| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:12] | Santa, can you tell my dad to come home for Christmas? | 圣诞老人 你能要我爸爸回家过圣诞吗 |
| [00:15] | Can you tell your mom to stop blowing | 你能要你妈妈别给 |
| [00:17] | the line cook at the waffle house? | 华夫饼屋的厨子口了吗 |
| [00:18] | Now, stop bothering Daddy at work. | 别打扰爸爸工作了 |
| [00:20] | Okay, who’s next? | 下一位是谁 |
| [00:22] | Merry Christmas, Santy Claus! | 圣诞快乐 圣诞老人 |
| [00:24] | I know you ain’t the real Santy, | 我知道你不是真正的圣诞老人 |
| [00:26] | but you report to the real Santy! | 但是你会向真正的圣诞老人报告 |
| [00:28] | What do you want for Christmas? | 你圣诞节想要什么 |
| [00:30] | For the love of fuck, tell me lap band surgery. | 看在上帝的分上 告诉我要做束胃手术吧 |
| [00:33] | No! Ever since I was a child, I only wanted one thing. | 不 我从小就想要一样东西 |
| [00:36] | An electric blue, old gauge Chuggy Chuggy, Chattanooga Choo Choo, | 一辆蓝色电力老式咔嚓咔嚓小火车 |
| [00:40] | but he’s never brought me my train. | 但他从来没送过我火车 |
| [00:42] | I’m good every year. | 我每年都很乖 |
| [00:43] | I never cuss and I never touch my privates, | 我从来不骂人 也不碰我的小丁丁 |
| [00:46] | not even to make water! | 尿尿时都不碰 |
| [00:47] | So why don’t Santa ever visit? | 圣诞老人为什么从来不来看我 |
| [00:49] | Don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [00:51] | Losing consciousness. | 快失去意识了 |
| [00:53] | Well, I ain’t movin’ till I get me some gosh-darn | 如果你不给我满意的回答 |
| [00:55] | fart-flippin’ answers. | 我就不走了 |
| [00:56] | I don’t know. Maybe this town needs more Christmas spirit? | 不知道 也许这小镇需要更多圣诞气氛 |
| [01:00] | Oh, that’s it! | 就是这个 |
| [01:01] | I’m gonna bring so much Christmas spirit to this town | 我要让这个小镇充满圣诞气氛 |
| [01:04] | that Santa will surely bring me my train! | 这样圣诞老人肯定会送我火车了 |
| [01:09] | Excuse me. My little girl is waiting. | 不好意思 我的小女儿在等着呢 |
| [01:11] | – Sorry, ma’am. – Oh, thank God. | -抱歉 女士 -谢天谢地 |
| [01:14] | Oh, what?! | 什么 |
| [01:17] | Santa, I want a pony. My last one hung itself. | 圣诞老人 我要一匹小马 上一匹上吊自杀了 |
| [01:37] | Fitz, I can’t believe | 菲茨 真不敢相信 |
| [01:38] | that a Paradise cop is the argyle meth Kingpin. | 菱状纹冰毒的头目是天堂镇警察 |
| [01:40] | I can’t trust anyone. | 我无法信任任何人 |
| [01:41] | Thanks for letting me set up my crime lab here. | 谢谢你让我把破案实验室设在这里 |
| [01:43] | Now, where are those thumbtacks? | 好了 图钉都放哪里了 |
| [01:48] | Thanks, Fitz. | 谢了 菲茨 |
| [01:50] | It could be any of them. | 可能是他们中的任何人 |
| [01:51] | Well, I’m 90% certain that it’s not me. | 我有九成把握不是我 |
| [01:55] | And you can’t run an empire if you’re half-dead | 如果你都半死了得通过导管排尿 |
| [01:57] | and pissing through a tube. | 肯定也无法运营犯罪帝国 |
| [01:58] | Unless you’re Rupert Murdoch. I better get back to work. | 除非你是鲁伯特·默多克 我得继续干活了 |
| [02:02] | Why isn’t this printer working? Oh, it’s unplugged. | 为什么这个打印机没用 没插插头 |
| [02:05] | I’ll just borrow this plug for a second. | 这个插头借一下吧 |
| [02:16] | Oh, man. My iPod Touch is dead. | 天啊 我的iTouch没电了 |
| [02:27] | 通缉 性侵野餐桌 | |
| [02:32] | Dusty! Why the hell does my police station | 达斯庭 为什么我的警察局 |
| [02:34] | look like Oriental Trading Company took a shit in here? | 看上去像是东方贸易公司在这拉了一泡屎 |
| [02:37] | Calm down, Chief. | 淡定点 局长 |
| [02:38] | A little Christmas spirit ain’t never hurt nobody. | 一点点圣诞气氛没什么坏处 |
| [02:44] | Last time I felt a surge like that | 上一次我感到这种刺激感 |
| [02:47] | was when Nikola Tesla gave me the Shocker. | 是在尼古拉·特斯拉给我充电 |
| [02:50] | Two in the B hole, one in the pee hole. | 屁股差两根 尿洞插一根 |
| [02:53] | What in the hell is all this commotion, | 一大清早的 |
| [02:55] | so early in the goddamn morning? | 吵吵闹闹干什么呢 |
| [02:57] | Bullet, it’s 3 P.M. | 子弹 已经下午三点了 |
| [02:58] | Oh shit, I almost missed breakfast. | 该死 差点错过了早餐 |
| [03:07] | I’m raising Christmas spirit | 我要带来圣诞气氛 |
| [03:09] | so Santy will finally bring me my Chuggy Chuggy Choo Choo. | 这样圣诞老人会送我咔嚓咔嚓小火车 |
| [03:12] | You ever consider that maybe your parents just told you | 你有没有想过你父母告诉你 |
| [03:15] | Santa didn’t bring you that train | 圣诞老人没有给你火车 |
| [03:16] | because they’re poor white trash scumbags? | 只是因为他们是白人穷鬼 |
| [03:18] | If my parents are so poor, | 如果我父母那么穷 |
| [03:20] | then how come every year they can afford to give me | 他们为什么每年都有钱给我买 |
| [03:22] | these fun rubber finger puppets, hmm? | 这些有意思的手指橡胶玩偶 |
| [03:25] | Hello, Bullet. | 你好 子弹 |
| [03:26] | Dusty, all I want for Christmas | 达斯廷 我圣诞节 |
| [03:28] | is a kiss on the lips under the mistletoe. | 只想要槲寄生下的一个吻 |
| [03:30] | Imma tell you what. | 我告诉你 |
| [03:31] | You help me get this town in the Christmas spirit, | 你帮我让这个小镇充满圣诞气氛 |
| [03:34] | I’ll tear up your restraining order and give you that smoochie. | 我就撕掉你的束缚带让你得偿所愿 |
