| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:16] | Dad, praying mantis! | 老爹 螳螂 |
| [00:19] | Oh, and is it pretty. | 噢 简直美呆了 |
| [00:23] | Dad, Dad, I found a praying mantis. | 老爹 老爹 我发现了一只螳螂 |
| [00:26] | Now we finally have something to fight | 咱养的那只甲虫 |
| [00:28] | that beetle we’ve been saving. | 终于遇到对手了 |
| [00:29] | What are you doing back here, Jimmy? | 吉米 你跑后面来干嘛 |
| [00:30] | That dog doesn’t know you. | 那狗不认识你 |
| [00:31] | He’ll kill you. | 他会吃了你的 |
| [00:34] | Why is your shirt off? | 你裸着上身干啥 |
| [00:36] | – I was hot. – It’s not that hot today. | -爷热 -今儿也没那么热啊 |
| [00:38] | Well, I was working, and working made me sweat. | 爷在工作 工作是会出汗的 |
| [00:40] | You’re dry, and your nipples are hard. | 你才没出汗 而且你的乳头是硬的 |
| [00:42] | Your obsession with my moisture and nipples | 你这么认真观察我的湿度和乳头 |
| [00:44] | is making me uncomfortable. | 我表示压力很大啊 |
| [00:46] | Plus, I think it’s pissing off the dog. | 还有 那只狗快要发飙了 |
| [00:48] | Please just go finish the front. | 快去把前面的活干完 |
| [00:50] | It’s just weird. | 太诡异了 |
| [01:10] | Morning, Burt. | 早上好 伯特 |
| [01:11] | I brought you a slice of pound cake. | 我给你拿了块磅饼 |
| [01:13] | Oh, I don’t know what’s sweeter– | 噢 我都不知道你和磅饼 |
| [01:15] | you or that pound cake. | 到底哪个更甜美了 |
| [01:19] | You know why they call it pound cake? | 知道它为啥叫磅饼吗 |
| [01:21] | ‘Cause if you eat it, you gain a pound. | 因为吃一块就能长一磅 |
| [01:25] | Or two pounds. | 或者两磅 |
| [01:27] | Hey, hey, hey, three. | 哎哎 或者三磅 |
| [01:30] | Three. | 三磅 |
| [02:08] | I’m not going to be around forever, | 总有一天我会离开 |
| [02:10] | and I want your little baby girl | 我想把这个传给 |
| [02:11] | to have this, so she’ll | 你的宝贝闺女 |
| [02:13] | always remember who her… | 这样她就会记住她的… |
| [02:15] | Who am I to her again? | 我是她的啥来着 |
| [02:17] | You’re her great-great-maw maw. | 你是她曾曾祖母 |
| [02:19] | That is so sweet. | 太感人了 |
| [02:21] | Oh, I wonder what it is | 真不知道 |
| [02:24] | that makes me so great. | 我怎么会如此伟大 |
| [02:26] | Well, hey, sweetie. | 嗨 宝贝儿 |
| [02:27] | Don’t you look glamorous? | 你今天开起来好潮啊 |
| [02:30] | Boy, you just never turn off the charm, do you? | 你还真是见谁嘴里都跟抹了蜜似的啊 |
| [02:32] | Here, why don’t you see | 你咋不试试 |
| [02:33] | if you can get the Indian woman on the butter | 看能不能让那位印度大妈 |
| [02:35] | to blow you a kiss? | 送你香吻一枚 |
| [02:36] | Okay, we need to talk. | 好吧 咱得谈谈 |
| [02:37] | Yes, you’re damn right we need to talk. | 没错 咱太需要谈谈了 |
| [02:39] | What were you doing with that lady today? | 你今天和那位女士在干嘛 |
| [02:40] | – Nothing. – Oh, come on. | -啥都没干 -得了吧 |
| [02:42] | You had your shirt off, | 你光着上身 |
| [02:43] | you were doing push-ups, smiling with your mouth all… | 做俯卧撑 嘴都咧成那个德行了 |
| [02:47] | I wasn’t doing that. | 我没有 |
| [02:48] | I was doing this. | 我是这么笑的 |
| [02:50] | That’s what I did. | 我才是这么笑的 |
| [02:51] | No, you did it all pervy. | 不 你笑得超级猥琐 |
| [02:52] | You were like… | 你刚才 |
| [02:53] | That’s what you were doing. | 你刚才就是这样的 |
| [02:54] | I was not. | 我没有 |
| [02:55] | My mouth doesn’t even work that way. | 我的嘴都做不出那种形状 |
| [02:57] | Tell me, are you trying to sleep with that woman? | 老实交代 你是不是想泡她 |
| [02:59] | Trying to sleep with what woman? | 泡谁 |
| [03:01] | With no woman. | 谁都不泡 |
| [03:02] | Jimmy saw a side of the business today | 吉米今天看到了我这行业的阴暗面 |
| [03:04] | that I’ve sort of shielded him from. | 我本不想让他知道的 |
| [03:06] | He’s just trying to wrap his brain around it. | 他现在纠结上了 |
| [03:08] | Well, now I’m trying to wrap my brain around it, Burt. | 我也纠结上了 伯特 |
