| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:22] | Found a flip-flop! | 找到个人字拖 |
| [00:25] | Don’t need a flip-flop. I need a boot. | 我要的不是人字拖 是靴子 |
| [00:28] | I don’t see any boots, babe. | 我没看到哪儿有靴子 宝贝 |
| [00:30] | How do you keep losing shoes out here? | 你咋会丢了各种鞋在外面啊 |
| [00:32] | I heaved the boot to disrupt a pair of lovemaking kitty cats. | 我扔靴子去砸一对奸猫淫猫 |
| [00:35] | Male cat ran away. | 公猫夹着尾巴跑了 |
| [00:37] | Then I felt bad, so I put on my flip-flops | 我觉得有点过意不去 就套了双拖鞋 |
| [00:39] | and went outside to check on the female cat. | 出来看看母猫还好吗 |
| [00:41] | I wound up sitting there petting her for, like, an hour. | 我一直坐着爱抚了她大约一个小时 |
| [00:43] | And your flip-flop is still out here because… | 所以你的拖鞋会落在这儿是因为… |
| [00:46] | Male cat came back. | 后来公猫回来了 |
| [00:48] | Saw me touching his lady, he was pissed. | 正巧看到我在摸他的女人 怒不可遏 |
| [00:51] | I got scared. I ran back inside. | 我好怕怕 跑回了屋 |
| [00:52] | Must have lost it then. | 估计就是那时候落下的 |
| [00:54] | Why do you keep getting involved | 你怎么老和些 |
| [00:55] | in these situations with stray animals? | 猫猫狗狗的纠缠不清啊 |
| [00:57] | I don’t know, honey. Just bring me | 我也弄不懂啊宝贝 |
| [00:59] | the flip-flop. I’ll wear one of each. | 拖鞋给我吧 一样穿一只 |
| [01:04] | What is that? I don’t like that. | 那是啥玩意儿啊 我不喜欢 |
| [01:07] | I know it’s not the bald guy with the birthdays. | 我知道你喜欢看一群光头过生日的节目 |
| [01:09] | I found this channel with educational-ish stuff for Hope. | 可我发现这个频道的节目对喜旺有好处 |
| [01:12] | While most mongoose breeds work in cooperative groups, | 多数品种的猫鼬会选择分工合作 |
| [01:16] | the Kenyan pygmy mongoose is solitary, working alone. | 但肯尼亚侏儒猫鼬偏爱独来独往 |
| [01:21] | You get to see all the beauty and wonder of the world. | 你得看看世界上这些美景和奇观 |
| [01:24] | Watch here the extreme territorial aggression | 这里正在上演一场领土保卫战 |
| [01:27] | as this mongoose actually decapitates a rival. | 这只猫鼬正在与敌人恶斗 |
| [01:38] | Great, they’re both lefties. Now what? | 可恶 竟然都是左脚 这可咋办啊 |
| [01:41] | Honey, every morning this happens. | 老公 怎么每天早上都会发生这种事 |
| [01:43] | If it’s not a left boot, it’s a right work glove | 不是左靴子 就是右手套 |
| [01:46] | or one lens from your sunglasses. | 要么就是太阳镜的镜片什么的 |
| [01:48] | How do you not keep pairs of things together? | 你怎么就不能让他们出双入对呢 |
| [01:51] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
| [01:53] | It’s like a curse. | 可能被人下了咒 |
| [01:55] | What is that screeching from the living room? | 客厅里的尖叫声是啥情况 |
| [01:58] | It’s this show that scared Hope. | 那节目吓坏喜旺了 |
| [02:00] | It’s about these Kenyan pygmy things. | 是讲肯尼亚侏儒的 |
| [02:02] | Pygmies freak me out. | 我最怕侏儒了 |
| [02:04] | The women run around topless. | 那些女人真空着跑来跑去 |
| [02:06] | They look like little girls with knockers. | 像是装了门环的小女孩 |
| [02:11] | Maw Maw! | 奶奶 |
| [02:12] | This house was becoming infested with pygmy mongooses. | 房里刚出现大量侏儒猫鼬 |
| [02:17] | Give me that! | 那玩意儿给我 |
| [02:22] | Hey, there’s my boot! | 哦耶 找到靴子了 |
| [02:35] | Unbelievable! | 太不靠谱儿了 |
| [02:36] | Save it, Jimmy. | 省省吧 吉米 |
| [02:37] | The last thing anyone wants to hear is a lecture | 没人会想听什么 |
| [02:39] | about the dangers of gunshots in the house. | 室内枪支危险性讲座 |
| [02:41] | Really? ‘Cause I think the last thing anyone wants | 是吗 我倒觉得人们最不想听的 |
| [02:43] | to hear is gunshots in the house. | 就是室内发出枪声 |
| [02:45] | I’ll buy a gun safe. | 我去买个保险栓就是了 |
| [02:47] | But we are not gonna be one of those unarmed families | 但咱绝不能在2012面前 |
| [02:49] | that’s unprepared for 2012. | 毫无准备 |
| [02:51] | Ah-ah-ah, shh. The boy. | 嘘嘘嘘 他还是孩子 |
| [02:56] | What’s up? | 咋的 |
| [02:57] | What’s 2012? | 啥2012 |
| [02:59] | It’s nothing. It’s this crazy thing your mother heard | 没啥 就你妈从个碎嘴电台里 |
