| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Hello? | 喂喂 |
| [00:03] | Anyone home? | 有人在家吗 |
| [00:05] | Your mat says “Welcome”… | 门口的垫子上写着”欢迎光临”啊 |
| [00:07] | unless it’s being sarcastic. | 难道是写的反语 |
| [00:09] | If that’s the case, it should have quotes around it. | 那你们得给这几个字加上引号啊 |
| [00:13] | Is this really necessary? | 有必要这样吗 |
| [00:14] | Trust me, ever since his wife left him, | 相信我 自从他老婆离家出走 |
| [00:16] | he comes over and he won’t leave. | 他只要来了就会赖着死活不走 |
| [00:18] | Hello? Hello? Hello? | 没人吗 有的吧 开开门 |
| [00:22] | We never should have let this guy in the first time. | 当初就不该让他进来第一次 |
| [00:25] | It’s like when we fed that three-legged dog | 就像那次同情了那只 |
| [00:27] | with the filmy eye, | 眼神楚楚可怜的三脚狗 |
| [00:27] | and it kept coming around. | 结果后来赶都赶不走 |
| [00:29] | Doesn’t anybody hear the…? | 家里难道没人听到… |
| [00:31] | Oh, man. | 难怪 |
| [00:35] | You guys are jerks. | 你们这群混蛋 |
| [00:39] | I got some mail for Donna today. | 我今天收到了写给唐娜的信 |
| [00:41] | It was addressed to “Occupants,” But she would have loved | 写的是”房主收” 但她肯定会喜欢 |
| [00:44] | to get half-price carpet cleaning. | 半价的地毯清理服务的 |
| [00:47] | It’s okay. | 没事的 |
| [00:49] | There, there. | 不哭 不哭 |
| [00:54] | Is he gone? | 他走了吗 |
| [01:19] | What time did Andrew finally leave? | 安德鲁最后啥时候走的啊 |
| [01:22] | I don’t know. I fell asleep. | 不知 我睡着了 |
| [01:24] | I hope I didn’t hurt his feelings. | 希望没伤到他的心 |
| [01:26] | Do you want to be rich? | 想不想一夜暴富 |
| [01:28] | Yes. | 想 |
| [01:28] | Do you want to provide a secure future for your children? | 想不想给你的后代一个灿烂的未来 |
| [01:31] | Yes. | 想 |
| [01:31] | Would you like to tell your boss to take this job and shove it? | 想不想炒你老板鱿鱼 |
| [01:34] | Oh, God, yes. | 想疯了 |
| [01:35] | Then all you need is the next great American invention. | 那就动手创造发明吧 |
| [01:39] | Damn it, there’s always a catch! | 就知道天上不会掉馅饼 |
| [01:39] | Bring your ideas down | 把你的成果 |
| [01:40] | to the National Invention Convention Extravaganza | 带来全国发明大赛吧 |
| [01:43] | at the Natesville High School gym this Saturday, | 本周六 那什维尔高中体育馆 |
| [01:46] | where a celebrity judge could make you | 将有一位名人评审等待着 |
| [01:48] | America’s next millionaire. | 助您成为美国下一个亿万富翁 |
| [01:50] | We could never win that. | 我们没戏的 |
| [01:51] | Why not? | 谁说的 |
| [01:53] | Regular people come up with great inventions every day. | 草根才是社会进步的阶梯 |
| [01:55] | What if we combine the oven | 我觉得可以把 |
| [01:58] | with the toaster into one thing? | 烤箱和面包机合二为一 |
| [02:01] | An oven-toaster. | 就叫面包烤箱 |
| [02:03] | Inventing’s for smart people. | 发明创造是聪明人玩的东西 |
| [02:04] | Like the guy who put his chocolate | 比如把自己的巧克力 |
| [02:06] | in the other guy’s peanut butter. | 放进别人的花生酱里那家伙 |
| [02:07] | That’s not true. | 才不是 |
| [02:08] | Bill Gates couldn’t even finish college, | 比尔·盖茨连大学都没念完 |
| [02:10] | and he invented the computer. | 可他发明了电脑 |
| [02:12] | Do you really think we could do this? | 你真觉得我们能行 |
| [02:13] | We gotta at least try. Guys, | 至少得试试 伙计们 |
| [02:15] | this could be our one chance at having a better life. | 这或许是咱发家致富的契机 |
| [02:17] | Maybe you’re right. I think we could invent something. | 也许你是对的 我们应该能发明点什么 |
| [02:21] | I’m in. | 算我一个 |
| [02:22] | Great. Everybody put on your thinking caps today | 很好 今天起大家集中精力 |
| [02:24] | and come home with at least one good invention. | 每天至少带回一个小发明 |
| [02:26] | What about putting hot food into pockets? | 把热菜放口袋里如何 |
| [02:30] | Pocket-Hots. | 就叫热袋 |
| [02:37] | Well, cleanup on aisle three is done. | 三号走道清洁完毕 |
| [02:39] | Happy to say mother | 很高兴看到妈妈 |
| [02:40] | and new child are doing just fine. | 和新生儿状况良好 |
| [02:42] | What ya drawing? | 你在画什么呢 |
| [02:43] | Just my idea for a new invention. | 我想出个小发明 |
| [02:45] | It’s a baby mop. | 这是个宝宝拖 |
| [02:46] | While the baby crawls, it also cleans. My mom wants us | 宝宝边爬边拖地 我妈要我们 |
| [02:49] | to enter the National Invention Convention Extravaganza | 参加这周六的 |
| [02:51] | this Saturday. | 全国发明大赛 |