| [03:37] | Yes! | 太棒了 |
| [03:37] | Just want to make sure my workplace harassment attorney heard that. | 想让我的工作骚扰律师能听到这句话 |
| [03:40] | I did. And oral contracts are binding in court. | 我听到了 口头合约在法庭上有效 |
| [03:43] | Hansy Grabavitz Esquire, from the law offices of Goosem and Gropem. | 汉西·格拉维茨先生 古斯恩和格洛彭联合律所 |
| [03:50] | Oh, god damn it, Dusty, you fluffy fat fuck! | 该死 达斯廷 你这个胖子 |
| [03:52] | Oh, calm down, Bullet! | 冷静点 子弹 |
| [03:53] | It’s just a doghouse. | 那只是个狗窝 |
| [03:55] | My girlfriend was still in there | 我女朋友在里面呢 |
| [03:56] | and she just told me she was pregnant, so I’m feeling… | 她刚告诉我她怀孕了 我感觉… |
| [03:59] | kinda off the hook, but I’m still pissed about the doghouse. | 如释重负 但还是很气狗窝被毁了 |
| [04:01] | I’m gonna tell that man-baby there is no Santa. | 我要告诉那个巨婴根本没有圣诞老人 |
| [04:03] | You will not! That would crush Dusty! | 不行 那会摧毁达斯廷的 |
| [04:06] | Sorry to use that word with the recent death of your girlfriend. | 对不起在你女朋友刚死时说这个词 |
| [04:08] | Nah, I’ve moved on. | 没事 我向前看了 |
| [04:11] | Randall, these last few weeks with you have been perfect. | 兰德尔 过去几个礼拜你的表现真是太好了 |
| [04:14] | Just hope our idiot son doesn’t screw it up | 我只希望我们的蠢儿子不会像以前一样 |
| [04:16] | like he screws up everything. | 毁了这一切 |
| [04:18] | In fact, I think I’m going to yell at him preemptively. | 我觉得我还是提前先吼了他吧 |
| [04:20] | First, how about you give me a little tongue lashing? | 首先 不如你先给我来点口舌服务 |
| [04:24] | Oh, Karen, I did that for two hours last night. | 凯伦 我昨晚给你服务了两个小时 |
| [04:27] | I was talking like Michael Strahan all morning. | 我一早上讲话都跟迈克尔·斯特拉罕似的 |
| [04:29] | – Uh, don’t you think it’s my turn? – Okay, fine. | -你不觉得轮到我了吗 -好吧 |
| [04:32] | Hey, could you pretend to play with my balls? | 你能不能假装玩弄我的蛋蛋 |
| [04:34] | You know, like that mime we saw juggling. | 就像我们看到那个在模仿的喜剧演员 |
| [04:36] | So do you want an actual blowjob or a mime blowjob? | 那你要真正的口还是模仿的口 |
| [04:39] | Either one requires less talking. | 不管哪种都不用废话这么久 |
| [04:41] | – Oops. Got a meeting. – That’s cool. I’ve finished. | -要开会 -没事 我完事了 |
| [04:45] | Hi, Mom. | 妈妈 |
| [04:47] | That’s a weird-tasting lip gloss. Is it asparagus? | 口感真奇怪 是芦笋吗 |
| [04:50] | Kevin, what do you want? | 凯文 你想干什么 |
| [04:52] | Brace yourself, Dad, | 随你怎么说 爸爸 |
| [04:53] | but I finally found the identity of the argyle meth Kingpin. | 但我终于查清楚了菱状纹冰毒的头目 |
| [04:56] | It’s a Paradise PD cop! | 是一名天堂镇警察 |
| [04:57] | Kevin, there is no way it’s one of my cops. | 凯文 那不可能是我的警察 |
| [05:00] | I don’t have time for this nonsense. | 我没时间听你胡扯 |
| [05:02] | If you don’t stop meddling in this, | 如果你还要继续胡闹下去 |
| [05:03] | I’m gonna throw your ass in jail! | 我就把你关进监狱 |
| [05:05] | Dad, I’ve never actually asked you this, but… | 爸爸 我从来没有问过你 但是 |
| [05:08] | where were you the night Terry Two Toes was murdered? | 双趾特里被杀那晚你在哪里 |
| [05:10] | I won’t dignify that with an answer! | 我不屑于回答这个问题 |
| [05:12] | Get the hell out of my office! | 你他妈从我办公室滚出去 |
| [05:14] | And don’t ever ask me that again! | 别再问我了 |
| [05:15] | And for Christ’s sake, clean your lips up. | 天呐 快把你嘴弄干净 |
| [05:17] | No! Don’t lick ’em. | 不 别舔 |
| [05:20] | You’re being crazy, Kevin. Dad isn’t capable of murder. | 你疯了吧 凯文 爸爸不可能杀人 |
| [05:23] | But who in the department is? | 但是是部门里的哪个人呢 |
| [05:31] | Gina. Thanks for letting me crash at your place tonight. | 吉娜 谢谢你今晚让我住在这 |
| [05:33] | The hospital says it’s weird for me | 医院说我要是再继续 |
| [05:35] | to continue sleeping in a bed with a grown man in a coma. | 和一个成年的昏厥男子挤在一张床上 就很奇怪 |
| [05:38] | You frickin’ weirdo! | 你个死变态 |
| [05:41] | Ooh! I’m about to hit the sack. | 我要去睡觉了 |
| [05:43] | I don’t own blankets, but this is pretty much a sleeping bag. | 我没有毯子 但这个和睡袋差不多 |
| [05:47] | – For dead bodies. – Yeah, I’m good. | -给死人的 -没事 |
| [05:48] | Okay, just make yourself at home. What’s mine is yours. | 就当在自己家 我的就是你的 |
| [05:52] | Except for that door! | 除了那扇门 |
| [05:54] | Do not go near that fucking door! | 别他妈靠近那扇门 |
| [05:56] | Okay, nighty night, Kevin. Sweet dreams. | 晚安 凯文 做个好梦 |
| [06:03] | Bring that… big fat ass over here. | 把那个 大屁股挪过来 |
| [06:09] | I’m going to have to find something to bash this door open. | 我得找个东西把门撬开 |
| [06:28] | Oh, my God, it is Gina! | 我的天 是吉娜 |
| [06:30] | She must use these to monitor | 她一定是用这些 |
| [06:31] | her argyle meth operations all over town. | 来监视镇子里的菱形纹冰毒生意 |
| [06:35] | Wait a minute. All these cameras are in Dusty’s apartment. | 等等 这些摄像头都装在达斯廷家 |
| [06:39] | Let’s see what Dusty was up to the night of Terry’s murder. | 看看特里被杀那天达斯廷在干什么 |
| [06:42] | – Here it is.. – Well, time for my bath. | -就是这 -该洗澡啦 |
