| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | So let’s take a look at what’s going on around the country. | 现在让我们来关注全国各地天气状况 |
| [00:05] | You know what? | 内啥 |
| [00:06] | Just bear with me while I take off these annoying pants. | 容我脱了这烦人的裤子先 |
| [00:10] | Looks like Scotch Wilkinson had a liquid lunch again. | 他又喝高了吧 |
| [00:14] | Another hurricane is headed for the tropics. | 另有一波飓风正在逼近热带地区 |
| [00:16] | Maybe they’ll name this one after my ex-wife. | 搞不好这次它会跟我前妻姓哦 |
| [00:19] | Call it Hurricane Bi… | 命名为飓风婊 |
| [00:20] | 服务器开小差了 请耐心等候 | |
| [00:22] | If you’re gonna spend two months’ salary on a ring, | 如果你要花两个月工资买戒指 |
| [00:24] | you want to blow your girl’s mind. | 那你肯定是想哄得妹子心花怒放 |
| [00:28] | You know what really makes my head explode? | 你知道我怒什么不 |
| [00:30] | The way society has conditioned women to base | 这个社会总把女人的价值 |
| [00:32] | their self-worth on their engagement ring. | 建立在订婚戒指价格的基础上 |
| [00:34] | I mean, I’m a free-thinking woman. | 拜托 我是个新世纪女性好吗 |
| [00:35] | 巴甫洛夫 条件反射理论创始人 后人延伸为巴甫洛夫把妹法 具体请百度 | |
| [00:35] | I’m not one of Pavlov’s dogs. | 我不信巴甫洛夫把妹法那套 |
| [00:38] | Ooh, cookies are ready. | 饼干好咯 |
| [00:42] | You’re not buying any of that “I don’t want a ring” Stuff, are you? | 你不会信”我才不想要戒指”那种鬼话吧 |
| [00:45] | No, I think that’s really how she feels. | 信啊 她那是真心的 |
| [00:48] | I know I haven’t given you a lot of fatherly advice, | 我的确很少给作为父亲应给的忠告 |
| [00:50] | but I can’t let you make this mistake. | 但这一次我不会让你错下去 |
| [00:52] | You got to buy Sabrina an engagement ring. | 你必须给塞布丽娜买订婚戒指 |
| [00:53] | Whoa, but they are so expensive. | 但戒指贵死了好吗 |
| [00:55] | You have to do whatever it takes. | 上刀山下油锅 不管怎样都要买 |
| [00:57] | I busted my butt doing extra work for your mother’s ring. | 当年为给你妈买 我兼职兼到死 |
| [01:00] | What kind of work? | 什么兼职 |
| [01:01] | Extra work. | 各种兼职 |
| [01:02] | T.J. Hooker was filming in town. | 话说那时陶大宇来镇上拍戏 |
| [01:04] | They paid me 50 bucks a day to lay in a creek | 剧组每天付我50块 |
| [01:05] | full of small but very angry turtles. | 让我躺在满是愤怒的小龟的小河里 |
| [01:07] | It was awful. | 吓死爹了 |
| [01:09] | Two things I learned: | 两个教训 |
| [01:10] | Captain Kirk cannot remember his lines | 柯克舰长总不记台词 |
| [01:11] | and he is not a hugger. | 而且讨厌和人拥抱 |
| [01:13] | But it doesn’t matter. | 但这不打紧 |
| [01:14] | It was worth it. | 但你妈喜欢那戒指 |
| [01:15] | Your mother loves that ring. | 吃什么苦我都值 |
| [01:17] | Maybe you’re right. | 有道理 |
| [01:18] | Of course he’s right. | 那当然 |
| [01:20] | A nice diamond ring gives you something pretty to focus on | 当你那满身是汗的肥老公压在你身上 |
| [01:23] | when your fat, sweaty husband’s wheezing on top of you | 喘得像头牛似的 |
| [01:25] | like a dying walrus. | 你还能靠钻戒转移下注意力 |
| [01:38] | That never gets old. | 真是百看不腻啊 |
| [01:41] | I was telling Jimmy how hard I worked for your… | 我刚还在和吉米说我努力赚钱为你买 |
| [01:43] | Hey, where’s your engagement ring? | 等等 你的订婚戒指呢 |
| [01:45] | Oh, I always take it off when I wash the dishes. | 我洗碗时都会取下来 |
| [01:47] | It’s probably by the sink. | 可能在水池边 |
| [01:48] | You’re gonna go get it, right? | 不然你去拿一下吧 |
| [01:50] | I’ll grab it in the morning. | 明早再拿吧 |
| [01:51] | I never wear it at night. | 晚上我又不戴 |
| [01:52] | But it’d be safer in your jewelry box. | 放在首饰盒里不是更安全吗 |
| [01:54] | No no, I’ll get it. | 别别 还是我去拿吧 |
| [02:22] | It’s not there. But I just remembered | 不在那儿 但我刚想起来 |
| [02:24] | that we’re about to clean a really nasty house last week, | 上周我们清洁了一个特别脏的房子 |
| [02:26] | so I left it in Rosa’s car. | 所以我摘下来放在罗莎的车里了 |
| [02:29] | Big Judy. | 胖朱迪 |
| [02:30] | I need my ring back. | 我得拿回我的戒指 |
| [02:31] | Burt saw I wasn’t wearing it. | 伯特注意到我没戴了 |
| [02:32] | Oh, you poor baby. | 可怜的孩子 |
