| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Jimmy, I think I finally found a way | 吉米 我终于有办法 |
| [00:05] | to get our little flower girl all the way down the aisle. | 让我们的小花童走完全程了 |
| [00:09] | Oh, nice. | 好主意 |
| [00:10] | Good job. | 老婆最聪明了 |
| [00:14] | Hey, what’s with all the cameras? | 怎么这么多摄像机 |
| [00:17] | I knew it! I knew it! | 我就知道 我就知道 |
| [00:20] | All these years, we’ve been on a hidden camera reality show. | 这些年来 我们一直生活在真人秀里 |
| [00:24] | Just like that Jim Carrey movie. | 就跟《楚门的世界》一样 |
| [00:25] | That’s the only way to explain | 所以我们身边 |
| [00:26] | all the crazy things that happen. | 才发生那么多怪事 |
| [00:28] | Wait, wait, wait. | 等一下 |
| [00:29] | If that means Jim Carrey’s just a character on our show, | 如果这代表金·凯瑞不过是我们这出戏的龙套 |
| [00:32] | and none of his movies are real, | 他的电影也都是假的 |
| [00:33] | then I am going to be very upset. | 那得多扫兴啊 |
| [00:34] | That’s nowhere near what’s happening. | 你想多了 |
| [00:36] | My mom says I’ll probably be getting married three or four times, | 我妈捉摸着我要结好多次婚 |
| [00:39] | so she’s not coming to this one. | 所以她这次就不打算来了 |
| [00:40] | But she still wanted to see it, | 但她还是想瞄一眼 |
| [00:41] | so she hired this film crew. | 于是就雇了这个摄制组 |
| [00:43] | And get this, her mom knows a woman from yoga whose husband | 说出来别不信 她老妈的瑜伽课同学的 |
| [00:46] | went to college with the roommate of a guy | 丈夫的大学室友 |
| [00:48] | who put the snacks out on Kevin Bacon’s last movie. | 在凯文·贝肯最新的电影里给他端过点心 |
| [00:50] | And Kevin Bacon was able to get this film crew | 于是凯文·贝肯请来了 |
| [00:52] | from my mom’s favorite TV show, | 老妈最爱的电视剧 |
| [00:54] | Modern Family. | 《摩登家庭》的摄制组 |
| [00:55] | We were planning on videotaping the wedding | 我们本想录下婚礼全程 |
| [00:58] | as our gift to Jimmy and Sabrina. | 当作结婚贺礼送给吉米和塞布丽娜的 |
| [01:00] | Now we only have a day to figure out what to get ’em. | 现在我们得在一天内憋出送什么礼物 |
| [01:02] | Coffee mugs that say | 送情侣马克杯 |
| [01:03] | “Mr. Right” and “Mrs. Always Right.” | 上书”真命天子”和”真理女王” |
| [01:05] | Tie that looks like a fish, | 还是看起来像鱼的领带 |
| [01:07] | or a fish that looks like a tie. | 或者看起来像领带的鱼 |
| [01:09] | Hermit crabs. | 寄居蟹 |
| [01:10] | Ice– you always need ice. | 居家必备的冰块 |
| [01:12] | Uh, people sure love those face pages. | 大伙儿好像都老爱刷微博 |
| [01:15] | All good options, but with such short notice, | 这些都不错 但现在情况紧急 |
| [01:18] | maybe we should just give them a nice framed picture of us. | 干脆送张咱俩的写真吧 |
| [01:37] | So we were thinking | 我们考虑着 |
| [01:38] | maybe our wedding gift to you | 作为结婚贺礼 |
| [01:40] | would be to pick up your cake. | 要不就帮你们去取蛋糕 |
| [01:41] | You know, we don’t need you to pick up the cake for us. | 这种小事就不麻烦你们了 |
| [01:44] | I mean, you guys already printed out those wedding invitations. | 请柬也是你们印的 |
| [01:47] | And that was enough. | 这就足够了 |
| [01:50] | They got the RSVP address wrong. | 他们把回信地址写错了 |
| [01:52] | Again, sorry for the address mix-up. | 我们再次为地址的事表示抱歉 |
| [01:55] | It is no problem. | 没事 |
| [01:57] | And I am sorry for your gifts. I was not snooping. | 不好意思礼物都被拆封了 不是我要偷窥 |
| [02:00] | Every piece of mail that I’ve gotten in the past 12 years | 我过去12年里收到的每个包裹 |
| [02:04] | has been opened by the government. | 都被政府拆包检查 |
| [02:05] | How many American flags must I hang in the store | 这店里得挂多少美国国旗 |
| [02:07] | before you people leave me alone? | 你们才肯相信我的一片赤子之心呢 |
| [02:10] | Ah, I’m guessing these plates are from Frank. | 我猜这些盘子是弗兰克送的 |
| [02:13] | Oh, and also, | 还有 |
| [02:14] | your Aunt Megan is coming, | 你的梅根姨妈要来 |
| [02:16] | and she’s requesting a vegetarian meal. | 要你们准备素食 |