| [03:01] | from some nutty talk radio dude who’s been inside a UFO. | 某号称进过飞碟的人嘴里道听途说来的假消息 |
| [03:05] | No, the UFO was inside of him. | 错 是他的小宇宙里有个飞碟 |
| [03:08] | Dr. Sam says that in the year 2012, | 山姆博士说2012年 |
| [03:10] | the planets are going to align, | 全宇宙将结盟 |
| [03:12] | which will knock out the power grid, | 电力网将被销毁 |
| [03:14] | and then you’ll need a gun | 人人都得备支枪 |
| [03:15] | because the angry hordes will be rioting in the streets. | 以防那群愤青在大街上交火 |
| [03:18] | Why are the whores angry? | 妓女为啥要生气啊 |
| [03:19] | Yeah, if the power’s out, | 那当然啦 要是政权崩坍 |
| [03:20] | whore business probably skyrockets. | 她们生意就难做了 |
| [03:22] | You can scoff all you want, | 你们就尽情说笑吧 |
| [03:24] | but we’re talking about ancient wisdom here. | 我们可是在讨论古老的智慧 |
| [03:27] | The Mayan calendar only goes up to the year 2012. | 玛雅人的日历到2012就终止了 |
| [03:30] | Yeah, well, my Hot Girls on Snowmobiles calendar | 我的雪车挂历上的辣妹 |
| [03:33] | only goes up till December. | 到十二月也没了 |
| [03:34] | Does that mean the world’s gonna end? | 这是不是也说明世界末日要到了 |
| [03:35] | No, just means | 不 那只说明 |
| [03:36] | my Hot Girls on Tractors calendar’s on its way. | 该换拖拉机挂历看辣妹了 |
| [03:43] | No, no, don’t let anybody scare you over a 2012 apocalypse. | 千万千万别被2012的传言吓到了 |
| [03:46] | See? That’s exactly what I was thinking. | 就是 我也这么觉得 |
| [03:47] | I mean when there are so many everyday things | 每天有这么多事 |
| [03:49] | – that could kill you. – Right, exactly. | -随时随地可能就死了 -没错 |
| [03:52] | Wait. What? | 等等 你说啥 |
| [03:53] | People text while they drive through intersections. | 在十字路口边开车边发短信啦 |
| [03:56] | Radio waves messing up your brain. | 无线电波会扰乱大脑啦 |
| [03:58] | Hell, suburban mountain lion attacks are up 400%. | 还有 郊区美洲狮袭人案已经升至400%了 |
| [04:01] | Do you know how to fight a mountain lion? | 你知道碰上美洲狮该怎么打赢它吗 |
| [04:03] | I don’t. | 我可不会 |
| [04:04] | You can’t fight a mountain lion. | 你打不过它 |
| [04:05] | All you can do is lay back and go meet Jesus. | 你只能躺下 等着见上帝 |
| [04:08] | Amen, sister. I guess all you can do is make up a will | 阿门 姐们儿 我建议你立份遗嘱 |
| [04:11] | and hope you don’t need it. | 然后许愿别用上它 |
| [04:12] | Why would I make a will? | 我立遗嘱干嘛 |
| [04:13] | I don’t have anything valuable to leave. | 我没什么值钱的 |
| [04:14] | Because that’s where you say legally | 那样你才能合法指定 |
| [04:16] | who’s gonna take care of your daughter. | 由谁来抚养你女儿 |
| [04:17] | You didn’t make arrangements for your daughter? | 你还没为你女儿考虑身后事 |
| [04:20] | I ought to swat that fanny. | 我要打你的小屁屁了 |
| [04:23] | Please don’t. | 求求你 不要 |
| [04:25] | I can’t believe I’m spending a Saturday | 我居然会在周六 |
| [04:27] | at a lawyer’s office talking about death. | 跑来律师办公室讨论什么身后事 |
| [04:29] | Oh, sassafras. | 黄樟树 |
| [04:30] | Don’t think of this as a lawyer’s office. | 别把这儿当律师行 |
| [04:32] | Think of it as a pal’s pad | 就当是在朋友家 |
| [04:34] | where we can just sit down and chill | 坐下聊聊天 |
| [04:37] | and sign legal arrangements for when you croak. | 再签个亡故法律文件什么的 |
| [04:41] | Sit, sit. | 坐 坐 |
| [04:42] | I’ll put on some jazz. | 我来放点爵士乐 |
| [04:44] | And I have a great cheddar log with nuts. | 我再端点上好的坚果切达干酪来 |
| [04:47] | He does make the medicine go down easy. | 他还真挺会营造轻松的气氛啊 |
| [04:54] | The main thing is, if I’m gone, | 最主要的是 我要是死了 |
| [04:56] | I want to make sure that Hope is raised by these guys. | 我想让这些人抚养喜旺 |
| [04:58] | Her other grandparents may get out of prison by then, | 到时候他另一对祖父母估计也该出狱了 |
| [05:02] | and they’re a little off-putting. | 但交给他们不太合适 |
| [05:03] | That’s the prison. | 毕竟坐过牢 |
| [05:05] | Well, I’m a softie for convicts, | 尽管我本人对罪犯很宽容 |
| [05:07] | but I don’t fault you folks for being hinky. | 但我不会干涉你们的刻薄 |