| [02:52] | I’ve always considered myself pretty inventive. | 我一直觉得自己在这方面特有天赋 |
| [02:54] | I invented a language | 我发明过一种语言 |
| [02:55] | that only me and my identical twin knew. | 只有我和我双胞胎兄弟懂 |
| [02:58] | But I haven’t spoken to that ugly turd in decades, | 可我几百年没跟那丑八怪说过话了 |
| [03:00] | so maybe I should invent something new. | 也许我该发明点别的 |
| [03:02] | That’ll really fisnad his gleeblok. | 让他无地自容 |
| [03:06] | Have you thought about making those in different colors? | 你可以考虑把它做成五颜六色的 |
| [03:08] | I’m gonna do that with my invention. | 这点可以加进我的设计里 |
| [03:09] | Different colors. I call that. | 五颜六色的 我征用了 |
| [03:11] | What’s your invention? | 你发明了啥 |
| [03:13] | I don’t know, | 还没定 |
| [03:14] | but it’s gonna be different colors. | 但肯定是五颜六色的 |
| [03:17] | Different colors, that’s a great idea. | 这确实是个好主意 |
| [03:19] | I’m gonna, I’m gonna do it. Thanks. | 我会用进去 谢谢 |
| [03:21] | – Really? – Uh-huh. | -真的吗 -当然 |
| [03:22] | Wow. That’s really cool. | 哈哈 太棒了 |
| [03:23] | – What? – Oh, that you’re gonna take my idea. | -怎么了 -你用上了我的点子 |
| [03:26] | Wyatt’s always working on projects for business school, | 怀特他们商学院经常要做项目 |
| [03:28] | and every time I try to make a suggestion, | 每次我给他出的主意 |
| [03:30] | he just shoots it down like he’s threatened by it or something. | 都会被否决 就好像我威胁到他了似的 |
| [03:33] | Threatened? That’s crazy. That’s a weird thing to be. | 威胁 真是不可理喻 |
| [03:36] | Not me. In fact, you want to partner up on this? | 我可不会那样 你想不想加入我 |
| [03:40] | I mean, we’ll have to spend a lot of time | 我们可以一起努力 |
| [03:41] | together working on it… | 做成这个 |
| [03:42] | Sure. Yeah, that sounds fun. | 好啊 听着很有趣 |
| [03:48] | You got your pen in my cottage cheese! | 你把笔插进我的白干酪里了 |
| [03:50] | You got your cottage cheese on my pen. | 是你的白干酪粘着我的笔 |
| [04:02] | Nope. Keep thinking. | 难吃死了 继续想 |
| [04:10] | I know I shouldn’t keep shaving with Donna’s leg razor, | 我知道不该再用唐娜刮腿毛的刀剃胡子 |
| [04:13] | but I miss her, and it makes me feel close to her. | 但我好想她 那样能让我觉得她就在身边 |
| [04:18] | Burt, did you fall asleep on me again? | 伯特 你是不是又听睡着了 |
| [04:22] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [04:23] | There’s some inventors contest this weekend, | 这周有个发明比赛 |
| [04:25] | and Virginia wants us to “Put on our thinking caps” | 维吉妮亚要我们集中精力 |
| [04:27] | and think of an invention. | 发明创造 |
| [04:28] | Come up with anything yet? | 想到什么了吗 |
| [04:30] | Uh, solar-powered electric jump rope, | 太阳能跳绳 |
| [04:32] | a pencil that makes your grammar more correcter, | 语法纠错笔 |
| [04:35] | man yogurt. | 男士酸奶 |
| [04:37] | Man yogurt? | 男士酸奶 |
| [04:38] | You know, yogurt for men. | 就是专为男人做的酸奶 |
| [04:39] | All they have now are girly flavors like | 目前市面上只有少女才喜欢的 |
| [04:41] | blueberry or strawberry. | 蓝莓味啊 草莓味的 |
| [04:43] | Why not have man flavors like pork chops, stew? | 凭啥没有男士口味的 清炖排骨味之类的 |
| [04:47] | Interesting. | 好主意 |
| [04:49] | You could call it “Bro-gurt.” | 你可以给它起名叫哥酸乳 |
| [04:52] | Bro-gurt! | 哥酸乳 |
| [04:56] | I got it! I got it! | 我有好主意了 |
| [04:58] | I got our million- dollar idea. | 我想出个千金难买的好主意 |
| [05:00] | Man-flavored yogurt. | 充满男人味的酸奶 |
| [05:02] | Why in the world would anyone want yogurt | 这世上咋会有人想喝 |
| [05:04] | that tastes like a man? | 男人味的酸奶啊 |
| [05:05] | No, it’s man flavors, like hamburger | 不 是专为男性打造的酸奶 |
| [05:08] | cheeseburger, but not turkey burger ’cause that’d be girly. | 就像有奶酪堡 但没有娘炮的火鸡堡 |
| [05:12] | You see how this works? | 懂我意思了吗 |
| [05:13] | And here’s the best part. | 更赞的是 |
| [05:14] | We call it “Bro-gurt.” | 我们决定叫它哥酸乳 |
| [05:18] | Bro-gurt. | 哥酸乳 |
| [05:20] | I like it. | 好名字 |
| [05:21] | A catchy name is half the battle. | 好的名字是成功的一半 |
| [05:23] | That’s right up there with Manwich. | “男明治”就是个好例子 |
| [05:25] | See, it’s that type of thinking that’s gonna get us | 瞧见没 这样的思路 |
| [05:27] | out of the service business | 会让我们不用再服务于人的 |
| [05:29] | And into the business of being served! | 而且还要转型为被人服务 |
| [05:31] | God, you are on a roll! | 擦 你太有才了 |
