| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:12] | Give me that thing. | 把那给我 |
| [00:14] | – You color like a mental patient. – Maw Maw. | – 你画得像个神经病似的 – 太婆 |
| [00:16] | If you continue to embarrass us, | 你再嚷嚷丢我们的脸 |
| [00:17] | we’re going to start dropping you off | 我们就把你丢回 |
| [00:19] | at the Korean church again. | 那间韩国教堂 |
| [00:20] | She’s a terrible drawer. | 她画得太糟糕了 |
| [00:22] | She made Joseph all blue. | 约瑟被她涂成蓝色 |
| [00:23] | And Mary’s got furry monkey arms. | 圣母玛丽画上了个毛茸茸的猴子手臂 |
| [00:26] | So what? | 那又怎样? |
| [00:27] | Maybe she had hairy arms. | 也许她手臂本来就毛茸茸的 |
| [00:28] | It’s probably why she stayed a virgin. | 她这个老处女 |
| [00:30] | Good morning. | 早上好 |
| [00:32] | I’d like to mention | 我在这想说 |
| [00:33] | that one of my Heaven’s Helpers volunteers | 我们”志愿天使”志愿者中的一位 |
| [00:36] | did a wonderful job on beautifying | 为美化我们教堂景观 |
| [00:38] | the church’s landscaping. | 做出了杰出的贡献 |
| [00:39] | Here it comes. | 好戏来了 |
| [00:40] | Does this face look humble? | 我看起来谦虚吗? |
| [00:42] | It’s all a part of the Spring into Spring campaign | 这些都属于我组织的 |
| [00:44] | that I organized. | “走进春天”活动 |
| [00:46] | I’d like to recognize the parishioner | 现在我向你们介绍这一位 |
| [00:48] | who donated his time and talent for this project. | 为此次活动奉献诸多的教友 |
| [00:53] | But… | 但… |
| [00:55] | he doesn’t do it for the recognition. | 他是默默地奉献 |
| [00:57] | None of my volunteers here do. | 志愿者们都不是为了留名 |
| [00:59] | They follow the example that I set. | 他们是追随着我 |
| [01:02] | I don’t do it for the glory. | 我奉献不为荣誉 |
| [01:04] | I do it for the Lordy. | 只为至高无上的上帝 |
| [01:11] | No. It’s not about me, | 不 不要为我鼓掌 |
| [01:13] | but thank you. | 感谢大家 |
| [01:14] | So you’ll be happy to know | 好消息是 |
| [01:17] | that I will run for another term | 我会继续竞选下一届 |
| [01:19] | as chairperson of Heaven’s Helpers. | “志愿天使”组织的主席 |
| [01:21] | I’ll formally accept my nomination | 下周二 圣经赞歌会举行之后 |
| [01:23] | next Tuesday, right after Bible hymn karaoke. | 我将正式接受提名 |
| [01:31] | Are those pesos? | 这是比索? (西班牙的旧本位货币) |
| [01:33] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [01:34] | I won a bet from a gal at work. It’s all she had. | 我上班时从一姑娘那打赌赢的 她就剩这个了 |
| [01:38] | Don’t worry… If Jesus turned water into wine, | 放心吧… 如果耶稣能把水变成酒的话 |
| [01:40] | I’m sure he can turn pesos into dollars. | 那把比索变成美元应该是小菜一碟 |
| [01:45] | All right, Jimmy, come on. | 好了 Jimmy 快点 |
| [01:47] | It’s time to put on your costume. | 快去穿上你的戏服 |
| [01:49] | Costume for what? | 什么戏服? |
| [01:50] | You’ll think it’s weird, | 听着很奇怪吧 |
| [01:52] | but ever since we stopped getting the Sunday paper, | 自从我们把周日的报纸退订了之后 |
| [01:53] | we started making up and acting out our own funnies. | 我们就自己找些喜剧来演 |
| [01:57] | I don’t really feel like doing the comics this morning. | 我今早不想演了 |
| [02:01] | Oh, come on, Burt. | 别这样 Burt |
| [02:02] | You know I’ve been waiting all week for this. | 我可期待了整整一星期呢 |
| [02:04] | Yeah, I was waiting all week for a little | 但我也等了一星期 |
| [02:06] | acknowledgment for my church volunteer work. | 就等着我的志愿工作被表扬呢 |
| [02:07] | I was even practicing all this. | 我还练了好久这个动作 |
| [02:10] | Sarah Louise is running for reelection. | Sarah Louise准备连任 |
| [02:12] | You should run against her. | 那你也去竞选吧 |
| [02:13] | Then, when you’re in charge, you can make sure | 你主事之后 大家就都能 |
| [02:15] | everybody gets the credit they deserve. | 为志愿工作受到表扬了 |
| [02:17] | No way. Do not cross Sarah Louise. | 绝对不行 别跟她对着干 |
| [02:19] | You remember what happened when Ernie Sawyer | 你不记得当年Ernie Sawyer竞选时 |
| [02:21] | ran against her, and then he fell off the wagon? | 他被拖下马的事了? |
| [02:23] | She made him start drinking? | 你是说他又沾酒了? |
| [02:24] | No, she scared the horses, | 不 她去吓唬马匹 |
