| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:07] | Forty-five. | 第四十五颗 |
| [00:07] | Don’t let him win, Burt. | 别输给他 伯特 |
| [00:09] | I’d rather melt cheese on cardboard | 我宁可用硬纸板烤奶酪 |
| [00:11] | than eat a pizza with a whole wheat crust. | 也不要吃全麦的披萨 |
| [00:15] | Hello, Chances. | 吉斯一家 你们好 |
| [00:16] | I know it took me several weeks, | 虽然耗费时间久了点 |
| [00:18] | but I finally got through Sabrina’s grandmother’s will. | 但我总算看完塞布丽娜外婆的遗嘱了 |
| [00:21] | – Who’s the kid? – Oh, this is Kevin. | -这孩子是谁 -这是凯文 |
| [00:24] | I lost a key piece of evidence in his father’s murder trial, | 我为他爸的谋杀案辩护时弄丢了一件关键证物 |
| [00:28] | so he’ll be staying with me for the next five to seven years. | 所以接下来几年 他就得跟我过了 |
| [00:31] | So what did you find in the will? | 遗嘱里到底说了什么 |
| [00:32] | Did I get anything else? | 我还能继承到什么 |
| [00:34] | Well, there were giant sections of legalese | 遗嘱里有一大堆的法律术语 |
| [00:37] | that I honestly couldn’t get through. | 我是真心看不懂啊 |
| [00:39] | But according to Kevin, I’ve got to give Jimmy | 不过据凯文说 我需要给吉米做个 |
| [00:41] | a simple dental exam. | 简单的牙科检查 |
| [00:42] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [00:43] | She wanted to make sure | 你外婆想要确保 |
| [00:44] | her descendants had good chompers. | 她的后代牙好胃口好 |
| [00:47] | Kevin, my tools. | 凯文 上家伙 |
| [00:54] | I need to count your teeth. | 我得数数你的牙口 |
| [01:06] | Settling an argument again, huh? | 你们家又起内部矛盾了是吧 |
| [01:08] | You know, some families make decisions by flipping coins. | 其实很多家庭都靠抛硬币来解决问题啊 |
| [01:12] | And some people wash their hands | 怎么不说居然有人给车加完油后 |
| [01:13] | after they fill up their car at the gas station. | 还会洗手呢 |
| [01:16] | So we both have things to work on. | 看来我们都有待改进 |
| [01:18] | I’m sorry, wait, what’s the deal? | 等一下 到底怎么说 |
| [01:20] | Did we get the house or…? | 房子还是我们的吗 |
| [01:21] | Yep. She’s all yours. | 当然 房子自然是你的 |
| [01:25] | My associate has just reminded me, | 我的助手提醒我了 |
| [01:28] | you only get your grandmother’s house | 你要想继承你外婆的房子 |
| [01:29] | if you get married in the family church. | 就必须在家族教堂里结婚 |
| [01:32] | Nice work, Kevin. | 干得不错 凯文 |
| [01:33] | What? Now she’s dictating where we get married? | 什么 她连我结婚的地点都要管 |
| [01:36] | I’m sorry, is there anything in there about | 那是不是连我们圆房方式啥的 |
| [01:37] | how we have to consummate our marriage or…? | 她也做了安排啊 |
| [01:42] | Kevin says there isn’t. | 凯文说没有这些内容 |
| [01:43] | And what does “consummate” mean? | “圆房”是什么意思啊 |
| [01:47] | I got this. | 包在我身上 |
| [01:48] | Jimmy, go to the kitchen, get me a banana and a donut. | 吉米 去厨房拿香蕉和甜甜圈来 |
| [01:52] | Take a seat, Kevin. | 坐 凯文 |
| [01:54] | Kick your feet up. | 把腿翘上来 |
| [01:56] | This is gonna blow your mind. | 一会保证让你没齿难忘 |
| [02:07] | Loved the sermon. | 布道讲得不错 |
| [02:08] | That Jesus was one hell of a guy. | 耶稣大兄弟真是杠杠的啊 |
| [02:10] | I wish I was the son of God. | 我都想当上帝之子了 |
| [02:12] | Do you know how many pools I could clean | 要是我也会水上行走 |
| [02:13] | if I could walk on water? | 就能多清理多少池塘呢 |
| [02:15] | You don’t think you’d just be constantly | 你大概只会不停地把 |
| [02:16] | turning those pools into giant cement boxes of wine? | 它们变成一池池酒而已 |
| [02:19] | Yeah, that could be a problem. | 这倒是一个问题 |
| [02:21] | Guys, there’s Reverend Bob. | 各位 那是鲍勃牧师 |
| [02:23] | Okay, when he’s done talking to those people, | 等他和别人说完 |
| [02:24] | let’s just go over there, huh? | 咱们就过去吧 |
| [02:26] | Sabrina! Sabrina! | 塞布丽娜 塞布丽娜 |
| [02:27] | Oh, good, it is you! | 太好了 真的是你 |
| [02:29] | You know, I saw a mousy girl with limp hair | 我看到一个披头散发 贼眉鼠眼的姑娘 |
