| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:11] | Hop in. New guy gets the back, though. | 快进来 不过新来的得坐后面 |
| [00:14] | What do you got there? | 拿啥回来了 |
| [00:15] | A video camera. | 摄影机 |
| [00:16] | I bought it at a yard sale down the block. | 街区那头有家庭院旧货出售 我就去买了 |
| [00:18] | I’m gonna start making movies of Hope | 我要开始给喜旺录像了 |
| [00:19] | so she can watch ’em someday. | 以后她就能看到自己的成长趣事了 |
| [00:21] | I wish I had a video camera when I was younger. | 我年轻的时候要是有个摄影机就好了 |
| [00:23] | Those Jackass guys make so much money. | 那些混蛋太会赚钱了 |
| [00:25] | But I did all that stuff first. | 可我呢 |
| [00:27] | I drove a lawn mower into a pool. | 我把割草机开进了水池 |
| [00:29] | I had a Matchbox car inside me. | 我还吞过火柴盒做的小车 |
| [00:32] | Not on purpose, | 不是故意的 |
| [00:33] | but you wouldn’t know it watching the video. | 看录像的时候谁能注意那么多啊 |
| [00:34] | You know, you’re not gonna use | 知道不 你使用摄像机的机会 |
| [00:35] | that video camera as much as you think. | 不会如你想象的那么多的 |
| [00:37] | Oh, keep your hands in the back, Maw Maw. | 奶奶 手放后面 |
| [00:40] | It’s a back massage, not a mammogram. | 这是背部按摩 不是乳房检测 |
| [00:42] | You think it’s gonna be sentimental, | 你以为以后看录像会让人感动 |
| [00:44] | but the truth is it’s not, and everybody looks fat. | 其实不会 而且会把大家都拍得巨肥 |
| [00:46] | You’re great-Paw Paw Wilfred used to get in our faces | 你的好爷爷曾经拿着他的家庭摄影机 |
| [00:50] | with his stupid home movie camera all the time | 成天跟在我们屁股后面乱拍 |
| [00:53] | and we never watched any of it, and then he died. | 我们一部都没看过 然后他就归西了 |
| [00:56] | I’m not enjoying that. | 不舒服啊 |
| [00:58] | What… what the hell…? | 这 这啥情况 |
| [01:01] | Where are…? Who…? | 这是哪 你们… |
| [01:02] | Who are you people? | 你们是谁啊 |
| [01:04] | Wh-why are we touching each other? | 为啥我们在互相摸来摸去的 |
| [01:05] | Maw Maw, we’re your family, | 奶奶 淡定 我们是你的家人 |
| [01:07] | and we’re doing a back-rub train in your living room. | 我们正在你的客厅里做背式按摩 |
| [01:10] | It was your idea. | 还是你提议的呢 |
| [01:13] | I want to be in the front. | 我要坐前面 |
| [01:15] | – No! No way! – I want to be in the front. | -没门儿 -我要坐前面 |
| [01:17] | Maw Maw, we already decided on positions. | 奶奶 我们已经决定好位子了 |
| [01:19] | I did rock, Virginia did scissors, | 我出了石头 维吉妮亚除了剪刀 |
| [01:20] | and you did something that looked like a turtle, | 你出了个看似乌龟的手势 |
| [01:22] | which caused a very long discussion | 这还引发了长时间的争论 |
| [01:24] | during which you spit on me twice. | 期间你还朝我吐了两次口水 |
| [01:26] | But then we agreed, by a vote of two to one, | 但我们还是二比一决定了 |
| [01:28] | that rock beats turtle. | 石头战胜了乌龟 |
| [01:29] | Burt, let her get in the front. | 伯特 让她坐前面去 |
| [01:31] | No, she always gets what she wants just | 不 她总是心想事成 |
| [01:33] | ’cause she’s crazy. | 就因为她是疯的 |
| [01:34] | Then everybody get out of my house. | 那所有人都滚出我的房子 |
| [01:36] | You’re only gonna remember it’s your house for two minutes, | 最多两分钟 你就不记得这是你的房子了 |
| [01:39] | and I can wait. | 我可以等 |
| [01:40] | Get out of my house! Get out of my house! | 滚出我的房子 滚出我的房子 |
| [01:42] | Get out of my house! | 给老娘滚 |
| [01:43] | Do you want to get your camera out | 这种画面你也想拍么 |
| [01:44] | for some of this, Scorcheesy? | 大摄影家 |
| [01:54] | Oh, come on, Hope. | 来啊 喜旺 |
| [01:56] | Shake the rattle for Daddy. | 给爹地摇摇这个球球 |
| [01:57] | Don’t be shy. | 别害羞 |
| [01:59] | Oh, here comes Grandma | 奶奶来啦 |
| [02:00] | to read you your favorite book. | 来给你读你最爱的故事书了 |
| [02:02] | Oh, no, do not point that thing at me. | 打住 别用那东西对着我 |