| [02:25] | and he flew off the back of the hayride. | 结果他就从马车上摔下来了 |
| [02:28] | He was drunk, though. | 虽然他确实喝醉了 |
| [02:29] | But they say that’s what saved him. | 但据说酒救了他一条小命 |
| [02:31] | Maybe I should run against her. | 也许我该和她争一争 |
| [02:33] | It’s time someone stood up to Sarah Louise. | 是时候反抗Sarah Louise的霸权了 |
| [02:35] | Hey. If you run against her, | 嘿 你要真竞选 |
| [02:36] | I’ll be your campaign manager. | 我就做你的竞选经理 |
| [02:37] | But only if you let me go negative, cause I just | 但我只帮你揭她的短 |
| [02:39] | don’t think we can win on your accomplishments. | 因为你也没啥光荣事迹 |
| [02:40] | You know what? | 这样吧 |
| [02:41] | I was going to start | 我这周本打算 |
| [02:43] | with Beetle Bailey this week, but I think you need | 让你们演菜鸟从军记的 但现在 |
| [02:44] | to learn a very important lesson | 咱们换美国人最喜爱的卡通 |
| [02:46] | from some of America’s favorite kids. | 给你上上课 |
| [02:47] | Just give me five minutes to rewrite this week’s script. | 给我五分钟 我改下本周的剧本 |
| [02:50] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [02:55] | Is everybody ready? | 大家都准备好了吗? |
| [02:57] | I really should be Marcie. | 我要演Marcie |
| [02:58] | I’m the only one with an actual lesbian experience. | 咱家只有我有过同性恋经验 |
| [03:01] | Maw Maw, I’ve told you before, watching Ellen | 太婆 早说了 光盯着Ellen妹子看 |
| [03:03] | isn’t considered a lesbian experience, okay? | 可不算同性恋经验 懂不? |
| [03:05] | Ready? Go. | 准备? 开始 |
| [03:06] | Come on, Charlie Brown. | 加油 Charlie Brown |
| [03:08] | Do it. You’d be everyone’s hero. | 去吧 你是咱们的英雄 |
| [03:10] | Yeah, trust me, Charlie Brown. | 相信我 Charlie Brown |
| [03:12] | You guys are right. | 你们说得对 |
| [03:13] | I think I can do it. | 我能行 |
| [03:15] | What’s the worst thing that can happen? | 再糟能糟到哪里去? |
| [03:21] | Aah! | 神啊! |
| [03:23] | 以上是花生漫画中经典桥段: 老好人charlie brown被lucy骗去踢橄榄球 次次摔倒 | |
| [03:27] | (Hope扮小鸟woodstock) | |
| [03:28] | This is exactly what will happen | 这就你和Sarah Louise |
| [03:29] | if you run against Sarah Louise. | 竞争的下场 |
| [03:39] | Good grief. | 真悲剧 |
| [03:55] | Well, I’d like to start the meeting, but, apparently, | 我也想现在开始会议 |
| [03:58] | Carl’s sister is running late to pick him up. | 但Carl的姐姐还没来接他 |
| [04:00] | Poor blind fellow. | 可怜的瞎子 |
| [04:01] | Music’s all he’s got. | 他只能弹弹琴了 |
| [04:02] | And he’s not as good | 而且他弹得也没 |
| [04:04] | as most blind musicians I’ve seen on TV. | 那些电视里的盲人音乐家好 |
| [04:06] | Hey, my ears work, okay? | 嘿 我听得见 好吗? |
| [04:08] | As does my middle finger. | 我也能竖中指 |
| [04:11] | Poor thing. | 可怜的家伙 |
| [04:13] | He’s flipping the bird to a poster of Bethlehem. | 他在向咱后面的耶稣出生地海报竖中指呢 |
| [04:16] | Thanks, Virginia. | 多谢提醒 Virginia |
| [04:18] | Oh, she’s in the crosshairs now. | 现在瞄准了 |
| [04:20] | All right. | 好了 |
| [04:22] | Everybody saw it. | 大家都看到了 |
| [04:23] | You can put it down, Carl. | 你可以收回去了 Carl |
| [04:26] | Tonight’s first order of business | 今晚的头等大事是 |
| [04:28] | will be to formally nominate candidates | 宣布”志愿天使”主席 |
| [04:30] | for chairperson of Heaven’s Helpers. | 竞选的正式提名 |
| [04:33] | Put it down, Carl. | 放下中指 Carl |
| [04:37] | – Do it. Nominate me. – No. It’s a suicide mission. | – 快去 提名我 – 不 那是送死啊 |
| [04:40] | Since I’m unopposed again… | 因为我又没有竞争对手… |
| [04:42] | I nominate Burt Chance. | 我提名Burt Chance |
| [04:46] | Thank you, Carl. | 谢谢你 Carl |
| [04:48] | Okay. | 行 |
| [04:50] | Good for you, Burt. | 好得很 Burt |
| [04:52] | In two weeks, at the next meeting, | 那么 在两周后的会议上 |
| [04:54] | both of us will make brief speeches, | 我们双方都得做一段简短的演讲 |
| [04:57] | and all members in attendance will vote. | 由在场的各位来投票 |
| [04:59] | Sorry I’m late. | 抱歉 我来晚了 |
| [05:01] | My mouthwash gave my Breathalyzer | 车子的酒精测试仪对我的漱口水 |
| [05:03] | a false reading, so my car wouldn’t start. | 一直报警 结果一直发动不起来 |
