| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Oh, my God, you are the stupidest dad in the world! | 哦 天哪 你简直是世界上最蠢的老爸了! |
| [00:05] | Did the divorce kill some of your brain cells? | 离婚离得你脑子也不好用了? |
| [00:08] | I hate cleaning houses when the clients are home. | 主人在家的时候打扫屋子不好受啊 |
| [00:10] | I can’t believe you! | 你怎么回事! |
| [00:12] | Be invisible. | 别动别出声 |
| [00:13] | Why would you buy me these jeans? | 你干嘛给我买牛仔裤? |
| [00:15] | Look at these holes! | 你看这些洞! |
| [00:17] | They’re in all the wrong places! | 该露不露不该露全露! |
| [00:19] | How am I supposed to know | 我哪知道 |
| [00:21] | the right holes from the wrong holes, huh?! | 哪儿该露哪儿不该啊?! |
| [00:24] | Well, maybe that’s why mom left you! | 也许老妈就是因此离开你的! |
| [00:28] | – You don’t have the right to ignore my feelings! – La, la, la, la. | – 你不准无视我的感受! – 啦 啦 啦 啦 |
| [00:30] | – Fine, then I’ll “la-la-la” you! – La, la, la, la, | – 很好 那我也 “啦啦啦” 你! – 啦 啦 啦 啦 |
| [00:32] | – La-la-la-la! Can’t hear you! – La-la-la-la! | – 啦 啦 啦 啦! 我听不见! – 啦 啦 啦 啦! |
| [00:34] | And I’ll tell you something else, Dad! | 还有件事 老爸! |
| [00:35] | You’re not fooling anybody | 你戴着这破假发 |
| [00:37] | with that stupid toupee. | 忽悠谁呢 |
| [00:40] | She’s crazy. | 她疯了 |
| [00:41] | This is all my own hair. | 这是我自己的头发 |
| [00:42] | Ah! | 啊哈! |
| [00:45] | It’s made from my own hair. | 是用我的头发做成的 |
| [00:47] | Say, ladies, | 说件事 女士们 |
| [00:49] | I’m leaving town for a business trip, for a couple of weeks, | 我要出城几个星期 公务在身 |
| [00:52] | and I’m looking to hire a live-in | 我想雇一个住家保姆 |
| [00:54] | to look after the house and, uh, Natalie. | 来看管房子和 呃 Natalie |
| [00:56] | One of you interested in a little extra pay? | 你们谁想赚点外快吗? |
| [00:59] | No hablo ingles. | 我不会说英语 |
| [01:02] | English. | 英语啥 |
| [01:22] | I guess Hope’s not going to let us sleep in today. | 我猜Hope今天是不打算让咱睡懒觉了 |
| [01:24] | Sh…sh…sh…sh. Maybe if we just lay here quietly, | 嘘…嘘…嘘… 也许我们躺着别动 |
| [01:27] | she’ll go back to sleep. | 她会接着睡的 |
| [01:28] | Ow! God… I guess not. | 哦! 天… 不是这么回事 |
| [01:32] | Hey, Hope. | 早啊 Hope |
| [01:34] | How about just five more minutes, okay? | 再让我们睡五分钟吧 好吗? |
| [01:39] | – What happened? – Nipple, nipple, nipple! | – 怎么了? – 乳头 乳头 乳头! |
| [01:41] | – Okay. – My nipple’s caught! Uh, try pushing it! | – 嗯 – 乳头被夹住了! 把它扳起来! |
| [01:43] | Okay… | 好的… |
| [01:45] | Ooh, God… | 喔 天哪… |
| [01:46] | That’s not it! Try pulling it, try pulling it! | 这样不行! 往下扯 往下! |
| [01:51] | – Oh! – Oh! | – 哦! – 哦! |
| [01:53] | You were right. | 你说得对 |
| [01:55] | Grapes make taking walks so much more fun. | 有了葡萄 散步有趣多了 |
| [01:57] | One mushy one left, you want it? | 一个烂了还剩一个 你要吗? |
| [01:59] | All yours. | 都给你 |
| [02:11] | Ha…ha! | 哈…哈! |
| [02:13] | I did it. | 成功啦 |
| [02:15] | What’s all this? | 这是怎么回事? |
| [02:17] | Jimmy almost lost his nipple in a crib accident. | 婴儿床差点扯掉了Jimmy的乳头 |
| [02:19] | Told you those long nipples were going to | 就说那么长的乳头总有一天 |
| [02:20] | come back to haunt you one day. | 会出事的喔 |
| [02:22] | He gets that from my side of the family. | 他的乳头是遗传的我 |
| [02:24] | On the plus side, they’re also very sensitive. | 补充一句 它们也很敏感 |
| [02:27] | Oh, good to know. | 哦 不错嘛 |
| [02:28] | Anyway, the crib’s been recalled, | 话说回来 婴儿床该退休了 |
| [02:30] | along with a lot of this other old baby stuff, too. | 还有其他旧的儿童玩具 |
| [02:32] | It can’t be that dangerous. | 没那么危险吧 |
| [02:34] | Jimmy played with most of this stuff, he’s fine. | Jimmy小时候常玩的 他没事啊 |
| [02:36] | No, come to think of it, he was always getting hurt. | 不 你好好想想 他经常受伤 |
| [02:54] | My nipple, my nipple, my nipple! | 我的乳头 乳头 乳头! |
| [02:56] | Yeah, in retrospects, I can see that we should have | 现在回忆起来 我们确实该 |
