| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | – Are you ready to laugh? -Yeah! | -准备好开始乐了吗 -准备好了 |
| [00:03] | Great! Well, before we get started, | 好 开始之前 |
| [00:05] | at least you should know what you’re laughing at. | 至少要知道待会乐什么 |
| [00:08] | Here’s what happened last week. | 上周是这么回事 |
| [00:11] | Barney wanted to impress his friends | 巴尼为打动吉米和塞布丽娜 |
| [00:13] | Jimmy and Sabrina with a trip to Los Angeles. | 载他们去洛杉矶度蜜月 |
| [00:15] | Do you think you could talk to Trevor | 你能不能帮喜旺 |
| [00:16] | about getting Hope an autograph? | 问特雷弗要张签名呢 |
| [00:17] | I can do better than that. | 这算什么 |
| [00:19] | How about I call Trevor and get you tickets to see the show? | 我能问特雷弗要到节目入场券 |
| [00:21] | So the Chances loaded up their truck | 于是吉斯一家打包上路 |
| [00:24] | and took a hilarious trip to Hollywood. | 开始了好莱坞欢乐之旅 |
| [00:26] | But when they got here, something unexpected happened. | 但在片场 意外发生了 |
| [00:30] | Not again. Come on, kid, that’s your cue. | 拜托 小孩 该你了 |
| [00:32] | Give him the raspberry. | 冲他吐舌头 |
| [00:33] | Drew Barrymore could’ve done this drunk at your age. | 杨幂像你这么大的时候喝醉了都能演 |
| [00:36] | And that’s when a star was born. | 于是 一颗新星诞生了 |
| [00:40] | Who just did that? | 刚刚那声谁发的 |
| [00:43] | I can’t believe it. Hope’s gonna be a star. | 不敢相信 喜旺要成名了 |
| [00:46] | So now that you’re all caught up, here we go! | 了解完前情 就走起 |
| [01:07] | Hey! Congratulations! | 恭喜啊 |
| [01:09] | Hope’s gonna be a star! Yay! | 喜旺要成明星啦 |
| [01:12] | All right, so, today she’s got hair, wardrobe, | 今天她要做头发 换服装 |
| [01:14] | an appointment with a personal trainer, | 见私人教练 |
| [01:16] | and… the insurance company wants her | 另外保险公司要喜旺验个尿 |
| [01:18] | to tinkle in this for a drug test. | 做个药检 |
| [01:19] | Urine, snot– whatever we can squeeze out of her is all yours. | 嘘嘘 鼻涕 能挤出来的都给你 |
| [01:26] | Why is the audience still here? | 观众怎么还在 |
| [01:28] | Oh, yeah, we like to keep ’em here until they get agitated. | 是啊 磨光他们的耐心 |
| [01:30] | Then we unleash them on the Jerry Springer stage. It’s fun. | 再放去《杰里情感秀》 那可欢乐了 |
| [01:33] | Anyway, we like to ask a member of the family to be an extra, | 我们还需要一名家庭成员 |
| [01:36] | to help the kid actors through the scenes. | 辅助宝宝录制 |
| [01:37] | Any of you want to be on the show? | 你们谁想上节目 |
| [01:40] | Usually we ask the mother. | 一般都请妈妈上 |
| [01:41] | Oh, her real mother’s dead. | 她亲妈死了 |
| [01:44] | Oh, don’t worry, she was a serial killer. | 没事儿 她是个连环杀手 |
| [01:49] | All right, then I guess Dad it is. | 好吧 那就爸爸来 |
| [01:52] | Just head over to wardrobe later and get your costume. | 待会去更衣室领服装 |
| [01:55] | And don’t forget to pee in the cup, okay? | 记得尿在杯子里 |
| [01:57] | Any one of you can do it, as long as you’re clean. | 只要没磕药 谁尿都可以 |
| [02:06] | Hey, glad you guys could come. | 真高兴你们能来 |
| [02:07] | Uh, these are my writers. | 这些是给我写台词的 |
| [02:09] | They come up with my insults now. | 现在靠他们打嘴仗 |
| [02:11] | Not like back in the old days | 今非昔比 |
| [02:12] | when Jimmy stood between me and this Natesville “Ten”. | 吉米可坏不了我和纳什维尔10分女神的好事了 |
| [02:16] | Hollywood “Four”. | 我有好莱坞四侠 |
| [02:17] | But don’t worry, | 但别紧张 |
| [02:18] | I’m all full of good will now. | 我现在没那意思了 |
| [02:19] | Just like your closet, Jimmy. | 就像你的衣柜一样 |
| [02:24] | Okay, you’re lucky you’re just a kid. | 算你走运 小屁孩 |
| [02:26] | But in four more years, | 再过四年 |
| [02:27] | you’re gonna be 18, | 你就成年了 |
| [02:29] | and when you blow out those candles, | 吹蜡烛的时候 |