| [05:34] | On a roll like a Manwich! | 像”男明治”一样有才 |
| [05:37] | I’ve got to tell that Manwich line | 下次安德鲁来的时候 |
| [05:39] | to Andrew when he comes over. | 我要把男明治这句告诉他 |
| [05:40] | Andrew? No, that twit cannot come over here. | 安德鲁 不行 那废柴不能再来了 |
| [05:43] | We got work to do. | 咱有正事要做 |
| [05:44] | He’s my partner. He came up with the name Bro-gurt. | 他是我的搭档 哥酸乳就是他想出来的 |
| [05:46] | Burt, this was for our family to get ahead. | 伯特 这是咱家走向光明的大事 |
| [05:51] | Now Andrew is gonna be an albacore around our necks | 这下安德鲁会像不散的冤魂 |
| [05:54] | for the rest of our lives! | 缠住我们一辈子了 |
| [05:56] | I think I’ve got a good one. | 我想出个好点子 |
| [05:59] | “The Baby Mop.” | 宝宝拖 |
| [06:00] | Put it on a baby… | 给宝宝穿上 |
| [06:01] | And the baby crawls your mess away. I like it. | 宝宝就能把地板拖干净了 我喜欢 |
| [06:04] | It’s smart, it’s simple, | 时尚又简单 |
| [06:06] | and most importantly, no outside partner. | 最重要的是 没有其他搭档帮忙 |
| [06:09] | I have a partner. Sabrina. | 我有搭档 塞布丽娜 |
| [06:10] | No! The plan was to go out | 不了个是吧 咱的计划是 |
| [06:12] | and come back with an idea! | 下班带一个创意回来 |
| [06:14] | Not come back with a person | 不是带一个 |
| [06:15] | that we have to share our bajillion dollars with. Dang! | 要分享我们百万奖金的人回来 蠢蛋 |
| [06:19] | Am I the only smart person in this house? | 这家里只有我长脑子了么 |
| [06:21] | What about a TV channel just for news? | 一个专门播新闻的频道怎么样 |
| [06:24] | Wait. They’ll have to fill up | 不行 那就得 |
| [06:27] | too many hours and resort to sensationalizing non-issues | 找一大堆纯属炒作的事件来填补时长 |
| [06:30] | and stirring up partisan bickering. | 而且还会挑起党派之争 |
| [06:32] | Scratch that idea. It sucks. | 当我没说吧 烂透了 |
| [06:40] | Hello. | 哈罗 |
| [06:41] | Well, hey, good news. | 嗨 有好消息 |
| [06:42] | Since Hope doesn’t crawl anymore, | 由于喜旺已经过了到处乱爬的时期了 |
| [06:44] | Shelley’s gonna loan us some babies for the presentation. | 雪莉会借咱几个宝宝做产品展示 |
| [06:46] | That’s great, but I have good news, too. | 太好了 不过我也有个好消息 |
| [06:49] | I finally figured out what’s missing from the Baby Mop. | 我终于想起来宝宝拖还缺少什么了 |
| [06:52] | The handle to steer it. | 是把手啊 |
| [06:54] | Yeah, but the baby’s just | 是没错 但宝宝只需 |
| [06:56] | supposed to clean while it crawls around. | 在乱爬的时候顺便拖地而已啊 |
| [06:58] | That’s the whole point. | 这才是精髓啊 |
| [06:58] | But babies are unpredictable, | 但宝宝的行动可无法预料 |
| [07:00] | and they might not crawl | 没准儿你想让他们爬的时候 |
| [07:01] | where you want them to, | 他们偏偏不爬 |
| [07:03] | and… Man, you hate it! | 而… 好吧 你讨厌这点子 |
| [07:05] | Oh, no, no, no, no. I’m just letting it soak in. | 没有没有 我只是在试着领会精髓 |
| [07:08] | Uh, a stick. Yeah, because… | 一个把手 当然要了 因为… |
| [07:12] | Yeah, no, a stick! | 拜托 把手啊 |
| [07:14] | It’s a great idea, partner. | 这主意太赞了 搭档 |
| [07:17] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [07:18] | I’m gonna go see if we have more colors. | 我去看看咱还有没有别的颜色能用 |
| [07:24] | Dude, she just jacked up your invention | 哥们 她刚用一个把手 |
| [07:26] | with that handle. | 毁了你的发明 |
| [07:28] | Now it’s just a mop that cries. | 现在那就只是个会哭的拖把了 |
| [07:29] | Yeah, but this invention thing’s a long shot anyway. | 话是没错 不过发明这种事本来就有风险 |
| [07:32] | I’m not gonna argue with her. | 我不会跟她争的 |
| [07:34] | That’s what Wyatt does, and I’m gonna do the opposite. | 怀特就老跟她争 我要跟他相反 |
| [07:36] | The opposite of the guy | 那货还跟她上床呢 |
| [07:37] | she has sex with. Good strategy. | 你要跟他相反 真有策略 |
| [07:39] | Anyway, doesn’t matter because your baby mop has no chance | 反正也不重要了 你的宝宝拖 |
| [07:42] | of winning against my “Shoemerang.” | 是不可能战胜我的”回力鞋”的 |
| [07:45] | A shoe that will return to you no matter | 就是无论你把它扔到哪 |
| [07:48] | where you throw it. | 都会飞回到你手里的鞋 |
| [07:58] | I’m still working on ideas. | 我还在尝试阶段 |
| [08:10] | Mmm. That has to be the best | 嗷呜 这简直是史上最美味的 |
| [08:12] | scotch-and-cigar-flavored yogurt ever made! | 威士忌雪茄味的酸奶 |
| [08:14] | I know, right? | 是吧是吧 我就知道 |
| [08:16] | Bro-gurt is just the beginning. | 哥酸乳只是个起步 |
| [08:17] | If this goes well, we can invent | 如果进展顺利 |
