| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:41] | I’ve walked down Liberty Avenue, | 我走在自由大道上 |
| [00:43] | oh, I don’t know how many times, | 无数次地 |
| [00:44] | checking out the guys, enjoying the view, | 欣赏美男 享受美景 |
| [00:47] | no problema. | 无忧无虑 |
| [00:51] | That was, until I met him. | 直到我遇见他 一切都变了 |
| [01:02] | Am I going crazy? | 我是不是疯了 |
| [01:20] | ♪Someday, he’ll come along♪ | ♪总有一天 他会出现♪ |
| [01:24] | ♪The man I love♪ | ♪我爱的那个男人♪ |
| [01:27] | – Cheers. – Cheers. | -干杯 -干杯 |
| [01:28] | ♪and he’ll be big and strong♪ | ♪他会高大健壮♪ |
| [01:32] | I’m just feeling a little vulnerable, that’s all, | 我只是觉得有点脆弱 仅此而已 |
| [01:34] | since Ben and I broke up. | 因为我和本分手了 |
| [01:37] | But I’ll be over that soon enough, | 但我很快就会忘了这伤心情事的 |
| [01:38] | courtesy of “Pittsburgh man-2-man”. | 多亏有「匹兹堡男人面对面」 |
| [01:41] | Hi, this is Barry. I’m in my late 20s. | 你好 我叫巴里 快到30岁了 |
| [01:43] | I love to eat in or out. | 我喜欢在家或出去享受美食 |
| [01:45] | I’d say I’m a well-rounded guy. | 我觉得我是个多才多艺的[肥胖的]男人 |
| [01:47] | Can you pass the butter? | 能把黄油递给我吗 |
| [01:56] | Hey, guys, I’m Marcus, | 大家好 我叫马库斯 |
| [01:57] | a motivated business professional with clearly defined goals. | 一个积极向上 目标明确的企业家 |
| [01:59] | When you’re ready to make a long-term commitment, call me. | 如果你打算长期交往的话 打给我 |
| [02:03] | Have you thought about… | 你有没有考虑过 |
| [02:05] | term life insurance? | 购买定期人寿保险 |
| [02:10] | Hey, I’m Ed. | 你好 我叫艾德 |
| [02:11] | Great body, great personality, | 身材好 性格也好 |
| [02:13] | looking to pamper that special someone. | 想要用心呵护[纸尿裤]那个特别的人 |
| [02:22] | He wanted to diaper me. | 他想给我用尿布 |
| [02:24] | Aw, poor baby. | 可怜的小宝宝 |
| [02:27] | What did you expect from a 30-second voice personal? | 你指望能从30秒的语音简介中看出什么 |
| [02:29] | Honesty. I didn’t lie in my ad. | 诚实啊 我的录音里可没撒谎 |
| [02:31] | Much. | 多少撒了点 |
| [02:34] | You called and listened to my ad? | 你打过去听我的语音简介了吗 |
| [02:37] | It’s a free country. | 这是个自由国度 |
| [02:39] | “Hey, it’s Mike. | “大家好 我叫迈克 |
| [02:40] | Cute, swimmer build. | 可爱 游泳健将的身材 |
| [02:42] | – Boy-next-door type.” – Where you goin’? | -邻家男孩的类型” -你去哪儿 |
| [02:45] | Sounds good. | 听上去不错啊 |
| [02:46] | You also added a couple extra inches. | 你还给自己多加了几英寸 |
| [02:50] | To his height. I-I… | 把身高多说了几英寸 我… |
| [02:51] | But I was very pleased to hear that you’re versatile, | 不过我很高兴听到你是「攻受皆可」 |
| [02:54] | and not a total bottom. | 而非「万年受」 |
| [02:56] | Ah, sounds even better. | 听上去更好了啊 |
| [03:01] | Can I interject just one word of motherly advice? | 我能给你一句来自母亲的忠告吗 |
| [03:05] | Interject away. | 说吧 |
| [03:06] | You’re never gonna get a boyfriend from voice mail. | 光听语音是不可能找得到男朋友的 |
| [03:09] | But if you really, really want to meet somebody, | 如果你真的特别想找对象 |
| [03:12] | go see my friend. | 去见我朋友吧 |
| [03:14] | “Ida Pearlstein, matchmaker”. | 艾达·佩尔斯坦 媒婆 |
| [03:19] | I could make a lot of trite musical theatre references right now. | 我现在就可以引用一堆老掉牙的音乐剧里的情节 |
| [03:23] | But I won’t. | 不过我不会那么做 |
| [03:24] | Your friends are freaks, ma. | 你的朋友都是怪物 妈 |
| [03:25] | I’m not going to be set up by some old yenta. | 我才不要那些老长舌妇来安排我相亲 |
| [03:27] | Michael… | 迈克 |
| [03:31] | See those lovebirds over there? | 看见那边那对情侣了吗 |
| [03:33] | Ida fixed them up. | 艾达牵的线 |
| [03:34] | They’re celebrating their third. | 他们在庆祝三周年 |
| [03:35] | Don’t they look happy? | 他们看起来很幸福不是吗 |
| [03:36] | Or heavily medicated. | 或者是被下了很多药 |
| [03:38] | Cheer! | 干杯 |
| [03:39] | Now I say try Adam and Steve Internet Dating. | 要我说 试试「亚当和斯蒂夫网络约会」 |
| [03:45] | See what you’re getting before you get it, you know. | 让你在正式约会之前先深入了解对方 |
| [03:48] | Weed out the unfuckables. | 淘汰掉歪瓜裂枣 |
| [03:49] | Dating services? | 相亲网站 |
| [03:51] | Matchmakers? | 媒婆 |
| [03:53] | It’s all bullshit. | 全都是扯淡 |
| [03:54] | The next guy that walks through that door | 下一个进门的男人 |
| [03:56] | is the man I’m going to live with for the rest of my life. | 就是和我终身在一起的人 |
| [04:02] | Oh, Michael, | 迈克 |
| [04:04] | there you are. | 可找着你了 |
| [04:05] | Rent cheque’s due today, sweetie. | 今天要交房租 亲爱的 |
| [04:11] | Adam and Steve. Adam and Steve. | 亚当和斯蒂夫 亚当和斯蒂夫 |
| [04:21] | Up for another go? | 打算再来一次吗 |
| [04:23] | Things are tight. | 没时间 |
| [04:26] | When can I see you again? | 我们什么时候能再见面 |
| [04:27] | The store policy, uh, | 本店政策是 |
| [04:28] | no deposit… | 不接受预订 |
| [04:30] | no return. | 不退货 |
| [04:32] | Then… | 那么… |
| [04:33] | I’ll just have to take what I can get. | 我只能逮什么要什么了 |
| [04:36] | You don’t get that. | 你得不到我的吻 |
| [04:37] | Oh, let me guess. | 我猜猜 |
| [04:38] | A boyfriend? | 有男朋友吗 |
| [04:42] | Thought so. | 我想也是 |
| [04:45] | I was in one of those arrangements once. | 我曾经也跟爱人定了些规矩 |
| [04:50] | Problem is… | 问题在于 |
| [04:51] | you leave your door open, | 你把门敞开着 |
| [04:52] | and you never know who’s gonna come in… | 你永远不知道谁会进来 |
| [04:55] | or out. | 或是离开 |
| [04:57] | Do you mind taking the stairs? | 介意走楼梯吗 |
| [04:59] | Cutting it a little close, aren’t you? | 时间排得也太紧了吧 |
| [05:03] | We’re here. | 我们回来了 |
| [05:04] | And not a moment too soon. | 时间刚刚好 |
| [05:06] | You can’t believe the sales they were having. | 你绝对想不到降价大促销有多夸张 |
| [05:19] | Looks like you picked up a few things. | 看来你们买了不少货回来啊 |
| [05:21] | You too. | 你也享受了”好货”啊 |
| [05:22] | I just sold a house. | 我刚卖出去一栋房子 |
| [05:24] | So, I decided to splurge, | 所以 我决定挥霍一把 |
| [05:25] | buy my son some new clothes. | 给我儿子买些新衣服 |
| [05:28] | I’m way too old to go shopping with my mother. | 我已经过了陪老妈逛街的年龄了 |
| [05:30] | Not when she’s paying. | 她付钱的话就另说了 |
| [05:35] | I hope you remembered to buy him some rubbers… | 希望你给他买了些橡胶[避孕套]… |
| [05:40] | Uh, for those rainy days. | 我是说 橡胶雨靴 |
| [05:43] | Look, you can wear this to Daphne’s party. | 看 你可以穿这个去达芙妮的派对 |
| [05:45] | Nah. Not going to the hetero-hop | 不要 我可不想去参加 |
| [05:47] | with a bunch of beer-chugging breeders. | 一群直男狂灌啤酒的傻逼派对 |
| [05:50] | Justin, you’ve got to get out there, | 贾斯汀 你总得出去玩玩 |
| [05:51] | and meet new friends your own age. | 认识一些同龄的朋友吧 |
| [05:53] | Nothing personal. | 我不是针对你 |
| [05:54] | Oh no, I agree. | 没事 我也同意 |
| [05:57] | Youth should be savoured. | 就该尽享青春年华才对 |