| [06:49] | Well, I guess that clears Dusty, but not Gina. | 达斯廷嫌疑解除 但是吉娜没有 |
| [06:51] | Oh, cheese and potatoes, | 奶酪和土豆 |
| [06:53] | Mr. Friskers, you’re gettin’ big. Hey! | 弗里斯克先生 你长大了 |
| [06:55] | Don’t lick me there. That’s where I make mush! | 别舔那 那是我做浆糊的地方 |
| [07:00] | No leads on the Kingpin. | 头目的事情依旧没有思路 |
| [07:02] | But I found out why Gina was talking like Michael Strahan that day. | 但是我知道为什么吉娜那晚说话像迈克尔·斯特拉罕 |
| [07:05] | Hopson, what are you doing here? | 霍普森 你干什么呢 |
| [07:07] | I like you, Kevin. I always have. | 我喜欢你 凯文 一直都喜欢 |
| [07:11] | So I’m only going to say this once. | 所以我就说这一次 |
| [07:13] | Stop looking into what happened that night. | 别再查那天晚上发生的事了 |
| [07:16] | Hopson, are you threatening me? | 霍普森 你是在威胁我吗 |
| [07:18] | Now I am. | 现在是了 |
| [07:19] | Clear the room! This woman’s got the biggest parasite we’ve ever seen! | 快出去 这个女人感染了前所未有的巨型寄生虫 |
| [07:23] | Really? How did this happen? | 真的吗 怎么回事 |
| [07:24] | Well, I’m no doctor, but if I had to guess, | 我不是医生 但是非要猜猜看的话 |
| [07:27] | it would be from licking a fat guy where he makes mush. | 肯定是因为舔了一个肥胖男人做浆糊的地方 |
| [07:30] | Santy, I understand why you never visit. | 圣诞老人 我知道你为什么从未来过 |
| [07:34] | Our town’s naughty. It’s not nice. | 我们镇太乱了 很不好 |
| [07:37] | It’ll take a ton of Christmas spirit | 需要有很强的圣诞气氛 |
| [07:40] | to bring you to this white trash dump called Paradise. | 才能让你来到这个叫天堂镇的白色垃圾场 |
| [07:45] | *Everyone must get some festive Christmas cheer* | *每人都要有圣诞喜悦* |
| [07:48] | *’Cause I want Santa to bring my train this year* | *因为今年我想要圣诞老人带火车给我* |
| [07:53] | *Put some green elf shoes* | *给哈西迪派犹太人* |
| [07:55] | *Onto Hasidic Jews* | *穿上绿色的精灵鞋* |
| [07:56] | *I stick a Rudolph nose* | *我拿出驯鹿的红鼻子* |
| [07:58] | *On all these strung-out hos Ho, ho, ho* | *给排排站的人戴上* |
| [08:00] | *Here’s a festive wreath You meth-head with two teeth* | *这是个节日花环 你个长了牙的吸毒脑袋* |
| [08:03] | *Ice skatesand snow skis for quadruple amputees* | *四肢截肢的人来滑冰滑雪* |
| [08:07] | *Creepy man, Ku Klux Klan Afghanistanian* | *死变态 三k党 阿富汗人* |
| [08:10] | *St. Nick’s gonna blow his load for my Christmas plan* | *圣尼克会因为我的圣诞计划射的爽歪歪* |
| [08:13] | *Everyone must get some festive Christmas cheer* | *每人都要有圣诞的喜悦* |
| [08:17] | *’Cause I want Santa Claus to pull a train on me this year!* | *因为今年想让圣诞老人给我辆火车* |
| [08:32] | I need to keep my eyes on Hopson 24/7. | 我得24小时盯着霍普森 |
| [08:35] | Right now, he’s at the PD Christmas party, | 现在 他在警局的圣诞派对上 |
| [08:37] | but I quit, so I can’t go. | 但是我不干了 所以我不能去 |
| [08:39] | Unless… I’m someone’s plus one. | 除非 我是某人的伴 |
| [08:43] | Thanks for taking me to this, Fitz. | 谢谢你带我来 菲茨 |
| [08:45] | Don’t worry, the hospital won’t miss you. | 别担心 医院不会发现你不见的 |
| [08:47] | You know, Fitz, I’ve never noticed this, | 知道吗 菲茨 我都没注意过 |
| [08:48] | but you look a lot like my first girlfriend, | 但是你真像我第一任女朋友 |
| [08:50] | brown-colored fuck doll. | 棕皮充气娃娃 |
| [08:54] | I love this man right here! | 我爱这个男人 |
| [08:58] | I love him! I love him! I love him! | 我爱他 我爱他 我爱他 |
| [09:02] | Wow, things seem to be going well with you and Mom. | 看起来你和妈妈进展的挺顺利的 |
| [09:04] | Oh, they are, so far. | 的确 目前为止 |
| [09:06] | Why do you seem so stressed out? | 你怎么看起来这么紧张 |
| [09:08] | You should be happy. | 你应该高兴啊 |
| [09:08] | I just got a lot on my mind, okay? | 我脑子里有很多事 行吗 |
| [09:11] | Side note, I don’t think Fitz is in any shape to be here. | 而且 我觉得菲茨无论如何都不该来 |
| [09:14] | Are you kidding? He’s having a great time! | 别逗了 他玩的多开心 |
| [09:16] | That’s right. Swallow that Christmas spirit! | 这就对了 把圣诞气氛一饮而尽 |
| [09:18] | Take it all! Look in my eyes while you do it. | 都喝了 喝的时候看着我的眼睛 |
| [09:23] | Bullet. What’re you doing here, drinking alone? | 子弹 你干什么呢 一人买醉 |
| [09:25] | I hate Christmas, all right? | 我讨厌圣诞节 行吗 |
| [09:27] | Nobody hates Christmas. | 没人讨厌圣诞节 |
| [09:28] | Yeah, well, most people aren’t ripped away from their family, | 大多数人都没被从家人身边夺走 |
| [09:30] | shoved in a box and given as a Christmas gift, like property. | 塞进盒子里当圣诞礼物送人 就像件物品 |
| [09:33] | Bullet, I had no idea. | 子弹 我一点都不知道 |
| [09:35] | By the way, you don’t care about Christmas either, all right? | 而且 你也不在乎什么圣诞节吧 |
| [09:38] | All you want is your little kiss on the lips under the mistletoe. | 你想要的就是槲寄生下的唇上一吻 |
| [09:41] | It’s pathetic how excited you are about that. | 你这么执着于这件事还真是可悲 |
| [09:43] | I didn’t specify what lips. | 我可没说是什么唇 |
| [09:46] | You’re a monster, Gina. | 你就是魔鬼 吉娜 |
| [09:48] | A monster who’s within her legal rights. | 魔鬼也有合法权益 |
| [09:57] | *Conga with a black guy…* | *和黑人一起跳康茄* |