| [08:18] | all sorts of products just for men. | 我们还可以发明各种男士专用的产品 |
| [08:20] | Yeah. Why should women get to invent everything? | 就是 凭啥啥都是女士专用的啊 |
| [08:22] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [08:23] | We can make pork-sicles. | 我们可以做猪肉棒冰 |
| [08:24] | We can make soap that smells like bacon. | 培根味的肥皂 |
| [08:26] | Tampons for our butts! | 男士菊花棉 |
| [08:28] | What? | 啥 |
| [08:28] | I don’t know. I’m just pitching. | 我也不知道 只是想想 |
| [08:30] | You losers can quit chopping meat. | 你俩废柴不用再费劲了 |
| [08:31] | I’ve got the winning invention. | 我有了必胜发明了 |
| [08:34] | What does the average American family | 美国家庭每年平均要花130美元 |
| [08:36] | spend $130 a year on? | 买什么来着 |
| [08:39] | Deodorant. | 除臭剂 |
| [08:41] | But that’ll all stop once they buy… | 但以后不用了 只要他们买了… |
| [08:44] | Pit-stops! | 除臭棉 |
| [08:45] | The world’s first reusable underarm protection. | 史上首款可循环利用的腋下护垫 |
| [08:49] | Ooh, that’s good. | 太有才了 |
| [08:54] | If this goes well, you’re gonna grow up wearing | 要是一切顺利 你就能穿着 |
| [08:56] | name-brand clothes and get braces. | 名牌服饰戴着牙箍长大喽 |
| [08:59] | How ya doing, Natesville inventors? | 那什维尔的发明家们 进来可好 |
| [09:02] | Sorry I couldn’t be there | 抱歉我不能 |
| [09:03] | with you in person, | 亲自前来参加 |
| [09:04] | but I got a lot of Hollywood projects, | 主要我有很多好莱坞的大项目 |
| [09:06] | and these jackets don’t cut the sleeves off themselves. | 而且这些夹克可不会自断双臂 |
| [09:09] | Still got it. | 宝刀未老啊 |
| [09:10] | But I’m still able to be there with you | 但由于视频技术的发展 |
| [09:12] | because of the technology of the video chat, | 我仍能通过影像加入你们 |
| [09:14] | which somebody invented. | 视频技术也是某人发明的哦 |
| [09:22] | You’ve come in here today as regular, average citizens, | 你们今天是作为普通平民来到这里的 |
| [09:25] | but one of you may leave here as wealthy as me. | 但其中一人离开的时候也许会跟我一样富有 |
| [09:28] | So good luck to you. | 所以 祝你们好运 |
| [09:29] | Registration starts in five minutes. | 五分钟内就会开始注册 |
| [09:31] | Please follow the yellow carpet to the sign-up tables outside. | 请跟着黄地毯的指示去前台登记 |
| [09:35] | See ya then. | 回见 |
| [09:38] | Andrew Dice Clay, oh, my God! | 安德鲁·戴斯·克莱 我勒个去 |
| [09:41] | I love him! | 我超爱他的 |
| [09:42] | His cassette’s been stuck in my car radio, like, ten years. | 他的磁带都在我车里都放了十多年了 |
| [09:58] | Okay, the basic entry fee is $20. | 好了 基本报名费是20美元 |
| [10:01] | For a little bit extra, we offer patent-pending date-stamping. | 再加一点的话 我们就提供专利日期盖章服务 |
| [10:05] | This stops other people from stealing your idea. | 以防别人在专利申请成功前偷走你们的点子 |
| [10:07] | It’s too bad this wasn’t around | 真遗憾比尔·约翰逊发明灯泡的时候 |
| [10:08] | when Bill Johnson invented the lightbulb. | 没赶上这玩意儿 |
| [10:11] | I thought Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb. | 我还以为灯泡是托马斯·爱迪生发明的 |
| [10:13] | And that’s why you need the date stamp. | 这就是日期邮戳的重要性啊 |
| [10:15] | – I’ll take it. – You think we should get that? | -我要了 -你觉得咱们该要不 |
| [10:17] | Burt, I didn’t know we had to pitch this to a celebrity. | 伯特 我都不知道咱要让名人鉴定这东西 |
| [10:20] | I don’t think I can do this. | 我觉得我做不到 |
| [10:22] | Okay, fine. I’ll do all the talking. | 好吧 演说什么的都交给我了 |
| [10:24] | You got to settle down. | 你得镇定点 |
| [10:26] | Go over to the glow-in-the-dark ice-cream guy. | 去卖冰激淋那人那儿吧 |
| [10:27] | Maybe he’s got a napkin | 他应该有纸巾 |
| [10:28] | you can dry your eyes with. | 你可以用来擦擦眼泪 |
| [10:31] | Okay, now I hate to be pushy, | 好吧 我不想这么迫不及待 |
| [10:32] | but I cannot recommend any higher | 但我情不自禁要推荐一下 |
| [10:34] | the invention checklist. | 发明清单 |
| [10:36] | I mean, the first thing | 你看 这单子上的第一条 |
| [10:37] | on the list is “Buy the invention checklist.” | 就是”买一份发明清单” |
| [10:39] | I’ll take it. | 我要了 |
| [10:41] | Hey, good idea sending him over there. | 打发他过去真是太明智了 |
| [10:42] | Now let’s win this thing before he gets back. | 现在趁他没回来 咱赶紧赢下大奖 |
| [10:44] | What has happened to you? You sound so heartless. | 你咋回事啊 这么自私无情 |
| [10:47] | I am heartless where a billion dollars is concerned. | 事关十亿美金 我就得自私无情 |