| [05:10] | Now here’s a fun one. | 现在有个很微妙的问题 |
| [05:12] | Who will little Hope go to if all three of you die? | 要是你们仨都死了 谁来照顾小喜旺呢 |
| [05:16] | That is a fun one. | 的确挺微妙 |
| [05:17] | We hadn’t thought about that. | 我们还没考虑过 |
| [05:19] | A lot of people haven’t. | 多数人都没考虑过 |
| [05:21] | Well, take your time. | 好好想想吧 |
| [05:23] | I’m on the clock. | 时间算在里面 |
| [05:24] | Son-in-law made me this for Kwanzaa. | 这是我女婿宽扎节送我的 |
| [05:27] | I think it’s a hoot. | 我觉得像个汽笛 |
| [05:29] | Oh, and that is your actual bill. | 这里是你们的实际账单额 |
| [05:32] | What?! | 啥啥啥 |
| [05:34] | So, who’s your backup guardian? | 所以 你们的候补监护人选好了吗 |
| [05:37] | All right, think, think, think, think, think. | 好 快想快想想想想 |
| [05:39] | Give me a minute. Give me a minute. | 给我一分钟 一分钟 |
| [05:40] | Wait, wait, give me a minute. | 等等 再给我一分钟 |
| [05:41] | – I can’t think. – Hang on. | -我没法思考了 -等等 |
| [05:43] | Wait. I know this. | 我快想出来了 |
| [05:44] | Wait. Hang on. | 等等 等等 |
| [05:45] | Looking for a backup guardian. | 寻找候补监护人 |
| [05:48] | Ideally, someone under 50. | 年龄最好低于50 |
| [05:50] | We got to think of somebody to take care of Maw Maw, too. | 我们还得找人照顾曾奶奶 |
| [05:53] | Well, there’s no one on my side of the family, | 我家那边没人 |
| [05:54] | except my bitch skank whore cousin Delilah, | 除了个万人嫌的贱人表妹黛丽拉 |
| [05:57] | who I’m not very close to. | 我和她不亲近 |
| [05:59] | And if it’s a package deal with Maw Maw, | 要是把奶奶也打包进来 |
| [06:01] | you can count out everyone on my side of the family. | 那就别指望我那边的家人了 |
| [06:02] | No one wants her. | 没人会要她 |
| [06:04] | We even tried to donate her body to science, | 我们曾试过把她遗体捐给科学事业 |
| [06:06] | and science said no. | 结果人家不要 |
| [06:08] | No, we didn’t. | 胡说 我们没试过 |
| [06:09] | I know, but I thought of that joke, like, three months ago | 我知道 这笑话我想了三个月了 |
| [06:12] | and I was just waiting for a time to get it in. | 随时准备实践 |
| [06:13] | That was perfect. It’s funny, right? | 刚才太完美了 很搞笑吧 |
| [06:16] | It’s a little less funny knowing you’ve been sitting on it | 害您老憋了这么久才说真不太好 |
| [06:18] | for so long, but, yeah, it’s a good one. | 不过是挺搞笑的 |
| [06:22] | Oh, don’t mind that. | 别介意 |
| [06:23] | It just dings after every ten dollars. | 这东西每十美元叫一次 |
| [06:27] | Guys, we can do this. Concentrate. | 我们可以的 专注 |
| [06:30] | Okay, who do we know? | 我们还认识谁 |
| [06:33] | Sorry. I get the hiccups when I drink and I’m nervous. | 抱歉 我一紧张喝水就会打嗝 |
| [06:36] | Look, do this. | 听着 这样 |
| [06:37] | Put down “Sabrina.” | 就写 塞布丽娜 |
| [06:38] | Sabrina? She’s tiny. | 塞布丽娜 她那么瘦弱 |
| [06:41] | How’s she gonna handle the terrible twos | 要是等喜旺长大到都能推倒她了 |
| [06:43] | when Hope’s big enough to wrestle her to the ground? | 叫她怎么应付这一老一少 |
| [06:45] | He’s just hoping if he puts her down, | 他是指望着写了她名字 |
| [06:47] | she’ll like him more. | 她就会更喜欢他了 |
| [06:48] | You need to start thinking with your brain instead of your… | 你得开始用脑子思考而不是… |
| [06:52] | Forty dollars! | 40块 |
| [06:56] | Okay, okay, who else do we know? | 好吧 好吧 咱还认识谁 |
| [06:57] | Javier, Marcus, Shelley? Who?! | 哈维尔 马库斯 雪莉 选谁 |
| [07:00] | Chew it up and spit it into her mouth, baby-bird style. | 嚼碎了喂她 跟喂鸟一样 |
| [07:03] | – That’s gross. – It’s not gross! | -真恶心 -哪儿恶心了 |
| [07:05] | …43, 44, 45 to stay alive. | …43 44 45下才能活下来哦 |
| [07:12] | 1 2… One, two… | |
| [07:15] | I’m off to my Zogland role-player’s | 我要去玩星战的 |
| [07:17] | intergalactic war reenactment. | 角色扮演游戏了 |
| [07:19] | If you ever want me to babysit on a Saturday, | 要是你周六让我带孩子 |
| [07:21] | your daughter would make a great Molmee, the Child of Darkness. | 你闺女可以去演黑暗之子哦 |