| [10:00] | Where’s Hopson? I’ve got to find him. | 霍普森去哪了 我得找到他 |
| [10:02] | Fitz, you’ve gotta drive yourself back to the hospital. | 菲茨 你自己开车回医院 |
| [10:07] | What are you up to, Hopson? | 你想干什么 霍普森 |
| [10:09] | Looks like you’re… selling drugs! | 看起来是 在卖毒品 |
| [10:14] | I know what’s going on here. | 我知道这都发生了什么 |
| [10:15] | – Tell me where it’s going down. – In there. | -告诉我它的下落 -在里面 |
| [10:22] | Guess they pass the drugs through this hole! | 他们应该是从这个洞里把毒品递过来 |
| [10:24] | I’m here. Now give me the goods. | 我来了 把货给我吧 |
| [10:25] | I gave you the money! Give it to me! | 我给过钱了 快给我 |
| [10:29] | Give me the– | 给我 |
| [10:35] | All right! That little stunt you | 行了 你这个小把戏 |
| [10:36] | pulled was very close to crossing the line. | 差一点就越界了 |
| [10:39] | Why are you threatening me? | 你为什么要威胁我 |
| [10:40] | Why are you trying to stop my investigation? | 你为什么要阻止我调查 |
| [10:43] | Because I’m protecting someone. | 因为我在保护某人 |
| [10:45] | – Who? Who? – Your father! | -谁 谁 -你父亲 |
| [10:47] | My dad is the argyle meth Kingpin? | 我爸爸是菱形纹毒品的头目 |
| [10:50] | I’m not answering any more questions. | 我不会再回答你的问题了 |
| [10:52] | Unless you ask me through the hole. | 除非你隔着洞问我 |
| [10:54] | – What the hell is that? – It’s my invention. | -这是什么 -这是我的小发明 |
| [10:56] | The mobile glory-hole. | 移动光芒万丈洞 |
| [10:58] | Mark Cuban said he loved it! | 马克·库班说他喜欢 |
| [11:01] | – On Shark Tank? – No, behind the Kmart dumpster. | -《创智赢家》 -不 在凯马特垃圾站后面 |
| [11:05] | Terry Two Toes was shot September 25th at 10:30 p.M. | 双趾特里在9月25日晚十点半被枪杀 |
| [11:09] | That night Dad stood up Mom for their date | 那晚爸爸放了妈妈的鸽子 |
| [11:11] | because he ran out of testosterone patches | 因为他的睾酮贴片用完了 |
| [11:13] | and grew the most perfect set of breasts I’ve ever seen. | 然后长出了我见过的最好看的胸 |
| [11:15] | He stormed out of the house at 9 p.M. for some mysterious reason. | 他因某些神秘原因在晚九点冲出房间 |
| [11:20] | – Let me feel them! Come on, Dad. – Stop it! | -让我摸摸 快点 -快停下 |
| [11:23] | No means no! | 不可能 |
| [11:25] | I remember waking up the next morning | 我记得第二天早上醒来 |
| [11:26] | and finding that Dad hadn’t come home all night. | 发现爸爸一整晚都没回家 |
| [11:29] | At the time, I just assumed he was a werewolf. | 那时候我还以为他是狼人 |
| [11:31] | But now, Fitz, I think my dad is the argyle meth Kingpin | 但是现在 菲茨 我就得他是菱形纹冰毒头目 |
| [11:35] | and I gotta catch him red-handed. | 我要把他绳之于法 |
| [11:38] | I don’t know if I can do this on my own, Fitz. | 我不知道自己能不能做到 菲茨 |
| [11:40] | You won’t have to. | 你不必 |
| [11:44] | – Fitz! You’re awake! – That’s right. | -菲茨 你醒了 -对 |
| [11:46] | I won’t leave your side until we take your dad down. | 在扳倒你爸爸之前我是不会离开你的 |
| [11:49] | Good morning. | 早上好 |
| [11:51] | What the hell are you doing? | 你他妈搞什么鬼 |
| [11:52] | This man has a severe clown phobia. | 他有严重的小丑恐惧 |
| [11:54] | Were you cheering up cancer kids or something? | 你当鼓励癌症儿童呢吗 |
| [11:56] | Oh, God, no. Gathering of the Juggalos. ICP for life. | 不是 小丑大聚会 用生命爱小丑 |
| [12:03] | If Dad is the Kingpin, | 如果爸爸就是头目 |
| [12:04] | I’ll bet he’s got argyle meth hidden somewhere. | 某个地方肯定藏着菱形纹毒品 |
| [12:07] | Ah! Maybe he hid it inside this priceless vase he didn’t insure. | 没准就藏在这个没入保险的无价花瓶里 |
| [12:12] | Nope. Or in his grandmother’s ashes! | 没有 或者在祖母的骨灰里 |
| [12:16] | Nope. | 没有 |
| [12:18] | Oh… I checked everywhere | 我把每个地方都检查了 |
| [12:20] | and there’s no argyle meth here. | 根本就没有菱形纹冰毒 |
| [12:22] | Unless he hid it in his pet gerbil. | 除非他藏在沙鼠里面了 |
| [12:26] | Nope. | 没有 |
| [12:29] | It’s so nice to see you all are setting up a stage | 看到你们都在为圣诞点灯搭舞台 |
| [12:32] | for the Christmas tree lightin’. | 实在是太开心了 |
| [12:34] | The tree lighting was canceled due to low interest. | 因为没什么意思 点灯会被取消了 |
| [12:36] | It’s been replaced with something the people of Paradise | 被天堂镇人们感兴趣的事情 |
| [12:38] | are interested in. | 替代掉了 |
| [12:40] | The world’s largest dwarf gang bang. | 世界规模最大的侏儒街舞大赛 |
| [12:40] | 世界规模最大 侏儒 街舞大赛 | |
| [12:42] | I wanna see that too, but the tree lightin’ can’t be canceled. | 这个我也想看 但是点灯会不能取消 |
| [12:45] | We gotta get us a 50-foot tree | 我们要用一棵15米的树 |
| [12:47] | and so many lights that Santa can see it from space. | 还有超多的彩灯 让圣诞老人在天上都能看见 |
| [12:49] | And some fake snow and some– | 还有假雪还有 |
| [12:51] | Silence, Hindenburg! | 安静 兴登堡 |
| [12:52] | I’m in charge here and there will be no Christmas lights | 这里我负责 没有点灯仪式 |
| [12:55] | and no Christmas tree. | 没有圣诞树 |
| [13:10] | What the hell is this Christmas crap? | 为什么在搞什么圣诞节 |
| [13:12] | I paid for seats in the sploodge zone. | 我花钱是要看点带劲的东西的 |
| [13:14] | Oh, it’s been canceled. | 取消掉了 |