| [02:59] | paid more attention to child safety. | 对孩子的安全更上心 |
| [03:02] | And now Hope has to sleep in a cardboard box | 现在Hope只能睡在纸箱子里 |
| [03:04] | and play with a teddy bear I made from a bag of rice | 玩着我用大米塞进毛茸茸的马桶套 |
| [03:05] | and a fuzzy toilet seat cover. | 做成的泰迪熊 |
| [03:07] | Come to think of it, she could choke on the rice. | 这么一想 大米也许会噎着她 |
| [03:09] | Damn it! | 该死! |
| [03:10] | We need to find a way to make some fast money! | 我们得想办法赶紧赚钱! |
| [03:11] | Jimmy, you think if we knew how to make fast money, | Jimmy 要是我们知道怎么快点弄到钱 |
| [03:13] | we would have spent our whole lives making slow money?! | 我们就不会花一辈子去一点点累积啦! |
| [03:16] | Unfortunately, I know how to make some fast money. | 其实吧 我能赚些外快 |
| [03:19] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [03:21] | Hi. I don’t know if you’re still looking for a live-in but… | 嗨 你是不是还在找住家保姆呢… |
| [03:23] | Oh, I’m so sorry. | 哦 抱歉 |
| [03:25] | We already hired somebody. | 我已经找到了 |
| [03:26] | She threw soup at me! | 她把汤浇在我身上! |
| [03:28] | – I quit. – Wha… | – 我不干了 – 咋… |
| [03:31] | You’re hired. | 你被录用了 |
| [03:37] | Burt, if we go over it one more time, | Burt 我们再说告别的话 |
| [03:38] | we’re just gonna start crying again. | 又要双双掉眼泪了 |
| [03:40] | It’s just for two weeks, till we have enough money | 两个星期而已 这样咱赚够了钱 |
| [03:43] | to buy Hope all the new stuff she needs. | 才能给Hope买新的婴儿用品 |
| [03:45] | We can make money some other way. | 还有别的路子嘛 |
| [03:47] | What if I sell my plasma | 要不我把我的血浆 |
| [03:49] | to those people that make the fancy TVs?! | 卖给那些拍电视剧的人 |
| [03:53] | I miss Virginia. | 我想Virginia了 |
| [03:55] | We all miss Virginia, Maw maw. | 我们都很想她 太婆 |
| [03:58] | That’s why we’re eating meatloaf, | 所以我们才吃烘肉卷 |
| [04:00] | which somebody thought would be great if it was made of tuna. | 不过某人居然以为烘金枪鱼能好吃 |
| [04:02] | Well, it should’ve worked. It’s the chicken from the sea. | 我以为能行的 俗称海中鸡肉嘛 |
| [04:04] | But that’s stupid, no one eats chicken meatloaf. | 你想错了 没人会吃烘鸡肉卷 |
| [04:06] | It doesn’t even make sense! | 这根本都讲不通嘛! |
| [04:10] | I’m sorry, it’s not the loaf. I just miss my wife. | 抱歉 肉卷没错 我就是想我老婆了 |
| [04:12] | Time for my bath. Been a couple of days, so | 我该洗澡了 好几天没洗 |
| [04:15] | prepare for a long one. | 准备洗个彻底 |
| [04:18] | Good luck with that. | 祝你好运 |
| [04:20] | I’ll tell you what you missed on Phineas & Ferb. | 这集 “飞哥与小佛” 演了啥 一会告诉你 |
| [04:21] | Oh, too late. I already got my finger on my nose. | 哦 不用 我手指点鼻子上了 |
| [04:23] | You can put your finger anywhere you want. | 我管你把手指放哪儿呢 |
| [04:24] | You’re still bathing Maw Maw. | 反正你去帮她洗澡 |
| [04:26] | Only reason we’re doing this is because of your baby! | 现在还不都是你女儿闹的! |
| [04:28] | I don’t blame you. I blame society | 我不怪你 我是怪社会 |
| [04:31] | which says we can’t let you swallow the same toys, | 怪现在你不能再像你爸当年一样 |
| [04:32] | which passed harmlessly through your father. | 用并无大碍的玩具啦 |
| [04:35] | Look, I’ll do all the other chores except for Maw Maw. | 听着 除了给太婆洗澡 让我干什么都行 |
| [04:38] | Every time I try to take care of here, she thinks I’m Paw Paw, | 每次给太婆洗澡 她都把我当成太公 |
| [04:40] | and she tries to kiss me! | 她还想亲我! |
| [04:41] | She did that to me all the time. | 她对我也是一样 |
| [04:42] | You just have to know how to handle it. | 你要找到诀窍去应付 |
| [04:45] | Wilfrid. Hey there, Mr. Gardener Man, | Wilfrid 你在这呢 园丁先生 |
| [04:49] | I got something better for you to do with that green thumb. | 你的大手不想摸摸其他东西嘛 |
| [04:56] | Hello, Burt! | 嘿 Burt! |
| [04:59] | Good luck with that bath. | 祝你洗得愉快 |
| [05:01] | Just so you’re prepared, the carpet does match the drapes, | 听好 地毯换上和窗帘一样的了 |
