| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:11] | Oh! 11-3 us. | 哈哈 11比3 我们赢了 |
| [00:13] | That’s not fair. Our team’s like | 这不公平 我们岁数加起来 |
| [00:14] | 120 years older than yours. | 比你们大十轮 |
| [00:16] | It is fair because this is Sabrina’s first time playing. | 绝对公平 因为塞布丽娜这是第一次参赛 |
| [00:18] | Sorry, did we forget to explain to Sabrina | 抱歉 我们是不是忘了跟塞布丽娜 |
| [00:20] | the complicated rules of living-room-balloon-ball? | 介绍客厅气球那复杂的玩法了 |
| [00:23] | You hit the balloon over the couch. | 你得把气球打过沙发 |
| [00:24] | Okay, we all up to speed now? | 大伙都明白了吗 |
| [00:26] | Rotate. | 换位 |
| [00:30] | Hey, hey, hey. | 喂喂喂 |
| [00:31] | Hey, didn’t know if I’d catch you on a Saturday. | 喂 没想到周六会接到我电话吧 |
| [00:33] | – Hi, Dad. – Is he there? | -你好 爸爸 -是儿子吗 |
| [00:35] | You promised to yell for me when he picked up. | 你说好接通了就喊我的 |
| [00:37] | I did yell, but you didn’t hear me | 我喊了 是你没听到 |
| [00:39] | because you refuse to wear the hearing aid. | 因为你不肯戴助听器 |
| [00:41] | Makes me look old. | 戴着显老嘛 |
| [00:42] | You know what makes you look old? | 知道怎么才叫显老么 |
| [00:43] | – Saying “What?” – What? | -那就是大喊”啥” -啥 |
| [00:45] | Wear the aid or get off the phone, Christine. | 快戴上助听器 否则就把电话挂了 克里斯汀 |
| [00:47] | Anyway, Burt, your brother Bruce can’t have us | 话说 伯特 你哥哥布鲁斯 |
| [00:49] | for Thanksgiving this year. | 今年感恩节回不来了 |
| [00:51] | He’ll be on an Alaskan cruise. | 他要去环游阿拉斯加 |
| [00:52] | Did you tell him about Alaska? | 你跟他聊过阿拉斯加了吗 |
| [00:54] | – Yes. – What? | -当然 -啥 |
| [00:55] | What can I do for you guys? | 那你们想让我怎么着 |
| [00:57] | The long and short of it is this, Burtie, | 长话短说 伯特 |
| [00:59] | since Bruce will be gone, | 既然布鲁斯不在 |
| [01:00] | we thought we’d spend the holiday at your place. | 我们打算去你那儿过节 |
| [01:02] | Obviously it won’t be as fancy as Bruce’s, | 尽管不如布鲁斯那儿舒坦 |
| [01:04] | but it’ll be more like the original Thanksgiving– | 但更接近感恩节的本质 |
| [01:07] | no heat, and I’m sure some of the food will be donated. | 不用激动 我保证会带点吃的来 |
| [01:10] | I’m kidding, son. | 开玩笑啦 儿子 |
| [01:11] | But look, it’s been way too many years since we saw you. | 但你看 我们确实太久没见了 |
| [01:14] | What do you say? | 你意下如何 |
| [01:16] | My parents want to come here for Thanksgiving! | 我爸妈想来这儿过感恩节 |
| [01:18] | And they’ll see that I haven’t done anything | 他们会发现这五年来 |
| [01:19] | with my life in the last five years! | 我一事无成的 |
| [01:20] | Burt, are you there? | 伯特 你在听吗 |
| [01:21] | I’ll bet he didn’t pay his phone bill. | 我打赌他肯定没付电话费 |
| [01:23] | Burt, you’re just torturing yourself. | 伯特 你这是找虐 |
| [01:24] | We’re not that close with these people. | 我们跟他们没那么亲近 |
| [01:26] | They always judge you. | 他们就会对你指指点点的 |
| [01:27] | Just tell them we made other plans. | 就说咱有别的计划了 |
| [01:29] | See you at Thanksgiving. Can’t wait. Love you. | 感恩节见 我都迫不及待了 爱你们 |
| [01:32] | I was thinking what you said, | 我边思考着你的话 |
| [01:34] | but then these other words came out. | 边脱口而出了那一串 |
| [01:35] | Oh, stupid brain. | 猪脑子 |
| [01:48] | Four days. | 只剩四天了 |
| [01:49] | Four days to make this place presentable. | 四天内要把这狗窝收拾得能见人 |
| [01:51] | We got to work like the boss is watching. | 我们得抓紧了 |
| [01:53] | Oh, and Jimmy, you got to get rid | 吉米 假期这几天 |
| [01:54] | of that baby for the holiday. | 你得暂时把宝宝送走 |
| [01:56] | – What? She won’t care. – It’s not Christmas. | -什么 -她不会介意的 又不是圣诞节 |
| [01:59] | Having a baby out of wedlock | 未婚生子 |
| [02:00] | was one of the biggest things they judged me for. | 是他们最受不了我的一点 |
| [02:02] | I don’t want them judging me again | 我可不想因为你 |
| [02:03] | for letting you repeat the cycle. | 再被说三道四 |
| [02:04] | It’s like a self-refilling prophecy. | 这就是轮回啊 |
| [02:06] | Thank you. So ditch the kid. | 谢谢 所以把孩子托管掉 |
