| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | There’s a lot of things you do when you have a daughter | 当你有了女儿后 |
| [00:04] | that you never pictured yourself doing. | 便会做出许多以前打死也想不到的事情 |
| [00:06] | This is so much cuter now that I took in the waist. | 收了下腰真是可爱多了 |
| [00:09] | Little by little, you start to change. | 渐渐地 你越陷越深 |
| [00:11] | Okay, Hope, who do you think wore it better? | 喜旺啊 你觉得谁穿的比较好看 |
| [00:13] | Jessica Biel or Lea Michele? | 杰西卡·贝尔还是丽亚·米雪儿 |
| [00:19] | You’re crazy. | 真没眼光 |
| [00:20] | And before you know it, | 在你意识到这些之前 |
| [00:21] | you’re just not the same guy you used to be. | 你就已面目全非了 |
| [00:23] | You know, girls, I think I like making them | 姑娘们 我愈发觉得自己 |
| [00:25] | almost as much as eating them. | 对做菜的热爱已经快赶上吃菜了 |
| [00:27] | Am I right? | 没错吧 |
| [00:29] | And the weird part is, | 最诡异的是 |
| [00:30] | you don’t even realize you’ve changed | 直到有人想把你拽出火坑的那一刹那 |
| [00:31] | until someone finally calls you out on it. | 你才会意识到你变了 |
| [00:35] | Stop being a girl. | 别娘了 |
| [00:45] | I’m not saying to stop being a great dad. | 我不是不让你做个好爸爸 |
| [00:47] | Just butch it up a little. | 只是拜托你像点男人吧 |
| [00:49] | You don’t want other guys seeing you do this stuff. | 要是被别的男孩看到你做这些多糗啊 |
| [00:52] | You don’t want girls seeing you do it. | 妹子们也不会喜欢这样的男人 |
| [00:54] | You think Sabrina wants to be with a guy | 你还指望塞布丽娜会和个 |
| [00:55] | who cries at cell phone commercials? | 看看手机广告都能黯然神伤的人厮守一生么 |
| [00:57] | It’s just that one. | 只有那一个广告而已 |
| [00:58] | The guy finds a teddy bear | 那男的发现他女儿 |
| [00:59] | his daughter put in his suitcase, and… | 在他手提箱里藏了只泰迪熊 |
| [01:01] | he calls her all the way from China. | 于是即使身在中国也要打电话给她 |
| [01:04] | Oh, you’re a mess, dude. | 你完了 哥们儿 |
| [01:06] | Women like sensitive guys. | 女人喜欢柔情汉 |
| [01:08] | Where’d you hear that? | 听谁说的 |
| [01:09] | – Mom. – Please. | -妈妈 -别听她的 |
| [01:11] | Women think they like sensitive men. | 女人以为自己喜欢多情的 |
| [01:13] | But they also want someone with a little bit of danger. | 但男人不坏女人不爱 |
| [01:16] | I’m not saying you got to be a ten on the macho scale. | 我也不是要你做个满分男子汉 |
| [01:18] | I mean, your patchy beard growth rules that out. | 你那稀稀拉拉的胡须实在不够格 |
| [01:21] | But you used to be a seven. | 但你以前再怎么也有七分 |
| [01:22] | Ever since the baby came along, | 可自从有了宝宝 |
| [01:23] | you’ve been moving down to about a five. | 你直线降到五分 |
| [01:25] | That’s just above Rosie O’Donnell. | 就比罗西·欧唐纳高那么一点点 |
| [01:27] | You think that’s what Sabrina’s looking for? | 你真以为塞布丽娜想找这种男人 |
| [01:29] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [01:30] | – What number are you? – I’m an eight. | -那你几分 -我八分 |
| [01:32] | It’s the perfect number for a man. | 作为男人的最优得分 |
| [01:33] | I have a little bit of sensitivity | 谈着吉他喝着小酒的我 |
| [01:35] | because I play guitar, and my love of daiquiris. | 柔情似水 |
| [01:37] | That, and you have a rating system for men. | 你还有套男人评分系统 |
| [01:39] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [01:40] | But your mom fell in love with me | 但你妈妈会爱上我 |
| [01:41] | because I also have my dangerous side. | 是因为我同时也有危险的一面 |
| [01:43] | I smuggle fireworks across the border. | 我在边境走私烟火 |
| [01:45] | I give cops a lot of lip. | 跟条子死磕 |
| [01:46] | I dry-humped the school mascot at homecoming. | 还在同学会上和学校吉祥物贴身热舞 |
| [01:49] | Your mother claims she hated that kind of stuff, | 你妈嘴里说讨厌这些 |
| [01:51] | but hey, she let me knock her up. | 但她还部是臣服于我 |