| [02:05] | My hair’s a wreck, my shirt is a mess… | 我衣冠不整 我满头凌乱 |
| [02:09] | You caught me on bleaching day. | 你居然在漂白日拍我 |
| [02:10] | Give me that camera! | 相机给我 |
| [02:12] | That’s the real you, and it’s a memory I want her to have! | 这是真实的你 这是我希望她拥有的回忆 |
| [02:15] | Well, I do not want to be filmed like this, | 我可不想这德行上镜 |
| [02:18] | so give me that camera! | 快把相机给我 |
| [02:22] | She’s doing it! She’s doing it! | 她摇了 她摇了 |
| [02:29] | Come on. | 喜旺乖 |
| [02:30] | Put the spaghetti on your head like you did last week. | 像上周那样 把面条放你头上 |
| [02:33] | You’d look like Bob Marley. | 超有鲍伯·马利的范儿 |
| [02:33] | 鲍伯·马利 牙买加民族英雄 具体造型请自行搜之 | |
| [02:34] | Only you’ll be a Pastafarian. | 不过你更像是飞天面条怪教徒 |
| [02:34] | 一种讽刺性的虚构宗教 有兴趣的可继续搜之… | |
| [02:36] | It’ll be hilarious. Come on. | 会很有喜感的 来嘛 |
| [02:39] | Hey, Jimmy, can you put that down for a second? | 吉米 把那玩意儿放下一会行吗 |
| [02:41] | Not now. I think I might finally get something good here. | 现在不行 我感觉总算要拍到点精彩的了 |
| [02:43] | It’s kind of serious. | 这事很严肃的 |
| [02:48] | I was at the grocery story today and I saw Sabrina. | 我今天在杂货店遇到了塞布丽娜 |
| [02:51] | She was looking really happy. | 她看起来非常开心 |
| [02:53] | And there’s no easy way to say it. | 我本来不忍心说的 |
| [02:55] | She got engaged to Wyatt. | 她跟怀特订婚了 |
| [03:01] | Oh, man, um… | 哦天啊 呃… |
| [03:04] | I just… | 我… |
| [03:07] | I thought there’d be more time. | 我以为我还有时间 |
| [03:11] | I-I don’t believe this. | 我 我无法相信 |
| [03:14] | It feels like I’ve been punched in the gut. | 感觉像被人掏心挖肺似的 |
| [03:16] | I know. It’s rough. | 我懂 很痛苦的 |
| [03:18] | She asked me to give you this. | 她让我把这个转交给你 |
| [03:23] | Oh, got ya! | 呜哈 得手了 |
| [03:25] | Punk’d and Jackassed. | 废物加蠢蛋 |
| [03:26] | Two for one, baby! Two for one! | 二比一啊宝贝 二比一 |
| [03:28] | Oh, wait till people see this. | 等人们看到这一幕吧 |
| [03:33] | Whoa, I think she just gave me the finger! | 哈哈 她貌似对我竖中指了 |
| [03:36] | I know she doesn’t know what it means, | 我知道她不懂那是啥意思 |
| [03:38] | but how cool. She just flipped me the baby bird. | 可这也太酷了 她居然冲我竖起了小爪子 |
| [03:41] | Oh, my God, where’s my camera? | 哦天 我的摄影机呢 |
| [03:44] | This is gonna be good! | 总算要有好画面了 |
| [03:46] | All right, Jimmy, you have my permission to tape me | 好了吉米 我允许你拍我了 |
| [03:49] | as soon as I get in the kitchen and pretend to bake. | 一会我去厨房 假装在烤面包 |
| [03:50] | Okay. Just want to get a shot of Hope. | 好 我先拍一下喜旺 |
| [03:54] | Oh, you got your camera out, Wilfred. | 威尔弗雷德 你又要录像了啊 |
| [03:57] | Ooh, let me do my song. | 太好了 我要唱歌 |
| [03:58] | No, no, no, Maw Maw, can you wait a second? | 不不不 曾奶奶 等会好吗 |
| [04:00] | I just… I’m in the middle of… | 我正忙着… |
| [04:06] | maw Maw, please? | 曾奶奶 拜托 |
| [04:08] | You’re distracting Hope. | 你让喜旺分心了 |
| [04:10] | Jimmy swing the camera around here. | 吉米 镜头对着这边 |
| [04:13] | And get me in a full shot. | 给我来个全景 |
| [04:15] | I got these shoes at a very wealthy family’s garage sale. | 我从一家超级富豪手里买的二手货 |
| [04:20] | Oh, my God! | 妈妈咪呀 |
| [04:21] | Did you get it on tape? | 录下来了吗 |
| [04:23] | I buttered the floor. | 我在地上涂了黄油 |
| [04:25] | Ow, Burt, you really hurt me, you idiot! | 伯特 老娘真被摔疼了 你个白痴 |
| [04:28] | Sorry, baby. | 对不住了 宝贝 |
| [04:29] | Did you get it on tape? | 录下来了吗 |
| [04:30] | Mom, are you okay? | 妈 你没事吧 |
| [04:32] | Help me up. | 拉我起来 |
| [04:34] | I got it. I got it. | 拍到了拍到了 |
| [04:39] | I got it! I got it! | 拍到了拍到了 |