| [13:15] | Sorry if I ruined your holiday plans | 我很抱歉 打乱了你观看 |
| [13:16] | of watching a dwarf gang bang. | 侏儒街舞大赛的计划 |
| [13:18] | Watch it. Are you kidding me? | 观看 你在逗我吗 |
| [13:19] | I’m three foot six. I was gonna be in it! | 我只有一米 我是来参赛的 |
| [13:21] | God damn it! The only thing I’ve been looking forward to | 妈的 这是这个狗屁圣诞节里 |
| [13:23] | this whole shitty fucking holiday! | 我唯一期待的东西 |
| [13:25] | – I hate Christmas! – Hate Christmas all you want. | -我讨厌圣诞节 -想怎么讨厌就怎么讨厌 |
| [13:27] | Just don’t get in my way. And keep that Grinch shit away from Dusty! | 别挡了我的路 让那个扫兴的东西离达斯廷远点 |
| [13:31] | How’s it going, my plus-size panty soaker? | 怎么样了 穿大号裤子的小甜心 |
| [13:33] | I’ve been passing out flyers for the Christmas tree lighting, | 我一直为点灯仪式发传单 |
| [13:36] | but everybody told me to shove ’em up my big fat B hole. | 但每个人都让我塞屁眼儿去 |
| [13:39] | It’ll just break my heart if nobody shows up. | 没人来的话我的心都要碎了 |
| [13:42] | And I certainly won’t feel like kissing no lips under no mistletoe. | 那我绝不会在槲寄生下亲吻谁的唇了 |
| [13:49] | Attention, citizens of Paradise. | 请注意 天堂镇的居民们 |
| [13:51] | In an effort to raise Christmas spirit, | 为了调动起圣诞的氛围 |
| [13:53] | martial law will be invoked | 将引用戒严法 |
| [13:55] | and enforced during the Christmas tree lighting, | 在圣诞点灯仪式中开始生效 |
| [13:57] | tonight at midnight. | 今晚午夜 |
| [13:58] | Anyone not attending will be shot and killed on site. | 任何人不参加都会被立刻枪杀 |
| [14:01] | Merry Christmas. | 圣诞快乐 |
| [14:04] | I’ve got nothing on Dad. | 爸爸的把柄我一点没抓到 |
| [14:05] | I don’t know how I’ll ever take him down. | 我不知道该怎么把他拿下 |
| [14:07] | It would take a Christmas miracle. | 大概需要圣诞奇迹 |
| [14:11] | Holy crap, the Kingpin’s phone! | 我的个天 首领的手机 |
| [14:14] | Hello? Howdy do? It’s me, Robbie, boss. | 你好 怎么样 是我 罗比 头儿 |
| [14:18] | Sure, I can meet you midnight tonight | 当然 今天午夜可以见你 |
| [14:20] | at the abandoned Christmas tree factory | 在一个废弃的圣诞树工厂 |
| [14:21] | to buy a bunch of argyle meth. Yee-haw! Yeah. | 买些菱形纹冰毒 |
| [14:25] | Gotcha, Dad… if that is your real name. | 抓住你了 爸爸 如果那是你的真名的话 |
| [14:29] | If I’m going to stop Dad, I’m going to need a gun. | 要是想阻止老爸 我需要一把枪 |
| [14:32] | I know he hides his old one in here somewhere. | 我知道他藏着一把旧的 |
| [14:38] | What’s this? Oh, my God. | 这是什么 我的天 |
| [14:39] | He kept this? Can’t believe I could end up using this on my own dad. | 他还留着 我竟然要用这个对付我爸爸 |
| [14:43] | Again. I did shoot his balls off with it. | 再一次 我用它把爸爸的蛋蛋打掉了 |
| [14:46] | Oh, there you are, you little asshole! | 你在这呢 小混蛋 |
| [14:49] | You ransacked my house and made a strawberry smoothie | 你洗劫了我的房子还做了草莓奶昔 |
| [14:53] | that tasted really weird. Plus, my gerbil’s missing. | 尝起来怪怪的 另外 我的沙鼠不见了 |
| [14:56] | Didn’t I tell you what was gonna happen | 我难道没告诉你 |
| [14:57] | if you didn’t stop meddling? | 要是你不停止干预会发生什么 |
| [15:01] | You just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you, son? | 你就是放不下 是吧儿子 |
| [15:04] | This is a very important night for me. | 今晚对我来说非常重要 |
| [15:06] | I’ve got something really big going down at midnight | 午夜我有非常重要的大事 |
| [15:09] | and I am not gonna let you ruin it! | 我可不能让你毁了它 |
| [15:14] | Why didn’t I just hide it? | 为什么不藏起来呢 |
| [15:16] | I knew it! He is doing the big argyle meth deal tonight. | 我就知道 他今晚要做菱形纹冰毒生意 |
| [15:19] | I can’t bust him if I’m stuck in here. | 要是被困在这就不能抓他了 |
| [15:22] | Who can I trust to go in my place? | 有谁值得信任能代替我去 |
| [15:24] | I need someone as cunning as I am with balls of steel. | 我需要一个像我一样狡猾还胆量过人的人 |
| [15:28] | *Scrooge, you better listen to my fat ass* | *守财奴 你最好听我这个大胖子讲* |
| [15:31] | *’Cause I’m the ghost of Christmas past* | *因为我是圣诞节的幽灵* |
| [15:34] | *Don’t you be so freakin’ greedy* | *不要如此贪婪* |
| [15:37] | *You better give to the needy* | *你最好发给贫穷的人* |
| [15:42] | *Don’t be a Jew, Scrooge Don’t be a Jew this Christmas* | *别小气 守财奴 这个圣诞别当个小气鬼* |
| [15:47] | *I’m saying don’t be a Jew* | *我说了别当个小气鬼* |
| [15:49] | *Scrooge, don’t be a Jew* | *守财奴 别当个小气鬼* |
| [15:52] | *This Christmas* | *在这个圣诞* |
| [15:56] | Wunderbar, Dusty. Incredible song. | 太好了 达斯廷 这歌真不错 |
| [15:59] | Mr. Anton, | 安东先生 |
| [16:01] | are you sure we need all that anti-Jew stuff at the end? | 结尾真的需要那些反犹太的东西吗 |
| [16:04] | Ja. ‘Tis the season. | 就是这个时候 |
| [16:08] | Ho, ho, hello? | 喂 |
| [16:09] | Dusty, you’re never going to believe this, | 达斯廷 你肯定不敢相信 |
| [16:11] | but the argyle meth Kingpin is my dad. | 菱形纹冰毒的头目是我爸爸 |
| [16:13] | Yeah, that’s who I would’ve picked. | 也对 是我也会选他 |
| [16:15] | Dad is doing a huge deal tonight at midnight. | 他今天午夜有笔大生意 |
| [16:17] | It’s my only chance to bust him! But he locked me in the jail. | 这是我抓捕他的唯一机会 但他把我关到监狱了 |