| [03:11] | What did he see? | 他看到啥了 |
| [03:14] | you know, there was a client, she was a lady, | 你懂的 客户 女的 |
| [03:17] | I take my shirt off, stuff like that, like you do. | 我就脱了个上衣 没啥大不了的 |
| [03:22] | Happy now, Chicken Little? | 开心了吗 忧天小鸡 |
| [03:23] | Sky’s not falling. | 天还没塌下来呢 |
| [03:25] | You took your shirt off so she will look at you? | 你脱了衣服去吸引她的注意 |
| [03:29] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
| [03:29] | I’m the pool guy. | 我是清洁泳池的嘛 |
| [03:32] | Oh, come on, Virginia, don’t act so naive. | 好了 弗吉尼亚 别那么天真嘛 |
| [03:38] | Everybody knows the lawn and pool business | 地球人都知道 草坪泳池神马的 |
| [03:41] | isn’t just about lawns and pools. | 永远不只表面那么简单嘛 |
| [03:45] | Over the years I’ve learned people want a little eye candy. | 多年来我终于明白 人人都想饱个眼福 |
| [03:59] | And I got candy to give. | 我有资本嘛 |
| [04:04] | Come holiday bonus time, | 节假日就有好处喽 |
| [04:06] | we’re lucky some customers have a serious sweet tooth. | 我们该庆幸有些顾客的胃口不小 |
| [04:18] | There’s no physical contact. | 没有身体接触 |
| [04:20] | I’m not selling my body, just selling the dream. | 我出卖的不是身体 是美梦 |
| [04:25] | Who are you– Burt Bigalow: Lawn Gigolo? | 你以为你谁啊 憨直舞男2伯特先生么 |
| [04:29] | I want you to have my father’s top hat. | 我想让你继承我父亲的高帽 |
| [04:32] | – I’d rather… – Wear the top hat, Burt. | -我其实 -老实戴着 伯特 |
| [04:36] | Wear it. | 好好戴 |
| [04:37] | Then maybe you can dig up Abe Lincoln’s wife | 没准儿你就能挖出林肯他老婆 |
| [04:39] | and flirt with her. | 跟她调情了 |
| [04:44] | Look, I’m just using my God-given gifts | 我只是在用上天赐予我的礼物 |
| [04:47] | to provide for my family. | 养家糊口嘛 |
| [04:48] | I won this in a dance marathon. | 这是我在舞蹈马拉松上赢的 |
| [04:50] | Thank you. | 拜谢 |
| [04:52] | Burt, don’t act like you’re doing this for us. | 伯特 别搞得你做这些都是为了我们一样 |
| [04:54] | The truth is, you just love being a sex symbol. | 事实上 你只是喜欢被当做性爱之神罢了 |
| [04:56] | It’s not about that. | 才不是呢 |
| [04:58] | It’s about putting food on the table. | 我可是在为了面包而奋斗啊 |
| [05:00] | When it comes to being a hunter-gatherer, | 要是让我去当什么山大王 |
| [05:02] | I don’t have a lot of weapons. | 我也没那资本啊 |
| [05:03] | I’m not that bright, I’m not that smart, | 我既不机灵 也不聪明 |
| [05:05] | and I don’t have a lot of intelligence, | 更别提我那点智商了 |
| [05:06] | so believe me, I know how lucky I am to have these guns. | 所以 能拥有如此威猛的双臂我就很知足啦 |
| [05:11] | Really, Burt, the guns? | 不是吧 伯特 双臂 |
| [05:13] | Ah, who am I kidding? | 被你戳穿了 |
| [05:14] | My real trophy is my four-pack abs. | 要说杀手锏 还得是咱这四块腹肌 |
| [05:18] | Call the police. | 快报警 |
| [05:19] | A crook has stolen everything from my room. | 有小偷刚刚洗劫过我屋子 |
| [05:22] | Everything that is precious to me is gone. | 我所有的宝贝都不见了 |
| [05:36] | So Burt flirted with a woman? Who cares? | 伯特跟别的女人勾勾搭搭 有啥大不了的 |
| [05:39] | Everybody flirts; I do it all the time. | 人人都调情 姐就调得全年无休 |
| [05:40] | You’re kidding me. And Donovan doesn’t care? | 你逗我呢吧 多诺万不介意 |
| [05:42] | No, he does it, too. | 才不呢 他跟我半斤八两 |
| [05:43] | And you don’t care? | 那你也无所谓 |
| [05:45] | When Donovan flirts and I see a woman flirt back, | 每次看到多诺万和女人眉来眼去 |
| [05:48] | it kind of turns me on– | 我就会开始”鸡动” |
| [05:49] | unless she touches him, and then I’ll beat her ass, | 不过那娘们要是毛手毛脚 老娘就上去抽她 |
| [05:52] | which always turns him on, | 我一抽人 他又会”鸡动” |
| [05:54] | so when he flirts, one way or another, | 所以 每次他出去勾搭 |
| [05:55] | somebody’s getting turned on, | 我们俩总会有个人”鸡动” |
| [05:57] | which is a good thing in a marriage. | 其实对婚姻生活是种不错的调剂呢 |