| [02:31] | you better wish for an ass-kicking, | 最好许愿被暴打一顿 |
| [02:33] | ’cause that’s what you’re gonna get! | 一定让你如愿 |
| [02:38] | You don’t stand a chance against me, Jimmy. | 你赢不了我的 吉米 |
| [02:40] | They love me– I’m a big star | 他们爱我 我是个大明星 |
| [02:42] | that gets the Jonas Brothers’ leftovers. | 能搞到乔纳森兄弟乐队吃剩的 |
| [02:43] | We’re talking about relatively hot girls | 我是说那些超级辣妹 |
| [02:45] | that’ll kiss both American and French style. | 她们既会法式热吻 也会美式 |
| [02:49] | Your nose is so big, when you sneeze | 你鼻子实在太大 打个喷嚏 |
| [02:51] | New Jersey has to evacuate its entire coastline. | 新泽西沿海地区要全部撤离 |
| [02:55] | Come on, guys. Too soon. | 给点力啊伙计们 说这个太早了 |
| [03:02] | Barbara June. | 芭芭拉·琼 |
| [03:03] | Wh-Where do you think you’re going? | 你这是上哪儿去 |
| [03:05] | Oh, I’m-I’m on my way to the beach | 我要去海边 |
| [03:07] | to get rid of Wilfred’s ashes. | 处理威尔弗雷德的骨灰 |
| [03:08] | Oh, well, I better come with you. | 我跟你一起去吧 |
| [03:10] | You’re wearing Crip colors, | 蓝色代表瘸帮 |
| [03:11] | and west of Lincoln is Blood territory. | 林肯市西部是仇家地盘 |
| [03:13] | It’s like you totally ignored | 你是不是完全无视 |
| [03:14] | all the advice in the travel brochures. | 旅游指南册上的忠告了 |
| [03:16] | I’m not dumping Wilfred’s ashes in the ocean. | 我不是要把骨灰撒进海里 |
| [03:18] | I’m gonna throw them in the face of that whore he cheated on me with, | 是要撒到小三脸上 |
| [03:20] | and hope she chokes to death on them | 希望能呛死那个婊子 |
| [03:22] | and burns in Hell. | 让她下地狱 |
| [03:24] | Oh, plus, there’s supposed to be | 而且那附近 |
| [03:25] | a good taco place nearby for after. | 有家玉米卷很好吃 |
| [03:28] | You want to come? | 你来不 |
| [03:29] | Well, I’m no stranger to betrayal. | 劈腿的戏码我可见了不少 |
| [03:31] | Last week our strongest elf left my online role-playing clan | 上周玩网游 我们正要打BOSS |
| [03:34] | right before we tried to take on the Dragon of Kjolnar. | 最强的精灵居然跑路了 |
| [03:37] | Also, my wife constantly cheated on me. | 而且我老婆经常搞外遇 |
| [03:39] | So, you want to help me? | 那你来帮我一把不 |
| [03:41] | Try and stop me. | 你可拒绝不了我 |
| [03:45] | That was a figure of speech. | 人家说说而已嘛 |
| [03:54] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [03:55] | Taking pictures of all this food. | 给食物拍照呢 |
| [03:57] | The guys back at the pool supply store will never believe | 泳池小卖部的店员们肯定不相信 |
| [04:00] | there’s a pile of free bacon as big as your head. | 有堆得跟头一样大的免费培根 |
| [04:02] | Ooh, wait, | 等等 |
| [04:02] | let me put my head next to it for scale. | 我把头搁在旁边做参照 |
| [04:07] | Now take a fistful of bacon | 再抓一大把培根 |
| [04:08] | and stuff it in your mouth to show that it’s free. | 塞进嘴巴里 以示免费 |
| [04:13] | I’m out of film! I got to get more film! | 胶卷没了 我要去买胶卷 |
| [04:15] | Well, I saw a drugstore on the way in here. | 我看到来的路上有个杂货店 |
| [04:17] | I’ll betcha they have more film. | 他们肯定卖胶卷 |
| [04:18] | Oh, and pick me up a toothbrush while you’re out. | 顺便给我买把牙刷 |
| [04:20] | Maw Maw used mine last night, and I’m not sure what for. | 奶奶昨晚用了我的 鬼知道拿去干嘛了 |
| [04:36] | Whoa… it’s all fake! | 哇 全是假的 |
| [04:40] | Hollywood, you keep throwing me curveballs! | 好莱坞 你真是惊喜不断啊 |
| [04:45] | Oh, my God. | 天哪 |
| [04:47] | You’re not fake at all, are you? | 你总不是假的吧 |
| [04:49] | A real Nicaraguan pink dowager. | 真正的尼加瓜拉粉太后 |
| [04:53] | What are you doing so far from home? | 您这么大老远跑来干嘛 |
| [04:55] | And you’re a mess. | 瞧您这乱的 |
| [04:57] | Nah… I’ll have you pruned up in no time. | 我马上给您收拾好 |
| [05:01] | What’s that? | 啥 |
| [05:02] | No, no. I’m from Natesville. | 不不 我是纳什维尔来的 |