| [10:50] | Burt, people only give to charity after they have money. | 伯特 做慈善的前提是先得有钱啊 |
| [10:53] | You think Oprah was building orphanages in Africa | 你以为奥普拉穷得响叮当时会去非洲 |
| [10:55] | when she was poor? She wasn’t. | 开孤儿院么 当然不会 |
| [10:57] | She was smoking crack in Baltimore. | 她那时只能在巴尔的摩吞云吐雾 |
| [10:59] | Why do you hate Oprah so much? | 你为啥这么讨厌奥普拉啊 |
| [11:00] | Why do you always defend her? | 你为啥老护着她啊 |
| [11:03] | Okay, your total comes to $87. | 好了 一共87块 |
| [11:08] | We are going to be so rich. | 咱发定了 |
| [11:13] | Knock, knock. | 叮咚 叮咚 |
| [11:15] | I like where this is going. Who’s there? | 有点意思 谁在敲门啊 |
| [11:17] | Orange. | 橙色 |
| [11:19] | Orange who? | 叫橙什么 |
| [11:20] | Orange you glad someone invented a new color of traffic cone? | 你喜欢有人发明了路障锥的新颜色吗 |
| [11:25] | The formal traffic cone for black-tie events. | 正装场合专用的正装路障锥 |
| [11:28] | Hey, hammerhead, black-tie events are at night. | 喂 白痴 正装场合都是在晚上好吧 |
| [11:31] | Drivers can’t see those cones. | 黑漆漆的让司机看毛啊 |
| [11:34] | What’s wrong with you? | 有病吧你 |
| [11:40] | Shoemerang! | 无敌回力鞋 |
| [11:44] | Next. | 下一个 |
| [11:45] | If there’s two things I love in this world, | 这世上我最喜欢两样东西 |
| [11:47] | it’s produce and skin care. | 农产品和皮肤保养 |
| [11:48] | And this is where my two loves meet. | 我的发明就是我最爱的二合一 |
| [11:50] | An avocado face mask which you keep on for 15 minutes, | 鳄梨面膜 只要用上15分钟 |
| [11:53] | and then… | 然后 |
| [11:58] | Mmm. Eat the years off your face | 吃掉脸上的成年死皮 |
| [12:00] | with Face-amole. | 就用”食用面膜” |
| [12:02] | All right, face cream you could eat. | 好吧 可以吃的面膜 |
| [12:04] | I’ve eaten worse things than that. Oh! | 我还吃过更恶心的 |
| [12:07] | Let’s talk numbers. | 咱们来算算帐吧 |
| [12:09] | How much dough does each jar cost to make? | 每罐得花多少钱 |
| [12:11] | Oh, avocados are 30 cents apiece wholesale. | 鳄梨批发价每个3毛 |
| [12:13] | Two avocadoes per jar, 40 cents for the jar. | 每罐要两个鳄梨 罐子4毛 |
| [12:15] | So each unit costs one dollar. | 所以每罐成本1块钱 |
| [12:18] | Man, I didn’t know he was going to ask us how much stuff costs. | 天 我不知道他还要我们算成本 |
| [12:20] | I can’t do math in my head. | 我脑子里做不了算术 |
| [12:23] | Here’s some paper. | 拿纸算 |
| [12:24] | I can’t do math on paper. | 纸上我也不会算 |
| [12:25] | I’m going to run home and get our receipts and a calculator. | 我得回家拿我们的收据和计算器 |
| [12:28] | Hey, grab me some perfume. | 给我带点香水来 |
| [12:29] | These Pit-stops are good at absorbing sweat, | 这止除臭棉汗功能不错 |
| [12:31] | but they’re doing nothing for the stink. | 可现在只剩臭味儿了 |
| [12:35] | Hey, Jimmy, here’s your babies. | 吉米 这是你要的孩子们 |
| [12:38] | I hope we go early. | 希望能早点结束 |
| [12:39] | I’m technically not supposed | 照理说 我不该 |
| [12:41] | to take them away from the day care center. | 把他们带出日托所的 |
| [12:43] | Hey, where’s the the handle? | 咦 拖把柄呢 |
| [12:45] | Oh, man. I bet the janitor stole it. | 糟糕 肯定被保安偷了 |
| [12:48] | He was probably afraid | 他可能担心 |
| [12:49] | the babies were going to take his job. | 宝宝们抢了他的工作 |
| [12:50] | Oh, but not with the stick. | 有了拖把柄就不会啦 |
| [12:52] | No, he’d still have to push the stick. | 他还是得用拖把柄推呢 |
| [12:54] | I’ll go talk to him. | 我去跟他谈谈 |
| [12:56] | Yeah, and there are 12 other janitors that work here, | 好吧 那里有12个保安呢 |
| [12:57] | so if the first one doesn’t know | 要是头一个不知道你在说什么 |
| [12:58] | what you’re talking about, just keep looking. | 你就再找下一个 反正慢慢找吧 |
| [13:01] | If you’ve got some milk that you dropped | 不小心打翻了牛奶怎么办 |
| [13:03] | Clean-up’s abreeze with the Baby Mop. | 宝宝拖布能帮忙 |
| [13:05] | If there are two things in life you can always count on, | 要说生活中最让人头疼的两件事 |
| [13:08] | it’s that things will spill… | 一是总会打翻东西 |
| [13:12] | and babies will crawl. | 二是宝宝总是到处爬 |
| [13:16] | Wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等等等等 |
| [13:17] | Not only is there no reason to cry over spilled milk, | 不仅不用因为打翻牛奶而难过 |
| [13:20] | there’s no reason to cry over spilled wine. | 打翻了葡萄酒也没问题 |
| [13:23] | If your husband’s a drunk and he just won’t stop | 如果老公是个酒鬼 |