| [02:08] | In fact, you can go with her. | 你和她一起走也行 |
| [02:10] | ‘Cause you remind them of my mistake. | 你的存在正好提醒了他们我当年的失足 |
| [02:12] | Now I got to go evict the porch squirrels. | 我现在去收拾下走廊上的松鼠 |
| [02:16] | So I take it Burt’s relationship with his parents | 我没看错的话 伯特和他家人 |
| [02:18] | is kind of estranged? | 关系够疏远的 |
| [02:19] | Oh, no, it’s completely strange. | 不准确 应该说是陌生 |
| [02:21] | Two malaprops in a row. God, I love this family. | 够荒唐的 上帝啊 我爱这家人 |
| [02:23] | Yeah, they are malaprops, but they’re also his parents. | 他们是很荒唐 但好歹也是他父母 |
| [02:26] | And they really do a number on him. | 可他们却没少伤害他感情 |
| [02:28] | It’s because he knows | 因为他知道 |
| [02:29] | that they’ve always thought he was a screw-up. | 他们一直觉得他就是个笑话 |
| [02:31] | Here you go, Brucie, a dollar for every “A.” | 收好 布鲁斯 得一个A赏一块钱 |
| [02:34] | Keep getting grades like that, | 再这样下去 |
| [02:35] | I’m going to have to get a second job. | 看来我得找份兼职了 |
| [02:37] | Hey, I got two “A’s” On my report card. | 我的作文得了两个A |
| [02:39] | You know what else has two “A’s”? “Jackass.” | 知道哪个单词里有两个A吗 是笨蛋 |
| [02:45] | We don’t mean to laugh, but your brother’s very clever. | 我们不是故意笑出声的 但你哥哥真聪明 |
| [02:48] | “Jackass” Does have two “A’s” In it. | 笨蛋里确实有两个A |
| [02:51] | In the spelling– there’s two “A’s” In the… | 拼法上 是有两个A |
| [02:55] | Go play with your trucks. | 玩小车车去吧 |
| [02:58] | I just got into business school. | 我被商学院录取了 |
| [02:59] | Way to go, Bruce. I knew it. | 毫无悬念 布鲁斯 我就知道 |
| [03:02] | I got Virginia pregnant. | 维吉妮亚怀孕了 |
| [03:04] | I knew it. | 我就知道 |
| [03:06] | Get that thing off my counter. | 把那玩意儿拿开 |
| [03:07] | There’s pee on it. | 上面有尿 |
| [03:09] | Yeah, business is going great. | 生意还算红火 |
| [03:12] | Turns out it was a good thing I had a kid early, | 幸好我老早就生了个儿子 |
| [03:14] | ’cause now I have an assistant on the job. | 现在工作上正好有帮手了 |
| [03:16] | How is Jimmy? | 吉米还好吧 |
| [03:17] | Great. Busy. Choosing colleges. | 很好 忙着申请大学 |
| [03:21] | Somebody was supposed to pick me up from the mall! | 不是该有人去商场接我么 |
| [03:25] | I had to walk three miles in humidity, | 害得我在湿气里暴走三英里 |
| [03:28] | you worthless sheep! | 你们这群胆小鬼 |
| [03:30] | He’s going through a little phase. | 他正处于过渡期 |
| [03:32] | Jimmy, | 吉米 |
| [03:33] | you remember your grandparents, don’t you? | 还记得你爷爷奶奶吗 |
| [03:35] | Check out my new piercing. | 来看看我新穿的孔吧 |
| [03:43] | Bruce’s son has one with a real diamond. | 布鲁斯他儿子可是镶了颗真钻的 |
| [03:47] | No matter how hard Dad tries, | 无论老爸多努力 |
| [03:49] | his parents always think | 他父母总会觉得 |
| [03:50] | Bruce’s poo doesn’t stink, and Dad’s does. | 他的热脸香不过布鲁斯的一个冷屁股 |
| [03:53] | Which is sort of true, because Bruce eats a very bland diet. | 某种程度上确实如此 布鲁斯饮食可相当清淡 |
| [04:00] | Poor baby. | 我的小可怜啊 |
| [04:01] | It still kills him that he doesn’t have their approval. | 自残自虐只为获得他们的认可 |
| [04:14] | So I know you’re bummed about your parents visiting, | 我知道你父母要来让你很不开心 |
| [04:16] | but I think I got an idea | 不过我想了个法子 |
| [04:17] | that’ll make you feel a lot better. | 应该会让你好受点 |
| [04:19] | This is a house I clean… | 这是我打扫过的一间屋子 |
| [04:20] | Are we going to have unfamiliar bedroom sex? | 你是要带我去别人家卧室大战一场吗 |
| [04:22] | I knew that erotic suggestion box would pay off. | 我就知道投给情欲箱的建议会实现 |
| [04:25] | Thank you, Oprah. | 谢谢你 奥普拉 |
| [04:26] | That’s not it. Come inside. | 别歪歪了 快进来 |
| [04:29] | Oh, are we going to have unfamiliar kitchen sex? | 你是想在厨房做吗 |
| [04:32] | This could be our only chance to have sex on an island. | 这可能是我们这辈子唯一一次在洗手台上嘿咻 |
| [04:35] | I noticed this when I was cleaning here earlier today. | 我今天早些时候发现的这个 |
| [04:39] | They’re going on vacation during Thanksgiving. | 他们感恩节要去度假 |
| [04:42] | It’s perfect, Burt. | 超完美啊有木有 伯特 |
