| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | I’m not sure she’s ready for her first sleepover. | 我觉得她还没准备好玩通宵 |
| [00:04] | Maybe I should cancel my bachelor party. | 也许我应该取消我的告别单身派对 |
| [00:06] | No, then I’ll feel guilty about having my bachelorette party, | 别啊 那样我的告别单身派对也玩不踏实 |
| [00:08] | and I won’t be able to enjoy watching a… | 而且我都不能安心观赏 |
| [00:10] | very muscular half-man, half-tripod | 有着大家伙的肌肉猛男 |
| [00:12] | gyrate in my no-fly zone. | 在我菊花附近徘徊 |
| [00:14] | Well, there is not going to be any of that happening at my party. | 我的派对才不会出现那种节目 |
| [00:17] | We’re just gonna be hanging out, playing Mad Libs, | 我们只会聚一聚 玩玩填词游戏 |
| [00:19] | see whats liket’o play beer pong sober– never done that. | 再玩喝酒游戏 我们还没玩过那个呢 |
| [00:21] | And then, after a while, if we’re still going strong, | 如果玩完了我们还兴致很高 |
| [00:24] | maybe we’ll check out jay Leno’s take on the day’s events. | 那就接着再看壹周立波秀 |
| [00:26] | Oh, come on. Don’t make me do this alone. | 别啊 别让我一个人玩过火的呀 |
| [00:28] | When we compare notes, we should both feel shameful. | 等事后交流心得 我们应该都觉得羞耻才对 |
| [00:31] | No, I mean… the last time I went wild, | 不 但是上次我放纵自己时 |
| [00:33] | I knocked up a serial killer. | 我搞大了一个连环杀人凶手的肚子啊 |
| [00:35] | In fact, every time I’ve gotten wild, I’ve made bad decisions. | 其实每次我放纵自我 都会有无法直视的后果 |
| [00:38] | In high school, I became a Goth freak | 高中时我暴走成了哥特非主流 |
| [00:39] | and I pierced my wang-doodle. | 还在菊花附近打了孔 |
| [00:40] | That explains the whistling noise | 怪不得我们上次激情时 |
| [00:42] | when we were getting frisky the other night. | 听到了奇怪的口哨声 |
| [00:43] | You know, I thought somebody put on the teakettle. | 我还以为是水烧开了呢 |
| [00:45] | Nope. | 非也 |
| [00:46] | I’ve got a tiny, whistling hole in my wang-doodle. | 是我菊花附近那个能吹口哨的小洞 |
| [00:58] | What’s that? | 那是什么 |
| [01:00] | Uh, nothing. Just some… | 没什么 只是 |
| [01:02] | boring girl stuff I bought for the bachelorette party. | 我为告别单身派对买的无聊女性用品 |
| [01:05] | So boring you had to hide it in the vegetable crisper? | 无聊到你得把它们藏到冰箱蔬菜格里 |
| [01:11] | Okay, fine. | 败给你了 |
| [01:13] | It’s a bag of penises. | 这是一包小弟弟 |
| [01:16] | Whose are they, and why do they have to be kept crisp? | 都是谁的 干嘛放在冰箱里 是要冻脆点么 |
| [01:18] | I went to the novelty store to pick up some things for tonight, | 我去创意礼品店给今晚派对采购 |
| [01:20] | and I couldn’t stop myself! | 一买就停不下来 |
| [01:22] | They had penis hats, glasses, socks. | 那儿有卖小弟弟帽子 杯子还有袜子 |
| [01:24] | But not all of it was dirty stuff. | 但那里的货品不是全都这么下流的 |
| [01:26] | They also had these salt and pepper shakers | 比如蘑菇状的 |
| [01:27] | that were shaped like little mushrooms. | 装盐和胡椒的瓶子 |
| [01:30] | No. Wait. I just realized something. | 等等 我刚秒懂了 |
| [01:33] | Ooh, I see you got some vagina-shaped pasta. | 哇 你这还有妹妹形的意面呢 |
| [01:37] | No, those are just shells. | 不 那只是壳而已 |
| [01:38] | I stopped by Howdy’s. | 我顺便去了趟豪迪超市 |
| [01:41] | That is not fair. | 这不公平 |
| [01:42] | You’re gonna have a crazy night with the girls, | 你们将有女性疯狂之夜 |
| [01:43] | and for my first bachelor party, | 而我却对第一次告别单身派对 |
| [01:45] | I don’t know exactly what’s gonna happen, | 毫无所知 |
| [01:46] | but I’ve heard the words “Mocktails” | 但我偷听好像会有无酒精鸡尾酒 |
| [01:48] | and “Jigsaw puzzles,” so I don’t have a good feeling. | 七巧板什么的 情况不容乐观 |
| [01:50] | You should be proud that your son isn’t a pervert. | 你的儿子不是变态 你应该骄傲才对 |
| [01:53] | I mean, we might have made some mistakes here and there, | 你看 虽然我们时不时在抚养他的问题上犯错 |
| [01:55] | but we were obviously classy parents who made a good example. | 但显然我们是保守型家长 树立了良好榜样 |
| [01:59] | My boner scones are ready. | 我的勃起弟饼干烤好了 |
| [02:09] | Okay. That’s the last word. | 最后一个词了 |