| [02:19] | Okay, Ranjan, I can clearly see that you’ve crossed out “steak” | 仁杰 一看就是你把”牛排”划了 |
| [02:24] | and that you wrote “vegetarian.” | 改成了”素食” |
| [02:25] | All right, you’ve got to stop doing this. | 你别再这样了 |
| [02:27] | Maybe I’ll eat your beloved eagle. | 那我要是吃掉你们心爱的鹰 |
| [02:29] | How would you like that? | 你们会开心吗 |
| [02:30] | Hello. My name is James Chance. | 你好 我叫詹姆士·吉斯 |
| [02:33] | And this is my fiancée, Sabrina… | 这位是我的未婚妻 塞布丽娜… |
| [02:36] | Cole… Colombo… Colony… | 科尔…科伦坡…科伦尼… |
| [02:40] | Collins! | 科林斯 |
| [02:41] | Yes, I’m sorry. Collins. | 没错 抱歉 是科林斯 |
| [02:43] | She’s changing her name to Chance after tomorrow, | 过了明天她就姓吉斯了 |
| [02:45] | so I never bothered learning her maiden name. | 所以我也懒得费劲去记她娘家姓 |
| [02:47] | Anyway, we’re here about our marriage license. | 我们是为结婚证的事儿来的 |
| [02:49] | After Jimmy and Sabrina left to get their wedding cake, | 吉米和塞布丽娜去取结婚蛋糕后 |
| [02:52] | the city clerk called to tell us | 我们接到市政书记的电话 |
| [02:54] | there was a problem with their marriage license. | 得知他们的结婚证审理出了问题 |
| [02:55] | I told you she was a boy. | 我就说她是男的嘛 |
| [02:57] | She’s not a boy, Maw Maw. | 她不是男的 奶奶 |
| [02:59] | So, not only could we make up | 这样一来 我们不仅能 |
| [03:00] | for our little invitation snag-fu, | 弥补印错请柬的小尴尬 |
| [03:02] | we finally figured out our wedding gift for them: | 同时也知道该送什么礼物了 |
| [03:05] | – Their marriage license! – Hermit crabs! | -结婚证 -寄居蟹 |
| [03:07] | Their marriage license. | 是结婚证 |
| [03:09] | So, what’s the problem? | 问题出在哪儿 |
| [03:10] | Did we fill something out wrong? | 有信息填错了吗 |
| [03:11] | No, your application was rejected | 不是 你们的申请没有通过 |
| [03:13] | because, according to our records, | 因为根据我们的档案记载 |
| [03:15] | James here is still married to a Lucy Carlyle. | 这位詹姆士和露西·卡拉尔是夫妻 |
| [03:18] | Oh, that. No, she’s dead. | 那个啊 她已经死了 |
| [03:20] | She got electrocuted and hit by a bus. | 她受过电刑 撞过车 |
| [03:23] | It was very tragic. | 太不幸了 |
| [03:25] | Not really tragic; she was a serial killer. | 也没有很不幸 她是连环杀手 |
| [03:28] | Is there a word that combines | 有没有什么词 |
| [03:29] | tragic with happiness? | 能把不幸和幸福联系起来的 |
| [03:31] | Schadenfreude? | 幸灾乐祸 |
| [03:32] | Now you’re just making up words. | 你就扯吧 |
| [03:33] | Anyway, so we’re all set, right? | 这样就没问题了吧 |
| [03:35] | We still need a copy of the death certificate. | 还需要死亡证明的复印件 |
| [03:37] | You can request one from the coroner’s office, | 你们可以联系验尸处 |
| [03:39] | and they’ll mail it to you in three weeks. | 他们三周内会发给你们 |
| [03:41] | But our wedding’s tomorrow. | 可人家明天就要大婚了 |
| [03:42] | I don’t know what to tell you. | 你说怎么办 |
| [03:44] | You could dig up her body and bring it here. | 要不把她的尸体运过来 |
| [03:47] | I’m kidding. | 我开玩笑的 |
| [03:48] | Don’t do that. | 别当真 |
| [03:51] | The cake we ordered was, like, | 我们订的蛋糕 |
| [03:52] | five-thirds the size of this. | 大约是这个的三分之五 |
| [03:54] | He’s not great with fractions, | 他分数没学好 |
| [03:56] | but the point is, is that this is just way too big. | 关键是 这也太大了 |
| [03:59] | Your father called and changed the order. | 你父亲来电改了尺寸 |
| [04:02] | He left you a message. | 还给你留言了 |
| [04:07] | “Hey, baby, since I can’t leave rehab “to attend your wedding, | 宝贝 疗养院不放我去参加婚礼 |
| [04:10] | “please accept this cake as my gift. | 请收下这个蛋糕作为贺礼 |
| [04:12] | “I know how much you love dolphins. Love, Daddy.” | 我知道你最喜欢海豚了 爱你的爹地 |
| [04:16] | My sister loves dolphins. I hate them. | 那是我姐 我讨厌海豚 |
| [04:21] | The last thing I was going to do was to point out | 打死我都不会说 |
| [04:23] | that it was her father who had messed up this time, | 这次是被她爸搞砸的 |
| [04:25] | so I smiled and suggested we just go back | 所以我微笑着提议 |
