| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:07] | Good morning, marketeers. | 早上好 卖场同志们 |
| [00:10] | Now, I don’t think I need to tell everyone | 现在 不用我说大伙儿也该知道了吧 |
| [00:11] | that today is not just any Saturday. | 今天不是一般的周六 |
| [00:13] | It is the Saturday– | 今天这个周六 |
| [00:15] | the Saturday before the Thursday. | 是”周四”之前的周六 |
| [00:19] | Oh, uh, sorry, Betty. | 抱歉 贝蒂 |
| [00:27] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [00:28] | Why is Betty always the only one with store spirit? | 为啥老是只有贝蒂一人具有卖场精神啊 |
| [00:31] | What’s Thursday? | 周四是啥日子啊 |
| [00:32] | Thanksgiving. | 感恩节啊 |
| [00:34] | Oh, yeah. I forgot. | 对哦 我忘了 |
| [00:37] | How could you forget Thanksgiving? | 你咋会忘了感恩节 |
| [00:38] | Oh, we don’t really think of it as Thanksgiving. | 咱家没把那天当感恩节 |
| [00:40] | We think of it as the only Thursday | 我们只觉得那是全年中 |
| [00:41] | of the year we don’t have to work. | 唯一不用上班的周四 |
| [00:43] | Well, that and Senior Skip Day, which my dad still celebrates. | 还有逃课节 我老爸到现在都还会庆祝 |
| [00:46] | Now, we will start employing subliminal directions. | 现在 我们要实行潜意识导购 |
| [00:50] | If somebody asks you where the cereal is, | 如果顾客问麦片在哪儿 |
| [00:52] | you tell them, “Go to the turkey, make a left, | 大家就回答 在火鸡售卖区左转 |
| [00:54] | “and when you pass the yams and the cranberry sauce, | 走过洋芋和越橘酱售卖区 |
| [00:57] | it’ll be on the right-hand side.” | 右手边就是 |
| [00:59] | Josh, where are the pickles? | 乔什 咸菜在哪儿 |
| [01:01] | They’re right behind you. | 就在你后面 |
| [01:04] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [01:05] | One more time. | 再来一次 |
| [01:07] | I can’t believe you don’t do anything. | 真不敢相信你不庆祝 |
| [01:09] | I love Thanksgiving. | 我超爱感恩节 |
| [01:11] | Seeing all four of my grandparents together | 看到爷爷奶奶 外公外婆坐在一块儿 |
| [01:12] | just makes me feel really connected to my family. | 让我感觉很有家庭感 |
| [01:16] | I’ve never met Hope’s grandparents. | 我还没见过喜旺的外公外婆呢 |
| [01:18] | Lucy never introduced you | 露西没引见过吗 |
| [01:19] | during your storybook romantic courtship? | 你俩可有段童话般的浪漫爱情啊 |
| [01:21] | Oh, right. | 对哦 |
| [01:22] | You did it in the back of your van, | 你是在小货车里上了她 |
| [01:24] | and then she was executed. | 之后她就被灭了 |
| [01:25] | You know, it cheapens it when you say it like that. | 好好的事被你说的这么不入流 |
| [01:27] | Maybe Hope should meet her grandparents. | 也许喜旺应该见见她的外公外婆 |
| [01:30] | All right, crew, let’s bring it in. | 好了 各位 投入进来吧 |
| [01:33] | Come on. | 快点儿 |
| [01:34] | Store opens in 30 seconds. | 30秒后营业 |
| [01:36] | Chop-chop. We only get one shot at this. | 快快 咱只有一次机会啊 |
| [01:38] | Okay, team. | 好了 同志们 |
| [01:39] | “Gobble, gobble,” On three. | 吃啊吃啊[感恩节招牌语] 数到三一起说 |
| [01:41] | One, two, three. | 一 二 三 |
| [01:44] | Gobble, gobble! | 吃啊吃啊 |
| [01:51] | This is why our softball team sucks. | 咱的垒球队这么烂 是有原因滴 |
| [02:28] | Ah, what are you guys doing here? | 兄弟们 干嘛呢 |
| [02:29] | We wanted to talk to you | 想跟你商量下 |
| [02:30] | about what we’re going to blow up on Thursday. | 周四咱炸什么上天 |
| [02:31] | Yeah, we found a deer head some hunter left in the woods. | 我们在森林里找到个猎人留下的鹿头 |
| [02:34] | It would be spectacular. | 肯定爆到绝 |
| [02:36] | And I think it would be disrespectful and macabre. | 而我就觉得这是没正经兼毛骨悚然 |
| [02:39] | Ever since you learned that word, | 自从你学了这破词儿 |
| [02:40] | – everything is macabre to you. – Listen, guys. | -啥事儿都是”毛骨悚然” -听着 兄弟 |
| [02:43] | I’m not sure I can blow something up this year. | 我不确定自己今年还能去搞爆破 |