| [02:12] | So the story is, | 这个故事是这样的 |
| [02:13] | “I was ‘bored’ “In my ‘bored’ hat and went to my… | 我很”哔”地带着”哔”一样的帽子 |
| [02:18] | ‘boring’ room, where I saw | 去了一个很”哔”的房间 |
| [02:19] | “A ‘bored’ that was eating my | 看到一个”哔”在吃我的大”哔” |
| [02:21] | giant ‘this sucks.'” | 这也太无聊了吧 |
| [02:22] | I don’t think that even makes sense. | 都不知道在搞什么 |
| [02:27] | Oh, hi, Tyler. | 嗨 泰勒 |
| [02:28] | Hey, I think you got the wrong house. | 你是不是走错地方了 |
| [02:29] | We didn’t order any pizzas tonight. | 我们今晚没定披萨啊 |
| [02:31] | I’m not here on pizza business. | 我不是来送披萨的 |
| [02:32] | I’m a videographer. | 是来给你们录像的 |
| [02:33] | That’s why I brought my assistants, | 所以我还带来我的助理 |
| [02:35] | my son and his friend, | 我的儿子和他朋友 |
| [02:36] | who was unfortunate enough to be sleeping over tonight. | 算这小子倒霉 今晚得跟我们混了 |
| [02:39] | The pizzas are our dinner | 披萨是我们的晚餐 |
| [02:41] | since the gentleman who hired us refused to provide food. | 因为我们的雇主不给饭吃 |
| [02:44] | It’s a job, man, not a buffet. | 这是工作好吗 又不是搞聚餐 |
| [02:48] | Frank, this doesn’t need to be recorded. | 弗兰克 这有什么好拍的 |
| [02:50] | You could say that about every single | 按你这么说 |
| [02:52] | Matthew McConaughey movie ever made, | 马修·麦康纳的每一部片子都没必要拍 |
| [02:54] | but that didn’t stop Hollywood, and it won’t stop us. | 但好莱坞可不这么想 我们也是 |
| [03:01] | You’re all going down. | 你们都要堕落了 |
| [03:03] | Though I guess that is kind of the point of the game. | 虽然我猜这种游戏的意义就在于此 |
| [03:05] | Bitches, you don’t stand a chance. | 臭娘们 跟我比你们还早着呢 |
| [03:06] | I have low self-esteem and I’m hungry. | 姐不是矜持的那一派 而且现在正饥渴着 |
| [03:08] | I haven’t paid a speeding ticket since 1962. | 老娘自1962年起就没付过超速罚单 |
| [03:12] | You’re about to see why. | 你们马上就要见识到原因了 |
| [03:14] | Okay. On the count of three. | 好 数到三开始 |
| [03:15] | One, | 一 |
| [03:16] | two… | 二 |
| [03:18] | Stripper time! | 脱衣男郎来了 |
| [03:21] | Somebody order a pizza? | 有人叫了披萨吗 |
| [03:23] | Sabrina, we didn’t order a… | 塞布丽娜 我们没有定 |
| [03:28] | …a stripper. | 脱衣男郎啊 |
| [03:29] | That’s a real pizza guy. | 人真是送披萨的 |
| [03:31] | Please don’t judge. | 别那样看我 |
| [03:32] | I get free pizza and I sit in a car all night. | 这都是因为免费披萨 加上整晚都要坐在车里 |
| [03:39] | Oh! Ah. I found the corner piece. | 找到角落上那片了 |
| [03:42] | This is a bachelor party. | 这是告别单身派对啊 |
| [03:43] | I want to go in the bathroom and find a tiger. | 我想跑到浴室里就能看到只老虎 |
| [03:45] | I want to get punched in the face by Mike Tyson. | 我想被拳王泰森在脸上干一拳 |
| [03:47] | I want to wake up on the roof of a Las Vegas hotel. | 我想一醒来就睡在拉斯维加斯酒店的屋顶上 |
| [03:49] | Like that movie The Hangover. | 就像电影《宿醉》里那样 |
| [03:50] | Didn’t see it. | 没看过 |
| [03:51] | This is a low-key night– we’re not gonna have that kind of party. | 这是低调之夜 我们不会开那样的派对的 |
| [03:54] | You can turn off the camera. | 你可以关摄像机了 |
| [03:55] | Nothing crazy is gonna happen. | 不会有什么疯狂的事发生的 |
| [04:02] | Are you open? | 你们开门吗 |
| [04:06] | Anyone there? | 有人不 |
| [04:08] | Are you open? | 开不开门啊 |
| [04:11] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [04:14] | It’s an emergency. | 我有紧急情况 |
| [04:16] | I can’t eat my oatmeal without raisins! | 没有葡萄干我吃不了燕麦粥啊 |
| [04:21] | What the hell happened? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [04:29] | ‘Sup? | 嗨哥们 |
| [04:39] | Oh, geez. | 额滴娘 |
| [04:44] | Oh, boy. | 哦天哪 |
| [04:48] | Oh, God. | 哦地啊 |
| [05:03] | Top of the mornin’. | 首先要说 |
| [05:04] | Last night was wild. | 昨夜可真狂野啊 |
| [05:06] | I’m not sure who remembers what, but don’t worry, | 我不确定有没有人能想起发生了什么 但没事 |
| [05:09] | Tyler and the kids captured the whole thing. | 泰勒和他的孩子录下了全程 |