| [05:06] | Bye, Carl. | 再见 Carl |
| [05:08] | He’s good. | 他真厉害 |
| [05:10] | As some of you may have heard, | 你们应该也听说了 |
| [05:13] | Carl’s sister Gwen’s moving away. | Carl的姐姐Gwen要走了 |
| [05:15] | Rehab. | 去戒酒所 |
| [05:17] | Luckily for him, I stepped in. | 好消息是 我会帮他 |
| [05:19] | Next week, Heaven’s Helpers will present Carl | 下周 “志愿天使”将会赠与Carl |
| [05:22] | with his very own guide animal. | 一只导盲宠物 |
| [05:23] | Isn’t that wonderful? | 是不是很好? |
| [05:26] | We do, however, need someone | 但是呢 送给Carl之前 |
| [05:28] | to care for the animal until the presentation. | 需要志愿者来照顾它 |
| [05:30] | No. | 别 |
| [05:32] | I spend half the week vacuuming up Maw Maw’s hair. | 清理太婆的头发够我忙半天的了 |
| [05:34] | I’m not adding an animal. | 宠物我才不管 |
| [05:35] | I would do it myself, but… | 虽然我自己可以照顾 但是… |
| [05:38] | since I’m sure Burt would like to prove | 我觉得Burt需要这次机会 |
| [05:40] | to everyone that he can be in charge… | 来证明他的能力… |
| [05:43] | I would really love to help out here, | 我们很想帮忙 |
| [05:46] | but, uh, unfortunately, I am allergic to dogs. | 但可惜 我对狗过敏 |
| [05:49] | Well, praise the Lord. | 那就感谢上帝吧 |
| [05:51] | Carl is, too. | Carl也过敏 |
| [05:53] | 导盲猪 | |
| [05:54] | I hate that pig. | 我讨厌那头猪 |
| [05:55] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [05:57] | We’re talking about Sarah Louise, right? | 你是说Sarah Louise 对吧? |
| [05:58] | Cause this one seems pretty nice. | 这只还蛮可爱的啊 |
| [06:05] | Mom, you should’ve been on that walk. | 老妈 你真该一起来散步的 |
| [06:07] | Hope loves having a pet. | Hope特别喜欢宠物 |
| [06:09] | Maw Maw put her on Mr. Curly Tail’s back, | 太婆让她骑在卷尾巴先生上 |
| [06:11] | and it… it looked just like a little rodeo. | 这… 就像斗牛表演一样 |
| [06:13] | I mean, you know, if cowboys | 你懂的 不过斗牛的时候 |
| [06:14] | in rodeos had giant old ladies | 牛仔身后没有老太婆 |
| [06:16] | behind them holding them on. | 扶着他们 |
| [06:19] | You had to be there. | 你没看可惜了 |
| [06:20] | Burt, this isn’t going to be as easy as you think. | Burt 养宠物可没你想得那么简单 |
| [06:23] | This thing is full | 门道可多着呢 |
| [06:25] | of special care instructions. | 护理指导书上写着呢 |
| [06:27] | Purified water? | 喂纯净水? |
| [06:29] | Pesticide-free fruits and vegetables? | 无农药的水果和蔬菜? |
| [06:32] | You think you’re better than us, don’t you? | 你还真把自己当回事啊? |
| [06:35] | Hey, guys. | 嘿 各位 |
| [06:37] | I just heard that one of your neighbors got a pig. | 我听说你们一邻居养了一只猪 |
| [06:39] | And now you’re not the trashiest people on the… | 你们再不是这条街上最卢瑟的一家啦… |
| [06:44] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [06:45] | In just five days, | 再过五天 |
| [06:46] | they’re going to present that to Carl. | 他们就把这货送给Carl |
| [06:48] | We spent longer than that | 为了赢水上摩托 |
| [06:49] | trying to win a “hands on a Jet Ski” contest. | 我们憋得比这久多了呢 |
| [06:51] | And we would have won, too, if they hadn’t have let | 而且要不是有个人做了结肠瘘袋术 (人造肛门) |
| [06:53] | that jerk with the colostomy bag enter. | 来掺和 我们肯定赢了 |
| [06:54] | Plus, it’ll give me great stuff to brag about | 再说 这就是我两周后的竞选演讲上 |
| [06:56] | in two weeks when I make my big speech. | 吹嘘的资本啊 |
| [06:57] | Burt, you know how ruthless Sarah Louise is. | Burt 你知道Sarah Louise手段毒辣 |
| [07:02] | And you’re not the best public speaker. | 你演讲也没什么水准 |
| [07:05] | I just don’t want to see you get hurt. | 我是不想看你伤心 |
| [07:08] | Hey, I could… I could help you with your speech if you want. | 嗨… 我能帮你准备演讲 |
| [07:10] | I… I learned a trick in my public speaking course. | 我… 我在公开演讲课上学了几招 |
| [07:12] | If it’s the old classic “picture everybody naked,” | 如果你是说”脑补台下都是裸体”这种技巧 |
| [07:13] | you can forget about it. | 那还是算了吧 |
| [07:15] | Burt always pictures everybody naked. | Burt成天脑补别人的裸体 |
| [07:16] | We both do. | 我也是 |
| [07:17] | Some people have Cinemax. | 有人看色情电视节目 |