| [04:28] | and get my dad’s truck to move the cake. | 回家开老爸的卡车来运蛋糕 |
| [04:31] | But Sabrina had another idea. | 但塞布丽娜有别的方案 |
| [04:37] | We almost made it a block. | 眼看要走完一个街区了 |
| [04:40] | Now do you understand | 现在你明白 |
| [04:41] | why you’re not supposed to run | 为什么不可以追着球 |
| [04:42] | into the street after your ball? | 横穿马路了吧 |
| [04:43] | See, this is not my fault. This is his fault. | 这不是我的错 是他的错 |
| [04:45] | Look, nobody’s pointing any fingers. | 没人怪你 |
| [04:53] | I know my daughter’s death certificate | 我知道我女儿的死亡证明肯定 |
| [04:56] | is in here… somewhere. | 就在…某个地方 |
| [04:58] | How’s your wife? | 你老婆最近好吗 |
| [05:00] | Other than that time | 撇开你们俩 |
| [05:00] | you both kidnapped Hope, I was a fan. | 绑架喜旺的那次不说 我挺喜欢你们的 |
| [05:02] | Oh, yeah, she’s still in prison. | 她嘛 还在牢里蹲着呢 |
| [05:04] | I-I got out early for good behavior, | 我是因为表现良好提前获释的 |
| [05:05] | but Margine is doing an extra 12 years | 但玛吉因为刺了看守几刀 |
| [05:07] | for shanking a guard. | 刑期又被延长了12年 |
| [05:09] | Sorry to hear that. | 真抱歉 |
| [05:10] | Yeah, but on the upside, uh, | 但从好的一面看 |
| [05:12] | now we know that Lucy didn’t get all that violent, | 现在我们知道露西暴力凶残的性格 |
| [05:14] | murdery stuff from my gene pool. | 也不全是从我这里遗传去的了 |
| [05:15] | Look, Jimmy’s wedding is tomorrow, | 我说 明天就是吉米的婚礼了 |
| [05:17] | so we really need you to find that death certificate. | 我们真的很需要找到那张死亡证明 |
| [05:20] | He and Sabrina can’t get married without it. | 没有那张纸 他和塞布丽娜就结不了婚 |
| [05:22] | And they’re so in love, | 他们两孩子深爱彼此 |
| [05:23] | it would break their hearts. | 万一不能结婚 可得伤心死了 |
| [05:24] | Probably his more than hers. | 当然最主要是吉米伤心 |
| [05:27] | You! | 是你们 |
| [05:34] | Well, that’s why I couldn’t find her death certificate. | 这就是为什么我找不到她的死亡证明 |
| [05:36] | Because… Lucy isn’t dead. | 因为 露西 她还活着 |
| [05:47] | Are you telling me she survived | 你是说这丫头上完了电椅 |
| [05:48] | getting electrocuted and getting hit by a bus? | 又被巴士撞 都还没死翘翘 |
| [05:51] | Yeah, she’s a little fighter. | 是的 她命可硬着着呢 |
| [05:52] | Gets it from her grandfather. | 这点估计遗传自他爷爷 |
| [05:54] | Nazi sympathizer. | 他是纳粹主义者 |
| [05:56] | Shot eight times, | 中弹8次 |
| [05:57] | still a scratch golfer well into his 90s. | 到了90高龄还能打出一手好高尔夫球 |
| [05:59] | That is a really sweet story, | 真是温馨动人的小故事 |
| [06:01] | but how the hell did she get here? | 可她到底是怎么回到这里来的 |
| [06:03] | Oh, she was barely alive when the hospital called, | 医院打电话来时 她基本只剩一口气了 |
| [06:05] | so I-I snuck her back here to die in peace. | 所以我把她偷运出来 想她魂归故里 |
| [06:08] | And then she just pulled through. | 结果她就慢慢好转了 |
| [06:10] | She woke up in her childhood bedroom | 她在她童年的房间醒来 |
| [06:12] | and thought she was eight years old again. | 以为自己只有8岁 |
| [06:14] | Taking a bus to the skull | 脑袋被公交车 |
| [06:15] | scrambles up the old noggin a bit. | 给撞失忆了 |
| [06:17] | If she thinks she’s eight, | 如果她以为自己只有8岁 |
| [06:18] | then why’d she just try to kill us? | 那为啥她刚才想要杀掉我们 |
| [06:20] | Well, seeing you guys must have triggered something | 你们大概就触动了她的哪根神经 |
| [06:22] | in her brain, but as you witnessed, | 但你们也看到了 |
| [06:24] | I superglued a very powerful shock collar | 我在她脖子上用万能胶黏上了非常强劲的 |
| [06:27] | to her neck. | 电击颈圈 |
| [06:28] | I got it from a patient of mine who’s a masochist. | 我是从我的一个性虐狂病人那里搞到的 |
| [06:30] | I had to threaten not to kick his ass | 我告诉他如果不给我 |
| [06:32] | in order to get it. | 就别想让我狠踹他的屁股 |
| [06:33] | This is crazy. I’m calling the police. | 这太离谱了 我要打电话报警 |
| [06:35] | No, no, no, no. No, no. | 别别别 千万别 |
| [06:37] | Look, if she goes back into the system, | 如果她又被抓进去了 |
| [06:39] | she’ll just be out again in a year or two, and… | 大概关一两年就又被放出来了 |
