| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:13] | Come on, buddy. | 别这样呀 兄弟 |
| [00:14] | It doesn’t have to end badly. | 何必搞得非生即死呢 |
| [00:16] | Just trying to get you out safe. | 我不过希望你出入平安而已 |
| [00:23] | Are you still trying to catch that fly? | 你还在抓那只苍蝇啊 |
| [00:26] | Just kill it. | 拍死得了 |
| [00:27] | Flies carry deadly diseases. | 苍蝇是会传播致命疾病的 |
| [00:29] | Why do you think there’s a “No-fly zone” over the White House? | 不然白宫干啥要设“禁飞区” |
| [00:32] | I can’t kill it. | 我下不去手 |
| [00:33] | It’s the one thing I’ve got. | 这是我唯一的追求了 |
| [00:35] | Nobody else in high school lived up to their potential. | 高中同学里没一个发挥了他们潜能的 |
| [00:37] | Kevin Kinlan, voted “Most likely to succeed”? | 他们那时都觉得凯文·金兰会大有作为 |
| [00:40] | In prison for embezzlement. | 结果那家伙挪用公款蹲大牢了 |
| [00:41] | John Zachary, voted “Most athletic”? | 约翰·扎卡里被选为最佳运动员 |
| [00:43] | Now he weighs 400 pounds. | 现在都肥到400磅了 |
| [00:44] | He hasn’t seen his feet or his penis since the ’90s. | 20年前他就看不见自己的脚趾头和小弟弟了 |
| [00:47] | I was the guy voted “Least likely to hurt a fly.” | 我被选为最不可能伤害苍蝇的人 |
| [00:50] | I’m not going to blow it | 我不能辜负组织的期望 |
| [00:52] | and wind up like the rest of those losers. | 像那些混小子一样自甘堕落 |
| [00:54] | Oh, and those awards mean so much. | 这些评选可真是意义非凡 |
| [00:57] | I was voted “Most sarcastic.” | 我被选为最牙尖嘴利的 |
| [00:59] | Those geniuses really nailed that one. | 那些小崽子看人可真准 |
| [01:03] | I got him! | 抓到了 |
| [01:04] | Virginia, I got him! | 维吉妮亚 我抓到了 |
| [01:07] | Go home. | 回家吧 |
| [01:08] | Hug your wife and kiss your maggots. | 去拥抱你的老婆 亲吻你的蛆虫宝宝 |
| [01:10] | Today you live! | 要活出精彩 |
| [01:13] | No! | 不 |
| [01:16] | That is gonna be a slow, slow death. | 这下它就要慢慢地痛苦地死去了 |
| [01:34] | Wait, wait, wait! Don’t! | 等等 别啊 |
| [01:36] | Hey, don’t… Oh… | 别 疼 |
| [01:43] | Who is she?! | 她是谁 |
| [01:44] | Who is who?! | 谁是谁 |
| [01:45] | And where did you get that golf club? | 你从哪搞来的球棒 |
| [01:47] | We don’t even golf! | 我们又不打高尔夫 |
| [01:48] | I got it in case you ever Tiger Woods’d me. | 这是以防万一你劈腿的 |
| [01:50] | No, I was sleepwalking, all right? | 人家是梦游去了嘛 |
| [01:52] | I used to sleepwalk as a kid | 小时候一睡到陌生地方 |
| [01:53] | when-when I slept in strange places, | 人家就梦游 |
| [01:55] | and now it’s-it’s happening again. | 现在老毛病又犯了 |
| [02:22] | Oh, Jimmy, that’s terrible. | 吉米 这可真糟心 |
| [02:23] | We got to figure out how to fix this. | 我们得想法解决 |
| [02:25] | What did your parents do? | 你爹妈怎么处理的 |
| [02:26] | Well, they got me a dog collar | 他们给我带了个狗项圈 |
| [02:27] | and they put all my information on the tag. | 在狗牌上写上我的信息 |
| [02:29] | Of course they did. The store must have been out of leeches. | 我就猜到 八成商店吸血虫脱销了 |