| [01:53] | Well, I’m not going to become a smuggler, | 我才不要做走私犯 |
| [01:55] | or talk back to cops or hump mascots. | 也不会跟条子顶嘴 更不会跟吉祥物热舞 |
| [01:57] | Well, you got to find | 你要有你自己的风格 |
| [01:58] | your own thing, then– something dangerous | 在她不讨厌的范围里 |
| [01:59] | that she’ll want to hear about. | 耍耍小坏 |
| [02:01] | You got to get your edge back, man. | 找回你自己吧 孩子 |
| [02:03] | I haven’t lost my edge. | 我没丢失我自己 |
| [02:04] | It was a windy day outside the black church, | 外面好大的风 我在黑人教堂门口 |
| [02:05] | so I got a couple of good ones. | 捡到不少好东东 |
| [02:07] | I’ll go make your virgin mint juleps. | 我去给你们调杯圣洁的薄荷朱利酒 |
| [02:10] | Our pretty little ponies are running | 我有一头小毛驴我从来也不骑 |
| [02:11] | in the Pretty Little Kentucky Derby later. | 有一天我心血来潮骑着去赶集 |
| [02:15] | Maybe I’ve lost a bit of my edge. | 我真得拯救自己了 |
| [02:26] | What are you doing up there? | 干嘛呢你 |
| [02:27] | Just having my lunch break where it’s dangerous. | 就想找个危险的地方午休 |
| [02:30] | Guess I’m kind of a daredevil. | 勇者范儿 有没有 |
| [02:31] | I guess so. | 有有有 |
| [02:32] | Well, I like living on the edge. | 我就是个铤而走险的人 |
| [02:35] | And, apparently, I’m not | 但貌似 |
| [02:36] | the first person to have lunch up here. | 有人先我一步驻扎这里了 |
| [02:38] | There’s raisins on this beam. | 梁上还放了些葡萄干 |
| [02:42] | It’s not a raisin. | 不是葡萄干 |
| [02:43] | James, James, James! | 詹姆士 詹姆士 詹姆士 |
| [02:45] | Do we all need to watch | 我们是不是该 |
| [02:46] | the company’s work safety video again? | 重温下安全生产录像了 |
| [02:48] | I would like to cordially invite you both | 我非常诚挚地邀请你们 |
| [02:51] | to my uncle’s party tonight. | 参加我舅舅今晚办的派对 |
| [02:53] | Oh, uh, I can’t. | 我去不了 |
| [02:55] | Uh, I’m, uh, waxing my floors, | 我得在家给地板打蜡 |
| [02:57] | my, uh, car, | 还有我的车 |
| [02:59] | my skis, my legs. | 我的皮肤 还有腿 |
| [03:00] | I have a lot of wax I need to get rid of. | 身上肯定沾了很多蜡要弄掉 |
| [03:03] | What about you, Sabrina? | 你呢 塞布丽娜 |
| [03:04] | Oh, I can’t. | 我也不行 |
| [03:06] | I have really bad diarrhea. | 我一直在拉肚子 |
| [03:08] | Well, that’s a shame | 真遗憾 |
| [03:09] | ’cause we’re going to get some beer | 我们打算带着啤酒 |
| [03:11] | and blow stuff up in the park. | 去公园玩点刺激的 |
| [03:15] | You’re so lucky he didn’t look up. | 你该庆幸他没抬头 |
| [03:17] | You didn’t even have to make up an excuse. | 借口都省了 |
| [03:18] | And now I have to go wax my legs | 我得去蜜蜡脱毛了 |
| [03:21] | ’cause you can bet Frank will be | 我敢打赌弗兰克 |
| [03:22] | checking my calves tomorrow. | 明天回来会查我小腿 |
| [03:25] | I don’t understand why | 真想不通 |
| [03:25] | anybody would would want to go Frank’s party. | 会有人去弗兰克家的派对 |
| [03:27] | I mean, it just sounds dangerous. | 听听就很危险 |
| [03:29] | Dangerous, huh? | 危险 |
| [03:31] | Hey, Frank, what time is that party? | 弗兰克 几点的派对 |
| [03:33] | I’m in. | 我来 |
| [03:35] | I don’t like the idea of you | 我觉得你去和弗兰克 |
| [03:36] | blowing stuff up with Frank. | 一起搞破坏不好 |
| [03:38] | He’s creepy. | 太恐怖了 |
| [03:40] | You know, he gets this from you. | 都是你教的 |
| [03:41] | This is like one of those | 跟你高中做的蠢事 |
| [03:42] | idiot things you did in high school. | 如出一辙 |
| [03:46] | You know what’s one of the idiot things she did in high school? | 想不想听听一件她在高中做的蠢事 |
| [03:48] | Me. | 就是我 |
| [03:50] | ‘Cause I’m dangerous. | 因为我很危险 |
| [03:51] | Go get ’em, danger boy! | 干掉他们 坏小孩 |
| [04:05] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [04:08] | You ready to blow something up? | 准备好开吹了吗 |