| [02:30] | and I just took a gamble. | 就试着叫了你的名字 |
| [02:32] | There’s somebody that I want you to meet. | 我想让你们见一个人 |
| [02:33] | I think he’s my soul mate. | 他和我真是天造地设的一对 |
| [02:35] | He is signing autographs. | 他在那边给人签名呢 |
| [02:36] | He’s a minor league baseball player. | 他是小职业球队联盟的棒球手 |
| [02:38] | You’re dating “Rocket” Ricardo Montes? | 你在和”火箭手”里卡多·蒙特斯约会 |
| [02:40] | He’s the greatest thing | 除了纳什维尔萝卜队 |
| [02:41] | to happen to the Natesville Radishes | 把一只袋鼠放在左外野之外 |
| [02:42] | since they put that kangaroo in left field. | 他算是最大的亮点了 |
| [02:44] | Well, I’ll introduce you. | 我来介绍你们认识 |
| [02:45] | But don’t mention the kangaroo. | 不过别跟他提那只袋鼠 |
| [02:47] | He dropped a fly ball | 要不是那袋鼠搞掉了个腾空球 |
| [02:48] | and cost Ricardo a no-hitter. | 里卡多差点就可以上演”无安打”了 |
| [02:50] | No, thanks. I get too nervous around celebrities. | 不 不用了 我一靠近名人就紧张 |
| [02:52] | I met Scotch Wilkinson, | 我有一次在加油站遇见 |
| [02:53] | the Channel Five weatherman, at a gas station one time. | 五频道的天气预报员思科·威尔金森 |
| [02:56] | I got so tongue-tied, all I could yell was, “Weather!” | 舌头都打结了 只能狂喊”天气” |
| [02:58] | Ricardo, I would like you to meet, but not judge me by, | 里卡多 你别看不起我 给你介绍一下 |
| [03:01] | my daughter Sabrina, | 我女儿塞布丽娜 |
| [03:02] | her fiance Jimmy, his child with a serial killer | 她未婚夫吉米还有他和连环杀手生的女儿 |
| [03:05] | and his poor parents. | 这是他的穷爹妈 |
| [03:11] | Baseball! | 棒球 |
| [03:15] | Reverend Bob! | 鲍勃牧师 |
| [03:16] | Sabrina, I haven’t seen you here in years! | 塞布丽娜 好多年不见了 |
| [03:19] | Well, this is my fiance, Jimmy. | 这是我的未婚夫吉米 |
| [03:21] | Loved the sermon. | 你布道讲得太好了 |
| [03:22] | I was totally surprised | 当我听到是耶稣 |
| [03:23] | when it turned out to be Jesus carrying him on the beach. | 在沙滩上扛着他时 我太惊讶了 |
| [03:26] | Well, that Jesus was not all great abs and nice hair. | 耶稣并不只腹肌完美 头发茂密哦 |
| [03:30] | Congratulations on your engagement. | 恭喜你们订婚了 |
| [03:32] | Actually, we were hoping that you would maybe marry us. | 其实 我们希望您能为我们主持婚礼 |
| [03:36] | Oh, I’d be honored. | 荣幸之极 |
| [03:37] | And here’s the great news: | 还有个好消息 |
| [03:39] | our church is offering a free weekend retreat | 我们教会为订婚的情侣准备了 |
| [03:42] | for our engaged couples. | 免费的周末度假 |
| [03:44] | We eat gourmet food, | 提供美食 |
| [03:46] | we stay in deluxe accommodations, | 提供豪华套房 |
| [03:48] | we sign a waiver promising not to fornicate. | 顺便签份”忠贞不二”的保证书 |
| [03:53] | Sign me up for most of that! | 姐报名了 |
| [03:55] | Another fun thing we can’t do just ’cause we’re married. | 因为已婚 我们又要错过一件趣事了 |
| [03:59] | You can’t be Miss America, I can’t go on The Bachelor. | 你当不成美国小姐 我也参加不了单身派对 |
| [04:03] | I’m sick of this. | 真是受够了 |
| [04:04] | Right on, Burt. | 太同意了 伯特 |
| [04:05] | I say it’s time we fight back against this discrimination. | 我们该强势抵抗歧视了 |
| [04:13] | Excuse me, Reverend Bob. | 打扰了 鲍勃牧师 |
| [04:15] | I’m Virginia Chance. | 我是维吉妮亚·吉斯 |
| [04:17] | This is my fiance. | 这位是我的未婚夫 |
| [04:20] | Oh, man, everyone gets to go | 天呐 大家都要去情侣露营 |
| [04:22] | to a cool couple’s camp except us. | 就咱俩去不了 |
| [04:28] | Tamara Anderson-Collins- Rabinowitz-Yang, | 塔玛拉·安德森·科林斯·拉比诺维茨·杨 |
| [04:31] | will you do me the honor of becoming my wife | 你愿意做我的妻子 |
| [04:33] | and making me the happiest relief pitcher | 让我成为钻石王老五发展前景联盟里 |
| [04:35] | in the Single-A Developmental Prospect League? | 最幸福的替补投手吗 |
| [04:37] | Yes, but can you wait three weeks | 愿意 但是你可以再等我三个星期 |
| [04:39] | till my divorce is official? | 到我正式离婚吗 |
| [04:41] | For you, I could wait a month. | 为了你 一个月我也等 |
| [04:50] | So, big weekend in the country, huh? | 要去乡村过个好周末哟嘿 |