| [06:00] | I met his dad in junior year, but… | 我和他爸是大三认识的 不过 |
| [06:01] | believe me, before that, I did some… | 相信我 遇见他之前 我做了一些 |
| [06:04] | pretty… wild things. | 相当疯狂的事 |
| [06:08] | Uh, it runs in the family. | 有其母必有其子嘛 |
| [06:11] | Okay, I’ve got to pick up your sister. | 好了 我得去接你妹妹了 |
| [06:13] | Sweetheart, college is going to be | 宝贝 大学会成为你一生之中 |
| [06:15] | the best time of your life. | 最美好的时光 |
| [06:18] | I’m just… I’m so excited for you. | 我真为你高兴 |
| [06:22] | So am I. | 我也是 |
| [06:24] | – Bye. – Bye. | -再见 -再见 |
| [06:33] | – How was he? – Not bad. | -他怎么样 -还行 |
| [06:37] | What did he look like? | 他的外貌是什么样的 |
| [06:39] | Guess. | 猜猜 |
| [06:47] | 6’2″… | 1.88米 |
| [06:49] | 175, black hair, brown eyes… | 175磅 黑发 棕色眼睛 |
| [06:54] | smouldering good looks. | 超级英俊 |
| [06:56] | That’s very good. | 猜得很准嘛 |
| [07:00] | What’d you do? | 你做了什么 |
| [07:02] | You fucked him? You suck him? Tell me. | 你操了他吗 你给他口交了吗 告诉我 |
| [07:04] | Why don’t I just show you? | 不如我给你演示一遍吧 |
| [07:07] | Hup, two, soldier. Bombs away! | 前进 士兵 准备发射炮弹 |
| [07:11] | Ready… | 准备 |
| [07:13] | Aim… | 瞄准 |
| [07:15] | Fire! | 开火 |
| [07:23] | Bravo! | 棒极了 |
| [07:26] | Fetch Dixon delivers another | 费奇·迪克逊又为大家呈现了 |
| [07:27] | stunning display of manpower. | 一场雄性力量爆棚的表演 |
| [07:30] | I’ll take your guns. | 把你的枪给我吧 |
| [07:31] | My fans expect me to give it my all. | 我的粉丝希望我”倾囊出击” |
| [07:34] | I do have a reputation to uphold. | 我得”坚”决维护自己的名声 |
| [07:37] | And judging from all your cards and letters, | 从你收到的卡片和信件来看 |
| [07:40] | they love to watch you uphold it. | 他们喜欢看你”坚挺”到底 |
| [07:48] | “Dear Fetch, | “亲爱的费奇 |
| [07:50] | I am sending you this as a token of my affection. | 谨以此物代表我对你的爱慕之情 |
| [07:54] | Please think of me when you use it.” | 请你使用它的时候务必想着我” |
| [08:02] | “Dear Fetch, | “亲爱的费奇 |
| [08:03] | could you wear this to the gym, | 你是否能穿着这个去健身房 |
| [08:04] | then pop it back into the self-addressed, | 然后用这个写好地址 |
| [08:07] | stamped… envelope.” | 贴好邮票的信封 寄回给我” |
| [08:09] | Hi. Get a life. | 嗨 麻烦你拥有自己的生活 |
| [08:10] | – Okay. All right, let’s… – Wait. Wait. | -我还是拿走 -等等 |
| [08:12] | – Wait, wait, wait, wait. – What? | -等一下 -怎么了 |
| [08:19] | Oh, my god! | 我的天啊 |
| [08:21] | Teddy, look. | 泰迪 看啊 |
| [08:24] | It’s exquisite. | 太精美了 |
| [08:26] | It must have cost a fortune. | 一定贵死了 |
| [08:27] | Well, here’s a card. | 有张卡片 |
| [08:29] | “You are a beacon of light in the sordid gloom of cyberspace. | “你是这肮脏昏暗的网络世界中的明灯 |
| [08:33] | Fond admiration… | 深深的仰慕 |
| [08:36] | Your secret admirer.” | 你的神秘爱慕者” |
| [08:40] | My secret admirer. I… | 我的神秘爱慕者 我… |
| [08:42] | All my life, I’ve… I’ve wanted a… secret admirer. | 我这辈子一直想要一个神秘的爱慕者 |
| [08:45] | Here. Here, here, help me put it on. | 来 帮我戴上 |
| [08:46] | You’re not going to keep it? | 你不是要收下它吧 |
| [08:48] | I… it’s gold! | 我…这可是块金表 |
| [08:50] | What queen doesn’t accept gold? | 哪个”女王”会拒绝金子 |
| [08:52] | Uh, one whose loyal subjects send him giant dildoes, | 一个被忠心的臣民们寄来巨型假鸡巴 |
| [08:55] | and want to sniff his jock-strap. | 或是想闻她的护裆的女王 |
| [08:57] | They’re lunatics, Emmett. | 他们是疯子 艾美特 |
| [08:59] | If you let them into your life, | 如果你让他们进入你的生活 |
| [09:00] | they’re going to think they’re your friends, | 他们就会以你的朋友自居 |
| [09:02] | and they’re going to expect you to be theirs, | 他们就会想要彻底拥有你 |
| [09:03] | and you’ll never be rid of them, so… | 这样你永远都无法摆脱他们 所以… |
| [09:06] | Come on. | 拿过来 |
| [09:07] | But it’s so shiny… | 可是这个很闪 |
| [09:10] | and pretty. | 很漂亮 |
| [09:11] | Take it off. | 摘掉 |
| [09:12] | – I don’t want to. – Emmett! | -我不想摘掉 -艾美特 |
| [09:15] | All right. | 好啦 |
| [09:18] | Uh, come on. | 快给我 |
| [09:20] | Give it. | 给我 |
| [09:23] | Remember, everything in this life | 记住 人生中的任何东西 |
| [09:26] | comes with strings attached. Okay? | 都是有附加条件的 明白吗 |
| [09:29] | Even little, white, satin ones. I’m sorry. | 哪怕是用这小小的白丝带系着的 对不起 |
| [09:54] | Okay. And we’re rolling. | 好了 开拍 |
| [09:56] | Hi, I’m Mike. Uh, I’m just a fun guy, | 大家好 我叫迈克 一个有趣的人 |
| [09:58] | and I’d love to meet another fun guy, | 想认识另一个有趣的人 |
| [10:00] | so call me if you’re looking for some fun. | 如果你想过有趣的生活 给我打电话 |
| [10:04] | Let’s try it again, but this time, | 再来一次 这一次 |
| [10:06] | let’s have a little less “Fun”. | 不要说那么多”有趣” |
| [10:10] | Less fun. | 不要太有趣 |
| [10:16] | Hey, dudes, it’s Mike. | 嗨 老兄 我是迈克 |
| [10:19] | I’m into good times, | 我喜欢好时光 |
| [10:20] | good friends, you know, the good life. | 好朋友 还有好生活 |
| [10:23] | Call me. | 打给我 |
| [10:24] | Is that better? | 这次好点了吗 |
| [10:25] | For a beer commercial, yeah. Um, but, uh… | 如果是啤酒广告 那还不错 不过 |
| [10:28] | Let’s try it again, and this time, | 再试一次 这一次 |
| [10:30] | let’s try to be more… I don’t know, personal. | 多加点 跟个人有关的事 |
| [10:38] | I never knew my father. | 我一直不知道我父亲是个怎样的人 |
| [10:40] | He was killed in Vietnam two weeks after I was born, | 在我出生两周后 他就在越南遇害 |
| [10:42] | but somehow we managed to survive. | 但是我们努力生存了下来 |
| [10:45] | I dropped out of community college, | 我从社区大学退学后 |
| [10:47] | and, uh, I went to work at the Big Q mart. | 曾在大同超市工作 |
| [10:49] | That’s when my uncle Vic came to live with us. | 那时候我的维克舅舅来和我们一起生活 |
| [10:51] | He was dying of AIDS. | 他患了艾滋 命将不久 |
| [10:52] | Okay, uh, thanks for sharing, but, uh… | 停 谢谢分享 但是 |
| [10:54] | you’re looking for a date, not a therapist, all right? | 你是要找对象 不是心理医生 好吗 |
| [10:56] | So we’ve got time for one more, | 我们还有时间再试一次 |
| [10:58] | so put a more positive spin on it. | 多说点积极的东西 |
| [11:05] | Hi, I’m Michael. I’m 29. | 嗨 我是迈克 今年29岁 |
| [11:06] | Honest, sincere, romantic, with my own business. | 诚实 真诚 浪漫 有自己的生意 |
| [11:10] | I like… working out, dancing, going to clubs. | 我喜欢健身 跳舞 逛夜店 |
| [11:15] | I have a great group of friends. I love them to death, | 我有一群很好的朋友 我非常爱他们 |
| [11:17] | but I’m still looking for that certain someone who… | 但是我一直还在寻找那个对的人 |
| [11:20] | who knows that | 一个可以看到 |
| [11:20] | underneath that mild-mannered appearance… | 在我温和的外表之下 |
| [11:25] | beats the heart of a superhero. | 跳动着一颗超级英雄之心的人 |
| [11:31] | I’m sorry, what was that? | 抱歉 你刚刚说什么 |