| [05:05] | Okay, here’s the deal. | 听好了 |
| [05:07] | When the old whore opens the door, | 那个老婊子一开门 |
| [05:09] | you step back… | 你就退后 |
| [05:11] | and I’ll throw the ashes in her face. | 我迅速把骨灰撒到她脸上 |
| [05:16] | Hello, I’m a woman. Please don’t call me “Sir.” | 你好我是个女人 请不要叫我先生 |
| [05:19] | I’m Barbara June Thompson. | 我是芭芭拉·琼·汤普森 |
| [05:21] | I’m going to call you Beardface. | 那我就叫你胡子妹吧 |
| [05:24] | Is your grandmother home, Beardface? | 你奶奶在家吗 胡子妹 |
| [05:26] | Barbara June! Manners. | 芭芭拉·琼 没礼貌 |
| [05:28] | It’s a condition, | 我这是病 |
| [05:29] | and it’s a lot more common than you might think. | 而且很常见 |
| [05:31] | So are razors. | 剃须刀也是哦 |
| [05:33] | We’re not here for that. | 我们来不是为了这个 |
| [05:34] | I’m here looking for a skank | 我是来找一个混蛋 |
| [05:36] | by the name of Marienne Crabtree. | 她叫马瑞恩·克拉布特里 |
| [05:38] | Shh! Wait a second. | 嘘 等一下 |
| [05:42] | Grandpa, why don’t you go out to the garden. | 爷爷 你去花园遛遛吧 |
| [05:44] | Okay. | 好嘞 |
| [05:51] | Look, I know why you’re here. | 我知道你们来这干嘛 |
| [05:53] | I’m sorry if my grandmother slept with your husband | 很抱歉我奶奶睡了你男人 |
| [05:56] | or your boyfriend or broke your heart. | 或伤了你的心 |
| [05:57] | She was a huge whore; we all know it. | 她曾是个荡妇 我们都知道 |
| [05:59] | My grandfather doesn’t need to hear it. | 但我爷爷没必要知道 |
| [06:01] | What do you mean she was a huge whore? | 什么叫”曾是个荡妇” |
| [06:03] | With today’s advances in lotions and jellies and creams, | 如今整形美容业技术发达 |
| [06:06] | I’m sure she’s still out there trampin’ up the neighborhood. | 她肯定还在这一带勾三搭四 |
| [06:10] | Actually, she’s dead. | 其实她已经死了 |
| [06:13] | I hope that brings you some comfort. | 希望能让你心里好受点 |
| [06:17] | Well, I’m sorry you didn’t get your closure, | 没了结心愿真遗憾 |
| [06:20] | but, hey, look at the bright side– | 但看看好的一面 |
| [06:21] | she’s dead and you get to move on. | 她死了 你可以向前看了 |
| [06:23] | Oh… I’m making a move, all right– | 那我这就采取行动 |
| [06:25] | on that old geezer. | 搞定那个老家伙 |
| [06:27] | She slept with my man! | 她睡了我男人 |
| [06:29] | I’m gonna sleep with hers! | 我也要睡她的 |
| [06:32] | Oh, you’re quite mad, Barbara June. | 你真是疯得不轻 芭芭拉·琼 |
| [06:35] | But I can’t say your laugh isn’t a bit infectious. | 但你的笑声还真有感染力 |
| [06:50] | Hey, you! | 喂 |
| [06:52] | Who told you you could mess with that bush? | 谁同意你糟蹋那株灌木的 |
| [06:54] | I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be messing… | 对不起 我不是故意糟蹋… |
| [06:56] | Wait a minute, why am I apologizing to a golfer? | 慢着 我向个打高尔夫的道什么歉啊 |
| [06:59] | This bush has been severely neglected. | 这株灌木被严重忽视了 |
| [07:01] | Whoever’s in charge here should be ashamed of themselves. | 负责人应该觉得羞愧 |
| [07:04] | Well, you’ve got a take-charge attitude. | 你倒挺有责任感的嘛 |
| [07:07] | We need more people like you. | 我们需要更多像你这样的人 |
| [07:09] | So, what’s this bush supposed to look like? | 这株灌木应该长什么样 |
| [07:12] | Well, it’s not really supposed to look… | 现在还没… |
| [07:14] | I think it looks like a fat guy. | 我觉得它像个胖子 |
| [07:16] | I love fat guys! | 我喜欢胖子 |
| [07:17] | They make me laugh. | 他们能逗我开心 |
| [07:19] | Until they die young. | 不过都死太早 |
| [07:21] | And then I’m sad. | 又惹我难过 |
| [07:23] | You just made me laugh and cry. | 你能让我又哭又笑 |
| [07:27] | You’re a true artist. | 你真真是个艺术家 |
| [07:28] | Well, the art’s already in there– | 艺术气息就藏在它体内 |
| [07:29] | I just try to carve away the rest of the bush | 我只是剪掉多余的部分 |
| [07:31] | so you could see it. | 让它表露出来 |
| [07:32] | Listen, the courtyard by the parking structure needs a makeover. | 停车场旁边的院子需要修整 |