| [04:44] | We can tell your parents we’ve been working real hard, | 我们可以跟你父母说我们有多努力工作 |
| [04:47] | saving up our money. | 存钱 |
| [04:48] | And we bought this house. | 最后买下了这栋房子 |
| [04:49] | -It’s perfect! – I know! | -无懈可击 -没错 |
| [04:51] | You don’t have to feel like a loser anymore. | 你不用再自卑觉得自己是废柴了 |
| [04:53] | I love you so much. | 我太爱你了 |
| [04:55] | You know what I want to do right now? | 知道我现在想干嘛吗 |
| [04:57] | Have sex with me on an island? | 和我在岛上滚床单吗 |
| [04:59] | Okay, but let’s wipe it down real good first. | 好吧 不过先把这里擦干净 |
| [05:00] | People cut raw chicken on these things. | 这里可是切生鸡肉的地方 |
| [05:14] | That one. | 那只吧 |
| [05:15] | No, no, no, wait. | 不 不 不 等等 |
| [05:17] | He has sad eyes. | 他眼神太忧伤了 |
| [05:19] | Cook that one. | 煮那只吧 |
| [05:21] | Okay, okay, sorry, sorry. Not you. | 好吧 好吧 抱歉 对不起 不杀你 |
| [05:24] | I can’t do this. | 我狠不下心 |
| [05:25] | It’s best if you don’t look in their eyes. | 秘诀是别看他们的眼睛 |
| [05:27] | Just say Edgar or Morty. | 就说选埃德加还是莫蒂 |
| [05:29] | What’s going on? | 搞什么呐 |
| [05:30] | Barney’s going to pretend to be my parents’ caterer | 巴尼要装扮成我父母的厨师 |
| [05:31] | on Thanksgiving to impress my grandparents. | 在感恩节雷一下我祖父母 |
| [05:34] | We’re going to go with this one. | 就这一只好了 |
| [05:36] | He’s old, and I don’t think he’ll make it to next Thanksgiving. | 他老了 我觉得他撑不过明年 |
| [05:38] | Plus, I want him to die with dignity. | 而且我希望他有尊严得死去 |
| [05:40] | And not just end up as turkey burgers on the Fourth of July. | 别沦落到做国庆节火鸡汉堡的份儿上 |
| [05:43] | Oh, hey, do you want to hang out for Thanksgiving? | 喂 感恩节带我玩不 |
| [05:46] | – Seriously? – Yeah. | -说真的吗 -是啊 |
| [05:47] | Wyatt’s away interviewing at law schools, | 怀特有法学院的面试 |
| [05:49] | and my family’s taking the jet to Turkey | 我家人又飞去了土耳其 |
| [05:51] | for what they’re called “An ironic Thanksgiving”. | 登上他们”讽刺的感恩节之旅” |
| [05:53] | So I’m alone, too. | 所以我落单了 |
| [05:54] | That would be great. | 那太好啦 |
| [05:55] | Yeah, pretend to be a little family. | 对啊 假装成一家人 |
| [05:57] | Well, if we’re going to pretend, | 如果我们要扮的话 |
| [05:59] | we could go to the fake house with everybody else. | 我们也像其他人一样去那栋房子 |
| [06:01] | My dad can’t have a problem with his parents meeting Hope | 如果喜旺有个娘 我爹肯定 |
| [06:03] | if she has a mother. | 愿意让她见见我祖父母 |
| [06:04] | Oh, my God, it’ll be like turkey dinner theater. | 天呐 简直就是火鸡晚餐大戏 |
| [06:06] | I just hope I can pull it off. | 我只希望能混过去 |
| [06:07] | I’m not so great at lying, | 我不擅长撒谎 |
| [06:08] | and this is really important to my dad. | 但这对我爹真的很重要 |
| [06:10] | Okay. Well, maybe we should practice kissing a couple times | 好 也许我们得练练亲亲 |
| [06:13] | so it’s not awkward when we do it | 要不到时候在你祖父母面前亲亲 |
| [06:14] | – in front of your grandparents. – Okay. | -会感觉尴尬的 -好啊 |
| [06:19] | – How was that? – I feel like we looked uncomfortable. | -怎么样 -感觉不是很自然 |
| [06:22] | – Let’s try again. – Okay. | -再来一个 -好 |
| [06:26] | He’s old, but he’s got | 他是老 但他比我想象的 |
| [06:26] | a lot more fight left in him than I thought. | 要坚贞不屈得多 |
| [06:50] | We’re home. | 到家啦 |
| [07:16] | This is your new room, Maw Maw. | 这是你的新房间 奶奶 |
| [07:19] | Nice. | 给力啊 |
| [07:26] | In my day, they were shaped more like penises. | 在我的时代 这个通常会做成小鸡鸡的形状 |
| [07:30] | They’re here. | 他们来了 |
| [07:32] | They’re here! | 他们来了 |
| [07:33] | – Welcome. – Wow, wow, what a place. | -欢迎喔 -哇喔 真漂亮啊 |
| [07:37] | Burt, I don’t believe this. | 伯特 我真无法相信 |
| [07:39] | Aw, crap. | 唉 该死 |
| [07:40] | It was Virginia’s idea… | 是维吉妮亚想出来的 |
| [07:42] | To, um, move into this neighborhood. | 想出来要 呃 搬到这一区 |
| [07:44] | Because, uh, they have better schools here. | 因为 呃 这是学区房 |
| [07:46] | Grampy and Grandma! | 爷爷奶奶 |