| [02:34] | I’ve pawned this thing, like, 50 times and he’s never noticed. | 我都把这戒指当了几十次了 之前他都没发现 |
| [02:38] | Stupid Jimmy and his engagement. | 都怪吉米那熊孩子 定什么婚 |
| [02:40] | So, do you think I could possibly, just this once, | 跟你商量下 我能不能今天拿走戒指 |
| [02:44] | get the ring from you today | 等周五拿到支票了再付你钱 |
| [02:46] | and then I’ll pay you on Friday when I get my check? | 就这一次 |
| [02:48] | I can do a lot of things. | 我能的事儿才多着呢 |
| [02:50] | I can carry a refrigerator on my back. | 我上能扛冰箱 |
| [02:53] | I can recite pi up to 20 digits. | 下能把π背到小数点后20位 |
| [02:56] | And I’m a hell of a ventriloquist. | 还会说腹语 |
| [02:59] | But I can’t give you your ring back early. | 但我不能提早给你戒指 |
| [03:02] | Oh, come on. You know I’m good for it. | 拜托了 我信誉这么好 |
| [03:04] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [03:06] | I’m a businesswoman, Virginia. | 我是商人 维吉妮亚 |
| [03:10] | When you bring me my money, I’ll give you your ring. | 一手交钱 一手交货 |
| [03:17] | The fertility clinic is paying 50 bucks for every donation. | 男科医院说 每捐精一次就给50块 |
| [03:20] | Nothing says romance like buying your fiancee a ring | 靠让拉拉怀上你的孩子去赚钱 |
| [03:23] | with money you earned by knocking up dozens of lesbians. | 来给未婚妻买戒指 这可不浪漫 |
| [03:28] | Did you find the ring? | 你找着戒指没 |
| [03:29] | I did one better. | 找到更好的了 |
| [03:31] | I found | 我找到 |
| [03:32] | your favorite… | 你最爱的 |
| [03:33] | double-battered onion rings! | 双层洋葱圈了 |
| [03:35] | Oh, my God. | 额滴神 |
| [03:37] | You lost your engagement ring. | 你把订婚戒指弄丢了 |
| [03:39] | Calm down. | 淡定 |
| [03:39] | Look, I take it off all the time. It’ll turn up. | 我总是到处扔的 迟早会找到的 |
| [03:42] | I guarantee you I will find that ring by Friday. | 我保证周五前就能找到 |
| [03:46] | I can’t just sit around here and wait. | 我可不能这么坐着干等啊 |
| [03:48] | I went through a lot to get you that ring. | 为了给你买戒指 我多苦逼啊 |
| [03:49] | I got hepatitis C from one of those T.J. Hooker turtles. | 因为那些小王八 我都得上丙型肝炎了 |
| [03:53] | We need to start retracing your steps. | 咱俩回忆下你都上哪儿啦 |
| [03:55] | You’ve been on this couch, right? | 你坐过这个沙发吧 |
| [03:57] | I found it. | 找到啦 |
| [03:58] | The ring? | 戒指吗 |
| [03:58] | No. A position I’m qualified for: | 不 一个我够格的职位 |
| [04:00] | Psychological and Medical Research Guinea Pig. | 心理与医学天竺鼠研究实验 |
| [04:02] | Look at this cute cartoon of a patient on a gurney | 看看这个被绑在床上的卡通病人 |
| [04:04] | with dollar signs for eyes. That could be me! | 眼里还闪着”钱”光呢 我也行 |
| [04:04] | 急需用钱? 心理与医学天竺鼠研究实验 | |
| [04:08] | Okay, Mr. Chance. | 吉斯先生 |
| [04:09] | And which of these flowers do you find prettier? | 你觉得哪一盆花更美 |
| [04:15] | That one? | 那盆 |
| [04:21] | Okay. I think we’re all about done here. | 我们差不多完事了 |
| [04:25] | I’ll be right back with your check. | 我马上去给你拿支票 |
| [04:29] | Okay, let’s get started here. | 好 我们可以开始了 |
| [04:34] | Why are you naked? | 你脱成这样干啥 |
| [04:35] | Because you told me to get naked. | 你让我脱的呀 |
| [04:37] | No, I didn’t. | 我没有 |
| [04:39] | Yes, you did. | 你有 |
| [04:40] | And then you shocked me. | 然后你还电击我了 |
| [04:42] | A lot. | 很多次 |
| [04:48] | Hubert, stop stealing my white coats and scaring people. | 赫伯特 别穿着我的白大褂吓人了 |
| [04:50] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [04:51] | This is my brother. | 这是我弟弟 |
| [04:52] | He’s supposed to be staying in my car while I work. | 我工作时 他应该呆在我车里的 |
| [04:54] | I’m not supposed to be staying in your car. | 我不应该呆在你车里 |
| [04:56] | You’re supposed to be staying in my car. | 你应该呆在我车里 |
| [04:58] | I’m the doctor. | 我才是医生 |
| [05:00] | Jimmy, which one of us is the real doctor? | 吉米 我俩谁是真医生 |
| [05:04] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [05:10] | Hmm. Interesting. | 真有趣 |
| [05:18] | Come on, Burt. | 别这样 伯特 |
| [05:20] | You can’t tear apart the whole house. | 你总不能把房子拆了吧 |