| [07:36] | You come to my office tomorrow with a pitch– | 你明天去我办公室推销 |
| [07:38] | and I don’t mean this whole “fat guy” thing, I’m over that. | 不要再用胖子这招 不新鲜了 |
| [07:41] | So you want me to “branch out”? | 你是要我抽出新枝条吗 |
| [07:43] | That’s funny! | 真搞笑 |
| [07:46] | Not strong enough to end the scene on… | 作为结尾还弱了点 |
| [07:48] | but funny. | 不过挺好笑 |
| [07:53] | All right, Hope, | 好了 喜旺 |
| [07:55] | we need to try on some of these clothes I got ya! | 来试试我买的衣服 |
| [07:57] | Whoa-whoa-whoa, we’re working on Hope’s craft. | 喜旺还在练演技呢 |
| [07:59] | Well, that’s a waste of time. | 浪费时间 |
| [08:01] | Child stars go downhill no matter how good they act. | 童星演技再好 也会走下坡路 |
| [08:05] | They could star in a Spielberg movie | 就算小时演过斯皮尔伯格的电影 |
| [08:06] | and still end up playing the nutty mom on some sitcom. | 最后也不过沦落到在喜剧演个脑残妈妈 |
| [08:10] | Trust me. | 相信我 |
| [08:11] | The real money is in product placement. | 真正来钱的是植入式广告 |
| [08:15] | AK Alvin Klein? | |
| [08:17] | Dolce and Banana? | 杜嘉扒纳 |
| [08:20] | Armenian Eagle? | 国美鹰 |
| [08:21] | Well, they’re knockoffs! | 都是山寨货 |
| [08:23] | We can’t put her in the big brand names yet– | 还不能给她穿名牌 |
| [08:25] | she hasn’t popped. | 她还没成名 |
| [08:26] | Acting is about art. | 演戏是门艺术 |
| [08:27] | It’s not about shamelessly trying to peddle a product. | 不是厚着脸皮叫卖商品 |
| [08:29] | Yeah? Tell that to that Paul Newman guy. | 是吗 这话跟保罗·纽曼说去 |
| [08:31] | He’s in every aisle of the grocery store. | 杂货店每条走道都有他的商品 |
| [08:33] | I think I even use his tampons. | 我用的卫生棉都可能是他的 |
| [08:36] | So, the concept is… | 大意是 |
| [08:38] | a notorious playboy dies | 一个声名狼藉的花花公子 |
| [08:40] | and can’t get into Heaven, | 死后无法上天堂 |
| [08:42] | so he’s got to go back to Earth | 于是返回人间 |
| [08:44] | and help couples find true love. | 帮情侣找到真爱 |
| [08:46] | It’s called Douche Angel. | 就叫《傻叉天使》 |
| [08:53] | No. | 不行 |
| [08:56] | I loved it. | 我很喜欢 |
| [08:58] | Plant Guy! | 剪草哥 |
| [09:00] | You’ve got five minutes. | 给你五分钟 |
| [09:03] | Do you have a cassette player? | 有卡带机吗 |
| [09:04] | No. | 没有 |
| [09:07] | Okay, uh… | 好吧 |
| [09:09] | I think the pitch’ll still work without music. | 没有音乐应该不碍事 |
| [09:12] | Two, three, four… | 二三四 |
| [09:14] | Hey, two, three, four. | 嘿二三四 |
| [09:15] | Plants, two, three, four. | 树二三四 |
| [09:17] | Courtyard! | 院子 |
| [09:20] | Interesting. | 有意思 |
| [09:22] | It’s like Glee but with plants. | 像植物版《欢乐合唱团》 |
| [09:25] | Go on. | 继续 |
| [09:28] | Two, three, four… | 二三四 |
| [09:30] | Okay. | 好 |
| [09:34] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [09:37] | We have to get Hope into wardrobe. | 喜旺得穿戏服 |
| [09:38] | No. We have to get Hope into Us Magazine, | 不 喜旺要上《我们》周刊 |
| [09:40] | and this outfit… | 这身装扮 |
| [09:43] | …is gonna do it. | 绝对能成功 |
| [09:44] | You are gonna get her fired | 你私自植入广告 |
| [09:45] | trying to sneak in your own product placement! | 会害她丢工作的 |
| [09:47] | She is an actor, not a race car. | 她是演员 不是赛车 |
| [09:50] | Oh. You had to play the race car. | 你得扮演赛车 |
| [09:55] | I feel like an idiot in this costume. | 穿这身戏服好白痴 |
| [09:58] | It makes me look like a total… | 看起来就… |
| [09:59] | Ass? | 像个屁股 |
| [10:00] | Well, technically, | 实际上 |
| [10:01] | my character is Dr. Buttcrack, | 我要扮演屁屁医生 |
| [10:03] | and apparently, I got my medical degree | 显然 我的医学学位 |
| [10:05] | from Fartbutt State University. | 是在屁屁州立大学拿的 |
| [10:07] | So, we ready to go? | 准备好了吗 |
| [10:09] | Excuse me? | 不好意思 |
