [02:10] | Get out of my face! | 别粘着我的脸 |
| [02:14] | Get off me, you slimy shitcocks! | 别碰我 你们这两个混蛋 |
| [02:20] | She showed you, Ronnie! | 她揍了你 罗尼 |
| [02:22] | Oh! Now I feel it in my stomach. | 现在我肚子也疼了 |
| [02:24] | Do that to me next. I like it rough. | 下一个这么对我 我喜欢来硬的 |
| [02:26] | Well, I guess I do. I can’t feel shit. | 我想是吧 我什么都感觉不到 |
| [02:28] | Hey, Stephen Stocking, | 史蒂文·变态 |
| [02:30] | one more pervy comment and I’ll pound your face. | 再说下流话我就干烂你的脸 |
| [02:33] | You promise? | 你保证吗 |
| [02:35] | Hey, keep it down! | 小声点 |
| [02:36] | Yes, we’d love for your magazine | 好啊 欢迎你的杂志 |
| [02:38] | to do a story on our police department. | 为我们警局做一期报道 |
| [02:40] | What’s the name of it again? Senor what? | 叫什么名字来着 什么市民 |
| [02:44] | Hello? God damn it! | 喂 该死 |
| [02:47] | An international magazine is coming to do a story on us | 一家国际杂志要来报道我们 |
| [02:50] | and we need some good PR, | 我们需要好公关 |
| [02:52] | which we ain’t gonna get with | 有这些怪胎在 |
| [02:53] | the Retardridge Family doofing up the joint. | 那时根本不可能的 |
| [02:56] | Kevin, get these freaks outta here! | 凯文 把这些怪胎赶出去 |
| [02:58] | Dad, they’re my argyle meth task force, remember? | 爸爸 他们是我的特别小组的 记得吗 |
| [03:01] | All right, fine. | 好吧 |
| [03:02] | Hey, how about I give you | 不如我给你设一个 |
| [03:04] | your own special task force headquarters? | 专属特别特别小组总部吧 |
| [03:06] | Really? That’s amazing! Where? | 真的吗 太棒了 在哪里 |
| [03:09] | This is awesome! | 太棒了 |
| [03:10] | When Dad said basement, | 爸爸说地下室时 |
| [03:11] | I thought it was gonna be gross or something. | 我还以为会很恶心什么的呢 |
| [03:14] | Where is this water coming from? | 这些水是哪里来的 |
| [03:20] | What’s the first thing we need to spruce this place up? | 我们要先给这地方添置什么呢 |
| [03:26] | A ramp. | 一个斜坡 |
| [03:30] | Dusty! You’re four months late on the rent. | 达斯廷 你拖了四个月房租了 |
| [03:33] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [03:34] | I had your rent money | 我有房租的钱 |
| [03:36] | and I was about to put it in that little slot in your door | 我正要放在你门前的箱子里 |
| [03:39] | and this big old cross-eyed monkey came swinging down | 一个巨大的斜眼老猴子荡下来 |
| [03:42] | and it had a sailor hat on. | 它还戴着一顶水手帽 |
| [03:44] | He swept it right out of my hands. | 它夺走了我手里的钱 |
| [03:46] | So, I do not have this month’s rent. | 所以我没有这个月的房租了 |
| [03:49] | Bullshit! | 胡扯 |
| [03:50] | I know it was not the monkey, because I caught the monkey! | 我知道不是猴子干的 因为我抓住了那猴子 |
| [03:55] | You don’t have the rent | 你根本没有租金 |
| [03:56] | because you spend all your money on your stupid cats! | 因为你把你的钱都花在你愚蠢的猫上了 |
| [04:00] | I only buy my cats, the barest of necessities. | 我只给我的猫买最基础的用品 |
| [04:05] | Does that cat have braces? | 那个猫戴了牙套吗 |
| [04:07] | Well, I can’t send Mr. Meowgi | 我总不能让喵吉先生 |
| [04:09] | to cat kindergarten with crooked teeth now, can I? | 顶着一嘴烂牙去猫咪幼儿园吧 |
| [04:12] | Kittens can be cruel. | 小猫咪很残忍的 |
| [04:14] | You get me money in three days | 限你三天内交钱 |
| [04:16] | or I shoot you in your fat fucking fuck-face! | 不然我就把你的肥脸打烂 |
| [04:19] | Fine, I’ll get your money. | 好吧 我会搞到你要的钱 |
| [04:21] | Jeez! It ain’t like I spend that much on my cats. | 天啊 我又没在我的猫上花太多钱 |
| [04:29] | Okay, our mission is to wipe argyle meth off the streets. | 好了 我们的任务是让菱状纹冰毒从街头消失 |
| [04:33] | These are the hot spots. | 这些是人流大的地方 |
| [04:35] | Call off the investigation! I found the kingpin. | 调查中止 我找到了首脑 |
| [04:39] | How does he come up with this shit? | 他怎么想出来这笑话的 |
| [04:42] | I’ve seen funnier prison rapes. | 我见过更搞笑的监狱强奸案 |
| [04:44] | Fitz, are you joining my task force? We could totally use you. | 菲茨 你要加入我的特别小组吗 我们需要你 |
| [04:48] | No! I’m just here for the hilarious prop comedy! | 不 我只是为这位搞笑的喜剧天才来的 |
| [04:50] | Looks like I got a colored fan. | 看来我有一名有色粉丝了 |
| [04:55] | Ooh! He even makes racism funny. | 他把种族歧视都说得很搞笑 |
| [04:57] | Suit yourself. | 随你吧 |
| [04:59] | This task force has some heads to bust. | 这个特别特别小组要出击了 |
| [05:03] | Hey, cat, you gotta fix for this druggie? | 猫猫 你要帮帮我这个吸毒的吗 |