| [06:41] | something out there will trigger her. | 搞不好哪件事就让她恢复记忆了 |
| [06:43] | Everyone is safer if she’s here. | 她关在这里 对大家都好 |
| [06:46] | With me. | 我会看着她 |
| [06:46] | I know the rest of the world | 我知道别人都把她看成 |
| [06:48] | just sees her as a serial killer, | 是一个连环杀手 |
| [06:50] | but to me, she’s still that little girl | 但对我来说 她还是那个 |
| [06:53] | who used to call a suitcase a… A coo-sace. | 把手提箱念成手屁酱的小姑娘 |
| [06:57] | Jimmy still says “Pasketti,” | 吉米现在还读错”意利大面条” |
| [06:58] | so I totally got where Dale was coming from. | 所以我完全理解戴尔的想法 |
| [07:00] | It’s crazy. | 这太荒谬了 |
| [07:01] | I wanted to turn her in. | 我要去揭发她 |
| [07:03] | But then she probably wouldn’t sign the divorce papers, | 但这样的话她大概不会同意签字离婚 |
| [07:05] | and the wedding would be delayed. | 这样婚礼就得推迟了 |
| [07:06] | So, we made a deal. | 于是我们达成了协议 |
| [07:08] | I picked up a few skills in prison: | 我在牢里学到了不少 |
| [07:10] | fighting off rapists with sharp toe nails, | 比如用尖利的脚趾甲反抗强奸犯 |
| [07:12] | making an excellent toilet merlot. | 用马桶调制醇厚的梅乐 |
| [07:15] | Spent a lot of time in the computer lab | 成天泡在机房钻研 |
| [07:17] | where I got very good at graphic design. | 让我的作品毫无PS痕迹 |
| [07:20] | So I forged a death certificate, yeah. | 所以我伪造了一张死亡证明 |
| [07:23] | Best wedding gift ever. | 史上最好的结婚礼物 |
| [07:25] | And, it came with a free bottle of wine. | 而且还附带一瓶自制美酒哦 |
| [07:28] | Now we’ll go get the wedding license, | 我们这就去领结婚证 |
| [07:30] | and they can wake up tomorrow | 这样他们明天一早醒来 |
| [07:31] | and just enjoy their wedding day. | 就可以欢欢喜喜参加婚礼了 |
| [07:33] | I went online to see how you guys should wear these. | 我上网去查你们该不该穿这个 |
| [07:36] | And apparently, it’s called a cummerbund, | 原来这玩意叫做男式腰带 |
| [07:39] | not a cumberbun. | 而不是女式腰带 |
| [07:42] | Makes me wonder if there are other words | 让我不禁好奇这世上还有什么 |
| [07:43] | I’ve been saying wrong. | 都被我念错了 |
| [07:44] | James and Sabrina are having their reception in a gymnasium | 吉米和塞布丽娜的婚宴将在体育馆举行 |
| [07:47] | because they’re on a tight budget. | 因为他们预算太少 |
| [07:49] | So, to help out, I offered to cater. | 所以我主动要求帮他们供应餐点 |
| [07:50] | And to dust off my old DJ turntables from the ’80s. | 顺便也让我那套80年代的打碟机出来透透气 |
| [08:02] | Ladies! | 女士们 |
| [08:03] | Tap aerobics was supposed to be over at 11:30. | 有氧操11点30就结束了 |
| [08:05] | It’s now 11:31. | 现在已经11点31分了 |
| [08:08] | Any fat you haven’t tapped off by now | 今天你们没甩完的肥肉 |
| [08:10] | can wait until tomorrow. | 留待明天继续也不迟 |
| [08:15] | Programs. Get your programs. | 节目表 请拿好你的节目表 |
| [08:18] | It’s the only way to know how much more | 只有这个才能让你知道 |
| [08:20] | you’ve got to sit through. | 你还得坐在这里煎熬多久 |
| [08:23] | Reverend Bob, we got Jimmy and Sabrina’s marriage license. | 牧师 我们拿到吉米和塞布丽娜的结婚证了 |
| [08:25] | Marvelous. I’ve been waiting… | 太棒了 我一直在等 |
| [08:27] | Wha-wha…? | 怎 怎么回事 |
| [08:28] | You? | 是你 |
| [08:30] | Barbara June Thompson? | 芭芭拉·琼·汤普森 |
| [08:32] | I thought you died 50 years ago. | 我以为你50年前就死了呢 |
| [08:34] | Oh, yeah, I remember him. | 我记得这个人 |
| [08:38] | Oh, I used to fake my death all the time. | 我以前经常装死来着 |
| [08:40] | Mostly to get out of stuff. | 一般都是为了摆脱某些麻烦 |
| [08:42] | Oh, especially when I was giving voice lessons | 特别是在给又肥又笨 |
| [08:45] | to little, chubby, talentless brats | 唱歌跟海豹嘶鸣差不多的小屁孩 |
| [08:48] | who sang like a seal. | 上声乐课时 |
| [08:49] | The animal, not the Grammy winner | 我说的是海豹 不是海蒂·克鲁姆 |
| [08:52] | with the messed-up face. | 那满脸是疤的歌手前夫 |
| [08:54] | Anyway, uh, faking a heart attack | 总之 假装心脏病突发 |
| [08:57] | was a lot less traumatic than telling them | 比起直接告诉他们唱得有多烂 |