| [10:10] | I don’t think that I can wear this on TV. | 我不能穿成这样上电视 |
| [10:13] | That’s fine with me. | 我无所谓 |
| [10:14] | Anyone else want to slip into this giant ass, get yourself on TV? | 还有谁想换上大屁股装上电视的 |
| [10:16] | -I’ll do it! – Oh, no-no-no-no. | -我 -不不 |
| [10:18] | I’ll do it. | 还是我来吧 |
| [10:19] | Great, great, ’cause my buzz is wearing off | 很好很好 一会儿该嗨不起来了 |
| [10:20] | and we only got two more hours with the kid. | 她的部分也只剩俩小时了 |
| [10:22] | All right, let’s shoot this steaming pile of show business! | 好了 节目趁热拍起来 |
| [10:30] | Hello, I’m a woman. | 你好我是个女人 |
| [10:31] | Please don’t… oh. | 请不要… |
| [10:33] | I’m so sorry to bother you again | 很抱歉再次打扰 |
| [10:35] | but I felt guilty all day | 可我一整天都在自责 |
| [10:36] | that my friend Barbara June came in here | 我的朋友芭芭拉·琼冒失来访 |
| [10:39] | and dredged up the memories of your whorish grandmother. | 勾起了您对荡妇奶奶的回忆 |
| [10:42] | A lovely woman such as yourself didn’t deserve that. | 像您这么美丽的姑娘不该受到如此对待 |
| [10:47] | Other than the milk company | 我喝问题牛奶长了胡子 |
| [10:48] | I sued over all those bull hormones, | 被告牛奶公司向我赔罪 |
| [10:50] | no one’s ever apologized to me before. | 除此之外 还没人向我道过歉 |
| [10:52] | I’m blushing. | 人家都不好意思了 |
| [10:55] | I-It’s hardly noticeable. | 看不太出来 |
| [10:57] | Would you like to come in for some tea? | 要不要进屋喝杯茶 |
| [11:00] | Oh, I’d like that very much. | 荣幸之至 |
| [11:08] | And with a little rain… | 加上雨露的滋养 |
| [11:11] | and the warmth of the sun… | 阳光的温暖 |
| [11:18] | …and of course, the finest manure… | 以及上好的肥料 |
| [11:22] | Uh, we get it! We get it. | 大家都懂 打住打住 |
| [11:23] | You know I’ve heard a lot of crappy pitches in my time, | 推销的烂招我见多了 |
| [11:26] | but I’ve never seen anyone bring in an actual bucket of feces. | 这还是第一次见人真带来一桶粪肥 |
| [11:33] | Plant Guy, I’m disappointed… | 剪草哥 我很失望 |
| [11:37] | …that I have never heard | 自己竟从未见过 |
| [11:39] | a landscaping pitch this good before! | 像这么精彩的园艺推销 |
| [11:42] | Sold! | 我要了 |
| [11:47] | Come on, let’s hear it! | 掌声再大点 |
| [12:06] | I haven’t met many women who play. | 会吹这乐器的女性真心不多 |
| [12:09] | I also play the slide whistle and the maracas. | 我还会吹抽拉口哨和响葫芦 |
| [12:13] | So you manage a grocery store? | 你是开杂货店的 |
| [12:15] | That sounds exciting. | 好像很好玩 |
| [12:16] | Well, what do you do? | 你是做什么的 |
| [12:18] | I’m a soup taster. | 我是汤汁品尝师 |
| [12:19] | Oh, I have a cousin who tasted stews. | 我有个表亲 是品尝炖菜的 |
| [12:21] | You’re kidding? | 真的吗 |
| [12:22] | I would love to get into stews. | 好想试试炖菜呢 |
| [12:24] | I’ll send him your resume. | 我把你的简历发给他 |
| [12:27] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [12:38] | And here I am in high school. | 这是我高中的照片 |
| [12:40] | Oh. Which cheerleader were you? | 拉拉队里哪个是你 |
| [12:42] | Oh, no, I was the mascot. | 都不是 我是吉祥物 |
| [12:44] | The Burbank Billy Goat. | 伯班克公山羊 |
| [12:46] | I was the first student in 20 years | 我是学校二十年来 |
| [12:47] | who didn’t have to wear the costume head. | 第一个不带道具头的吉祥物 |
| [12:50] | Push ’em back, push ’em back, way… | 加油 加油 加嘞个油 |
| [12:52] | Ba-a-a-a-a-a-ack. | 加加加嘞个油 |
| [12:55] | I’ve always found billy goats to have a quiet dignity. | 我一直觉得公山羊特别端庄 |
| [13:00] | You’re a beautiful man, Barney. | 你是个美丽的男人 巴尼 |
| [13:05] | It’s been so long. | 我等你等得好苦 |
| [13:14] | Now, I know you look like a big, fat butt, | 就算是颗大胖臀 |
| [13:17] | but are you gonna check my reflexes or what? | 行医也不能慢吞吞 |
| [13:28] | Wait, that’s not in the script. | 等等 剧本不是这么写的 |