| [05:12] | They’re editing it as we speak. | 我们说话时他们正在编辑视频 |
| [05:15] | ‘Sup, drunk white people. | 嗨 喝高了的白人 |
| [05:17] | You can turn the cameras off. | 你可以关摄像机了 |
| [05:18] | Nothing crazy is gonna happen. | 没啥疯狂的事会发生的 |
| [05:23] | It’s go time. | 行动 |
| [05:25] | Jimmy! Jimmy! | 吉米 吉米 |
| [05:29] | What in tarnation? | 这是唱哪出 |
| [05:30] | Jimmy! Jimmy! | 吉米 吉米 |
| [05:33] | Say hello to the boys of Theta Delta Sigma, | 欢迎来自纳什维尔职校 |
| [05:37] | the hardest partying fraternity | 最强兄弟帮的男生们 |
| [05:38] | Natesville Vocational School has to offer. | 他们是哆来咪组合 |
| [05:43] | I invited them to help | 我请了他们帮忙 |
| [05:44] | give you the best night of your life. | 来给你人生最棒的一夜 |
| [05:45] | Frat guys? Kegs of beer? | 兄弟帮 大桶啤酒 |
| [05:48] | And a free slice of pizza from two generous young… | 还有大方的两位小盆友带来的免费披萨 |
| [05:51] | Ow. I’ll eat chips. | 算了 我吃薯片吧 |
| [05:52] | But it’s still gonna be a great night! | 但这将依旧会是很棒的一夜 |
| [05:53] | Frank, I said I didn’t want a big party! | 弗兰克 我说过我不要隆重的聚会 |
| [05:56] | I heard your words, | 我听到你的话了 |
| [05:58] | but as your BFF | 但作为你的好基友 |
| [06:00] | best friend Frank | 最好的基友弗兰克 |
| [06:01] | I also heard your thoughts. | 我也听到了你的心声 |
| [06:04] | Frank! | 弗兰克 |
| [06:04] | Stop this! Stop this! | 别这样啊 |
| [06:17] | Barney Hughes, | 我是巴尼·休斯 |
| [06:18] | requesting permission to re-pledge. | 想再次申请进入兄弟帮 |
| [06:20] | Uh, re-pledge? | 再次申请 |
| [06:21] | Well, 22 years ago I pledged your fraternity | 22年前在纳什维尔 |
| [06:23] | when I was at Natesville State. | 我申请加入兄弟帮 |
| [06:24] | I made it all the way to when I had to swallow the goldfish. | 突破重重难关 最后让我吞下一条金鱼 |
| [06:26] | But… I chewed. | 但 我不小心咀嚼了 |
| [06:29] | I chewed. | 我咬死了它 |
| [06:30] | Gross, dude. | 真恶心 |
| [06:31] | Animal cruelty isn’t cool. | 虐待动物是不对的 |
| [06:33] | But if you want the honor of calling yourself an O-Delt, | 但如果你想要这份成为兄弟帮一员的荣耀 |
| [06:35] | just run full-speed into that tree. | 就全速跑向那棵树吧 |
| [06:46] | Porno! Porno! Porno! | 激情片 激情片 |
| [06:49] | Frank, we can’t watch porn back here, all right? | 弗兰克 我们不能在这里看激情片 |
| [06:51] | Neighbors can see it. | 邻居都会看到的 |
| [06:53] | Then they’ll get ideas and come over. | 然后他们就性致盎然地加入我们了 |
| [06:55] | With wine coolers. | 还带着冰镇葡萄酒 |
| [06:56] | Remind me to tell you that story. | 记得提醒我告诉你那个故事 |
| [06:57] | It’s not porn. | 不是激情片 |
| [06:59] | Look, | 你也知道 |
| [07:00] | it’s no secret your fiance and I don’t get along. | 你未婚妻和我关系不好也不是什么秘密了 |
| [07:03] | So I just want to make sure | 所以我只想你看清 |
| [07:04] | you have a clear picture of the woman you’re going to call your wife. | 你未来的老婆是怎样的人 |
| [07:13] | Deal-breaker! | 真扫兴 |
| [07:19] | Girls don’t fart! Girls don’t fart! | 女生放屁真丢人 |
| [07:21] | You think that’s disgusting, check out | 这就恶心到你了 |
| [07:24] | what she’s gonna look like in 30 years. | 看看30年后她什么样子吧 |
| [07:30] | For lack of a stronger vocabulary, | 由于找不到合适的形容词 |
| [07:32] | she looks like human diarrhea. | 只能说她看起来像人类的排泄物 |
| [07:35] | What can I say, Frank? | 我能说什么呢 弗兰克 |
| [07:36] | I’m in love. | 爱情是盲目的 |
| [07:41] | All right, looks like he still wants to do it. | 看起来他还是想要结婚 |
| [07:44] | On to phase two. | 第二阶段计划启动 |
| [07:45] | I was hoping you would change your mind about this | 如果我们捉到塞布丽娜 |
| [07:47] | stupid marriage if we caught Sabrina | 给你戴绿帽子 |
| [07:49] | cheating on you, but unfortunately, | 我想你会放弃结婚 但很遗憾 |
| [07:51] | her party was pretty lame. | 她的聚会非常逊 |
| [07:56] | Honey! He’s home! | 亲爱的 你老公回来了 |
| [08:05] | Are you okay? | 你还好吧 |
| [08:08] | Oh, my God, did that hurt! | 哎哟 还真疼 |
| [08:15] | Why does your stripper look like Brian, | 为什么你请的舞男像布莱恩 |