| [16:20] | I need you to go for me. | 你得替我去 |
| [16:21] | But my tree lighting’s at midnight. | 但是点灯活动就在午夜 |
| [16:23] | Dusty, please! This is our only chance! | 达斯廷 求你了 这是唯一的机会 |
| [16:25] | I’ll try to get out of here. If I can, I’ll back you up. | 我试试能不能出去 我出去了就支援你 |
| [16:27] | Well, I guess nothing shows more Christmas spirit | 没有什么能够比帮助患难的朋友 |
| [16:30] | than helping a friend in need. | 更能体现圣诞气氛了 |
| [16:32] | – I’ll do it. – Where’s the sign-in for the gang bang? | -我去 -街舞大赛在哪签到 |
| [16:35] | I can’t tell if that wiener’s big | 我看不出来你那根香肠到底是真的大 |
| [16:37] | or just looks big on you, little man. | 还是在你身上看着显大 小老弟 |
| [16:39] | – It’s big, asshole! – All right, if you say so. | -就是很大 -行吧 你非要这么说的话 |
| [16:47] | Let’s go, people! Move it! | 大伙走吧 快走 |
| [16:48] | What the hell are you doing here? | 你在这干什么 |
| [16:49] | I’m required by law to be here, right? | 按法律要求 我应该来 对吧 |
| [16:51] | Like the rest of your holiday hostages. | 就像你挟持的其他人一样 |
| [16:53] | Where’s Dusty? It’s almost midnight. | 达斯廷去哪了 都快午夜了 |
| [16:54] | Maybe his balls dropped and he realized that he’s a grown man. | 也许他的蛋蛋落下来 他意识到自己是个大人了 |
| [16:57] | Thought about that? | 想过吗 |
| [16:58] | I’m gonna tell these poor people they can go home | 我要告诉这群可怜的家伙可以回家了 |
| [17:00] | and I’m gonna call that bus full of horny half-pints | 还要告诉那辆装满小矮人的大巴 |
| [17:02] | and tell them to turn round, point it at my dick. | 让他们掉头 指着我的鸡鸡 |
| [17:05] | Not another step! | 不许再上前一步 |
| [17:06] | I’m lighting this Christmas tree with or without Dusty. | 有没有达斯廷我都要点亮这棵圣诞树 |
| [17:10] | Christmas spirit counts whether he’s here or not. | 不管他在不在都要有圣诞气氛 |
| [17:12] | You’re out of control, Gina! | 你失控了 吉娜 |
| [17:14] | It’s time somebody put a stop to your corny Christmas bullshit. | 得有个人来阻止你这堆狗屁圣诞的事 |
| [17:25] | All right, you fucking shit town. Let’s get merry. | 破烂小镇子 咱们来庆祝庆祝 |
| [17:33] | It’s beautiful. | 好美呀 |
| [17:34] | Isn’t it, son? | 对吧 儿子 |
| [17:43] | Delbert, man, I’m sorry I got you mixed up with argyle meth. | 德尔贝 抱歉让你参与到冰毒的事情里了 |
| [17:47] | It’s my fault you lost your hand | 都怪我你才没了一只手 |
| [17:48] | and I ruined your dream of going to the Winter Olympics | 打碎了你去冬奥会 |
| [17:51] | and jerking off two guys at the same time. | 给两个男人同时打飞机的梦 |
| [17:53] | That’s okay, Robbie. | 没事的 罗比 |
| [17:54] | Who needs to jerk off a two-man bobsled team | 谁还想去给双人雪橇队打飞机呀 |
| [17:56] | when you can do this? | 我能做这个 |
| [18:01] | Bullet, I’m sorry about how I acted | 子弹 我对我的行为感到抱歉 |
| [18:03] | and I do hope that you can learn to love Christmas. | 我真的希望你能爱上圣诞节 |
| [18:06] | Wait a minute. Is this… | 等等 这是 |
| [18:08] | 100% pure direct from a Peruvian jungle lab. | 百分百直接从秘鲁丛林提取 |
| [18:12] | I was gonna track down your parents, | 我本来想追查一下你父母的 |
| [18:13] | but I thought you’d like this more. | 但是我觉得你会喜欢这个 |
| [18:16] | Oh! You know me so well. | 你太了解我了 |
| [18:18] | I think I’m starting to like Christmas. | 我应该爱上圣诞节了 |
| [18:22] | When Bullet snorted that coke, | 子弹吸入可卡因的时候 |
| [18:24] | his heart grew three sizes that day, | 他的心脏变成了三倍大 |
| [18:27] | which is extremely unhealthy, most doctors say. | 这是极不健康的 大多数医生都这么说 |
| [18:33] | I gotta get out of here to help Dusty! | 我得出去帮达斯廷 |
| [18:38] | You ain’t gonna get out that way. | 你这样可出不去 |
| [18:40] | Hobo-Cop, how’d you get in here? | 流浪警察 你怎么进来的 |
| [18:41] | There’s a hole in the wall. | 墙上有个洞 |
| [18:44] | No. I know this trick. | 不 我知道这个把戏 |
| [18:48] | I don’t think my mouth is going to fit over that. | 这个洞可能不太适合我的嘴 |
| [18:51] | I’m coming, Dusty! Oh, crap, it’s almost midnight. | 我来了达斯廷 糟了 快到午夜了 |
| [18:55] | – Kevin! – Dad? What are you doing here? | -凯文 -爸爸 你在这做什么 |
| [18:57] | You said you had somewhere important to be. | 你说你有很重要的地方要去 |
| [18:59] | I told you to stay out of it. | 我跟你说了别再插手 |
| [19:00] | Now I gotta put you back in jail. | 我马上给你扔回监狱里去 |
| [19:02] | – No, you’re not! – Kevin! | -不 你不能 -凯文 |
| [19:04] | You’re going to confess to what you did the night of Terry’s murder, | 马上坦白 特里被杀那晚你做了什么 |
| [19:07] | right now, in front of everyone. | 立刻 在所有人面前 |
| [19:09] | Okay, okay, you wanna know what really happened that night? | 好吧 你真的想知道那晚发生了什么 |
| [19:13] | Well, I’ll tell you. | 那我告诉你 |
| [19:14] | I was depressed about sprouting that perfect set of 34Gs. | 把34G的大胸漏出来让我心情低落 |
| [19:18] | So I spent the night getting drunk. | 所以我那晚去买醉了 |
| [19:21] | You expect me to believe you hid your whereabouts | 你觉得我会相信 你隐藏自己的行踪 |
| [19:23] | because you were embarrassed you got drunk? | 就是因为喝多了而尴尬吗 |