| [13:30] | Trevor likes to riff. | 特雷弗喜欢即兴发挥 |
| [13:31] | He’s got a real talent for rhyming. | 这孩子编打油诗很有两下子 |
| [13:32] | His first hip-hop album drops next week. | 下周发行他的第一张嘻哈专辑 |
| [13:34] | “Yo Grabba Ho.” | 《我的地盘》 |
| [13:36] | Cici, I heard you were sick. | 茜茜变成小病号 |
| [13:38] | Having a cold can be hard to kick. | 得了重感冒 踹都踹不掉 |
| [13:43] | Cici, are you out of whack? | 茜茜 感冒发烧流鼻涕 |
| [13:45] | Just take a shot from Dr. Buttcrack. | 屁股蛋一针百病移 |
| [13:51] | That’s not in the script. | 没按剧本走 |
| [13:52] | Trevor doesn’t like it when other people improvise. | 特雷弗不喜欢别人临场发挥 |
| [13:54] | Hope likes to riff, too. | 喜旺也爱即兴表演 |
| [13:56] | I don’t think you heard me. | 你没听明白吗 |
| [13:57] | I said, Cici, are you out of whack? | 我说 茜茜 感冒发烧流鼻涕 |
| [14:00] | Just take a shot from Dr. Buttcrack. | 屁股蛋一针百病移 |
| [14:07] | And… cut! | 停 |
| [14:09] | We’re moving on. | 下一幕 |
| [14:10] | Wait. I still had another joke. | 等等 我还有个段子没讲呢 |
| [14:12] | We’re not gonna beat that. | 我不信能比刚才的精彩 |
| [14:16] | Yo, yo, yo, Zappa Do. | 呦呦呦 赞不再 |
| [14:17] | Looks like Hope’s the star, | 喜旺众人爱 |
| [14:18] | and you’re number two. | 你得往后排 |
| [14:31] | You’re a great kisser. | 你真是接吻高手 |
| [14:32] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [14:37] | So are you. | 你也是 |
| [14:40] | Why don’t we take this upstairs? | 不如我们上楼继续吧 |
| [14:44] | Well, not the hottest sex I’ve ever had, | 虽然年轻的激情找不回来 |
| [14:48] | but in this case, | 不过这次算是 |
| [14:49] | revenge is a dish best served cold. | 君子报仇 十年不晚 |
| [14:54] | What is she doing here? | 她在这儿做什么 |
| [14:55] | While he was distracting you, | 他引开你的时候 |
| [14:57] | I was having revenge sex with your grandpa. | 我为了复仇 跟你爷爷滚床单去了 |
| [15:00] | We put his adjustable bed | 他的调节床一辈子都没想到 |
| [15:01] | into positions it never imagined. | 自己居然那么经掰 |
| [15:04] | You’re a monster. | 你是个魔鬼 |
| [15:06] | And you? | 你 |
| [15:08] | That’s what this was all about? | 接近我就是为了这个吗 |
| [15:09] | I have to be honest. | 实话跟你说吧 |
| [15:10] | I was supposed to be distracting you, | 我原本是来引开你的 |
| [15:12] | but somewhere along the way, I realized | 可中途发现 |
| [15:14] | for the first time in years… | 我居然破天荒地 |
| [15:16] | I could get lucky. | 交了桃花运 |
| [15:18] | Is that offer still on the table? | 刚才的邀请还算数吗 |
| [15:20] | You’re both monsters. | 你们俩都是魔鬼 |
| [15:22] | You wanted to see my grandmother? | 你们不是想见我的祖母吗 |
| [15:26] | I’ll show her to you, | 这就让你们 |
| [15:27] | up close. | 来个近距离接触 |
| [15:32] | N-No, no, no. Ladies! | 女士们 别这样 |
| [15:35] | Ladies, please! Ladies, please! | 女士们 冷静点 拜托了 |
| [15:37] | Help! | 救命 |
| [15:40] | I left my inhaler in the car! | 吸入器落车上了 |
| [15:54] | I thought we were gonna have to bring in some hired guns | 我本以为得多找些人手 |
| [15:57] | for a major replant, | 进行大规模整修 |
| [15:58] | but you nailed it. | 你真有本事 |
| [16:00] | I wouldn’t change a flower. | 做得完美无缺 |
| [16:02] | Thank you, Mr. President. | 谢谢总裁先生 |
| [16:03] | This is only the beginning. | 这只是个开始 |
| [16:04] | Today a courtyard; | 今天是庭院 |
| [16:06] | tomorrow, a hedge maze. | 明天就是树篱大迷宫 |
| [16:07] | Thursday, I rest because I’m human, | 第三天我得歇着 咱也是人嘛 |
| [16:09] | but Friday, I’m back fresh with big ideas. | 但第四天我又满血复活 点子不断了 |
| [16:12] | Whoa, whoa! Slow down, Plant Guy. | 慢慢来 剪草哥 |
| [16:14] | I love it, | 我喜欢这个院子 |
| [16:15] | but I gotta make sure the people I sell my shows to | 但我得确保节目的买家 |
| [16:18] | enjoy this courtyard, too. | 也同样喜欢 |
| [16:20] | We’ll see what the focus group thinks. | 我们得听听代表的意见 |