| [07:26] | Damn, Jimmy, she’s gonna be hot, just like her mama. | 我去 吉米 她以后肯定跟她老妈一样辣 |
| [07:29] | Let’s see, when she’s 17, | 我想想 等她17岁的时候 |
| [07:32] | I will be… | 我就该… |
| [07:37] | I’m going with Sabrina Collins, final answer. | 我就选塞布丽娜·柯林斯了 最终决定 |
| [07:40] | Sabrina Collins it is. | 那就塞布丽娜·柯林斯吧 |
| [07:43] | But we have more paperwork. | 但我们还得签点文件 |
| [07:46] | Oh, man. Really? | 老兄 不是吧 |
| [07:48] | So, if you all die, Hope goes to Sabrina. | 那么 如果你们都死了 喜旺归塞布丽娜 |
| [07:52] | If just Jimmy and Burt die, | 如果只有吉米和伯特死了 |
| [07:54] | Hope goes to Virginia, right? | 喜旺就跟维吉妮亚 对吧 |
| [07:57] | And if just Jimmy and Virginia die, | 如果只有吉米和维吉妮亚死了 |
| [08:00] | – Hope goes to Burt. – Yes. | -喜旺就归伯特 -没错 |
| [08:04] | That’s right. | 必须的 |
| [08:07] | Virginia! Where’s my green sock?! | 维吉妮亚 我还有只绿袜子呢 |
| [08:17] | Virginia! | 维吉妮亚 |
| [08:19] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [08:22] | Virginia! | 维吉妮亚 |
| [08:24] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [08:26] | Virginia…! | 维吉妮亚… |
| [08:29] | You know, you guys are unbelievable. | 我说 你们也太过分了 |
| [08:32] | After all this time, you don’t have faith in me? | 都这么长时间了 你们对我连点信任都没有 |
| [08:34] | Well, I’m gonna tell you something. | 跟你们说 |
| [08:36] | I am a grown man. | 我是个成年人 |
| [08:38] | I could take care of Hope, | 我能照顾好喜旺 |
| [08:39] | and I can take care of myself. | 也能照顾好自己 |
| [08:46] | Dad, wait. | 老爸 等等 |
| [08:47] | I can’t believe Sabrina’s ahead of me. | 真不敢相信塞布丽娜居然排在我前面 |
| [08:49] | She has skinny little hips. | 她屁股那么小 |
| [08:51] | That’s God’s way of saying, “Don’t have babies.” | 上帝都不会同意让她养孩子的 |
| [08:53] | Burt, how are you gonna take care of Hope alone? | 伯特 你自己怎么照顾得了喜旺 |
| [08:56] | You can barely get yourself out the door in the morning. | 你要是一个人 早上连门都出不了 |
| [08:58] | Hey, I’m awake for an hour | 你早上做春梦那会儿 |
| [08:59] | while you’re still dreaming of making love to me. | 我都起来一个钟头了 |
| [09:01] | And you’re still dreaming of making love to some | 你呢 那会儿还在梦着 |
| [09:03] | half-Sabrina, half-dolphin creature. | 跟半塞布丽娜半海豚的东西嘿咻 |
| [09:05] | Could you stop reading my dream journal? | 你敢不敢不看我的好梦笔记啊 |
| [09:07] | My point is lest he who be perfect pass the first stone. | 我是想说 我才是最能干的人好吧 |
| [09:11] | Every morning it’s a whole production just getting you up. | 每天早上能叫醒你俩就算是壮举了 |
| [09:16] | You two sleep in like a couple of princess Cinderellas. | 你俩睡得比灰姑娘还死 |
| [09:22] | Then I iron your work clothes for the day | 然后我得帮你们熨工作服 |
| [09:24] | because you guys are so scared of getting shocked | 因为你俩都害怕 |
| [09:26] | when the iron shorts out. | 在熨斗短路的时候触电 |
| [09:31] | Then when the iron shorts out, | 再然后 每当熨斗短路的时候 |
| [09:33] | I climb up to the attic and change the fuse | 都是我爬上阁楼换保险丝 |
| [09:35] | because I’m the only one who even knows | 因为只有我知道 |
| [09:37] | how to open the fuse box. | 怎么能打开保险丝盒 |
| [09:39] | Then it’s phase two of Cinderella | 再再然后是第二轮的唤醒灰姑娘 |
| [09:42] | and Cinderfella. | 和灰小伙行动 |
| [09:46] | I clean all the ants out of the bathroom | 是我扫干净洗手间的蚂蚁 |
| [09:48] | so Virginia’s not freaked out when she brushes her teeth. | 这样才不会吓着刷牙的维吉妮亚 |
| [09:52] | Jimmy’s gonna need to use the bathroom. | 吉米一会儿要用洗手间 |
| [09:55] | So you gotta be out of here in 15 minutes. | 你得在一刻钟之内搞定 |
| [09:57] | It takes as long as it takes. | 我想怎么拉就怎么拉 |
| [10:01] | Then it’s phase three for Cinderella | 接着是第三轮的唤醒灰姑娘 |
| [10:04] | and her knucklehead son Rip van Dingleberry. | 和她的昏睡蠢儿子行动 |
| [10:04] | Rip van Dingleberry | 小说人物 曾因误食药水而昏睡20年 |
| [10:08] | So all that’s what happens | 我忙活所有这些活的时候 |
| [10:10] | before you bozos even get out of bed. | 你俩都还没起床呢 |
| [10:12] | I didn’t know you did all that. | 我不知道你做了这么多 |