| [11:59] | I swear you can’t tell the difference. | 我发誓你看不出来区别 |
| [12:04] | Well, as long as we’re comparing… | 既然是要比较… |
| [12:06] | Holy shit! | 我的天 |
| [12:08] | Is that real gold? | 这是真金的吗 |
| [12:10] | I almost broke a tooth testing. | 我验证真假时差点把牙咬碎了 |
| [12:13] | My secret admirer sent it to me. | 我的神秘爱慕者送我的 |
| [12:16] | Who do you think it is? | 你觉得会是谁 |
| [12:18] | I know who I’d like it to be. | 我知道我希望他是什么样的人 |
| [12:20] | A dashing, young prince, | 一个时髦又年轻的白马王子 |
| [12:22] | too… shy at first to reveal he has a crush on me. | 一开始还不好意思承认对我有意思 |
| [12:26] | But he appears and… | 但他突然出现 |
| [12:27] | whisks me off to his palace. | 把我带进他的宫殿 |
| [12:29] | Oh, where you live happily ever after. | 从此你们幸福地生活在一起 |
| [12:34] | I know. It’s… | 我懂的 这… |
| [12:35] | highly unrealistic. | 超级不现实 |
| [12:38] | My friends would probably laugh if they heard me. | 我那些朋友们要是听到了可能都会笑话我 |
| [12:40] | Oh, what do they know about love, honey? Huh. | 他们懂什么爱情 亲爱的 |
| [12:43] | Most of them are too busy chasing their hard-ons | 他们大部分人都忙于追求自己的欲望 |
| [12:45] | to listen to their heart. | 却忘了听听自己的心声 |
| [12:47] | Still I… have this dream… of… perfection. | 我却还做着这个完美的梦 |
| [12:53] | So I… keep on looking… | 所以我还在不停地寻找 |
| [12:57] | hoping against hope that I’ll find it. | 哪怕希望渺茫 也希望能美梦成真 |
| [13:00] | Well, it’s an admirable dream, honey. | 这是个令人钦佩的梦 亲爱的 |
| [13:03] | But I gotta tell you, em, in most cases, | 不过我得告诉你 大多数情况下 |
| [13:05] | that kind of love only happens in the movies, | 那种爱情只会发生在电影里 |
| [13:08] | and even then, only to Audrey Hepburn. | 甚至只发生在奥黛丽·赫本身上 |
| [13:11] | Real love, when it comes, doesn’t look anything like what you expect. | 现实生活中的爱情 和你预期的完全不一样 |
| [13:16] | Pardon me. | 打扰一下 |
| [13:19] | Yes? | 什么事 |
| [13:20] | You’re Fetch, are you not? | 你是费奇 对吧 |
| [13:23] | That’s right. | 我就是 |
| [13:25] | I’ve been sent to “Fetch” you. | 有人派我来接你 |
| [13:29] | Excuse me. You… | 不好意思 你… |
| [13:31] | You expect me to get into a car with a…a total stranger | 你觉得我会上一个 陌生人的车 |
| [13:34] | and… and… and… drive off to god knows where? I… | 再说…天知道你会开到哪儿去 我 |
| [13:38] | Sorry, but my mother taught me better. | 抱歉 但是我妈妈教过我要注意安全 |
| [13:43] | Don’t look at me. I’m not his mother. | 别看我 我不是他妈 |
| [13:46] | My employer is expecting you. | 我老板在等你 |
| [13:48] | And who… who exactly is your employer? | 你老板到底是谁 |
| [13:51] | You know he’s gotta tell you he’s not at liberty to say. | 他肯定会告诉你他不能说 |
| [13:55] | I’m not at liberty to say. | 我不能说 |
| [14:03] | What have you gotta do the rest of the day? | 今天你还有什么事情要做吗 |
| [14:05] | Wash out your undies? | 洗内裤吗 |
| [14:08] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:22] | Hi, I’m Michael. I’m 29, | 嗨 我是迈克 今年29岁 |
| [14:23] | honest, sincere, romantic. | 诚实 真诚 浪漫 |
| [14:26] | I love dancing, going to the movies, working out. | 我喜欢跳舞 看电影 健身 |
| [14:31] | I-I got a great group of friends. I love ’em to death, | 我有一群很好的朋友 我非常爱他们 |
| [14:34] | but I’m still looking for that special someone. | 但是我一直还在寻找那个对的人 |
| [14:37] | So if you’re looking to have some fun, call me. | 如果你想过有趣的生活 给我打电话 |
| [14:42] | Well? | 怎么样 |
| [14:44] | You have excellent posture. | 你的姿势很好 |
| [14:46] | Nice shirt. | 衬衫不错 |
| [14:47] | You’re absolutely adorable. | 你太可爱了 |
| [14:49] | It’s pathetic. | 真可悲 |
| [14:51] | At least somebody’s honest. | 至少有人说了句真话 |
| [14:55] | Asshole. | 混蛋 |
| [14:56] | What a complete fucking waste of time and money. | 真他妈的浪费时间和金钱 |
| [14:58] | Listen, Mikey, you have to sell yourself. | 听着 小迈 你得推销你自己 |
| [15:00] | You’re… you’re no different than toothpaste or shampoo. | 就像是推销牙膏和洗发水一样 |
| [15:03] | People want sexy. | 人们要的是性感 |
| [15:05] | – They want hot. – He’s right. | -他们要的是热辣劲爆 -他说得对 |
| [15:07] | I think I’ll re-heat this pizza. | 我去”热”一下披萨 |
| [15:10] | So what am I supposed to do? | 那我该怎么做 |
| [15:12] | Don’t move. | 别动 |
| [15:26] | Let’s see. | 我们来看看文案 |
| [15:28] | – “Nice guy…” – Make that “A hot guy”. | -“好男人” -换成”性感男人” |
| [15:30] | “Well-rounded…” | “多才多艺” |
| [15:31] | Could you make that “Well-hung”? | 换成”天生大器” |
| [15:33] | “With a spirit of adventure.” | “富有冒险精神” |
| [15:35] | “Is into any scene.” | “无所不好” |
| [15:36] | Can’t say that. | 别那么写 |
| [15:37] | Shut up and show me some skin. | 闭嘴 露点肉 |
| [15:39] | “If you’re giving, with a great sense of humour, | “如果你慷慨大方 有幽默感 |
| [15:43] | big heart…” | 心胸宽广…” |
| [15:43] | “If you like to give it…” | “如果你喜欢做攻…” |
| [15:45] | “Have a great body…” | “身材健美” |
| [15:46] | “and a big cock…” | “有一根大鸡巴” |
| [15:48] | “I want to hear from you.” | “静候联系” |
| [15:50] | Perfect. | 完美 |
| [16:12] | That’s the one. | 就要这个效果 |
| [16:17] | – I’d date me. – So would I. | -我愿意约我自己 -我也愿意 |
| [16:20] | Theoretically speaking. | 理论上说而已 |
| [16:21] | Well, it’s not exactly what I wrote. | 这个文案跟我写的不一样啊 |
| [16:23] | Writers, complaining every time you change a fucking word. | 该死的文案写手 每次换个词 他们都要抱怨 |
| [16:27] | You’ll be beating them off with a stick. | 到时候有一堆人找你 你要拿棍子赶 |
| [16:29] | Hopefully you won’t need a stick. | 但愿你不必使用棍子 |
| [16:31] | So how does it feel, Mikey, | 感觉怎么样 小迈 |
| [16:33] | to be the hottest guy on the Internet? | 作为网上最性感的男人 |
| [16:38] | Well, in the modern re-telling, | 在现代版的童话故事里 |
| [16:41] | the coach would be a limo, | 四轮马车对应的是豪华轿车 |
| [16:43] | and the liveried footman would, uh, | 穿制服的男仆 |
| [16:45] | would be the driver, | 对应的就是司机 |
| [16:47] | and Cinderella would, of course, | 灰姑娘对应的当然就是 |
| [16:49] | be a fag rather than a woman, | 基佬 而不是女人 |
| [16:50] | since no self-respecting woman would let herself | 因为有自尊的女人绝对不会 |
| [16:52] | be enticed to a strange man’s home | 受到珠宝 豪车 香槟和鱼子酱的诱惑 |
| [16:53] | with jewelry, a limo, champagne and caviar… | 跑到陌生男人的家里去 |
| [16:57] | Thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
| [17:10] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
| [17:25] | Something tells me I’m not in Kansas anymore. | 感觉我已经不是在堪萨斯了 |
| [17:28] | In fact, something tells me I’m not in Pittsburgh anymore. | 确切地说 感觉我已经不是在匹兹堡了 |
| [17:32] | Fetch? | 费奇 |
| [17:42] | It’s him. | 就是他 |