| [05:59] | You should try it. | 你也该开开荤 |
| [06:00] | Oh, no, I don’t think I… | 不不不 我觉得… |
| [06:01] | Don’t think. | 别觉了 |
| [06:02] | Do. | 上吧 |
| [06:04] | Okay, well… | 好吧… |
| [06:07] | That bra really makes your boobs look perky. | 这胸罩真让你的事业线更显深邃啊 |
| [06:10] | Not on me. | 没让你调戏我 |
| [06:11] | The waiter. | 调那服务员 |
| [06:13] | Oh, no, I couldn’t. | 不不不 还是算了吧 |
| [06:15] | Hey, Gary… | 你好啊 加里… |
| [06:17] | …uh, is that an inspirational stone in your pocket | 你这么满面春风 是因为兜里揣了励志石呢 |
| [06:22] | or are you just happy to see me? | 还是因为看见了我 |
| [06:23] | Oh, it’s a stone. | 是有块石头 |
| [06:26] | It says “Destiny.” | 上面刻着”命运” |
| [06:28] | I like to believe that there’s something great out there waiting for me. | 我一直相信有什么好事在等着我呢 |
| [06:31] | You know? | 你看呢 |
| [06:32] | Well, who knows? | 有可能啊 |
| [06:34] | Maybe you could be waiter to the president someday. | 没准儿有一天你能去服侍总统呢 |
| [06:37] | Yeah. You’re sure handsome enough. | 起码外表肯定过关了 |
| [06:41] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [06:43] | Hey, you know, um, I just took some scones out of the oven. | 说起来 我刚烤了点小烤饼 |
| [06:47] | Why don’t I bring you ladies a couple on the house? | 给你们俩尝尝怎么样 |
| [06:50] | Oh, my God, I did it. | 老天 我成功了 |
| [06:52] | You did it. | 你做到了 |
| [06:54] | Ah, I did it. | 我做到了 |
| [06:56] | What the hell is a scone? | 话说小烤饼到底是啥玩意儿 |
| [07:05] | Hey, | 我说 |
| [07:06] | do you think I could pull these earrings off, | 你看我把这玩意儿弄耳环上好看不 |
| [07:08] | or is it too busy? | 还是太过头了 |
| [07:10] | – Jimmy! – Huh? | -吉米 -啥 |
| [07:13] | Oh, yeah, that’s, that’s really funny. | 那啥 很有个性 |
| [07:16] | You still preoccupied about your parents? | 你还琢磨你爸妈的那点事儿呐 |
| [07:18] | We both are, okay? It’s a big deal. | 我们都琢磨着呢 这可不是小事 |
| [07:21] | You mentioned it Tuesday, and it stuck with me. | 礼拜二你跟我提了一下 我就琢磨到现在 |
| [07:25] | Parents don’t realize the scars they leave. | 父母根本意识不到他们给孩子留下的创伤 |
| [07:28] | Dude, cut it out. | 哥们儿 别弄了 |
| [07:29] | You’re getting fish guts in my neck hole. | 你把鱼肠都塞我脖子里了 |
| [07:30] | You know, I don’t know why your mom’s | 说真的 我很不理解 |
| [07:31] | so bummed out about this whole flirting thing. | 你妈为啥对吊膀子这么大惊小怪 |
| [07:34] | Everybody does it. | 大伙儿都这么干嘛 |
| [07:35] | It’s fun, it’s a good way to get what you want. | 很带感的 而且还能得到回报 |
| [07:37] | – Whoa, whoa, you do it, too? – Oh, yeah. | -我勒个去 你也这样 -是啊 |
| [07:38] | It’s how I get Barney to give me all the easy jobs. | 所以巴尼才会把轻省活儿都交给我嘛 |
| [07:41] | You know I work from home on Thursdays? | 不然你以为我为啥能每周四在家工作 |
| [07:43] | That is so unfair. | 介尼玛太不公平了 |
| [07:45] | It’s just the way the world works, Jimmy. | 世界本来就不公平 吉米 |
| [07:47] | You use what you got. | 要利用自己的资本 |
| [07:48] | Is it fair that I missed the height requirement | 难道我比全美超模参赛标准矮了30厘米 |
| [07:50] | for America’s Next Top Model by 12 inches? | 这事就公平吗 |
| [07:53] | Stop. | 住手 |
| [07:55] | I washed my hands. | 我洗过手了 |
| [08:05] | Hey, Burt, awfully hot, | 伯特 今天好热哦 |
| [08:07] | don’t you think? | 你不觉得么 |
| [08:09] | Don’t worry, I’ve increased your chlorine | 别担心 我帮你池子里加了氯 |
| [08:11] | to compensate for the heat-induced algae. | 这样就不怕热性藻类了 |
| [08:14] | I meant your clothes. | 我是指你的衣服啦 |
| [08:16] | You’re wearing a lot of clothes. | 你穿得好多哦 |
| [08:18] | I also added muriatic acid, so your pH is… | 我还帮你加了盐酸 池水的酸碱度就… |
| [08:23] | My wife knows about us. | 咱俩的事儿被我老婆发现了 |
| [08:25] | What about us? | 咱俩啥事 |
| [08:25] | Everything– | 所有事 |