| [04:53] | Hey, I’m sorry for the short notice. | 很抱歉临时找你来 |
| [04:55] | I really appreciate this. | 超级感谢你 |
| [04:56] | Hope’s over at Shelley’s, | 喜旺送到雪莉家了 |
| [04:57] | but Maw Maw and Shelley | 但目前曾奶奶和雪莉 |
| [04:58] | aren’t on the best of terms right now. | 关系不是很融洽 |
| [05:00] | You know, they’ll be okay after the election. | 但等选举结束 她俩就啥事没有了 |
| [05:01] | I don’t need anyone to babysit me! | 我不需要别人来照顾 |
| [05:03] | I can feed myself, dress myself, and wipe my own… | 我可以自己吃饭 自己穿衣 自己擦… |
| [05:07] | How did that get there? | 咦我说这个干嘛 |
| [05:09] | Thanks, Barney. | 谢谢你 巴尼 |
| [05:11] | You’re a lifesaver. | 你真是人民大救星 |
| [05:12] | No problem. Have a great time! | 不客气 玩得开心点噢 |
| [05:29] | Uh, hi, Mom. | 喂 老妈 |
| [05:30] | Can you put Mom on, too? | 能让老妈也听电话吗 |
| [05:32] | Hi, Mom. | 老妈 |
| [05:34] | Uh, I’m afraid I’m going to have to miss | 明天我的生日早午餐会 |
| [05:36] | my birthday brunch tomorrow. | 我大概来不了了 |
| [05:38] | Yeah. | 可不是嘛 |
| [05:39] | Apparently, I was dead wrong. | 显然我错大发了 |
| [05:41] | Babysitting an old woman was not a ruse | 以照顾老婆子为借口 来给我开惊喜派对 |
| [05:43] | to get me over here for my surprise party. | 可不是个好策略 |
| [05:46] | Don’t get too comfortable. | 别以为这是你家 |
| [05:47] | If they’re paying you, you’re gonna earn it. | 如果他们付你钱 你就得付出辛勤的汗水 |
| [05:50] | Put these on. | 戴上 |
| [05:51] | I’ll meet you in the bathroom. | 浴室见 |
| [06:30] | Tequila! | 龙舌兰 |
| [06:36] | Welcome, couples! | 欢迎光临 小情侣们 |
| [06:39] | This is my lovely wife, Lisa, | 这是我美丽的妻子丽莎 |
| [06:41] | whom I met in the Philippines. | 我们是在菲律宾相识的 |
| [06:43] | In case you’re wondering, | 为免引起疑问 提前告诉你们 |
| [06:44] | she’s free to leave anytime she wants. | 只要愿意 她可以随时离开 |
| [06:47] | Uh, Lisa, would you give our guests their welcome gifts. | 丽莎 快把我们的见面礼献给客人们吧 |
| [06:53] | Bags to people! | 包给他们 |
| [06:57] | Ooh, it’s heavy. | 挺沉嘛 |
| [06:58] | This might be the Ten Commandments. | 是装了《十诫》吧 |
| [07:00] | We got a ham? | 我们这有火腿 |
| [07:02] | We, too, got a ham. | 一样 |
| [07:04] | The mystery thickens. | 越来越神秘了 |
| [07:05] | Yep, it’s a ham, all right. | 果真有个火腿 |
| [07:08] | And T-shirts. | 还有件T恤 |
| [07:10] | That smell like ham. | 闻起来也像火腿 |
| [07:12] | These hams represent your marriages. | 这些火腿代表了你们的婚姻 |
| [07:16] | If you can get through the weekend with your hams | 如果过完这周 |
| [07:19] | unscathed, then you will have | 你们的火腿依然毫发无损 |
| [07:21] | the foundations in place for an everlasting partnership. | 你们便将长长久久 百年好合 |
| [07:26] | Oh, honey, with my marriage experience | 亲爱的 我丰富的婚姻经验 |
| [07:28] | and your rock-hard pecs, | 加你坚如磐石的胸大肌 |
| [07:30] | our ham is gonna crush their ham. | 我们的火腿一定会秒杀他们的 |
| [07:33] | Mom, this is about strengthening our relationships. | 妈 这活动的目的是要我们的关系更亲密 |
| [07:36] | This is not a competition. | 又不是比赛 |
| [07:37] | Couples, are you ready for a little competition?! | 小情侣们 准备好小赛一番了吗 |
| [07:45] | Okay, gentlemen, | 好了 先生们 |
| [07:47] | while you were in the isolation bathroom, | 当你们被关在厕所的时候 |
| [07:49] | we asked the ladies a couple of questions | 我们问了女士们一些问题 |
| [07:52] | and they wrote down what they thought | 她们写下了 |
| [07:54] | your responses would be. | 你们可能给出的答案 |
| [07:56] | If your spouse could be married to a celebrity, | 如果你的配偶可以跟一位名人结婚 |
| [07:59] | who would they choose? | 他们会选谁 |
| [08:01] | Ricardo? | 里卡多 |
| [08:01] | You are correct. | 你已经给出正确答案了 |
| [08:03] | “Ricardo Montes!” | 里卡多·蒙特斯 |
| [08:05] | Burt? | 伯特 |
| [08:06] | Al Pacino. | 阿尔·帕西诺 |
| [08:07] | “Al Pacino.” | 阿尔·帕西诺 |
| [08:09] | It’d be an easy transition. | 太简单了 |