| [04:10] | Uh, I think I’m just going to watch things first. | 我想我还是先观摩一下为好 |
| [04:13] | All right, watch the master. | 也好 看看大师的功力 |
| [04:20] | So this is blowing things up? | 就是吹这个 |
| [04:22] | Do you blow them up until they explode? | 是要吹爆为止吗 |
| [04:25] | No, dude. Just till you get dizzy. | 不 伙计 把自己吹晕就行了 |
| [05:03] | Morning. | 早 |
| [05:04] | You want eggs or toast for breakfast? | 早饭要吃鸡蛋还是面包 |
| [05:06] | But keep in mind, if you say eggs, | 友情提醒 要鸡蛋的话 |
| [05:08] | you’re going to be disappointed. | 可能会令你失望 |
| [05:10] | What’s going on? | 发生什么了 |
| [05:12] | Where am I? | 我这是在哪儿 |
| [05:13] | My place. | 我家 |
| [05:14] | You passed out. | 你昨晚晕过去了 |
| [05:15] | I know I said I’d carry you home, | 我知道我说过要送你回家的 |
| [05:17] | but dizzy Frank isn’t good | 但头晕中的弗兰克 |
| [05:19] | about keeping his promises. | 可不擅于遵守诺言 |
| [05:21] | Hey, that looks like my house. | 这跟我家很像啊 |
| [05:25] | You even have the six Frisbees we lost on the roof. | 居然连我我家屋顶丢失的六个飞碟都有 |
| [05:27] | Yeah. | 必须的 |
| [05:29] | I used satellite images | 我运用卫星图像 |
| [05:30] | and built a model of the whole town. | 造出了整个小镇的模型 |
| [05:32] | I’m not as weird as you thought I was, am I? | 我没你想的那么诡异 对吧 |
| [05:41] | I can’t believe you made a tiny Natesville. | 真不敢相信你造出了迷你版的那什维尔镇 |
| [05:44] | Well, it’s not technically Natesville. | 也不算严格意义上的那什维尔啦 |
| [05:46] | It’s New Natesville. | 这是新版那什维尔 |
| [05:48] | It’s exactly like Natesville, except way cooler. | 跟那什维尔一样 但是酷多了 |
| [05:51] | Is that you? | 那是你吗 |
| [05:52] | Yeah. I was just having a beer. | 对 我在喝啤酒 |
| [05:55] | I was exhausted after helping my parents | 我刚帮父母搬家来这里 |
| [05:57] | move back into town. | 整个累死了 |
| [05:59] | I thought your parents moved to Florida. | 我还以为你父母搬去佛罗里达了 |
| [06:01] | No, not in New Natesville. | 不 这不会发生在新那什维尔 |
| [06:04] | They missed me so much, they moved back. | 他们无比想念我 于是就搬回来了 |
| [06:08] | Here, check it out. | 来看这个 |
| [06:13] | This is them driving up in their moving van. | 这是他们开着他们的搬家车 |
| [06:15] | They sped, they were so eager to see me. | 他们开得飞快 因为他们想死我了 |
| [06:18] | I did most of the moving. | 我是主力搬运工 |
| [06:20] | Mom likes how strong I am. | 妈妈就喜欢看我强悍的样子 |
| [06:22] | And then we celebrated | 然后我们喝金纯气泡苹果汁 |
| [06:24] | with sparkling cider | 以示庆祝 |
| [06:25] | ’cause, in New Natesville, my dad’s not an alcoholic. | 因为在新那什维尔 我爸不再是酒鬼了 |
| [06:28] | It’s really artistic. | 这绝对是艺术啊 |
| [06:30] | Thanks. | 谢了 |
| [06:31] | I got the idea from this really cool documentary | 这灵感来自于一部超酷的纪录片 |
| [06:33] | called Marwencol. | 《马文科尔》 |
| [06:36] | I based a lot of my life on movies. | 我生活中很多东西都源于电影 |
| [06:38] | My hair? | 比如我的发型 |
| [06:39] | Lou Diamond Phillips, Young Guns II. | 源自路·戴蒙·菲利普斯 《龙威虎将》 |
| [06:42] | Everything looks so accurate. | 这些模型看起来都好精准 |
| [06:44] | Everything except Eagle Mountain. | 除了飞鹰山 |
| [06:47] | Originally, I used cocoa powder, | 起初我用的可可粉 |
| [06:49] | but I kept destroying it | 但每次想喝巧克力牛奶时 |
| [06:50] | every time I craved chocolate milk, | 就会被我毁掉一小块 |
| [06:52] | and so, I gotta switch to dirt. | 所以就改用土来做了 |
| [06:54] | Whoa. Cool. Howdy’s. | 哇 酷啊 豪迪超市 |
| [07:03] | What’s with all the balloons? | 为啥会有气球 |
| [07:04] | New Natesville has a bit of an alien problem. | 新那什维尔有一个外星人 |
| [07:09] | Last week, he tried to attack the store. | 上周他试图袭击商店 |
| [07:11] | He didn’t count on Frank the deli ninja. | 他没想到弗兰克是熟食忍者 |