| [05:03] | and it’s a deep shag. | 都是厚绒布 |
| [05:06] | Oh, my God. | 哦 天呐 |
| [05:16] | You can stop doing my laundry! | 你别再洗我的衣服了! |
| [05:18] | I won’t need any more outfits | 我不用那么都衣服 |
| [05:19] | because I’m never leaving my house again! | 因为我再也不出门了! |
| [05:24] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了? |
| [05:26] | I have a third eye, that’s what’s wrong! | 我长了第三只眼 你看吧! |
| [05:29] | Oh, but that’s nothing. I can fix that. | 哦 没大事 我能搞定 |
| [05:34] | You can? | 你行吗? |
| [05:35] | Oh, yeah! | 哦 当然! |
| [05:41] | Okay… | 好了… |
| [05:44] | Oh, my God! It’s completely disappeared! | 哦 我的天! 它完全消失了! |
| [05:46] | Mm…hmm. I’ve always been good with makeup and stuff. | 嗯…嗯 我化妆一直很在行的哦 |
| [05:49] | My son only lets me do it to him | 我和我儿子都半醉的时候 |
| [05:50] | when we’ve both had a few beers, | 他才让我给他化妆 |
| [05:52] | and I absolutely promise never to tell anyone. | 我还得保证不说出去 |
| [05:55] | Don’t tell anyone I said that… | 你别告诉其他人… |
| [06:00] | Okay! | 好了! |
| [06:03] | You’re dry now, | 给你擦干了 |
| [06:05] | and don’t worry, that thing on your back was a raisin. | 别担心 你背上是葡萄干 |
| [06:07] | Oh, thank you. | 哦 谢谢你 |
| [06:08] | I feel better. | 我感觉好多了 |
| [06:10] | Let me just get your fiber shake ready | 等我把纤维水弄好 |
| [06:11] | and your humidifier like you like it, | 再把加湿器调成你喜欢的档 |
| [06:13] | and you are good to go! | 你就能自理了! |
| [06:15] | Just finding the switch on this thing… | 只要找到这东西的开关… |
| [06:21] | Let me pour you a drink. | 我先给你倒杯饮料吧 |
| [06:24] | Wilfrid… | Wilfrid啊… |
| [06:27] | Make that cocktail the same way I like my men. | 给我来杯像你一样带感的酒 |
| [06:32] | Stiff… | 带着倔强… |
| [06:35] | I’m not Paw Paw, I’m your great grandson, Maw Maw! | 我不是太公 我是你曾孙 太婆! |
| [06:39] | Ah! | 啊! |
| [06:42] | What are you doing in my room? | 你来我的房间干嘛? |
| [06:46] | Why am I sweating? | 我怎么出汗了? |
| [06:47] | Am I hot flashing again? | 我又潮热了吗? |
| [06:50] | When will this menopause end?! | 更年期怎么没个完的啊?! |
| [06:58] | Hey, it’s me! | 喂 是我! |
| [06:59] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [07:00] | It’s a little chilly out here. | 外面有点冷 |
| [07:02] | Didn’t want my lips to get chapped before I saw ya. | 我不想还没看见你 就把嘴唇冻裂了 |
| [07:04] | The only thing that doesn’t cover is your lips. | 你也就嘴唇没遮上 |
| [07:07] | What are you doing here anyway? | 你到这儿来干嘛呀? |
| [07:08] | I missed ya. | 我想你了 |
| [07:10] | So I thought I’d come over here and climb through your window. | 所以我想翻窗来见你 |
| [07:12] | Aw, I missed you, too. Mmm… | 啊 我也想你… 唔… |
| [07:14] | It will be just like when we were teenagers. | 这就像咱年轻时一样 |
| [07:18] | Even better, because now we don’t have to make it quick | 比那好 你不用赶回家看 “外星人” (90年代著名科幻剧) |
| [07:20] | so you could be home in time for Alf. | 咱们就不用草草了事啦 |
| [07:22] | Ooh! | 噢! |
| [07:32] | Time to wake up, Wilfrid, dear. | Wilfrid 亲爱的 该起床了 |
| [07:36] | What’s that smell? | 怎么这么香? |
| [07:38] | Breakfast, like I make every morning. | 早餐 每天早上都有的 |
| [07:41] | Come on, it’s getting cold. | 快起来 一会凉了 |
| [07:48] | French toast will be ready in a jiffy, | 法式吐司马上就好 |
| [07:51] | and then I’ll take care of the baby while you eat, | 你吃饭的时候我去照顾宝宝 |
| [07:54] | and the syrup’s heating up, just like you like it, too. | 我正按你的喜好加热你爱喝的果汁 |
| [08:03] | Well, good morning, dear. | 呃 早安 亲爱的 |
| [08:18] | I’m so glad you got this job. | 我真高兴你找了这份活 |
| [08:20] | I know, that was quite a night. | 是啊 昨晚真给力 |
| [08:22] | It actually was like being a teenager again. | 就像又回到青春期 |
| [08:24] | It was awesome. | 太美妙了 |
| [08:25] | Although I do kind of wish I was watching Alf right now. | 不过现在我还真有点想看 “外星人” |
| [08:28] | Listen, you better get out of here before Natalie wakes up. | 听着 你最好在Natalie起床前回去 |