| [08:10] | Burt already says “Hoo-hah!” a lot during sex. | 伯特滚床单时老爱叫唤”呼哈” |
| [08:12] | Hoo-hah! | 哇哦 |
| [08:14] | Jimmy? | 吉米 |
| [08:15] | Woody Allen. | 伍迪·艾伦[文艺范儿导演] |
| [08:18] | “Ryan Gosling.” | 瑞恩·高斯林[演员] |
| [08:19] | If you don’t think he’s so great, | 如果你不欣赏他 |
| [08:21] | why you make me watch all those boring movies? | 干嘛老逼我看那些无聊的电影呢 |
| [08:25] | A meteor is heading to your house. | 陨石即将砸向你们的房子 |
| [08:27] | What would your partner say was the one thing you would save? | 你的伴侣会认为你最先救哪件东西呢 |
| [08:31] | Burt? | 伯特 |
| [08:32] | The world. | 世界 |
| [08:34] | Jimmy? | 吉米 |
| [08:35] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [08:36] | We use the toaster oven a lot. | 不过烤箱是我们最常用的东西 |
| [08:38] | “Hope.” | 喜旺 |
| [08:39] | Oh, yeah, that’s better. | 这个更好 |
| [08:40] | She’s right on that one. | 她是对的 |
| [08:41] | Burt, how did Virginia say | 伯特 维吉妮亚认为 |
| [08:43] | you would complete this sentence? “I…” | 你会怎么接这个句子 “我…” |
| [08:45] | “Never met a monkey I didn’t want to shake hands with!” | “见猴子必想握手” |
| [08:49] | Oh, come on, they’re getting all the easy ones! | 凭什么他们的问题都那么简单 |
| [08:54] | What did your partner say was her favorite food? | 你的伴侣最喜欢吃什么 |
| [08:57] | Burt? | 伯特 |
| [08:58] | Chicken Gordon Blue. | 香煎肉酱鸡排 |
| [09:00] | “Chicken Gordon Blue.” | 答对了 |
| [09:02] | Ricardo? | 里卡多 |
| [09:03] | She likes belly button berries. | 她喜欢吃肚脐莓 |
| [09:06] | “Anything off Ricardo’s stomach.” | “只要是里卡多肚子上的” |
| [09:09] | We’ll give it to them. | 算他们对吧 |
| [09:11] | Jimmy? | 吉米 |
| [09:12] | She always says when she’s really hungry | 她特别饿的时候总是说 |
| [09:14] | that she could eat a horse. | 她能吃下一匹马 |
| [09:16] | So I’m going with horse. | 所以我的答案是马 |
| [09:17] | It doesn’t say “Horse.” | 你是猪脑吗 |
| [09:18] | All right. | 好的 |
| [09:20] | Now we’re gonna send the women off | 接着请女士们离开 |
| [09:22] | and we’re gonna ask the men a few questions. | 我们要向男士提问了 |
| [09:25] | We’ll take a quick break. | 大家稍事休息 |
| [09:42] | Come on. | 来吧 |
| [09:43] | If it’s your birthday, | 既然今天是你的生日 |
| [09:45] | we should hop a ride on the old drunk train. | 我们就应该搭上买醉的列车 |
| [09:47] | First stop, sloppytown. | 第一站 邋遢镇 |
| [09:51] | All aboard! | 都给我上车 |
| [09:54] | If you think you can handle it. | 能喝咱就一口闷 |
| [09:55] | I’m 40 years old, I live by myself, | 我40岁了 自食其力 |
| [09:57] | and I manage a grocery store. | 经营着一家杂货店 |
| [09:59] | You don’t think I drink? | 怎么可能不会喝酒 |
| [10:06] | You don’t drink, do you? | 你肯定不会喝酒 |
| [10:08] | A little wine on special occasions. | 特殊场合会喝点葡萄酒 |
| [10:16] | And we’re back. | 咱们继续 |
| [10:19] | Thank you, Lisa. | 谢谢你 丽莎 |
| [10:20] | I clearly asked you to get us a pitcher of water, | 我记得我明明叫你端壶水来 |
| [10:22] | but the dance was nice. | 不过这舞跳得不错 |
| [10:25] | Okay, ladies, what did the men say | 女士们 在男方看来 |
| [10:27] | is your most embarrassing secret? | 你们最见不得人的秘密是什么 |
| [10:30] | Tamara? | 塔玛拉 |
| [10:31] | I’m not really 32. | 其实我不是32岁 |
| [10:33] | “She’s 33.” | “她33岁” |
| [10:35] | Plus tax and deposit. | 这还是抹完零后的吧 |
| [10:37] | Virginia? | 维吉妮亚 |
| [10:38] | Lost our sex tape. | 把性爱录像弄丢了 |
| [10:40] | “Lost our best sex tape.” | “把最棒的性爱录像弄丢了” |
| [10:43] | Sabrina? | 塞布丽娜 |
| [10:45] | I’m afraid of spiders crawling in my ears, | 我怕蜘蛛会爬进耳朵 |
| [10:47] | so sometimes I sleep with a panty-ho on my head. | 睡觉时头上会罩连裤袜 |
| [10:50] | “Sits backwards on the toilet when she poops.” | “大大的时候反着坐” |
| [10:54] | I enjoy reading, | 我喜欢看书 |
| [10:56] | and sometimes it’s easy to put the book on the… | 把书放马桶盖上 |
| [10:59] | the back of the toi… | 会比较… |