| [02:45] | Pretty sure I’m going to do a family thing. | 确定的是我今年要搞点家庭调调了 |
| [02:47] | But, for the record, I think the deer head sounds awesome. | 不过 随口说一句 鹿头听起来挺赞的 |
| [02:51] | So you’re just blowing us off for a family thing? | 所以你要为了家庭放我俩鸽子了 |
| [02:55] | Dude, that is macabre. | 哥们儿 毛骨悚然哦 |
| [02:59] | I can’t believe you bought a turkey. | 真不敢相信你买了只火鸡 |
| [03:02] | For all the money you spent on that thing, | 为了那么个玩意儿花了这么多钱 |
| [03:05] | you have any idea how many pizzas we could have bought? | 知道那些钱能买多少披萨么 |
| [03:09] | – Two. – I’m not going to deprive Hope | -两张之多 -我可不会剥夺喜旺的感恩节 |
| [03:12] | of Thanksgiving the way you deprived me. | 就像你剥夺我的感恩节一样 |
| [03:14] | We’re having turkey. | 咱们就得吃火鸡 |
| [03:15] | And I’m thinking of inviting Hope’s other grandparents over. | 而且我寻思着请喜旺的外公外婆过来 |
| [03:17] | The murderer’s parents? That’s crazy. | 杀人犯的爹妈 疯了吧你 |
| [03:19] | We don’t even know those people. | 咱根本就不认识他们 |
| [03:21] | Creeps me out– the thought of sharing our table | 搞得我一身鸡皮 居然想请连环杀人犯的爹妈 |
| [03:23] | with the parents of a serial killer. | 和咱们同桌吃饭 |
| [03:25] | Would you eat with Mr. And Mrs. Dahmer? | 你会跟道默的爹妈吃饭不 |
| [03:28] | Or the parents of that chimp that ate that lady’s face? | 会跟那吃美女脸的猩猩的爹妈吃饭不 |
| [03:31] | That’s creepy, man. | 怕怕哦 |
| [03:32] | Creepy. | 怕怕哦 |
| [03:34] | Look, guys, I know we may not be able | 听着两位 我知道咱不可能给喜旺 |
| [03:36] | to get Hope the best things in life | 人生中最美好的东西 |
| [03:38] | or even the second best things. | 或是二等美好的东西 |
| [03:39] | We may be able to get her the third best things, | 也许我们能给她三等美好的东西 |
| [03:41] | but even those will probably come secondhand. | 但那也十有八九都是二手货 |
| [03:43] | This is something we can actually do. | 可这是咱们实实在在能办到的事 |
| [03:45] | Now, as a parent… | 做为人家的爹… |
| [03:46] | Fine, if it’ll get you to end your big, stupid speech, | 行啦 只要能让你结束那套长篇大论 |
| [03:49] | we’ll do it. | 吃饭就吃饭呗 |
| [03:55] | Great. | 这下可好 |
| [03:56] | That’s two and a half hours we’ll never get back. | 两个半小时的青春一去不复返了 |
| [04:04] | Uh, hey. | 你好 |
| [04:05] | I’m Jimmy. | 我是吉米 |
| [04:06] | Uh, I tried calling, | 本来想先打电话的 |
| [04:07] | but I felt weird saying this on a machine. | 可又觉得通过机器讲这些话怪怪的 |
| [04:10] | Um, I’m the guy who impregnated your daughter | 我就是你女儿坐电椅前 |
| [04:13] | before she got electrocuted. | 搞大她肚子的那家伙 |
| [04:16] | Oh. Oh. Oh, my. | 我 我 我滴个天啊 |
| [04:20] | Well, hello. | 你好 |
| [04:22] | I, um, I’m Dale. | 我是戴尔 |
| [04:23] | You can call me “Dr. Dale.” | 你可以叫我戴尔医生 |
| [04:25] | Because I’m a doctor. | 因为我是个医生 |
| [04:26] | But just call her “Margine” because she’s not a doctor. | 叫她玛姬就行了 她没医生头衔 |
| [04:29] | So… | 就是这样 |
| [04:30] | I’m going to go to the kitchen | 我这就去厨房 |
| [04:31] | and make some iced tea for the person who is here. | 为来访的家伙弄些冰茶 |
| [04:36] | Is she okay? | 她没事吧 |
| [04:37] | Well, Margine has not handled the fact | 这个嘛 玛姬对于我们的女儿 |
| [04:39] | that our daughter became a serial killer very well. | 是连环杀人犯这事 有点不能接受 |
| [04:42] | But we’re getting there! | 不过我们在努力了 快了 |
| [04:44] | We’re not getting there. | 早着呢 |
| [04:46] | Yeah, the psychiatric community frowns | 精神病协会反对 |
| [04:48] | on therapists treating their spouses, | 心理医生治疗其配偶 |
| [04:49] | but she was my patient before we started dating, so… | 但我俩好上之前她就是我的病人了 所以… |
| [04:53] | Here’s your iced tea. | 给你冰茶 |
| [04:56] | It’s empty. | 空的啊 |
| [04:56] | Just drink her iced tea. | 赶紧喝了 |
| [05:03] | Listen. I came over | 是这样的 我过来呢 |