| [08:59] | how terrible they were. | 要好受些 |
| [09:01] | Because of you, I gave up my dream | 就因为你 我才放弃了 |
| [09:03] | of becoming the next Frankie Valli. | 成为下一个弗兰克·瓦利的梦想[著名歌手] |
| [09:05] | You’re an evil woman, Barbara June Thompson. | 你这个阴险毒妇 芭芭拉·琼·汤普森 |
| [09:08] | And I refuse to marry anyone | 我拒绝为任何和你有关系的人 |
| [09:10] | who is related to you. | 主持婚礼 |
| [09:12] | What? No… | 啥 别呀 |
| [09:14] | No, no, no, ma’am. | 别拦我 女士 |
| [09:17] | Oh, no. | 我的天 |
| [09:18] | Jimmy and Sabrina cannot find out about any of this. | 可不能让吉米和塞布丽娜发现这事 |
| [09:20] | I’ll stay here with Maw Maw and work on Reverend Bob. | 我和奶奶留在这里做鲍勃牧师的工作 |
| [09:22] | Burt, go stall ’em. | 伯特 你去拖住他们 |
| [09:26] | By the way, Maw Maw, now I now you faked that heart attack | 多嘴一句 奶奶我这才意识到你教我西文时 |
| [09:28] | when you were trying to teach me Spanish. | 是假装心脏病发作了 |
| [09:33] | Apology accepted. | 我接受你的道歉 |
| [09:38] | What’s with the sword? | 你拿把剑做什么 |
| [09:40] | I take my job as backup best man very seriously. | 以表现我要认真当好备胎伴郎 |
| [09:46] | The truth is, | 真实情况是 |
| [09:47] | my high school wouldn’t let me bring this sword to prom. | 当年学校不许我佩剑参加高中毕业舞会 |
| [09:50] | Now I finally get a chance to use it. | 现在终于逮着机会了 |
| [09:56] | Small problem. | 出了点小问题 |
| [09:58] | Why is he going up there? | 他怎么跑前面去了 |
| [09:59] | Is it starting? | 婚礼开始了吗 |
| [10:00] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
| [10:01] | We were too cheap to pay for a rehearsal. | 我们没钱 所以没彩排 |
| [10:03] | Just go, go. | 你去问问 |
| [10:11] | What’s happening? | 怎么了 |
| [10:16] | No, no, no, no, no, no, no. | 没没没 |
| [10:17] | Sit down, sit down. This isn’t it. This is not it. | 都坐下吧 还没开始呢 |
| [10:19] | Sit down, sit down. | 请坐 坐吧 |
| [10:24] | He was, uh, exercising across town. | 他今天满镇子跑 |
| [10:26] | With weights or demons? | 是减肥还是驱魔 |
| [10:28] | I didn’t ask. Point is, it’s going to be a while. | 我没问 总之一时半会儿到不了 |
| [10:30] | Oh, man. | 天啊 |
| [10:31] | Well, what are we going to do? | 那我们怎么办 |
| [10:33] | We have all these people here, and I just… | 嘉宾都入座了 我… |
| [10:35] | I don’t want to be rude. | 我不想失礼 |
| [10:37] | What part of “sit down” do you not understand? | 听不懂”坐下”什么意思吗 |
| [10:39] | Sit! | 赶紧坐下 |
| [10:42] | I think I know how we can kill some time | 我知道怎么一边打发时间 |
| [10:44] | till Reverend Bob shows up. | 一边等鲍勃牧师了 |
| [10:46] | Reception before the ceremony. | 婚宴提到婚礼前举行了 |
| [10:48] | Jimmy’s a big fan of doing things out of order. | 咱家吉米不爱按常理出牌 |
| [10:50] | Just ask Hope. | 喜旺就是人证 |
| [10:59] | Mind if I take her for one last spin? | 我能最后请她跳支舞吗 |
| [11:10] | Dale? | 戴尔 |
| [11:14] | Taquito? | 要玉米卷吗 |
| [11:16] | What are you doing here? | 你怎么来了 |
| [11:17] | This disguise seemed like a much better idea | 我以为婚宴会有很多服务生 |
| [11:18] | when I thought there’d be other servers here. | 所以才想这样混进来 |
| [11:20] | What’s going on? | 出什么事了 |
| [11:21] | Uh, bit of a problem. | 出了点小状况 |
| [11:23] | Uh, Lucy escaped. | 露西逃跑了 |
| [11:24] | You haven’t seen her, have you? | 你没见着她吧 |
| [11:26] | No. | 没 |
| [11:27] | I thought you said you had her under control. | 你不是说能制住她吗 |
| [11:29] | I did, uh, but her brain got triggered again. | 我是说过 但她又受刺激了 |
| [11:33] | The Natesville Cake-tastrophe | 纳什维尔蛋糕惨案 |
| [11:36] | has taken an ugly, environmental turn. | 引发了严重的环境问题 |
| [11:38] | We have now confirmed that there are five icing-covered pigeons | 现已确认有五只糖霜鸽子 |
| [11:42] | being treated at local animal hospitals. | 在当地动物医院接受治疗 |
| [11:45] | And animal experts are preparing | 动物专家们正准备应对 |
| [11:47] | for an outbreak of raccoon diabetes. | 浣熊糖尿病的爆发 |
| [11:50] | But in more joyful news, | 下面说点开心的 |