| [16:23] | These are the presidents of all the major networks. | 这几位是各大电视网络的总裁 |
| [16:26] | Burt, this is FOX, | 伯特 他们分别来自FOX |
| [16:29] | CBS NBC ABC CBS, NBC, ABC. | |
| [16:29] | CBS 美国哥伦比亚广播公司 NBC 美国全国广播公司 ABC 美国广播公司 | |
| [16:31] | And here’s BET. | 还有BET |
| [16:35] | I know. A white guy. Go figure. | 是啊 居然是白人 真奇怪 |
| [16:37] | So, we all think this is perfect, right? | 大家都觉得无可挑剔吧 |
| [16:41] | It’s really great. | 挺好的 |
| [16:42] | It taps into the whole Zeitgeist of the modern courtyard. | 作为现代庭院 符合时代精神 |
| [16:45] | I just wish it were a little more relatable | 如果能和18至34岁人群 |
| [16:47] | to the 18-34 demo. | 联系更紧就好了 |
| [16:49] | I was thinking the same thing. | 我也正有此意 |
| [16:51] | Maybe something gluten-free. | 来点不含谷蛋白的吧 |
| [16:52] | My niece likes gluten-free. | 我外甥喜欢 |
| [16:55] | Yo, the hedges is tight, but to really set it off, | 这树篱生得干净 但要真想出彩 |
| [16:57] | white boy should throw some daisies around that bitch. | 小伙子该给她戴几朵雏菊 |
| [16:59] | You heard ’em, Burt. | 你都听到了 伯特 |
| [17:01] | More gluten-free, | 减少谷蛋白 |
| [17:02] | and do whatever the hell Joe just said. | 乔刚说的也照做 |
| [17:04] | I don’t know how to tell you this, | 虽然难以启齿 |
| [17:05] | but nothing they just said makes any sense. | 但这些建议都莫名其妙 |
| [17:07] | Let me give you a piece of advice, kid. | 给你提个醒 小子 |
| [17:09] | You want to landscape in this town, | 想在这儿做庭院设计 |
| [17:11] | you better play the game. | 就要懂规矩 |
| [17:13] | Look, I just want to make something I’m proud of | 我只是想按自身意愿 |
| [17:14] | that I know people will like. | 造出自信之作 |
| [17:16] | With all this involvement and intrusion, | 我想不通 你们这样肆意干涉 |
| [17:18] | I don’t understand how you guys make | 要怎么拍出那么多 |
| [17:19] | so many fine movies and TV shows. | 精彩的影视作品 |
| [17:22] | I-I’m going back to Natesville. | 我还是回纳什维尔把 |
| [17:23] | I-I don’t care if living by the processing plant | 就算住在炼油厂旁边会折寿 |
| [17:25] | shaves 20 years off my life. | 我也不在乎 |
| [17:27] | At least there | 至少在那里 |
| [17:28] | I can make the kinds of gardens I believe in. | 我能随性发挥 造出真爱之作 |
| [17:31] | Which one of you is from NBC? | 你们谁是NBC的 |
| [17:36] | That’s for canceling My Name is Earl! | 谁让你砍掉《愚人善事》的 |
| [17:40] | That was eight network presidents ago! | 那是八任前的人干的好事 |
| [17:43] | I loved it! | 我也超喜欢的 |
| [17:50] | She’s the next Meryl Streep. | 她是下一个梅丽尔·斯特里普 |
| [17:52] | What does Meryl Streep have? | 梅丽尔有什么 |
| [17:53] | Does she have a handbag line? | 没有自个儿的手袋品牌 |
| [17:54] | A Twitter account? | 没有微博 |
| [17:56] | She’s never on TV. | 也没上过电视 |
| [17:57] | How can you consider yourself a celebrity | 名人该有的她都没有 |
| [17:59] | if you’ve never been on “celebrity” anything? | 怎么能说是名人呢 |
| [18:02] | Cici, that’s enough monkeying around. | 茜茜 胡闹到此需打住 |
| [18:04] | It’s time for me to make my wizard sound. | 看我华丽施法术 |
| [18:08] | Yo Zappa Do! | 赞普一个 |
| [18:11] | And… cut! | 停 |
| [18:13] | Hold places, get the girl out. | 保持镜头 女娃抱走 |
| [18:19] | What’s going on? | 什么情况 |
| [18:20] | Why are you taking Hope out? | 为什么不要喜旺了 |
| [18:22] | Oh, there’s been a rewrite. Hope’s been replaced. | 剧本改写 喜旺被换掉了 |
| [18:24] | I was gonna tell you guys before, | 之前本想告诉你们 |
| [18:25] | but I hate confrontation when I’m sober. | 但我讨厌清醒的时候跟人对峙 |
| [18:27] | Is this because Sabrina was making changes to the script? | 是因为塞布丽娜改台本吗 |
| [18:30] | You turned her into a billboard. | 你还把她当广告牌使呢 |
| [18:31] | Nobody looks up to a billboard. | 没人会敬仰广告牌 |