| [08:26] | I came clean, told her all about our flirting. | 我把咱俩暧昧的事全都跟我老婆坦白了 |
| [08:29] | Flirting? We were just being friendly. | 暧昧 咱们只是好朋友嘛 |
| [08:31] | Oh, come on– the suggestive banter, | 拜托 那些暗示性的调戏 |
| [08:34] | the pound cake, | 还有磅饼 |
| [08:36] | me topless skimming, you doing slow karate on that mat. | 我光着膀子干活 你在那儿练太极拳 |
| [08:40] | I think we both crossed the friendly line, | 咱俩早就越界了 |
| [08:42] | and I was flirting and it has to end. | 我勾搭过你 现在我要改过自新了 |
| [08:45] | So no more pound cake? | 那你不吃磅饼了 |
| [08:47] | No more pound cake. | 不吃了 |
| [09:10] | Oh, man, these things sure are the dickens. | 我说 这玩意儿也太难伺候了 |
| [09:12] | Oh, I couldn’t have said it better myself. | 我也觉得很纠结 |
| [09:14] | Oh, here, let me, let me give it a try. | 我来试试看 |
| [09:15] | Well, thanks. | 谢啦 |
| [09:17] | I didn’t expect that from the boss. | 没想到能得到老板的帮忙 |
| [09:20] | Whoa, that is a lot of firepower | 你刚才那下 |
| [09:22] | you’ve got in those guns. | 火力也忒猛了吧 |
| [09:24] | Oh, yeah, well, I, | 是啊 没错 |
| [09:25] | I’ve got some free weights in my office. | 我刚在办公室做了会儿自由力量运动 |
| [09:27] | Wow, you’re not bulky either. | 你一点都不胖 |
| [09:28] | You’re strong but you’re lean. | 外干中强 |
| [09:29] | I mean, that’s the kind of body | 要是我29岁还能有这身材 |
| [09:30] | I want to have when I’m 29. | 我就知足了 |
| [09:32] | Ah, thanks, though I’m a little bit older than 29, | 谢谢 其实我不止29 |
| [09:34] | but not by much. | 当然也没差很多 |
| [09:35] | Boy, I wish I knew your tricks. | 哥们 告诉我秘籍吧 |
| [09:37] | Oh, why don’t I show you my workout routine? | 那就给你瞅瞅我的训练计划 |
| [09:39] | – We can do it right now. – Oh, I’d love that, | -择日不如撞日 -我也很想 |
| [09:40] | but I’m supposed to de-moth some of the light fixtures. | 可我得先把灯具周围的飞蛾赶掉 |
| [09:43] | Ah, those moths aren’t going anywhere. | 你赶或不赶 蛾就在那里 不悲不喜 |
| [09:46] | Oh, man, the “Moths aren’t going anywhere.” | 你赶或不赶 蛾就在那里 不悲不喜 |
| [09:49] | That’s hilarious. | 太逗了你 |
| [09:49] | Well, the moths can’t move, | 飞蛾不悲不喜 |
| [09:51] | because they’re dead. | 是因为他们都死了 |
| [09:53] | Ah, yep. | 对哦 |
| [09:55] | Strong and funny. | 又精壮又幽默 |
| [09:56] | Mothers, lock up your daughters. | 丈母娘们 看好你们的女儿吧 |
| [10:02] | Eh, what’s all this? | 你这是干什么 |
| [10:04] | I just picked up some “Reduced for quick sale” | 我刚在加油站 |
| [10:06] | lunch meat at the gas station. | 买了些促销的午餐肉 |
| [10:06] | I know, I know, I was angry, so I didn’t cook for a week, | 好了好了 我之前心情不好 罢厨一周 |
| [10:10] | but now I want to apologize. | 但我现在诚心道歉 |
| [10:12] | – You do? – I was wrong. | -道歉 -我错了 |
| [10:14] | I was all crazy about you flirting. | 你和别人暧昧搞得我很抓狂 |
| [10:17] | Then I had lunch with Sylvia, and she explained to me | 后来我和西尔维娅吃饭 她让我意识到 |
| [10:20] | that everybody flirts, | 暧昧是每个人的天性 |
| [10:22] | so I tried it with the waiter and it worked. | 于是我试着和服务生抛了个媚眼 立马见效了 |
| [10:24] | Gary gave me all this free food. | 加里给了我这顿免费的晚餐 |
| [10:26] | Gary– you call him Gary? | 加里 你叫他加里 |
| [10:28] | Yes, he told me his name is Gary, | 是啊 他告诉我他叫加里 |
| [10:29] | but his full name is also on his name tag– | 他的全名写在胸牌上了 |
| [10:32] | Gary Barista. | 加里·布里斯塔 |
| [10:32] | Barista也指咖啡吧员 此处可能是个双关的小调侃 | |
| [10:34] | I am starving. | 我快饿死了 |
| [10:36] | I didn’t realize what hard work flirting is. | 我还是没搞懂该怎么打情骂俏 |
| [10:38] | With Sabrina? | 和塞布丽娜 |
| [10:39] | No, even better. | 不 更刺激 |
| [10:47] | Wow, this is harder than I thought. | 这比我想得要辛苦 |
| [10:50] | That’s what she said. | 她也这么说 |
| [10:52] | – What? – That’s just a joke | -啥 -这是我看的 |