| [07:48] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [07:50] | No creepy makeup. Thank God. | 没有吓人的装扮 谢天谢地 |
| [07:52] | Got a surprise for you. | 有惊喜给你们 |
| [07:53] | You didn’t put another earring in your swizzle stick, did you? | 不是在调酒棒上又弄了个环吧 |
| [07:56] | No, I’ve been using my swizzle stick for other things. | 不 我的调酒棒做了点别的 |
| [07:58] | Hi. | 你们好啊 |
| [07:59] | Surprise. | 惊喜喔 |
| [08:00] | Uh, this is my wife, | 这是我内人 |
| [08:02] | – Sabrina. – Hi. | -塞布丽娜 -你好 |
| [08:03] | And this is your great-granddaughter Hope. | 这是你们的重孙女 喜旺 |
| [08:05] | Jimmy, I just got to ask– | 吉米 我先问问你 |
| [08:07] | in light of your parents’ track record, | 根据你父母的历史情况 |
| [08:09] | did the marriage cause | 是结婚生子 |
| [08:11] | the baby or did the baby cause the marriage? | 还是奉子成婚啊 |
| [08:14] | Ha, ha, that’s rich. | 哈哈 真搞笑 |
| [08:15] | Just like me. Come on, I’ll give you the tour. | 像我一样 来吧 我带你们转转 |
| [08:19] | I never get tired of looking at all my cool stuff. | 我这些宝贝怎么看都不厌 |
| [08:22] | Venison meatballs? | 要来点鹿肉丸子吗 |
| [08:23] | Uh, this is Barnard, our caterer. | 这是巴纳德 我们的厨子 |
| [08:26] | He does all our big events– | 大餐都是他做 |
| [08:27] | Thanksgiving, Christmas, | 感恩节啦 圣诞节啦 |
| [08:29] | WrestleMania. | 摔跤狂热大赛啦 |
| [08:31] | Enjoy. | 请享用 |
| [08:41] | Argh, matey. | 呜嗷 伙计 |
| [08:45] | She won’t take a nap. | 她不想睡 |
| [08:46] | I think it’s ’cause she’s in a strange place. | 我猜她不习惯呆在陌生的地方 |
| [08:49] | Her and I are in a strange place | 我是说她和我 |
| [08:51] | emotionally, lately. | 最近有点情感有点生疏 |
| [08:53] | Sabrina was just telling me about the day you met. | 塞布丽娜在讲你们认识那天 |
| [08:56] | That was very courageous | 你真勇敢啊 |
| [08:58] | how you lost a testicle | 你损失了一个睾丸 |
| [08:59] | saving her from an armed robber. | 但保护她免受持枪歹徒的伤害 |
| [09:02] | Luckily he went after the criminal doing a cartwheel. | 幸好他在歹徒换弹夹时将他制服了 |
| [09:04] | Or he’d have taken that bullet right between the eyes. | 不然那枪就要打在眉心了 |
| [09:08] | Um, that’s right. | 说得没错 |
| [09:09] | And the truth is, is without the other one there taking up space, | 事实是 没有那只睾丸占地方 |
| [09:12] | the one that is left has just gotten gigantic. | 另一个睾丸变得好大喔 |
| [09:15] | They’re like goldfish. | 就像金鱼一样 |
| [09:16] | The more space they have, the bigger they get. | 只要有空间就疯长 |
| [09:18] | I love giant goldfish. | 我就喜欢大金鱼 |
| [09:20] | Why don’t you take Great-Grandma and show her your fishies. | 要不要带曾祖母看看你的鱼鱼啊 |
| [09:24] | I want to see your fishies. | 我要看你的鱼鱼 |
| [09:27] | Shot me in the testicle?! Really?! | 一枪崩了我的睾丸 不是吧 |
| [09:29] | I know. Isn’t it hilarious? It was Sabrina’s idea. | 我知道 好笑吧 塞布丽娜想出来的 |
| [09:32] | And by the way, | 还有 |
| [09:33] | I told her that we potty trained Hope at six months. | 我告诉她喜旺六个月大就开始坐便训练 |
| [09:35] | So if she starts to stink, whoever’s holding her | 所以她如果变臭了 抱着她的人 |
| [09:37] | is going to have to apologize for farting. | 就要道歉并解释为自己放屁了 |
| [09:39] | I just love all this playacting. | 我太爱这角色扮演了 |
| [09:42] | I haven’t had this much fun since I did improv games | 自从早育妈妈中心的即兴表演以来 |
| [09:44] | at the teen mom center. | 我好久没这么开心了 |
| [09:46] | They thought it would help | 他们说常做即兴表演 |
| [09:47] | us talk our way out of having sex the next time. | 我们就会性趣全无了 |
| [10:07] | “Hey, girl, whatcha doing?” | “嘿 妞 做什么呐” |
| [10:10] | “Reading what you just wrote.” | “在看你的消息呀” |
| [10:13] | Dummy. | 猪头 |
| [10:15] | “What are you wearing?” | “你穿什么呐” |
| [10:21] | “Sweater set, control top pantyhose | 毛衣 连体袜裤 |
| [10:26] | and, uh, navy slacks.” | 还有 藏青色裤子 |
| [10:31] | “Weird. | 诡异 |
| [10:33] | You might be more comfortable | 也许都脱了 |
| [10:36] | taking that off.” | 你会觉得更舒服 |
| [10:40] | “Makes sense to me.” | 有点道理 |
| [10:43] | Boy, this is beautiful, beautiful. | 儿子 这里真是太棒了 |