| [04:42] | You were right. It totally worked. | 你说对了 他真上当了 |
| [04:55] | Well, I’ve had the video camera for a week now | 这摄影机我已经买了一周了 |
| [04:57] | and all I have to show for it | 拍到的只有 |
| [04:59] | is five hours of Maw Maw singing | 曾奶奶唱了五个小时的歌 |
| [05:00] | and a bunch of your Grandpa’s stunts. | 还有你爷爷耍了一堆绝活 |
| [05:03] | I call this one, “Burt Touches Hot Things.” | 这段录像机叫 “伯特找烫特辑” |
| [05:45] | Anyway, I think I finally figured out | 不废话了 我觉得我总算想到 |
| [05:47] | how to get some good stuff. | 怎么拍点好作品了 |
| [05:49] | Since everybody acts so crazy when they know they’re being recorded, | 既然大伙儿一看到镜头就发疯 |
| [05:52] | the only way to capture some real memories | 要想留下你跟爷爷奶奶的真实回忆 |
| [05:54] | with you and your grandparents is to hide the camera. | 唯一的办法就只有把摄像机藏起来了 |
| [06:04] | Have you seen the black light that we use to check for counterfeit bills? | 你看到我们用来验钞的紫外线灯了吗 |
| [06:08] | Somehow, Frank accepted a $70 bill | 不知道为啥 弗兰克居然收了张70美元 |
| [06:08] | 1.美元没有70元面值的 2.瑞安·西克莱斯特为《美国偶像》主持人 | |
| [06:10] | with Ryan Seacrest’s face on it. | 上面还有瑞安·西克莱斯特的头像 |
| [06:11] | Yeah, I think it’s in Barney’s top drawer. | 应该在巴尼最上面的抽屉里 |
| [06:15] | What are you watching? | 你看啥呢 |
| [06:16] | Oh, I hid a camera in my house, | 我在家里藏了个摄影机 |
| [06:17] | and I got all this great stuff. | 拍下了这些美好的画面 |
| [06:31] | That is so cute. | 太有爱了 |
| [06:33] | I know, right? | 我知道 有爱吧 |
| [06:34] | I should have hidden this camera, like, a week ago. | 早知道一周前就把相机藏起来了 |
| [06:36] | I would have gotten all this great stuff | 那早就能拍到这些好东西了 |
| [06:37] | and my parents wouldn’t have electrocuted me so many times. | 而且也不会被我爹妈电刑那么多次了 |
| [06:41] | Oh, my God, | 天啊 |
| [06:43] | that’s disgusting. | 太恶心了 |
| [06:44] | What’s disgusting? | 什么太恶心了 |
| [06:45] | Rewind the tape. | 倒回去一点 |
| [06:48] | Wait. Right there. | 停 就是这儿 |
| [06:58] | There we go. | 来吧 |
| [07:01] | Oh, my God. | 受不了了 |
| [07:03] | What? | 咋了 |
| [07:05] | Your mother dropped Hope’s pacifier on the ground | 你妈把喜旺的奶嘴掉地上了 |
| [07:07] | and then picked it up and put it back in her mouth. | 然后她捡起来又塞回喜旺嘴里了 |
| [07:09] | So? Five-second rule. No germs. | 那又怎样 五秒定律嘛 没有细菌 |
| [07:09] | [五秒定律]非常流行的客套话 指如果食物掉到地上 在五秒钟内捡起来就不会沾染细菌 | |
| [07:12] | You do know the five-second rule isn’t real? | 你知道五秒定律是扯蛋的吧 |
| [07:17] | You don’t know the five-second rule isn’t real. | 你不知道五秒定律是扯蛋的 |
| [07:19] | In one second, that pacifier could have picked up cold germs, | 不到一秒 那奶嘴就有可能沾上感冒细菌 |
| [07:22] | flu germs, SARS, flesh-eating bacteria. | 流感病毒 非典细菌 甚至食肉菌 |
| [07:25] | I’m starting to think you got a little bit of a germ thing. | 我觉得你是不是有点洁癖啊 |
| [07:27] | No, I don’t. | 不 我没有 |
| [07:38] | Fine. I may have a little thing about germs. | 好吧 我可能是有点洁癖 |
| [07:41] | Am I proud of it? No. | 我骄傲么 没有 |
| [07:43] | But do I ignore the facts that germs run the world | 可我会否认这世界的本质其实是 |
| [07:45] | and that we’re at their mercy? | “菌为刀俎 人为鱼肉”吗 |
| [07:47] | No, I do not. | 不 我绝不否认 |
| [07:47] | I’m really learning a lot about you. | 我从你这儿真没少长见识啊 |
| [07:49] | Jimmy, think about it. | 吉米 仔细想想吧 |
| [07:51] | Whatever we walk through, we bring into our homes. | 咱可是”万花丛中过 片片带回家”啊 |
| [07:54] | I never thought about that. | 这我还真没想过 |
| [07:56] | My dad works in yards | 我老爸是剪草坪的 |
| [07:57] | full of fertilizer and dog poop. | 那儿可遍布着化肥和狗粪啊 |
| [08:00] | Stop it! | 听不下去了 |
| [08:01] | That was on the pacifier. | 那些可都沾到奶嘴上了 |