| [05:06] | You know what I mean, daddy-o? You dig? | 你懂我的意思吗 老爹 明白吗 |
| [05:09] | You are under arrest! | 你被捕了 |
| [05:11] | That’ll teach me for not looking slightly further to the left. | 都怪我看不到左边的东西 |
| [05:20] | Freeze! | 不许动 |
| [05:23] | Case… closed! | 结案[关箱子] |
| [05:27] | He said, “Case closed!” | 他说结案 |
| [05:29] | As he closed the case! Fuck Seinfeld! Fuck him! | 然后关上了箱子 去他的宋飞 去他的 |
| [05:35] | Thank you so much for helping me cover my rent | 谢谢你愿意帮我从一趣上卖东西 |
| [05:38] | by selling stuff on a bay, Bullet. | 付我的房租 子弹 |
| [05:40] | It’s eBay. Anyone ever tell you that you pronounce things weird? | 是易趣 没人告诉过你你的发音很诡异吗 |
| [05:43] | Don’t be Roald Dickless now. | 别这么混蛋 |
| [05:46] | I’m looking around for things to sell | 我在看屋子里有什么可卖的 |
| [05:47] | and I’m realizing that all the good stuff in my apartment | 然后我意识到公寓里的好东西 |
| [05:50] | belongs to my cats. | 都是我的猫的 |
| [05:52] | Do you have anything valuable? | 你就没有一件值钱的吗 |
| [05:54] | I never thought I’d say this, | 我从没想过会这么说 |
| [05:56] | but since this is life or death, | 发生了这件攸关生死的事情之后 |
| [05:58] | I could auction off my virginia-ty. | 我可以把维吉尼亚T恤拍卖掉 |
| [06:01] | Oh, hold on! Did you just say | 等等 你是说 |
| [06:02] | you want to auction off your virginity? | 你想把初夜拍卖掉吗 |
| [06:05] | My Virginia tee, yes. | 我的维吉尼亚T恤 对呀 |
| [06:06] | I’ve been waiting a long time to give it to the right person, | 为了把它交给合适的人我已经等了很久了 |
| [06:09] | but at this point, I’m just so desperate, I have no choice. | 但是现在 我实在太绝望了 别无选择 |
| [06:13] | Well, it’s illegal to post it on eBay. | 把它放在易趣上是违法的 |
| [06:15] | – That’s a weird rule. – I know, right? | -这规定真奇怪 -是吧 |
| [06:17] | But I think I can post it on… | 但是我可以发布在 |
| [06:19] | …the dark web. | 暗网上 |
| [06:21] | Okay. What do you want me to put in the description? | 描述内容该怎么写 |
| [06:23] | First thing they should know is that it’s tight. Real tight. | 首先他们应该知道 它很紧 非常紧 |
| [06:26] | Least, I think it is. You want me to send you a picture? | 起码我是这么觉得的 要我给你发张照片吗 |
| [06:29] | No! I mean… | 不要 我是说 |
| [06:31] | – No! – It’s funny. | -不要 -挺有趣的 |
| [06:32] | When I was a kid, my uncle was always trying to pay me for it, | 我小时候 我叔叔总想花钱买它 |
| [06:36] | but he’s so big, I was afraid he’d stretch it out. | 但是他太大了 我怕他给我扯坏了 |
| [06:38] | Yeah… I got to go. | 我先挂了 |
| [06:46] | Hey, Dad, look at all the busts we made. | 老爸 看我们抓的这些人 |
| [06:48] | No, son, do not track dirt in here! | 不 儿子 别把泥带进来 |
| [06:51] | I just spent two hours cleaning all the blood and teeth | 我花了两个小时才把审讯室里面的 |
| [06:53] | out of the interrogation room. | 血跟牙打扫干净 |
| [06:55] | Everything has got to be perfect for that magazine. | 为了上杂志 一切都得是完美的 |
| [06:57] | And Hopson’s balls are outside his pants again. | 霍普森的蛋蛋又从裤子里漏出来了 |
| [07:03] | Yeah, I got to get you out of here. | 我得把你弄出去 |
| [07:05] | Hopson! Great news. | 霍普森 好消息 |
| [07:07] | I just got two tickets | 我刚刚拿到了两张 |
| [07:08] | to the first amusement park for old people. | 第一家老人游乐场的门票 |
| [07:10] | Angela Lansbury Land? | 安吉拉·兰斯伯里乐园 |
| [07:13] | Yeah, that’s it. | 对 就是那 |
| [07:14] | I didn’t know that existed. | 我都不知道它真的存在 |
| [07:16] | Yeah, off to Cabot Cove. Just get in the goddamn truck. | 对 要去卡伯特湾了 赶紧到卡车里去 |
| [07:20] | Well, you must be jealous. | 你肯定很嫉妒 |
| [07:22] | My task force has already busted every street dealer in Paradise. | 我的特别小组已经把天堂镇的毒贩子都抓来了 |
| [07:26] | It’s not too late to join the winning team, big guy. | 现在识时务还不迟 大个子 |
| [07:28] | Kevin, them corner boys are like anal warts. | 凯文 街上的这群人就像肛门疣一样 |
| [07:31] | Sure, you can burn them off with a BiC lighter, | 你当然可以用打火机把他们烧掉 |
| [07:33] | but within a few days, they’ll be back and tough as ever. | 但是用不了几天 他们就会坚硬如初 |
| [07:37] | Fitz, do you have anal warts? | 菲茨 你有肛门疣吗 |
| [07:38] | That’s not important right now, Kevin. | 现在这个不重要 凯文 |
| [07:40] | I’m just saying, it’s too early to book a blimp to Pussyland. | 我想说 现在就对娘炮阵地忠心不二有点早 |
| [07:43] | I think we should… book a blimp to Pussyland | 我觉得我们就应该对娘炮阵地忠心不二 |