| [07:19] | We have our imagination. | 我们脑补就行了 |
| [07:21] | Living with a pig in your house might sound crazy, | 家里养一只猪 听起来很怪异 |
| [07:24] | but we all fell in love with Mr. Curly Tail. | 但我们都爱卷尾巴先生 |
| [07:27] | Except Mom. | 当然 除了老妈 |
| [07:32] | 卷尾巴先生的食物 | |
| [07:38] | Hey. Twins. | 瞧 双胞胎啊 |
| [07:47] | He was cold. | 他很冷 |
| [07:48] | I was afraid he’d get the swine flu. | 我怕他得猪流感 |
| [07:50] | What…? | 什么…? |
| [07:52] | Shh. | 嘘 |
| [08:00] | He never saw Babe. | 他没看过”猪宝宝”电影 |
| [08:06] | Two out of three, Mr. Curly Tail. | 三局两胜哦 卷尾巴先生 |
| [08:12] | No…! | 别…! |
| [08:17] | Hey, Virginia. | 嗨 Virginia |
| [08:18] | Check this out. | 快看 |
| [08:22] | Curly, newspaper. | 卷尾巴 去拿报纸 |
| [08:24] | Burt, we don’t get the newspaper. | Burt 我们没订报纸 |
| [08:26] | Oh, I know. He steals it from the neighbors. | 我知道 他从邻居那儿偷的 |
| [08:28] | Listen, I’m going down to the grocery store. | 我去下杂货店 |
| [08:30] | Sabrina’s going to help me with my very funny speech. | Sabrina在帮我准备一段幽默的演讲 |
| [08:33] | There’s no Polish people in our church, right? | 我们教区没有波兰人 对吧? |
| [08:35] | You better be taking that pig with you. | 你最好把猪带上 |
| [08:36] | I don’t want to be alone with him. | 我不要单独和他待着 |
| [08:37] | You’re not alone. Maw Maw’s right here. | 太婆在这里陪你 你不会孤单的 |
| [08:39] | Unless she’s dead. | 除非她死了 |
| [08:41] | Nah. Alive. | 啊 还活着 |
| [08:42] | Leave him if you want. | 不带也行 |
| [08:43] | That stupid pig is on his own. | 但我可不管它 |
| [08:44] | I’m watching this TV show | 电视上正在帮 |
| [08:46] | where they find wedding dresses | 身材不完美的女人 |
| [08:47] | that look good on oddly-shaped women. | 找好看的婚纱 |
| [08:49] | I think today’s got conjoined twins. | 今天是一对连体双胞胎 |
| [08:51] | Oh, that is a lucky groom. | 那新郎可真幸运 |
| [08:57] | – Come on, you got to love this guy. – Ugh. | – 别这样 你会喜欢它的 – 呃 |
| [09:01] | Today, Beth tries on gown number seven | 今天 Beth穿上了七号礼服 |
| [09:04] | while her sister Tanya still can’t find a bridesmaid’s dress | 但她妹Tanya还没找到 |
| [09:07] | that doesn’t make her hip look big. | 不显屁股大的伴娘礼服 |
| [09:08] | You hang in there, Tanya. | 坚持住 Tanya |
| [09:10] | Beth found her Mr. Right. | Beth找到了白马王子 |
| [09:11] | You’ll find your Mr. Left. | 你也会找到唐僧的 |
| [09:31] | Holy crap, pig. | 天啊 你真棒 |
| [09:33] | You saved my life. | 你救了我 |
| [09:36] | You saved my life, pig. | 小猪啊 你救了我一命 |
| [09:39] | Oh, my God. | 噢 天呐 |
| [09:41] | You’re like Lassie without all the attitude. | 你就像猪版的”灵犬莱西” |
| [09:44] | Not even my own grandmother would wake up to save me. | 我自己的祖母都不会爬起来救我 |
| [09:48] | I was awake. | 我醒着呢 |
| [09:49] | Thought you were trying to trick me | 我以为你是为了抢我的好椅子 |
| [09:50] | into giving up the good chair. | 而耍我的呢 |
| [09:52] | This couch is way more comfortable than that chair. | 拜托 这沙发比椅子舒服多了 |
| [09:54] | Oh. | 噢 |
| [10:02] | In conclusion, fellow parishioners, | 总之 教友们 |
| [10:05] | I would like to be chairperson of Heaven’s Helpers | 我愿意成为”志愿天使”的主席 |
| [10:09] | so that you can get | 这样 |
| [10:10] | the credit that you deserve | 我不会和大家抢功 |
| [10:13] | without making everything about me. | 志愿者个人都将被表扬 |
| [10:15] | You’re still kind of doing this thing with your hands. | 你两只手还是乱动 |
| [10:17] | – Aah! Still? – Burt! | – 啊! 还是? – Burt! |
| [10:18] | Burt, you were right about Mr. Curly Tail. | Burt 幸好你把卷尾巴先生留家里 |
| [10:21] | He is a genius. | 它是个天才 |
| [10:23] | I was choking, and he saved my life. | 我刚刚被噎住了 是他救了我 |
| [10:26] | I told you, he’s a genius. | 早告诉过你他是天才了 |
| [10:27] | I decided to come and get Mr. Curly Tail | 我来给卷尾巴先生买点 |
| [10:28] | some of those organic apples you guys sell. | 你们这的有机苹果 |
| [10:30] | We stopped selling organic stuff. | 我们不卖有机食品了 |
| [10:31] | See, the produce is really close to the restroom, | 你看 生产间就在厕所旁边 |