| [08:03] | And my mom, she cleans dirty houses all day. | 还有我老妈 她一天到晚帮人收拾脏东西 |
| [08:05] | She… she scrubs their toilets. | 她…她还刷马桶 |
| [08:08] | Stop it! | 够了 |
| [08:12] | So you’re spying on us? | 你居然监视我们 |
| [08:14] | I don’t know what to say. | 我词穷了 |
| [08:16] | I mean, thou shalt not spy. | 我是说 “禁止监视” |
| [08:18] | That’s like one of the Declarations of the Independence. | 这应该算《独立宣言》里的一条了吧 |
| [08:20] | Burt, next time just stop at | 伯特 下次你就停在 |
| [08:21] | “I don’t know what to say.” | “我词穷了”就挺好 |
| [08:22] | You don’t need to prove it to everyone. | 不用非得证明你有多词穷 |
| [08:23] | I wasn’t spying. | 我那不是监视 |
| [08:25] | I was trying to capture memories. | 我只是想留住点回忆 |
| [08:26] | This, this is a big problem, guys. | 结果 我发现一个大问题 |
| [08:28] | I mean, we are talking about germs. | 我们在说的是 细菌 |
| [08:30] | Germs! | 细菌啊 |
| [08:32] | Now that Hope’s here, | 既然咱们要好好养活喜旺 |
| [08:33] | we have to just clean up our act! | 咱就得洗心革面 重新做人 |
| [08:35] | Oh, God! You are not gonna turn us into | 老天爷 你不会想让我们也变成 |
| [08:38] | one of those germ-freak families | 那种对一点细菌就大惊小怪 |
| [08:40] | that thinks their babies have to live inside a bubble. | 恨不能把自家娃生养在真空泡泡里的家庭吧 |
| [08:42] | Covering everything with that gross antibacterial goop, | 还要把所有东西都抹上黏糊糊的抗菌液 |
| [08:46] | and washing your hands after going number one? | 每次撒完尿还得洗个手 |
| [08:48] | Never swapping gum? It’s crazy. | 口香糖也不能换着吃 你要疯啊 |
| [08:50] | It is! Babies are the ones who sit in their poop all day | 没错 婴儿才是那种整天与便便为伍 |
| [08:54] | and put anything they can touch into their mouths. | 见着什么都要往嘴里塞一下的小东西 |
| [08:56] | They’re the disgusting ones. | 他们比谁都恶心 |
| [08:58] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [09:00] | What’s that? | 啥鬼东西 |
| [09:01] | It’s a black light. | 紫外线灯 |
| [09:02] | We use it at work to check for counterfeit bills, | 我们平时用它验假钞 |
| [09:04] | but Sabrina says we can also use it to find germs. | 不过塞布丽娜说这玩意儿还能照出细菌 |
| [09:13] | See? Germs. | 看到没 细菌啊 |
| [09:16] | So it’s a little dirty. Big deal. | 不就是有点脏嘛 有什么啊 |
| [09:18] | Jimmy, if you think I’m gonna clean houses | 吉米 要是你觉得我不仅得在外面 |
| [09:20] | all day and then come home and… | 整天收拾屋子 还得回家收拾… |
| [09:22] | Germs. | 细菌啊 |
| [09:23] | Look, you’re overreacting. | 听着 你太大惊小怪了 |
| [09:25] | What the hell is that? | 这是啥鬼东西 |
| [09:27] | Germs. | 赤果果的细菌啊 |
| [09:28] | Burt, what have you been doing with your fingers? | 伯特 你都用你的手指干嘛啊 |
| [09:30] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
| [09:32] | I mean, other than picking my nose a little bit | 也就是下班回家的路上 |
| [09:34] | on the way home from work. | 抠抠鼻屎什么的 |
| [09:35] | With all of your fingers?! | 用十个手指抠鼻屎 |
| [09:37] | I like to mix it up! | 我喜欢混合抠法 |
| [09:38] | Different ones get to different places. It’s a habit! | 不同的手指抠不同的部位 这是习惯 |
| [09:41] | I’m not proud of it. | 我没觉得骄傲 |
| [09:42] | Well, that is just gross. | 这可真够恶心的 |
| [09:43] | And I sincerely hope that the next time you… | 我发自肺腑地希望下次你能… |
| [09:47] | What the hell is that? | 这又是啥玩意儿 |
| [09:48] | Germs. Germs you bring home from cleaning toilets. | 细菌啊 你刷马桶弄的细菌 |
| [09:51] | That is disgusting. Turn that off. | 我要吐了 把这破玩意儿关了 |
| [09:52] | Turn that thing off! | 马上给我关了 |
| [09:58] | Oh, this is even worse. | 现在更杯具了 |
| [09:59] | They’re still here, but we can’t see them. | 它们无处不在 可我们连看都看不见了 |
| [10:03] | They’re hiding. | 它们藏起来了 |