| [08:30] | and use the window, for old time’s sake. | 像以前一样 从窗户走 |
| [08:36] | Oh! Wha…?! | 噢! 啥…?! |
| [08:37] | Whoa! What happened to the ladder? | 哇! 梯子怎么跑那儿了? |
| [08:39] | Wha… huh? | 哇… 啊? |
| [08:43] | Get… | 回来… |
| [08:48] | What the hell?! | 搞什么鬼?! |
| [08:50] | Who is that?! | 他是谁?! |
| [08:51] | Who is that?! | 他又是谁?! |
| [08:53] | Oh… | 噢… |
| [08:55] | Would you believe your dad hired a butler? | 他是你爸爸的新雇的管家 你信么? |
| [08:58] | And the butler just did it. | 管家说做就做 |
| [09:00] | Not helping. | 帮倒忙 |
| [09:06] | Put your pants on, | 穿上你的裤子 |
| [09:07] | and stop everything you were doing or were about to do. | 别想耍花招 |
| [09:10] | Burt, take this one downstairs. | Burt 带这货下楼 |
| [09:13] | Okay, Romeo, let’s go. | 罗密欧 走吧 |
| [09:15] | He walks like a penguin. | 他走路像个企鹅 |
| [09:20] | What are you doing? | 你干嘛呢? |
| [09:21] | You shouldn’t be sneaking boys into your room. | 你不该在房间里乱搞 |
| [09:24] | You do. | 你不也是吗 |
| [09:26] | Wha… he’s my husband. | 哇… 可那是我丈夫 |
| [09:28] | Well Robert’s my boyfriend, and we’re just as in love. | Robert是我男朋友 我们相爱 |
| [09:31] | Probably more so, because we’re young and hot. | 我们年轻充满激情 也许更相爱 |
| [09:34] | – Wha…. – Why are you so upset about this? | – 哇… – 你干嘛炸毛? |
| [09:35] | I thought you were going to be cool. | 我以为你很开明的 |
| [09:37] | No, no, no, I am still cool! | 不 不 不 我很开明! |
| [09:39] | I’m like, um… wha… | 我就像是 呃…喔… |
| [09:42] | Alicia Silverstone. | Alicia Silverstone (90年代美国女演员) |
| [09:43] | And Alicia would say that you are clueless | Alicia会说 少年性行为的危险 |
| [09:46] | about the risks of teenage sex. | 你们知道的太少了 |
| [09:48] | I don’t know who that is. | 我不知道那是谁 |
| [09:49] | Is that like a friend of yours or something? | 是你朋友还是? |
| [09:51] | Well, she was a very big star. | 她可是个大明星 |
| [09:53] | Look, whatever celebrity you teens are into nowadays, | 好吧 无论你们小孩子喜欢哪个明星 |
| [09:55] | they say “don’t do it!” | 他们都会说”别这么做!” |
| [09:57] | Raven Symone! | Raven Symone! (风靡全美的偶像歌手) |
| [10:00] | I don’t know! I… | 想不到了! 我… |
| [10:01] | Kathy Perry! | 比如Kathy Perry! |
| [10:05] | Science… | 科学啊… |
| [10:07] | Is there anything you can’t do? | 世上还有你做不到的事吗? |
| [10:09] | Well, I talked to Natalie. | 我和Natalie谈过了 |
| [10:12] | She says, they haven’t had sex yet. | 她说 他们没做过 |
| [10:13] | But I don’t know if I believe her. | 但我不知道该不该相信她 |
| [10:14] | I talked to Robert. They haven’t. | 我问了Robert 他也说没有 |
| [10:16] | But he’s getting close. I gave him a few tips. | 不过也快了 我给了他点窍门 |
| [10:18] | He is a slow song and a wine cooler | 他性子太慢了 |
| [10:20] | away from closing the deal. | 让他搞定能急死个人 |
| [10:22] | What is wrong with you? | 你怎么回事? |
| [10:23] | Why are you encouraging this kid? | 干嘛怂恿这些孩子? |
| [10:25] | What if Natalie gets pregnant? | Natalie怀孕了怎么办? |
| [10:27] | Well, you got pregnant. You don’t like our life? | 你就怀了 你不喜欢咱俩的生活? |
| [10:29] | No, Burt, I do! | 不 Burt 我喜欢! |
| [10:31] | Well, it’s just, as a rule, teenagers should… | 好吧 只是按常理 孩子们应该… |
| [10:33] | Son of a bitch, he’s going back up there. | 混蛋 他又来了 |
| [10:36] | Oh, yeah. I told him to wait about ten minutes. | 噢 我告诉他等十分钟再来的 |
| [10:39] | I guess he couldn’t hold off. | 我猜他憋不住了 |
| [10:40] | Which is disappointing, because most of my tips | 这可真不好 我的窍门 |
| [10:42] | were about just that. | 可都要耐心的呢 |
| [10:45] | Seriously?! | 搞毛?! |
| [10:47] | Shouldn’t you be cleaning | 你现在不该去打扫房间 |
| [10:48] | or making me a cheese quesadilla or something? | 或者给我做芝士卷饼吗? |
| [10:50] | You two, out of bed. | 你们两个 给我起来 |
| [10:51] | I’m going to show you where this can lead to. | 我要告诉你们这么做的后果 |