| [07:47] | because my task force cleaned up every block in this town. | 因为我的特别小组把镇上每个街区都清理干净了 |
| [07:49] | Those dealers are gone for good. | 这些贩子永远消失了 |
| [07:51] | Oh, yeah? Well, look out the window. | 是吗 看看窗户外面 |
| [07:56] | Hi, car-fucker. | 你好 操车人 |
| [07:57] | You want to buy some argyle meth? | 想买点菱形纹冰毒吗 |
| [07:59] | Dang! At this rate, if I’m going to get to screw my sister, | 照这速度下去 要想上我姐姐 |
| [08:01] | I’ll have to wait till Christmas. | 我得等到圣诞节了 |
| [08:04] | Hey, boss. Now, it ain’t our fault that sales are down. | 老大 成交率低不是我们的过错 |
| [08:08] | Our dealers got busted by a bunch of freak show cops. | 我们的贩子都被一群怪里怪气的警察抓走了 |
| [08:11] | Now, look, I know you’re gonna be reasonable about this. | 你应该会讲点道理吧 |
| [08:19] | No! | 不 |
| [08:20] | That was his tank-tickling hand! | 那是他挠痒痒的巨掌啊 |
| [08:23] | Him and Brendan Fraser were gonna be billionaires. | 他和布兰登·弗雷泽本来都要成亿万富翁了 |
| [08:26] | 不洁行为 关门 | |
| [08:29] | Angela Lansbury Land looks a lot like a remote forest. | 安吉拉·兰斯伯里乐园看上去就像个远郊森林 |
| [08:34] | Hopson, you’re always so damn negative! | 霍普森 你总是这么消极 |
| [08:36] | This is a theme park, and the theme is fun! | 这是个主题公园 主题就是乐趣 |
| [08:39] | Here, try the log ride. | 试试这个木头飞车 |
| [08:41] | Oh, can’t forget the safety restraint. | 可不能忘了安全措施 |
| [08:44] | Have fun! | 玩的开心 |
| [08:46] | Normally when I’m chained to a log in the woods, | 通常我要是被绑在了森林里的木头上 |
| [08:48] | I have an erection. | 我就会勃起 |
| [08:50] | Oh, there it is. | 来了吧 |
| [08:54] | Robbie, you wanted to see me? | 罗比 你想见我 |
| [08:56] | Hey, car-fucker. I got some information | 操车人 我得到了一些 |
| [08:59] | on the argyle meth kingpin. | 关于菱形纹冰毒首领的消息 |
| [09:01] | So the kingpin wasn’t Terry Two Toes? | 所以首领不是双趾特里 |
| [09:03] | I knew it! Who is it? | 我就知道 是谁 |
| [09:05] | We ain’t never seen his face, | 我们从来没见过他的脸 |
| [09:07] | but he does call us on this phone. | 但是他往这部手机上打过电话 |
| [09:09] | Wait for his next call, then bust that son of a bitch. | 等到下一通电话 然后抓住那孙子 |
| [09:12] | How do I know he’ll call? | 他为什么还会打来 |
| [09:13] | Because he’s got a big distribution plan | 因为他有个大的分销计划 |
| [09:15] | to take his entire operation | 在圣诞节之前 |
| [09:17] | to every city in the state by Christmas. | 把他的生意扩展到我们国家的每一个城市 |
| [09:20] | Just don’t tell nobody we gave this phone to you. | 对谁都不要说我把手机给你了 |
| [09:23] | He’ll kill us. | 他会杀了我们的 |
| [09:24] | I don’t understand. Why are you helping me out like this? | 我不懂了 你为什么要帮我们 |
| [09:26] | Because of what that asshole did to my best friend. | 因为那个混蛋对我好兄弟的所作所为 |
| [09:29] | Look at this shit! I tried to cheer him up | 看看这一团糟 我想把他打扮成 |
| [09:31] | by dressing him like Trap Jaw from He-Man. | 希曼里的铁嘴兵让他开心开心 |
| [09:34] | I won’t be cheered up till She-Ra gets here. | 希拉不来我就开心不起来 |
| [09:36] | Give me a minute. | 等我一会 |
| [09:38] | Kevin, you feel like filming some really weird shit for us? | 凯文 想给我们拍点奇奇怪怪的影片吗 |
| [09:41] | I… don’t know how to work those old cameras. | 我 不知道怎么用这个老掉牙的摄影机 |
| [09:45] | I’ll use my phone. | 我用手机就行 |
| [09:49] | Oh! No bids at all? | 没有人出价 |
| [09:50] | You think it’s ’cause you spelled it wrong? | 你觉得是不是因为你拼错了 |
| [09:52] | Okay, I think I know how to get this unholy party started. | 我知道该怎么让这件罪恶的事情开始 |
| [09:55] | Hey, Gina. Just a quick FYI. | 吉娜 提醒你一下 |
| [09:57] | Dusty’s selling his virginity on the dark web. | 达斯廷在暗网上出售他的初夜 |
| [09:59] | Just emailed you the link. | 刚才给你发过链接 |
| [10:00] | Oh, how interesting. | 真有意思 |
| [10:01] | I’ll check my email at my earliest convenience. | 我有空了就马上看电子邮箱 |
| [10:07] | Actually, my laptop’s right here. | 其实我的电脑就在这 |
| [10:10] | Wow! A bid. Five thousand dollars! | 出价了 五千美元 |
| [10:12] | Bullet, you know who Damp For Dusty 69 is? | 子弹 你知道为达斯廷湿润69是谁吗 |
| [10:18] | My guess would be Gina. | 我猜是吉娜 |
| [10:19] | Now, why would Gina want to pay 5,000 bucks for a T-shirt? | 她干吗花5000美元买件T恤 |
| [10:23] | A T-shirt? What… Oh, my God. | 什么T恤 妈呀 |
| [10:25] | We’re auctioning off your virginity, | 是有人花钱拍你的初夜 |