| [17:44] | Uh, your, uh, your… your majesty. | 陛…陛下 |
| [17:48] | Your… grace, your, uh… | 大人 |
| [17:51] | gorgeousness, I, uh… | 阁下 我… |
| [17:54] | I received the bracelet… | 我收到了手镯 |
| [17:56] | And I’m yours. | 我完全属于你了 |
| [17:57] | I’m the butler, sir. | 我是管家 先生 |
| [18:02] | This way. | 这边请 |
| [18:03] | Okay. Yeah. Right. | 好 好的 |
| [18:08] | Jesus, if he’s the butler… | 老天 如果他是管家… |
| [18:13] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [18:19] | Oh… my… God! | 我的 天呐 |
| [18:25] | If…they…could… see me now that little gang of mine… | 如果我的那帮朋友 能看到我现在的样子 |
| [18:35] | No, no, no. Don’t do that. No. No. | 不 别这么做 不要 |
| [18:37] | This is, uh, no time to be a show-tune queen. | 现在不是当音乐剧天后的时间 |
| [18:39] | This is, uh… it’s much more… “Masterpiece theatre”. | 这更像是 《名著剧院》里的场景 |
| [18:44] | Yes. | 没错 |
| [18:45] | Your highness. Yes. | 殿下 你好 |
| [18:47] | How very kind of you to invite me. | 十分感谢你的邀请 |
| [18:49] | I love what you’ve done with the place. Yes. | 我喜欢这里的装修 |
| [18:53] | Join you by the fire? Oh, I’d be delighted. | 跟你一起围坐在壁炉边吗 我非常乐意 |
| [18:56] | Do you know, | 你知道吗 |
| [18:58] | I’ve always wanted to ask you, is, uh, | 我一直想问你 |
| [18:59] | is Charming your first name or your last? | 白马王子的「白马」二字是你的名还是你的姓 |
| [19:05] | Jesus Christ. Scared me to death. | 老天爷 吓死我了 |
| [19:08] | I didn’t, uh, didn’t know anyone was here. | 我不知道有人在这儿 |
| [19:12] | I’m, uh, I’m Fetch. | 我叫费奇 |
| [19:15] | Waiting for the master. | 在等这里的主人 |
| [19:17] | I’m George Schickel. | 我是乔治·希克 |
| [19:20] | I am the master. | 我就是这里的主人 |
| [19:22] | Y… you… | 你… |
| [19:24] | I see you, uh, received my little… token of esteem. | 我看到你收下了我的一点小心意 |
| [19:27] | Huh? Oh… yeah. | 什么 是的 |
| [19:31] | I was on the internet one day, | 那天我上网了 |
| [19:33] | “surfing” I believe is the word, | “网上冲浪” 这词没错吧 |
| [19:35] | when I came upon you. | 恰好看到了你 |
| [19:37] | Oh, my, my, my. | 我的天 |
| [19:39] | You’re a very talented boy. | 你真是个”天赋异禀”的男孩 |
| [19:42] | Hardly a boy. | 我可不算男孩了 |
| [19:44] | At my age, | 到我这个年纪 |
| [19:45] | everyone’s a boy. | 看谁都是孩子 |
| [19:48] | Now then… | 好了 |
| [19:51] | shall we discuss your fee? | 我们来讨论一下你的收费 |
| [19:53] | Fee? | 收费 |
| [19:54] | Oh, for your… services. | 你的服务费 |
| [19:58] | I have no idea what you people charge, so, um, | 我不太清楚你们的行情 所以 |
| [20:00] | will a thousand suffice? | 一千块够吗 |
| [20:03] | A th… thousand? | 一千块 |
| [20:05] | All right, two. | 好吧 那两千 |
| [20:07] | All right. Three. | 好吧 三千 |
| [20:10] | God, you drive a hard bargain… | 天 你讨价还价可真硬气 |
| [20:13] | So it had better… be hard. | 所以你那玩意儿最好 很硬 |
| [20:19] | Excuse me, Mr. Schickel, | 抱歉 希克先生 |
| [20:21] | but I’m afraid you’ve made a mistake. | 但你恐怕犯了一个错误 |
| [20:24] | I’m not, as you seem to think, | 我不是你以为的那种人 |
| [20:27] | for hire. | 我不卖身 |
| [20:28] | I came here e-expecting… | 我到你这儿来只是以为… |
| [20:31] | Well, it’s… | 算了 |
| [20:32] | It’s not important what I came here expecting, | 我带着什么期待而来并不重要 |
| [20:34] | except to say I didn’t find it. | 只能说我大失所望 |
| [20:38] | Thank you for the, uh, lovely gift… | 感谢你送的美好礼物 |
| [20:42] | and for allowing me a few moments to dream. | 以及给我的短暂美梦 |
| [20:49] | Now, if you’ll excuse me. | 抱歉 我先走了 |
| [21:30] | You want me to fuck you? | 你想让我操你吗 |
| [21:32] | I want you to wash my back. | 我只想让你帮我擦擦背 |
| [21:42] | Better get a move on. | 得快点了 |
| [21:43] | The guys are waiting on us. | 他们在等我们呢 |
| [21:50] | You know maybe you should… | 也许你应该 |
| [21:51] | get some friends your own age. | 去交些同龄的朋友 |
| [21:53] | You sound like my mother. | 你说话跟我妈一样 |
| [21:56] | Well, sometimes your mommy’s right. | 有时候 你妈是对的 |
| [21:59] | I have friends my own age. | 我有同龄朋友呀 |
| [22:02] | You’re my age, emotionally. | 你和我差不多大 心理上 |
| [22:05] | I mean like Daphne. | 我是指像达芙妮那种 |
| [22:09] | I’m not going to her lame-ass party. | 我可不去她那个很烂的派对 |
| [22:10] | Why? You got something better to do? | 为什么 你有更好的事要做吗 |
| [22:12] | Be with you. | 和你待在一起呀 |
| [22:14] | You can always be with me. | 你想什么时候和我待在一起都行 |
| [22:15] | You practically are. | 我们几乎一直黏在一起 |
| [22:19] | What if I meet some horny frat boy? | 要是我遇到一个性感的兄弟会男孩呢 |
| [22:21] | Fuck him for me. | 替我操了他 |
| [22:26] | I just want you to enjoy your youth. | 我只是想让你好好享受青春年华 |
| [22:29] | I certainly have. | 我当然享受过了 |
| [22:46] | 19 guys already. | 已经有19个男人了 |
| [22:47] | He’s not bad. | 他还不错 |
| [22:48] | He’s even better. | 他更棒 |
| [22:52] | Oh my god! He’s perfect. | 我的天 他堪称完美 |
| [22:54] | And he wants to meet you tonight. | 而且他想今晚就见你 |
| [22:59] | I gotta give Brian credit, he can sell anything, | 我不得不佩服布莱恩 他什么都能推销出去 |
| [23:01] | even me. | 就连我也行 |
| [23:03] | Emmett, you wanna see my dream date? | 艾美特 想不想见一见我美梦般的约会对象 |
| [23:04] | Fuck off. | 滚一边去 |
| [23:06] | Who pissed on your parade? | 谁又惹到你了 |
| [23:08] | My secrete admirer. | 我那个神秘的爱慕者 |
| [23:09] | You didn’t. | 你不是吧 |
| [23:12] | I thought we agreed that this wasn’t really a good idea. | 我们不是一致同意这样做不明智吗 |
| [23:15] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [23:16] | But his chauffeur picked me up. | 但是他的司机专程来接我[勾搭我] |
| [23:19] | You did it with his chauffeur? | 你和他的司机操了一次吗 |
| [23:20] | No, sweetie, his chauffeur drove me… to his place… | 没有 亲爱的 他的司机把我载去了他家 |
| [23:26] | which makes Buckingham Palace look like a Winnebago. | 和他家比 白金汉宫就是辆房车 |
| [23:29] | So who is this guy, anyway? | 那个家伙到底是谁 |
| [23:31] | George Schickel. | 乔治·希克 |
| [23:34] | “Schickel’s pickles”? | 希克牌泡菜的那个人吗 |
| [23:36] | “The pickle the people prefer”? | “希克泡菜 备受青睐”的那个吗 |
| [23:37] | Well, he can keep his pickle. | 他还是留着泡菜自己吃吧 |
| [23:40] | It’s like, 300 years old. | 他看起来有300岁 |
| [23:42] | They say he’s worth a fortune. | 据说他是个大富翁 |
| [23:43] | Well, unfortunately for him, | 不幸的是 |
| [23:47] | he finally found something that even his money can’t buy, | 他终于遇到无论花多少钱也买不到的东西了 |
| [23:51] | namely… me. | 也就是 我 |
| [23:53] | He thinks you’re a… | 他以为你是个… |
| [23:54] | A hustler! Can you imagine? Huh! | 男妓 超乎想象吧 |
| [23:57] | – Unbelievable. – The nerve! | -难以置信 -真放肆 |
| [23:59] | I told him, “I am an artist. | 我告诉他 我是一名艺术家 |
| [24:00] | What I do requires concentration, | 我的职业需要全神贯注 |