| [07:15] | Barney threw me a party | 巴尼为我办了个派对 |
| [07:16] | and named me employee of the year. | 并封我为年度最佳员工 |
| [07:18] | And at the awards ceremony, | 在颁奖礼上 |
| [07:21] | I got to meet the Dukes of Hazzard. | 我见到了正义先锋 |
| [07:23] | The alien’s into Marilyn Manson? | 外星人是源自玛丽莲曼森么 |
| [07:25] | Well, he’s sort of loosely based on this kid I used to know. | 他的原型是我认识的一个哥们儿 |
| [07:29] | Back in junior high, | 追溯到初中时代 |
| [07:31] | I wasn’t the cool, confident Frank you know. | 我还不是你认识的这个高帅酷的弗兰克 |
| [07:34] | Mostly ’cause of Tommy Bitzleberger. | 很大程度上是因为汤姆·毕兹柏格 |
| [07:36] | Hey, Frank. | 喂 弗兰克 |
| [07:38] | Put your hair the way I like it. | 把头发弄成我喜欢的样子 |
| [07:42] | Good. | 乖 |
| [07:43] | Now I’m going to do the “Frank the Skank” Rap. | 现在我要开始说唱《废柴弗兰克》了 |
| [07:46] | I need a beat. | 我需要节奏 |
| [07:48] | Bang your head against the window for me, skank. | 用头撞玻璃给我打拍子 废柴 |
| [07:55] | rank the Skank smells really rank | 废柴弗兰克一股子恶臭 |
| [07:58] | His father drank, his sister stank | 老爹酗酒 妹子狐臭 |
| [07:59] | His fat mama’s got a butt The size of a tank. | 肥妈的屁股赛碉堡 |
| [08:02] | She can’t exercise because of fibromyalgia. | 她不能锻炼 因为她患有纤维肌痛 |
| [08:04] | Hey, stay on the beat! | 好好打你的拍子 |
| [08:12] | I don’t believe this. | 真不敢相信 |
| [08:13] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [08:14] | You’d think a Marilyn Manson fan | 你一定以为玛丽莲曼森的粉丝 |
| [08:16] | would have more class. | 应该更有品味才对 |
| [08:17] | No, I mean that it was Bitzleberger. | 不 我是说毕兹柏格 |
| [08:20] | He bullied me, too. | 他也欺负过我 |
| [08:23] | The shirt’s fine. | 这衬衣很好 |
| [08:24] | You look like a Backyard Boy. | 你看起来就像后舍男生 |
| [08:26] | It’s a girl’s shirt. | 这是女士衬衣 |
| [08:27] | You have poor parents and narrow shoulders. | 你爹妈没钱 你肩膀又正好挺窄 |
| [08:29] | My hand-me-downs are all that fit you. | 我的衣服你都能穿 |
| [08:31] | Burt, quit messing with their grass. | 伯特 别折腾人家的草坪了 |
| [08:33] | This is impressive fescue. | 这牛毛草太赞了 |
| [08:35] | Leave it alone. | 别折腾了 |
| [08:36] | Relax. | 别担心 |
| [08:37] | Nobody’s going to know it’s a girl’s shirt. | 没人会发现这是女式衬衣的 |
| [08:54] | Hey. | 喂 |
| [08:56] | That’s a girl’s shirt. | 这是女士衬衣 |
| [08:57] | Um, no, it’s not. | 不 不是 |
| [08:59] | It’s… It’s a girl’s shirt. | 这就是女士衬衣 |
| [09:01] | The buttons are on the other side. | 纽扣在另一边 |
| [09:03] | All that’s missing are some boobs. | 这衣服就差没奶子了 |
| [09:05] | Make some boobs. | 做点奶子出来 |
| [09:07] | I-I really don’t want to… | 我实在不想… |
| [09:08] | Make some boobs. | 做点奶子出来 |
| [09:17] | Check it out. | 快看啊 |
| [09:18] | This kid’s got boobs. | 这哥们儿有奶子 |
| [09:19] | Stop it. | 够了 |
| [09:20] | Oh, is that what you want? You want me to stop? | 是么 想让我停是么 |
| [09:27] | Yes! | 哦耶 |
| [09:28] | Dad, can you make Tommy Bitzleberger stop picking on me? | 爸 能不能让毕兹柏格别再挑我刺儿了 |
| [09:31] | Can’t fight your battles for you, son. | 你的仗我可不能帮着打 儿子 |
| [09:32] | Come on, Burt. | 不是吧 伯特 |
| [09:34] | He tore what used to be my favorite blouse. | 他把我曾经最爱的衬衣都撕坏了 |
| [09:36] | Jimmy, just hit him once. Trust me. | 吉米 揍他一次 相信我 |
| [09:38] | And he’ll stop beating me up? | 然后他就不会打我了 |
| [09:39] | Oh, no, he’ll still beat you up. | 不 他会暴打你 |
| [09:40] | But he’ll move on to weaker prey. | 但他接下来就会去寻找更弱小的猎物了 |
| [09:42] | It’s the law of the jungle. | 这就是丛林法则 |
| [09:45] | What are you laughing at? | 笑啥 |
| [09:46] | “Law of the jungle.” | 丛林法则 |
| [09:47] | I just keep seeing a monkey judge | 我脑中一直浮现出猴子法官 |