| [02:31] | No, no, we got all our leeches from a guy my dad knows, | 这倒真不是不 我爸一熟人那儿有的是 |
| [02:33] | and I’m pretty sure they only work on chicken pox. | 但我觉得那玩意儿只对水痘有效 |
| [02:46] | The door to the microwave broke. | 微波炉门坏了 |
| [02:48] | Here. | 给我 |
| [02:49] | Oh. I think we need to buy a new microwave. | 我觉得我们得买个新的了 |
| [02:52] | No, no. It’s okay. I think I have a microwave in all my stuff. | 我看还能凑合 我的藏品里应该有微波炉 |
| [02:55] | It doesn’t work, but the door’s still on. | 那个是坏了 但门还能用 |
| [02:56] | We can just swap it out. | 拆下来就行了 |
| [02:57] | All your stuff? You got rid of all your stuff | 你的藏品 你改掉收垃圾的恶习后 |
| [02:59] | when you stopped hoarding. | 不是都扔了吗 |
| [03:01] | You told me you stopped hoarding. | 你答应不再捡破烂了 |
| [03:03] | I did. | 我是 |
| [03:06] | Tell you that. | 这么说过 |
| [03:07] | I can’t believe you lied and told me you stopped hoarding. | 真不敢相信你会在这事上骗我 |
| [03:11] | I haven’t gambled once since I quit. | 我可是真戒赌了 |
| [03:13] | I bet you $1,000 there’s a bunch of other stuff you’re not telling me. | 我赌一千块 你肯定还有很多事瞒着我的 |
| [03:16] | Why is this open? | 门怎么开了 |
| [03:17] | Seriously. I bet you. Right now. | 说真的 我现在就和你赌 |
| [03:19] | Step away from the locker! | 不许靠近储物室 |
| [03:20] | No, no, it’s okay. This is our stuff. | 没事 这是我们的东西 |
| [03:22] | Not anymore. You didn’t pay your rent. | 不再是了 你没付租金 |
| [03:24] | We’re just airing out the contents | 我们现在是让这些东西敞敞气 |
| [03:26] | before we put it up for auction. | 好拍卖出去 |
| [03:28] | Hold on there. | 等等 |
| [03:29] | A working grandmother goes without paying for 24 months | 你怎么能夺走一当了奶奶却还在工作之人的心血 |
| [03:32] | and you just take all her stuff? | 我不过两年没交租而已 |
| [03:34] | Romney! | 都怪罗姆尼[总统候选人] |
| [03:35] | He lost, Burt. | 他没选上 伯特 |
| [03:36] | Obama! | 那就都怪奥巴马 |
| [03:38] | I don’t know what to tell you. If you want your stuff back, | 我没时间和你们瞎扯 你们想要回东西 |
| [03:40] | you owe $700. Other than that, it goes to the highest bidder. | 就把700美金付清 不然价高者得 |
| [03:43] | Hey! Hey! Just because you have every right to take our stuff | 喂 虽然你有权利拿走我们的东西 |
| [03:46] | and I don’t have any argument against it | 而且我无理辩驳 |
| [03:48] | doesn’t mean I’m done talking to you, buddy! | 但我还是会一直和你说的 |
| [03:52] | Excuse me. If we could just talk about this… | 不好意思 我们能不能谈谈 |
| [03:55] | Oh, my God, look. | 天 看啊 |
| [03:56] | It’s Creepy the Clown. | 是恐怖小丑 |
| [03:59] | Years ago, we had a creepy clown doll that used to freak Jimmy out. | 多年前 我们的恐怖小丑玩具把吉米吓得不轻 |
| [04:04] | Jimmy. | 吉米 |
| [04:10] | It was hilarious. | 真叫一个欢乐无限 |
| [04:30] | We didn’t just torture Jimmy with it. | 我们不光拿它折腾吉米 |
| [04:32] | We also used it to keep him out of danger. | 也用它隔离危险 |