| [08:17] | the chubby kid I went to high school with? | 那个和我一起上高中的胖小子 |
| [08:19] | Hey. Jimmy Chance. | 你好 吉米·吉斯 |
| [08:21] | Long time. | 好久不见 |
| [08:23] | Quit staring, Jimmy! | 别盯着看 吉米 |
| [08:25] | You’re making this awkward! | 人家会害羞的 |
| [08:27] | Ah. Aw, keg’s dead! | 啤酒没了 |
| [08:31] | Wh-Where we gonna get beer this time of night? | 大半夜的我们去哪里买啤酒啊 |
| [08:34] | I have keys to a grocery store! | 我有超市的钥匙 |
| [08:38] | Old pledge! Old pledge! Old pledge! | 兄弟帮 兄弟帮 |
| [08:47] | It’s all for us! | 都是我们的 |
| [08:49] | Take it all! | 尽情享用吧 |
| [09:22] | Everyone was having a good time, | 每个人都在享受 |
| [09:23] | but I had a job to do. | 但我还有事要办 |
| [09:25] | Pull! | 开瓶 |
| [09:27] | Since none of my plans to stop this wedding | 由于所有的破坏计划都失败了 |
| [09:29] | were working, I had to go to my last resort. | 我只好放终极大招 |
| [09:32] | Check this out. | 看这个 |
| [09:34] | My sister’s old wedding dress. | 我姐姐的旧婚纱 |
| [09:36] | We should have a fake wedding. | 我们来个假结婚吧 |
| [09:38] | It’ll be hilarious. | 肯定超欢乐 |
| [09:40] | To the happy couple! | 祝一对新人幸福 |
| [09:56] | Frank, do you take Jimmy to be your lawfully wedded partner? | 弗兰克 你愿意与吉米结为夫夫吗 |
| [10:00] | I do. | 我愿意 |
| [10:03] | And, Jimmy, | 那么 吉米 |
| [10:03] | do you take Frank to be your lawfully wedded partner? | 你愿意与弗兰克结为夫夫吗 |
| [10:06] | I do. | 我愿意 |
| [10:08] | I always imagined this would happen in Vegas | 我一直以为这一幕 |
| [10:09] | in a little wedding chapel while we’re being chased | 会在拉斯维加斯的小教堂举行 |
| [10:11] | by this little Asian guy. | 还有一个亚裔的伙计追着我们 |
| [10:13] | You mean like in The Hangover? | 你是说像电影《宿醉》那样吗 |
| [10:14] | Has everyone seen this movie except me? | 只有我没有看那部电影吗 |
| [10:17] | I now pronounce you husbands for life. | 现在我宣布你们结为夫夫 |
| [10:24] | Married! Married! | 洞房 洞房 |
| [10:28] | And in case you’re wondering if it’s legal, | 以防你怀疑我们婚姻的合法性 |
| [10:31] | here’s our marriage license. | 我有结婚证为证 |
| [10:33] | Hey, Jimmy. | 吉米 |
| [10:34] | The egg delivery guy is here, and I can’t find Barney. | 送鸡蛋的来了 我找不到巴尼 |
| [10:36] | Can you sign for him? | 你能代他签个名吗 |
| [10:38] | Yeah. | 好 |
| [10:41] | We’re gonna need a witness to prove Jimmy signed for the eggs. | 我们需要一个证人证明吉米签收了鸡蛋 |
| [10:45] | Yeah. | 没问题 |
| [10:46] | So… sorry, Sabrina. | 对不起了 塞布丽娜 |
| [10:49] | You can’t marry Jimmy anymore | 你不能嫁给吉米 |
| [10:52] | because he’s already taken. | 他现在是我的人了 |
| [11:05] | Open the damn door | 你有本事开门啊 |
| [11:09] | Oh, the ex. | 前女友啊 |
| [11:12] | This is uncomfortable. | 真尴尬 |
| [11:14] | You listen to me. Oh, my God. | 你听我说 哎哟 |
| [11:18] | I forgot you have this whole weird town | 我忘了你家有这个奇葩的自制小镇 |
| [11:20] | and all those creepy dolls. | 和这些诡异的玩偶 |
| [11:22] | They’re not dolls. They’re action figures. | 他们不是玩偶 是仿真雕塑 |
| [11:24] | You better fix this, Frank, | 你最好给我解决这件事 弗兰克 |
| [11:26] | because you are not messing up my wedding! | 别想毁了姐的婚礼 |
| [11:28] | I’m sorry, but if I let you guys get married, | 对不起 如果我让你们结婚了 |
| [11:31] | it’ll mess up the plans I made for Jimmy and I. | 我为吉米和我制定的计划就泡汤了 |
| [11:34] | I mapped out a whole future for us. Look. | 我为我们规划了完美的未来 看 |
| [11:41] | First, I thought we could learn how to surf | 首先 我们可以一起学冲浪 |
| [11:44] | and show off our ripped bods to the chicks at the beach. | 在沙滩秀身材 勾搭美女们 |
| [11:47] | Then, with your artistic talent | 接着 你的绘画天分 |
| [11:50] | and my love of frigid temperatures, | 和我对极寒的热爱相结合 |
| [11:52] | I thought we could become professional ice sculptors. | 我觉得我们可以成为职业冰雕家 |
| [11:56] | Then, in the off-season, figured we could go to Spain | 然后淡季时 我们可以去西班牙 |
| [11:59] | and run with the bulls. | 斗斗牛 |