| [10:45] | Hey, I hope you don’t mind, I raided your humidor. | 我扫荡了下你的雪茄盒 不介意吧 |
| [10:48] | You’ve got quite a few illegal Cubans in there. | 你那儿可有不少非法的古巴烟 |
| [10:50] | Oh, yeah? | 是吗 |
| [10:51] | Maybe we should let them out. | 或许我们应该把它们放出来 |
| [10:54] | Well, I already did. | 没错 我已经带出来啦 |
| [10:58] | You know, son, I’m really impressed | 儿子 我真为你所拥有的一切 |
| [11:01] | with all of this. | 感到骄傲 |
| [11:02] | I mean, look at this. | 看看这个 |
| [11:04] | This is 40-year-old scotch. | 这可是40年前的苏格兰酒 |
| [11:06] | Oh, yeah, I’ve been meaning to get rid of that. | 是嘛 我是打算处理了呢 |
| [11:08] | It’s probably gone bad by now. | 这么长时间估计都坏了 |
| [11:10] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [11:13] | There we go. | 来一杯 |
| [11:15] | To you, son. | 敬你 儿子 |
| [11:17] | To me. | 敬我 |
| [11:24] | Fire in the hole. | 点个火 |
| [11:34] | This is great, ain’t it? | 超赞 有没有 |
| [11:38] | “You make me crazy. | 你令我疯狂 |
| [11:40] | “I want to see you right now. | 我现在就想看到你 |
| [11:42] | Let’s video chat.” | 我们视频吧 |
| [11:45] | Well, I could do that. | 没问题 |
| [11:55] | So if you like your dinner, | 晚餐还满意吧 |
| [11:57] | I purchased all of the ingredients at Howdy’s Market. | 所有的配料我都是在毫迪超市采购的 |
| [12:00] | In the future, Barnard, we prefer | 以后啊 巴纳德 |
| [12:02] | you shop at the high-end market | 我们还是希望你去高端点的超市采购 |
| [12:04] | because when you’re rich, | 毕竟你有钱了 |
| [12:05] | you don’t concern yourself with prices. | 不用在乎价格了 |
| [12:07] | Clap, clap. | 鼓掌 |
| [12:10] | I, I found my diary! | 我 我找到我的日记啦 |
| [12:12] | Apparently, | 显然 |
| [12:13] | me and-and some guy named Brayden are in love | 我爱上了一个叫布莱登的小子 |
| [12:17] | and there’s nothing anybody can do about it. | 没什么能浇灭我们的爱火 |
| [12:26] | Anybody gonna get that? | 谁去接 |
| [12:28] | Uh, they’ll call back. | 他们会再打回来的 |
| [12:33] | Hello, thank you for calling. You’ve reached… | 你好 感谢来电 您拨打的是… |
| [12:35] | * My country ’tis of thee * | 我的祖国 |
| [12:39] | * Sweet land of liberty * | 可爱的自由之邦 |
| [12:43] | * Of thee I sing * | 我为您歌唱 |
| [12:46] | * Land where my father died * | 先辈终老的土地 |
| [12:50] | * Land of the pilgrims’ pride * | 引以为傲的土地 |
| [12:55] | * From every mountainside * | 让自由之声 |
| [12:59] | * Let freedom ring. * | 响彻每一座山岗 |
| [13:05] | We do that every day at 7:00. | 我们每天7点都要唱一遍 |
| [13:09] | 14. | 是7点14 |
| [13:12] | I don’t want to talk about it. | 我不想谈这个 |
| [13:14] | We have to talk about it. | 我们必须谈 |
| [13:15] | – I don’t want to. – We have no other option, Ralph. | -我不要 -我们别无选择 拉尔夫 |
| [13:17] | I can’t take it anymore. | 我忍不下去了 |
| [13:19] | We have to tell Burt the truth. | 我们必须告诉伯特真相 |
| [13:21] | Tell me the truth about what? | 告诉我什么真相 |
| [13:23] | Is it that I’m adopted? | 我是被领养的吗 |
| [13:25] | ‘Cause every time I change the radio stations in the car | 因为我每次在车上换频道的时候 |
| [13:27] | and the Mexican music comes on, | 只要墨西哥音乐一放 |
| [13:29] | I just start dancing in my seat. | 我就忍不住想跳舞 |
| [13:30] | I can’t control it. | 完全没法控制 |
| [13:31] | – That’s not it, Burt. – Christine? | -这倒不是 伯特 -克里斯汀 |
| [13:33] | We’re completely broke and we’re about to lose our house. | 我们彻底破产了 连房子也要没了 |
| [13:38] | What happened, dad? | 怎么回事 爸爸 |
| [13:39] | I had all my retirement money tied up with Bernie Madoff | 我把我所有的退休金都投资到 |
| [13:42] | and Borders bookstores, and I lost it all. | 伯尼·马多夫和布莱德书店了 现在打水漂了 |
| [13:45] | That’s the real reason we came here. | 这是我们来这里的真正原因 |
| [13:47] | They kicked us out of our house. We’re homeless. | 他们把我们赶出家门 我们无家可归了 |
| [13:51] | But now that I see how well you’re doing, | 可现在我看到你那么有出息 |
| [13:53] | what do you think of us living with you | 你觉得我们搬过来一起住 |
| [13:55] | until we get back on our feet? | 直到我们能自力更生怎么样 |
| [14:00] | We’d be honored. | 荣幸之至 |