| [19:25] | No, I was embarrassed about what happened after I got drunk. | 不 喝多了之后的事情让我很难堪 |
| [19:32] | I’m a continental breakfast, boys. | 我是一道欧式早餐 男人们 |
| [19:35] | Melons on top, but a sausage below. | 上面大如瓜 下面大香肠 |
| [19:39] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [19:40] | Can anyone back that up? | 有人能证实吗 |
| [19:42] | Don’t act like none of you were there! | 别装的像你们都不在似的 |
| [19:44] | I was. That’s why I was protecting you, Chief. | 我在 所以我才要保护你 警长 |
| [19:47] | I didn’t want to see your life ruined. | 我不想看到你的生活被毁掉 |
| [19:50] | I’m in love with Summer Sausage. | 我爱上夏日大香肠了 |
| [19:53] | Jesus, Hopson, | 天呐 霍普森 |
| [19:54] | is that why I caught you hiding my testosterone patches? | 因为这个你才把我的睾丸贴片藏起来 |
| [19:57] | I just want to eat one more continental breakfast | 我只是想再吃一次欧式早餐 |
| [20:00] | before I die, Summer. | 在我死之前 夏天 |
| [20:02] | Stop calling me that! Well, Kevin, way to go. | 别再这么叫我了 凯文 冤家路窄 |
| [20:05] | I was going to propose to your mother tonight, but you ruined it, | 今晚本来想跟你妈妈求婚的 但是被你毁了 |
| [20:08] | just like I knew you would! | 我就知道你会这么做 |
| [20:09] | You were going to propose? | 你打算求婚 |
| [20:11] | Yeah, but now that you know about Summer Sausage, | 对 但是你现在知道夏日香肠的事情了 |
| [20:14] | – you’ll probably never speak to me again. – I love you. | -你大概永远都不会理我了 -我爱你 |
| [20:17] | And of course I want to marry you again. | 我当然愿意再嫁给你一次 |
| [20:21] | And I’d like to meet this Summer Sausage. | 我也想见见这个夏日大香肠 |
| [20:23] | You can’t marry her! | 你不能娶她 |
| [20:25] | Because you’re going to marry me, Summer. | 因为你得娶我 夏天 |
| [20:27] | Get the hell out of here, Hopson! | 给我滚蛋 霍普森 |
| [20:28] | Oh, wait, that is a big rock. | 等等 这钻石真大 |
| [20:30] | Wait a minute. If you’re not the argyle meth Kingpin, | 等等 如果你不是菱形纹冰毒的头目 |
| [20:34] | who was on the other end of that phone? | 电话那头是谁 |
| [20:35] | Who’s meeting Dusty right now? | 现在谁在和达斯廷会面 |
| [20:42] | Who is it? | 是谁 |
| [20:44] | Oh, my God, it’s you! | 我的天 是你 |
| [20:46] | What the fuck are you doing… ? | 你在这干什么 |
| [20:47] | Yes, Dusty, it’s me, the real Santa. | 是的 达斯廷 是我 真正的圣诞老人 |
| [20:51] | I knew it would work! | 我就知道肯定管用 |
| [20:53] | All the Christmas spirit got you here to Paradise. | 圣诞气氛让你来到了天堂镇 |
| [20:56] | That’s right. It was the Christmas spirit that… | 的确 就是圣诞气氛 |
| [21:00] | Oh, fuck. | 我操 |
| [21:01] | Santa? You mixed up in argyle meth? | 圣诞老人 你参与了菱形纹冰毒的事 |
| [21:04] | Ho, ho, ho! Dusty, it’s red and green meth. | 达斯廷 那只不过是红的和绿的冰毒 |
| [21:07] | I can’t believe it took you incompetent pig so long to figure it out. | 你这个蠢猪花了这么久才发现 |
| [21:12] | But Santa, it can’t be! You’re good! | 圣诞老人 不能这样 你是好人 |
| [21:14] | You stand for the spirit of giving! | 你代表着给予的精神 |
| [21:17] | Give, give, give. | 给予 给予 给予 |
| [21:18] | But when does Santa get his fucking piece, huh? No! | 圣诞老人什么时候能拿到自己那份 不能 |
| [21:23] | I believed in you. | 我那么信任你 |
| [21:24] | Even though the other kids made fun of me, | 即使别的孩子嘲笑我 |
| [21:26] | I never stopped believing. | 我从来没有停止过相信你 |
| [21:28] | I know, Dusty, and I’m sorry that I’ve let you down. | 我知道 达斯廷 对不起让你失望了 |
| [21:32] | You know what I think will make up for it? Your train. | 也许这个能够弥补 你的火车 |
| [21:36] | My Chuggy Chuggy Choo Choo? | 咔嚓咔嚓小火车 |
| [21:39] | Your train to hell! All aboard! | 通往地狱的列车 都上车吧 |
| [21:45] | *Jolly Old Saint Nicholas Lives at the North Pole* | *快乐的圣诞老人住在北极圈* |
| [21:50] | *He is such a sweet old man He’d never harm a soul…* | *他是如此和善的老人 从不伤害任何人* |
| [21:56] | Made in China piece of shit! | 中国制造的垃圾 |
| [22:05] | Ooh! Candy cane! | 拐杖糖 |
| [22:07] | Looks like I’ll have to do this with peace and joy. | 看来我要用爱与和平来解决问题了 |
| [22:14] | Enjoy your last meal, you fat fuck. | 享受你的最后一餐吧 死肥猪 |
| [22:24] | *His heart is sweet as candy His beard is white as wool* | *他心肠甜似糖果 胡须洁白似羊毛* |
| [22:27] | *He’d never pick up a yule log And crush a fat guy’s skull…* | *他永远不会拿起大木头打碎胖子的头骨* |
| [22:32] | Huh! I guess this was for Dusty’s big finish. | 是时候展示达斯廷的盛大结局了 |
| [22:34] | Wherever he is, I’m gonna get that kiss. | 不管他在哪 我都要得到这一吻 |
| [22:37] | *Hallelujah!* | *哈利路亚* |
| [22:39] | *Hallelujah!* | *哈利路亚* |
| [22:41] | *Hallelujah! Hallelujah!* | *哈利路亚 哈利路亚* |
| [22:43] | *Hallelujah!* | *哈利路亚* |
| [22:46] | *Hallelujah! Hall–* | *哈利路亚 哈* |
| [22:49] | Die, Santa, die! Die, you son of a cunt! | 去死吧圣诞老人 去死吧去死吧 狗娘养的 |
| [22:52] | Fucking shitburger, bitch… | 该死的人渣 贱货 |
| [22:58] | And I’m keeping the goddamn Choo Choo! | 我就要留着这个该死的火车 |
| [23:07] | Dusty! Are you okay? We got here as soon as we could. | 达斯廷 你还好吗 我们以最快的速度赶来的 |