| [10:14] | None of us can even take care of ourselves | 咱们仨谁也照顾不好自己 |
| [10:17] | let alone Hope. | 更别说照顾喜旺了 |
| [10:18] | We’re all idiots. | 咱们就是三个傻蛋 |
| [10:20] | Don’t overreact, Jimmy. | 别这样 吉米 |
| [10:21] | I think “idiots” is a little extreme. | 我觉得用”傻蛋”还是有点过了 |
| [10:24] | Guys, you left a little something back in the office. | 伙计们 你们在我办公室落了点东西哦 |
| [10:28] | We’re idiots. | 我们真是傻蛋 |
| [10:34] | We can’t even get out of the house | 早上起来没人帮忙 |
| [10:36] | in the morning without help. It’s embarrassing. | 我们都没法出门 太丢人了 |
| [10:38] | And Dad was mad at me that I put you | 老爸还在因为我把你对喜旺的监护顺序 |
| [10:40] | higher than him to be Hope’s guardian. | 排在他之前而耿耿于怀 |
| [10:42] | Maybe I should put you above us all. | 也许我该把你排在第一位的 |
| [10:44] | Whoa, back up. | 等一下 |
| [10:45] | You put me down as Hope’s guardian? | 你把我列为喜旺的监护人了 |
| [10:47] | You didn’t ask if I wanted that. | 你还没问过我的意见呢 |
| [10:49] | No one cares what you want, Sabrina. | 没人在乎你的意见 塞布丽娜 |
| [10:51] | Just let me know how many people need to die | 你就告诉我 我得干掉多少人 |
| [10:53] | before I get the baby. | 才能得到小宝贝吧 |
| [10:55] | You’re not on the list, Frank. | 你没在监护人名单里 弗兰克 |
| [10:56] | So… how many people have to die before I get on the list? | 那 我得干掉多少人才能上那名单 |
| [11:00] | You know, a baby’s kind of a lot to put on somebody unannounced. | 不打招呼就把人家列为监护人 很过分啊 |
| [11:04] | Hey, it’s not like I’m hoping for this. | 我也不想这样啊 |
| [11:05] | It would happen, literally, over my dead body. | 理论上来讲 这事等我死了才会发生 |
| [11:08] | You know what? I just realized | 我说 我刚发现 |
| [11:10] | I can’t have a baby and a python. | 我不能把婴儿和蟒蛇养在一起 |
| [11:12] | You can keep him. | 你还是自己养儿子吧 |
| [11:13] | Hope’s a girl. | 喜旺是个女娃 |
| [11:14] | – Says you. – Says nature. | -你就嘴硬吧 -这是天生的 |
| [11:16] | Let’s just agree to disagree. | 咱们求同存异吧 |
| [11:18] | Why did you even pick me? | 你干嘛选我啊 |
| [11:20] | Well, I mean, everybody else I know stinks, | 因为我认识的其他人都严重不靠谱 |
| [11:23] | and I love… | 而且我最爱… |
| [11:25] | how you don’t stink. | 你的一点就是你靠谱 |
| [11:28] | I’m sorry. I’m honored. | 不好意思 我很荣幸 |
| [11:30] | It’s just… A baby is a really intimidating responsibility. | 只是 养孩子是个很重的责任 |
| [11:35] | Well, yeah, but you’d be great. | 但你肯定没问题的 |
| [11:36] | Look, I know I seem really cool and collected, | 听着 我这人就是是看上去淡定 |
| [11:39] | but I am a basket case under pressure. | 可我一紧张就玩儿完 |
| [11:42] | I cried the first time I had to bag eggs. | 我第一次装鸡蛋的时候都哭了 |
| [11:45] | I comforted her with a warm embrace. | 我用我的怀抱温暖了她 |
| [11:47] | Shut up. | 闭嘴 |
| [11:49] | It was a bad day. | 那天真是糟透了 |
| [11:50] | All you need to do is spend some time alone with her, | 你只需要多跟她待一会儿 |
| [11:53] | and get your confidence up. | 培养点信心 |
| [11:54] | Okay. I’ll take her out. | 好吧 我可以带她出去玩 |
| [11:57] | But meanwhile, how about you and your family | 但同时 你们一家子能不能好好学学 |
| [11:59] | teach each other how to handle life on your own | 互相培养点独立生活能力 |
| [12:02] | so I’m at least, like, number four on the list. | 这样我至少 能排到第四位 |
| [12:05] | I just realized I can train the baby | 我发现我可以把婴儿 |
| [12:08] | and the python to be friends. | 和蟒蛇训练成好朋友哦 |
| [12:10] | I’ll take your boy. | 你儿子归我了 |
| [12:14] | Sabrina was right. | 塞布丽娜说得对 |
| [12:16] | For Hope’s sake, for all of our sakes, | 为了喜旺 也为了我们自己 |
| [12:18] | we’re going to teach each other how to survive. | 我们得互相学习生存技能 |
| [12:21] | #What I want, you got, it might be hard to handle # | #我渴望的 你拥有的 或许难以掌控# |
| [12:26] | #But like the flame that burns the candle # | #但就像那燃烧的蜡烛# |
| [12:29] | #The candle feeds the flame # | #蜡炬成灰火苗旺# |
| [12:33] | #What I got’s full stock of thoughts and dreams # | #脑海中充满了思绪与梦境# |