| [11:00] | Okay, you know what, great. | 哎呀 随便啦 |
| [11:01] | Now both these things are out there | 姐一次性爆了两个料 |
| [11:02] | and we haven’t even got one question right. | 到头来还是一题都没中 |
| [11:05] | Ladies, what does your man consider | 女士们 你们的伴侣认为 |
| [11:08] | to be your cutest habit? | 你们最可爱的习惯是什么 |
| [11:10] | Virginia? | 维吉妮亚 |
| [11:13] | “Scrunches up her face when she thinks!” | “想问题的时候皱起脸” |
| [11:18] | Ladies, what did the gentlemen say was the biggest challenge | 女士们 男方认为你们交往过程中 |
| [11:20] | you’ve overcome in your relationship? | 经历的最大困难是什么 |
| [11:22] | Sabrina? | 塞布丽娜 |
| [11:23] | I don’t know. I give up. | 不知道 我放弃 |
| [11:27] | We’ll give it to you. | 算你们正确 |
| [11:29] | – Virginia? – Got stranded in Cleveland. | -维吉妮亚 -被困在克利夫兰 |
| [11:31] | “Got stranded in Cleveland.” | “被困在克利夫兰” |
| [11:33] | Tamara? | 塔玛拉 |
| [11:34] | He hates my church. | 他讨厌我家的教堂 |
| [11:36] | “Hates her church.” | “讨厌她家的教堂” |
| [11:38] | No offense, but your choir has no flair. | 别介意 但你们的唱诗班真的有够差 |
| [11:41] | I’m doing the best I can with what I have! | 他们就那点水平 我容易吗我 |
| [11:43] | Let’s look at the final scores. | 来揭晓最后得分吧 |
| [11:46] | Let’s show them what they’ve won! | 看看大家的战绩如何 |
| [11:50] | Unfortunately, we only have two deluxe cabins. | 很不巧 只有两间豪华小木屋 |
| [11:54] | We had three, but the meth-heads got into one | 本来有三间的 有个嗑药的进了其中一间 |
| [11:57] | and blew it up. | 把房子给毁了 |
| [11:58] | This is where the losers have to sleep. | 输家必须睡在这里 |
| [12:01] | Oh, man up! Tomorrow’s another day. | 别灰心嘛 明天又是新的一天 |
| [12:03] | And I’m hoping y’all do better. | 希望你们明天能表现好点 |
| [12:05] | In fact, you have to, | 而且 如果还想在我们教堂结婚 |
| [12:07] | if you want to get married in our church. | 不表现好点是不行的 |
| [12:12] | If he doesn’t marry us, we’re gonna lose Nana’s house | 要是他不给主婚 外婆的房子就没了 |
| [12:14] | and wind up living in a dump like this. | 咱就只能住这种破地方了 |
| [12:16] | Who cares about the house? | 管它什么房子啊 |
| [12:18] | I mean, we only got one question right. | 我们才答对一题 |
| [12:21] | If we’re gonna get married, | 如果要结为夫妻 |
| [12:24] | I just, I want us to be so connected | 我希望我们能心有灵犀 |
| [12:26] | that we finish each other’s… | 默契地说完 |
| [12:27] | Vegetables? | 蔬菜 |
| [12:29] | Laundry? Popcorn? | 洗衣服 还是爆米花 |
| [12:32] | Take the ham. | 火腿交给你了 |
| [12:34] | I’m going to bed. | 我要去睡了 |
| [12:35] | Now you’re just throwing our relationship around | 你就这么把我们的感情 |
| [12:37] | like a piece of meat?! | 随便扔来扔去吗 |
| [12:38] | I just hate to see them arguing like this. | 真不想看到他们这样吵架 |
| [12:42] | They sound as bad as us | 他们吵架吵得 |
| [12:43] | when we got stranded in Cleveland. | 跟我们滞留在克利夫兰那会是一样一样的 |
| [12:45] | You were mad at me. | 你当时多生气啊 |
| [12:46] | ‘Cause you promised to stay awake on the bus | 你保证了在巴士上不睡着 |
| [12:48] | so we wouldn’t miss our stop in Indianapolis. | 免得错过在印第安纳波利斯那一站下车 |
| [12:50] | Wakey Burt makes promises sleepy Burt can’t keep. | 我睡着的时候 我的保证也没有醒 |
| [12:53] | Besides, once we got hoarse | 再说了 等我们嗓子都吼哑 |
| [12:54] | from screaming, and you stopped hitting me with your shoe, | 你也没用鞋子打我了以后 |
| [12:57] | we calmed down and we figured it out together. | 我们不也冷静下来 一起解决问题了 |
| [12:59] | It was kind of romantic. | 其实还挺浪漫的 |
| [13:01] | All those pretty fountains we stole the coins from | 我们还从漂亮的喷泉里偷硬币 |
| [13:04] | till we had enough to bribe the bus driver. | 拿去贿赂巴士司机 |
| [13:06] | He let us stow away in the luggage compartment | 他让我们躲在行李舱里 |
| [13:08] | all the way back to Natesville. | 一路回到内茨村 |
| [13:09] | The night we joined the Two-Foot-High Club. | 那天晚上我们加入了两英尺俱乐部 |
| [13:15] | You thinking what I’m thinking? | 你跟我想的一样吗 |