| [05:22] | I need to take a shower. | 我要洗澡了 |
| [05:24] | The ring could be in here, Virginia. | 戒指可能就在这里 维吉妮亚 |
| [05:25] | Just let me look. | 我得仔细看看 |
| [05:26] | Babe, we need our bathroom back. | 亲爱的 我们急用洗手间 |
| [05:27] | My 86-year-old grandmother’s | 奶奶一把大年纪 |
| [05:28] | outside peeing in the neighbors’ bushes. | 你怎么忍心看她在邻居家的灌木丛里尿尿 |
| [05:31] | One thing has nothing to do with the other, Virginia, | 这两件事不相干 维吉妮亚 |
| [05:33] | and you know it. | 这点你最清楚了 |
| [05:34] | This is insane. | 简直是疯了 |
| [05:36] | We can’t tear apart the whole house. | 我们不能真把家都拆了吧 |
| [05:38] | When the Bronsteins bring over their tomatoes this year, | 要是今年邻居再送西红柿过来 |
| [05:41] | they go straight in the garbage. | 直接扔垃圾桶吧 |
| [05:43] | Burt, please don’t drive yourself crazy over this. | 伯特 别纠结了 |
| [05:45] | I promise you the ring will turn up. | 我保证戒指一定能找回来的 |
| [05:51] | I’ll take this one. | 我就买这个了 |
| [05:59] | You got to be kidding me. | 开什么国际玩笑 |
| [06:00] | 800 bucks? | 这要卖800块 |
| [06:02] | I mean, that’s too much. | 贵得离谱了 |
| [06:03] | Can’t you cut me a deal? | 不能给我打点折吗 |
| [06:04] | Nope. That’s one of my top earners. | 不行 它可是我的摇钱树 |
| [06:07] | I’ve bought and sold that from the same person over 20 times. | 有个人在我这把它买进卖出了20多次 |
| [06:11] | Who’d be stupid enough to keep buying the same ring? | 谁会蠢到总是买同一个戒指啊 |
| [06:13] | I can’t tell you that. | 这我不能说 |
| [06:14] | When I became a member of the Pawnshop Owners Association, | 加入”当铺业主协会”的那一天 |
| [06:18] | I took an oath of confidentiality. | 我可是立过保密誓言的 |
| [06:21] | I could lose my license. | 我可不想丢了营业执照 |
| [06:23] | All I can say is | 我只能跟你说 |
| [06:25] | you couldn’t get me to tell you | 就算你把我一路拖到”维吉妮亚”州 |
| [06:27] | if you dragged me from here to “Virginia”. | 你也别想从我这打听到一个字 |
| [06:32] | Not a “chance”. | 一点儿”吉会”都没有 |
| [06:35] | You hear what I’m saying to you? | 听懂了吗 |
| [06:36] | Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can’t help me. | 懂了 懂了 不想卖给我就算了 |
| [06:38] | You don’t have to be a jerk about it. | 说这些废话有啥用 |
| [06:47] | Hey. Is your mom home? | 你妈在家吗 |
| [06:49] | I’m dying to know if she found her ring. | 我都急死了 她找到戒指没 |
| [06:50] | I haven’t seen her. | 我没见着她 |
| [06:52] | Well, I guess I’ll work out. | 总会有法子的 |
| [06:53] | Get rid of some of this nervous energy. | 我得先把这身火气泻泻 |
| [06:56] | What’s going on there? | 你干啥呢 |
| [06:57] | Oh, I didn’t make enough money from the shock tests | 我从电击实验那儿搞到的钱不够买钻戒 |
| [06:59] | to pay for the ring, so I got to do some more experiments. | 所以又报了几个实验项目 |
| [07:02] | It’s actually really important work, | 其实这些活还挺有意义的 |
| [07:03] | and I’m gonna be able to help people. | 我可以帮到不少人 |
| [07:05] | I’m getting paid to test | 有人雇我来测试 |
| [07:05] | this new anti-seizure mouth spray. | 这种新型抗癫痫口腔喷雾剂的效果 |
| [07:07] | But you don’t get seizures. | 可你又不癫痫 |
| [07:09] | Well, apparently seizures are a side effect for these pills | 他们也雇我测试了另一些药片 |
| [07:11] | that I’m also being paid to take. | 副作用就是会引发癫痫 |
| [07:12] | You really took my advice and went for it. | 我的话你是真听进去了 |
| [07:14] | I’m proud of you. | 我为你感到骄傲 |
| [07:19] | Look at you. | 瞧啊 |
| [07:20] | Doing whatever it takes! | 山无棱天地绝也要坚持到底 |
| [07:28] | Hello? | 哪位 |
| [07:29] | You better collect some cash | 你最好弄点钱 |
| [07:31] | and get your butt down here. | 赶紧滚到我这儿来 |
| [07:32] | Somebody is interested in buying your ring. | 有人想买你的戒指 |
| [07:35] | – Who? – Now, you know I can’t tell you that. | -哪个王八蛋 -这我可不能说 |
| [07:38] | You may think I’m a “son”… of a bitch, | 你也许会觉得 我是个熊”孩子” |
| [07:43] | but there’s no way you can | 但你别想 |
| [07:45] | “jimmy” the information out of me. | 从我这”吉”出一个字 |
| [07:48] | You see where I’m going with this? | 听懂了吗 |