| [10:27] | not your Virginia tee, you idiot! | 不是买维吉尼亚T恤 你个蠢货 |
| [10:29] | Okay, to me, it sounds like you said the same thing twice. | 你说的明明是同一个词 |
| [10:33] | All right, you know what? I’ll make it simple. | 算了 告诉你结果吧 |
| [10:34] | When Gina wins the auction, | 如果吉娜拍成了 |
| [10:36] | this is what’s going to happen to your body. | 她将对你做这些事 |
| [10:45] | Oh my! Oh my goodness! People put stuff up there? | 天哪 妈呀 有人往那里塞东西 |
| [10:49] | In the front butt? | 往屁股里塞 |
| [10:54] | Come on! Ring! Ring! | 拜托 打过来啊 |
| [10:57] | Kevin. | 凯文 |
| [10:59] | Oh! Fitz. | 菲茨 |
| [11:01] | I really need you on my task force now. | 我的特别小组需要你的帮助 |
| [11:03] | I know from a source that the kingpin | 我从线报得知有罪犯团伙 |
| [11:04] | is planning a state-wide argyle meth distribution. | 正计划全州散播菱形纹冰毒 |
| [11:07] | That is a good lead, | 这条线索不错 |
| [11:08] | but you’ll need to dig deeper | 你需要深入了解 |
| [11:10] | to uncover his method of distribution. | 找到他们散播的途径 |
| [11:11] | They’re not just gonna parade right in front of you. | 他们可不会通过游行来散播 |
| [11:13] | You’re looking for a group that can travel from town to town, | 你要锁定穿梭于城镇中 |
| [11:16] | that can sell the product to ladies, | 能将毒品卖给女人 |
| [11:18] | gentlemen and children of all ages. | 男人 孩子 不限年龄 |
| [11:20] | – Fitz– – Stay focused. | -菲茨 -别打岔 |
| [11:21] | 无所畏惧 费迪南德 | |
| [11:21] | These will be fearless people and bloodthirsty animals. | 这些人无所畏惧如嗜血的野兽 |
| [11:24] | Fitz! Just turn around for a second. | 菲茨 你回头看一眼 |
| [11:27] | No, sir. Not until I have said what I have to say. | 不行 等我把话说完 |
| [11:30] | There. I am done. | 行了 我说完了 |
| [11:31] | Now, what is so urgent that you needed me to turn around? | 你急着让我回头看什么 |
| [11:37] | Kevin, I’m going to need a few days to think about this, | 凯文 给我几天时间考虑一下 |
| [11:40] | but I will be on your task force. | 但我会加入你的特别小组 |
| [11:44] | All right, task force. This is our new target. | 组员们 这是我们的新目标 |
| [11:46] | 欢乐足迹 马戏团 百分百零反式脂肪 | |
| [11:48] | Get out! No trans fats in the popcorn? Please! | 扯淡 爆米花无反式脂肪 谁信 |
| [11:52] | Seems too good to be true. | 好到难以相信 |
| [11:53] | I don’t have any trans fats either. | 我也没有反式脂肪 |
| [11:56] | But I do have a fat trans. | 但我有个胖变性人 |
| [12:05] | I don’t get it. | 笑点在哪 |
| [12:06] | Fitz, this is what I was trying to tell you. | 菲茨 我说的就是这个 |
| [12:08] | This circus hits every major town in the state. | 这个马戏团穿梭于主要城镇 |
| [12:11] | I’ll bet the kingpin plans | 我打赌犯罪团伙 |
| [12:12] | to use them to distribute his argyle meth. | 打算利用马戏团来贩卖散播毒品 |
| [12:15] | We need to investigate. | 需要好好调查一番 |
| [12:16] | Oh, hell, no! | 想得美 |
| [12:17] | Circus folks are way too dangerous, especially the clowns. | 马戏团太危险了 特别是小丑 |
| [12:22] | – The clowns? – Where? | -小丑 -在哪 |
| [12:25] | Fitz, you’re scared of clowns? | 菲茨 你居然怕小丑 |
| [12:27] | What happened to me back on Cherry Street all those years ago. | 曾经在樱桃街发生的事 |
| [12:30] | Scarred me for the rest of my life. | 让我永生难忘 |
| [12:40] | Hey, kid. You wanna see It: The Uncut Version? | 小子 想不想看小丑回魂未删减版 |
| [12:47] | Hola, amigos! | 朋友们好啊 |
| [12:48] | El camino Palo Loco! | 此路不通 |
| [12:50] | Arriba, arriba! | 来啊 来啊 |
| [12:53] | Aw, come on, nothing? | 拜托 没反应 |
| [12:55] | You are the guys from that Senor Living magazine, right? | 你们是来自《美好生活》杂志的记者吧 |
| [12:59] | It’s Senior Living, as in for the elderly. | 是《老年生活》杂志 专访老年人 |
| [13:02] | I’m sorry, did you think we were | 你以为我们是 |
| [13:03] | from a Mexican magazine called Senor Living? | 西班牙的那个《美好生活》杂志 |
| [13:07] | No. | 没有啊 |
| [13:09] | No, we’re here to do a story on Officer Hopson, | 我们打算写一篇关于霍普森警官的文章 |
| [13:12] | the oldest active-duty cop in America, | 除汤姆·塞立克以外 |
| [13:14] | outside of Tom Selleck on Blue Bloods. | 美国警界最老的在职警官 |
| [13:15] | We want to show how wonderful you and Paradise PD | 我们想展示你和天堂镇警局是如何 |
| [13:17] | treat a senior citizen like him. | 善待像他这样的老年市民 |
| [13:19] | Can we speak to him? | 能找他来谈谈吗 |
| [13:20] | I… I got to take a shit. | 我得去拉泡屎 |