| [12:03] | Just because Jimmy and I are getting married | 虽然我跟吉米要结婚了 |
| [12:04] | doesn’t mean you guys can’t do all that cool stuff together. | 但这不代表你们不能一起嗨了 |
| [12:07] | Seriously? | 真的吗 |
| [12:09] | Awesome. | 太棒了 |
| [12:11] | I’ve got a lot of other ideas, too. | 我还有好多好点子呢 |
| [12:13] | I’ll be right back. | 马上回来 |
| [12:16] | What are you doing? | 你搞什么呢 |
| [12:17] | I don’t want to go surfing with Frank. | 我不想跟弗兰克去冲浪 |
| [12:19] | I’m afraid of sharks and jellyfish and sea lions. | 我怕鲨鱼 水母还有海狮 |
| [12:22] | I don’t think sea lions are what you think they are. | 你脑海中的海狮应该不是真正的海狮 |
| [12:23] | They’re the kings of the ocean, right? | 它们是海中之王 对吗 |
| [12:25] | No, not really. | 完全不是 |
| [12:25] | Look, we are dealing with a mental patient here. | 听着 我们在跟一名精神病人打交道 |
| [12:29] | We just have to tell him exactly what he wants to hear, | 他想听什么我们就说什么 |
| [12:31] | and then he’ll give you the divorce, | 然后他就能跟你离婚 |
| [12:32] | and then we can go get married. | 然后我们就可以结婚了 |
| [12:33] | We are going to have so much fun. | 我们会嗨翻天的 |
| [12:37] | How familiar are you with the game | 我刚发明的这个独轮车长曲棍球游戏 |
| [12:39] | I just invented called unicycle lacrosse? | 你熟悉这个游戏吗 |
| [12:44] | Yeah. | 似曾相识 |
| [12:44] | Listen, I’m at a client’s house. | 我在一名客户家里呢 |
| [12:47] | I can’t discuss this right now. | 现在没空跟你讨论这个 |
| [12:49] | Well, I don’t think you should wear a bow tie to the meeting. | 我觉得你参加那会议戴领结不合适 |
| [12:54] | Sorry about that. | 不好意思 |
| [12:56] | Trouble with another client. | 另一位客户的麻烦事儿 |
| [12:59] | Sorry I’m late. | 抱歉我迟到了 |
| [13:00] | I was having trouble with my lawyer. | 我刚和律师发生了纠纷 |
| [13:02] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [13:03] | You’re representing him, too? | 你还代表他 |
| [13:04] | Oh, I’m afraid that’s attorney-client privilege. | 这是客户保密特权 |
| [13:08] | But since you’re also my client, | 但鉴于你也是我的客户 |
| [13:10] | I think I can say yes. | 实话告诉你 是的 |
| [13:12] | An unusual tactic. | 这策略很不寻常啊 |
| [13:14] | I want to see where this goes. | 我倒想看看这事能发展成什么样 |
| [13:16] | But be warned, counselor. | 但小心点 顾问 |
| [13:17] | You’re on a short leash. | 我盯着你呢 |
| [13:19] | Law and Order. | 《法律与秩序》[著名美剧] |
| [13:20] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [13:21] | Before my client | 在我的当事人 |
| [13:22] | signs these divorce papers, | 签署离婚协议之前 |
| [13:24] | he’s requested that you sign a postnuptial agreement. | 他要求你签署一份婚后协议 |
| [13:28] | Which my client has full right to refuse to sign. | 对此 我的当事人完全有权拒绝 |
| [13:32] | You’ll sign, or we’ll see you in court. | 要么签 要么法庭见 |
| [13:37] | “I, Jimmy Chance, | 我 吉米·吉斯 |
| [13:38] | promise to build birdhouses with Frank Marolla, | 答应与弗兰克·莫罗拉共建鸟窝爱巢 |
| [13:40] | go on a hot air balloon ride, | 乘热气球 |
| [13:43] | do monthly mole check. | 每月定时检查痣 |
| [13:45] | If I should fail to fulfill these duties, | 如有食言 |
| [13:47] | I hereby relinquish the rights to my van | 我在此放弃对货车的所有权 |
| [13:49] | and custody of my daughter, what’s-her-name, | 和女儿的监护权 她叫啥来着 |
| [13:52] | who will then be raised by Frank | 总之这小孩将由弗兰克抚养 |
| [13:53] | and immediately renamed she-Frank.” | 并即刻更名为”弗兰克亲女” |
| [13:56] | I’m not signing this. | 我不会签的 |
| [13:57] | Well, why not? | 为什么 |
| [13:59] | It’s just all the things you promised we’d do together. | 这些不过是你承诺过我们会一起做的事 |
| [14:02] | Because I don’t want to do any of that stuff, Frank. | 因为这些事我一件都不想做 弗兰克 |
| [14:04] | I just want to marry the girl I love, | 我只想和心爱的姑娘结婚 |
| [14:07] | and if you were a real friend, you’d understand that. | 如果你真的是我的朋友 你就该明白的 |
| [14:09] | Great point, Jimmy. | 说得好 吉米 |
| [14:10] | Frank, how could you let him say that to you? | 弗兰克 你怎么能让他对你说出这些 |