| [05:05] | to invite you over to our house for Thanksgiving. | 是想邀请你们来我家过感恩节 |
| [05:07] | You could, uh, | 你们可以… |
| [05:08] | meet your granddaughter. She’s pretty cute. | 见见你们外孙女 她很Q的 |
| [05:10] | I got her picture here. | 我这里有她照片 |
| [05:12] | Keep it in my wallet | 一直放在我钱包里 |
| [05:13] | next to the condom I always carry with me now. | 就放在套套旁边 我现在可是套套随身带哦 |
| [05:16] | You know. Fool me once, right? | 栽过跟头 长记性了 |
| [05:21] | No? | 也不算跟头啦 |
| [05:23] | Oh. | 是嘛 |
| [05:25] | All right. | 好 |
| [05:31] | Oh, she’s funny. | 哎呀 长得真逗 |
| [05:32] | She has, like… like… | 她就像…就像… |
| [05:35] | Uh, you know, | 知道吗 |
| [05:36] | maybe it is time for Margine to take the next step | 这或许会大大有助于 |
| [05:38] | in her therapeutic process. | 玛姬的心理治疗 |
| [05:40] | We’ll be there. | 我们会去的 |
| [05:41] | No, we won’t! | 不 我们才不要去 |
| [05:43] | Don’t listen to her. She’s crazy. Just… | 别听她的 她有病 你懂的 |
| [05:48] | Guys? | 大伙儿 |
| [05:53] | Good news. | 好消息 |
| [05:55] | Lucy’s parents are coming. | 露西爸妈答应来了 |
| [05:56] | What’s their deal? Are they weird? | 他们咋样 诡异不 |
| [05:58] | Weird? No. | 诡异啥 不会 |
| [06:00] | They’re not weird. | 他们才不诡异 |
| [06:04] | They’re weird. | 得 铁定怪得没边儿了 |
| [06:05] | I can’t stand weird people. | 诡异什么的 最受不了了 |
| [06:08] | Stop doing that! | 能不这么手贱吗 |
| [06:12] | Get down. | 卧倒 |
| [06:29] | Do we really have to use Maw Maw’s coffin as a dinner table? | 咱非得用曾奶奶的棺材当餐桌吗 |
| [06:33] | It’s the only thing we own that seats seven. | 只有这东西才能坐下七个人 |
| [06:35] | Anyway, it’s not necessarily for Maw Maw. | 而且 也不一定就是曾奶奶用的 |
| [06:37] | It’s for whoever dies first. | 先挂先得 |
| [06:38] | Can’t be me. | 我用不了啊 |
| [06:39] | It’s too short. | 太短了 |
| [06:41] | Unless I die in a magic trick. | 除非是死在大卸八块的魔术表演台上 |
| [06:42] | Which is never gonna happen | 不过这辈子是别想了 |
| [06:43] | because no matter how high I raise my hand, | 因为不管我怎么使劲儿举手 |
| [06:45] | they never pick me as a volunteer. | 他们丫的都不选我上台 |
| [06:46] | Somebody parked a clown car in front of our house. | 咱家门口停了辆玩具车耶 |
| [06:49] | That’s one of those cars | 咦 这不就是那种吗 |
| [06:51] | you told me I’d never be able to lift up all by myself. | 你说我一个人绝对抬不起来那种 |
| [06:54] | I’m gonna go lift it. | 爷这就抬给你看 |
| [06:56] | Dad, don’t. I think that’s the Carlyles. | 爸 别去 我估计那是卡莱尔两口子 |
| [07:02] | Sorry we’re early. | 抱歉 我们来早了 |
| [07:04] | But Margine can only leave the house | 但要想让玛姬离开家 |
| [07:05] | when all the numbers in the digital clocks are the same, | 就非得等到数字钟上的数字都一样才行 |
| [07:08] | so we left at 11:11, | 所以我们11:11就出门了 |
| [07:09] | because if we left at 1:11, we’d be late. | 因为要是等到1:11 那就得迟到了 |
| [07:11] | Okay. Well, um, do you want to come in? | 好吧 那个…你们要进来吗 |
| [07:15] | Margine, do you think you’re ready | 玛姬 准备好 |
| [07:17] | to meet your granddaughter? Hmm? | 见咱外孙女了吗 |
| [07:32] | I still think we need a few minutes. | 我想咱得再让她缓几分钟 |
| [07:39] | I’m doing it! I’m doing it! | 爷成功了 成功了 |
| [07:41] | Virginia! | 维吉妮亚 |
| [07:42] | I’m lifting a car! | 爷我抬动这车了 |
| [07:45] | You think you can | 你以为 |
| [07:47] | steal my table. | 你跟老板有一腿 |
| [07:48] | Just because you slept with the boss. | 就能占老娘的位置吗 |
| [07:50] | Maw Maw, no! | 奶奶 别闹了 |
| [07:54] | What the hell? | 这是啥情况 |
| [07:55] | She saw the food and now she thinks she’s still | 她看见准备的那些菜 以为自己 |
| [07:58] | working the lunch counter at Woolworth’s in 1949. | 还在1949年的伍尔沃斯卖午餐呢 |
| [08:08] | 86! Turkey! | 86号 火鸡 |
| [08:12] | Oh, I think it’s okay. | 我估计还能吃 |
| [08:13] | Five second rule, right? | 黄金五秒原则 对吧 |