| [12:36] | #That scatter # | #思绪飘零# |
| [12:38] | #You pull them all together # | #复又归拢# |
| [12:40] | #And how, I can’t explain # | #无法说明# |
| [12:44] | #Well, well, you # | #就是你# |
| [12:49] | Stupid jerk bacon. | 该死的培根 |
| [12:51] | Rule one: don’t cook shirtless. | 规则一 不要玩儿裸体烹饪 |
| [12:55] | #Well, well, well you # | #就是你# |
| [12:58] | Rule two: don’t cook eggs in the microwave. | 规则二 不要用微波炉煎蛋 |
| [13:08] | #On a night… # | #那一夜…# |
| [13:09] | Rule three: you don’t toast French toast. | 规则三 不要用烤面包机烤法式土司 |
| [13:15] | I find the shock to be a bit of an energy boost. | 我觉得电击可以振奋精神耶 |
| [13:17] | But you might want to bite down on this wooden spoon | 不过最好咬着木勺 |
| [13:19] | to keep from taking a chunk off your tongue. | 以免咬断舌头 |
| [13:24] | #’Cause I ain’t the way you found me # | #我不再像当初那样# |
| [13:26] | #And I’ll never be the same, oh, yeah # | #我不会再回到过去# |
| [13:30] | #Well, ’cause you # | #只因为你# |
| [13:48] | Good. | 很好 |
| [13:51] | Look at us. | 瞅瞅咱们 |
| [13:53] | We each got dressed and fed | 就算没有别人帮助指导 |
| [13:55] | and out of the house without one bit of help or coaching. | 也能个个收拾停当 准备出门了 |
| [13:58] | Wasn’t that hard. | 也不是很难嘛 |
| [14:00] | I don’t know why everyone else in the world | 真不理解为啥其他人 |
| [14:01] | makes it out like it’s such a big deal. | 把这事夸大成那么困难 |
| [14:03] | I don’t think they do, Burt. It’s just us. | 别人才不这样 伯特 这是咱家特色 |
| [14:05] | Well, I still think we’ve done a great thing. | 可我还是觉得咱们很了不起啊 |
| [14:08] | And it’ll make our lives better, and our family stronger. | 这会让咱们越活越好 咱家越来越棒 |
| [14:17] | We’re all gonna die. | 我们死定了 |
| [14:27] | I’m going to make a run for the hatch. | 我要试试跑出去 |
| [14:28] | Don’t! You’ll never make it. | 不行 行不通的 |
| [14:30] | We have to knock you out with cold medicine | 划破个口子都得让咱用感冒药迷晕你 |
| [14:32] | when you get a splinter, how are you going to deal | 要是屁股上开了花 |
| [14:33] | with a pound of buckshot in your tushie? | 你还不得折腾死啊 |
| [14:45] | I can’t believe I’m going to die. | 真不敢相信我就快死了 |
| [14:47] | I’ve only had sex with one person. | 我才只跟一个人上过床 |
| [14:49] | – Me, too. – Me, too. | -我也是 -我也是 |
| [14:51] | – Six. – Really? | -我有六个 -真的假的 |
| [14:53] | – Yeah. – Way to go, son. | -必须的 -好样的啊 儿子 |
| [14:55] | I don’t believe it. | 太荒谬了 |
| [14:57] | Thanks for getting us into this mess. | 真谢谢你害我们沦落成这样 |
| [14:59] | Wha… How is this my fault? | 啥… 凭啥是我的错啊 |
| [15:08] | Hey. | 那啥 |
| [15:10] | You know, I-I don’t think | 我说 我觉得 |
| [15:12] | I need to hang out with her alone. | 我不用单独跟她出去吧 |
| [15:13] | The odds of you guys | 你们全家死光 |
| [15:15] | dying and needing me as a guardian, | 轮到我养她的机率 |
| [15:17] | those chances are like, 5% at most. | 最多也就5%吧 |
| [15:20] | You’re not just doing this for Hope. | 这不只是为了喜旺 |
| [15:22] | You might be a mom someday. | 你以后也可能成为一个母亲 |
| [15:23] | So. You’re going to need to be good under pressure. | 所以 你得学会面对压力 |
| [15:26] | So go off, have fun, and just drop her off | 赶紧的 好好玩 |
| [15:29] | at day care when you’re done. | 玩完把她送到日托所去 |
| [15:30] | Relax. You’re going to be great with her. | 不用紧张 你会做得很棒的 |
| [15:33] | I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? | 最坏能坏到哪去 |
| [15:34] | A pit bull could eat her. | 斗牛犬可能会吃了她 |
| [15:36] | Uh… hawk attack? | 老鹰可能会叼走她 |
| [15:38] | Bee or jellyfish sting? | 蜜蜂或水母可能会叮她 |
| [15:39] | Errant puck from a street hockey game? | 还有从天而降的街头曲棍球 |
| [15:41] | Baby-eating zombies. | 还有吃孩子的僵尸 |
| [15:43] | That last one was my attempt to lighten the mood. | 僵尸只是用来搞笑的 |
| [15:45] | The other ones I’m seriously worried about. | 其他那些我可真有点担心 |
| [15:48] | See you later. | 回见 |