| [11:52] | the happy couple who caused this mess, | 造成混乱的幸福小情侣 |
| [11:52] | 詹姆士·吉斯 与 塞布丽娜·科林斯 喜结连理 | |
| [11:54] | James Chance and Sabrina Collins, | 詹姆士·吉斯和塞布丽娜·科林斯 |
| [11:57] | walked away from the accident | 潇洒挥别事故现场 |
| [11:58] | and will walk down the aisle this afternoon | 即将于今日下午 |
| [12:01] | at the United Church of Natesville. | 在纳什维尔联众教堂举行婚礼 |
| [12:04] | No! | 不 |
| [12:08] | I’m calling the police. | 我马上报警 |
| [12:09] | No, no, no, no, no, Burt, don’t. | 别 伯特 不要报警 |
| [12:10] | What-what if this was… what if this was Hope? | 如果…如果这是喜旺呢 |
| [12:14] | I mean, she is Lucy’s daughter. | 她是露西的女儿 |
| [12:16] | That makes her half serial killer. | 难保不变成连环杀手 |
| [12:17] | That’ll never happen. | 怎么可能 |
| [12:24] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [12:25] | But Virginia can never find out about this. | 但这事决不能让维吉妮亚知道 |
| [12:27] | I remember when Lucy tore apart her first stray cat. | 我还记得露西第一次肢解流浪猫的场景 |
| [12:31] | They grow up so fast. | 孩子们长得真快 |
| [12:35] | I wasn’t paying attention. | 当时怎么没留个心眼 |
| [12:38] | Dan, that was amazing. | 丹 你跳得太棒了 |
| [12:41] | If you know any single homeless ladies, | 如果你认识单身的流浪姑娘 |
| [12:43] | I’m on the market. | 记得介绍给我 |
| [12:45] | Literally. | 说真的 |
| [12:46] | I live on top of the market. | 我可是流浪汉中的头号王老五 |
| [12:56] | Lucy’s either hiding or in disguise. | 露西要么藏起来了 要么伪装了 |
| [12:57] | We’re gonna have to check everyone here. | 这里每个人都不能放过 |
| [12:59] | You’re right. | 没错 |
| [13:01] | What are you doing? | 你这是干嘛 |
| [13:02] | Oh. She’s that good. | 别小看她 |
| [13:07] | Ooh. Stop. | 别这样 |
| [13:08] | Okay, okay, okay. Okay. | 好了 好啦 |
| [13:16] | Would you care to dance? | 愿意跳支舞吗 |
| [13:17] | Oh, no. | 不了 |
| [13:21] | Would you care to dance? | 愿意跳支舞吗 |
| [13:28] | Would you care to dance? | 愿意跳支舞吗 |
| [13:31] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [13:37] | Go ahead. | 跳吧 |
| [13:39] | I just want to watch. | 我只想过眼瘾 |
| [13:40] | Will you please come out and talk to us, Reverend Bob? | 您不能出来和我们谈谈吗 鲍勃牧师 |
| [13:47] | Please don’t go. | 求您别走 |
| [13:47] | I’m sure we can work this out. | 天下哪有解决不了的事啊 |
| [13:49] | I thought I killed that woman with my voice. | 我以为我的歌声害死了她 |
| [13:52] | I didn’t speak for five years. | 之后的五年我都不敢开口说话 |
| [13:54] | I had to learn sign language. | 为此我不得不学习手语 |
| [14:02] | You don’t even want to know what I just called you. | 你绝对不想知道我刚骂了你什么 |
| [14:06] | All this whining brings back memories | 他在那唧唧歪歪又让我想起了 |
| [14:08] | of his awful high notes. | 那瘆人的高音 |
| [14:09] | Look, she’s crazy, okay? | 听着 她是个疯子 好吗 |
| [14:12] | You don’t even want to know | 她曾怎样贬低我 |
| [14:13] | what she told me I could never do. | 说出来都怕脏了您的耳朵 |
| [14:14] | She said I could never be a-a doctor, or a lawyer, | 她说我这辈子都别想当医生或律师 |
| [14:18] | or a Laker Girl like Paula Abdul Jabbar. | 也别想像吴莫愁一样参加好声音 |
| [14:21] | – Did you ever become any of those things? – No. | -你用行动否定了她吗 -没 |
| [14:23] | I’m a maid because I listened to her. | 我听了她的话 结果成了女佣 |
| [14:25] | And also ’cause I got pregnant at 15 | 不过也是因为我十五岁就未婚先孕 |
| [14:28] | and dropped out of high school. | 连高中都没读完 |
| [14:30] | And I’m a little lazy. | 而且我也有点懒 |
| [14:32] | But the point is, you can’t let anyone but you | 我想说的是 在追梦的路上 |
| [14:35] | destroy your dreams. | 唯一的敌人就是自己 |
| [14:36] | Well, I’ve always wanted to… | 这首歌我憋在心里很多年了 |
| [14:40] | *Croon again* | *让我再高歌一曲* |
| [14:47] | You have a wonderful voice. | 您的嗓音太动听了 |
| [14:50] | Really? Do you think so? | 真的吗 你真这么想 |
| [14:51] | Definitely. | 确定肯定以及一定 |
| [14:52] | You’re better than a lot of professional singers. | 您比许多专业歌手唱得都好 |