| [08:14] | 器官移植手术中 若器官意外掉落 五秒内仍能使用 | |
| [08:15] | Well, you can forget about Thanksgiving. | 行了 过感恩节是别想了 |
| [08:17] | It’s too late to cook and the stores are closed. | 现在重新做饭也来不及了 商店也都关门了 |
| [08:20] | I can fix this! | 我能搞定 |
| [08:28] | Go for Barney. | 我是巴尼 |
| [08:31] | James, it’Thanksgiving day. | 詹姆士 今天可是感恩节耶 |
| [08:34] | I knew it was a long shot. | 我知道希望渺茫 |
| [08:36] | Our dinner got ruined. I figured I could maybe go down | 可咱家晚饭惨遭荼毒 我想也许能 |
| [08:39] | to the store and pick up some things. | 去店里拿点吃的回来 |
| [08:40] | Throw something together. | 胡拼乱凑糊弄点儿啥 |
| [08:42] | Uh, well, this party I’m at | 这样啊 我这边聚会 |
| [08:44] | is kind of dying down. | 差不多快完事了 |
| [08:46] | Uh, Aunt Mildred, don’t hog all the giblets. | 那个 米阿姨 别霸着杂碎汤不放 |
| [08:48] | Uh, text me your address and any food allergies, | 把你的地址和过敏食物单发短信给我 |
| [08:51] | and I’ll come whip up a meal. | 我带东西来帮你做饭 |
| [08:53] | See, that’s not really what I… | 那个 我不是这意思 |
| [08:55] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [08:58] | Deep breaths. | 深呼吸 |
| [09:00] | Visualize yourself in a beautiful place. | 想象你置身于美景之中 |
| [09:11] | Do any of these burners work? | 你们家这灶台有能用的吗 |
| [09:13] | Half of the right front one. | 右边第一个一半能用 |
| [09:14] | You have to put the center of the pot | 你得把锅底中心对准那一半火苗 |
| [09:16] | in the middle of that half and then balance it with a lid. | 再用锅盖支住保持平衡 |
| [09:25] | Hi! | 嗨 |
| [09:26] | Come in. Come in. | 来 快请进 |
| [09:27] | I’m Virginia. This is my husband Burt. | 我是维吉妮亚 这是我老公伯特 |
| [09:29] | Hello. I’m Dale. This is my wife Margine. | 你好 我是戴尔 这是我太太玛姬 |
| [09:32] | Nice to meet you, Margine. | 幸会啊 玛姬 |
| [09:35] | Yeah, it’s probably best, | 那个 这样最好 |
| [09:37] | no one touch each other yet. | 幸亏谁都没碰到谁 |
| [09:39] | Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [09:40] | She won’t burn anything. | 她啥也不会烧 |
| [09:41] | She just needs to feel some pain | 她得自残一下 |
| [09:42] | – to calm herself down. – Oh. | -才能保持镇静 -这样啊 |
| [09:45] | I can’t wait to do this every year. | 真期待每年都这样聚在一起啊 |
| [09:47] | I think I know what will cheer her up. | 我想我知道怎么让她高兴起来 |
| [09:49] | I’ll go get Hope up from her nap. | 我去把喜旺叫醒 |
| [09:50] | No, no. Too soon for that. | 别 太快了 |
| [09:52] | I think Margine is uncomfortable here | 我想玛姬在这儿坐立不安的 |
| [09:53] | because this is bringing up some of her feelings about Lucy. | 是因为这唤起了她对露西的感情 |
| [09:57] | You know, what might help | 你知道 想帮忙的话 |
| [09:58] | is some role-playing. | 角色扮演是个不错的注意 |
| [10:00] | Uh, Virginia, | 维吉妮亚 |
| [10:01] | will you pretend to be Lucy? | 你能扮演一下露西吗 |
| [10:03] | I’d really rather not. | 姐可没那闲情逸致 |
| [10:05] | This is important to the therapy. | 这对心理治疗很重要的 |
| [10:09] | Burt? Will you pretend to be Lucy? | 伯特 你愿意扮演一下露西吗 |
| [10:11] | Sounds great. What do you want? | 听起来蛮好玩的 你想要哪种 |
| [10:13] | Young Lucy? Prison Lucy? | 幼齿露西 号房大姐大露西 |
| [10:14] | Ghost Lucy? | 还是幽魂露西 |
| [10:15] | Whatever Lucy you want will be fine. | 想扮哪个扮哪个 |
| [10:16] | Can I do it with a Spanish accent? | 能演西班牙口音的吗 |
| [10:18] | Let’s keep it simple. | 咱还是别玩儿悬的了 |
| [10:24] | I’m Lucy. | 我是露西 |
| [10:27] | I’m a pretty, pretty girl. | 是个小美妞呀小美妞 |
| [10:28] | I have medium-sized boobies. | 还有不大不小的咪咪 |
| [10:30] | Okay, then. You guys enjoy your little game. | 好啦 你们慢慢玩儿 |
| [10:33] | Call me when dinner’s ready. | 晚饭好了叫我 |
| [10:36] | Mom? | 老妈 |
| [10:38] | Help! | 救命 |
| [10:39] | What? What? | 咋了 咋了 |