| [09:49] | with a banana gavel. | 拿着香蕉小锤的画面 |
| [09:52] | That’s great. | 真搞笑 |
| [09:53] | Why doesn’t somebody put that on TV? | 咋没人拍进电视里去呢 |
| [10:00] | I never stood up to him, but luckily, | 我没鼓起勇气反抗过 但很幸运 |
| [10:02] | he got sick of picking on me and eventually left me alone. | 他厌倦了欺负我 总算不再找我茬了 |
| [10:05] | I was not so lucky. | 我就没那么幸运了 |
| [10:07] | He tortured me every day in high school. | 高中时他每天都欺负我 |
| [10:10] | And once every six months after high school. | 而且高中毕业后每过六个月 |
| [10:13] | We used to have the same dentist. | 我们就会去看相同的牙医 |
| [10:17] | Do you think we can take some pictures | 能不能拍一些 |
| [10:18] | of my doll beating up Bitzleberger’s doll? | 我的模型打败毕兹柏格的照片 |
| [10:22] | Dude, he’s your doll. | 兄弟 那可是你的模型 |
| [10:24] | I think it’s kind of weird you’re asking my permission. | 你还问我行不行 太滑稽了 |
| [10:28] | You don’t want to show that kind of weakness | 在外星人面前 |
| [10:30] | in front of the alien. | 你可不能表现得太软弱 |
| [10:38] | Hey. Be careful. | 喂 当心点 |
| [10:39] | She had a big breakfast. | 她早餐吃了好多 |
| [10:41] | I can tell. | 发现了 |
| [10:42] | I’m kicking myself for not doing this | 吉米小时候我没这么逗他玩 |
| [10:43] | with Jimmy when he was a baby. | 现在真后悔死了 |
| [10:45] | The bigger she gets, | 她越长大 |
| [10:46] | the stronger I’ll be. | 我也会变得更强壮 |
| [10:48] | The bigger she gets, the weirder it’ll be. | 她越长大 这样越诡异 |
| [10:53] | Hey. | 好啊 |
| [10:54] | Guys, is Jimmy here? | 吉米在这里吗 |
| [10:56] | No. Nobody knows where he is, | 没在 没人知道他在哪儿 |
| [10:58] | ’cause he’s a very dangerous, very edgy guy. | 因为他是个又危险又急躁的人物 |
| [10:59] | Come on in, hon. I’m actually kind of worried about him. | 进来吧 亲爱的 我是有点担心他了 |
| [11:02] | Yeah, me, too. | 是啊 我也是 |
| [11:03] | He was supposed to come over for breakfast. | 他本来该过来吃早饭的 |
| [11:04] | He was gonna tell me about Frank’s party. | 顺便告诉我弗兰克的聚会情况 |
| [11:06] | I’m very curious to know if Frank’s uncle | 我超好奇弗兰克的叔叔 |
| [11:07] | is just Frank wearing a mustache. | 是不是就是长了胡子的弗兰克 |
| [11:09] | You don’t think this Frank guy | 你不会以为弗兰克那家伙 |
| [11:10] | could’ve done something crazy to him, do you? | 会对他做出什么很疯狂的事吧 |
| [11:12] | I’m surprised every day when Frank doesn’t | 他要是有一天不对我们做些诡异的事 |
| [11:14] | do something crazy to all of us. | 我才会觉得奇怪呢 |
| [11:17] | Look, if you guys are worried about him, | 既然你们这么担心他 |
| [11:19] | I’m happy to go get him. | 我很乐意去接他 |
| [11:20] | But he’s a very tough, sexy, very virile young guy. | 不过他可是个坚强 性感的年轻男子汉 |
| [11:24] | Oh, Jimmy, you were so brave to fight that alien. | 吉米 你打败了外星人 真是太勇敢啦 |
| [11:29] | Let me tenderly tend your wounds | 就让我温柔地抚慰你的伤口 |
| [11:31] | and occasionally make out with you. | 再一不小心亲热一下吧 |
| [11:40] | Hey, Frank. | 弗兰克 |
| [11:42] | You seen Jimmy? | 你看到吉米了吗 |
| [11:44] | No. | 没 |
| [11:45] | I haven’t seen Jimmy. | 我没见过吉米 |
| [11:47] | Jimmy who? | 哪个吉米 |
| [11:49] | Jimmy, my son. | 我儿子 吉米 |
| [11:50] | He went out with you last night. | 他昨晚跟你一起出去的 |
| [11:52] | Nope. | 没有 |
| [11:54] | What’s with the tarp | 那这防水布 |
| [11:55] | and the shallow grave you’re digging there? | 和你挖的这小坟墓是咋回事 |
| [11:57] | I may be putting in a pool. | 我也许会挖个水池 |
| [12:00] | Or digging to China. | 也许会挖个地道去中国 |
| [12:01] | What business is it of yours? | 关你啥事 |
| [12:04] | I think you’re the one who’s shallow. | 我看你才浅薄呢 |
| [12:07] | Cards on the table, Frank. | 我们摊牌吧 弗兰克 |
| [12:09] | Did you kill my boy? | 你是不是杀了我儿子 |