| [04:40] | And while some things could shock him for a second, | 不怕恐惧惊一时 |
| [04:43] | other things could scar him for life. | 就怕梦魇缠一世 |
| [04:50] | We don’t have the money for that much therapy. | 咱可没钱看心理医生 |
| [04:55] | So we needed to hide the tape in a place | 所以得把录像带藏到 |
| [04:57] | we knew Jimmy would never look. | 一个吉米永不会碰触的地方 |
| [05:05] | It was a perfect hiding place | 那可真是个完美的藏物处 |
| [05:07] | until Maw Maw decided to donate stuff | 可天知道奶奶决定把东西捐出去 |
| [05:09] | to the church rummage sale. | 给教堂做慈善义卖 |
| [05:11] | And that was the last time | 那是我们最后一次见到 |
| [05:13] | we ever saw that creepy-looking clown. | 那只惊悚的小丑 |
| [05:21] | Is this unit up for auction? | 这间的东西拍卖吗 |
| [05:23] | They’re all up for bid Saturday morning. | 周六早上就拍 |
| [05:26] | We’ve got to get our sex tape out of that clown’s ass. | 我们得把录像带从小丑屁股里抠出来 |
| [05:29] | I bet nobody’s ever said that before. | 我赌没人这么说过 |
| [05:35] | – You ready? – Yeah. | -准备好了吗 -好了 |
| [05:40] | What do you think? | 你觉得怎么样 |
| [05:41] | I think America’s about to elect a terrorist as a vice president | 我觉得如果没人听克莱尔·戴恩斯的话 |
| [05:44] | if somebody doesn’t start listening to Claire Danes. | 那恐怖分子就要当上美国副总统了 |
| [05:47] | You mean your sleep apnea mask. | 你是说你的睡眠窒息面具啊 |
| [05:50] | If it prevents you from sleepwalking, | 如果这能帮你改掉梦游 |
| [05:51] | I think it’s great. | 那我就觉得挺好 |
| [05:52] | I think I look like a fighter pilot. | 我觉得我像个战斗机飞行员 |
| [05:54] | You get to pretend you’re sleeping with Tom Cruise tonight. | 你今晚可以意淫与汤姆·克鲁斯共枕眠 |
| [05:57] | Ooh. Okay. | 矮油 不错哟 |
| [05:58] | Maybe get into a little “Risky business.” | 《乖仔也疯狂》 入戏一点嘛 |
| [06:00] | Is there any way I can prevent you from ruining my Homeland marathon | 别模仿阿汤哥行不 |
| [06:02] | by making bad Tom Cruise references all night? | 人家都没法看《国土安全》了 |
| [06:04] | That’s a “Mission impossible.” | 那是《碟中谍》[又名《不可能的任务》] |
| [06:07] | Get ready for “The Firm.” | 准备好迎接《糖衣陷阱》了吗 |
| [06:09] | 《乖仔也疯狂》《碟中谍》《糖衣陷阱》《雨人》 皆为汤姆·克鲁斯主演电影 | |
| [06:09] | ‘Cause I’m about to make it “Rain… …man.” | 因为哥要变身《雨人》了 |
| [06:21] | Aw, not again! | 不是吧 |
| [06:35] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [06:36] | The guy at the storage space said those auctions go up to 500 bucks. | 储藏室那哥们儿说那些破烂能拍到500美刀 |
| [06:40] | So if we want to get our sex tape back, | 所以如果我们想拿回性爱录像 |
| [06:42] | we need to make some quick cash, | 就得赶紧搞到现金 |
| [06:43] | and I’m willing to try anything. | 我愿意不惜一切代价 |
| [06:45] | Which is something whoever gets that tape is gonna find out. | 谁看谁知道 |
| [06:48] | But you can’t sell the van. | 那你也不能卖面包车啊 |
| [06:49] | Why not? Jimmy and Sabrina have a new car. | 为什么 吉米和塞布丽娜有新车 |
| [06:52] | I have a car, you have your work truck. | 我自己有车 你也有工作专卡 |