| [10:41] | Help me! | 救我 |
| [10:42] | What the hell’s going on? | 啥情况 |
| [10:43] | This little pipsqueak cook sent me out there | 这个小厨子差我去 |
| [10:45] | to serve runny eggs to the mayor! | 给市长打鸡蛋 |
| [10:49] | Easy. Easy. | 放轻松 放轻松 |
| [10:52] | I don’t know what she’s talking about. | 她说啥鬼话我听不懂 |
| [10:54] | But she keeps making me look at a napkin full of her snot. | 可她老逼我看她满是鼻涕的纸巾 |
| [10:59] | Barbara, I need you to stay in this storeroom | 芭芭拉 麻烦你去储藏室 |
| [11:02] | and take-take inventory. | 盘一下货 |
| [11:05] | Jimmy, we don’t want to mess with your traditional family thing, | 吉米 我们不想打扰你的传统家庭聚会 |
| [11:08] | but we need something else to blow up. | 可我们需要点别的东西来炸 |
| [11:10] | Javier wussed out on the deer head. | 哈维尔在鹿头面前怯懦了 |
| [11:12] | I looked into his eyes, and he touched my soul. | 我看着它的眼睛 它仿佛看透了我的心 |
| [11:15] | You can blow up anything you find in the yard. | 院子里你们想炸什么炸什么 |
| [11:16] | I just need you to keep Maw Maw busy | 只要让曾奶奶忙起来就好 |
| [11:18] | while I’m giving Hope her traditional Thanksgiving. | 我要给喜旺过一个标准的感恩节 |
| [11:19] | You boys cannot come in this door. | 你们不能进屋来 |
| [11:21] | You have to sit out in the colored section. | 只许坐在着色的那块区域 |
| [11:23] | Looks like she’s still back at Woolworth’s again. | 貌似她又回到在伍尔沃斯工作的年代了 |
| [11:25] | Follow me. | 跟我来 |
| [11:26] | Don’t you stare at my keister. | 别盯着我的翘臀看 |
| [11:29] | No, stop punishing yourself. | 别再责怪自己了 |
| [11:32] | I am not gonna let you take the blame | 我不准你因为我的过错 |
| [11:34] | for the awful things that I did. | 而自责不已 |
| [11:36] | That means so much to me. | 那对我意义重大 |
| [11:39] | Mama, it’s okay. | 妈妈 没事的 |
| [11:42] | Jimmy, this is going fantastically well. | 吉米 一切都超顺利的 |
| [11:43] | I think Margine is ready to meet the baby. | 我想玛姬准备好见宝宝了 |
| [11:50] | I know I shouldn’t have avoided you, | 我明白我不该回避你 |
| [11:53] | but I was scared that somehow you’d be like Lucy. | 可我很怕你一不小心会和露西一样 |
| [11:56] | And that somehow that would be my fault, too. | 而那个”一不小心”就是我的过错 |
| [11:59] | But you’re just an adorable little treasure. | 还好 你是个可爱的小宝贝 |
| [12:02] | There is not a bad bone in your body. No! | 没有一点坏心眼 一点都没 |
| [12:06] | Pick her up, Margine. | 抱抱她 玛姬 |
| [12:07] | Give her time, Dad. Geez! | 给她点时间 爸爸 天哪 |
| [12:12] | Hear that? | 听见了吗 |
| [12:19] | Well, Mom, you’ll be happy to know that | 老妈 好消息 |
| [12:21] | Margine has bonded with Hope, Dad’s having fun. | 玛姬和喜旺正如胶似漆 老爸也玩得很开心 |
| [12:24] | If you come join us, I think we can actually have | 你要是也加入进来 我想咱就能 |
| [12:26] | a real Thanksgiving. | 过个真正的感恩节了 |
| [12:27] | What the hey? | 凭啥不加入 |
| [12:29] | I’m drunk and my team is up three kicking points. | 老娘酒意正浓 我们队也进了仨球了 |
| [12:32] | Let’s go talk to Dr. Dumbass and his nutball wife. | 咱去跟那憨豆医生和他的疯婆子聊聊吧 |
| [12:36] | That’s the spirit. | 这才对嘛 |
| [12:38] | Okay, who’s who? | 好了 谁是谁 |
| [12:42] | I’m Lucy. | 我是露西 |
| [12:43] | Everyone else is pretty much themselves. | 其他人没变化 |
| [12:45] | Which means you can be Virginia. | 你可以当维吉妮亚 |
| [12:47] | Or Burt. | 也可以当伯特 |
| [12:48] | I’m gonna stick with me. | 姐就是姐 |
| [12:50] | Lucy, I am very sorry I was not a better hostess when you visited. | 露西 抱歉没当好女主人好好款待你 |
| [12:56] | I am sure you did not expect me | 我想你一定没想到 |
| [12:58] | to hit you on the head with the TV. | 我会用电视砸你脑袋吧 |
| [13:00] | When did you hit Lucy with the TV? | 你啥时候拿电视砸露西了 |
| [13:02] | Right before I called the police. | 就在报警之前 |
| [13:04] | And the TV has not worked the same since, by the way. | 话说回来 从那以后电视就坏了 |