| [07:50] | Of course. I’m not dumb. | 当然懂了 老娘又不傻 |
| [07:51] | You’re not gonna help me. | 你不想帮我就算了 |
| [07:56] | I couldn’t risk someone else buying that ring. | 我可不想戒指被别人买走 |
| [07:58] | I had to do whatever it took to get it back. | 所以必须不惜手段把戒指弄回来 |
| [08:01] | That meant getting in and out of the house | 也就是说 我要神不知鬼不觉地 |
| [08:02] | without anyone noticing. | 在自家房子里顺点东西 |
| [08:38] | Works fast. | 疗效快 |
| [08:40] | Tastes minty. | 口感好 |
| [08:42] | Come on, those candlesticks got to be enough. | 这两个烛台还不够吗 |
| [08:44] | Not quite. | 还不够 |
| [08:47] | That is a rare director’s | 这是自家录的导演剪辑版《狂犬惊魂》 |
| [08:49] | cut edition of Cujo on VHS. | 市面上很少见 |
| [08:51] | It’s only 20 minutes long. | 虽说只录了20分钟 |
| [08:52] | I guess he didn’t think much of the dog’s performance. | 但里面狂犬的戏都全了 |
| [08:55] | Someone definitely is gonna want to buy 20 minutes of Cujo. | 肯定有人愿意买回去一看的 |
| [08:58] | What else you got? | 还有什么宝贝 |
| [09:01] | That thing work? | 这玩意儿还能使吗 |
| [09:02] | It gets hot. | 能加热 |
| [09:04] | Hot is good. | 能加热就成 |
| [09:08] | You got a deal. | 成交 |
| [09:16] | Burt, what happened? | 伯特 出什么事了 |
| [09:17] | We got robbed, Virginia. | 维吉妮亚 咱家进贼了 |
| [09:19] | Somebody came into this house. | 有人偷偷摸摸地来过我们家 |
| [09:21] | Took several odds and ends. | 顺走了几件东西 |
| [09:22] | Bastards even got some knickknacks. | 这群混蛋连小东西都不放过 |
| [09:24] | Like what? | 他们偷了什么 |
| [09:26] | So far we know they got our toaster, | 现在失踪的只有面包机 |
| [09:28] | our copy of Cujo, and Maw Maw’s candlesticks. | 《狂犬惊魂》的录像带和奶奶的烛台 |
| [09:30] | How could you even notice that stuff was gone? | 你怎么发现这些东西不见了的 |
| [09:32] | How could I not? | 我怎么能不发现 |
| [09:33] | They’re all part of my workout routine. | 它们都是我每日健身的必备品啊 |
| [09:36] | I like to start my workout with some air-drumming. | 我健身一般是从对着空气敲鼓开始的 |
| [09:39] | And then when I’m loose, | 活动开筋骨后 |
| [09:40] | I usually up the weight with Maw Maw’s candlesticks. | 我一般会用奶奶的烛台来加把劲 |
| [09:44] | But today the candlesticks were gone. | 但今天 烛台消失了 |
| [09:46] | So I decided to skip my drumming | 所以我决定不打鼓了 |
| [09:47] | and go straight to my bicep curls. | 直接开练二头肌 |
| [09:51] | Normally, I use the toaster as a flex mirror | 练二头肌时 |
| [09:52] | when I do my soup and sauce curls. | 我一般把面包机当成镜子 |
| [09:58] | But today I couldn’t find the toaster anywhere. | 但今天面包机也无影无踪了 |
| [10:00] | And I couldn’t use the bathroom mirror | 而我又用不了浴室的镜子 |
| [10:02] | because I didn’t think of that until just now. | 因为当时我没想到那一茬儿 |
| [10:04] | So I decided to move straight to my TV squats. | 于是我只能直接跳到电视机深蹲环节了 |
| [10:08] | I keep track of my reps by reading off the names of tapes. | 我是通过依次念录像带名字来计数的 |
| [10:11] | Children of the Corn. | 《玉米田的小孩》 |
| [10:14] | Halloween. | 《万圣节》 |
| [10:15] | I arrange them by the ferocity of the killer. | 我是根据凶手的暴虐程度排片的 |
| [10:17] | 《狂犬惊魂》《玉米田的小孩》《万圣节》《黑色星期五》 均为史蒂芬·金的恐怖电影 | |
| [10:17] | Friday the 13th. | 《黑色星期五》 |
| [10:19] | And today, when I got to Cujo and it wasn’t there, | 今天数到《狂犬惊魂》时 它却不见了 |
| [10:22] | I realized the candlesticks and the toaster | 我这才明白 烛台 面包机 |
| [10:23] | weren’t just missing… | 也不是平白无故消失的 |
| [10:25] | We got robbed! | 我们是遭抢了 |
| [10:26] | We got robbed! | 我们被抢了 |
| [10:27] | I heard you the first time. | 说一遍就行了 |
| [10:29] | Oh! There you are! | 你回来了啊 |
| [10:31] | Hello, Ross. | 你好 罗斯 |
| [10:32] | Hello, sweet Virginia. | 你好 甜美美的维吉妮亚 |
| [10:34] | Is this really necessary? | 有必要搞这么大动静吗 |
| [10:35] | That stuff was only worth $78.25. | 那些破烂加起来也就值78块2毛5分 |
| [10:38] | Um… or so. | 差不多就这价吧 |
| [10:40] | Now, normally we don’t dust for prints on stolen VHS tapes, | 一般我们是不会为了盘家录影带去收集指纹的 |
| [10:44] | but since it’s you, I did. | 但为了你 我愿意 |
| [10:46] | Plus, I dusted the whole house because it needed it. | 而且这房子也需要扫扫灰了 |