| [10:04] | They’re hiding in plain sight. | 它们光天化日地藏起来了 |
| [10:07] | I never thought I’d say this on my day off: | 我从没想过会在休息日讲这句台词 |
| [10:12] | Get me a bucket and a mop. | 把水桶和墩布拿来 |
| [10:28] | *Everybody is waiting for everybody to get out* | *人人都想随大流* |
| [10:33] | *And all the pretty people party* | *漂亮人儿去派对* |
| [10:35] | *While the petty people pout… whoa-oa-oa* | *抠门家伙撅起嘴* |
| [10:39] | *Picking it up, but then I put it back down* | *洗刷刷 洗刷刷 洗刷刷* |
| [10:42] | *Picking it up, but then I put it back down* | *洗刷刷 洗刷刷 洗刷刷* |
| [10:45] | *Picking it up, but then I put it back down* | *洗刷刷 洗刷刷 洗刷刷* |
| [10:50] | *Picking it up, but then I put it back down* | *洗刷刷 洗刷刷 洗刷刷* |
| [10:53] | *Picking it up, but then I put it back down* | *洗刷刷 洗刷刷 洗刷刷* |
| [10:56] | *Picking it up, but then I put it back down* | *洗刷刷 洗刷刷 洗刷刷* |
| [11:03] | Oh, what’s going on? | 这啥情况 |
| [11:05] | Now that you got me all worked up, | 既然你让我彻底收拾干净 |
| [11:06] | I’m not gonna trust your rinky-dink grocery store black light | 我就不能再用你那小破杂货店的紫外线灯 |
| [11:09] | to see if we got rid of all the germs in here. | 来验证这里的除菌效果了 |
| [11:12] | I borrowed this from my friend | 我从一个专门清理犯罪现场的姐们那儿 |
| [11:13] | who cleans crime scenes. | 借了这玩意儿 |
| [11:14] | Heidi? | 是海蒂么 |
| [11:16] | How the hell is Heidi? | 海蒂现在过得咋样 |
| [11:17] | She’s good. | 她挺好的 |
| [11:18] | Apparently, the murder business is recession-proof. | 她们谋杀业明显不怕经济衰退 |
| [11:20] | She just bought a PT Cruiser. | 她刚买了一辆克莱斯勒漫游者轿车 |
| [11:22] | Used? | 二手的 |
| [11:22] | Nope. Certified Pre-Owned. | 不 原厂认证的 |
| [11:25] | Yeah? Good for Heidi. | 哟呵 海蒂不错嘛 |
| [11:27] | All right, hit the lights. Let’s see how we did. | 好了 把灯关上 看看咱的劳动成果 |
| [11:32] | We did it. | 咱太牛了 |
| [11:34] | It’s clean. | 清洁溜溜 |
| [11:35] | I don’t believe it. | 真不敢相信 |
| [11:36] | We actually got this place germ-free. | 咱居然把这屋子弄得一菌不染了 |
| [11:38] | I got to admit, it feels pretty good. | 我得承认 这感觉很不赖 |
| [11:53] | Keep it down! | 别吵吵了 |
| [11:55] | I’m gonna take a nap. | 我得小憩一会儿 |
| [11:57] | My room smells of farts. | 我屋里总有股屁臭味 |
| [12:00] | Burt, get her off the couch! | 伯特 把她从沙发上拉起来 |
| [12:02] | Oh, come on. | 过来 |
| [12:04] | Your room can’t be that bad. Come on. | 你房间也没那么差啦 来吧 |
| [12:07] | Oh, good Lord, she’s infecting everything. | 我勒个去 到处都被她污染了 |
| [12:09] | Dad, your hands. | 老爸 你的爪子 |
| [12:13] | Don’t wipe Maw Maw on me. | 别摸了奶奶又蹭我身上 |
| [12:15] | Guys, we’ve got to get her out of here | 伙计们 在她用细菌把屋子践踏完之前 |
| [12:16] | before she gets germs everywhere. | 咱得赶紧把她挪走 |
| [12:20] | Okay. Come on, Maw Maw. | 好了 过来 奶奶 |
| [12:23] | Why don’t we go for a walk. | 咱去遛个弯儿好不 |
| [12:24] | You can point out all the things God messed up, | 你可以讲讲上帝是怎么折腾万物的 |
| [12:26] | you know, like you like to do. | 就像你平时喜欢唠叨的那样 |
| [12:28] | What was he thinking of, | 他是咋想的啊 |
| [12:30] | making up all those different kinds of trees. | 创造出这么多种类的树来干毛啊 |
| [12:33] | I would’ve stopped at pine. | 换我的话 造出个松树就可以收手了 |
| [12:46] | Is it bad? | 很杯具吗 |
| [12:48] | It’s not good! | 反正不太好 |
| [12:55] | She just touched a spoon. | 她拿了把勺子 |
| [12:58] | No, wait. | 不 等等 |
| [13:00] | She’s putting it back in the drawer. | 她又把它放回抽屉了 |
| [13:02] | Oh, great. All the silverware’s gonna be all germed up now. | 这下好了 所有餐具都会被污染了 |
| [13:05] | You can put that on the list. | 赶紧记下来吧 |
| [13:07] | It’s no use even trying. | 记个屁啊记 |
| [13:08] | She’s getting herself on everything. | 她无所不碰 |