| [13:25] | You’re the kind of mom that needs a Baby Mop | 你就是需要宝宝拖布的妈妈 |
| [13:27] | Baby Mop turns a baby into a cleaning machine | 宝宝拖布把宝宝变成清洁工具 |
| [13:31] | If she’s got the time to crawl | 只要她会到处爬 |
| [13:32] | Then she’s got the time to clean. | 她就会清理 |
| [13:35] | Hey, I went to the store, and I got a new mop handle. | 我跑回店里 又新拿了一个拖把柄 |
| [13:38] | We’ve already started the presentation. | 我们已经开始做产品展示了 |
| [13:39] | That’s okay. Just start over. | 没关系 重新开始嘛 |
| [13:40] | Here you go. Just go ahead. | 给 开始吧 |
| [13:42] | Nope, no, enough with the stupid stick. | 别 别再给我这傻乎乎的棍子了 |
| [13:44] | – What? You told me that you liked it. – I lied. | -怎么了 你说你喜欢的 -我撒谎了 |
| [13:47] | – And now it’s just a mop that cries. – Oh, really? | -加上把手就只是会哭的拖布了 -是吗 |
| [13:49] | Well, why don’t we ask Andrew Dice Clay what he thinks. | 不如问问安德鲁·戴斯·克莱的意见吧 |
| [13:51] | Do you think the handle is stupid? | 你觉得拖把柄傻吗 |
| [13:52] | Of course it’s stupid, but don’t worry about it, sweetheart. | 当然傻了 不过别担心 宝贝儿 |
| [13:55] | You’re pretty. Nobody expects you to be smart. | 你很漂亮 没人指望你还能很聪明 |
| [13:58] | Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t want this stick | 听见了吧 对不起 我不想因为 |
| [14:00] | to cost me and Hope a shot at a billion dollars. | 这拖把柄让我和喜旺失去得到十亿奖金的机会 |
| [14:02] | So you patronize me? | 所以你只是在敷衍我 |
| [14:04] | What does that word mean? | 这词啥意思 |
| [14:05] | It means you’re acting like a jerk. | 意思是你是个混蛋 |
| [14:06] | I think you’re confusing being a jerk with being right. | 我看你是分不清混蛋和据理力争吧 |
| [14:10] | Well, if you’re not going to use the mop handle, | 行 你要是用不着拖把柄 |
| [14:11] | I got a pretty good idea where you can shove it. | 我去给你找个好用处 |
| [14:16] | Baby Mop. | 宝宝拖 |
| [14:18] | Receipts and calculator! | 收据 计算器 |
| [14:20] | Got it, got it, got it! | 拿到了 拿到了 |
| [14:22] | Got it. I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. | 拿到了 我拿到了 我拿到了 |
| [14:29] | Stupid, stupid… | 笨死 笨死 |
| [14:31] | Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! | 笨死 笨死 笨死了 |
| [14:36] | You’re right, the reception is great, | 你说得对 信号很好 |
| [14:37] | but my partner’s not answering. | 可我的搭档就是不接 |
| [14:41] | Do you have a really bad headache? | 你是不是头疼的厉害 |
| [14:45] | My underarms are bone dry. | 我的腋下清爽透顶 |
| [14:48] | That’s because I’m wearing… | 因为我用了 |
| [14:51] | Pit-stops! | 除臭棉 |
| [14:53] | Stopping your day from being the pits. | 让你告别汗津津的日子 |
| [14:55] | So if I have two rubber bands and two sponges in my house, | 要是我有两卷胶带和两个海绵 |
| [14:59] | and I do, why would I buy your product? | 我还真有 我干嘛还要买你的产品 |
| [15:05] | They come in children’s sizes, too. | 因为还有儿童版的哟 |
| [15:07] | Next. That brings us to… | 下一个是… |
| [15:10] | Bro-gurt. | 哥酸乳 |
| [15:11] | Would the inventors of Bro-gurt get up here? | 哥酸乳的发明者在吗 请上来 |
| [15:14] | Bro-gurt? | 哥酸乳 |
| [15:15] | All right, then, moving on. | 好吧 下一个 |
| [15:17] | For the fifth time, I’d like to call up the inventor | 第五位 有请 |
| [15:20] | of the total-noise-cancellation headphones. | 噪音全清空的发明者上台 |
| [15:25] | The total-noise-cancellation headphones. | 噪音全清空 |
| [15:36] | Excuse me, sir. I was wondering | 打扰下 先生 |
| [15:38] | if I could pitch to Mr. Clay now. | 我现在能不能跟克莱先生说两句 |
| [15:40] | I’m, I’m sorry. All the presentations are done. | 对不起 所有的推介都已经结束了 |
| [15:43] | The Dice Man is making his decision as we speak. | 这会儿骰子帝正在选择呢 |
| [15:46] | I am such a loser. | 我真没用 |
| [15:48] | I was too afraid to step up for my friend Burt, | 刚才我不敢为我的朋友伯特挺身而出 |
| [15:50] | and now the world will never get to taste his man yogurt. | 现在大家都尝不到适合男人口味的酸奶了 |
| [16:10] | There, there. | 好了 好了 |
| [16:15] | What happened? Am I too late? | 怎么回事 我迟到了吗 |
| [16:17] | I’m sorry, Burt. I wanted to go up | 对不起 伯特 他们叫我们的时候 |
| [16:19] | when they kept calling our name, but every time I stood up, | 我是想站出来的 可是每次我一站起来 |
| [16:21] | I started to poop a little and had to sit back down. | 我就想拉屎 然后只得坐下 |