| [13:16] | We just got 20 out of 20 correct answers in a compatibility game. | 我们在相处游戏里答对全部二十道题 |
| [13:20] | Of course I’m thinking what you’re thinking. | 我当然跟你想的一样了 |
| [13:27] | Hey, Sabrina? | 塞布丽娜 |
| [13:29] | Where’d the buildings go? | 房子都去哪了 |
| [13:34] | I think maybe we moved, Jimmy. | 我想应该是我们移动了 吉米 |
| [13:37] | All right, don’t panic, | 不要惊慌不要失措 |
| [13:38] | but I think there’s a spider under your panty-ho. | 你的裤袜里好像有只蜘蛛 |
| [13:40] | What?! Oh, God! | 啥 妈呀 |
| [13:42] | Oh, God! | 天哪 |
| [13:49] | Is it dead? | 它挂了没 |
| [13:52] | Oh, it was just a piece of lint. | 其实只是一点棉花啦 |
| [14:01] | I really think we’re supposed to find our way back to camp. | 我觉得我们应该找路回营地 |
| [14:03] | Only question is: which way? | 唯一的问题是 哪条路 |
| [14:07] | I think that way. | 我觉得是那条 |
| [14:10] | All right, fine. | 好吧 |
| [14:11] | Let’s hurry. | 赶紧的 |
| [14:12] | I think our marriage is leaking. | 我们的婚姻好像开始滴水了 |
| [14:21] | Are they back yet? Did they walk in? | 他们回来了没 进来了没 |
| [14:22] | No, and stop panicking. | 没 别瞎慌了 |
| [14:24] | Your armpit sweat’s running under my bra. | 你腋下的汗水都流到我内衣里了 |
| [14:26] | Okay, everybody, bad news. | 各位 坏消息 |
| [14:29] | Jimmy and Sabrina stole the trailer. | 吉米和塞布丽娜偷走了拖车 |
| [14:32] | Wait! | 等等 |
| [14:34] | Uh… we have a confession to make. | 我们要忏悔 |
| [14:40] | You know, | 那个 |
| [14:41] | I used to think I didn’t have any friends because I was fat. | 我原以为我没朋友是因为我肥 |
| [14:44] | Now I’ve lost the weight, and the only difference in my life | 现在我瘦了 可唯一的不同也只是 |
| [14:47] | is eight cubic yards of extra skin. | 多出来了六立方米松弛皮肤 |
| [14:49] | Don’t get me started on extra skin. | 可别跟我说什么多出来的皮 |
| [14:51] | I’m three years away from being able to tie my ass in a knot. | 再过三年我屁股都能打个结了 |
| [14:55] | The point is, it’s my birthday, | 关键是 今天我生日啊 |
| [14:58] | and I’ve never felt lower. | 这简直是我人生最低谷了 |
| [15:01] | Now would be the perfect time | 如果大家能现在跳出来大叫“惊喜哟” |
| [15:02] | for everyone to jump out and yell “Surprise!” | 该多么完美呀 |
| [15:05] | You gonna keep doing that every 15 minutes | 你非得每十五分钟就来这么一句么 |
| [15:07] | or are we gonna drink? | 还要不要喝酒了 |
| [15:10] | So we towed the trailer about half a mile into the woods | 所以我们把拖车拖到半英里外的树林里 |
| [15:14] | so they would have to face a challenge together like we did. | 让他们面临跟我们当年一样的挑战 |
| [15:17] | I don’t mean to frighten anyone, | 我不想吓唬人 |
| [15:18] | but based on the time my team bus broke down in Death Valley, | 不过根据我们队当年大巴在死亡谷抛锚的经验 |
| [15:21] | pretty soon, they will be | 不久之后 |
| [15:22] | at the point where they will have to make a choice | 他们就会面临一个选择 |
| [15:24] | between starving to death or… | 要么饿死 |
| [15:28] | eating the batboy. | 要么吃掉对方 |
| [15:31] | They are not going to starve to death. | 他们才不会饿死呢 |
| [15:33] | They have an entire ham! | 他们有一整个火腿 |
| [15:34] | Well, I hope they ditched the ham. | 我倒希望他们已经把火腿扔了 |
| [15:36] | Those woods are full of bears. | 树林里很多熊 |
| [15:42] | Jimmy, throw the ham! | 吉米 扔掉火腿 |
| [15:43] | Throw the ham as far away as you can and get him away from us! | 扔得越远越好 让它离开我们 |
| [15:50] | I’m sorry! It’s a slippery ham! | 抱歉 这腿太滑了 |
| [15:52] | Hams are slippery! | 火腿都是滑溜溜的 |
| [15:53] | Well, that’s not gonna last very long. | 这可坚持不了多久 |
| [15:54] | North American bears can eat 40 pounds of meat a day. | 北美熊每天能吃三十多斤肉呢 |
| [15:57] | And since he’s gearing up for hibernation, | 而且他这要为冬眠做准备了 |
| [15:58] | he can eat twice that. | 能吃两个三十斤 |
| [16:00] | You know about bears? | 你了解熊的吗 |
| [16:01] | Yeah, my dad and I watch Bear Week every year. | 我和我爹每年都看BBC的《追熊记》 |