| [13:09] | What are we gonna do now? | 现在咋办 |
| [13:11] | You know, Hope’s gonna wake up in the morning | 喜旺早上就会醒了 |
| [13:12] | and one of us is gonna have to go in there and get her. | 咱们中得有一个人冲进去救她出来 |
| [13:14] | We could rock-paper-scissors for it. | 那咱还是剪刀石头布吧 |
| [13:16] | But I need to know up front | 但得事先说好 |
| [13:17] | if turtles are allowed, | 这把能不能出”乌龟” |
| [13:18] | and if so, where they fall in the food chain. | 要是能出 那”乌龟”和其他三样啥关系 |
| [13:20] | It doesn’t matter who goes in there. | 谁进去都无所谓 |
| [13:22] | This problem is not gonna go away. | 还是不能解决本质问题 |
| [13:25] | We can’t clean fast enough to keep up with her, | 咱的清理速度永远赶不上她践踏的铁蹄 |
| [13:27] | and she’s not gonna be changing her habits. | 而且她也不会洗心革面了 |
| [13:29] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [13:31] | I know this sounds awful to say, | 我知道这么说太没人性了 |
| [13:35] | but under the circumstances, uh… | 但是现在这种情况下… |
| [13:38] | I-I mean, I know none of us would ever dream of it | 我是说 如果不是被逼无奈 |
| [13:41] | if it wasn’t the only option, | 咱们谁也不会想这么做 |
| [13:42] | but maybe it’s time to consider | 不过 也许现在是时机… |
| [13:45] | if she might not be better off, | 考虑是不是应该 |
| [13:47] | you know… | 你们懂的 |
| [13:50] | …in a home. | 送她去敬老院 |
| [13:53] | Are you crazy? | 疯了吧你 |
| [13:54] | Jimmy, the woman tried to bite off | 吉米 那婆娘曾想 |
| [13:56] | one of your father’s toes while he was sleeping. | 趁你爹睡觉的时候咬掉他一根脚趾 |
| [13:58] | You think we haven’t tried to put her in a home? | 你以为咱俩没考虑过送她去敬老院吗 |
| [14:01] | Seriously? | 真的假的 |
| [14:02] | Of course. | 当然 |
| [14:03] | What, you think I want to sleep in boots the rest of my life? | 咋的 你以为我想一辈子都睡靴子里不成 |
| [14:06] | So what happened? | 那咋没送她去 |
| [14:07] | Well, it turns out, | 这个嘛 结果表明 |
| [14:08] | they don’t admit people who are already senile. | 他们不接受年事过高的老人 |
| [14:11] | We took her on a day where she was particularly lucid, | 我们趁她清醒那天火速把她带去的 |
| [14:13] | but still didn’t go well. | 结果还是悲催了 |
| [14:16] | Well, Barbara June, I see you like to knit. | 好的 芭芭拉·琼 看来你喜欢织东西啊 |
| [14:20] | I love to knit. | 我超爱织东西的 |
| [14:22] | It’s true. | 真的 |
| [14:23] | – She knitted me these socks. – I did. | -俺这袜子就是她织的 -如假包换 |
| [14:26] | Yeah, she does so much for us. | 是啊 她为我们做了各种贡献 |
| [14:28] | It’s such a shame we’ll have to lose her to you. | 把她丢给你们 我们真是各种脸红 |
| [14:30] | And I see you were in the USO. | 简历上说 你还在劳军联合组织待过 |
| [14:33] | Yes, I’m still in the USO. | 是啊 我现在也在劳军联啊 |
| [14:35] | Really? | 是吗 |
| [14:39] | You still think you’re in the USO? | 你觉得你还在劳军联 |
| [14:42] | Once a member, always a member. | 一朝成追忆 永世不忘记 |
| [15:09] | That man was on fire. | 他刚才着火了 |
| [15:14] | Well, w-we have to do something. | 那 那也得采取点措施啊 |
| [15:16] | I’m not gonna raise my daughter in a house filled with germs. | 我可不能让我闺女在个满是细菌的屋里长大 |
| [15:19] | Maybe we should scrub Maw Maw down with something stronger. | 不如找点强效的东西把奶奶好好洗洗吧 |
| [15:23] | What does your friend use to clean up a murder scene? | 你朋友清理犯罪现场用的啥装备 |
| [15:25] | Well, it’s still gonna wear off. | 洗了也还会再脏啊 |
| [15:27] | What, are we gonna soak her in it like combs at a barbershop? | 总不能一天到晚都把她泡在清洁液里吧 |
| [15:30] | She wouldn’t have to soak in it. | 不用天天泡着 |
| [15:32] | We could just build a mister with an electric eye, | 咱只要弄个电子眼先生 |
| [15:35] | so she triggers it every time she walks through. | 要是看到她脏了就会触发警报 |