| [14:07] | What the hell are you thinking? | 你想啥呢 |
| [14:09] | They can’t stay here because we don’t live here. | 他们不能住在这儿 因为我们也不住这儿 |
| [14:12] | I know, I know, | 我知道 知道 |
| [14:13] | but do you have any idea how great that felt? | 可你知道这感觉有多棒吗 |
| [14:15] | I’m their hero now. | 现在我是他们的英雄 |
| [14:17] | I’ve waited my whole life for this. | 为了这一刻 我等了一辈子了 |
| [14:19] | Talking like this hurts my voice. | 这么说话我嗓子很难受 |
| [14:21] | Burt, the people who own this house | 伯特 这屋子的主人 |
| [14:23] | – are gonna come back. – Not for three days. | -就快回来了 -三天内总不会 |
| [14:25] | Please, Virginia, let me feel like this for three more days, | 拜托 维吉妮亚 再让我享受三天 |
| [14:27] | and then I’ll tell them the truth, I promise. | 然后我会告诉他们真相 我保证 |
| [14:29] | It is kind of fun pretending to be other people. | 假扮成别人也还有点意思 |
| [14:33] | Three more days can’t hurt. | 再三天也没什么 |
| [14:34] | Yeah. | 就是 |
| [14:35] | So, uh… | 那么 |
| [14:37] | what do you say to some unfamiliar bed sex? | 你觉得来一把陌生床爱爱怎样 |
| [14:40] | All right. Ooh, I’m gonna go find some earrings. | 行 不过我得去找点耳环 |
| [14:42] | I want to look like one of those chicks from Real Housewives. | 我想打扮得像真正的有钱人家夫人一样 |
| [15:06] | Aren’t you our maid? | 你不是我们的女佣吗 |
| [15:08] | Probably not anymore. | 可能以后就不是了 |
| [15:10] | You might want to check your kitchen calendar. | 你们是不是再去厨房查查日程表 |
| [15:12] | You’re not supposed to be home for three days. | 你们三天内都不该回来呢 |
| [15:14] | Someone just had to try the moguls. | 有人非得逞强结果失败了 |
| [15:17] | But that’s not the point. | 但那不是重点 |
| [15:21] | Oh, yeah, my grandmother’s also sleeping | 对了 我奶奶还睡在 |
| [15:24] | in your daughter’s room. | 你女儿的房间 |
| [15:25] | A woman? Thank you, God! | 一个女人 感谢上帝 |
| [15:27] | And apparently my son’s fake wife is sleeping | 显然 我儿子的假老婆睡在 |
| [15:30] | in your son’s bed. | 你儿子的床上 |
| [15:33] | These are beautiful, by the way. | 顺便说一句 耳环很漂亮 |
| [15:39] | Boy, you guys sure high-tailed it out of there fast. | 你们最好赶紧把那里的好东西都搬出来 |
| [15:42] | I should get those people to come over here | 我得请人来这里玩 |
| [15:44] | and kick you out of this house. | 然后把你们赶出去 |
| [15:45] | Well, since it doesn’t seem to matter anyway… | 既然现在貌似也无所谓了 |
| [15:50] | I’m not actually Jimmy’s wife. | 我其实不是吉米的妻子 |
| [15:52] | I just thought it would be fun pretending | 我只是觉得扮演别人 |
| [15:53] | to be somebody that I’m not. | 挺有意思的 |
| [15:55] | I’m Tiffany Hargrove. | 我叫蒂芙妮·哈格洛夫 |
| [15:56] | I’m, uh, the artistic director | 我是那什维夜剧场的 |
| [15:58] | of the Natesville Dinner Theater. | 艺术指导 |
| [15:59] | And, well, I gotta run | 现在 我得赶紧走了 |
| [16:01] | ’cause I’m running a little late | 因为我已经有点晚了 |
| [16:02] | for a dress rehearsal for Fiddler on the Roof. | 我们在彩排《屋顶上的小提琴手》 |
| [16:04] | Toodles! | 拜拜 |
| [16:06] | So where’s your real wife? | 那你的正牌老婆呢 |
| [16:08] | I’m a single father. | 我是单身爸爸 |
| [16:09] | Hope’s real mother got electrocuted. | 喜旺的亲妈被电死了 |
| [16:11] | Oh, that’s so sad. | 真可怜 |
| [16:13] | Faulty wiring? | 线路误接吗 |
| [16:14] | Yeah, in her head. Murdered a bunch of folks. | 是啊 脑子短路 杀了一帮子人 |
| [16:16] | Got the electric chair. | 然后坐电椅去了 |
| [16:17] | Also, two testicles. Two. | 还有 我有两个蛋蛋 两个 |
| [16:23] | I can’t believe you lied to us about having money. | 真不敢相信你骗我们说你有钱了 |
| [16:26] | What about you? You call and say you want | 那你呢 你打电话说 |
| [16:27] | to visit at Thanksgiving, | 你只是想来过感恩节 |
| [16:28] | but you kinda left out the part about you being homeless. | 你可没提你们无家可归的事 |
| [16:31] | You’re right. You’re right. I blew it. | 好吧好吧 是我搞砸了 |
| [16:32] | The only thing I have left of any value is | 我剩下的唯一值点钱的东西 |
| [16:34] | this antique pocket watch. | 就是这古董怀表了 |
| [16:36] | And that’s only because I just stole it | 这还是我从刚才那房子里 |