| [10:48] | I’m the kind of guy who’s not afraid to do household chores. | 谁叫我是不畏繁重家务的居家型好男人呢 |
| [10:51] | The little guy’s been awesome. | 这小家伙人真好 |
| [10:53] | I never saw Kindergarten Cop, | 我虽没看过《葫芦娃》 |
| [10:54] | but I assume this is what he was like. | 但我相信他就是那样的小英雄 |
| [10:56] | Oh, I’m just getting warmed up. | 这些不过是小菜一碟 |
| [10:58] | Once the judge gets out of his Zumba class, | 等法官上完尊巴课[健身舞蹈] |
| [10:59] | I’m gonna get him to sign some warrants | 我就让他批搜查证 |
| [11:01] | so that we can search local pawnshops. | 好去搜查镇上的当铺 |
| [11:04] | I’m gonna go see if there’s anything else missing. | 我去看看还有没有其他东西丢失 |
| [11:05] | I counted 17 pairs of underwear in your drawer. | 我数了你抽屉里的内衣 总共是17套 |
| [11:08] | If it should be more, let me know. | 少了的话要告诉我哦 |
| [11:12] | Big Judy, I need all my stuff back. | 胖朱迪 我要拿回我的东西 |
| [11:13] | Here. Take the ring. | 戒指给你 |
| [11:15] | Girl, you lose this ring more than Bilbo Baggins. | 姐们儿 比尔博·巴金斯丢戒指都没你丢得勤 |
| [11:22] | Maw Maw must have put them in there. | 一定是奶奶把它们放在这儿的 |
| [11:24] | She’s always doing something crazy. | 她老干这些不着调的事 |
| [11:26] | I agree. | 同意 |
| [11:28] | That old lady’s a nut. | 那老太婆是个疯子 |
| [11:29] | Every time I go in the bathroom, | 我每次去卫生间 |
| [11:31] | I catch her above the sink | 都能看到她在洗手池的另一边 |
| [11:32] | trying to copy everything I do. | 我做啥 她做啥 |
| [11:34] | Case… | 结… |
| [11:36] | closed. | 案 |
| [11:38] | Unless you guys want to look around, | 除非你们还想再四处看看 |
| [11:39] | make sure nothing else is missing. | 确保没有其它东西丢失 |
| [11:40] | Virginia’s engagement ring is missing. | 维吉妮亚的订婚戒指不见了 |
| [11:42] | Missing? Or deliberately hidden | 不见了 还是因为有些不便开口的麻烦 |
| [11:44] | because there’s a little trouble in paradise? | 故意藏起来了 |
| [11:46] | There’s no trouble, Ross. It’s just missing. | 没有麻烦 罗斯 就是不见了 |
| [11:48] | But we don’t know that. | 但也说不定哦 |
| [11:50] | I mean, originally you said | 一开始你说 |
| [11:50] | you left it by the kitchen sink. | 你把它放在厨房水池边 |
| [11:52] | Maybe you did, | 或许你确实丢那儿了 |
| [11:53] | and somebody came in here and took it! | 然后有人进来拿走了 |
| [11:57] | I’m gonna go hit the local pawnshops. | 我要去镇上当铺看看 |
| [11:58] | My phone has an app that lets me know where they all are. | 我手机里有个定位当铺位置的应用 |
| [12:03] | – That’s a picture of you in your underpants on a fur rug. – What? | -这是你穿着内裤坐在毛毯上的照片 -啥 |
| [12:08] | That’s peculiar. | 太奇怪了 |
| [12:09] | How’d that get there? | 怎么会翻出这照片 |
| [12:41] | What the hell? | 什么情况 |
| [12:43] | What the hell? | 什么情况 |
| [12:45] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [12:46] | Were you stealing that painting? | 偷画吗 |
| [12:48] | I am not stealing it. | 不是偷 |
| [12:50] | I am borrowing it to pawn | 我是借去典当 |
| [12:52] | so I can get my engagement ring back. | 好换回我的订婚戒指 |
| [12:54] | I already took all the good stuff | 我已经把家里所有好东西 |
| [12:55] | out of my house and it backfired. | 都拿出去了 结果适得其反 |
| [12:57] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [12:58] | If you must know, | 如果你非要知道的话 |
| [13:00] | my family has a little bit of a body hair issue. | 我们家族有点体毛问题 |
| [13:02] | And believe me, this is nothing. | 相信我 这没什么 |
| [13:03] | I got an aunt that looks like Borat. | 我有个阿姨体毛多得跟猩猩似的 |
| [13:05] | You get weirder and weirder every week. | 你真是越来越奇怪了 |
| [13:07] | Does Jimmy know about this? | 吉米知道吗 |
| [13:09] | No, of course not. | 当然不知道 |
| [13:10] | Good, so here’s the deal: | 好 我们做个交易 |
| [13:12] | you let me pawn this stuff and Jimmy never finds out | 你让我去当这东西 吉米则永远不会发现 |
| [13:14] | that he’s marrying into the Sasquatch family. | 自己将要和一个野人家族结合 |
| [13:16] | Fine. | 成交 |
| [13:18] | Clay Aiken! | 春哥保佑啊 |
| [13:21] | Hey, Sabrina. | 塞布丽娜 |