| [16:03] | Me, too. I did a report on them in middle school. | 我也是 我中学的时候还做过报告 |
| [16:05] | See? We do have stuff in common. | 看 我们还是有共同点的嘛 |
| [16:08] | So, you realize that that means that bear | 那你应该知道这只熊 |
| [16:10] | could climb up this tree very easily. | 分分钟都能爬上这棵树 |
| [16:11] | Oh, yeah, second he’s done eating our marriage, | 是啊 等他一吃光我们的婚姻 |
| [16:13] | he’s coming after us. | 就会冲我们而来了 |
| [16:14] | For the record, bears are no longer my favorite animal. | 声明一下 以后最喜欢的动物不再是熊了 |
| [16:19] | Well, | 那个 |
| [16:20] | I tried to call | 我给护林员打电话 |
| [16:21] | the forest rangers, but our telephone has been disconnected. | 可我们的电话已经停机了 |
| [16:25] | It seems that a certain Miss Chatty-Chat cannot seem | 某位话痨女士跟她远在马尼拉的妈狂打电话 |
| [16:28] | to get off the phone to her mother in Manila. | 总是舍不得挂 |
| [16:32] | “It’s raining, it’s raining, | 下以了 下以了诶 |
| [16:34] | it’s raining.” | 下以了哦 |
| [16:36] | We get it! | 我们知道下雨了好吗 |
| [16:38] | Do you have a gun? | 你有枪吗 |
| [16:39] | I got a tranquilizer gun. | 我有麻醉枪 |
| [16:41] | Then I shall use your sleep-inducing gun | 那我就要征用你的枪 |
| [16:43] | and I will save their life. | 去救他们的小命 |
| [16:44] | Or at the very least, | 至少 |
| [16:45] | return with the horribly mangled remains of your daughter, | 带回你女儿被撕裂的遗体 |
| [16:49] | so you can have some closure, my love. | 让你见上最后一面 亲爱的 |
| [16:51] | You know, not many men can make the thought | 能把这么凄惨的事讲得这么浪漫的人 |
| [16:53] | of losing a child so sexy. | 可真不多 |
| [16:56] | Now, before we get too crazy, | 我们还是别搞太大了先 |
| [16:58] | let’s not rule out the possibility | 他们很有可能 |
| [16:59] | of them walking through that door at any second. | 下一秒就从那扇门里走进来了 |
| [17:08] | Okay, get the gun! | 好吧 还是去拿枪吧 |
| [17:13] | You’re a good man, Barney. | 你真是大好人 巴尼 |
| [17:16] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [17:18] | I’m glad I didn’t spend my birthday alone. | 不是孤零零地过生日 我已经很欣慰了 |
| [17:20] | You’re a fine lady, | 你是个好女人 |
| [17:22] | Barbara June. | 芭芭拉·琼 |
| [17:23] | I hope you get your wish and die peacefully. | 我祝福你美梦成真 能安详死去 |
| [17:27] | Oh, thank you. | 太谢谢了 |
| [17:28] | You’re not one of the sexy ones, or the rich ones, | 你不是什么帅哥 也没什么大钱 |
| [17:33] | but y-you’re one of the good ones, Barney. | 但你绝对是个善良的人 巴尼 |
| [17:40] | That’s the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever said to me. | 从来没有人对我说过这么动情的话 |
| [17:43] | What did I say? | 我刚说啥了 |
| [17:48] | You sure this is a good idea? | 你确定这是个好法子吗 |
| [17:51] | No, but it’s the best idea. | 不 但这是唯一可行的方法了 |
| [17:53] | I mean, we jump out of the tree, we make a lot of noise, | 你看 我们跳下树 搞点动静出来 |
| [17:56] | maybe we can scare the bear away. | 也许就能把熊给吓跑了 |
| [17:58] | Maybe I should try and scare him and you should run. | 要不我去吓唬它 然后你趁机逃走 |
| [18:00] | What? No, Jimmy. | 什么 不行 吉米 |
| [18:02] | I’m not leaving you. | 我不会抛下你的 |
| [18:03] | Till death do us part, right? | 只有死亡才能将我们分离 不是吗 |
| [18:05] | Hopefully not today, but yes. | 当然 但希望别今天就分离 |
| [18:11] | I see them! | 找到他们了 |
| [18:12] | Oh, my God, they’re being attacked by a bear! | 天啊 他们被一只熊攻击了 |
| [18:14] | Hold on, wait! | 等等 |
| [18:14] | I want to record you saving my daughter. | 我要把你英勇救女的过程拍下来 |
| [18:16] | She’s always complaining that I don’t take enough home videos. | 她总抱怨我没多拍点家庭录像 |
| [18:19] | How long does it take one of those tranquilizer darts | 一只麻醉镖要多长时间 |
| [18:21] | to knock a bear out? | 才能放倒一只熊 |
| [18:22] | I think about two minutes, ’cause on Bear Week, | 差不多两分钟吧 《追熊记》里面 |
| [18:24] | they shoot the bear, then they go to a commercial | 那群人射中了一只熊 然后就插播广告了 |