| [15:37] | We can’t be the first people who’ve had to deal with this. | 咱肯定不是第一家遇到这种问题的 |
| [15:39] | I bet we could find one on your Internet. | 在网上肯定能淘到 |
| [15:42] | Well, what if we just lock her in her room? | 能不能就把她关在房间里 |
| [15:44] | I mean, to us, it’s just one room, | 对咱们来说 那只是个房间 |
| [15:45] | but to her, every day it’s a brand-new place. | 可对她来说 每天都是个崭新的乐园啊 |
| [15:48] | We can’t lock her indoors for the rest of her life. | 总不能永远把她锁在房间里吧 |
| [15:51] | That’s cruel. | 太残忍了 |
| [15:52] | She loves nature. | 她热爱自然 |
| [15:54] | It’s the only thing as old as she is. | 只有自然才跟她一样沧桑 |
| [15:57] | She does love nature. | 没错 她爱自然 |
| [15:59] | I think I got it. | 我有办法了 |
| [16:01] | And that’s when we packed up all of Maw Maw’s stuff | 于是我们将曾奶奶的东西打包 |
| [16:04] | and moved her to the greenhouse. | 把她搬进了花房里 |
| [16:09] | So this is what zoos will be like | 如果人猿当了老大 |
| [16:12] | when the apes take over. | 这就是动物园的真实写照了 |
| [16:16] | Cool. | 很酷嘛 |
| [16:27] | Ah, it’s been great having her out here. | 把她搬出来简直太妙了 |
| [16:30] | Now we can finally see what she’s been doing | 现在咱们终于能看到 |
| [16:31] | alone in her room all the time. | 她独自在房里时都会干些啥了 |
| [16:37] | That was not expected. | 没看出来啊 |
| [16:39] | Ah, she used to be a cheerleader for the Baltimore Colts. | 她以前可是巴尔的摩小马队的啦啦队长 |
| [16:41] | Ah! Damn it! | 嗷 我擦 |
| [16:43] | Burt! | 伯特 |
| [16:44] | What is wrong with you?! | 疯了啊你 |
| [16:50] | Hey, what the hell happened? | 咋回事 |
| [16:52] | We were trying to move Maw Maw’s trunk out to the greenhouse, | 我们想把奶奶的大箱子搬去花房 |
| [16:55] | and soon as I picked up my end, | 结果我刚抬起我这边 |
| [16:56] | your idiot father decides to throw a spider on my face. | 你的大傻爹就往我脸上扔了个蜘蛛 |
| [17:00] | It wasn’t a spider. | 不是普通蜘蛛 |
| [17:01] | It was a daddy longlegs. | 是只长脚蜘蛛 |
| [17:03] | And it was already dead. | 而且已经死了 |
| [17:05] | Her hands were full, | 正好她抬着箱子空不出手 |
| [17:07] | the bug was right there. | 正好那虫子就在那挂着 |
| [17:08] | Anyone in their right mind would’ve done the same thing. | 任何有理智的人都会做出同样的事吧 |
| [17:11] | Wouldn’t it be easier to move if you emptied it out first? | 先清空箱子再搬不是会轻松点吗 |
| [17:13] | We’re kind of afraid to find out what’s in there. | 咱俩有点不敢看里面有些啥东西 |
| [17:16] | They never found the Limburger baby, you know. | 林堡家的孩子一直都没找到呢 |
| [17:18] | Okay, hold your breath. | 好了 屏住呼吸 |
| [17:21] | I’ll open it. | 我来打开 |
| [17:32] | What is it? | 这是啥啊 |
| [17:34] | It’s all those stupid movies Paw Paw made. | 是爷爷以前录的录像 |
| [17:42] | Check it out, baby. | 瞧啊 宝贝 |
| [17:44] | Your eighth birthday. | 你的八岁生日 |
| [17:47] | There she is, Jimmy; your mom, seven years B.B. | 吉米快看 你老妈 七岁大的小宝贝 |
| [17:51] | Before Burt. | 当初还没邂逅伯特 |
| [17:55] | Hey, there’s Maw Maw. | 是曾奶奶 |
| [17:57] | Hey, Maw Maw, you look great. | 曾奶奶 你很靓啊 |
| [18:00] | Yeah, you look like the horny neighbor from Mary Tyler Moore. | 就像玛丽·泰勒·摩尔演过的那个性感女邻居 |
| [18:00] | 玛丽·泰勒·摩尔 美国著名老牌女星 具体图片请再次搜之 | |
| [18:06] | Hey, hey, is that that Beverly Johnson girl? | 那女孩是贝弗利·约翰逊吗 |
| [18:09] | Used to play baseball with her brother Wally. | 以前常跟她哥哥沃利一起玩棒球 |
| [18:11] | He had a two-inch belly button. | 那小子的肚脐有两英寸长呢 |
| [18:12] | We used to call him Wiener Belly Button. | 我们以前称之为”维也纳香肠肚脐” |
| [18:16] | No, that’s not Beverly. | 不 那不是贝弗利 |
| [18:18] | That’s Janice Bolton. | 那是珍妮丝·博尔顿 |
| [18:20] | She was always talking about how she was gonna be | 她以前老是自吹自擂地说 |