| [10:53] | a guy on a TV show I used to watch says. | 一个节目上某人说的笑话 |
| [10:56] | Oh, ha-ha-ha, oh, that’s hilarious. | 太搞笑了 |
| [10:59] | It makes it seem like I said something dirty, but I didn’t. | 感觉仿佛我和人调情 其实我没有 |
| [11:07] | Foreigner is pretty great, huh? | 外国人太伟大了 是吧 |
| [11:09] | They’re awesome. | 钢钢的 |
| [11:10] | I don’t believe this. | 难以置信 |
| [11:11] | Everybody’s flirting but me. | 除了我人人都在搞暧昧 |
| [11:13] | Does this mean flirting’s back on? | 这是不是意味着暧昧无罪 |
| [11:15] | ‘Cause I would really like to reopen my flirt gates– I miss it. | 我想死我的狩猎场了 |
| [11:17] | Flirt away. | 自由自在的暧昧吧 |
| [11:19] | Great! | 太好了 |
| [11:20] | Jimmy, grab my razor. | 吉米 把我的剃须刀拿来 |
| [11:21] | We got a neck to shave! | 我可有一脖子的胡须要剃 |
| [11:25] | Morning. | 早安 |
| [11:26] | Nice shorts. | 短裤很帅 |
| [11:28] | Not a lot of guys can pull off the shorts and dark socks. | 没几个人能驾驭得了短裤配黑袜 |
| [11:32] | Hey. I got some detergent samples in my bag. | 我包里有些清洁剂样品 |
| [11:35] | They’re addressed to “Resident.” Interested? | 写着住户专用 要吗 |
| [11:39] | I’m a resident somewhere. | 我在某处也算住户 |
| [11:46] | Knock, knock. | 有人在吗 |
| [11:47] | Knock Knock Knock. Maid Service. | 敲敲帮钟点服务到了 |
| [11:49] | Down the hall and to your left. | 走廊直走左转 |
| [12:01] | Ah, oh, I think there’s been a mistake here. | 我想你是搞错了 |
| [12:04] | We’re a legitimate cleaning service. | 我们是正规清洁机构 |
| [12:07] | You called Knock Knock Knock. | 你叫来敲敲帮 |
| [12:09] | I think you wanted Knock Knock Nooky. | 可我看你想叫的是敲敲上 |
| [12:11] | Happens all the time. | 老是这样 |
| [12:12] | I think I have their number in here somewhere. | 我记得我有他们的号码 |
| [12:13] | Virginia… it’s me. | 维吉妮亚 是我 |
| [12:16] | Gary Barista? | 加里·布里斯塔 |
| [12:20] | That’s not the name that’s on here. | 这上面写的不是这名字啊 |
| [12:26] | Gary… I think you took what I said the other day | 加里 我觉得你误会我 |
| [12:30] | the wrong way. | 上次的那番话了 |
| [12:31] | No. You’re my destiny. | 不 你是我的命运 |
| [12:34] | I was just flirting. | 我只是和你调调情 |
| [12:36] | I am sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, | 如果害你误会我很抱歉 |
| [12:38] | but I’m a married woman. | 但我都结婚了 |
| [12:41] | Hey, we all have baggage. | 我们都有自己的包袱 |
| [12:43] | Believe me, | 比如我 |
| [12:44] | I have way too close a relationship with my mother. | 我就和我妈走得太近 |
| [12:46] | Hi, Mom. Um, she’s thinking about it right now, | 喂 妈 她正在考虑 |
| [12:48] | so can you call back in, like, ten? | 你过会儿再打吧 十分钟左右 |
| [12:50] | I am not thinking about it. | 我可没在考虑 |
| [12:53] | I know you won’t leave! | 我知道你不会走的 |
| [12:55] | Fate won’t let you leave. | 命运将你我绑在一起 |
| [12:56] | You are about to walk right back in this room. | 你马上就会回房的 |
| [13:00] | You’re about to walk back in this apartment! | 你马上就会回屋的 |
| [13:06] | There you are. | 找到你了 |
| [13:07] | I also have a coupon for some free panties. | 我这儿还有几张小裤裤的免费券 |
| [13:09] | Oh, my God, I did it again. | 我勒个去 又来一个 |
| [13:13] | You’re about to walk back in this building! | 你马上就会回这栋楼的 |
| [13:19] | You’re on trout-cleaning duty. | 今天你负责洗鳟鱼 |
| [13:21] | Big shipment just came in. | 刚到了一大批 |
| [13:23] | I don’t clean fish. | 我才不管洗鱼呢 |
| [13:25] | Never have, never will. | 从来不管 也不会管 |
| [13:26] | Now, go ask Barney. | 不信你去问巴尼 |
| [13:27] | I don’t have to ask him, ’cause you’re not my boss. | 你又不是我老板 我不去 |
| [13:30] | My boss is the well-groomed, tiny-handed man | 我老板是个略带洁癖 身形短小的家伙 |
| [13:33] | who told me | 他叫我 |
| [13:34] | to tell you to clean the trout. | 通知你去清洗鳟鱼 |