| [13:27] | Shit! | 该死 |
| [13:29] | Take that! $7,000. | 接招 7000美元 |
| [13:32] | You can’t bid on your own auction, Dusty! | 达斯廷 你不能参与自己的竞拍 |
| [13:34] | I’m not! There happen to be | 我没有 凑巧 |
| [13:35] | several outside parties bidding on it. | 有几个局外人参与竞拍而已 |
| [13:37] | I don’t control who wants my biscuit. | 垂涎我的人多了去了 |
| [13:40] | There are three other bidders and their names are | 仅有另外三名竞拍者 名字是 |
| [13:42] | Kittens 4ever, Pork Rinds 4ever and… | 永远爱猫 大爱炸猪皮 |
| [13:46] | Joe Biden. Come on, Dusty, seriously? Joe Biden? | 乔·拜登 得了吧达斯廷 扯犊子呢 |
| [13:48] | I don’t know what you’re talking about. | 不懂你在说什么 |
| [13:50] | Okay, that’s it. I’m sending a complaint. | 够了 我要举报你 |
| [13:53] | 警告 账户封锁 | |
| [13:53] | Oh, what the heck? Seriously? | 去你妈的 来真的 |
| [13:56] | I’m gonna get you! | 你是我的 |
| [13:58] | I’m gonna get your fat ass! | 我要草烂你的大屁股 |
| [13:59] | 警告 账户封锁 | |
| [13:59] | Oh, man! | 搞什么啊 |
| [14:02] | Head on a swivel, guys. | 保持警惕伙计们 |
| [14:03] | See, Fitz? I told you there wouldn’t be any clowns at the circus. | 看吧 我就说马戏团没有小丑的 |
| [14:06] | They’re here somewhere. | 他们就在附近 |
| [14:07] | I can smell their parents’ disappointment. | 我都感受到他们父母的怨气了 |
| [14:10] | Hey! What are you doing creeping around back here? | 你们几个在后台鬼鬼祟祟的干吗 |
| [14:12] | This area’s for circus folk only. | 非马戏团人员不得入内 |
| [14:15] | Actually, we are circus folk. | 我们就是马戏团人员 |
| [14:17] | Oh, yeah? What do you call yourselves? | 真的 你们的艺名是什么 |
| [14:19] | – The, uh, police. – The police? | -警察 -警察 |
| [14:22] | Es. The Police-es. | 斯 波利塞斯 |
| [14:25] | The Police-es? You’re the famous Police-es… | 波利塞斯 你们是著名的波利塞斯 |
| [14:29] | who founded the legendary Circo di Palermo in 1853? | 1853年创立迪巴勒莫马戏团的传奇 |
| [14:33] | We sure did that thing you said. | 你说的非常正确 |
| [14:35] | Of course! I’ll feature you in our next show. | 太好了 我去给你们安排表演 |
| [14:37] | And don’t worry. I’ll give you the most difficult stunts we have. | 放心 最难的特技表演留给你们 |
| [14:42] | Actually, I don’t do the stunts. I’m, like their manager. | 我是他们的经纪人 不用表演 |
| [14:45] | And I… | 而我 |
| [14:47] | have anal warts. | 得了肛门疣 |
| [14:49] | Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present, | 女士们先生们 热烈欢迎 |
| [14:53] | straight from Sicily, | 西西里岛远道而来的 |
| [14:54] | the one and only Police-es! | 唯一的波利塞斯 |
| [15:04] | Hey, tiger, I’m gonna tame you | 你好啊 老虎 我要用这个 |
| [15:06] | with this Cool Whip! | 劲爆奶油[冷酷的鞭子]来驯化你 |
| [15:14] | Circus ain’t a circus without some good old-fashioned tiger rape. | 马戏团如果没有点好的老式虎奸的话就不算马戏团 |
| [15:21] | Bro! Stick it out your own ass! | 兄弟 插你自己 |
| [15:24] | Get your greasy carny hands off me. | 把你油兮兮的马戏团手拿开 |
| [15:26] | Oh, shit. | 该死 |
| [15:33] | Dang it all to heck, Bullet! | 他奶奶个腿的 子弹 |
| [15:34] | Gina’s gonna win my Virginia tee, or whatever you call it, | 吉娜会拍到我的弗吉尼亚T恤 或随你怎么叫 |
| [15:37] | and that stupid old dark web blocked all my accounts. | 这个二货破黑网屏蔽了我的账户 |
| [15:40] | I should go down there and give them a piece of my mind. | 我应该去那理论理论 |
| [15:42] | You fucking idiot! It’s a dark web. | 你个蠢货 那是黑网 |
| [15:44] | It’s a top-secret forum for criminals, hackers and perverts, | 是罪犯 黑客 变态和各种精神失常的人的 |
| [15:47] | all kinds of sickos. You can’t just go in there. | 绝密论坛 你不能就那么走进去 |
| [15:49] | It doesn’t have a headquarters. | 它是没有总部的 |
| [15:53] | – I’ll be damned! – Welcome to the dark web. | -我他喵的 -欢迎来到黑网 |
| [15:56] | Hi. I wanna file a complaint. | 你好 我想投诉 |
| [15:58] | And we at the dark web want to listen, | 我们黑网愿意聆听 |
| [16:00] | so that we can provide a superior user experience. | 这样我们就能提供更好的用户体验 |
| [16:02] | Hi. Dark Zuckerberg, CEO. | 你好 我是首席执行官黑暗·扎克伯格 |
| [16:04] | Let me give you fellas a little tour. | 我带你们转转吧 |
| [16:05] | We’re very proud of this. That’s our sex trade wing. | 我们特别以此为傲 那是我们的性爱交易房 |
| [16:08] | Dirty bomb annex, endangered animals… | 脏弹附件 濒危动物 |
| [16:11] | Oh, there’s Jimmy. | 那是吉米 |
| [16:11] | He works for our murder for hire department. | 他是我们雇佣杀人部门的 |