| [16:38] | from that house we were just in. | 顺手偷回来的 |
| [16:39] | Give me that. | 给我 |
| [16:41] | I’ll put it back Tuesday. | 我周二还回去 |
| [16:44] | When Bruce comes back into town, | 等布鲁斯回来 |
| [16:45] | I’ll explain everything. You can go stay with him. | 我会解释一切 你们可以去跟他住 |
| [16:47] | No, you can’t do that. I don’t want Bruce to find out. | 不 我不想让布鲁斯知道 |
| [16:51] | Please, save me this one bit of dignity | 拜托 让我留下这仅存的一点尊严吧 |
| [16:53] | until I figure out a way to get back on my feet. | 直到我东山再起 |
| [16:55] | Well, you can stay here in the meantime. | 好吧 你们可以先住这儿 |
| [16:57] | It’s not as lavish as the other place, | 这没有别的地方那么奢华 |
| [16:58] | but it’s a roof over your head and you’re welcome to it | 但好歹是个遮风挡雨的地儿 只要你们需要 |
| [17:00] | for as long as you need. | 随时欢迎 |
| [17:01] | Oh, goody. Now I get to split | 不是吧 现在我得把我的社保 |
| [17:04] | my social security checks seven ways. | 分成七份了 |
| [17:09] | I don’t know what I’m happier about: | 我不知道到底哪样让我更开心 |
| [17:11] | that my parents are staying with us or that | 是我爸妈跟我一起住了 |
| [17:12] | we finally have an excuse to order the gut-buster pizza. | 还是我们终于有借口订全家号披萨了 |
| [17:15] | You’re just really enjoying playing the hero, aren’t you? | 你很享受当英雄是吧 |
| [17:17] | Yeah, it’s nice. | 必须的 感觉倍儿棒 |
| [17:19] | At first, I was afraid they didn’t really want | 开始我还担心他们不想待在这儿 |
| [17:20] | to be here, but I think they’re starting | 但我觉得他们 |
| [17:22] | to feel a little more comfortable. | 渐渐开始怡然自得了 |
| [17:25] | Well, they certainly look comfortable. | 他们看起来是挺怡然啊 |
| [17:28] | What the hell is all this? | 这是啥情况 |
| [17:29] | Oh, it’s our new bed. | 这是我们的新床 |
| [17:31] | You didn’t expect us to sleep on | 你不会想让我们 |
| [17:32] | that old couch, did you? | 睡在那张旧沙发上吧 |
| [17:34] | That thing had 70 years of farts in it. | 那玩意儿可有70年没洗过了 |
| [17:37] | What the hell are those sunglasses you’re wearing? | 你们戴的这墨镜又是闹的哪出啊 |
| [17:39] | We got ourselves a new 3-D television. | 我们给自己买了新的3D电视 |
| [17:42] | We’re watching the History Channel. | 我们在看历史频道 |
| [17:43] | It’s like the Nazis are marching right in here. | 感觉纳粹党就在那里行军一样 |
| [17:46] | How’d you pay for all this stuff? | 你们哪来的钱啊 |
| [17:48] | Turns out there was one credit card company | 我们发现还有一张信用卡 |
| [17:50] | we weren’t maxed out on. | 没被刷爆 |
| [17:52] | Sushi? | 来点寿司吗 |
| [17:55] | Mom, Dad, | 妈 爸 |
| [17:56] | we got to talk. | 咱得谈谈 |
| [17:58] | Dad explained to Grandma and Grandpa that now | 老爸向爷爷和奶奶解释了 |
| [18:00] | that they were poor, they needed to start acting like it. | 他们是穷人 他们得学着过穷人的日子 |
| [18:03] | And lucky for them, we were the perfect people to teach them. | 幸运的是 我们可以教他们 |
| [18:06] | First they needed jobs. | 首先 他们需要工作 |
| [18:07] | And since Grandpa made all his money in real estate, | 爷爷以前是靠房地产发家的 |
| [18:09] | we found him something selling houses. | 我们给他找了个售楼的工作 |
| [18:11] | See ya at 5:00. | 五点见 |
| [18:14] | Instead of his normal three-piece suit, | 与他的传统三件套不同 |
| [18:16] | he wore a chicken suit. | 他需要穿小鸡服 |
| [18:17] | But when you’re poor, you can’t be too picky. | 但作为穷人 你可没资格挑三拣四 |
| [18:20] | Meanwhile, Mom taught Grandma how to live within their means. | 同时 妈妈教了奶奶如何在能力范围内生活 |
| [18:23] | So you just add a little vinegar and some lemon juice. | 就加点醋和柠檬汁 |
| [18:26] | Don’t bother. | 不用了吧 |
| [18:27] | I closed up shop down there a long time ago. | 我老早就不开店了 |
| [18:31] | Down there? I was just showing you how | 开店 我只是在教你 |
| [18:33] | to make cheap salad dressing. What were you talking about? | 做便宜的色拉酱 你说什么乱七八糟的 |
| [18:38] | Never mind. | 没什么 |
| [18:40] | Mom also showed Grandma how to shop using coupons | 老妈还教了奶奶如何巧用优惠券购物 |
| [18:42] | and how to always keep an eye out for damaged goods. | 以及如何时刻关注受损商品 |