| [14:13] | I knew this was a mistake. | 我就知道这件事是个错误 |
| [14:16] | Never should have agreed to this stupid meeting. | 就不该同意来参加这个愚蠢的会议 |
| [14:22] | This is far from over! | 这事没完 |
| [14:27] | I think we’re in pretty good shape. | 咱们处境不错 |
| [14:29] | This is crazy. | 太荒唐了 |
| [14:31] | Right? I’ve got to be able | 我必须在没有他的情况下 |
| [14:32] | to get a divorce without him. | 把这婚离了 |
| [14:33] | You get him to sign it, and it’ll be quick and easy. | 你让他签了 这事就简单了 很快能解决 |
| [14:36] | But if not, and his lawyer gets wind of this, | 否则 让他的律师知道了 |
| [14:39] | which he just did, | 事实上律师已经知道了 |
| [14:41] | then they can really drag this out. | 他们就能无限期拖下去 |
| [14:43] | Which I fully intend to do. | 我正有此意 |
| [14:45] | What if someone cuts Frank’s brake lines | 如果有人破坏了弗兰克的刹车线 |
| [14:46] | and he died in a fiery car crash? | 导致他死于一场惨烈的车祸呢 |
| [14:48] | I’m spit-balling here. | 我就随便说说 |
| [14:49] | If anybody’s got a better idea | 如果谁有更好的主意 |
| [14:51] | how to kill Frank and get away with it, | 能杀了弗兰克然后逃脱罪责 |
| [14:52] | the floor is yours. | 悉听尊便 |
| [14:53] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [14:54] | If he wants to be married to Jimmy, | 如果他想跟吉米结婚 |
| [14:55] | maybe we should see | 不如我们就看看 |
| [14:56] | if he really wants to be married to Jimmy. | 他是不是真心想跟吉米结婚 |
| [14:59] | That’s a great idea. | 好主意 |
| [15:01] | Jimmy should pressure him for sex constantly. | 吉米可以向他不断施以性压 |
| [15:04] | He’ll enjoy it for the first couple of months, | 头几个月他还会乐此不疲 |
| [15:05] | but eventually, it’ll just turn into a chore. | 但最终就会嫌累嫌烦了 |
| [15:07] | No, I’m not saying they should conjugate the marriage, Burt. | 不 我不是说让他们真结婚 伯特 |
| [15:10] | I just think Frank should see | 我只是觉得应该让弗兰克看看 |
| [15:12] | what it’s really like spending all his time with Jimmy. | 跟吉米共度余生到底是什么样的 |
| [15:16] | Wally Phipps. | 我是瓦利·菲普斯 |
| [15:18] | Oh. You were brilliant, | 你太明智了 |
| [15:21] | and that bow tie did look great. | 那领结真挺好看 |
| [15:24] | Oh, those Chances don’t have a chance of winning. | 吉斯家一点”吉会”都没有 |
| [15:28] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [15:29] | I don’t have a fancy pun for “Frank,” | 我无意用弗兰克[Frank又意坦白的]双关 |
| [15:33] | but we’re gonna destroy him. | 但我们要打垮他 |
| [15:34] | Oh, wait. | 慢着 |
| [15:36] | I’m speaking to you frankly. | 我坦白跟你们交底 |
| [15:40] | Nailed it. | 双关成功 |
| [15:46] | All right, Frank thinks | 好 弗兰克认为 |
| [15:47] | spending all his time with Jimmy would be great. | 跟吉米厮守一生会很幸福 |
| [15:49] | But what he doesn’t know is what a pain in the ass you are. | 但他不知道你有多讨厌 |
| [15:52] | What are you talking about? | 你什么意思 |
| [15:53] | You’ve got some annoying habits. | 你有些习惯真的很讨厌 |
| [15:55] | Like when you sing in the shower. | 比如洗澡时唱歌 |
| [15:57] | I’ve been working on the railroad | 我有一头小毛驴 |
| [16:00] | all the livelong day | 我从来也不骑 |
| [16:03] | I’ve been working on the railroad | 我就不骑呀就不骑 |
| [16:06] | just to pass the time… | 你能怎么样 |
| [16:09] | And when you’re irritated, | 你不高兴时 |
| [16:10] | you do a play-by-play of your every move. | 一举一动都要实时报道 |
| [16:12] | Oh, great, you ate the last of the cookies. | 好耶 你把最后一块饼干吃了 |
| [16:15] | Now I’ve got to pick up the plate, | 现在我得端起盘子 |
| [16:18] | walk back to the kitchen, | 走回厨房 |
| [16:21] | put the plate in the sink. | 放进水槽 |
| [16:24] | Pick up the broken pieces. | 捡起碎片 |
| [16:26] | Ah, God! | 妈呀 |
| [16:28] | Cut my finger. | 割伤手指 |
| [16:30] | Now I’ve got to look for a Band-Aid. | 现在我得找片创可贴 |
| [16:32] | And, of course, there are none in the drawer. | 抽屉里肯定没有 |
| [16:34] | But I found some cookies. | 但我找到了些饼干 |