| [23:10] | Wait a minute, who’s giant bag of argyle meth is that, Dusty? | 等一会 这一大袋菱形纹冰毒是谁的 达斯廷 |
| [23:14] | Santy Claus’s? | 圣诞老人的 |
| [23:18] | I didn’t do it! I tell you, it was Santy Claus! | 不是我干的 跟你说过了 是圣诞老人 |
| [23:21] | Santy Claus did it, that twat-sucking piece of shit! | 圣诞老人干的 那个狗娘养的 |
| [23:24] | Wow, you were right all along, son. | 你一直都是对的 儿子 |
| [23:27] | I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. | 对不起我没有相信你 |
| [23:28] | You are the best damn cop the city of Paradise has ever seen. | 你是天堂镇有史以来最棒的警察 |
| [23:32] | I never thought it was Dusty. | 从没想过会是达斯廷 |
| [23:34] | I thought I saw a footage at Gina’s place | 我以为在吉娜那里看到的视频 |
| [23:35] | that cleared him of Terry’s murder. | 洗清了他谋杀特里的嫌疑 |
| [23:37] | Hey, he tricked you. Threw you off the trail. | 他骗了你 让你想错了思路 |
| [23:39] | But don’t feel bad. | 但是别太难过 |
| [23:40] | He tricked all of us. | 他把我们都骗了 |
| [23:41] | We all thought he was just a clueless man-child. | 我们都以为他是个傻不拉几的孩子 |
| [23:43] | Ho, ho! But you caught him red-handed. | 但是你把他绳之于法了 |
| [23:47] | No! Dusty, I know you’re innocent. | 不 达斯廷 我知道你是无辜的 |
| [23:49] | You can’t take him from me! Let him go! | 你们不能把他带走 放了他 |
| [23:52] | He owes me a kiss under the mistletoe. | 他还欠我槲寄生下一吻 |
| [23:53] | – Please, you gotta get him out. – You’ll need a trial lawyer. | -拜托放他出来 -你需要一名辩护律师 |
| [23:55] | I only handle minor cunnilingus disputes. | 我只能处理小的性骚扰事件 |
| [23:59] | Sorry, got to take this. It’s Michael Douglas again. | 抱歉 接个电话 又是迈克尔·道格拉斯 |
| [24:05] | Wait a minute. Am I in a women’s prison? | 等一会 我在女子监狱里面 |
| [24:08] | Of course you are. You’re a woman. We checked… twice. | 当然了 你是个女人 我们检查过了 两次 |
| [24:11] | I have a buried penis. | 我有人工阴茎 |
| [24:14] | I even have a doctor’s note ’cause these mix-ups happen all the time. | 我还有医生的便签 因为这种弄混了的事情常有 |
| [24:17] | Shut up and get in your cell, lady. | 闭嘴赶紧进牢房吧 女士 |
| [24:19] | Hey! | 喂 |
| [24:21] | I hear you’re the one who killed my son. | 我听说你就是那个杀了我儿子的人 |
| [24:23] | You about to be one dead woman. | 你马上就要成为一个死女人了 |
| [24:26] | Oh, my God. Bunk beds! | 我的天 上下铺 |
| [24:29] | I’m sorry, what did you say? | 不好意思 你刚才说啥 |
| [24:33] | Well, Fitz, I guess I got everything I wanted. | 菲茨 我应该得到我想要的全部了 |
| [24:35] | My parents are getting remarried. I’m a hero in my dad’s eyes. | 我的父母复婚了 我也成了我爸眼里的英雄 |
| [24:39] | He’s even giving me a medal. | 他甚至给我发了奖牌 |
| [24:41] | But it all feels empty | 但是感觉好空虚 |
| [24:42] | because I don’t know if you’ll ever come out of this. | 因为我不知道你能不能好起来 |
| [24:54] | Yeah, it’s me. | 是我 |
| [24:55] | It worked better than I could have imagined. | 比我想象的效果还好 |
| [24:57] | They think that fat cop is the Kingpin. | 他们觉得那个胖警察就是头目 |
| [24:59] | And he took out Kringle for me. | 他也替我被抓了 |
| [25:01] | Don’t get me wrong. | 别理解错了 |
| [25:02] | Saint Nick was good for handling distribution | 圣诞老人非常擅长分销 |
| [25:04] | so I could keep my cover, | 所以我能继续隐藏下去 |
| [25:05] | but I was sick of sharing my profits with that bowl full of jelly. | 但是我受不了用装满果冻的碗来分利润了 |
| [25:09] | And now, Paradise is all mine. Me, the Kingpin. | 现在天堂镇都是我的了 我 就是头目 |
| [25:13] | Here’s our new drug, boss. Argyle meth. | 这是我们的新型毒品 菱形纹冰毒 |
| [25:16] | Red and green? Don’t you think that’s a dead giveaway? | 红色和绿色 你不觉得会没人要吗 |
| [25:19] | Why don’t you put chocolate in that shit, too? | 你怎么不在这里面也加点巧克力呢 |
| [25:21] | Ho, ho, ho, good idea, boss. | 好主意啊 头儿 |
| [25:26] | I just don’t understand. | 我只是不懂 |
| [25:28] | It was supposed to be a plastic steak. | 不应该是一块塑料牛排吗 |
| [25:30] | I set you motherfuckers up. | 我陷害的你们这群混蛋 |
| [25:42] | And I fucking hate prop comedy. | 我讨厌喜剧道具师 |
| [25:47] | 当地警方抓到罪犯的幕后黑手 但人们依旧讨厌他们 | |
| [25:48] | Oh, boss, thank goodness. | 头儿 谢天谢地 |
| [25:52] | Please, wait a second. | 等等 |
| [25:55] | None of those cops suspect a thing. | 这些警察什么都没怀疑 |
| [25:57] | They’re all too stupid… | 他们都太蠢了 |
| [25:59] | except for one of them, but I’ll be taking him out next. | 一个人除外 下次把他踢出局 |
| [26:08] | Hey, you! | 你 |
| [26:09] | Have you ever been in church | 你去过教堂吗 |
| [26:11] | and had a hankering for an anonymous blowjob? | 渴望着让陌生人给你打飞机吗 |
| [26:14] | Well, now you can get one, with Hopco’s mobile gloryhole. | 现在可以实现了 就用霍氏移动光芒万丈洞 |
| [26:18] | The glo-hole to go! It works anywhere. | 移动洞洞 随时随地可用 |
| [26:21] | At a job interview. | 工作面试 |
| [26:23] | Your wife’s funeral. | 你妻子的葬礼 |
| [26:24] | Next to a playground. | 游乐场旁边 |
| [26:26] | On trial for indecent exposure. | 或者在不雅行为的审判上 |
| [26:29] | Anywhere! | 任何地方 |
| [26:30] | Comes in three sizes: white, black, | 三种尺寸 白人 黑人 |
| [26:32] | and Tucker Carlson. | 还有塔克·卡尔森 |