| [16:24] | And we should have made those butt tampons. | 我们就该发明男士菊花棉的 |
| [16:26] | It’s not your fault. | 不怪你 |
| [16:27] | If I had half a brain, I would have known to come prepared. | 我要是有脑子就该做足了准备再来 |
| [16:30] | I’m just glad I get to take these off. | 能把这破玩意儿摘了姐表示很欣慰 |
| [16:32] | I’m starting to lose feeling in my arms. | 胳膊都快没知觉了 |
| [16:37] | Attention, everyone. Listen to me over here. | 注意了 大伙儿 都听我说 |
| [16:39] | In a way, you’re all winners, | 在某种程度上 你们都是赢家 |
| [16:41] | ’cause you got to spend the day with the Dice Man. | 因为你们有机会跟骰子帝共度了一天 |
| [16:44] | But that’s the only way, | 但这也是唯一的安慰了 |
| [16:45] | because I didn’t hear anything today | 今天我没听到任何 |
| [16:47] | that was worthy of my celebrity to endorse. | 值得我去推广的点子 |
| [16:50] | So, there is no winner. | 所以 今天没有胜者 |
| [16:52] | So I guess you could say, you rolled the craps | 可以说 你们跟骰子帝 |
| [16:55] | with the Dice Man. | 玩了把骰子 |
| [16:58] | Uh, excuse me, Mr. Dice Clay. | 等等 戴斯·克莱先生 |
| [17:01] | My partner never got a chance to pitch his idea. | 我的搭档还没机会展现他的点子呢 |
| [17:04] | You’re out of luck, pal. | 只能怪你不走运 伙计 |
| [17:05] | Hickory dickory dock, you ran out of time on the clock. Oh! | 滴滴嗒嗒钟声响 时间时间就到啦 |
| [17:10] | I know, but he was gone, | 我知道 可他刚才不在 |
| [17:12] | and I was just too intimidated to step in for him. | 而我太胆小 不敢替他做展示 |
| [17:16] | And anyway, he’s back now… | 总之 他现在回来了 |
| [17:17] | Hey, ding dong, | 叮咚 |
| [17:18] | what part of “No” Don’t you understand? | “不”这个字你哪没听明白 |
| [17:20] | You want me to say it in different languages? | 要我换种语言说吗 |
| [17:22] | Spanish… “No.” French… “No.” | 西语 不 法语 不 |
| [17:25] | Portuguese… “No.” | 葡萄牙语 不 |
| [17:27] | No! No! | 不 不 |
| [17:28] | I’m tired of giving up. | 我不想再放弃了 |
| [17:30] | I didn’t get into the college I wanted and so I gave up. | 我没念到心仪的大学 于是就放弃了 |
| [17:33] | My wife left me and I gave up. | 我老婆跑了 我也放弃了 |
| [17:36] | Well, I can’t do it this time, | 这次不行了 |
| [17:38] | because this time I didn’t just mess up my own life. | 因为这次我毁的不只是我一个人的生活 |
| [17:41] | This was my friend’s chance to get ahead. | 这次也是我朋友发家致富的机会 |
| [17:43] | My only friend. | 我唯一的朋友 |
| [17:44] | And it’s a great idea. | 而且他的点子很棒 |
| [17:46] | And we are not leaving until you hear about it | 你不听我们是不会离开的 |
| [17:48] | and hopefully validate our parking. | 并且希望你能肯定我们的创意 |
| [17:50] | Who do you think you’re talking to, huh? | 你以为你在跟谁说话啊 |
| [17:52] | I’m the Dice Man. | 我可是骰子帝 |
| [17:54] | I got my name on my shirt. | 我有专属的T恤 |
| [17:57] | There ain’t a dry cleaner in Brooklyn | 布鲁克林没有哪家干洗店 |
| [17:59] | don’t got my picture on their wall. | 墙上不挂我的海报的 |
| [18:02] | Get out of here. | 给我滚 |
| [18:03] | You got that, pal? | 明白了吗 伙计 |
| [18:04] | You understand me now, huh? | 现在明白我的意思了吧 |
| [18:07] | So let’s get stepping towards the door. | 赶紧移步出门吧 |
| [18:11] | Oh! Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. | 糟了 请无视幕布后的人 |
| [18:17] | This is a scam. | 这是个骗局 |
| [18:18] | Andrew Dice Clay didn’t turn us down, you did. | 骰子帝没否决我们 是你否决了我们 |
| [18:22] | You are a very bad man. | 你简直烂透了 |
| [18:24] | Yeah. I bet you don’t even know anything | 没错 你肯定根本就不懂 |
| [18:26] | about inventing products. | 发明产品吧 |
| [18:28] | That’s not true. | 不是的 |
| [18:29] | I mean, I invented this… | 起码这是我发明的 |
| [18:31] | this digital video | 这个数字视频 |
| [18:32] | motion-capture technology. | 动态摄取技术 |
| [18:35] | But I didn’t know anything about patent law, | 可我以前不懂什么专利法 |
| [18:36] | and it turns out James Cameron had invented it first. | 结果就变成它是詹姆士·卡梅隆发明的了 |
| [18:39] | That kid from Growing Pains? | 《成长的烦恼》里那孩子 |
| [18:41] | I always thought he was smart. | 我就觉得他挺聪明 |
| [18:43] | The point I’m trying to make is that | 我想说的是 |
| [18:46] | I thought I’d wasted | 我本来以为 |
| [18:47] | a lot of time and money on this, | 我浪费了很多时间和金钱在这上面 |
| [18:50] | and then I found an innovative way to make money with it. | 但后来我发现可以另辟蹊径用它来赚钱 |
| [18:53] | Yeah, by scamming us out of our savings | 对 就是骗了咱的积蓄 |