| [10:52] | I’m your ghost of teen pregnancy future. | 我就是个最佳的反例 |
| [10:57] | This is where we live. | 我们住这里 |
| [10:59] | You can’t see it from here, | 这儿屋顶上的洞 |
| [11:00] | but there’s Silly Putty | 是用橡皮泥堵上的 |
| [11:02] | plugging holes in the roof. | 不过这里看不到啦 |
| [11:03] | On the plus side, we have a ton | 往好处想啊 |
| [11:05] | of empty Silly Putty eggs, | 我们有一堆橡皮泥球 |
| [11:06] | which we can use for all sorts of things. | 它们用处可大了 |
| [11:12] | That’s my son pretending to smoke a pipe | 那是我儿子 假装在抽烟斗 |
| [11:14] | and getting a foot rub from his great-grandmother. | 还让太婆帮他足底按摩 |
| [11:16] | I don’t know what’s going on, | 我不知道这是怎么了 |
| [11:17] | but trust me, those are the actions | 不过相信我 早熟父母养大的孩子 |
| [11:19] | of a kid raised by teen parents. | 就会做出这种事 |
| [11:22] | A multigenerational household | 有好几代人的家庭 |
| [11:24] | leads to a strong family bond. | 通常会其乐融融嘛 |
| [11:27] | How’s that Harvey Wallbanger? | 鸡尾酒怎样? |
| [11:29] | Uh, tip-top, you little hotsy-totsy. | 啊 好得顶呱呱 |
| [11:32] | 23 Skidoo. | 就像23 Skidoo (上世纪美国著名乐队) |
| [11:37] | Okay. I got nothing for that one. | 好吧 我当什么都没看见 |
| [11:41] | Here’s what I really wanted to show you. | 其实我是想让你们看这些 |
| [11:50] | Cool! You went to Paris? | 酷! 你去巴黎了? |
| [11:51] | No. My friend, Becky Decker, | 没有 我高中的朋友 |
| [11:53] | from high school did. | Becky Decker去了 |
| [11:55] | She went to Paris with her college French class. | 她和大学法文班的同学们去的 |
| [11:57] | And this is from my two friends | 这是我两个朋友寄来的 |
| [11:59] | who went to Hungary and Turkey | 他们去了匈牙利和土耳其 |
| [12:01] | while I was at home hungry for turkey. | 而那时我却在家垂涎火鸡 |
| [12:03] | Oh, here’s our prom photo. | 看 这是毕业舞会的照片 |
| [12:06] | How many people get to look that fancy | 孩子降生的时候也没多少人 |
| [12:09] | when welcoming their son into the world? | 会穿得这么正式吧? |
| [12:10] | Look at those fresh-faced kids. | 看看我们年轻的摸样 |
| [12:12] | Take a good, hard look at that. | 好好看一看 |
| [12:15] | This is what they look like | 过了四年 |
| [12:17] | four years later. | 成了这样 |
| [12:18] | Whoa, you guys aged, | 喔 你们变老了 |
| [12:19] | like, 20 years. | 大概20岁 |
| [12:21] | Yeah, but we haven’t aged at all since then. | 但我们现在看来也没再老啊 |
| [12:23] | Explain that. | 怎么不说这个 |
| [12:24] | Look, Natalie’s maid, | 听着 Natalie的保姆 |
| [12:25] | I appreciate what you’re trying to do, | 我感激你做的这些 |
| [12:27] | but we’re in love. | 但我们相爱 |
| [12:29] | And your son seems to be hooking up | 而且你儿子好像 |
| [12:30] | with your grandmother, | 和你祖母勾搭上了 |
| [12:32] | so I don’t know why you’re worried about us. | 你竟然还在担心我们 |
| [12:34] | We’re staying together, and that’s that. | 我们在一起 就这样了 |
| [12:35] | – Yes! – No, we’re not. | – 就是这样! – 不 不行 |
| [12:37] | I’m sorry, Robert. | 抱歉 Robert |
| [12:39] | I do love you, but there’s | 我很爱你 但这辈子 |
| [12:40] | too much I want to do in my life. | 我还有很多事想做 |
| [12:42] | I… I want | 我… 我想 |
| [12:43] | to try crepes in Paris | 去巴黎吃可丽饼 |
| [12:44] | and gelato in Rome. | 去罗马吃冰激凌 |
| [12:47] | I want to trip my face off in Amsterdam! | 去阿姆斯特丹好好玩一圈! |
| [12:49] | This is all too much for me. | 我受不了这种未来 |
| [12:51] | I think we should stop seeing each other. | 我想 我们还是分手吧 |
| [13:08] | Love killer. | 爱情杀手 |
| [13:10] | You killed love. | 谋杀爱情 |
| [13:12] | Here’s your high-ball, darling. | 亲爱的 你的威士忌汽水 |
| [13:14] | Hope you don’t mind pot roast tonight. | 今晚吃炖牛肉 希望你满意 |
| [13:17] | Horsefeathers, you dumb Dora. | 别胡说 傻女人 |
| [13:19] | You know I think your cooking is swell. | 我知道你厨艺一流 |
| [13:21] | Oh, Wilfrid. | 我真感动 Wilfrid |
| [13:22] | Mmm… | 唔… |
| [13:30] | Oh, hey. | 噢 嗨 |
| [13:32] | Jimmy, you know I love your quirky family, | Jimmy 我喜欢你的怪家庭 |