| [06:55] | Maw Maw won this scooter in a poker game with Mrs. Peables. | 奶奶跟皮博夫人打牌也赢了个小踏板 |
| [06:58] | Even after the stroke, she still doesn’t have much of a poker face. | 虽然中风了 她还是表情丰富神采奕奕 |
| [07:02] | I know we don’t need the van, but… | 我知道这面包车不是必需品 但 |
| [07:05] | it’s like a part of the family. | 它是我们家的一部分 |
| [07:07] | It has so many special memories. | 它有那么多特别的回忆 |
| [07:21] | If there was a Tongue Hall of Fame, Burt, you’d be in it. | 如果有舌吻名人堂 伯特你一定位列其中 |
| [07:23] | And-and if there was a Tongue Nobel Prize, | 如果有舌吻诺贝尔奖 |
| [07:25] | you’d have a whole shelf full. | 你一定秒杀世人 |
| [07:29] | Ah, that’s it! | 对了 |
| [07:31] | I can’t listen to this tape anymore. | 不能再听这磁带了 |
| [07:34] | It’s been stuck in there since I bought the van. | 我买这车的时候它就卡在里面了 |
| [07:47] | Not again. | 不是吧 |
| [07:55] | I can’t do it. | 我做不到 |
| [07:56] | We’re not selling the van. | 我们不能卖面包车 |
| [07:58] | You’re gonna have to find something else to sell. | 你得发掘点其他东西来卖 |
| [08:01] | Hmm, clarity in the hooves. | 猪蹄通透 |
| [08:03] | Perfectly symmetrical snout holes. | 鼻孔完美对称 |
| [08:06] | Only the tiny hands of a scared Chinese child | 只有中国小孩那灵巧的小手 |
| [08:09] | can achieve that craftsmanship. | 才能完成此等工艺 |
| [08:12] | But I don’t see the one you know I want. | 但没看到我想要的那个 你知道我想要什么 |
| [08:14] | I brought you everything I have. | 我都拿来了 |
| [08:16] | This is all I’ve got. | 就这么多 |
| [08:17] | I’ve been to your house, Virginia. | 我去过你家 维吉妮亚 |
| [08:19] | I want your Swiney Todd, the Demon Butcher of Meat Street, | 我要你的肉街魔屠丝维尼·陶德 |
| [08:22] | wanted for multiple ham-icides. | 因为肉感层次丰富 被多家肉店垂涎 |
| [08:24] | The worst-selling character in Pigurine history, and thus… | 猪猪侠史上卖得最差的那款 因此 |
| [08:28] | the rarest. | 也是最珍贵的 |
| [08:31] | Fine. | 算你狠 |
| [08:34] | I’ll sell it to you. | 卖给你吧 |
| [08:36] | But just so you know, | 但你要搞清楚 |
| [08:37] | I consider this highway hoggery. | 你这是趁火打”猪” |
| [08:43] | H-Hoggery. I got it. I got it. | 养猪场 懂了 我懂了 |
| [08:48] | I just came up with that. | 我也是灵光一现 脱口而出 |
| [08:53] | Where you been? | 你去哪了 |
| [08:55] | Operation steal our microwave door successful. | 成功盗取微波门 |
| [08:57] | All right, we’re gonna start the bidding at five dollars. | 好了 我们从五美元开始竞价 |
| [08:58] | Somebody give me five, somebody give me five. | 有人出价吗 有吗 |
| [09:00] | I got five right there. Anybody with six? | 有人出价五块 六块有没有 |
| [09:01] | – Six! – Six dollars. Can I get seven? | -六块 -六块 有出七块的吗 |
| [09:03] | – Seven! – Seven, I got seven. I got seven. | -七块 -七块 有人出价七块 |
| [09:05] | – $20! – $20! Right over there, $20… | -20块 -20块 那边有人出价20块 |
| [09:06] | Frank, what the hell? | 弗兰克 你搞毛线啊 |