| [10:33] | and without pesticides, | 虽然不用杀虫剂 |
| [10:35] | they just can’t handle the air fresheners. | 但还是有空气清新剂 |
| [10:36] | However, our public restrooms | 但是 我们的洗手间 |
| [10:38] | were voted the best-smelling in Natesville. | 被票选为镇上最好闻的厕所 |
| [10:39] | Fine. Then I guess I’ll go out to that hippie farm | 好吧 那我还是去嬉皮农场 |
| [10:42] | and get some real organic apples. | 搞些真正的有机苹果吧 |
| [10:43] | Hey. How’d that, uh, | 嘿 那对连体双胞胎 |
| [10:44] | conjoined twin’s wedding work out? | 的婚礼怎么样了? |
| [10:46] | Wild. At that part in the wedding | 特狗血 婚礼上 |
| [10:47] | when they ask if anyone has any objections, | 问到有没有人反对的时候 |
| [10:49] | the bride’s conjoined twin admitted | 新娘的妹妹承认 |
| [10:51] | that she had slept with the groom. | 她和新郎滚床单了 |
| [10:55] | I admit it, you were right, and I was wrong. | 我承认 你是对的 我错了 |
| [10:59] | That really is one magnificent pig. | 那真是一只伟大的猪 |
| [11:01] | And you know what? | 而且 |
| [11:02] | I’m gonna let him sleep in the bed tonight. | 今晚我准备让他上床睡 |
| [11:04] | Something smells good. | 好香啊 |
| [11:09] | Whoa. | 哇 |
| [11:19] | Maw Maw. | 太婆 |
| [11:21] | Please tell us you didn’t butcher Mr. Curly Tail. | 别告诉我你把卷尾巴先生给宰了 |
| [11:23] | Of course, I did. | 我当然宰了 |
| [11:25] | And if this is going to become a regular thing, | 如果你们经常带猪回来 |
| [11:27] | we’re gonna need a bigger freezer, sharper knives and a much better mup, | 我们得换个更大的冰箱 更快的刀和绞肉机了 |
| [11:39] | I can’t eat him. | 我不能吃它 |
| [11:40] | He was a friend. | 它是我的朋友 |
| [11:41] | Oh, get off it. | 算了吧 |
| [11:43] | I should’ve just told you it ran away, | 早知道就告诉你它跑了 |
| [11:45] | and I bought this at a store. | 这肉是我从商店买的 |
| [11:47] | It worked for Jimmy’s pet rabbits. | 就跟Jimmy养的兔子一样 |
| [11:49] | You killed Floppy and Pom-Pom? | 你杀了Floppy和Pom-Pom? |
| [11:51] | And you ate ’em. | 你也吃了 |
| [11:53] | Those rabbits were stupid and worthless. | 兔子又蠢又不值钱 |
| [11:54] | This pig we’re eating was a hero. | 可这只猪是个英雄 |
| [11:56] | He saved my life, and I couldn’t save his. | 他救了我 我却没救下它 |
| [12:01] | He was a damn good pig. He makes a damn good chop. | 真是只好猪 连排骨也这么好吃 |
| [12:03] | – Burt. – Virginia, eat him or he would’ve died in vain. | – Burt – Virginia 吃吧 否则他就白死了 |
| [12:06] | He would’ve wanted it this way. | 让他死得其所吧 |
| [12:08] | I’m sure Maw Maw made it quick and painless. | 太婆一定下刀很快 他也没有痛苦 |
| [12:09] | No, it was a hell of a struggle. | 不 那真是一场激烈的搏斗 |
| [12:12] | It isn’t easy trying to cut up a pig with a pizza cutter. | 用披萨刀去切猪可不容易 |
| [12:17] | Oh, God. Okay. | 噢天呐 好吧 |
| [12:19] | That did it for me. | 恶心死我了 |
| [12:20] | Who are you, and why are you always in our house? | 你是谁 为什么总在我们家? |
| [12:23] | I guess we should save some for Carl | 我觉得 咱们得给Carl留点儿 |
| [12:24] | so he gets something out of this. | 让他也沾沾光 |
| [12:26] | We’re gonna have to change that speech we worked on. | 现在演讲稿也得改改了 |
| [12:28] | That’s a pretty significant rewrite. | 那都得重写了 |
| [12:29] | A lot of our best points | 很多最精辟的地方 |
| [12:31] | were about how you kept that pig alive for five days. | 都是说你如何让那猪活够五天的 |
| [12:32] | Maybe you can just change it to “four days.” | 改成”四天”就行了吧 |
| [12:34] | Are you insane? | 你们疯了? |
| [12:35] | There is no speech, there is no election. | 再没什么演讲和竞选了 |
| [12:38] | You are going in there tomorrow | 你明天去告诉大家 |
| [12:39] | saying you killed a blind man’s pig. | 你杀了一只导盲猪 |
| [12:41] | Well, the election’s not for a week. | 竞选又不是选一周 |
| [12:43] | Maybe they’ll just forget. | 大家也许会忘了呢 |
| [12:45] | Seriously, who are you? | 话说 你到底是谁? |
| [12:47] | Burt, look, we screwed up. | Burt 咱们搞砸了 |
| [12:50] | Okay? Forget the election. | 好吗? 忘了竞选吧 |
| [12:52] | This is what’s gonna happen: | 明天就这样 |
| [12:54] | We’re gonna go in there tomorrow, | 我们走进教堂 |