| [18:26] | for gold coins, cars and about four other shows about bears. | 金币 汽车 还有三四部熊节目的预告 |
| [18:29] | And then they come back, that thing’s out cold. | 节目再回来时 熊就已经晕过去了 |
| [18:30] | Okay, go. | 好了 开始吧 |
| [18:56] | What happened? | 咋回事这是 |
| [18:58] | Is Sabrina okay? | 塞布丽娜没事吧 |
| [18:59] | You’re both fine. | 你们俩都没事 |
| [19:00] | It was awesome! | 刚刚真是帅呆了 |
| [19:02] | I filmed it with my phone. | 我用手机都录下来了 |
| [19:04] | Ricardo’s first shot missed the bear and hit you. | 里卡多的第一枪射偏了 射到你 |
| [19:08] | But then Sabrina came to your defense. | 不过塞布丽娜冲过去救你了 |
| [19:11] | With his second shot, | 里卡多的第二枪 |
| [19:15] | he missed the bear again and hit Sabrina. | 还是没射上熊 打中了塞布丽娜 |
| [19:22] | After the last shot, I got smart. | 两枪过后 我开窍了 |
| [19:24] | So I aimed for Sabrina | 于是我瞄准了塞布丽娜 |
| [19:26] | and hit the bear. | 最终射中了熊 |
| [19:32] | What happened? | 咋回事这是 |
| [19:33] | Easy. Go slow. | 冷静点 慢慢来 |
| [19:35] | Your 80-pound body took a dart meant | 你七十斤的小身板承受了 |
| [19:36] | for a 400-pound bear. | 一支为三百多斤大熊准备的麻醉镖 |
| [19:41] | I am so glad that you’re both okay. | 看过你们俩没事 我就放心了 |
| [19:43] | And I’m sorry that I ever doubted | 我居然曾怀疑你们俩在一起是否合适 |
| [19:45] | whether you were compatible. | 我真是太不该了 |
| [19:47] | I mean, you fought a bear together, | 瞧啊 苍天为证 |
| [19:49] | for crying out loud. | 你们携手大战了一只熊 |
| [19:51] | I cannot think of a better test of your love. | 这就是你们相爱最好的证明 |
| [19:56] | Oh, Jimmy, I love you! | 吉米 我爱死你了 |
| [20:00] | Yuck. | 恶 |
| [20:04] | Some couples know right away | 有些夫妻是一见钟情 |
| [20:05] | that they’re made for each other. | 天造地设的一对儿 |
| [20:07] | So, uh, who is Antonio? | 安东尼奥是谁 |
| [20:10] | That’s a long story. | 这就说来话长了 |
| [20:12] | Why? Does it make you jealous? | 怎么了 你吃醋了吗 |
| [20:20] | And some couples get better the longer they’re together. | 有些夫妻则是日久生情情愈浓 |
| [20:22] | What’d you snag? | 你搞到了什么宝贝 |
| [20:24] | Shampoo. How about you? | 洗发水 你呢 |
| [20:26] | Conditioner! | 护发素 |
| [20:29] | For Sabrina and me– it took a moment of crisis | 对于我和塞布丽娜来说 |
| [20:31] | to see that we were meant to be together. | 则是患难见真情 |
| [20:33] | Let’s go home and finish… | 快回家吧 然后 |
| [20:34] | Each other’s sentences? | 培养默契吗 |
| [20:35] | I was gonna say, “Getting the bear slobber out of your hair,” | 我是想说 回家把你头发上熊口水洗掉 |
| [20:37] | but I appreciate the effort. | 不过还是谢谢你努力猜心 |
| [20:41] | And some other couples were just getting started. | 而另一些孽缘则刚刚萌芽 |
| [20:45] | Hi, sugar. | 你醒啦 甜心 |
| [20:46] | Oh, my God. | 额滴神啊 |
| [20:48] | Did we…? | 我们是不是 |
| [20:50] | Oh, yeah. | 是的哟 |
| [20:51] | Does that supermarket of yours sell pregnancy tests? | 你的超市卖不卖验孕棒呀 |
| [20:58] | Hi, Barney. | 你好啊 巴尼 |
| [20:59] | Virginia, you’re home. | 维吉妮亚 你们回来啦 |
| [21:01] | How was Maw Maw? | 奶奶还好吗 |
| [21:03] | How do you mean that? | 你这话什么意思 |
| [21:04] | Alive or dead? | 活着还是挂了 |
| [21:06] | Alive. | 活着呢 |
| [21:07] | Very alive. | 简直是生龙活虎 |
| [21:09] | I have to go home now | 我得回家了 |
| [21:10] | and take some showers. | 回去洗个澡 |
| [21:16] | Maw Maw? | 奶奶 |
| [21:18] | What did you do to him | 你对他做了什么 |
| [21:20] | He passed out in the kitchen, | 他在厨房里醉得不省人事 |
| [21:21] | so I pulled him into my bedroom | 于是我就把他拖上了我的床 |
| [21:23] | and let him think he got lucky. | 他还以为自己走了桃花运了呢 |
| [21:25] | It was my little birthday gift to him. | 这也算是我对他生日的一点小小心意 |
| [21:26] | You didn’t let him know about the big surprise party | 你没说漏今晚我们要为他开 |
| [21:28] | we’re throwing him tonight, did you? | 惊喜生日会的事儿吧 |
| [21:29] | He has no idea. | 人家才不会呢 |