| [13:44] | This is the most passionate passion fruit iced tea I’ve ever had. | 这是我喝过最有激情的百香果冰茶了 |
| [13:48] | Well, making it is my passion. | 调制这茶是我的最爱 |
| [13:49] | Barney? | 巴尼 |
| [13:54] | Those patriotic nut jobs are picketing the hummus again. | 那些爱国疯子又在找鹰嘴豆的茬了 |
| [13:58] | When will they learn that chickpeas are not our enemies? | 他们啥时候才能明白鹰嘴豆不是阶级敌人啊 |
| [14:03] | Two can play at that flirting game, Sabrina. | 只要有两个人就能调情 塞布丽娜 |
| [14:05] | Oh, really? | 是吗 |
| [14:06] | Well, don’t get too comfy in my Snuggie, Chance. | 你可别太得意忘形了 吉斯 |
| [14:09] | Nobody steals my man! | 没人能抢走我的男人 |
| [14:11] | I can’t go out there without this. | 没这小旗子我可走不出去 |
| [14:25] | Burt. | 伯特 |
| [14:26] | What are you doing here? | 你干嘛 |
| [14:27] | Well, my wife said she’s totally cool | 我老婆说她不介意 |
| [14:29] | with what we were doing. | 我们的小把戏 |
| [14:30] | So the flirt train is back on track. | 所以风骚列车又要开动啦 |
| [14:35] | Really? | 是吗 |
| [14:37] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:43] | So, um… | 那 |
| [14:46] | it’s really hot out here today. | 今天外面真是太热了 |
| [14:47] | Oh, yeah, we’re-we’re done with the train thing? | 列车这一步要直接略过吗 |
| [14:49] | – I think so. – Okay. | -我想是吧 -好吧 |
| [14:50] | Uh, yeah, it’s really hot. | 没错 实在太热 |
| [14:53] | It might be a record. | 也许创新高了呢 |
| [14:57] | You want me to drink out of the hose or something? | 要我用软水管什么的喝水吗 |
| [14:58] | Okay. I’ll turn it on for you. | 好啊 我帮你开 |
| [15:08] | It’s still kind of hot. | 还是很热 |
| [15:14] | Oh, that’s coppery. | 一股子铜臭味 |
| [15:17] | You’re kind of coppery. | 你也一身古铜色啊 |
| [15:20] | I’m sorry, forget it. I can’t do this. | 抱歉 得了吧 我做不到 |
| [15:23] | I know. Now that we’ve talked about it, it just feels… | 我知道 现在说开了 就觉得 |
| [15:25] | Disgusting. | 恶心 |
| [15:32] | Oh, no, that’s Grandma juice, baby. | 不行 这是奶奶的饮料 宝贝儿 |
| [15:42] | What the hell? | 啥情况 |
| [15:43] | Virginia, you remember Gary from the cafe? | 维吉妮亚 还记得咖啡馆的加里吗 |
| [15:45] | Sure. Gary, nice to see ya… | 当然 加里嘛 很高兴见到你… |
| [15:48] | dressed. | 穿着衣服 |
| [15:51] | Why did you bring him here? | 你带他过来干嘛 |
| [15:52] | Well, I stopped by the coffee shop | 我刚路过咖啡店 |
| [15:54] | to get a scone, and Gary was crying, | 去买块烤饼 看到加里在哭 |
| [15:56] | going on and on about you | 满脸悲伤 |
| [15:57] | with that sad little face of his, | 不停地说你 |
| [15:59] | and he wouldn’t let me leave! | 死都不放我走 |
| [16:00] | Eventually, I realized that | 最后 我忽然领悟 |
| [16:01] | if I brought him here, he’d be your problem. | 我带他过来 他就归你解决了 |
| [16:03] | No. You are not leaving me alone with that nut job. | 不 你可不能把这烂差事单留给我 |
| [16:16] | Oh, hey. | 嗨 |
| [16:17] | – You guys enjoy your second TV break? – Yeah. | -电视剧又插播广告啦 -没错 |
| [16:20] | Ice Road Truckers. | 《冰路前行》 |
| [16:21] | Man, I can’t believe you were brave enough | 伙计 真不敢相信你居然这么勇敢 |
| [16:23] | to go through with that once. | 参加了那个节目 |
| [16:24] | Oh, well, it was really more of flower delivery van | 在堪萨斯州的托皮卡 |
| [16:25] | in Topeka, Kansas. | 开货车运输也很平常 |
| [16:27] | But the roads did get pretty slick. | 不过那路真的很滑 |
| [16:28] | Oh, you know what, Barney, | 知道吗 巴尼 |
| [16:30] | actually, this came for you earlier. | 这是之前寄给你的 |
| [16:32] | Oh, super. | 好极了 |
| [16:35] | “Dear Mr. Hughes, Congratulations | 亲爱的休斯先生 恭喜您 |
| [16:37] | “On being named winner of MTV’s Find the Coolest Boss contest. | 获得MTV台的最酷老板奖提名 |
| [16:41] | You didn’t. | 不是吧你 |
| [16:42] | “Enclosed is “A $20 gift certificate “To TJ Muckracker’s, | 内附深碟洋葱圈之家 TJ 马克瑞卡 |