| [15:53] | Hey, where’s Hope? | 喜旺呢 |
| [15:54] | I made a funny face in the mirror, | 我照镜子时做出了一种鬼脸 |
| [15:55] | I wanted to show it to her. | 我想做给她看看 |
| [15:58] | Uh, Sabrina took her, like, half an hour ago. | 塞布丽娜带她出去了 差不多半小时了 |
| [15:59] | Oh, that is a good face. | 哇哦 这鬼脸真给力 |
| [16:02] | Oh, I bet she’d like it. | 她肯定会喜欢的 |
| [16:06] | You really going to abandon me in my time of need? | 你真打算在我需要你的时候抛弃我啊 |
| [16:09] | I don’t have time to help you find your dumb boot. | 我没时间帮你找靴子 |
| [16:12] | It’s a giant pain in the butt. | 简直是眼中的巨钉 肉中的巨刺 |
| [16:13] | Plus, that’s what we put up your shelves for. | 而且 给你买那些架子不就是让你放鞋的么 |
| [16:15] | I thought the shelves and stuff were for if you and Jimmy died. | 我还以为架子什么的是等你和吉米死时用的 |
| [16:18] | You know? | 明白我意思不 |
| [16:19] | So I’d have matching shoes at the funeral? | 这样我参加你们的葬礼才能穿上匹配的鞋子 |
| [16:22] | I mean, we’re still helping each other, right? | 咱们还是在互相帮助不是吗 |
| [16:23] | I woke you up this morning. | 今早就是我叫你起床的 |
| [16:25] | I-I wiped away the ants. | 我还清理了蚂蚁 |
| [16:26] | At this point it is just stupid | 我只是觉得 |
| [16:28] | that you keep losing pairs of things. | 你一直丢失成双成对的东西实在太蠢了 |
| [16:32] | You’d lose one of your walnuts if your sack had a hole in it. | 你裤子要是有洞的话 蛋蛋都能被你搞丢一个 |
| [16:35] | Well, I think it’s stupid | 我倒是觉得 |
| [16:37] | that you’re afraid to iron your own clothes. | 你不敢熨衣服才真够蠢的 |
| [16:41] | Iron’s especially zappy this morning. | 熨斗今天很活跃啊 |
| [16:43] | You want to tame that dragon? | 想驯服这条小龙吗 |
| [16:45] | Daw! Jabberwocky! | 我了个去 还是条炸脖龙 |
| [16:47] | I’m not afraid of the iron anymore, | 我再也不怕熨斗了 |
| [16:48] | because you showed us the trick. | 因为你已经教过咱们窍门了 |
| [16:53] | Dragon tamed. | 龙被驯服了 |
| [16:58] | Find your own boot. | 自己找鞋去吧 |
| [17:01] | Fine… Everybody’s on their own now. | 行 有本事谁也别找谁帮忙 |
| [17:04] | Not about everything. | 也不能一概而论啊 |
| [17:06] | No, let’s do everything by ourselves. | 不行 啥都得靠自己 |
| [17:08] | We taught each other the skills, | 我们互相教过技巧了 |
| [17:10] | so I guess we’re going Han Solo on everything. | 所以咱一切都得自给自足了 |
| [17:12] | Which means you get to change the fuse when it blows, | 也就是说 要是开着熨斗又去开面包机 |
| [17:15] | after starting the toaster while the iron is on. | 烧了保险丝你就自己去换吧 |
| [17:20] | Good luck with the ironing. | 祝你玩熨斗好运 |
| [17:22] | Good luck with your eggs. | 祝你的早餐鸡蛋好运 |
| [17:27] | Good luck with your shirt. | 祝你洗衬衣好运 |
| [17:35] | How do you do the fuse box latch again? | 再教一遍 咋开保险丝盒来着 |
| [17:38] | Figure it out! | 自己摸索 |
| [17:45] | Hey. Where the heck is Hope? | 回来了啊 喜旺呢 |
| [17:48] | At Shelley’s. | 在雪莉那儿 |
| [17:49] | I was walking along, and I had this irrational fear | 我在那走啊走的 产生了一种莫名的恐慌 |
| [17:51] | that a tsunami was gonna hit and I’m not a very good swimmer | 我怕海啸要来了 而我不太会游泳 |
| [17:54] | especially if I have her and it wasn’t just a water tsunami | 更别说还带着她了 而且不只”海”啸 |
| [17:56] | there were palm trees and hotels and convertible seabees | 还有棕榈树啊 旅店啊 救生员啊各种啸 |
| [17:59] | And here’s where you need to slap me | 赶紧的 给我一巴掌 |
| [18:00] | or shake me around to calm me down. | 或者摇我两下 让我冷静点 |
| [18:02] | Uh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [18:08] | Oh, forget it. | 得了吧 |
| [18:11] | See? You were going to make her number three. | 瞅瞅 就这德行你还要把她排在我前面 |
| [18:19] | Figure it out! | 自己摸索 |
| [18:28] | What’s wrong? | 咋回事 |
| [18:29] | I think I got a little shocked. | 貌似我被电击了 |
| [18:32] | FYI.. | 顺便说一句 |
| [18:34] | you don’t see your skeleton like in the cartoons. | 卡通都是骗人的 触电时根本看不到骨头架子 |
| [18:37] | It just hurts. | 除了疼还是疼 |
| [18:39] | Very badly. | 超级疼 |
| [18:40] | Here, let me help you up. | 来 我扶你起来 |