| [18:55] | and giving us nothing in return. | 还不给咱任何回报 |
| [18:56] | Now, listen, listen, easy, easy. | 听我说 消气 消气 |
| [18:58] | Okay, Burt? | 好吗 伯特 |
| [18:59] | Burt, okay, I wouldn’t say you didn’t get anything out of this. | 好吧伯特 我可不觉得你一无所获哦 |
| [19:03] | I mean, I heard Andrew say that you thought | 我听到安德鲁说 |
| [19:05] | you weren’t smart. | 你觉得你不够聪明 |
| [19:07] | I mean, you came up | 我想说 你想出了 |
| [19:08] | with the idea for… | 那个什么点子来着… |
| [19:11] | It’s yogurt that comes in flavors for men. | 是男士口味的酸奶 |
| [19:13] | That is a truly original idea. | 这绝对是原创啊 |
| [19:16] | Do you know what it takes to come up with an original idea? | 知道这年头原创有多不容易吗 |
| [19:21] | It takes a brain. | 要有脑子才行啊 |
| [19:24] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [19:25] | I guess it does. | 有道理啊 |
| [19:27] | Virginia, after Burt comforted Andrew, | 维吉妮亚 伯特安慰了安德鲁后 |
| [19:30] | I heard Burt tell you that you had no heart. | 我听到伯特说你自私无情 |
| [19:32] | And you agreed with him? | 而且你还承认了 |
| [19:34] | But then later, | 但在那之后 |
| [19:35] | when Andrew needed comforting and Burt wasn’t around, | 当安德鲁需要安慰而伯特又不在时 |
| [19:38] | you opened your arms and you opened your heart. | 你张开了双臂 敞开了心扉 |
| [19:42] | Yeah, I do have a heart. | 就是 我是有爱心的 |
| [19:44] | It’s just that Burt’s is so big, | 只是伯特的爱心太大了 |
| [19:46] | I never have a chance to use mine. | 都轮不到我献爱心 |
| [19:49] | And Andrew, you told Burt | 还有安德鲁 你告诉伯特 |
| [19:52] | that you were too afraid to even talk to Andrew Dice Clay. | 你甚至不敢跟安德鲁·戴斯·克莱说话 |
| [19:55] | And yet later, you summoned the courage | 但没过多久 你鼓起了勇气 |
| [19:59] | to not only talk to Andrew Dice Clay, | 不只跟他说了话 |
| [20:00] | you yelled at Andrew Dice Clay. | 还冲他狮子吼了 |
| [20:03] | It wasn’t Andrew Dice Clay, it was you. | 那不是他 是你 |
| [20:05] | But you didn’t know that. | 可你当时并不知道啊 |
| [20:10] | Is anybody else creeped out | 难道就没人觉得诡异么 |
| [20:11] | by how many conversations this guy eavesdrops on? | 这货偷听了别人多少谈话啊 |
| [20:14] | Hey, what about Jimmy? | 那吉米呢 |
| [20:15] | Yeah. What did Jimmy get out of this? | 就是 吉米有什么收获啊 |
| [20:17] | I’ll tell you what I got. | 我来告诉你们我有啥收获 |
| [20:18] | I got in a huge fight with Sabrina. | 我跟塞布丽娜大吵了一架 |
| [20:20] | Now I just want to go home. | 我现在只想回家 |
| [20:22] | And you can go home. | 你可以回家 |
| [20:24] | All of you could have gone home any time you wanted. | 只要你们愿意 随时可以回家 |
| [20:29] | My icecream! | 我的冰激淋 |
| [20:31] | It’s melting! It’s melting! | 化了 要化了 |
| [20:39] | Are you still mad at Jimmy about what happened today? | 你还在为今天的事跟吉米生气吗 |
| [20:43] | No. | 没有 |
| [20:44] | Actually, the more I think about it, | 说实话 我现在越想越觉得 |
| [20:46] | I kind of really liked seeing him blow up like that. | 我还挺喜欢他发脾气那小样儿的 |
| [20:49] | – I know. It really was kind of… – Hot, right? | -我懂 还真挺.. -性感的 是吧 |
| [20:52] | You know, I’m kind of glad I got in that fight with Sabrina. | 说实话 我有点高兴跟塞布丽娜吵了那一架 |
| [20:55] | I had her on such a pedestal. | 以前我总把她想得高高在上 |
| [20:56] | I’m glad you’re finally over her. | 真高兴你终于放下她了 |
| [20:58] | Oh, no, I still like her. | 不 我还是喜欢她 |
| [20:59] | But seeing how crazy she got | 但看到她那么疯狂 |
| [21:01] | kind of humanized her a bit. | 某种程度上让她显得更有人性了 |
| [21:03] | Which is good. Takes her down a few pegs. | 这是好事 让她不那么遥不可及了 |
| [21:05] | Hey, that Wizard of Oz movie’s coming on. | 哇 绿野仙踪快演了 |
| [21:07] | Should we try watching it again? | 咱们再试着看一次不 |
| [21:08] | See if we can get past the first ten minutes? | 看看能不能撑过前十分钟 |
| [21:10] | I just don’t see the point of buying a color TV | 我就不明白 要看黑白电影 |
| [21:12] | to watch a black-and-white movie. | 还买彩电干嘛啊 |
| [21:14] | Plus Hope only likes movies with singing and dancing and monkeys. | 而且喜旺只喜欢有唱有跳有猴子的电影 |
| [21:16] | She’d hate it. | 她不会喜欢那片子的 |
| [21:18] | It doesn’t matter. | 不管了 |
| [21:19] | I’ll find something else. | 我再找找别的 |
| [21:20] | I’m just happy to be home. | 反正能在家我就很欢乐了 |
| [21:23] | There’s no place like home. | 在哪都不如在家好啊 |