| [24:03] | dedication, determination… | 全心投入 坚定不移 |
| [24:05] | Don’t forget ejaculation. | 别忘了还有射精 |
| [24:07] | Take my word; it’s a lot harder than it looks. | 相信我 看着容易 做起来难 |
| [24:10] | And if you’re watching, Mr. Schickel, | 如果你正在看 希克先生 |
| [24:13] | what you see is definitely not what you get. | 告诉你 我只可远观 不可亵玩 |
| [24:43] | Uh, Justin? | 贾斯汀 |
| [24:46] | Having a good time? | 玩得开心吗 |
| [24:48] | Can’t you tell? | 你看不出来吗 |
| [24:49] | Yes, well you have to mingle. | 你得融入大家才行 |
| [24:51] | With your happy hetero friends? | 融入你这些快乐的异性恋朋友中吗 |
| [24:53] | Look, if I can deal with the homos at Woody’s, | 如果我能应对伍迪酒吧的那些基佬 |
| [24:55] | you can handle them, hmm? | 你也能搞定他们 不是吗 |
| [24:57] | That’s the problem. | 问题就在这儿 |
| [25:00] | No one to handle. | 没有能搞的 |
| [26:04] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [26:05] | We have to be safe. | 我们应该做好安全措施 |
| [26:08] | Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [26:11] | I come prepared. | 我有准备 |
| [26:15] | Put it on my dick. | 帮我戴在鸡巴上 |
| [26:17] | Just, uh… | 请你 |
| [26:18] | go slowly, okay? | 慢一点好吗 |
| [26:21] | I… | 我 |
| [26:22] | I’ve never… | 我从来没有过… |
| [26:24] | I didn’t think so. | 我刚刚可没看出来 |
| [26:27] | I’ll take it easy. | 我会悠着点 |
| [26:43] | I thought you were going out. | 你不是要出门吗 |
| [26:45] | And miss the Betty Hutton film festival? | 我怎么会错过贝蒂·哈顿电影节 |
| [26:48] | My date is coming over. | 我的约会对象就快到了 |
| [26:51] | So? | 所以呢 |
| [26:51] | He looks really hot. | 他看起来很性感 |
| [26:52] | What if we want to fuck right here on the floor? | 如果我们想在地板上做爱怎么办 |
| [26:54] | I promise not to leave any crumbs. | 我发誓绝不把面包屑掉到地上 |
| [26:58] | And I hate to burst your bubble, baby, | 尽管我不想打碎你的美梦 宝贝 |
| [27:00] | but most of those guys don’t even use their own photos. | 但网上的人大多数根本不用真实的照片 |
| [27:03] | Uh, or else they took it, like, 30 years ago. | 就算用了 也是三十年前的照片 |
| [27:05] | Don’t be so cynical. | 别这么愤世嫉俗 |
| [27:07] | And don’t be surprised when he shows up at the door, | 当一个老头出现在门口的时候 |
| [27:09] | turns out to be some old geezer. | 可别大惊小怪 |
| [27:11] | Look, just ’cause you had a bad experience, | 别因为你有一次不好的经历 |
| [27:13] | doesn’t mean that everyone’s out to get whatever they want | 就认为每个人都只为达目的 |
| [27:16] | by whatever means they can. | 而不择手段 |
| [27:17] | There’s still some honest people in the world. | 世上还是有诚实的人的 |
| [27:24] | You’re right, they all lie. | 你说得对 没一个说实话的 |
| [27:26] | He’s, like, this 300-year-old guy in a red cardigan. | 他穿着件红毛衣 像是有300岁了 |
| [27:30] | Believe that once for me. | 就相信我一次吧 |
| [27:37] | Mr. Schickel, | 希克先生 |
| [27:38] | I do not appreciate being stalked. | 我不喜欢被人跟踪 |
| [27:41] | So kindly remove yourself from my doorway, | 所以麻烦你从我的门前消失 |
| [27:43] | my building, my street | 离开我的房子 离开这条街 |
| [27:44] | and my life. | 离开我的生活 |
| [27:45] | Please, please I… | 等等 我… |
| [27:48] | I’ve gone to a lot of trouble to find you. | 我费尽力气才找到你 |
| [27:50] | Quite unnecessary, I assure you. | 我向你保证这完全没有必要 |
| [27:52] | Oh, no, no, no. I-I was… | 不 不 我… |
| [27:54] | I was just horrified when I realized that I’d made such a… | 当我意识到我对你的认识有误时 |
| [27:58] | really serious miscalculation. | 我真的非常惶恐 |
| [28:00] | A miscalculation is when you can’t balance your checkbook. | 打开支票簿 发现账目不对 才叫有误 |
| [28:04] | – This was… – An insult. | -你那是… -侮辱 |
| [28:06] | I realize that. | 我意识到了 |
| [28:09] | So I have come here to offer you my apologies… | 所以我才到这儿来向你道歉 |
| [28:13] | And, uh… | 以及… |
| [28:15] | And this… | 这个 |
| [28:19] | Because I would still like you to have it. | 我还是希望你能收下它 |
| [28:27] | I don’t accept gifts from fans. | 我不会接受粉丝的礼物 |
| [28:31] | Then have dinner with me. | 那一起吃个晚餐吧 |
| [28:34] | Sorry, I… already… | 不好意思 我已经… |
| [28:36] | Please. | 拜托了 |
| [28:38] | Please? | 拜托了 |
| [28:39] | It would just be a small but… | 我小小的邀请… |
| [28:41] | nevertheless heart-felt expression of my deepest regret, | 只是为了表达心底最深的悔恨与歉意 |
| [28:45] | at having treated you in such a rude | 我那样对你 真的非常无礼 |
| [28:48] | and reprehensible manner. | 绝对应该受到谴责 |
| [28:50] | Well, I… | 我… |
| [28:52] | I don’t think your manner’s that… reprehensible. I… | 我倒不觉得你的行为错到应该被强烈谴责 我… |
| [29:01] | Oh, all right. | 好吧 |
| [29:03] | Go… rev up the carriage, Prince Charming, I’ll… | 好吧 去准备好马车吧 白马王子 我得… |
| [29:07] | get my slippers. | 先穿上拖鞋 |
| [29:19] | Uh, excuse me, | 打扰了 |
| [29:21] | I’m looking for Michael. | 我是来找迈克的 |
| [29:22] | Oh my god, you, uh… | 我的天 你… |
| [29:24] | You really are a dream. | 你还真是个美梦般的尤物 |
| [29:26] | So… Michael, | 所以…迈克 |
| [29:28] | your date’s here. | 你的约会对象来了 |
| [29:31] | Where were you 10 seconds ago | 你要是早来10秒钟 |
| [29:32] | when I was still available? | 我还可以接受追求者 |
| [29:39] | Oh, um, come in. | 请进吧 |
| [29:40] | Thanks. | 多谢 |
| [29:47] | I thought we’d, uh, do maybe pizza and a movie. | 我想我们先吃点比萨 看看电影 |
| [29:49] | Or, uh, tex-mex and dancing. | 或者来份美式墨西哥菜 再跳舞 |
| [29:51] | Or we could just stay here and fuck our brains out. | 要不我们现在就大干一场吧 |
| [29:54] | Uh, that one. | 就选这个 |
| [29:55] | You negative? | 你是阴性的吗 |
| [29:56] | You? | 你呢 |
| [30:07] | What was yours like? Your first time? | 你的第一次 是什么样的 |
| [30:13] | I saw him, I knew right away he was the one. | 我第一眼看到他 心里就确定是他了 |
| [30:16] | – Were you scared? – Shitless! | -害怕吗 -怕得要死 |
| [30:20] | We went back to his place. I swear… | 接着我们一起去了他家 我发誓 |
| [30:23] | I couldn’t speak my heart was pounding so hard. | 当时我紧张得心脏都要跳出来了 |
| [30:26] | I let him fuck me though. | 不过我还是让他操我了 |
| [30:30] | I still remember feeling him inside me… | 我至今还记得他在我身体里的感觉 |
| [30:33] | seeing his face when he came… | 看着他高潮时的表情 |
| [30:36] | wanting it to go on forever. | 希望那一刻能持续到永远 |
| [30:38] | I know what you mean. | 我明白你的意思 |
| [30:39] | We need our coats. | 我们的外套在里面 |
| [30:41] | Fuck off! | 滚开 |
| [30:46] | God, I hate these stupid parties. | 天啊 我好讨厌这种傻兮兮的派对 |
| [30:48] | Ah, me too. | 我也是 |
| [30:50] | I wouldn’t have come, but if I didn’t, | 我本来不想来的 可我要是不来 |
| [30:52] | my friend Daphne would never speak to me again. | 我朋友达芙妮就再也不理我了 |
| [30:54] | Well, I usually end up standing in the corner | 我通常站在角落里 |