| [18:22] | way richer than me. | 她以后肯定比我富得多 |
| [18:24] | Turns out, she was right about me not having any money. | 事实证明 她说我会没钱还真说对了 |
| [18:27] | On the other hand, she’s dead now, so who won that one? | 不过她现在已经死了 还真不好说谁赢了 |
| [18:34] | That’s Paula Prozel. | 那是宝拉·普罗赛 |
| [18:36] | A few years ago, I saw her fall out of a moving car | 几年前 我在杂货店的停车场里 |
| [18:39] | in the grocery store parking lot. | 看见她从辆开动的车里摔出来了 |
| [18:41] | She looked good though. | 不过看上去还不赖 |
| [18:49] | Whoo, who is the stud in the suit? | 穿那西装的是哪个傻老爷们儿啊 |
| [18:52] | That’s my Paw Paw. | 是我爷爷 |
| [18:56] | He worked seven days a week and never missed a birthday. | 他一周工作七天 却没错过我任何一次生日 |
| [19:17] | I know you’re all looking at me. | 我知道你们都在看我 |
| [19:20] | Fine, you’re all right. | 好好好 你们是对的 |
| [19:22] | Happy? | 行了吧 |
| [19:23] | You can tape Hope all you want, just… | 喜旺你们想咋拍就咋拍吧 |
| [19:27] | …not on bleaching day. | 不过漂白日不行 |
| [19:37] | Wait a second. | 慢着 |
| [19:38] | Maw Maw just licked that knife | 奶奶舔了那刀 |
| [19:41] | and then kept serving cake with it. | 然后继续拿来切蛋糕 |
| [19:48] | Gross. | 受不了了 |
| [20:06] | Well, there’s your proof. | 看出来了 |
| [20:08] | Our family’s been disgusting for generations. | 咱家是世代遗传的脏人 |
| [20:10] | That’s not my point. | 这不是重点 |
| [20:11] | How old is Maw Maw now? | 奶奶现在多大年纪了 |
| [20:12] | 84 Uh, 84. | |
| [20:14] | And how old was Paw Paw when he died? | 爷爷去世的时候多大年纪 |
| [20:16] | 90. And he’d still be here today | 90 要是那天他没戴自行车头盔 |
| [20:18] | if he just would’ve worn his bike helmet. | 现在应该还活蹦乱跳的呢 |
| [20:20] | And they hardly ever got sick. | 他们这么高龄 却几乎没生过病 |
| [20:23] | I haven’t been sick since I was pregnant with you, | 我从怀上你开始 也几乎没生过病 |
| [20:25] | and those were mostly hangovers. | 有几次不舒服也多半是因为宿醉 |
| [20:28] | I think the germs in this house aren’t hurting anybody. | 我想咱家人对细菌是免疫的 |
| [20:31] | Yeah, you’re right, they don’t. | 对啊 咱确实挺免疫的 |
| [20:33] | Sabrina, uh, you said your family’s | 塞布丽娜 你说你家人 |
| [20:35] | a whole bunch of clean freaks. | 都是群有洁癖的人 |
| [20:37] | How old’s your great-grandmother? | 你曾奶奶活了多大岁数 |
| [20:38] | Oh, she died in her 60s. | 她60岁就去世了 |
| [20:40] | Accident? | 出事故了 |
| [20:41] | Uh, respiratory problems. | 呼吸系统疾病 |
| [20:42] | That’s it. Burt, go get Maw Maw. | 明白了 伯特 去放奶奶出来 |
| [20:44] | She’s moving back in the house. | 她得搬回屋里住 |
| [20:46] | Good. | 好耶 |
| [20:47] | I’d like to get her back behind solid walls. | 她还是待在实体墙里为好 眼不见心不烦 |
| [20:49] | People in glass houses should not throw stones | 都住花房里了 真不该乱扔石头 |
| [20:51] | or sleep naked. | 还有裸睡 |
| [20:54] | Come on out, Pig-Pen. | 出来吧 小猪猪 |
| [20:56] | We missed you. | 我们想死你了 |
| [21:01] | Look at that. | 看啊 |
| [21:02] | You girls loved your hula hoops. | 你们都爱玩呼啦圈 |
| [21:05] | Oh, God. | 要了个亲命了 |
| [21:06] | Oh, don’t be prissy. | 别装矜持了 |
| [21:07] | It’s just a little spit. | 不就有点口水么 |
| [21:09] | That woman there is the darn fountain of youth. | 这位太太可是在喷洒青春之泉 |
| [21:13] | Oh, I remember our neighbor, | 我记得我们的邻居 |
| [21:16] | Eulah Cummings, used to hate hula hoops. | 尤拉·卡明斯 她以前超恨呼啦圈的 |
| [21:20] | gonna teach you girls | 她觉得呼啦圈会让你们 |
| [21:21] | to be whores. | 成为荡妇 |
| [21:24] | Mom, I think watching this stuff’s | 老妈 我觉得这些录像 |
| [21:26] | making her mind come back. | 貌似能让她恢复神志 |
| [21:28] | Yeah, she does seem sharp as a tack. | 是啊 她的确突然容光焕发了 |
| [21:32] | Oh, ice cream! | 嗷呜 冰激淋 |
| [21:43] | That was funny! | 太给力啦 |