| [18:45] | And when there aren’t any damaged goods, | 以及当周围没有受损商品时 |
| [18:47] | she showed her how to damage them. | 要如何制造受损商品 |
| [18:52] | We also showed them you could relax after a hard day’s work | 我们还教他们 在一天的辛苦工作后 |
| [18:55] | without going to one of those fancy chairs at the mall | 如何足不出户 就能享受免费的 |
| [18:58] | that cost a dollar. | 按摩椅服务 |
| [19:01] | And that you don’t need a fancy 3-D TV | 还有 用不着什么3D电视 |
| [19:04] | to entertain yourself. | 来悠闲娱乐 |
| [19:05] | All you need is a couch, a balloon and a stupid game. | 只需一张沙发 一个气球 一场游戏即可 |
| [19:08] | Next. | 下一个 |
| [19:09] | By the end of the week, | 到了周末 |
| [19:10] | they totally got the hang of it. | 他们已经彻底适应了 |
| [19:12] | They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. | 他们说 你没法教会老狗耍新活 |
| [19:14] | But apparently you can teach a grandpa | 但你绝对可以教会一个爷爷 |
| [19:15] | in a chicken suit to flip a sign. | 穿着小鸡服 举着牌子玩杂耍 |
| [19:18] | To the progress of my parents and learning | 敬我爸妈的进步 |
| [19:20] | that you don’t have to be rich to be happy. | 以及穷有穷开心的道理 |
| [19:23] | And year-old freezer-burned flank steak | 还有冰箱里放了一年多的牛腩排 |
| [19:24] | is just as good as top sirloin. | 跟顶级牛里脊一样棒 |
| [19:26] | Better, you can chew so much longer. | 甚至更好 更有嚼劲 |
| [19:29] | Enough. I can’t take this anymore. | 够了 我受不了了 |
| [19:32] | – What, Dad? – Hold on. | -咋了 爸爸 -打住 |
| [19:36] | I’ve been gnawing on that same bite for 15 minutes. | 我已经嚼了15分钟了 |
| [19:38] | I’m sorry, I just can’t do this anymore. | 对不起 我撑不下去了 |
| [19:40] | Oh, thank God. I can’t, either. | 谢天谢地 我也不行了 |
| [19:42] | My fingers are covered in coupon paper cuts | 我的手指到处都是优惠券割的伤口 |
| [19:45] | and, well, this salad dressing tastes like douche. | 还有 这色拉酱味道跟泔水似的 |
| [19:48] | We know you’re trying to help us, | 我们知道你们想帮我们 |
| [19:50] | and we know that you enjoy this life, | 我们也知道这样的生活你们乐在其中 |
| [19:52] | but it’s a God-awful way to live. | 但这么活着太悲催了 |
| [19:54] | I mean, no offense. You keep a lovely home. | 没别的意思 你们的确营造了一个温馨的家 |
| [19:58] | Your brother Bruce gets back from his cruise tomorrow. | 你哥哥布鲁斯明天就回来了 |
| [20:00] | And as humiliating as it might be to tell him that we need his help, | 虽然告诉他我们需要帮助会很丢脸 |
| [20:03] | it’s nowhere near as bad as living on a budget. | 但也比这么节衣缩食的活着要好 |
| [20:08] | Take me with you. | 带我一起走 |
| [20:11] | Bruce isn’t coming in. | 布鲁斯不进来了 |
| [20:12] | Cut himself shaving and is afraid | 他在修面 |
| [20:13] | if he touches something, | 怕在这摸到什么 |
| [20:14] | he’ll catch the flesh-eating bacteria. | 食肉性的细菌 |
| [20:17] | Oh, my God, I never thought of that. | 天啊 这点我居然没想到 |
| [20:19] | Let’s go. Love you, Burt. | 快走 爱你 伯特 |
| [20:24] | You know, son, I always thought of you as a slacker | 儿子 我一直觉得你是个懒鬼 |
| [20:28] | who took the easy way out. | 只想得过且过的活着 |
| [20:30] | But after living with you for one week, | 但跟你们住了这一周 |
| [20:32] | I’ve realized that you’re not a slacker. | 我觉得你不是个懒鬼 |
| [20:35] | I mean, you take care of that old lady and your son | 你自食其力赚钱 |
| [20:37] | and your illegitimate granddaughter | 照顾着那老女士和你儿子 |
| [20:40] | by working your butt off for very little money. | 还有你那私生孙女 |
| [20:43] | That’s to be commended. | 这很值得赞赏 |
| [20:47] | Thanks, Dad. | 谢谢 爸爸 |
| [20:49] | I, however, would rather kill myself than live like that. | 而我 却宁可自杀也不愿那样活着 |
| [20:53] | You’re a better man than I. | 你比我强 |
| [21:00] | Well, we’ve got about five hours | 在他们来搬走电视前 |
| [21:02] | till they repossess this TV. | 咱们还有五个小时 |
| [21:05] | Let’s see what a 72-inch 3-D Wheel of Fortune looks like. | 快来看看72吋的3D版幸运轮是啥样的吧 |
| [21:21] | Is Barbara June here? | 请问芭芭拉·琼在吗 |
| [21:23] | I just can’t get her out of my mind. | 当日一见 始终无法忘怀 |
| [21:26] | Maw Maw, your boyfriend’s here! | 奶奶 你男友来了 |