| [30:56] | watching the dudes and babes and… | 看着那些男人和女人 |
| [30:59] | thinking how I should have stayed home and watched MTV. | 想着还不如在家看电视 |
| [31:03] | Why don’t you go to clubs and bars? | 你怎么不去夜店和酒吧 |
| [31:06] | You’d meet lots of guys there. | 你会认识很多男人的 |
| [31:12] | I don’t want to meet a lot of guys. | 我不想认识很多男人 |
| [31:15] | I want to meet just one, | 我只想认识一个男人 |
| [31:17] | that I can be with… | 可以和我在一起的那个 |
| [31:20] | just the two of us. | 享受二人世界 |
| [31:24] | Things don’t exactly work out that way. | 真实情况往往不会那样 |
| [31:27] | They can if you want them to. | 只要努力 也可以实现的 |
| [31:31] | Come on! | 快开门 |
| [31:32] | I guess we better get dressed. | 我们还是快点穿上衣服吧 |
| [31:38] | Hurry up! | 快点 |
| [31:40] | Come back here. | 过来 |
| [31:46] | Come on. | 快开门 |
| [31:53] | I love… Burger Queen! | 我爱死汉堡王后了 |
| [31:57] | But you know, for me… | 但是 对我来说 |
| [32:00] | what makes it a royal treat | 它之所以这么好吃 |
| [32:01] | is not the all-meat patty | 不是因为它的肉饼 |
| [32:03] | or the special bun. | 也不是特制面包 |
| [32:05] | It’s the pickles. | 而是其中的泡菜 |
| [32:07] | I relish the compliment. | 我喜欢你的恭维 |
| [32:10] | And they’re… they’re… they are mine, you know. | 那些用的是我的泡菜 |
| [32:13] | – Oh yeah? – Oh yeah. | -真的吗 -是啊 |
| [32:15] | I’m a pickle-lover from way back. | 我从小就喜欢吃泡菜 |
| [32:17] | My great aunt Lulah back in Hazelhurst, Mississippi, | 我那位住在密西西比州哈泽赫斯的露拉阿姨 |
| [32:20] | she used to make ’em. | 以前经常自己做泡菜 |
| [32:22] | She had a vat right out there on her kitchen porch. | 她厨房的阳台放着一口大缸 |
| [32:24] | I’d go over there every day after school, | 我每天放学都会去她家 |
| [32:27] | and we’d sit out back and… | 我们就坐在那儿 |
| [32:29] | gab and suck on those big old things. | 一边聊天一边吃泡菜 |
| [32:33] | Which was probably more significant to later stages | 或许这段经历比我以为的 |
| [32:35] | of my psycho-sexual development than I care to go into. | 要更深地影响了我后来的性心理的发展 |
| [32:42] | You had a really colourful family. | 你真是拥有各式各样的家人啊 |
| [32:44] | I prefer to think of them as lunatics. | 我倒觉得他们都是疯子 |
| [32:47] | Except for aunt Lulah, | 除了露拉阿姨 |
| [32:48] | who was supposed to be the crazy one. | 她在别人眼中是个疯子 |
| [32:51] | She was my only friend. | 但她是我唯一的朋友 |
| [32:53] | The rest of them… | 其他家人… |
| [32:55] | wanted nothing to do with the… the local sissy boy. | 都不想和我这个 当地的娘娘腔扯上关系 |
| [32:59] | Must have been pretty lonely. | 你一定过得很孤单 |
| [33:03] | Didn’t stop me from being who I wanted to be. | 但这并没有阻止我成为我想成为的人 |
| [33:06] | Fuck ’em all! | 去他们的吧 |
| [33:07] | That was my motto. | 那曾是我的座右铭 |
| [33:09] | Still is. | 现在也是 |
| [33:14] | I admire your courage. | 我很欣赏你的勇气 |
| [33:17] | I wish I’d had it. | 真希望我当年也有这样的勇气 |
| [33:20] | Instead I chose to… live a lie, | 但我却选择活在谎言之中 |
| [33:23] | subjugating my freedom, | 放弃自己的自由 |
| [33:24] | my desires to the family fortune. | 就为了得到庞大的家产 |
| [33:28] | I even allowed them to… | 我甚至同意他们安排我… |
| [33:30] | marry me off to this meat-packing heiress | 迎娶那位肉联厂的女继承人 |
| [33:32] | so that we could make beautiful sandwiches together. | 只为一起做出美味的三明治 |
| [33:35] | Oh, it was a perfect merger… | 那是一次完美的合并 |
| [33:38] | till one day about… five years ago, she came home and… | 直到大约五年前的某一天 她回到家 |
| [33:43] | caught me giving the gardener a blow job | 抓到我在给园丁口交 |
| [33:44] | right there in the middle of her prize-winning rose garden. | 就在她那得过奖的玫瑰园中间 |
| [33:47] | Why, George… | 天呐 乔治 |
| [33:49] | you rake. | 你可真放荡 |
| [33:51] | French-fry? | 要薯条吗 |
| [33:53] | Well it wasn’t… as if I were cheating on her. | 其实算不上是我背叛她 |
| [33:56] | I mean, we hadn’t had sex since 1972. | 我们从1972年起就没有性生活了 |
| [33:59] | But she, uh, sued me for millions. | 但她起诉我离婚 分到几百万 |
| [34:04] | Turned the children against me. | 让孩子们也仇视我 |
| [34:06] | Needless to say, I… | 更不用说 我… |
| [34:07] | became a social pariah. | 在社交圈中也被除名了 |
| [34:11] | At least you were… | 不过至少你… |
| [34:12] | finally free to be yourself. | 得到了自由 可以做真实的自己 |
| [34:16] | Yeah, yeah, to be alone, friendless… | 是啊 独身一人 没有朋友 |
| [34:19] | and buying companionship over the Internet. | 只能在网上买个伴儿 |
| [34:27] | Fuck ’em all! | 去他们的吧 |
| [34:33] | Oh, man. | 天呐 |
| [34:37] | You are perfect. | 你太完美了 |
| [34:39] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [34:41] | But… I wasn’t always. | 不过 我并非一直很完美 |
| [34:44] | I used to weigh 350. I was bald. | 我以前是个350磅重的胖子 秃头 |
| [34:46] | I had hideous, coarse body hair all over | 我浑身都是浓密恶心的体毛 |
| [34:48] | my back, my shoulders, my stomach. | 背上 肩膀和肚子上全都是 |
| [34:50] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [34:51] | Not to mention no chin. Huge honker, zero cheekbones. | 更别提根本看不到我的下巴 大鼻子 看不到颧骨 |
| [34:55] | Definitely not a pretty sight. | 跟好看一点不沾边 |
| [34:56] | – But you look so… – It all started with liposuction. | -但你看上去如此… -开始是抽脂 |
| [34:59] | Then a series of operations to tighten my skin. | 然后是一系列的紧肤手术 |
| [35:01] | Next, laser hair removal, everywhere except my pubes, | 再用激光除掉所有的体毛 除了阴毛 |
| [35:04] | – which, of course, I trim. – Of course. | -当然我会经常修剪 -那当然了 |
| [35:06] | After that hair transplantation, | 在那之后 做了植发 |
| [35:07] | scalp reduction, nose job, | 头皮缩减术 隆鼻 |
| [35:09] | cheek and chin implants. | 下巴和颧骨植入假体 |
| [35:11] | That must have been expensive. | 一定花了不少钱 |
| [35:12] | Oh, a hundred thou, give or take, | 大约十万块左右 |
| [35:14] | my folks have money. | 我父母挺有钱的 |
| [35:15] | Now I work out with a trainer, Adolph, | 现在跟着健身教练锻炼 他叫阿道夫 |
| [35:18] | five hours a day, six days a week, | 每周去6天 每天5个钟头 |
| [35:20] | it’s brutal but, gotta maintain. | 很折磨人 但必须坚持 |
| [35:23] | And food combining, very important. | 另外膳食搭配也很重要 |
| [35:26] | You can eat proteins with vegetables | 蛋白质和蔬菜可以一起吃 |
| [35:28] | or carbs with vegetables, | 碳水化合物和蔬菜也可以 |
| [35:29] | but never, never, never… | 但是绝对 绝对 绝对 |
| [35:30] | proteins with carbs. | 不能同时吃蛋白质和碳水化合物 |
| [35:31] | Got it. | 明白了 |
| [35:32] | Supplements are essential. | 营养补充剂也很重要 |
| [35:34] | You want some Haagen-Dazs? | 要吃点哈根达斯吗 |
| [35:37] | Have you been listening? | 你没听到我刚才说什么吗 |
| [35:40] | You know… | 其实 |
| [35:43] | you could use a little improving yourself… | 你也可以提升一下自己 |