| [16:46] | “Home of the Deep-Dish Onion Ring, for you | 价值20元的礼券 |
| [16:47] | “To share with the employee who nominated you, Sabrina Collins.” | 与提名你的雇员塞布丽娜·柯林斯一起分享吧 |
| [16:51] | Oh, my God, they told me it was gonna be anonymous. | 天哪 他们跟我保证这是匿名的 |
| [16:53] | Well, looks like you and I | 看来你我 |
| [16:54] | have a date to go to TJ Muckracker’s tonight. | 今晚要去参加TJ 马克瑞卡之夜了 |
| [16:56] | Barney, I love that place! | 巴尼 我超爱那里 |
| [16:58] | Oh, except you know what? I’m scheduled to close. | 只是 不巧今晚安排我负责打烊 |
| [17:01] | Oh, don’t worry, uh, Jimmy can stay and close up tonight. | 别担心 今晚吉米会留下来打烊的 |
| [17:03] | But I’m off at 6:00. | 可我今天6点下班 |
| [17:04] | Good, then you can stay and devein the shrimp until 9:00. | 很好 那9点前你可以给虾抽筋 |
| [17:06] | I am gonna call my ex-wife. | 我要给我前妻打电话 |
| [17:08] | I’ll be Perfect Doug doesn’t have a plaque | 还差块”MTV最酷对冲基金经理人”的奖牌 |
| [17:10] | that says “MTV’s Coolest Hedge Fund Manager.” | 我就能成为”完美道格”了 |
| [17:13] | Okay, you’ve won this round, Collins. | 好吧 这局算你赢 柯林斯 |
| [17:16] | But you can’t get Barney a plaque every week. | 但你不可能每周都给巴尼搞块奖牌 |
| [17:17] | Well, my uncle owns discount Trophies and Plaques, | 其实我可以 因为我叔叔 |
| [17:18] | so actually I can. | 开了家奖杯奖牌折扣店 |
| [17:20] | Oh, um, this came for you. | 对了 这个是你的 |
| [17:25] | Well, apparently, Perfect Doug has several plaques | 看来完美道格除了最后一块奖牌 |
| [17:28] | and a baby on the way. | 还有个宝宝就要诞生了 |
| [17:30] | Let’s go get drunk. | 咱们去一醉方休吧 |
| [17:39] | Hey, Sylvia | 好啊 西尔维娅 |
| [17:40] | I was just waiting for you to get in here, | 我正等着你回来 |
| [17:42] | so I can leave. | 解放我呢 |
| [17:42] | Maw Maw keeps saying I stole from her. | 奶奶非说我偷了她的东西 |
| [17:45] | Check her purse, I know she’s got my treasures. | 查她的包 我知道她偷了我的宝贝 |
| [17:49] | It’s take all I’ve got not slap her. | 再忍下去我就要抽她了 |
| [17:53] | I’m sure somewhere out there there’s a woman | 我相信肯定会有某个女人 |
| [17:56] | who wants to be lured into your apartment to find you naked. | 愿意被骗进屋里发现你浑身赤裸的 |
| [17:59] | Maybe you should try Greg’s list. | 也许你该试试格雷格名单上的那些 |
| [18:06] | Remember that guy I told you I flirted with, | 记得我说我调戏过的那人么 |
| [18:08] | Gary the waiter? | 那个服务生加里 |
| [18:09] | Well, now he’s Gary the stalker. | 现在他是跟踪狂加里了 |
| [18:11] | So thanks for encouraging me to flirt. | 所以 多谢你鼓励我去调情 |
| [18:13] | Well, exactly what did you say when you flirted? | 话说你调情的时候到底说了啥啊 |
| [18:16] | I don’t know, just nice things. | 不知道 反正捡好听的说 |
| [18:21] | Damn, son. | 擦 |
| [18:22] | What is that smell? | 啥味道啊 |
| [18:23] | The poop of 800 shrimps. | 800条虾尾 |
| [18:25] | It’s no use. Sabrina’s just way better at flirting than me. | 没用 塞布丽娜调情比我强太多了 |
| [18:28] | You two should have left the flirting to a professional. | 调情这种事应该交给专业人士来做 |
| [18:30] | Without the proper technique, it can be a very dangerous game. | 没有合适的技巧 这游戏会很危险的 |
| [18:33] | You wait here, | 你在这等着 |
| [18:33] | I’ll go take care of Gary, | 我去搞定加里 |
| [18:35] | and you– oh, man, you reek– | 而你 我靠 你太臭了 |
| [18:38] | do somhasmell. | 去除除臭 |
| [18:41] | You go out front and rinse off with the hose. | 到前院去 用水管冲 |
| [18:43] | Your Maw Maw eats in that bathtub. | 浴缸是你曾奶奶吃饭的地方 |
| [18:49] | Hey, buddy. | 哥们儿 |
| [18:52] | Please don’t kill me. | 求你别杀我 |
| [18:54] | Whoa, man. Why would I kill you? | 哥们儿 我为啥要杀你啊 |
| [18:56] | Because I’m stalking your wife and lured her to my apartment | 因为我跟踪你太太 还将她引诱到一个房间 |
| [18:58] | so she could find me naked on a bed of rose petals. | 好在她面前浑身赤裸 只用玫瑰花蔽体 |