| [12:13] | No! | 不 |
| [12:14] | You can’t go in there! | 你不能进去 |
| [12:16] | What about your boyfriend? | 那你的男朋友怎么办 |
| [12:18] | Oh, the aliens turned him into foam | 外星人把他变成泡沫 |
| [12:20] | and made a mattress out of him. | 做成了床垫 |
| [12:22] | Let’s lie down on him and start kissing. | 我们就躺在这床垫上开始亲亲吧 |
| [12:27] | Playing with dolls? | 玩娃娃 |
| [12:29] | I send you out to become more of a man | 我让你出来变得更男人点 |
| [12:30] | and you’re playing with dolls? | 你倒是玩上娃娃了 |
| [12:32] | Please tell me you’re high on drugs. | 求你告诉我 你是嗑药了 |
| [12:33] | No. | 没 |
| [12:37] | You can kill him now. | 你现在可以杀了他了 |
| [12:43] | And then Frank jumped on the alien’s back | 然后弗兰克一下跳到外星人背上 |
| [12:45] | and totally saved the whole store. | 拯救了整个杂货店 |
| [12:47] | Cool, right? | 很酷吧 |
| [12:48] | Okay, Jimmy, playing dolls with your daughter is sensitive, | 得了 吉米 和你的女儿一起玩娃娃很感人 |
| [12:52] | but playing dolls with Frank is freakin’ weird. | 可是跟弗兰克一起玩娃娃那就有点诡异了 |
| [12:54] | Uh, yeah. Especially because there’s a doll | 就是 尤其是那里有个娃娃 |
| [12:56] | that looks just like me that has ridiculously huge boobs. | 长得跟我一模一样 胸部还大得惊人 |
| [13:00] | Yeah, apparently Frank’s doll bought those for you. | 是啊 显然是弗兰克的模型给你弄的 |
| [13:02] | Not comforting. | 还是不爽 |
| [13:03] | You guys just don’t understand what Frank and I do | 你们无法理解我和弗兰克的行为 |
| [13:06] | because you weren’t picked on by Tommy Bitzleberger. | 是因为你们从没被汤姆·毕兹柏格欺负过 |
| [13:09] | The bully from the bus when you were 12? | 就是你12岁时在校车上欺负你的那个 |
| [13:11] | I knew it. | 我就知道 |
| [13:13] | I knew if you didn’t stand up to him, it would haunt you forever. | 我就知道如果你没反抗过他 你就永远忘不了 |
| [13:15] | He needed to make it stop on his own. | 他得自己解决这事 |
| [13:16] | That’s why I told you not to get involved. | 这就是我叫你别插手的原因 |
| [13:18] | Burt, not in front of the boy. | 伯特 别当着孩子的面说 |
| [13:20] | Get involved? | 插手 |
| [13:21] | I thought he was just sick of me. | 我还以为他是烦我了 |
| [13:22] | Or maybe when I started bringing that light saber to school, | 或者可能是我带了那个小军刀去学校 |
| [13:25] | it sort of scared him off. | 有点吓退他了 |
| [13:27] | Yeah, I bet it was that light stick thing. | 没错 我敢说就是那小棍的原因 |
| [13:29] | You were very nimble with that. | 你很聪明 |
| [13:30] | Who wants pie? | 有人要吃派吗 |
| [13:31] | Virginia, just tell him. | 维吉妮亚 告诉他吧 |
| [13:33] | Kid’s playing with dolls. | 这孩子都玩上娃娃了 |
| [13:34] | What’s there left to save? | 还有什么不能说的 |
| [13:36] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [13:39] | After a few months, it was clear | 几个月后 很明显 |
| [13:42] | that you weren’t going to take care of things yourself. | 你不愿意自己解决自己的事情 |
| [13:44] | Your father wasn’t any help. | 你爸又啥都不管 |
| [13:46] | And I was running out of blouses that fit you. | 我能给你穿得衬衣也都被撕的差不多了 |
| [13:51] | So, I took care of things myself. | 所以我就亲自出马了 |
| [14:00] | Listen to me, you little foot wart. | 听我说 你个小混球 |
| [14:02] | You like to make fun of kids who wear girls’ shirts? | 你喜欢取笑穿女式衬衫的孩子是吧 |
| [14:04] | For your information, it’s the newest thing. | 告诉你 这是最新的款式 |
| [14:07] | It’s called “Metero-sexual.” | 叫做 超性感 |
| [14:09] | But you wouldn’t know that since you don’t read Parade magazine. | 就因为你从不看时尚杂志 你永远也不会懂 |
| [14:13] | Maybe you should wear some lipstick, | 也许你该上点唇膏 |
| [14:15] | since you think boys who look like girls | 你不是觉得男孩看着像女孩 |
| [14:16] | are so hilarious. | 很有意思吗 |
| [14:18] | Huh? | 不是吗 |
| [14:21] | Go! | 滚 |