| [35:46] | Laser hair removal on your chest, | 比如激光除胸毛 |
| [35:48] | pec implants. | 做个胸肌植入 |
| [35:50] | The bridge of your nose is definitely… it’s too wide. | 你的鼻梁也实在宽了点 |
| [35:53] | A-a-and nothing personal but… | 我不是针对你 但是… |
| [35:56] | you might want to consider a… a penile extension. | 你可以考虑做个阴茎延长术 |
| [35:59] | Thanks for the tip. | 多谢指点 |
| [36:22] | You’re finally up. | 你终于起来了 |
| [36:25] | What time is it? | 几点了 |
| [36:26] | It’s time to take care of your morning hard-on, | 是解决你晨勃的时间了 |
| [36:28] | although it’s afternoon. | 虽然现在已经是下午了 |
| [36:32] | Somebody got home late last night. | 某人昨晚很晚才回来 |
| [36:35] | 2:58, just under the wire. | 凌晨2:58 刚好踩着点回来 |
| [36:38] | Daphne must have had some kick-ass party. | 看来达芙妮的派对一定很棒 |
| [36:42] | Yeah, it was all right. | 是啊 就还行而已 |
| [36:45] | My nose tells me it was better than all right. | 我的鼻子告诉我绝对不止”就还行而已” |
| [36:50] | I smell a varsity lacrosse player. | 我闻到大学曲棍球队队员的味道了 |
| [36:54] | You’re way off. | 你错得离谱 |
| [36:57] | Hold on. | 慢着 |
| [37:01] | Hm, it’s coming. | 我闻出来了 |
| [37:05] | A nice, tight computer nerd. | 斯文紧致的宅男 |
| [37:08] | You’re getting warmer. | 你烧糊涂了吧 |
| [37:11] | A scent of innocence. | 单纯的味道 |
| [37:13] | A… a virgin. | 是处男吧 |
| [37:16] | A lucky guess. | 侥幸猜对了 |
| [37:26] | You kissed him. | 你吻了他 |
| [37:33] | I think I’ll take a shower. | 我先去洗个澡 |
| [37:43] | The face was great. The body was great. | 无瑕的脸蛋 完美的身材 |
| [37:45] | The sex was great. | 超爽的性爱 |
| [37:47] | And then he started talking. | 然后他开始长篇大论 |
| [37:48] | So let me get this straight. | 我理清楚一下 |
| [37:49] | You had sex on a date before you even had a conversation? | 你们二话没说就开始做爱了 |
| [37:51] | You wouldn’t understand. | 你不会明白的 |
| [37:53] | And why’s that? | 为什么 |
| [37:54] | Because sex is different for men than it is for women. | 因为性对男人和女人来说不一样 |
| [37:57] | The need is more immediate, more intense. | 那股欲望来得更快 更强 |
| [37:59] | At least that’s what I’ve read. | 至少书上是这么写的 |
| [38:00] | Where, in “Field and Stream”? | 在哪看到的 《田野与溪流》杂志吗 |
| [38:02] | Uh, just for your information, Linz and I fuck like crazy. | 告诉你一下 琳赛和我做爱很疯狂 |
| [38:05] | We pant and drool like a couple of bitches in heat. | 我们像荡妇一样 天雷勾动地火 |
| [38:07] | Our pussies soak the sheets. | 我们的屄把床单都弄湿了 |
| [38:09] | And we go at it a lot longer | 每次持续的时间比你们长多了 |
| [38:11] | than the 10-minute tumble you guys call sex. | 你们就干上十分钟 也好意思叫做爱 |
| [38:12] | And you don’t even wanna know | 你甚至都不会想知道 |
| [38:13] | how many times we get off in a night. | 我们一个晚上能高潮几次 |
| [38:14] | You’re right. I don’t. | 说得没错 我是不想知道 |
| [38:16] | – Hi, honey. – Mom… | -嗨 宝贝 -妈 |
| [38:17] | What’s the matter? Did something scare you? | 出什么事了 什么东西吓到你了 |
| [38:19] | Just us. | 是我们 |
| [38:20] | I think Michael had a bad date. | 我觉得迈克刚经历了糟糕的约会 |
| [38:22] | I told you to call Ida, for Chris sakes. | 我不是让你联系艾达嘛 老天呐 |
| [38:25] | She’s a fucking genius. | 她绝对是个天才 |
| [38:26] | I’ll end up with a Jewish princess. | 她会给我介绍一个犹太公主 |
| [38:28] | You could end up with a lot worse. | 你最终找到的可能比这还要糟糕许多 |
| [38:43] | Geez, easy! | 天呐 悠着点 |
| [38:46] | You’ve got a lot on there. | 这重量可不轻 |
| [38:47] | I feel slack. | 我觉得肌肉松弛 |
| [38:48] | I need to tighten up. | 我得让肉紧致起来 |
| [38:49] | You have a 18-year-old at home. | 你家里已经有个18岁的了 |
| [38:51] | What are you worried about? | 你还担心什么呢 |
| [38:52] | Keeping him. | 如何留住他 |
| [38:53] | It’s a shame you can’t enjoy your golden years without… | 真遗憾 你无法安心享受黄金岁月 |
| [38:55] | worrying about every sag, every wrinkle. | 整天都得担心身上哪里松弛了 下垂了 |
| [38:57] | Ah, I guess that’s what happens | 我猜如果你找的对象 |
| [38:58] | when you’re dating someone so many… many years your junior. | 比你年轻很多 很多 就会是这种结果 |
| [39:02] | There’s always that constant nagging fear. | 你心里总会有抑制不住的恐惧 |
| [39:04] | He’s gonna dump you for a… | 担心他会甩了你 找一个… |
| [39:06] | hotter, cuter, younger, firmer… stud. | 更性感 更帅气 更年轻 更结实的 种马 |
| [39:09] | I don’t envy you your youth. | 我不羡慕你的年轻 |
| [39:11] | Well, you don’t have to. | 你不用羡慕 |
| [39:12] | Since you’re dating someone who’s 103. | 毕竟你的恋爱对象是个103岁的老头 |
| [39:15] | I’m not dating him. We shared a burger. | 我没跟他恋爱 我们只是分享汉堡 |
| [39:19] | He can have solids? | 他还可以吃固体食物吗 |
| [39:22] | You know, George may not be 29 | 乔治或许不是29岁的年轻人 |
| [39:24] | or have a perfect chin | 下巴也不完美 |
| [39:25] | or a 30-inch waist, | 更没有30英寸的腰围 |
| [39:27] | but he’s a lot nicer than certain arrogant, | 但他比我认识的那个盛气凌人 |
| [39:29] | contemptuous, self-deluded assholes that I know. | 目中无人 自我陶醉的混蛋好多了 |
| [39:32] | Don’t tell me you’re gonna see him again. | 别告诉我你打算继续见他 |
| [39:34] | No, when we, uh… | 不 我们… |
| [39:35] | when we said good night, we, uh, also said goodbye. | 我们那天道晚安时 也就此别过了 |
| [39:45] | You think he actually liked him? | 你觉得他真的喜欢他吗 |
| [39:47] | Some guys are into prime, aged cock. | 有些人就是喜欢成熟的老鸡巴 |
| [39:50] | Better hope Justin is. | 最好希望贾斯汀也是这样 |
| [39:53] | Oh god. | 天呐 |
| [39:57] | So you’re Michael. | 你是迈克 |
| [39:59] | Oh, your mother just raves about you. | 你妈妈对你赞不绝口 |
| [40:02] | You too. | 她对你也赞不绝口 |
| [40:03] | So, a-are you a P-flag mom or… | 你是同性恋家属联谊会的母亲还是… |
| [40:07] | Actually I’m a p-flag son. | 其实我是同性恋家属联谊会的儿子 |
| [40:11] | Have some bundt. | 吃点蛋糕吧 |
| [40:14] | Oh, relax. | 放松 |
| [40:15] | It’s not like you gotta date me. | 你又不是要跟我恋爱 |
| [40:19] | Now, what are you looking for? | 好了 说说你想找什么样的 |
| [40:22] | Um, he should be tall, | 他要高一点 |
| [40:25] | blue eyes, built like superman. | 眼睛是蓝色的 身材像超人一样完美 |
| [40:26] | Well, we all know you boys want beauties. | 你们这些孩子都喜欢长得好看的 |
| [40:28] | That’s a given. | 那是一定的 |
| [40:30] | You asked me what I wanted. | 是你问我想要什么样的 |
| [40:31] | I’m not talking about the outside. | 我说的不是外表 |
| [40:33] | Michael, sweetheart, | 迈克 亲爱的 |
| [40:35] | what do you want on the inside? | 对于内在你有什么要求 |
| [40:39] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [40:40] | Sure you do. | 你肯定知道 |
| [40:42] | Just close your eyes. | 把眼睛闭上 |
| [40:44] | Think. | 好好想想 |
| [40:46] | He’s gotta be passionate about life. | 他要对生活充满热情 |
| [40:49] | He’s worked hard to survive it. | 他非常努力地活下去 |
| [40:52] | Yet he’s maintained his… humour. | 但他还保留着幽默感 |