| [18:43] | Whoa. Not cool. | 尴尬了 |
| [18:45] | Here, here. You need a hand? | 来来 要帮忙吗 |
| [18:46] | Yeah, yeah. | 需要啊 |
| [18:48] | Oh, way to go, Jimmy. | 好样的啊 吉米 |
| [18:50] | You got bits of ceiling in my breakfast. | 我早餐都成了天花板混合物了 |
| [18:52] | I had to throw away a perfectly good omelet | 我完美的煎蛋卷啊 只能扔了 |
| [18:54] | I made for myself. | 那可是我自己做的啊 |
| [18:56] | Probably had shells in it. | 多半还有蛋壳残留在里面吧 |
| [18:57] | I like shells in it. | 我就爱里面有蛋壳 |
| [19:03] | I hear you up there, mongooses! | 我听到你们在上面了 猫鼬 |
| [19:06] | We are not mongooses! | 我们不是猫鼬 |
| [19:08] | That’s just what a mongoose would say. | 猫鼬自己当然不会承认了 |
| [19:15] | We’re all gonna die. | 我们死定了 |
| [19:17] | I’m going to make a run for the hatch. | 我要试试跑出去 |
| [19:25] | It’s everyone’s fault we’re up here. | 咱现在被困在这里 大家都有责任 |
| [19:28] | A little more mine, | 我责任更多一点点 |
| [19:29] | ’cause the gun safe I bought | 因为我买的保险栓 |
| [19:30] | is still sitting in the back of my car, but still… | 还放在我车后面没拿下来 但是 |
| [19:33] | we all helped get here. | 最终被憋在这儿咱都有责任 |
| [19:34] | We screwed up our system. | 是我们自己搞砸了 |
| [19:36] | When we needed each other, | 以前需要互相帮助的时候 |
| [19:37] | it made us work together and be nice. | 我们精诚合作 亲密无间 |
| [19:39] | And when we figured out how to do stuff alone, | 后来发现自己能单干了 |
| [19:41] | it turned us mean and vicious, | 就变得冷漠又恶毒 |
| [19:43] | to where we rip each other apart. | 开始自相残杀了 |
| [19:45] | It turned us into mongooses. | 咱现在就像猫鼬一样 |
| [19:47] | Who would’ve thought being semi-helpless | 谁能想到 有时候无能一点 |
| [19:49] | is half of what keeps a family together? | 恰恰能让家人凝聚在一起啊 |
| [19:51] | Man, I bet families with blind people in them are really tight. | 靠 家里有盲人的家庭肯定超团结的 |
| [19:54] | You guys are lucky. | 你们真幸运 |
| [19:56] | Well, I mean aside from being held hostage and all that. | 当然 除了被困为人质这些事 |
| [19:59] | Also, you have an obscene amount of beer. | 还有 你们的啤酒存量真是太可耻了 |
| [20:01] | Oh, yeah. That’s for 2012. | 哦对 那是为2012准备的 |
| [20:03] | I figured we wouldn’t want to die sober. | 我本想到时候喝醉了眼睛一闭就过去了 |
| [20:06] | Which I guess applies to now as well. | 感觉现在用也挺合适的 |
| [20:08] | We’re not going to die. | 我们不会死的 |
| [20:09] | We just have to not make any noise | 我们只要保持安静 |
| [20:12] | until Maw Maw falls asleep. | 等曾奶奶睡着就行了 |
| [20:14] | Which is what, like, ten hours? | 那得多久 十个小时 |
| [20:16] | We could do that. | 我们能做到的 |
| [20:20] | How much time do we have left? | 还有多久 |
| [20:22] | I’m guessing about nine hours, 40 minutes. | 估计还有九小时四十分钟 |
| [20:29] | Come on, mongooses, make a move! | 来啊猫鼬们 有本事动两下啊 |
| [20:31] | Let me know where you at. | 让我知道你们的方位 |
| [20:40] | I hear your panicked cry. | 我听到你们吓哭了 |
| [20:43] | Keep it up, mongoose. | 继续啊 猫鼬们 |
| [20:45] | Marco! | 来啊 |
| [20:50] | I’m so sorry. | 太对不住了 |
| [20:52] | Marco! | 来啊 |
| [20:53] | If all of us die, who raises Hope? | 要是咱们都死了 谁养喜旺啊 |
| [20:56] | We didn’t pick a fifth backup. | 我们没挑选第五人选 |
| [20:58] | It seemed unnecessary at the time. | 咱都以为一时半会儿用不上啊 |
| [21:00] | Marco! | 来啊 |
| [21:03] | Now I got you. | 知道你们在哪了 |
| [21:05] | Say good-bye, mongoose! | 永别吧 猫鼬们 |
| [21:07] | We are not leaving Hope an orphan. | 不能让喜旺成为孤儿 |
| [21:24] | You did it. | 你做到了 |
| [21:26] | You were great under pressure. | 你能应对压力了 |
| [21:28] | Hey! I guess I was. | 对哦 好像是哦 |
| [21:31] | Her skinny hips fit right through the rafters | 她的小屁股直接击穿了椽木天花板 |
| [21:33] | and saved our lives. | 救了我们的命 |
| [21:35] | You can put her as the guardian ahead of me. | 喜旺的监护人名单 把她排在我前面吧 |
| [21:37] | You can put her ahead of all of us. | 她可以排在我们所有人前面了 |
| [21:44] | Thank you for watching Raising Hope on Fox. | 欢迎收看福克斯台 《家有喜旺》 |