| [13:23] | You bring some hair to sell? | 又来卖体毛吗 |
| [13:25] | Uh… not-not today. | 今天不卖 |
| [13:28] | This has to be worth enough to get my ring back | 这东西的价值肯定够换回我的戒指 |
| [13:30] | because these are real fake breasts. Mm-hmm. | 因为这些是货真价实的假胸 |
| [13:33] | I’ll give you $200 for these. | 我出200美金 |
| [13:36] | – Yes! – But it doesn’t matter | -太好了 -但没用了 |
| [13:37] | ’cause somebody done came and bought your ring. | 因为有人已买走了你的戒指 |
| [13:39] | What? No! That can’t be true. | 什么 不 不可能 |
| [13:43] | It’s the exact cut and clarity | 这切口和纯度 |
| [13:44] | of the kidney stone I passed in 2008. | 跟我2008年排出的肾结石一模一样 |
| [13:51] | Someday, some lucky girl is gonna get my wiener diamond. | 将来总会有个幸运姑娘得到我的维也纳香肠钻石 |
| [14:04] | How are you gonna give it to her? | 你准备怎么给她 |
| [14:06] | Well, I was thinking about getting down on one knee | 我想单膝跪地 |
| [14:08] | and then slowly opening the box. | 然后缓缓打开盒子 |
| [14:11] | Dude, that is the missionary position of proposals. | 哥们儿 这么求婚太老套了 |
| [14:15] | You gotta do better than that. | 你得多花点心思 |
| [14:16] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [14:17] | I can’t just hand it to her. That’s lame. | 我不能就这么给她 太逊了 |
| [14:20] | Well, luckily for you, | 算你走运 |
| [14:22] | I’ve spent a lot of time thinking of cool ways | 我曾花了大把时间苦思冥想 |
| [14:24] | to propose to Sabrina. | 各种向塞布丽娜求婚的创意 |
| [14:26] | Three of them can be done in this store. | 有三个可以在店里实现 |
| [14:29] | Do you know any members of the band “The Knack”? | 你跟黄品源熟不 |
| [14:32] | And would Sabrina be willing to change her name to “Sharona”? | 塞布丽娜愿意改名叫小薇不 |
| [14:35] | No. | 都不 |
| [14:36] | All right, two of them can be done in this store. | 行 那就还剩俩主意 |
| [14:43] | Okay. | 好 |
| [14:45] | One more glass of wine | 再喝一杯红酒 |
| [14:47] | and then I’ll have the courage to tell Burt | 然后我就可以鼓起勇气告诉伯特 |
| [14:49] | I lost my engagement ring. | 我把订婚戒指弄丢了 |
| [14:51] | First of all, that’s tequila. | 首先 那是龙舌兰 |
| [14:53] | Here’s an idea. | 我有个主意 |
| [14:55] | You think Burt would notice if we got a ring | 如果我们拿个跟你戒指差不多的戒指 |
| [14:57] | that kind of looked like yours? | 你觉得伯特能看出来吗 |
| [14:58] | Of course not, he’s a guy. | 当然看不出 男人哪会注意这些 |
| [15:00] | They can identify our nipples from 40 feet away | 他们能在40英尺外透过羊毛衫 |
| [15:02] | through a wool sweater, | 认出我们的咪咪 |
| [15:03] | but they have no idea what our rings look like. | 但他们对我们戒指的样子毫无概念 |
| [15:05] | So why not try this? | 那何不试试这个呢 |
| [15:07] | Because I’ll know. | 因为我自己知道 |
| [15:09] | Oh, I love that ring. | 我爱那枚戒指 |
| [15:11] | Burt worked so hard to get it. | 伯特为了买它拼命工作 |
| [15:15] | And it’s always been there for me, | 它陪我走过了多少风风雨雨 |
| [15:17] | whether I needed to look at it to remind myself how much he loved me… | 只要我想 就能看到它 就想到伯特多爱我 |
| [15:22] | or pawn it to pay for groceries. | 缺钱时还能把它当了去买日用品 |
| [15:25] | Oh, I can’t believe it’s gone. | 不敢相信它不在了 |
| [15:29] | I was sure it was safe to pawn | 我本觉得当掉肯定不会有问题的 |
| [15:32] | because it’s so cheap and dinged up, I… | 因为它那么廉价 |
| [15:35] | and I knew no one else would ever want it. | 我以为绝不会有人想买走它 |
| [15:40] | That’s sweet. | 太甜蜜了 |
| [15:42] | I mean, it’s not just a ring; it… | 它不仅仅是一枚戒指 它… |
| [15:45] | kind of represents your marriage. | 是你们婚姻的象征 |
| [15:47] | Why? Because no one would ever want it? | 怎么说 因为绝不会有人想要吗 |
| [15:49] | No, no, just the opposite. | 不不 正好相反 |
| [15:51] | All I want is a marriage like yours. | 我想要的就是像你们这样的婚姻 |
| [15:53] | One of the reasons I fell in love with Jimmy | 我爱上吉米的原因之一就是 |
| [15:55] | is the possibility of getting that. | 得到这种婚姻的可能性 |
| [15:57] | That’s why you fell in love with him? | 这就是你爱上他的原因 |
| [15:59] | Because Burt and I have never been able to figure that one out. | 伯特和我一直都不明白你怎么就爱他了 |