| [14:24] | And walk like you’re wearing high heels! | 像穿着高跟鞋一样走 |
| [14:31] | And he never bothered you again. | 从此 他就没再惹你了 |
| [14:33] | Why didn’t you just tell me? | 你干嘛不告诉我 |
| [14:34] | I figured, what’s the harm? | 我觉得这没什么大碍 |
| [14:36] | I really didn’t see this creepy playing with dolls thing coming. | 我真没想到还会有玩娃娃这种诡异的事发生 |
| [14:39] | Well, there’s only one thing to do. | 现在只有一件事要做 |
| [14:41] | You got to fight this guy. | 你得打败那家伙 |
| [14:43] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:44] | That’s crazy. | 太疯狂了 |
| [14:45] | No, your father’s right. You need to finally | 不 你爸说得对 你最终 |
| [14:47] | stand up for yourself. | 得为自己搏一把 |
| [14:48] | Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! | 冲 冲 冲 冲 冲 |
| [14:50] | But he was huge. | 可他块头很大 |
| [14:51] | What if he kept growing? | 要是他不停长怎么办 |
| [14:52] | I grew two feet since then. | 那之后 我长了0.6米 |
| [14:54] | He was already six-foot-three. | 他那时差不多就有1米9了 |
| [14:55] | He’d be eight-foot-three. | 现在可能要2米5了呢 |
| [14:57] | There’s two of you now. | 你们现在有两个人 |
| [14:58] | You and Frank can take this guy. | 你和弗兰克能打败这家伙 |
| [15:00] | Together, the two of you are, like, 12-foot-16. | 你俩加起来 大概就有3米7了吧 |
| [15:03] | Jimmy, you have to do this. | 吉米 你必须去战斗 |
| [15:05] | You have to vanquish your beast. | 你得战胜内心的野兽 |
| [15:06] | Like Beowulf. | 就像《贝奥武夫》 |
| [15:10] | Moby Dick. | 或是《大白鲸》 |
| [15:13] | Revenge of the Nerds? | 《菜鸟大反攻》总该知道了吧 |
| [15:15] | Oh. It’ll be dangerous, | 这会很危险 |
| [15:16] | but you can be dangerous, son. | 但你也可以有危险的一面 儿子 |
| [15:18] | Right? | 对吧 |
| [15:22] | Yeah, I can be dangerous. | 对 我也可以有危险的一面 |
| [15:24] | Okay, all right, yeah. | 好 没问题 |
| [15:27] | I’ll do it. | 我去 |
| [15:28] | This is awesome. | 太棒了 |
| [15:29] | And don’t forget, | 别忘了 |
| [15:30] | you got Frank the deli ninja. | 你还有熟食忍者弗兰克帮忙 |
| [15:31] | I mean, you’ve seen how good he is with sausage nunchuks. | 你也看到了 他超会耍香肠的 |
| [15:39] | You’re ready. | 你准备好了 |
| [15:40] | Let’s do this. | 咱们上吧 |
| [17:46] | Uh, we’re looking for Tommy Bitzleberger. | 我们找汤姆·毕兹柏格 |
| [17:50] | Is… is he home? | 他 他在家吗 |
| [17:52] | Well, yes, sort of. | 算是吧 |
| [17:54] | I’m Tommy Bitzleberger. | 我就是汤姆·毕兹柏格 |
| [17:56] | Although it’s Tammy Bitzleberger now. | 不过现在是汤”母”·毕兹柏格了 |
| [18:07] | And after a lot of reflection, | 经过长时间的反思 |
| [18:08] | I realized the reason I was beating you guys up was because | 我意识到当初之所以欺负你们 |
| [18:10] | something was missing from my life: a vagina. | 是因为我的身体缺少了一样东西 阴道 |
| [18:14] | Now I sort of have one. | 现在我算是有了 |
| [18:16] | I tried to be the tough guy, | 我总是佯装凶悍 |
| [18:17] | but inside was a pretty little girl | 但内心里却是个弱女子 |
| [18:19] | afraid to come out. | 不敢面对真实的自己 |
| [18:26] | I was never happy as Tommy. | 我做汤姆的时候从未开心过 |
| [18:28] | I guess that’s why I was so angry all the time. | 我想这就是我总是愤怒的原因吧 |
| [18:30] | I’m really sorry, guys. | 真的很抱歉 伙计们 |
| [18:32] | That’s okay. | 没关系 |
| [18:33] | Here we’ve been blaming you for what happened, | 我们一直把自己身上的不行归咎与你 |
| [18:34] | but I guess those years were hard on all of us. | 但看来这些年我们大家都过得不容易 |
| [18:37] | I think we got what we came for. | 我想我们的目的已经达到了 |
| [18:39] | Thanks for the lemon… | 谢谢你的柠檬… |
| [18:41] | What are you doing?! | 你干嘛啊 |
| [18:42] | Your dad was right. | 你爸说得对 |
| [18:43] | That felt awesome. | 感觉爽极了 |
| [18:45] | I never felt so… | 我从未感觉如此… |