| [13:07] | Not that you need to buy me a new one, but… | 倒不是说你得给我买个新的 但 |
| [13:09] | You’re the ones that turned Lucy in? | 是你把露西弄进去的 |
| [13:11] | Yeah. It’s sort of a family policy | 是啊 这是咱家的政策 |
| [13:13] | to call for help when there’s a murderer in the house. | 屋里进了杀人犯就得这么呼救 |
| [13:15] | But that was my daughter. | 可那是我女儿 |
| [13:18] | Who was a murderer. | 也是个杀人犯 |
| [13:19] | So, Margine, you play any instruments? | 玛姬啊 你玩乐器吗 |
| [13:22] | You know, you keep saying “Murderer” | 你口口声声杀人犯的 |
| [13:23] | like we’re the only parents who have a kid with issues. | 搞得好像只有我们的孩子有问题 |
| [13:26] | I mean, yours is a slacker who still lives at home. | 你家那懒鬼不也好吃懒做宅在家里么 |
| [13:30] | Hey, time out. | 时间到 |
| [13:31] | I’m gonna have to step out of Lucy here for a second. | 我得休息会儿再来当露西 |
| [13:34] | We really being judged | 我们真的在被个 |
| [13:35] | by the couple of parents of serial killers? | 连环杀手的父母评判么 |
| [13:37] | Yeah, a serial killer with a college degree. | 是啊 还是个大学学历的连环杀手 |
| [13:40] | Who had her own apartment. | 还有自己的房子 |
| [13:41] | Which was a lot nicer than this dump! | 比这个狗窝好上几百倍 |
| [13:46] | Mom, Dad, bedroom. | 老爸老妈 回房 |
| [13:51] | Guys, relax. So they called me a slacker. | 大家淡定 他们不过是叫我懒鬼罢了 |
| [13:54] | Slacker’s not even the worst thing | 比起你今天骂我的那些词儿 |
| [13:55] | I’ve been called today, by you. | 懒鬼已经不算最糟的了 |
| [13:56] | That’s different. | 那不一样 |
| [13:57] | I’m allowed to criticize you. | 我有权利唠叨你 |
| [13:59] | I made you. You’re my mistake. | 你是我生的 我的孽债 |
| [14:01] | Look, I know that this is a big pain, but it’s worth it, | 听着 我知道那不好受 但很值 |
| [14:03] | ’cause Hope’s gonna get a tradition out of it– | 因为喜旺能过上一个传统的节日了 |
| [14:05] | we just have to get through | 咱一年只要委曲一次 |
| [14:07] | one meal a year with these people, and then | 和他们吃顿饭 |
| [14:08] | we can spend the rest of the year making fun of them. | 然后剩下一整年 想咋取笑他们咋取笑 |
| [14:10] | Why would I want to make fun of people? | 我有那么爱取笑人么 |
| [14:12] | You always make me out to be such a monster. | 你老把我想得跟个怪物似的 |
| [14:16] | You with your beady eyes and your Ruth Buzzi haircut. | 瞧你那警惕的眼神和小受的发型 |
| [14:21] | Tell me you didn’t enjoy that. | 还敢说你不爱取笑别人么 |
| [14:29] | Where did the weirdos go? | 那些怪胎人呢 |
| [14:31] | Hey. Where’s Hope? | 喜旺也不见了 |
| [14:33] | Did those sons of bitches steal our baby?! | 莫非那俩 混蛋偷了我们的宝宝 |
| [14:36] | I had to switch allspice for the nutmeg, | 我打算不用甜椒 改用肉豆蔻了 |
| [14:38] | so we’ll be missing some of the low notes | 但我们就尝不到土豆 |
| [14:40] | on the sweet potatoes. | 那部分的尾调了 |
| [14:45] | I shouldn’t have told them that. | 早知道就不告诉他们了 |
| [14:50] | Let’s just call the cops– they’ll lock up these fruitcakes | 我们该报警 警察会逮捕这群疯子 |
| [14:53] | and we can get our baby back. | 咱们就能救回宝宝了 |
| [14:55] | Hope’s already lost her mom to jail– | 喜旺已经失去了妈妈 |
| [14:56] | I don’t want her losing her grandparents, too. | 我不想她再失去外公外婆 |
| [14:59] | I’m going around back to see if the windows are locked. | 我去后面看看窗户有没有上锁 |
| [15:05] | Look, Dr. Dale, I could’ve called the police, but I didn’t. | 听着 戴尔医生 我本可以报警但我没有 |
| [15:08] | If you give Hope back now, we can all | 只要你把喜旺还给我 |
| [15:11] | still have a nice turkey dinner together, | 我们还可以一起吃顿感恩大餐 |
| [15:13] | and this will all just be | 这段插曲在若干年后 |
| [15:13] | a silly story we laugh about years from now. | 只会是我们茶余饭后的笑谈 |
| [15:15] | I-It’s too late– Margine’s bonded with the baby now. | 太晚了 玛姬已经和喜旺如胶似漆了 |