| [13:34] | but you nailing your great-grandmother | 但你和太婆的行为 |
| [13:36] | is going to be a real deal breaker. | 让我觉得无法接受 |
| [13:38] | Maw Maw’s just in one of her delusions. | 太婆在她的幻觉里呢 |
| [13:39] | She thinks I’m Wilfrid. | 她把我当成Wilfrid |
| [13:41] | But she’s easier to take care of this way. | 她这样我比较好照顾 |
| [13:42] | She actually takes care of me. | 她还能照顾我 |
| [13:44] | And if things go too far, I can stop her | 如果太离谱了 我会阻止她的 |
| [13:46] | just by spraying her with this bottle. | 用这瓶水喷她 |
| [13:47] | So kissing her on the lips wasn’t going too far? | 这么说 和她接吻不离谱? |
| [13:49] | Well, first of all, my mouth was closed. | 好吧 先说 我闭着嘴呢 |
| [13:50] | And second, can you smell that pot roast? | 然后 你闻到炖牛肉味了吗? |
| [13:52] | Come on in. | 快来吧 |
| [13:55] | Dinner’s… | 晚饭… |
| [13:57] | What the hell is your sister, Mabel, doing here? | 你姐姐Mabel怎么来了? |
| [13:59] | Oh, gee willikers, honey buns. | 哦 天啊 宝贝儿 |
| [14:01] | Your pot roast is so swell, I invited her for dinner, see? | 你做的炖牛肉太好吃了 所以我请她来吃晚餐 好吗? |
| [14:05] | How could you invite her today on this special occasion? | 今天这么特殊的日子 你怎么能这样? |
| [14:08] | What special occasion? | 什么特殊日子? |
| [14:10] | Unbelievable. | 真不敢相信 |
| [14:13] | Every year! | 每年都这样! |
| [14:14] | Get the spray bottle! | 快拿喷壶! |
| [14:17] | You always forget our anniversary every year! | 你每年都忘记我们的结婚纪念日! |
| [14:20] | Sabrina! | Sabrina 救我! |
| [14:21] | Why do I always get my hopes up | 可为什么我每年都 |
| [14:23] | every year?! | 傻傻的等?! |
| [14:24] | Squirt her! Squirt her! | 快喷她! 喷她! |
| [14:27] | You know what? I don’t think I should. | 其实吧 我觉得不应该喷她 |
| [14:28] | Cause she just really looks like she’s hurting right now. | 因为她现在看起来真的很难过 |
| [14:30] | She’s really hurting me! | 我才难过呢! |
| [14:32] | That’s who she’s hurting! | 受伤的是我好不好! |
| [14:37] | – Do you still believe in love, Robert? – Oh, my God! | – 你还相信爱情吗 Robert? – 哦 天啊! |
| [14:40] | Oh, it’s okay! It’s okay, Robert! It’s Burt. | 没事! 没事 Robert! 我是Burt啊 |
| [14:42] | It’s your ex-girlfriend’s temporary maid’s husband. | 我是你前女友家临时女佣的老公啊 |
| [14:44] | I think I have an idea | 我知道怎样 |
| [14:46] | how we can get Natalie back. | 能挽回Natalie的心 |
| [14:49] | Do you still believe in love? | 你还相信爱情吗? |
| [15:02] | You brought us to your high school sex hideout? | 你带我们来你们高中的 “性事根据地” ? |
| [15:05] | You know, it sounds cheap when you say it like that. | 你这么叫听起来很下流 |
| [15:07] | Me and Virginia called it the “Stabbin’ Cabin.” | 我和Virginia都叫它 “激情小屋” |
| [15:10] | Which sounds cheap, too, now, | 现在听起来也不高端 |
| [15:12] | but back then, we thought it was poetic. | 不过当时 我们觉得还挺有诗意 |
| [15:14] | I brought you guys here ’cause my wife | 把你们带到这来是因为 |
| [15:15] | showed you what our lives were like, | 我老婆给你们展示了我们的生活现状 |
| [15:17] | but she left out some parts. | 但她没说全 |
| [15:23] | These ticket stubs are from our first movie date: | 这是我们第一次看电影的票根 |
| [15:26] | Beverly Hills Cop II. | 是”比弗利山警探2″ |
| [15:29] | This kernel of popcorn fell down Virginia’s cleavage. | 这是从Virginia乳沟里掉出来的爆米花粒 |
| [15:32] | Just when you think boobs can’t get any better… | 你要是觉得奶子平淡无味… |
| [15:34] | butter flavored. | 还有黄油味哟 |
| [15:37] | Ah, this is the gum wrapper necklace | 这是用泡泡糖包装纸做的项链 |
| [15:39] | that Virginia made me at pregnant girl camp. | Virginia在早育少女夏令营给我做的 |
| [15:44] | Ah, these are the pretend magazine covers | 啊 这些是我们在冒险主题公园 |
| [15:46] | we had made at Four Flags: Good Adventure Theme Park. | 做的两本杂志封面 |
| [15:48] | How is that place? | 那里好玩吗? |
| [15:50] | It’s almost awesome. | 还真不赖 |
| [15:52] | Look. | 听着 |
| [15:53] | Virginia and I were perfect for each other. | 我和Virginia是命中注定 |