| [16:36] | Walking back into the living room. | 走回卧室 |
| [16:41] | And I’m sitting back down. | 坐下来 |
| [16:43] | Only to see you drank the last of the milk. | 看到你喝完了最后一口牛奶 |
| [16:46] | Getting up again… | 再起来 |
| [16:48] | It drives me crazy | 你把每瓶饮料都喝一半 |
| [16:49] | when you only drink half of every soda. | 都要让我崩溃了 |
| [16:54] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [16:55] | Without the bubbles, my tongue gets the flavor, | 没有泡沫 只有舌头有感觉 |
| [16:57] | but my nose doesn’t get the tickle. | 鼻子却没有快感 |
| [16:59] | Puts my whole face out of whack. | 这会让我的脸变形的 |
| [17:01] | I mean, these are all just bad habits. | 这不就是些坏习惯吗 |
| [17:04] | I mean, look, somebody could have just said something. | 我的意思是 你们说一声不就行了么 |
| [17:07] | That’s annoying, too. | 这点也讨厌 |
| [17:08] | How you always make everything our fault. | 总是把错怪到我们头上 |
| [17:10] | – Totally. – Oh, yeah. | -就是 -对极了 |
| [17:12] | All right, fine. I’m annoying. | 好啊 我令人讨厌 |
| [17:15] | I’ll just go and get Frank | 那我就做自己 |
| [17:16] | to divorce me by being myself. | 让弗兰克烦到跟我离婚 |
| [17:19] | And I’m headed to the door. | 我这就出门 |
| [17:21] | I’m grabbing my jacket. | 我拿起外套 |
| [17:23] | Looking for my shoes. Ugh. | 寻找鞋子 |
| [17:25] | Looking… | 找到… |
| [17:26] | The first thing I had to do | 我首先要做的是 |
| [17:27] | was go to Frank’s and make him believe | 来到弗兰克家 让他相信 |
| [17:29] | I was really moving in. | 我真的要搬进来了 |
| [17:31] | – Jimmy? – Okay. | -吉米 -好啊 |
| [17:33] | Fine. You know what?! It’s over! | 太好了 咱俩玩完了 |
| [17:36] | Whoa. What happened there? | 这是咋了啊 |
| [17:39] | What can I say, Frank? Bitches. | 弗兰克 我还能说什么呢 那些臭婊子 |
| [17:41] | Does your offer still stand to live here? | 你说过我能住这儿的吧 |
| [17:43] | Are you kidding? | 你说真的吗 |
| [17:45] | Our monogrammed towels got here this morning. | 我们的刺绣毛巾今早刚到 |
| [17:47] | Of course it still stands. | 当然行了 |
| [17:49] | Make yourself at home, hubby. | 跟在家一样啊 老公 |
| [17:50] | First, I tried annoying him in the bathroom. | 首先 我试图洗澡时烦他 |
| [17:52] | Someone’s in the kitchen, I know | 你存在 我婶婶的脑海里 |
| [17:56] | Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah. | 偶的梦里 偶的心里 |
| [17:59] | Strummin’ on the old banjo | 偶滴歌声里 |
| [18:02] | Fee, fie, fiddly-I-ay | 啊呀呦 啊呀呦 |
| [18:04] | Fee, fie, fiddly-I-o. | 啊嘶嘚咯呔嘚咯呔嘚咯呔 |
| [18:06] | Fee, fie, fiddly-I-ay | 啊呀呦 啊呀呦 |
| [18:09] | Strummin’ on the old banjo. | 嘚咯呔嘚啲吺嘚咯呔嘚咯吺 |
| [18:13] | Then I tried annoying him in the kitchen. | 我在厨房里也要烦他 |
| [18:15] | Awesome. I always said the problem with soda is that it’s too bubbly, | 太棒了 我总是翻饮料里气泡太多 |
| [18:20] | and there’s too much of it in each can. | 而且一整罐我也喝不完 |
| [18:22] | Some things I didn’t even get a chance to try. | 有些事情我都没机会尝试 |
| [18:25] | What are you doing in there? | 你在那儿干嘛呢 |
| [18:26] | I’m looking for a glass. | 我在找玻璃杯 |
| [18:28] | What about now? | 现在呢 |
| [18:29] | Rinsing the glass out. | 清洗杯子 |
| [18:31] | And now? | 然后呢 |
| [18:32] | Still rinsing. | 还在洗 |
| [18:34] | Gonna be a couple minutes. | 还要几分钟 |
| [18:36] | You want some company? | 需要我陪不 |
| [18:37] | Turns out Frank was so happy to have someone in his life, | 结果表明 弗兰克很高兴有人融入他的生活 |
| [18:41] | he didn’t care what I did. | 他不在乎我的行为 |
| [18:42] | And that actually made being married to him kind of fun. | 其实跟他结婚挺好的 |
| [18:45] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [18:49] | It’s been three days. What’s the holdup? | 都三天了 咋样了 |
| [18:51] | Leave me alone. All right, I’m working on it. | 别来烦我 哥这不在努力着的吗 |
| [18:53] | Work faster. We got sick of explaining where you were, | 动作快点 我们都解释烦你去哪了 |
| [18:55] | so we told Hope you were mad at her. | 所以我们告诉喜旺 你生她气了 |