| [16:03] | Hey! There you are. | 你在这儿啊 |
| [16:05] | Uh, Sabrina, | 塞布丽娜 |
| [16:07] | would you do me the honor | 你愿意 |
| [16:08] | of reaching your hand into this barrel | 把手伸进桶里 |
| [16:10] | and grasping a pickle? | 抓一个泡菜吗 |
| [16:11] | No, old people are always sticking their wrinkly hands in there. | 不 老年人才爱把满是皱纹的手伸进去 |
| [16:14] | It’s gross. | 太恶心了 |
| [16:14] | Listen. | 听着 |
| [16:16] | I was just with your mother | 我之前跟你妈谈过 |
| [16:17] | and I realized that an engagement ring | 我觉得一枚订婚戒指 |
| [16:20] | is more than just metal and a stone. | 不只是金属和石头而已 |
| [16:22] | I know what I said before, | 我知道我之前说过的话 |
| [16:24] | but if you got me one, | 但如果你送姐一枚 |
| [16:27] | I wouldn’t complain. | 姐还是不会拒绝的 |
| [16:41] | What the hell? | 什么玩意 |
| [16:43] | Congratulations! | 恭喜一对新人 |
| [16:45] | I’m sorry, I’m gonna need that ring back. | 抱歉 把戒指还我 |
| [16:50] | Where’s Sabrina? | 塞布丽娜呢 |
| [16:51] | I can’t give her this ring, Frank. | 我不能送她这枚戒指 弗兰克 |
| [16:53] | Why n… | 为啥不 |
| [16:54] | Why not? | 为啥不行 |
| [16:55] | Because when she didn’t want a ring, | 因为之前她不想要戒指 |
| [16:57] | this dinky little thing would have been fine. | 这么小克拉的也就将就 |
| [16:59] | It’s better than nothing. | 比没有强 |
| [17:00] | But now that she actually wants a ring, | 但现在她想要了 |
| [17:02] | I’m gonna have to do better than this. | 我得买个体面点儿的 |
| [17:06] | Excuse me. | 你刚说啥 |
| [17:10] | Hey, Big Judy, | 你好 胖朱迪 |
| [17:11] | I have to sell this ring back. | 我要把戒指再卖给你 |
| [17:13] | Busted, dirtbag! | 卑鄙无耻之徒 |
| [17:15] | I mean, “Busted, dirtbag!” | 我说 卑鄙无耻之徒 |
| [17:16] | You’re under arrest for trafficking in stolen property. | 你因贩卖赃物被捕了 |
| [17:20] | What? | 什么 |
| [17:22] | Oh, no… this is all my fault. | 不 这全是我的错 |
| [17:25] | That’s what I was hoping. | 我一猜就是内贼 |
| [17:27] | Don’t worry; once you’re in jail with your son, | 别担心 你跟你儿子进去以后 |
| [17:29] | I’ll be here to comfort Virginia. | 我会来安慰维吉妮亚的 |
| [17:31] | I didn’t break any laws. | 我没有犯法 |
| [17:32] | I just told Jimmy to do whatever it takes to get a ring. | 我就是告诉吉米不择手段也要弄到戒指 |
| [17:34] | I bet Virginia really did leave hers in the kitchen | 一定是维吉妮亚把戒指落在厨房里 |
| [17:37] | and Jimmy grabbed it. | 吉米顺手拿走了 |
| [17:38] | And then to cover his tracks, | 然后为掩盖罪行 |
| [17:39] | he lied about doing medical testing. | 谎称是做医疗测试赚来的 |
| [17:41] | Oh, that boy may not be good at a lot of things, | 那孩子干啥啥不行 |
| [17:43] | but he sure can fake a seizure. | 装癫痫还挺在行 |
| [17:45] | Maybe that’ll help him in prison. | 可能那在监狱还能帮帮他 |
| [17:47] | Bail is set for $500. | 保释金是五百块 |
| [17:49] | That’s a lot of lettuce. Street talk for “Cash.” | 这可是大把银子啊 也就是”美元” |
| [17:52] | Where the hell am I gonna get that kind of scratch? | 我上哪儿弄这么多大洋去 |
| [17:54] | What’s “Scratch”? | “大洋”是啥 |
| [17:56] | I need to pawn this. | 我要当这个 |
| [17:57] | You white folks and high cholesterol | 你们这些白人是打了鸡血吗 |
| [18:00] | are gonna be the end of me. | 不带这么害人的啊 |
| [18:05] | How many times do I have to tell you I didn’t steal the ring? | 还要我说几遍我没偷戒指 |
| [18:08] | I paid for it with my medical research money. | 我是用医疗研究赚的钱买的 |
| [18:10] | Well, hopefully they were looking for a cure for lying! | 真希望他们能找到治撒谎的法子 |
| [18:13] | This is crazy! | 这太疯狂了 |
| [18:15] | Burt… | 伯特 |
| [18:16] | I have to tell you something terrible. | 我有很严重的事要跟你讲 |
| [18:17] | It’s really, really bad. | 非常非常严重 |
| [18:20] | Virginia, hey. I found your ring. | 维吉妮亚 我找到你戒指了 |
| [18:23] | How did you…? | 你怎么… |
| [18:23] | Well, I was at the new house and I just found it underneath a chair. | 我在新房子里的一张椅子下找到的 |
| [18:26] | Oh, my God, that’s so great! | 天啊 太棒了 |
| [18:28] | Oh, but I have to go talk to Jimmy. | 我得跟吉米谈谈 |
| [18:30] | Oh, what was the terrible news you wanted to tell me? | 你有什么严重的事要告诉我 |