| [16:13] | Hi, Jimmy. | 你好 吉米 |
| [16:14] | And here’s our chill-out lounge. We got bowls of MDMA, | 这里是我们的放松休息厅 我们有摇头丸 |
| [16:17] | Romanian hookers, and discount babies | 罗马尼亚妓女 还有打折宝宝 |
| [16:19] | if you fellas are in the market. | 如果你们要卖的话 |
| [16:25] | I mean, it’s a lovely campus, Mr. Suckaturd, | 这是个有爱的地方 撒克特德先生 |
| [16:28] | but it don’t change the fact | 但这改变不了 |
| [16:29] | that I need you to shut down my virginity auction. | 我需要你关掉我的初夜拍卖 |
| [16:32] | Oh, I wish I could help, Dusty. | 我希望我能帮到你 达斯廷 |
| [16:34] | But if you’d read our terms of service, | 但如果你读了我们的服务条款 |
| [16:36] | you’d know that any cancellation | 你就知道任何撤销 |
| [16:37] | would result in us canceling you. | 都会导致我们注销你 |
| [16:40] | – I hate the dark web! – Really? | -我讨厌黑网 -真的吗 |
| [16:42] | ‘Cause I just bought a romanian wife | 因为我刚买了一个罗马尼亚老婆 |
| [16:44] | and plutonium! How rad is that? | 和钚 多棒啊[多大辐射] |
| [16:47] | Oh, God, why do I smell colors? | 天 为什么我问到了绿色 |
| [16:51] | Crap! Hopson! | 惨了 霍普森 |
| [16:54] | Hopson! | 霍普森 |
| [16:56] | He must be in the other side already. | 他肯定已经到另一边了 |
| [16:58] | Hopson, I– | 霍普森 我… |
| [16:59] | Ooh! Smells like he’s in there. | 闻起来像是他在那 |
| [17:01] | I’m coming in, Hopson. Grab my hand! | 我来了 霍普森 抓住我的手 |
| [17:11] | They’ve been moving crates into that tent all night. | 他们一整晚都在往帐篷里搬条板箱 |
| [17:14] | Lady Gertrude is the argyle meth kingpin’s distributor. | 格特鲁德女士就是菱形纹冰毒大头目的分销商 |
| [17:17] | If I can just get into that tent, I can prove it. | 如果我能进去 我就能证明 |
| [17:19] | You guys get to the show, so they don’t get suspicious. | 你们去表演 这样他们就不会怀疑了 |
| [17:21] | They don’t wanna go. They’re scared. | 他们不想走 他们很害怕 |
| [17:23] | They may not survive another show. | 他们可能活不过另一场表演了 |
| [17:25] | Come on, fellas. Everybody dies. | 好了 伙计们 每个人都会死的 |
| [17:27] | That’s how God lets us know he hates us. | 上帝就是这样让我们知道他恨我们的 |
| [17:32] | You heard him, guys. Let’s go! | 你们听到他说的了 伙计们 走 |
| [17:36] | Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
| [17:37] | Get away from me, clown! | 离我远点 小丑 |
| [17:40] | Fitz, that’s not a clown. That’s Kathy Griffin. | 菲茨 那不是小丑 是凯西·格里芬 |
| [17:42] | Yeah, I know. | 我知道 |
| [17:45] | Crap! We’re on. | 该死 轮到我们了 |
| [17:48] | Time to find the meth. | 是时候去找到冰毒了 |
| [17:53] | – What are you doing? – Look at this crowd! | -你在干什么 -看下面的人 |
| [17:55] | I’m gonna put a little Sriracha on this one. | 我要在这个上放点辣椒酱 |
| [17:57] | No, no Sriracha, not now. | 不 不要辣椒酱 现在不要 |
| [18:00] | Not now! | 现在不要 |
| [18:01] | I regret nothing. | 我不后悔 |
| [18:07] | Oh, my God! It’s a miracle! I’m cured! | 我的天 奇迹发生了 我能站起来了 |
| [18:14] | I’m putting my life at stake! | 我冒着生命危险 |
| [18:19] | No! | 不 |
| [18:24] | Well, at least I showed some guts. | 至少我展现出了勇气[肠子] |
| [18:27] | He’s still got it. | 他还是很有一套 |
| [18:29] | Talk about heart-stopping action, huh? | 说到惊心动魄[心跳停止]的举动 |
| [18:40] | Hey, look, it’s me, Hopson. | 是我 霍普森 |
| [18:43] | I’m an old racist pervert. | 一个种族歧视的老混蛋 |
| [18:45] | Desi Arnaz played Babalu on my ass. | 德西·阿纳兹在我的屁股上玩巴巴鲁 |
| [18:48] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [18:49] | That’s the son of a bitch who chained me to a log | 他就是把我铐到木头上 |
| [18:52] | and left me for dead. | 让我自生自灭的狗娘养的 |
| [18:54] | Oh, there you are, Hopsy, you old jokester, you! | 你在这啊 霍普森 你个老笑话大王 |
| [18:57] | Tell these nice people how much you love it here. | 你快告诉这些好人你有多爱这里 |
| [19:00] | Love it, my ass! You know what he’s done to me? | 爱你个鬼 你们知道他对我做了什么吗 |
| [19:03] | He left me glued to the ceiling, | 他把我粘到天花板上 |
| [19:04] | tricked me into thinking I was a ghost, | 跟我恶作剧 让我觉得我是鬼 |
| [19:07] | sent me to a nursing home that grew scallops on my neck. | 送我到在我的脖子上种扇贝的养老院 |
| [19:10] | Now, there’s a perfectly logical explanation for all this. | 这些是有完全符合逻辑的解释的 |
| [19:14] | I know. He obviously has some severe dementia. | 我知道 他显然有严重的痴呆 |
| [19:16] | They come up with some wild tales. | 他们想了一些狂野的故事 |
| [19:18] | Come on, scallops on the neck? | 拜托 脖子上的扇贝 |