| [18:57] | The longer this goes on, | 这事儿拖得越久 |
| [18:58] | the worse that decision looks. | 后果越严重 |
| [18:59] | Maybe it’s time to tell Frank to take a drive. | 也许该带弗兰克去兜风了 |
| [19:02] | You know, down a long road, by a steep cliff. | 长途跋涉 到了陡峭的山崖边 |
| [19:05] | What? I’m just kidding. | 咋了 我开玩笑的 |
| [19:08] | What? I didn’t cut his brake lines. | 我又没剪断他刹车线 |
| [19:09] | Jimmy, your sardines are ready. | 吉米 你沙丁鱼好了 |
| [19:12] | I’ll be right there! | 这就来 |
| [19:13] | Busting out the big guns, huh? | 放大招了啊 |
| [19:14] | I forgot how you like to eat those stinky sardines. | 我都忘了你多爱吃臭沙丁鱼了 |
| [19:16] | He’s gonna hate that. | 他肯定讨厌 |
| [19:17] | Yeah, he does hate it, but you know what? | 他是讨厌这点 但你猜怎么着 |
| [19:19] | He doesn’t just secretly | 他不会跟你们一样 |
| [19:20] | judge me for my annoying habits like the rest of you. | 背地里数落我的坏习惯 |
| [19:22] | He loves me for who I am. | 他爱那个真正的我 |
| [19:24] | There’s no way he loves you, Jimmy. | 他不可能爱上你的 吉米 |
| [19:26] | You’re going to wind up living in a cage in the basement, | 最后你会被关到地下室的笼子里去的 |
| [19:29] | I feel it. | 这是第六感 |
| [19:29] | Frank is a wonderful person. | 弗兰克是个大好人 |
| [19:31] | He doesn’t yell at me for leaving my towel on the floor, | 他不会因为我把毛巾掉在地板上而大吼 |
| [19:33] | or complain that I’m a horrible singer. | 也不会抱怨我唱歌难听 |
| [19:35] | No. He harmonizes. | 不会的 他特别包容 |
| [19:37] | and brings me on-key. | 而且还给我带回调上 |
| [19:38] | And if that isn’t a metaphor, | 如果说这些都不算讽刺 |
| [19:39] | I don’t know what is. | 我都不知道什么算了 |
| [19:40] | I’m serious. I don’t know what a metaphor is. | 我认真的 我都不知道什么算讽刺了 |
| [19:42] | Frank wouldn’t judge me for that. | 弗兰克从不评判我 |
| [19:48] | Jimmy, | 吉米 |
| [19:49] | I just wanted to say that these last few days | 我想说 过去这几天 |
| [19:52] | have been better than I could have ever imagined. | 是我难以想象的快乐时光 |
| [19:57] | I’ve never really had a relationship before, | 我从未恋爱过 |
| [19:59] | and every moment with you | 和你在一起的每一刻 |
| [20:01] | has been a revelation. | 都是全新的体验 |
| [20:02] | I know exactly how you feel. | 我明白你的感受 |
| [20:04] | I’ve never felt so accepted for who I am. | 从未有人包容我的一切 |
| [20:07] | Me, neither. Mmm. | 我也是 |
| [20:10] | But here’s the thing. | 但是吧 |
| [20:12] | I think I might rather try it with a girl. | 我想我还是和女生在一起比较好 |
| [20:14] | A girl? | 女生 |
| [20:15] | Yeah, you know, for the sex part. | 对 为了性福考虑 |
| [20:18] | So, you’re breaking up with me? | 那你要跟我分手吗 |
| [20:20] | Just like that? | 真的吗 |
| [20:21] | But there’s so much stuff that I wanted us to do together. | 我为我俩规划了好多东西呢 |
| [20:23] | Well, we can still be friends, Jimmy. | 我们还是朋友啊 吉米 |
| [20:25] | It’s not like we’ll never see each other. | 又不是见不到了 |
| [20:28] | We’ll always have Howdy’s. | 在毫迪超市可以天天见面 |
| [20:31] | Let me drive you home. | 我开车送你回家吧 |
| [20:32] | Whoa! Frank, no! Let’s walk. | 不 弗兰克 我俩走回去吧 |
| [20:35] | I mean, it’s beautiful out. | 外边天气超好 |
| [20:38] | Sabrina cut my brakes, didn’t she? | 塞布丽娜把我刹车线剪断了 是不 |
| [20:40] | Yeah, probably. | 很有可能 |
| [20:43] | That’s a damn fine woman you got there, Jimmy. | 你娶了个如此操蛋的好姑娘啊 |
| [20:47] | Damn fine. | 操蛋的好姑娘 |
| [20:48] | So, the next day, | 第二天 |
| [20:50] | Frank and I called Wally and got a divorce. | 我和弗兰克叫瓦利帮我们办离婚手续 |
| [20:52] | But not before I added a post-nup | 在此之前 我们签署了婚后协议 |
| [20:54] | to make sure we’d always stay friends. | 确保我们还是好基友 |
| [20:58] | I now pronounce you ex-husband and ex-wife. | 我宣布 你俩离啦 |
| [21:02] | You may now kiss your fiancee. | 现在亲吻你的未婚妻吧 |
| [21:08] | When I finally find the one, | 当我找到老婆的时候 |
| [21:09] | I hope you’ll at least consider swapping. | 我希望你俩可以考虑换妻游戏 |