| [12:55] | say what we did, and we’re gonna suffer the scorn, | 向大家坦白 默默接受大家的鄙视 |
| [12:58] | and we’re gonna do it as a family. | 我们一家人一起承担 |
| [13:00] | I mean, we got through the Easter fart. | 你看 复活节放屁我们诶过来了 |
| [13:02] | We got through Maw Maw dry-humping the St. Francis statue. | 太婆搞圣方济各雕像我们也挨过来了 |
| [13:05] | He was no saint. | 他不是圣人 |
| [13:06] | Should’ve seen the way he was looking at me. | 你们不知道他怎么挑逗我的 |
| [13:09] | Well, if tomorrow’s our judgment day, might as well enjoy now. | 如果明天是受难日 我们不妨享受现在吧 |
| [13:19] | I’m only doing this so you’ll always be a part of me, okay? | 吃了之后 你就永远和我在一起了 好吗? |
| [13:28] | God, that is delicious. | 天啊 太好吃了 |
| [13:29] | Mmm. | 嗯 |
| [13:33] | Hey. Sorry I’m late. | 嗨 抱歉 我迟到了 |
| [13:35] | – Where’s Burt? – I wish I knew. | – Burt呢? – 我也想知道 |
| [13:37] | He left before we woke up this morning. | 今早我们起床前他就走了 |
| [13:39] | He missed a really good breakfast. | 他错过了一顿美味的早餐 |
| [13:41] | We had ham and eggs, bacon, pigs in a blanket, | 有火腿 煎蛋 培根 包猪肉 |
| [13:43] | and the blanket was ham. | 用火腿包的 |
| [13:45] | Burt, I don’t know where the heck you went this morning, | Burt 你大早上的去哪了 |
| [13:47] | but we said we were gonna do this as a family, | 我们说过要一家人一起行动的 |
| [13:49] | and I expect you to be here. | 你快点回来吧 |
| [13:50] | Oh, hey, pig-ahoy. | 嘿 小猪 |
| [13:54] | Burt, you found another Mr. Curly Tail? | Burt 你又找了一只卷尾巴先生? |
| [13:57] | Like the Good Book probably says, | 就像圣经说的 |
| [13:59] | “Have a little faith, then you shall find them.” | “信仰 赋予你力量” |
| [14:01] | There you are. | 你在这里啊 |
| [14:03] | We’re just about to make the presentation. | 我们就要开始赠送仪式了 |
| [14:05] | Give me that pig. | 把猪给我 |
| [14:07] | Come on, let’s go. Let’s… going to work. | 来啊 我们走 我们… 去工作 |
| [14:09] | Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. | 快走啊 快走啊 |
| [14:12] | This is amazing. | 太棒了 |
| [14:14] | I would’ve thought there’s a waiting list for a service pig. | 我早该想到 这种导盲猪会有候补的 |
| [14:16] | I’m sure there is. | 那是当然 |
| [14:17] | But you can get a regular pig like that. | 但找只普通猪也很简单 |
| [14:19] | So you just got some random animal off a farm? | 这事你从农场随便抓来的? |
| [14:23] | Petting zoo. For $100, the guy said I could have | 是宠物园 花了100刀 |
| [14:25] | any animal I wanted, and I could do whatever I wanted with it. | 那人让我随便选 买来想干啥就干啥 |
| [14:28] | Then he winked at me. | 还朝我眨了下眼 |
| [14:30] | We are never taking Hope to that petting zoo. | 以后千万别带Hope去那个宠物园 |
| [14:35] | Just sweet, right? | 很可爱 对吗? |
| [14:36] | Just sweet, oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. | 很可爱 噢 稍等 |
| [14:38] | I’m not done. | 还有件事 |
| [14:39] | I’ve also thought to provide | 我额外赠送给他 |
| [14:41] | this pouch of treats that you can use to reward | 一个猪食袋 如果它听话 |
| [14:43] | your service companion as he adapts to your personal needs. | 你可以用这袋食物犒赏他 |
| [14:46] | Let’s put this on you. | 我给你穿上 |
| [14:49] | – There you go. – Thank you. | – 穿好了 – 谢啦 |
| [14:50] | No, it’s not about me, | 不 别谢我 |
| [14:52] | or the $47.00 that I spent on the pouch and treats. | 也不用谢我花47刀买的袋子和食物 |
| [14:57] | This is about you. | 我是为了帮你 |
| [14:58] | I’m smiling and pointing at you, Carl. | Carl 我在指着你笑呢 |
| [15:00] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [15:02] | It’s a good thing. | 真棒 |
| [15:03] | What the hell, Burt? He’s gonna get killed | Burt 怎么办? 他会被这只 |
| [15:05] | being dragged around town by an untrained pig. | 没受训的猪拖着乱跑撞死的 |
| [15:07] | Don’t worry, I have a plan. | 别担心 我有个主意 |
| [15:13] | Dad did have a plan. | 老爸的确有个主意 |
| [15:19] | But like most of his plans, it was crazy. | 和其他主意一样 非常疯狂 |
| [15:23] | Dad figured that we could keep Carl safe by being guide humans | 爸爸说 为了保证Carl的安全 |
| [15:26] | for the fake guide pig. | 我们去帮那只猪”导盲” |