| [15:18] | And the truth is, we can raise Hope | 实话说 我们养喜旺 |
| [15:19] | far better than a man in suspended adolescence, | 可比你这个超龄宅男强多了 |
| [15:21] | his bipolar, alcoholic mother | 而且你妈还是个人妖似的酒鬼 |
| [15:23] | and the… | 还有这个 |
| [15:24] | well, whatever this one is. | 不知道哪儿有问题的家伙 |
| [15:26] | Pool guy. | 爷是清洁泳池的 |
| [15:28] | Now, I admit we didn’t do a perfect job with Lucy, | 我承认露西的事儿我们有责任 |
| [15:31] | but mistakes are why pencils have erasers, | 但是铅笔上有橡皮 |
| [15:34] | why they have that little “Delete” Button, | 电脑上有删除键 |
| [15:35] | and why they invented Wite-Out. | 你总得给我们个用修正液的机会啊 |
| [15:37] | What? | 干嘛 |
| [15:38] | Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. | 冲啊 冲啊 冲啊 冲啊 冲啊 |
| [15:53] | Hey. | 嗨 |
| [15:55] | What’s Shelley doing here? | 雪莉怎么在这儿 |
| [15:56] | We couldn’t handle Maw Maw alone. | 我俩降不住曾奶奶了 |
| [15:58] | She thought I was talking about civil rights. | 她还以为我在跟她谈论公民权利 |
| [16:01] | Then she started spraying me with the garden hose. | 然后她就用花园的水管喷我 |
| [16:05] | *Your knowledge of racial slurs * | 你的种族歧视 |
| [16:06] | *Is quite extensive * | 还挺严重 |
| [16:08] | *And saying certain words can be offensive * | 有的话会伤人 |
| [16:10] | *We weren’t so equal many years ago * | 多年以前我们并非如此平等 |
| [16:12] | *Back then prejudice was status quo * | 多年以前偏见如家常便饭 |
| [16:14] | *People’s brains were in their behind * | 人们的脑子都落后到屁股里去了 |
| [16:16] | *And yours is stuck in 1949, hey! * | 你的脑子已经停滞在1949年了 嗨 |
| [16:18] | Hey, hey. | 嗨 嗨 |
| [16:21] | Oh, God, they’re back. | 神那 他们又来了 |
| [16:23] | I’ll hold ’em off– you go get the TV. | 我来掩护 你去拿电视 |
| [16:25] | No, no, wait, wait, no, we didn’t… | 别别 我们不是 |
| [16:27] | we didn’t come to fight, we just came to apologize. | 我们不是来打架的 是来道歉的 |
| [16:30] | You had every right to hit me with the TV. | 我活该被电视砸 |
| [16:33] | Just like you had every right to hit our daughter with a TV. | 我女儿也活该被电视砸 |
| [16:37] | We’re not good parents | 我们不是合格的家长 |
| [16:39] | we’d probably ruin Hope | 说不定会糟蹋了喜旺 |
| [16:41] | the same way we ruined Lucy. | 就像我们糟蹋了露西 |
| [16:42] | And I know she said her crimes were not my fault, | 我知道她说过她的罪行不是我的过失 |
| [16:46] | but… that was probably your husband talking. | 但我知道 其实说话的是你老公 |
| [16:50] | So we just wanted to say we’re sorry. | 我们只是想来道个歉 |
| [16:55] | Hang on, hang on. | 您留步 |
| [16:58] | It took a lot for you to come here and admit you were wrong. | 你们来这儿认错勇气可嘉 |
| [17:02] | I know what it’s like to feel like a bad parent. | 我知道当个不合格的家长是什么感觉 |
| [17:05] | Jimmy’s always yapping in my ear about what a crappy job | 吉米就总在我耳边唠叨 |
| [17:09] | we did raising him. | 我们把他糟蹋了 |
| [17:10] | What are you doing? | 你干嘛呢 |
| [17:11] | They tried to steal the baby. | 他们想偷喜旺来着 |
| [17:13] | Who among us has not done something crazy? | 咱谁没干过傻缺事儿啊 |
| [17:16] | I got a tattoo of a foot on my foot. | 我脚上有个脚形的纹身 |
| [17:18] | Grown-ups are talking now, hon. | 大人说话小孩别插嘴 |
| [17:20] | Look, we can’t undo the mistakes we made as parents. | 糟蹋了的孩子 泼出去的水 |
| [17:23] | All we can do is try to be good grandparents. | 咱们能做的就是当好爷爷奶奶喽 |
| [17:26] | And I think that means | 也就是说 |
| [17:28] | making a… good tradition for Hope. | 我们要给喜旺过一个美好的传统节日 |
| [17:32] | Great! So everyone forgives everyone? | 好极了 大家都和好了么 |
| [17:37] | Let’s go make a memory! | 咱去创造美好回忆吧 |
| [17:40] | Burt, would you, uh, like to say grace? | 伯特 你来说饭前祷词吧 |
| [17:43] | Rock on. | 瞧好吧您 |
| [17:47] | What up, God? | 上帝哥们儿 最近可好 |
| [17:50] | Thank you for my family, | 谢谢你赐给我我的家人 |