| [15:56] | Waiting wouldn’t have made us more perfect, | 等待不会让我们更加美满 |
| [15:58] | but it could have made us miss out on perfect, | 却有可能让我们错过对的人 |
| [16:00] | and I just don’t want to see you guys miss out | 我也不希望看到 |
| [16:02] | on your chance to have the perfect person, either. | 你们两个错过彼此 |
| [16:05] | Oh, my God, he’s right. | 噢 天啊 他说的没错 |
| [16:07] | We are perfect for each other. | 我们是天生一对 |
| [16:10] | The world might be against you sometimes, | 就算全世界都反对 |
| [16:11] | but you’ll always have an ally in me. | 我也会一如既往地支持你们 |
| [16:14] | Natalie! | Natalie啊! |
| [16:15] | Natalie! | Natalie啊! |
| [16:17] | I was never here! Remember! | 别跟她说我来过! 记住 没来过! |
| [16:25] | Natalie? | Natalie呢? |
| [16:28] | Oh, my God. | 噢 我的天啊 |
| [16:30] | She’s coming in! | 她要进来了! |
| [16:31] | Robert, hide! | Robert 快藏起来! |
| [16:33] | She’s going to kill you! | 她会杀了你的! |
| [16:43] | Natalie, I know you’re in here. | Natalie 我知道你在这儿 |
| [16:49] | How’d you find me? | 你是怎么找到我的? |
| [16:51] | I called your dad. | 我打电话给你爸 |
| [16:52] | He uses GPS to track your phone. | 他用定位系统追踪你的手机 |
| [16:55] | That put me in this general area, | 你就在这一片附近 |
| [16:57] | and then it didn’t take the Mentalist to figure out | 用脚趾头想也知道 |
| [16:59] | you were in the Stabbin’ Cabin. | 你肯定在”激情小屋” |
| [17:00] | Where’s Robert? | Robert在哪儿? |
| [17:02] | He’s not here yet. | 他还没来呢 |
| [17:03] | You got to get out of here before you ruin everything. | 在把事情搞砸前 你还是赶紧走吧 |
| [17:05] | I’d rather ruin tonight | 我宁愿把今晚这事儿搅黄 |
| [17:07] | than let you ruin your whole life. | 也不能让你毁了自己的一辈子 |
| [17:08] | Look, Robert and I are in love. | 听着 Robert和我是真心相爱 |
| [17:10] | We’re meant to be, | 我们注定要在一起 |
| [17:12] | just like you and Burt, but with better grades. | 就跟你和Burt一样 不过我们爱得更深 |
| [17:14] | Fine, but that doesn’t mean you have to sleep together. | 好吧 那你也不用跟他上床啊 |
| [17:17] | But we want to. | 可我们都很想啊 |
| [17:18] | We’re ready. | 我们都准备好了 |
| [17:20] | You’re ready to have a baby? | 你们准备好要孩子了? |
| [17:21] | We know how to use condoms. | 我们知道怎么用套套 |
| [17:23] | We put them on cucumbers in health class. | 生理课上我们还用黄瓜练习过 |
| [17:25] | First of all, putting them on cucumbers | 首先 你要是以为老二像黄瓜一样硬 |
| [17:27] | is just setting yourself up for disappointment. | 那就注定要失望了 |
| [17:29] | And besides, | 还有 |
| [17:31] | condoms don’t always work, | 套套也有不管用的时候 |
| [17:34] | and guys don’t always stay. | 而且男人大多朝三暮四 |
| [17:37] | Burt did, and Robert would, too. | 可Burt没有啊 Robert也不会的 |
| [17:39] | And we could have a happy family just like you two. | 我们也可以像你们一样幸福 |
| [17:42] | Yeah, fine. Maybe you will. | 好吧 你可能会幸福 |
| [17:44] | Maybe you will be just like me. | 可能会像我一样 |
| [17:46] | Maybe there’ll be an accident, | 说不定你会意外怀孕 |
| [17:47] | and maybe Robert will do the right thing | 也许Robert会负责到底 |
| [17:50] | and you’ll have a family and be happy just like me. | 和你建立家庭 从此过上幸福的日子 |
| [17:53] | But… | 可是… |
| [17:56] | you’ll always wonder why he stayed. | 到那时你总会想 他为什么留下 |
| [18:00] | Was it for you or the baby? | 是为孩子还是为你? |
| [18:04] | You’ll always wonder if you kept him from something, | 你也总会担心 是不是自己 |
| [18:06] | from being something more. | 耽误了他的大好前程 |
| [18:08] | Let’s be honest… probably not a lot more, | 虽说… 他也没啥大好前程 |
| [18:10] | but something. | 但还是耽误了 |
| [18:12] | Did he stay because he wanted to | 他留下是心甘情愿 |
| [18:15] | or because he had to? | 还是迫不得已? |
| [18:17] | I poked a hole in the condom. | 我在套套上扎了个洞 |
| [18:19] | What? | 什么? |
| [18:21] | Not your condom; our condom. | 不是你的 是我们的套套 |
| [18:24] | Burt, what are you…? | Burt 你在说什么…? |
| [18:25] | Look, Virginia, from the moment I met you, | 听着 Virgina 从见到你的那一刻起 |