| [14:55] | Linda McCartney and, uh, um, | 简直是邓丽君 |
| [14:58] | Captain Kirk come to mind. | 凤飞飞再世 |
| [15:00] | Great news. | 好消息 |
| [15:02] | Reverend Bob just arrived. | 鲍勃牧师刚到现场 |
| [15:03] | Thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
| [15:05] | Ugh, now we can finally get this wedding | 现在婚礼终于可以 |
| [15:06] | back on track and do things the way we planned. | 按计划进行了 |
| [15:09] | Well, not exactly. | 也不全是 |
| [15:12] | You won’t be walking down the aisle | 婚礼正式开始的时候 |
| [15:13] | to “Here Comes the Bride.” | 不放婚礼进行曲了 |
| [15:15] | I knew Virginia would be mad | 维吉妮亚如果发现 |
| [15:16] | if she found out I was hiding the fact | 我隐瞒露西逃跑的实情 |
| [15:17] | that Lucy had escaped, | 一定会生气的 |
| [15:18] | so I decided not to tell her, | 所以我决定保密到底 |
| [15:20] | which meant it was up to me | 这意味着只有靠我 |
| [15:21] | to keep this white wedding from becoming a red wedding. | 阻止喜事变悲剧 |
| [15:27] | Did that sound cool? | 很酷有没有 |
| [15:28] | It seemed cool. | 有 |
| [15:41] | I can’t do this. | 我撑不住的 |
| [15:43] | I ate too many taquitos at the reception. | 宴会上玉米卷吃多了 |
| [15:46] | There’s no way I’m gonna make it through the ceremony | 婚礼途中 |
| [15:47] | without having to go to the bathroom. | 我肯定会去洗手间 |
| [15:49] | You’re gonna have to take my place as best man. | 你代替我当伴郎吧 |
| [15:52] | Here. | 拿着 |
| [15:54] | I ate a lot of taquitos, too. | 我也吃了很多玉米卷 |
| [15:56] | But a good backup best man always comes prepared. | 但好的备胎伴郎总是有备而来 |
| [16:12] | I’m so happy for you, Sabrina, | 我真为你高兴 塞布丽娜 |
| [16:14] | but unfortunately my stomach is not. | 可惜我的胃闹脾气了 |
| [16:17] | Are you sure you’re okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [16:18] | I’m fine. I’ll just watch from back here | 没事 我就在后面看着 |
| [16:20] | and be closer to the facilities. | 离厕所近一点 |
| [16:22] | All right. | 好了 |
| [16:23] | Let’s do this. | 开始吧 |
| [16:28] | *Big girls. Don’t cry.* | *女儿有泪不轻弹* |
| [16:32] | Are you kidding me? | 开什么国际玩笑 |
| [16:34] | The faster we walk, the sooner he stops. | 我们快点走 他就早些停 |
| [16:36] | *Big girls. Don’t cry.* | *女儿有泪不轻弹* |
| [16:40] | Burt. Sorry. | 伯特 对不起 |
| [16:44] | – Look at that, Dale. – Be seated. | -看啊 戴尔 -请坐 |
| [16:46] | One day, you’re taking them for pony rides | 昨天他们还由你领着骑小马驹 |
| [16:48] | and going trick-or-treating… | 过万圣节 |
| [16:50] | Next thing you know, | 一眨眼就成了 |
| [16:51] | she’s responsible for seven homicides that we know of, | 杀死七个人的凶手 |
| [16:54] | and wearing a shock collar designed for livestock. | 像牲口一样被套上电击项圈 |
| [16:57] | Where does the time go? | 时光飞逝啊 |
| [16:59] | Hey… if she’s still wearing that collar, | 对了 如果她还带着项圈 |
| [17:02] | maybe we should hit the button. | 我们按那个按钮 |
| [17:03] | Maybe we’ll hear her scream. | 她或许会发出惨叫 |
| [17:08] | Huh. Nothing. | 没声音 |
| [17:11] | Coast is clear. | 边境安全 |
| [17:17] | Love isn’t just an emotion. | 爱不只是一种感觉 |
| [17:19] | It’s a taste, touch, smell. | 还是味觉 触觉 嗅觉的体现 |
| [17:23] | What does love smell like, you might ask? | 你们可能会问 爱是什么气味 |
| [17:26] | To me, it smells like the burning propane from a hot air balloon | 对我来说 那是晴朗的秋日清晨 |
| [17:32] | as you’re floating through the sky on a crisp autumn morning | 和好基友史蒂夫坐在热气球里 |
| [17:36] | with your best friend, Steve. | 闻到的燃料味道 |
| [17:39] | What does love taste like? | 爱是什么味道呢 |
| [17:40] | Well, to me… | 对我来说 |
| [17:41] | You’ve got the shock power set at one? | 你电击级别设的最低档 |
| [17:43] | Oh, yeah, I-I couldn’t stand to set it any higher. | 是啊 我不忍心再设高了 |
| [17:46] | She… she’s my little girl. | 她是我的小心肝 |
| [17:48] | She’s not my little girl. | 她可不是我的小心肝 |