| [18:48] | You think you can come onto my porch | 你以为你能大摇大摆走进我家 |
| [18:49] | and drink my lemonade?! | 还喝我的柠檬汁 |
| [18:50] | I didn’t drink any… | 我没喝… |
| [18:52] | lemonade! | 柠檬汁 |
| [18:54] | Jimmy, help! | 吉米 帮我 |
| [18:55] | Leave him alone! | 放开他 |
| [18:56] | Stop it! | 住手 |
| [18:58] | You want me to stop? Huh? | 是么 |
| [19:00] | Is that what you want? Huh? | 要我住手是么 |
| [19:02] | You want me to stop? | 想让我住手 |
| [19:03] | Is that what you want? Huh? | 是么 嗯 |
| [19:04] | Stop it! | 够了 |
| [19:17] | Aerial assault! | 天外飞仙 |
| [19:33] | Uncle! Uncle! | 叔叔 我们错了 |
| [19:35] | Say aunt! Say aunt! | 叫阿姨 叫阿姨 |
| [19:36] | Aunt! Aunt! | 阿姨 我们错了 |
| [19:44] | I knew I should’ve gone with you. | 我就知道该跟你一起去的 |
| [19:45] | I never would’ve let that fella hurt my baby. | 我就不该让那混蛋有机会伤害我的宝贝 |
| [19:48] | He was unstoppable, Mom. | 他太猛了 妈 |
| [19:49] | He was a large, large unstoppable man. | 他是个超大只又势不可挡的汉子 |
| [19:52] | Very manly. | 超man的 |
| [19:53] | Penis and everything. | 小鸡鸡什么的都有 |
| [19:56] | He used it as a weapon. | 他还用来当武器来着 |
| [19:58] | I don’t remember that part. | 我怎么不记得了 |
| [19:59] | In fact, I don’t think that happened. | 实际上 我想应该没那回事儿 |
| [20:00] | Pretty sure of it. | 绝对没那回事儿 |
| [20:01] | But he was a big man. | 但他确实是个大只佬 |
| [20:03] | You’re gonna need ice on this. | 你得用冰敷一下 |
| [20:06] | Why didn’t you guys just run | 他开门的时候 |
| [20:07] | as soon as he opened the door? | 你们咋不撒丫子逃跑呢 |
| [20:08] | I mean, six-ten, 290 pounds and he had a dart gun? | 他有姚明的身高 相扑的体重 居然还有飞镖 |
| [20:13] | He shot me full of tranquilizer darts. | 他用麻醉飞镖射中了我 |
| [20:15] | That explains any inconsistencies in my story. | 这就解释了我们故事中不一致的地方 |
| [20:20] | Congratulations, Jimmy. | 恭喜你 吉米 |
| [20:22] | You did it. | 你做到了 |
| [20:23] | You start doing the Hope workout with me, | 跟我一起做”举喜旺”练习 |
| [20:24] | you’ll be able to kick anybody’s ass. | 你会变成无敌硬汉的 |
| [20:26] | Although she’s heavy. | 不过她倒真挺重的 |
| [20:28] | There’s a preemie at day care | 日托所有个早产儿 |
| [20:29] | you might want to start off with. | 你最好先从举她开始 |
| [20:30] | Thanks, Dad, but I didn’t get revenge on my bully. | 谢了 老爸 可我并没复仇成功 |
| [20:33] | Sabrina’s got to think I’m an idiot. | 塞布丽娜肯定觉得我逊毙了 |
| [20:35] | It doesn’t matter if you got your ass kicked. | 虽然你被打了 但没关系 |
| [20:37] | You fought. You got the monkey off your back. | 至少你战斗过了 你摆脱了骑在你头上的恶霸 |
| [20:39] | And I wouldn’t worry about Sabrina. | 我可不会担心塞布丽娜 |
| [20:41] | Everybody knows girls love black eyes. | 地球人都知道 妹子都爱黑眼圈 |
| [20:44] | True. | 是没错 |
| [20:45] | But how does that help us, Dad? | 可这对咱们有啥帮助啊 |
| [20:46] | We’re white guys. | 我们是白人 |
| [20:47] | No, I said black eyes. | 不是 我是说黑眼圈 |
| [20:50] | Well, I’ve got one of those. | 我也有只黑眼圈了 |
| [20:53] | Looks pretty cool, actually. | 说实话 还挺酷的 |
| [20:59] | Can you close the other eye and give me a little Rocky? | 能不能闭上另外那只眼睛 给我来首摇滚 |
| [21:02] | Adrian! | 艾德里安 |
| [21:08] | Dad was right. | 老爸说的没错 |
| [21:09] | It was a great day. | 那真是美好的一天 |
| [21:10] | I impressed my girl just like I imagined. | 我另心爱女孩的对我刮目相看了 |
| [21:13] | I stood up to my bully. | 我反抗了一直欺负我的人 |
| [21:15] | And the most surprising thing, I made a new friend. | 最惊喜的是 我交到了新朋友 |
| [21:19] | Even though we didn’t need to play out | 虽然我们不用再演绎 |
| [21:21] | our revenge fantasy anymore, | 幻想中的复仇了 |
| [21:23] | that didn’t mean we couldn’t hang out now and then | 但并不意味着我们不能偶尔聚聚 |
| [21:25] | and have some fun. | 找点乐子 |