| [40:56] | He’s charming, kind. | 他既迷人又善良 |
| [40:59] | He does something creative, maybe a writer. | 他的工作要有创造性 比如写作 |
| [41:02] | And he’s into spiritual stuff, like buddha. | 他要有精神追求 比如佛教 |
| [41:07] | And he focuses on living in the now. | 他注重的是活在当下 |
| [41:09] | Because there’s no time to waste. | 因为没有时间可以浪费 |
| [41:15] | And when I’m with him, | 当我跟他在一起的时候 |
| [41:16] | I feel like a better person. | 会觉得自己变成了一个更好的人 |
| [41:25] | No. | 不 |
| [41:28] | Here he is. | 找到了 |
| [41:30] | The Limelight, Liberty Avenue, 8:00 o’clock. | 8点 在自由大道的灰光灯餐厅 |
| [41:34] | Shouldn’t I see a photograph? | 我不需要看下照片吗 |
| [41:35] | How will I know what he looks like? | 要不怎么知道他长什么样 |
| [41:36] | Oh, you don’t need one. | 你不需要照片 |
| [41:37] | Trust me, you’ll know. | 相信我 你会知道的 |
| [41:41] | A new member. | 来新人了啊 |
| [41:50] | Honey… | 亲爱的 |
| [41:53] | Just start breathing. | 松口气 |
| [41:54] | And take a seat and I’ll be right with you. | 找个地方坐下 我一会儿去招待你 |
| [41:56] | Ah, a-actually, I’m looking for somebody. | 实际上 我是来找人的 |
| [42:00] | In this joint, who isn’t? | 在这里 谁不是呢 |
| [42:03] | Justin. | 贾斯汀 |
| [42:10] | Friend of yours? | 你朋友吗 |
| [42:13] | Uh, do you mind if I take a break? | 我走开一会儿可以吗 |
| [42:15] | Take all the time you need… | 多久都可以 |
| [42:18] | as long as you’re back in five minutes. | 只要五分钟后回来就行 |
| [42:23] | Wh-what are you doing? | 你来这儿干什么 |
| [42:25] | I’ve been thinking about you since last night. | 从昨晚开始我就一直在想你 |
| [42:27] | I really missed you. | 我真的很想你 |
| [42:30] | You don’t even know me. | 你根本不认识我 |
| [42:31] | Sure I do. And, uh… | 我当然认识你 还有… |
| [42:33] | You know me too. | 你也认识我 |
| [42:35] | Look, I don’t want you to come here again, okay? | 你以后别来这儿了 好吗 |
| [42:38] | Why not? | 为什么不能来 |
| [42:40] | ‘Cause I said so. | 因为我叫你不要来 |
| [42:42] | Yeah, but after what happened, | 好吧 但是经过了昨晚的事 |
| [42:43] | I thought that we could have this… | 我以为我们可以… |
| [42:44] | Nothing happened. | 昨晚什么都没发生 |
| [42:45] | We fucked, that’s all. | 我们上床了 仅此而已 |
| [42:48] | That’s not all. | 不止这样 |
| [42:50] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [42:52] | You don’t love me. | 你并不爱我 |
| [42:53] | And from the way you kissed me, | 从你吻我的那种感觉 |
| [42:54] | I can tell that we had this connect… | 我就知道我们之间存在着… |
| [42:55] | Do you know how pathetic you are? | 你知道你有多可悲吗 |
| [42:58] | One lousy fuck. | 就他妈上了一次床 |
| [42:59] | Now you’re carrying on like some lovesick fairy. | 你现在就像个害了相思病的基佬 |
| [43:02] | You’ve got a lot to learn. | 你还有很多东西要学 |
| [43:05] | Fags will say anything to get their dicks sucked or fuck a nice ass. | 基佬为了被人口交或操人 什么话都说得出来 |
| [43:09] | Then it’s on to the next. | 然后又会找下一个 |
| [43:11] | I don’t believe you. | 我不相信 |
| [43:14] | I know what I felt. | 我了解我的感觉 |
| [43:16] | Yeah well, I didn’t feel anything. | 是吗 我什么感觉都没有 |
| [43:18] | As far as I’m concerned, | 在我看来 |
| [43:20] | you’re yesterday’s fuck. | 你只是我昨天的炮友 |
| [43:51] | Shouldn’t you let the gardener do that? | 你不是该让园丁做这个吗 |
| [43:57] | The gardener’s good for some things. | 某些事找园丁”做”倒是挺好的 |
| [44:01] | It’s a new gardener. | 换了个新的园丁 |
| [44:05] | But these need special care. | 但这些需要特别照顾 |
| [44:10] | Who would think an ugly little thing like this | 谁能想到这么丑的小东西 |
| [44:14] | could contain something so beautiful. | 会长出那么美丽的花朵 |
| [44:17] | I used to help my mother in the garden. | 我以前常帮我妈打理花园 |
| [44:19] | Once I, uh, I planted a light bulb. | 有一次 我种了一个灯泡 |
| [44:22] | Thought come spring there’d be a chandelier. | 期望来年春天能结出一盏吊灯 |
| [44:26] | Dumb, huh? | 很蠢吧 |
| [44:28] | Charming nevertheless. | 也很迷人 |
| [44:32] | To thank you for dinner, I, uh, | 谢谢你请我吃晚餐 我… |
| [44:33] | I brought us some lunch. | 我带了午餐来 |
| [44:37] | You really must love Burger Queen. | 你一定非常喜欢汉堡王后 |
| [44:39] | I asked for extra pickles. | 我要求多加泡菜 |
| [44:43] | That’s very thoughtful of you, Fetch. | 你真的很体贴 费奇 |
| [44:48] | Actually my… my real name isn’t Fetch. | 其实 我真名不叫费奇 |
| [44:53] | It’s, uh, it’s Emmett. | 我叫艾美特 |
| [44:59] | Nice to meet you, Emmett. | 很高兴认识你 艾美特 |
| [45:10] | Why not? Right here. | 何不就在这儿吃呢 |
| [45:15] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [45:28] | Disturbing question number one: | 第一个令人头疼的问题 |
| [45:30] | how am I supposed to recognize my date when I’ve never seen him? | 我怎么能认出未曾谋面的约会对象呢 |
| [45:33] | Disturbing question number two: | 第二个令人头疼的问题 |
| [45:35] | Why do I listen to my mother? | 为什么我要听我妈的话呢 |
| [45:41] | Shit! Ben’s here. | 糟糕 本在这儿 |
| [45:45] | This time I’m not hallucinating, it really is him. | 这次不是幻觉 真的是他 |
| [45:47] | Disturbing question number three: | 第三个令人头疼的问题 |
| [45:48] | How am I supposed to impress my date when… | 怎么才能给我的约会对象留下好印象呢 |
| [45:52] | Oh fuck, Ben is my date. | 操 我的约会对象就是本 |
| [45:55] | That meshugana yenta actually fixed me up with… | 那疯疯癫癫的长舌妇给我介绍的竟然是… |
| [46:00] | Oh god, he’s looking at me. | 天呐 他在看我 |
| [46:01] | What’ll I do? What’ll I do? | 我该怎么办 我该怎么办 |
| [46:08] | Michael? | 迈克 |
| [46:10] | Ben, what a surprise. | 本 真是没想到啊 |
| [46:11] | Yeah, yeah, small world. | 是啊 这个世界真是小 |
| [46:13] | Isn’t it? | 是吧 |
| [46:14] | Ida sure was right when she said I’d know who it was. | 艾达说我知道要见的人是谁 真是没错 |
| [46:18] | Who? | 谁 |
| [46:20] | Ida. The matchmaker. | 艾达 那个媒婆 |
| [46:22] | My mother’s gonna shit when she hears about this. | 如果让我妈知道 一定会惊呆的 |
| [46:25] | Uh, about… about what? | 知道什么 |
| [46:27] | You and me. | 你和我啊 |
| [46:30] | Oh, yeah, I’m sorry, I’m, uh,… | 那个 对不起 我… |
| [46:33] | Aren’t you here for a date? | 你不是来这里约会的吗 |
| [46:36] | Yeah, yeah, I am, | 是的 我是 |
| [46:36] | – But, uh… – Hi. | -但是… -嗨 |
| [46:39] | But not with you. | 但不是跟你 |
| [47:14] | So many men, so little body hair. | 这么多男人 都没有体毛 |
| [47:22] | See any you like? | 有你喜欢的吗 |
| [47:24] | Him. | 他 |
| [47:27] | I guess. | 我猜也是 |
| [47:30] | You? | 你呢 |
| [47:33] | Him. | 他 |
| [47:34] | He’s kind of young. | 他挺年轻的 |
| [47:37] | Let’s go for it. | 我们行动吧 |
| [47:42] | Or we could go home, | 要不我们回家 |
| [47:43] | just the two of us. | 就我们两个 |
| [47:46] | What about the game? | 这个游戏怎么办 |
| [47:50] | Fuck the game. | 去他妈的游戏 |