| [09:08] | Look, I don’t know why you want this locker, | 我不知道你要这干嘛 |
| [09:10] | but I’ll make you a deal. 21! | 但咱做个交易 21块 |
| [09:12] | You let us win this locker, | 你让我们竞拍成功 |
| [09:13] | we’ll give you everything inside except for that | 里面所有东西都归你 |
| [09:15] | cute little clown doll for Hope. | 除了喜旺的那个小丑玩具 |
| [09:18] | You can keep the doll, | 玩具归你 |
| [09:19] | but I get to keep the sex tape inside. | 但里面的性爱录像归我 |
| [09:23] | Oh, I know. | 哥什么都知道 |
| [09:29] | What’s going on there? | 什么情况 |
| [09:30] | Yeah, my mom’s selling some of her Pigurines | 我妈为了赎回自己的藏品 变卖了她的猪猪侠 |
| [09:31] | to bid on a storage unit that has her sex tape in it. | 因为里面有她和老爸的性爱录像 |
| [09:36] | – $100! – I got $100 right there! | 100块 -有人出价100块啦 |
| [09:39] | 125 $125! | |
| [09:41] | -200 -300 – $200! – $300! | |
| [09:42] | – $400! – $400 right there! | -我出400 -有人出价400 |
| [09:44] | – What? – I know how much Jimmy makes at the grocery store. | -什么 -我知道吉米在杂货店的收入水平 |
| [09:46] | Where’d you get that kind of money? | 你咋能搞来这么多钱 |
| [09:47] | I won 800 bucks coming in second place at a Demolition Derby. | 我在撞车大赛里得到第二名 赢了800块 |
| [09:50] | My Pacer is totaled. | 我的赛车死无全尸 |
| [09:52] | Look. If you care about me as a friend at all… | 如果你还念及丝毫朋友之情 |
| [09:56] | $450! You won’t do this. | 450 你不能这么做 |
| [09:57] | Okay, fine. I’ll make you a deal. | 好吧 就做个交易 |
| [09:59] | $475! You can keep the tape, | 475 录像归你 |
| [10:01] | but I would like to rent it on occasion. | 但时不时我要租来看看 |
| [10:03] | $480! Okay, but just once. | 480 行 只租一次 |
| [10:05] | $485! Go on. | 485 继续 |
| [10:07] | You have to watch it at our house, | 你得在我们家看 |
| [10:08] | and you have to keep your pants on. $490! | 并且不许脱裤子 490 |
| [10:11] | No rewinds, no copies, no pauses. | 不许倒带 不许备份 不许暂停 |
| [10:13] | $495! One pause, eight seconds long. | 四百九十五 暂停一次 时长八秒 |
| [10:17] | – Fine! – Deal! | -好 -成交 |
| [10:18] | – $500! – $500! $500 going once… | -五百 -有人出五百 五百一次 |
| [10:21] | $500 going twice… | 五百两次 |
| [10:23] | – Sold, $500! Come on in. – Yes! | -五百美元成交 来吧 -哦耶 |
| [10:30] | What? There’s no hole! | 什么 没洞 |
| [10:32] | Oh, my God! | 我滴妈呀 |
| [10:34] | I just sold my Pigurines and blew $500 | 我把猪猪侠卖了 把五百美元砸在 |
| [10:37] | on the wrong stuffed clown that doesn’t have our sex tape in it. | 一个里面根本没有咱性爱录像的小丑上 |
| [10:41] | Don’t beat yourself up about it. | 别难过了 |
| [10:42] | I’m sure this happens to people all the time. | 这种事常有 |
| [10:52] | I don’t know if exercising is gonna be the answer to my sleepwalking, | 锻炼真能医治梦游症吗 |
| [10:55] | and plus, I kind of feel ridiculous. | 而且人家觉得有点尴尬 |
| [10:59] | Yeah, well, last night you walked through town | 你昨晚穿着你的四角短裤和我的毛绒拖鞋 |