| [15:29] | Good job, pig. | 小猪 干得好 |
| [15:33] | # Like I’m living again # | # 生活重新有了希望 # |
| [15:36] | # I’m so glad… # | # 我很开心… # |
| [15:38] | Hey, you smell that, pig? Someone must have passed by | 嘿 小猪 闻到了吗? 有人从我们身边走过 |
| [15:42] | wearing cheap perfume and way too much of it. | 还喷了很多廉价香水 |
| [15:46] | It’s lingering. | 味道总散不掉 |
| [15:49] | All we had to do was keep the most popular blind man | 我们现在要做的就是看着镇上 |
| [15:52] | in town alive long enough | 最出名的盲人 |
| [15:53] | for Dad to win the Heaven’s Helpers election. | 直到老爸赢得”志愿天使”的选举 |
| [15:55] | Good job, pig. | 小猪 干得好 |
| [16:01] | Ah! | 啊! |
| [16:06] | Bless you, pig. | 小猪 上帝保佑你 |
| [16:07] | And once Dad was in charge, | 一旦老爸上任 |
| [16:09] | he’d be able to figure out a more permanent solution. | 我们就可以换一个长久之计了 |
| [16:15] | Oh, good job, pig. | 噢 小猪 干得好 |
| [16:21] | hmm | 嗯 |
| [16:23] | That was a close call, huh? | 真是千钧一发 不是吗? |
| [16:27] | Yeah, it was. | 是 太凶险了 |
| [16:29] | Boy, you saved my life, pig. | 小猪啊 你救了我 |
| [16:32] | It was gonna be tough, | 这工作很难 |
| [16:32] | but luckily, our family is used to doing horrible jobs. | 但幸运的是 我们都能吃苦 |
| [16:35] | Pig! Towel! | 小猪! 拿毛巾! |
| [16:40] | # You’re the one who erased the pain # | # 我的痛苦消失不见 # |
| [16:43] | # My life will never be the same # | # 我的生活焕然一新 # |
| [16:45] | # You’re the very one, the only one that I’ve been waiting for # | # 你就是我等待许久的唯一 # |
| [16:51] | Pig! Bag! | 小猪! 拿包! |
| [16:52] | # I want to thank you… # | # 我要谢谢你… # |
| [16:54] | Good job, pig. | 干得好 小猪 |
| [17:01] | # I just want to say thank you, baby # | # 感谢你 亲爱的 # |
| [17:05] | # For saving my life # | # 把我拯救 # |
| [17:07] | # For picking me up # | # 将我挽回 # |
| [17:10] | # Dusting me off # | # 赐我新生 # |
| [17:13] | # Putting me all back together, together. Together, together # | # 因你而完美的我 # |
| [17:17] | # Together # | # 完美的我 # |
| [17:20] | # I can live. I can live # | # 生活在继续 # |
| [17:22] | # Since I found you, baby… # | # 因为我有了你… # |
| [17:25] | Thank you. | 谢谢你们 |
| [17:26] | What’s… up, Natesville?! | Natesville镇… 早上好! |
| [17:31] | It’s 58 degrees, 7:32 in the morning. | 现在是早晨7:32 气温14度 |
| [17:34] | Okay, pig, time to go. | 好 小猪 该出发了 |
| [17:39] | Hey, hey, we’re running late, pig, come on. We gotta… | 嘿 小猪 我们要迟到了 我们得… |
| [17:43] | # For saving my life. We played together # | # 把我拯救 一起玩耍 # |
| [17:46] | # For picking me up. I can’t live # | # 将我挽回 只有你 # |
| [17:49] | # I can’t live without you, baby. For dusting me off # | # 给了我生命的希望 赐我新生 # |
| [17:51] | # Didn’t you, didn’t you, didn’t you, didn’t you? # | # 不是吗? # |
| [17:53] | # Thank you, baby # | # 谢谢你 # |
| [17:55] | # For saving my life # | # 把我挽救 # |
| [17:59] | What are you doing, Virginia? | Virginia 你在干嘛? |
| [18:02] | Uh, just getting a closer look at this pig. | 啊 只是想近距离观察这只猪 |
| [18:03] | Did you ever notice he has | 你从没注意过吗? |
| [18:04] | the exact same eyes as David Lee Roth? | 他眼睛和David Lee Roth一样 |
| [18:07] | Oh, good evening, ladies. | 噢 女士们 晚上好 |
| [18:09] | Am I on time for the meeting? | 我没迟到吧? |
| [18:11] | Right on time. Come on in. | 时间刚刚好 快请进 |
| [18:17] | Hello, everyone, and welcome to | 大家好啊 |
| [18:19] | a very important meeting of Heaven’s Helpers. | 欢迎大家参加”志愿天使”大会 |
| [18:21] | Tonight we will be choosing a chairperson | 今晚 我们将选举出主席 |
| [18:23] | to lead our group for the next two years. | 未来两年他将领导我们 |
| [18:26] | Normally, the nominees | 一般来说 在投票前 |
| [18:28] | would each give a short speech before the vote. | 被提名者会分别进行简短演讲 |
| [18:30] | Since Burt will show you that speeches are boring | 由于Burt的演讲一定十分无趣 |
| [18:33] | and since actions speak louder than words, I want you to see | 并且行胜于言 |
| [18:37] | with your own eyes how my work | 我想让你们亲眼看看 |