| [18:33] | I… heard an awful tabloid rumor | 我 听说一个关于约翰·特拉沃尔塔的 |
| [18:36] | about John Travolta, | 傻叉八卦 |
| [18:37] | but it’s probably better if you don’t hear it. | 但你还是别听比较好 |
| [18:38] | Say no more. La-la-la-la-la… | 人家不听 啦啦啦啦 |
| [18:41] | How did you get this? | 你怎么拿到的 |
| [18:42] | Big Judy told me somebody returned it. | 胖朱迪说有人又抵押回来了 |
| [18:44] | I’ve been taking her ventriloquism class down at the community center. | 我在社区中心一楼有在上她的腹语课 |
| [18:47] | I’m getting pretty good. | 我还说得不错呢 |
| [18:53] | Dad, it’s okay. | 爸 没关系 |
| [18:54] | No, it’s not. | 不 有关系 |
| [18:55] | I should have believed you when you said you didn’t steal it. | 你说你没偷的时候 我该相信你的 |
| [18:58] | I don’t want to think about what happened to you in prison. | 我都不敢想象你在监狱受的苦 |
| [18:59] | I was on a bench at the police station. | 我在警察局的长椅上坐着 |
| [19:02] | They gave me a sandwich, Turkey. | 他们给我三明治 火鸡肉 |
| [19:05] | Don’t try and spare my feelings, Jimmy. | 不用安慰我 吉米 |
| [19:06] | I don’t deserve it. | 我不值得 |
| [19:08] | Tomorrow, you and I are gonna go down to that lab | 明天咱爷俩去那实验室 |
| [19:10] | and do whatever tests they have. | 有啥医疗测试咱都上 |
| [19:12] | I’ll never be able to get you your innocence back, | 我永远也换不回你的清白了 |
| [19:15] | but I can at least help you get the money for another ring. | 但至少可以帮你赚钱买戒指 |
| [19:20] | You don’t have to do this, Dad. | 爸 你没必要这么做 |
| [19:23] | No, I want to. | 不 我要赎罪 |
| [19:24] | I’m not scared of a little scientific testing. | 我才不怕这小小的科学检测 |
| [19:28] | Think we’ll actually feel | 我们真会感觉到蛋蛋 |
| [19:29] | our testicles recede into our abdomens? | 缩回肚子里吗 |
| [19:31] | Well, the pamphlet says | 宣传册上说 |
| [19:33] | it would feel like two hot air balloons | 感觉像是两个热气球 |
| [19:35] | floating up into the sky. | 飞向天空一样 |
| [19:38] | I think I’m gonna go into the bathroom, | 我得先去趟厕所 |
| [19:38] | say good-bye to them one more time. | 跟它们诀别 |
| [19:40] | You know, wish them a safe trip | 祝愿它们旅途愉快 |
| [19:41] | in case I don’t see them for a while. | 万一我以后再也见不到它俩了 |
| [19:44] | Godspeed, Heckle and Schmekel. | 祝你们好运 大蛋和二蛋 |
| [19:49] | Jimmy… | 吉米 |
| [19:52] | I’ve been thinking. | 我考虑很久 |
| [19:56] | I want you to give my ring to Sabrina. | 你把我的戒指给塞布丽娜吧 |
| [19:59] | Well, you can’t do that. | 你不能这么做 |
| [20:00] | It’s your ring. | 这是你的戒指 |
| [20:01] | So, now it’ll be a family ring. | 现在是咱家传家戒指了 |
| [20:04] | I want to pass it down to you. | 我想把戒指传给你 |
| [20:06] | And someday, you can pass it on to Hope. | 有朝一日 你再传给喜旺 |
| [20:12] | That’s more special than any ring you can buy. | 这比你买的任何戒指都有意义 |
| [20:14] | And I happen to know | 我碰巧知道 |
| [20:16] | that this is exactly the kind of ring Sabrina wants. | 这正是塞布丽娜想要的那一种 |
| [20:21] | Thanks, Mom. That’s sweet. | 谢谢你 老妈 你真好 |
| [20:25] | Oh, I’m glad you caught me before I took those pills. | 幸好你在我吃药前就告诉我了 |
| [20:39] | Hey, why are you guys hugging? | 你俩干啥抱在一起 |
| [20:48] | Usually, when you get advice from a lot of different people, | 通常如果有很多人给你意见时 |
| [20:51] | they can’t all be right. | 他们不可能都是对的 |
| [20:55] | But this time they were. | 但这一次他们都是对的 |
| [20:58] | Dad was right that Sabrina really wanted an engagement ring. | 老爸说塞布丽娜真想要戒指 这是对的 |
| [21:02] | Frank was right that how you present the ring | 弗兰克说求婚的方法 |
| [21:04] | is as important as the ring itself. | 和戒指本身一样重要 那是对的 |
| [21:14] | And Mom was right about how much Sabrina would like | 老妈说 塞布丽娜十分乐意得到 |
| [21:16] | getting her ring. | 她的戒指也是对的 |
| [21:21] | And it turns out those guys at the medical lab | 而医学实验室那些家伙告知我们的 |
| [21:23] | were right about those side effects. | 药片的副作用也是对的 |
| [21:25] | How far up do you think they went? | 小哥俩到哪里了 |
| [21:31] | Right about here. | 差不多到这儿了 |