| [17:53] | Oh, there you are, sweetie. | 你在这里啊 宝贝 |
| [18:00] | Weddings aren’t just about the bride and groom. | 婚礼不是两个人的事 |
| [18:02] | They also bring families together. | 是一家人的事 |
| [18:10] | The rings, please. | 请交换戒指 |
| [18:13] | And while something unexpected usually happens, | 意外的发生 |
| [18:16] | that’s what makes them interesting. | 使婚礼妙趣横生 |
| [18:30] | But in the end, all that matters | 但到头来最重要的 |
| [18:32] | is those two important words. | 还是那珍贵的三个字 |
| [18:34] | Help me. | 救救我 |
| [18:36] | I do. | 我愿意 |
| [18:37] | There’s no TV to hit me over the head with this time. | 这次没人拿电视砸我脑袋了 |
| [18:44] | This is God’s TV. | 这是上帝的电视 |
| [18:46] | Sorry, baby. | 对不起 宝贝 |
| [18:48] | I do. | 我愿意 |
| [18:50] | You may now kiss your lovely bride. | 你可以吻美丽的新娘了 |
| [19:28] | We had a few minor issues, | 也出了些小状况 |
| [19:30] | like the cake disaster, | 比如那个蛋糕惨案 |
| [19:32] | but for the most part, | 但大体上 |
| [19:34] | everything went off without a hitch. | 每件事都顺利完成了 |
| [19:36] | And our gift to them was | 而我们送的贺礼 |
| [19:37] | we let them believe that nonsense. | 就是把他们蒙在鼓里 |
| [19:39] | They never found out about the marriage license fiasco | 他们永远不会发现结婚证的事 |
| [19:42] | or Reverend Bob refusing to do the wedding. | 或鲍勃牧师拒绝主持婚礼的事 |
| [19:44] | Yup, we took care of everything. | 我们把一切都打点好了 |
| [19:46] | Even put our lives on the line to save the day. | 甚至为此命悬一线 |
| [19:49] | That might be taking it a little far. | 这么说就太夸张了 |
| [19:54] | As you can see, | 如你所见 |
| [19:55] | Lucy’s returned to her childlike state. | 露西回到了孩童时期 |
| [19:57] | She doesn’t even remember the wedding. | 甚至不记得有那么个婚礼 |
| [19:59] | Just keep her away from us from now on, okay? | 别再让她靠近我们了 行吗 |
| [20:01] | I mean, no offense, but we’re kind of done | 没别的意思 只是我们受够了 |
| [20:02] | with the whole Lucy coming back from the dead thing. | 露西死而复生的戏码 |
| [20:05] | It’s like every year we think she’s gone, | 每年我们以为她死了 |
| [20:07] | and then she comes back in some crazy way. | 她又会跑出来吓人 |
| [20:09] | Messes up our lives again. | 再一次搅乱我们的生活 |
| [20:11] | It’s getting old. | 太老套了 |
| [20:12] | I promise, we’ll be out of your lives, uh, forever, | 我发誓 我们再也不会打搅你们 |
| [20:14] | but you do realize we’ve been being filmed the entire time, | 但你知道他们一直在录像的吧 |
| [20:16] | so Jimmy and Sabrina are gonna see their wedding video | 这样吉米和塞布丽娜看到录像 |
| [20:18] | and know that, uh, Lucy’s alive. | 就会知道露西还活着了 |
| [20:20] | Oh, man, you’re right. | 天啊 有道理 |
| [20:23] | How we gonna fix this? | 这可怎么办 |
| [20:24] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [20:29] | Hear me now? Hear me now? | 叫你录 录不了了吧 |
| [20:34] | All right, Mom. | 好了 妈妈 |
| [20:35] | That’s it. | 这就是全部了 |
| [20:38] | Thank you so much for this incredible gift. | 非常感谢你的这份大礼 |
| [20:40] | We’re gonna cherish it forever. | 我们会永远珍惜它的 |
| [20:42] | I’m sure we’re gonna watch it a million times. | 我们肯定会反反复复地看 |
| [20:44] | And, um, when we do, | 到时候 |
| [20:48] | I want Jimmy to hear this last part. | 我希望吉米听到最后这段话 |
| [20:52] | Jimmy, you always make it seem like | 吉米 你总觉得 |
| [20:55] | you’re lucky to have me as your wife, but… | 娶我为妻很幸运 但其实 |
| [20:59] | I’m the lucky one. | 我才是幸运的那个 |
| [21:01] | I’m lucky to have you and Hope | 我很庆幸身边有你 |
| [21:03] | and your entire family in my life, and… | 有喜旺 还有你的家人 |
| [21:07] | sometimes I feel like I don’t say that to you enough, | 虽然很少向你提起 |
| [21:09] | but it’s true. | 但这是真心话 |
| [21:12] | And when we watch this with our grandkids one day, | 到了和孙子一起看这个视频的时候 |
| [21:15] | I want them to know how much you mean to me. | 我想让他们知道 你在我心中有多重要 |
| [21:19] | I love you. | 我爱你 |