| [18:39] | did not just give this man a pig. | 我不只给这男人一只猪 |
| [18:40] | It gave him his freedom. | 我还给他自由 |
| [18:42] | I’m going to give you a demonstration | 接下来 |
| [18:45] | on the amazing things that this pig is trained to do. | 就是见证奇迹的时刻 |
| [18:48] | We are so busted. | 咱们完了 |
| [18:51] | I’m starting to think our plan to impersonate a guide pig | 我已经预想到咱们cos导盲猪 |
| [18:54] | to fool a blind man and a church congregation | 戏弄盲人和教堂集会 |
| [19:01] | prepare to be amazed. | 的惨烈下场了 |
| [19:04] | This is going to be like the Easter fart times 20. | 相当于复活节放了二十次屁 |
| [19:06] | This is going to be even worse than | 比Jimmy唱错圣诞歌 |
| [19:08] | Jimmy’s Christmas caroling boner. | 还要糟糕 |
| [19:10] | Now, Carl, I’m going to need you to turn around. | Carl 现在 请转身 |
| [19:13] | Wait. This could be great. I mean, you guys aren’t gonna get | 也许没事的 我是说 如果猪完不成指令 |
| [19:15] | blamed when the pig can’t do it, she is. | 蒙羞的是她 不是你们 |
| [19:17] | She’s the one trying to take all the credit. It’s karma. | 她是承担后果的人 这是报应 |
| [19:19] | Oh, yeah, like that show with the Mallrats guy | 噢 这就跟你一直逼我喜欢的 |
| [19:22] | you kept trying to make me like. | 那Mallrats秀一样 |
| [19:24] | Now, tell the pig to get your bag. | 现在 让她去拿你的包 |
| [19:26] | Pig, bag. | 小猪 去拿包 |
| [19:33] | Yes. | 好的 |
| [19:38] | I don’t believe it. | 难以置信 |
| [19:39] | Lucky break. | 运气罢了 |
| [19:40] | Pig, home. | 小猪 回家吧 |
| [19:45] | Yes, right this way. | 对 就这样 |
| [19:47] | Good. Yes. | 好 太棒了 |
| [20:02] | What the hell’s going on here? | 这里怎么了? |
| [20:04] | I think we trained that pig. | 我们训练了那头猪 |
| [20:06] | Oh, my God. We taught it how to be | 噢 天呐 我们手把手把它 |
| [20:08] | a guide pig by leading it around and showing it what to do. | 培养成了一只导盲猪 |
| [20:11] | And giving it pig treats as positive reinforcement. | 还给他大餐犒劳他 |
| [20:13] | You gave the treats to the pig? | 你给他大餐? |
| [20:15] | Yeah. What’d you do with them? | 是啊 你不给? |
| [20:17] | I gave them to the pig. | 我也给猪 |
| [20:21] | I can’t believe this. | 真不敢相信 |
| [20:23] | She’s getting all the credit again. | 功劳又归她了 |
| [20:25] | And we can’t even tell anybody what we did, | 我们也不能说我们做了什么 |
| [20:26] | or they’ll know that we ate Mr. Curly Tail. | 没法说我们吃了卷尾巴先生啊 |
| [20:28] | Now she’s definitely gonna win. | 现在 她必胜无疑了 |
| [20:30] | I don’t know about that, ’cause I wrote Burt a pretty great speech. | 说不准 我给Burt写了个很棒的演讲 |
| [20:32] | It was basically the speech from Braveheart, | 除了结尾 基本上套用”勇敢的心” |
| [20:34] | except at the end, it was like “You can take our church bazaar, | “你能得到我们的教堂集市 |
| [20:37] | but you’ll never take our rummage sale.” | 但你永远得不到我们的清仓大甩卖” |
| [20:40] | But like subtle. | 更含蓄点 |
| [20:42] | Burt? | Burt啊? |
| [20:42] | Burt, Burt, come on. | Burt 拜托 |
| [20:45] | You gotta focus on your speech. | 你得专心演讲 |
| [20:47] | Ah, I don’t care. She can be in charge. | 啊 我不在意 反正她会赢 |
| [20:49] | What? But then you’ll never get the credit. | 什么? 那你就永远得不到表扬了 |
| [20:51] | I don’t need it. | 我不需要 |
| [20:53] | Look what we did. | 看看咱做的好事 |
| [20:58] | Dad realized he didn’t need to be in charge to get some glory, | 爸爸明白 他不需要用掌权来获得荣耀 |
| [21:02] | because he didn’t need glory at all. | 因为他不再需要荣耀了 |
| [21:04] | Happiness is making other people happy. | 幸福是让他人获得快乐 |
| [21:07] | And after that, Dad was happy to do | 在那之后 爸爸喜欢在教堂附近做义工 |
| [21:09] | his volunteer work around the church simply for the good | 仅仅因为这样做 |
| [21:11] | feeling of knowing that he had helped make things better. | 能够让世界更美好 |
| [21:13] | Looking good, Carl. | Carl 你看上去不错 |
| [21:15] | Thanks, Burt, ’cause you know I can’t tell. | 谢谢你啦 Burt 你知道我看不见 |
| [21:18] | Great hearing and funny. | 很幽默嘛 |
| [21:20] | You’re almost the total package. | 你和健康人差不多 |
| [21:23] | Nice. | 好 |