| [19:20] | What? All ’em stories is true. | 怎么了 所有的故事都是真的 |
| [19:22] | He’s still got a couple scallops on his neck | 他脖子上还有些扇贝 |
| [19:25] | if y’all are hungry. | 如果你饿了的话 |
| [19:26] | – Dusty! – Dear God! Don’t you worry, Mr. Hopson. | -达斯廷 -天啊 别担心 霍普森先生 |
| [19:28] | Senior Living will shine a light on this disgusting elder abuse! | 《老年生活》杂志会曝光这恶心的虐待老人行为 |
| [19:31] | The world will see just how horrible Paradise PD really is. | 全世界都会看到天堂镇警局是有多么糟糕 |
| [19:36] | I think that went pretty well. | 我想进展得挺好 |
| [19:42] | Please don’t put that on the cover of Senior Living. | 求你别把那放到《老年生活》杂志的封面上 |
| [19:44] | Anything but that! | 除了那什么都行 |
| [19:45] | Anything? | 什么都行 |
| [19:50] | You gotta be fucking kidding me! | 这他妈是在逗我 |
| [19:52] | This is a disaster. | 这简直是灾难 |
| [19:53] | I think it’s an honor. | 我觉得很荣幸 |
| [19:55] | This has been my favorite magazine since I was a child. | 从我小时候开始这就是我最喜欢的杂志 |
| [20:02] | Sixty seconds left, Dusty. Don’t worry. I’ll be gentle. | 还有60秒 达斯廷 别担心 我会温柔点的 |
| [20:06] | Heavens to Betsy! | 我的天呐 |
| [20:08] | Oh, why did we ever get started with that old dark web? | 我们为什么要用黑网 |
| [20:11] | You’re telling me! | 你还有脸说 |
| [20:14] | I don’t know what you’re saying, all right? | 我不知道你在说什么 好吗 |
| [20:16] | I want a divorce. | 我要离婚 |
| [20:17] | Divor-ciana! Davor-ciana! Oh, fuck off! | 离婚 离婚 快滚开 |
| [20:21] | Come on, panda. Don’t eat the plutonium! | 过来 熊猫 别把钚吃了 |
| [20:28] | Okay, well… that worked out. | 好吧 起作用了 |
| [20:31] | Time’s up, Dusty. | 时间到了 达斯廷 |
| [20:32] | 5 4 3 In five, four, three– | |
| [20:34] | Wait a minute! A last-second bid just came in! | 等等 最后一秒又有人出价 |
| [20:37] | – From who? – User name… | -谁 -用户名是 |
| [20:39] | R s x h R-s-x-h | |
| [20:41] | O n g d k O-n-g-d-k | |
| [20:42] | – L-G-N-3. – Who typed that, a cat? | -L G N 3 -谁打的 猫吗 |
| [20:52] | Kevin! | 凯文 |
| [20:53] | The entire task force, they’re all dead! | 整个特别小组 他们都死了 |
| [20:56] | What? Oh, my God! | 什么 我的天 |
| [20:58] | Someone must’ve sabotaged their acts. | 一定是有人破坏了他们的行动 |
| [21:00] | Or that’s what happens when untrained cripples | 或者说没经过训练的瘸子耍杂耍 |
| [21:02] | do dangerous circus shit. | 就会发生这种事 |
| [21:04] | You’re responsible for the deaths of Prop Cop | 你要对道具警察还有其他三个 |
| [21:06] | and the other three whose names I can’t recall. | 我不记得名字的警察的死负责 |
| [21:08] | Do you want them to have died for nothing? | 你想让他们死得毫无意义吗 |
| [21:10] | Let’s solve this case for them. | 咱们替他们了断了吧 |
| [21:12] | Man, you have lost it. I’m out. | 兄弟 你已经输了 我退出 |
| [21:15] | Fine. Go! | 行啊 走吧 |
| [21:16] | I guess I’m the task force now. | 现在我就是特别小组了 |
| [21:19] | Mr. Police-es? | 波利塞斯先生 |
| [21:20] | What a pleasant surprise. | 真是惊喜呀 |
| [21:22] | Lady Gertrude. I was just… | 格特鲁德女士 我刚刚 |
| [21:24] | sneaking into my secret tent? You naughty thing! | 偷偷溜进我的秘密帐篷 你个小淘气 |
| [21:28] | I know what you’re after. You wanna hike the happy trail. | 我知道你想干什么 你想在快乐小径上旅行 |
| [21:32] | No! I– Wait. | 不 我 等等 |
| [21:33] | What’s the happy trail? | 什么是快乐小径 |
| [21:35] | You thought I was packing only one magnificent beard? | 你以为我只有一副神奇的大胡子吗 |
| [21:42] | Wow! It’s mesmerizing. | 真是让人陶醉 |
| [21:45] | It looks like Gandalf the Grey eating a Gordita Supreme. | 就像是甘道夫在吃超级性感的小胖妞 |
| [21:48] | Isn’t that why you’re here? To surf the salty beard? | 你不是为了这个来的吗 在咸咸的胡须上畅游 |
| [21:52] | Or is there some other reason you’ve been sneaking around? | 还是你为了其他原因在这偷偷摸摸的 |
| [21:55] | No. I’m here to surf the beard. | 不 我是来咸咸的胡须上畅游的 |
| [21:58] | So… let me just… | 那我 我就 |
| [22:00] | go over and… surf that beard. | 舍身 在胡须里畅游了 |
| [22:07] | I’m sorry. I can’t. | 对不起 我做不到 |
| [22:08] | It looks like Albert Einstein fell into a table saw. | 看着就像阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦掉进台锯里了 |
| [22:11] | So you were lying to me! | 所以你刚刚在撒谎 |
| [22:13] | Thought you were clever. Thought you’d come in here | 还以为你挺聪明的呢 还以为你会进来 |
| [22:15] | and bring down our little operation. | 把这件事做完 |