| [18:27] | I knew you were the one. | 我知道你就是对的人 |
| [18:28] | I also knew you were way, way out of my league. | 我还知道 自己完全配不上你 |
| [18:31] | I was not. | 哪有啊 |
| [18:32] | I was in a back brace. | 我那时还戴着背撑呢 |
| [18:34] | That was a bonus. | 那更棒 |
| [18:36] | It was like you were hot and bionic. | 背撑让你既性感又有学生气 |
| [18:38] | Plus smart and funny. | 你还那么聪明风趣 |
| [18:40] | I knew my only shot | 我知道要得到你 |
| [18:41] | was to get you pregnant so you had to marry me | 只能在你没意识到自己的优秀前 |
| [18:44] | before you figured out you could do better. | 让你怀孕然后嫁给我 |
| [18:45] | So, your plan for a lifetime of happiness | 你是说 你幸福一生的计划 |
| [18:48] | was to trick me into getting pregnant at 15 years old? | 就是把15岁的我的肚子搞大? |
| [18:51] | That was the best I could come up with. | 那是我能想到的最好办法啦 |
| [18:54] | Well… | 好吧… |
| [18:56] | it’s hard to argue with your results. | 结局还算美满 就不跟你计较了 |
| [19:14] | I’m confused. | 这把我搞糊涂了 |
| [19:15] | Does that mean we’re supposed to have sex | 那我们是应该做爱 |
| [19:17] | or not have sex or… | 还是不做… |
| [19:19] | Do whatever you want. We don’t care. | 你们随便啦 我们才不管 |
| [19:20] | It was never really about you. | 本来就没你们什么事 |
| [19:26] | # I’ll never stop loving you # | # 我对你的爱永不停息 # |
| [19:28] | Oh… look. | 噢… 看啊 |
| [19:32] | # Whatever else I may do # | # 除了爱你我还能做什么 # |
| [19:37] | Happy anniversary, darling. | 结婚纪念日快乐 亲爱的 |
| [19:39] | It’s beautiful. | 太漂亮了 |
| [19:41] | # My love for you # | # 我对你的爱 # |
| [19:44] | # Will live till time itself # | # 亘古不变 # |
| [19:48] | # Is through # | # 直到时间的尽头 # |
| [19:52] | # I’ll never stop wanting you… # | # 我要你陪在我身边… # |
| [19:53] | What the hell is going on? | 这是怎么回事? |
| [19:55] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [19:56] | We’re just giving Maw Maw a special memory. | 我们想给太婆留下一段难忘的回忆 |
| [19:59] | It’s cool. I’m fine with it. | 没关系 我不介意 |
| [20:02] | He’s allowed to touch anything above the waist, | 我跟他说好了 腰部以上随便摸 |
| [20:03] | and her boobs are so low, | 太婆的胸都不知下垂到哪去了 |
| [20:04] | that doesn’t really allow for much of anything. | 所以他也摸不到什么 |
| [20:08] | When it comes to wives, | 作为人妻 |
| [20:10] | Barbara June, you are the cat’s meow. | Barbara June 你像猫咪一样魅惑诱人 |
| [20:14] | Speaking of things that purr, | 说到呜呜叫 |
| [20:17] | I have a gift you can open. | 我这有个礼物等你开启 |
| [20:20] | Here’s a hint. | 来点提示 |
| [20:22] | It’s my legs. | 那就是 我的双腿 |
| [20:24] | Okay, we’re done. | 够了 到此为止 |
| [20:30] | Why am I wet? | 我怎么满脸湿漉漉的? |
| [20:33] | And why are there decorations out here? | 这里为什么有彩灯装饰? |
| [20:36] | Did I drown in the tub, and this is my wake? | 是不是我在浴缸里淹死 然后投胎转世啦? |
| [20:42] | I’m here. I’m here. | 鬼来了 鬼来了 |
| [20:45] | You’re not dead, Maw Maw. | 你还没死 太婆 |
| [20:48] | Damn it, this life is taking forever. | 真是的 我怎么还没歇菜 |
| [20:50] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [20:52] | This is Wilfrid’s and my song. | 这是我和Wilfrid最爱的那首歌 |
| [20:54] | – Really? I didn’t know that. -Oh, yeah. | – 真的吗?我还不知道呢 – 噢 没错 |
| [20:56] | We danced to this song years ago | 很多年前的一个结婚纪念日 |
| [20:58] | on a wonderful anniversary. | 我们伴着这首歌翩翩起舞 |
| [21:00] | It’s the year Wilfrid gave me this necklace. | 那年Wilfrid送了我这条项链 |
| [21:03] | It’s my favorite memory. | 这是我最美好的回忆 |
| [21:06] | That’s why I’ll never take it off. | 所以我从不摘下这项链 |
| [21:13] | Well, I guess I won’t be getting that necklace back. | 估计那条项链我再也拿不回来了 |
| [21:15] | I will get you a new necklace on our anniversary, | 我们的纪念日时我再送你条新的 |
| [21:18] | which I promise to never forget. | 咱的纪念日 我永远也不会忘 |
| [21:23] | You taste like your great-grandmother. | 你的嘴上有股太婆的味道 |
| [21:25] | I’ll brush my teeth. | 我去刷牙 |