| [19:01] | You know, when somebody asks, “Why would I kill you?” | 我说 有人问你为啥要杀你的时候 |
| [19:03] | you shouldn’t give him such a good reason. | 你真不该给出这么充分的理由 |
| [19:05] | But I’m not gonna kill you. | 但我不会杀你的 |
| [19:07] | Come on, have a beer. | 来 喝点酒 |
| [19:13] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [19:15] | It was just so exciting | 我只是太激动了 |
| [19:16] | when your wife complimented me. | 你太太居然会来恭维我 |
| [19:19] | I’ll never have anyone like her. | 从没有人向她那样赞赏过我 |
| [19:20] | I’m not all muscular and outdoorsy like you. | 我不是你这种类型的阳光肌肉男 |
| [19:23] | A lot of women like pale, indoorsy guys. | 很多女人都喜欢皮肤白嫩的居家男 |
| [19:27] | All I got are these muscles. | 可我只有肌肉 |
| [19:29] | You got a good job. | 你有份好工作 |
| [19:30] | I’m a barista. | 我是个咖啡店员 |
| [19:31] | And I’m a Chance. | 我是吉斯家的一员 |
| [19:32] | Both good families. | 都是好家庭 |
| [19:34] | Plus, you’re a waiter, | 而且 你是个服务生 |
| [19:35] | which means you’re good at math. | 意味着你数学很好 |
| [19:36] | So you’re smart. | 也就是说你很聪明 |
| [19:37] | And I don’t think you can do your job | 如果不成为一个好的倾听者 |
| [19:38] | without being a good listener. | 你是无法做好本职工作的 |
| [19:39] | Women love good listeners. | 女人都喜欢好的倾听者 |
| [19:40] | Hey, that’s true. A lot of waiters | 是啊 很多服务生都这么说 |
| [19:42] | say, uh, no substitutions, | 没别的意思 |
| [19:44] | but I actually encourage them. | 可我其实挺鼓励他们的 |
| [19:46] | Plus, you pursued a married woman who has no interest in you. | 再而且 你追的是个对你没兴趣的有夫之妇 |
| [19:49] | That means… | 也就是说 |
| [19:49] | – I’m nuts? – No. | -我是个蠢蛋 -不 |
| [19:51] | You’re a guy who never gives up. | 你是个永不言败的人 |
| [19:54] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [19:55] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [19:56] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [19:57] | Hi, Mom. | 嗨 妈妈 |
| [19:59] | no, it didn’t work out. | 不 没成功 |
| [20:02] | But I might have met my new best friend. | 但我似乎认识了我的新任挚友 |
| [20:04] | No? | 不是吗 |
| [20:06] | Never mind. I’ll call you back. | 当我没说 回头打给你 |
| [20:09] | Good luck with everything, buddy. | 祝你好运 哥们儿 |
| [20:10] | Hey, remember that Web site I was telling you about: | 对了 记住我跟你说的那个网址 |
| [20:13] | painfreetweezers.com. | 万事无忧.com |
| [20:18] | I don’t think he’ll be stalking you anymore. | 估计他不会再跟踪你了 |
| [20:22] | You got a lot more going for you than muscles. | 你的魅力可不只限于肌肉 |
| [20:25] | What you said to that guy was really smart. | 你刚才跟那家伙说的话真是太有才了 |
| [20:28] | I was in there for 45 minutes– | 我之前在那憋了45分钟 |
| [20:30] | I couldn’t make a dent in that sap. | 屁都没憋出来一个 |
| [20:34] | It’s not just flirting. | 其实那不只是调情 |
| [20:37] | It’s the ability to make people feel really good about themselves. | 那是让人们感到更加自信的能力 |
| [20:42] | Maybe you’re right. | 也许你是对的 |
| [20:44] | Maybe I am more than just great on the outside. | 也许我不只外貌出众 |
| [20:48] | I’m great up here. | 而且还冰雪聪明 |
| [20:54] | What am I thinking? | 我在想什么啊 |
| [20:55] | I’m gonna need a mirror. | 我要去找个镜子 |
| [20:59] | Dad did have great insight. | 老爹确实有很强的洞察力 |
| [21:01] | Well, about most things. | 好吧 在大多数事情上是的 |
| [21:04] | He knew I was bummed because things didn’t work out | 他知道我不爽 是因为我在杂货店 |
| [21:07] | with my flirting at the grocery store. | 跟人比调情失败了 |
| [21:11] | But he also knew what it would take | 但他也知道要怎样 |
| [21:13] | to make me feel a lot better about myself. | 才能让我重拾自信 |
| [21:16] | I’m passing the torch, son. | 我要传递火种了 儿子 |
| [21:20] | Remember, | 记住 |
| [21:21] | all you’re selling is the dream. | 你卖的只是美梦 |