| [22:17] | Well, you thought wrong. | 你想错了 |
| [22:19] | Seriously, it’s like someone put a Phil Spector wig | 真的 就像是有人把菲尔·斯佩克特的假发 |
| [22:21] | on a half-eaten chicken pot pie. | 戴在了吃了一半的鸡肉派上 |
| [22:23] | – Shut up! – Look, lady, | -闭嘴 -女士 |
| [22:25] | my partner is right outside. | 我的搭档就在外面 |
| [22:27] | Your partner can’t help you now. | 你的搭档现在帮不了你 |
| [22:31] | Where is that music coming from? | 这音乐是从哪发出来的 |
| [22:34] | Oh, it’s in my head. | 在我的脑子里 |
| [22:40] | No! | 不 |
| [22:43] | Don’t put me in your tiny car! Anything but that! | 别把我放在你的小车里 除了这个什么都行 |
| [22:47] | You better pull the trigger, | 你最好扣下扳机 |
| [22:48] | because as long as I’m alive, | 因为 我活的越长 |
| [22:50] | I’ll never rest until I stop you | 我就永远不会停止 |
| [22:51] | from distributing the argyle meth inside those crates. | 阻止你把菱形纹冰毒装到这些箱子里 |
| [22:54] | Argyle meth? | 菱形纹冰毒 |
| [22:56] | It’s trans fats! | 是反式脂肪 |
| [22:58] | Wait. So you’re not from the health department | 等等 也就是说你不是卫生部的人 |
| [23:00] | to bust us for using trans fats, | 因为我们使用反式脂肪来逮捕我们 |
| [23:01] | even though we label our popcorn 100% trans-fat-free? | 即使我们的爆米花都标注的百分百无反式脂肪 |
| [23:05] | No. I’m a cop, | 不 我是个警察 |
| [23:06] | here to shut down a drug distribution ring. | 来这阻止毒品分销的 |
| [23:09] | You were gonna shoot me over trans fats? | 你因为反式脂肪就要开枪打我 |
| [23:11] | What? It was either that or get a $100 fine. | 怎么了 不这么做就要交100美金罚款 |
| [23:14] | I’m on Social Security. | 我有社保 |
| [23:16] | And to think all this got your partner murdered by clowns. | 你的伙伴可能就因为这个被小丑杀了 |
| [23:19] | Well, everybody dies. That’s how God lets us know he hates us. | 人都终有一死 上帝用这种方式表达他恨我们 |
| [23:23] | Fitz! | 菲茨 |
| [23:27] | Hi, Sis, got you some flowers. | 姐姐 给你带了花 |
| [23:31] | Looks like ZZ Top gnawing on a beef and cheddar. | 就像是ZZ托普在啃牛排和切达干酪 |
| [23:35] | Just like Mama’s. | 和妈妈的一样 |
| [23:37] | Hang on, Fitz, I’m coming. | 挺住 菲茨 我来了 |
| [23:42] | How many of you fit in this thing? | 这东西能装下多少人 |
| [23:44] | Fitz… I need an ambulance. | 菲茨 我需要救护车 |
| [23:48] | Not a clown ambulance! | 不是小丑救护车 |
| [23:55] | Ooh! Hooray, Mr. Meowgi. | 万岁 猫咪先生 |
| [23:57] | You saved my butt by walking over that keyboard | 你在键盘上走走就救了我一命 |
| [23:59] | and accidentally winning my auction. | 还意外的中了标 |
| [24:02] | A cat buying a man’s virginity. | 一只猫买下了一个男人的初夜 |
| [24:04] | I mean, what are you gonna do with it? | 你能拿我怎么办 |
| [24:11] | Oh, fart-knocker! All right, make it quick. | 后入爱好者 行吧 速战速决 |
| [24:14] | And you can’t watch, Joe Biden. | 你不能旁观 乔·拜登 |
| [24:17] | Aw, man! | 不是吧 |
| [24:20] | I’m sorry, Fitz. I should’ve listened to you. | 对不起 菲茨 我应该听你的 |
| [24:22] | I got three good cops and a dancer killed. | 我让三个好警察还有一个舞者被杀害了 |
| [24:25] | I’ve turned you into a vegetable. | 让你变成了植物人 |
| [24:27] | All over what? Trans fats? | 为了什么 反式脂肪 |
| [24:29] | Oh, the poor bastard. | 可怜的东西 |
| [24:31] | You were right all along, Dad. | 你一直都是对的 爸爸 |
| [24:33] | I’m not cut out to be a cop. | 我不是做警察的料 |
| [24:34] | What, because a few people died? | 什么 就因为死了几个人 |
| [24:36] | That’s all part of the job. | 那就是工作的一部分 |
| [24:38] | I ran over a guy on the way here. | 在这的马路上我还碾了人呢 |
| [24:39] | – Son, you are a good cop. – I don’t wanna hear it. | -儿子 你是个好警察 -我不想听 |
| [24:42] | I quit. | 我不干了 |
| [24:44] | Kevin, you… | 凯文 你 |
| [24:45] | realize that you can’t just throw a gun in a garbage can? | 知道你不能随便把枪扔在垃圾桶里吧 |
| [24:48] | See, perfect example. | 看见了吧 完美的例子 |
| [24:50] | I don’t know shit about being a cop. | 我对当警察一窍不通 |
| [24:51] | Well, that’s more common sense than anything. | 和别的相比更像是常识 |
| [24:54] | – Just leave it. – Okay. | -别管了 -好吧 |
| [24:56] | I’ll give you some time alone with Fitz. | 给你点时间和菲茨单独相处 |
| [24:59] | I wanted to take you down so bad, | 我那么想扳倒你 |
| [25:01] | but I’m done trying to be the hero. | 但是我受够了逞英雄 |
| [25:03] | At least now I won’t be responsible for getting anyone else hurt. | 现在我不用因为有人受伤而负责了 |
| [25:09] | Starting now. | 从现在开始 |