| [17:52] | and even though this baby is the last thing we wanted, | 虽然我们并没期待这个小破孩 |
| [17:55] | she’s turned out to be pretty cool. | 但她其实还挺酷的 |
| [17:58] | As for this meal, I don’t really like turkey, | 说到这顿饭 我其实不喜欢火鸡 |
| [18:01] | but thank you for… | 但还是要感谢你 |
| [18:04] | my good hair, which thou hath not takeneth away, | 赐予我一头靓丽的秀发 |
| [18:09] | my strong jaw, straight teeth, | 一口洁白的牙齿 |
| [18:12] | rock-hard abs and… | 一肚子结实的肌肉 |
| [18:16] | They took Hope. Again. | 他们抢走了喜旺 “又”抢走了 |
| [18:19] | Damn it! | 去屎吧 |
| [18:22] | Hope you enjoy spending | 祝你未来的三五个感恩节 |
| [18:24] | the next five to ten Thankgivings in jail, bitch! | 在牢里玩得开心 混蛋 |
| [18:28] | Boy, at my age, you think you’ve seen it all, | 我还以为我已经阅尽千帆了 |
| [18:31] | and boom, something else happens. | 没想到一山更比一山高 |
| [18:41] | I slaved over a hot oven all day, | 我一整天都埋头在烤箱里 |
| [18:43] | and then you guys just run off, | 你们却撒丫子就跑了 |
| [18:45] | and my food gets cold and ruined. | 我的美食就这样被糟蹋了 |
| [18:46] | I hope getting your precious baby back was worth it. | 我希望找回你们家宝贝孩子值得这些 |
| [18:49] | You were right, Mom. | 你说的对 老妈 |
| [18:50] | I shouldn’t have tried to start some silly new tradition. | 我不该脑子进水搞什么新传统的 |
| [18:53] | Trying is the first step to sucking. | 新花样就是烂摊子的开端 |
| [18:55] | Lesson learned. | 以此为戒吧 |
| [19:04] | Worst Thanksgiving ever. | 史上最烂感恩节 |
| [19:06] | We had this cheese sauce, | 我们吃了点乳酪酱 |
| [19:07] | it irritated my dad’s IBS. | 引起了我爸爸的肠易激综合症 |
| [19:09] | He spent the whole afternoon in the bathroom | 他整个下午都耗在了厕所里 |
| [19:11] | but forced us to include him via video chat. | 还让我们用视频通话带他玩 |
| [19:14] | Yeah, well, my baby was stolen. Twice. | 我家孩子被偷了 还是两次 |
| [19:17] | I can’t beat that. | 败了 |
| [19:20] | Let’s drink! | 喝点小酒庆贺吧 |
| [19:25] | All my plans went to crap. | 我的计划都彻底见鬼去了 |
| [19:28] | We didn’t start the perfect Thanksgiving tradition | 我们没能过一个传统的感恩节 |
| [19:30] | with a big family sitting around a turkey. | 一大家子人围坐在火鸡边发呆 |
| [19:35] | But when you think about it, | 但是仔细想想 |
| [19:37] | maybe we stumbled into an even better tradition. | 或许我们无意间创造了一个更好的传统 |
| [19:43] | You’re not surrounded by a lot of relatives… | 你没能跟七大姑八大姨围在一起讲八卦 |
| [19:47] | but you’re surrounded by people who helped you out | 可你跟这些挺你到底的人们在一起 |
| [19:50] | and stuck around when things started to really fall apart. | 即使世界都崩盘 他们仍在你身边 |
| [19:54] | Here we go, everyone. | 开动吧 大家伙儿 |
| [19:57] | Happy Thanksgiving. | 感恩节快乐 |
| [20:09] | They’re your real family. | 这些才是你真正的家人 |
| [20:12] | Not so much the people who kidnap you. | 不是那俩绑架你的屎人 |
| [20:15] | Twice. | 还绑架了两次 |
| [20:22] | *What are you thankful for* ? | 你为何感恩 |
| [20:26] | *Senoritas are thankful for senors * | 姑娘们因绅士们而感恩 |
| [20:30] | *Charlie Sheen is thankful for his whores * | 查理·辛因他的妓女而感恩 |
| [20:30] | 查理·辛 《好汉两个半》男主角 曾多次传出召妓丑闻 | |
| [20:34] | *My underwear is thankful for my * | 我的内衣因我的 |
| [20:36] | *Underwear drawer * | 内衣抽屉而感恩 |
| [20:38] | *What are you * | 你呢 |
| [20:39] | *A-thank for* ? | 你因何而感恩 |
| [20:42] | My daughter. | 我的亲亲女儿 |
| [20:45] | Uh, button-fly jeans! | 用纽扣而不是用拉链的牛仔裤 |
| [20:49] | I’m thankful Maw Maw’s still alive. | 我为奶奶还健在而感恩 |
| [20:55] | I’m thankful for gastric bypass surgery. | 我为胃绕道手术的存在而感恩 |
| [21:00] | I used to be 400 pounds. | 咱以前四百磅呢 |
| [21:03] | We’re thankful for gunpowder. | 我们为火药的发明而感恩 |
| [21:36] | Man, that is my cup! | 哇擦 哥还真在行啊 |
| [21:41] | Thanks for watching! | 谢谢观赏 |