| [18:33] | Okay, I know people literally look up to billboards. | 它是用来仰视的没错 |
| [18:35] | You know what I meant. | 你懂我的意思 |
| [18:36] | It wasn’t either of you. | 不是你们俩的问题 |
| [18:37] | Oh, I get it. | 我知道了 |
| [18:38] | It’s Jimmy’s fault for sucking as an extra. | 是因为吉米表现太差 |
| [18:40] | I’ve done everything they’ve asked! | 我一直很听话的 |
| [18:44] | Uh, you guys weren’t the problem, okay? | 不是你们的问题好吗 |
| [18:46] | I deal with crazy actors | 奇葩演员和奇葩家属 |
| [18:48] | and their crazy families all the time. | 我见得多了 |
| [18:50] | The truth is | 真相是 |
| [18:51] | you can behave as horribly as you want in show business. | 在演艺界 你可以随心所欲 |
| [18:53] | The one thing you can’t do is steal a star’s thunder. | 但绝不能抢明星的风头 |
| [18:56] | I’ve been in this business for eight months– eight months– | 我当演员八个月了 八个月 |
| [18:59] | and I’ve given way too much of my life away | 我付出了这么多 |
| [19:01] | to lose my show to some one-trick pony who still wears pull-ups. | 怎么能败给个一穿尿布的奶娃娃 |
| [19:05] | But she’s such a hit with the fans. | 但粉丝们可喜欢她了 |
| [19:06] | I want her off the show, Stu. | 我要她走 斯图 |
| [19:09] | Honestly, it’s like you want me to post those pictures | 想让我公布你和那个亚洲异装癖的合照 |
| [19:12] | with you and that Asian transvestite. | 也不用出这种馊主意 |
| [19:14] | Hope’s already shot half the scenes. | 喜旺的戏份都拍到一半了 |
| [19:17] | You can’t take her out of the show now. | 这个时候换下她 |
| [19:18] | It makes no sense. | 没道理啊 |
| [19:20] | This is a show about a kid who wears enchanted tap shoes | 这个节目的主角穿着施了魔法的踢踏舞鞋 |
| [19:23] | whose gym teacher’s a mermaid. | 她的体育老师还是条美人鱼呢 |
| [19:24] | We are not concerned about logic. | 在这里没道理可讲 |
| [19:27] | And action! | 开拍 |
| [19:45] | Damn. | 见鬼 |
| [19:47] | It really is funnier with a monkey. | 换成猴子的确更好笑 |
| [19:55] | I was really hoping going to Hollywood | 我多希望喜旺进了好莱坞 |
| [19:57] | would make our life more exciting. | 我们的生活能更精彩啊 |
| [19:59] | I guess we’re just doomed to be boring people forever. | 估计咱是注定要无聊一辈子了 |
| [20:02] | Well, if you think about it, | 仔细想想 |
| [20:04] | our lives are actually pretty exciting. | 我们的生活其实挺有聊的 |
| [20:07] | Hope was a TV star for a day. | 咱喜旺当过一天的电视明星呢 |
| [20:09] | That’s true. | 确实 |
| [20:10] | And I refused to compromise my art for fame and money. | 而我拒绝了为名利牺牲艺术 |
| [20:13] | I’m like… like… | 就像…像… |
| [20:16] | Actually, I can’t think of anyone who’s ever done that. | 还真想不出有谁这样做过 |
| [20:18] | And although I’m not a real doctor, | 我不是货真价实的医生 |
| [20:20] | I did get to play one on TV. | 好歹也在电视上演了回 |
| [20:22] | I had revenge sex with an old guy | 我为了复仇跟一个老汉上床 |
| [20:25] | while Barney made out with a bearded woman. | 而巴尼跟胡子妹搞上了 |
| [20:27] | Barbara June! | 芭芭拉·琼 |
| [20:30] | I got to second base with a bearded woman. | 我跟胡子妹进行到二垒 |
| [20:32] | If you’re gonna tell a story, tell it right. | 要八卦就弄清事实 |
| [20:34] | It was a crazy trip. | 真是一次疯狂的旅行 |
| [20:36] | Maybe our lives really are exciting. | 说不定我们的生活真的很有聊 |
| [20:38] | You know, I think if someone filmed the stuff we do, | 如果把这些录下来 |
| [20:41] | it’d be fun to watch. | 应该挺好看的 |
| [20:42] | Yeah, I can see that. | 我同意 |
| [20:44] | I mean if you edited out all the boring parts, | 不过要剪掉无聊的部分 |
| [20:47] | you know, like this stuff, | 比如现在 |
| [20:48] | where we’re all just sitting around talking in the car. | 大家在车里闲聊的场景 |
| [20:54] | Look, somebody wrote “Wash me” on that back of that dirty car. | 那辆脏车的屁股上写着”洗我” |
| [21:01] | “Gas, food, lodging, 20 miles”. | 加油饮食住宿 向前20公里 |
| [21:10] | That’s a big cloud. | 好大一片云 |