| [11:01] | in your boxer shorts and my fuzzy slippers, so… | 穿越小镇 所以 |
| [11:03] | I think this is worth a shot. | 我觉得还是试试吧 |
| [11:06] | Hey. | 快瞧啊 |
| [11:07] | Either your parents are having a yard sale | 是你爸妈主动在院子里卖破烂呢 |
| [11:09] | or your house finally threw up. | 还是你家房子终于忍不住自己吐了 |
| [11:11] | Yeah, talk about a lot of stuff I don’t need. | 是啊 这儿有不少我用不着的东西呢 |
| [11:13] | I already got the wolf blanket, | 狼毯子我已经有一条了 |
| [11:14] | I got that same bikini poster girl… | 比基尼女郎的海报我也有一张一模一样的 |
| [11:15] | Wait a second. | 等等 |
| [11:16] | What are you guys doing? | 你们在干什么啊 |
| [11:17] | Oh, your mother’s having a yard sale | 你老妈在办庭院贱卖会呢 |
| [11:18] | so she can buy back her Pigurines. | 她想把她的猪猪侠们赎回来 |
| [11:20] | I’m selling all the stuff we got | 我们竞拍到一个储藏库 |
| [11:21] | from that storage unit we won | 我要把里面的东西都拿出来卖了 |
| [11:22] | along with some of your crap. | 你的那堆破烂也算上 |
| [11:24] | You just can’t sell my stuff! | 你们怎么能随便把我的东东给贱卖掉 |
| [11:26] | This is 100% authentic bathtub gin | 这是正宗好凉茶 |
| [11:30] | passed down to me by my great aunt, Blind Lizzy, | 祖传秘方酿制而成 由我的曾姨妈瞎丽兹 |
| [11:33] | to her daughter, Blind Betty, | 传给了她的女儿瞎贝蒂 |
| [11:35] | and then finally her sons, | 然后又传到了贝蒂的儿子们手上 |
| [11:36] | Blind Barry and Sightless Sam, | 也就是瞎巴瑞和盲萨姆 |
| [11:38] | who spoke the recipe to me. | 他们两人最后将秘方口授于我 |
| [11:40] | Ten bucks a jar, | 现售十元一罐 |
| [11:41] | ’cause this is probably the last batch I can make | 这可能是我的金盆洗手之作了 |
| [11:44] | ’cause my eyes aren’t what they used to be. | 因为我的眼神已大不如前了 |
| [11:47] | Thank you. | 多谢捧场 |
| [11:48] | How much for this photo album? | 这本影集怎么卖 |
| [11:49] | Two dollars. | 两块钱 |
| [11:50] | I don’t want the pictures. | 里面的照片我不要 |
| [11:51] | Looking at other people’s memories makes me sad. | 每当看到别人的回忆 我总会悲从中来 |
| [11:53] | Sorry, we got this stuff from somebody else’s storage space. | 不好意思 这是别人家仓库里的东西 |
| [11:57] | That’s actually a pretty cute baby right there. | 看这孩子多可爱啊 |
| [11:59] | Wow, what a happy family. | 真是有爱的一家子 |
| [12:01] | He looks so peaceful sleeping in his bassinet. | 这宝宝睡在摇篮里的样子真是太可爱了 |
| [12:03] | Hey… it’s that one right there. | 那不就是照片上的摇篮吗 |
| [12:08] | And there he is learning to ride that bike! | 那边还有他学车时骑的童车 |
| [12:13] | Are you gonna sell me the book or narrate every photo? | 你这是卖相册还是看图说话呢 |
| [12:16] | This album’s not for sale. | 这相册不卖了 |
| [12:18] | There’s a family out there | 这些照片承载着美好的回忆 |
| [12:19] | who would love to have these wonderful memories. | 世上会有人家愿意珍惜爱护它们的 |
| [12:21] | You can go buy some of my son’s crap over there. | 你可以去那边挑点我儿子的破烂 |
| [12:23] | What are you doing? | 你搞什么啊 |
| [12:25] | Virginia, we can’t sell this stuff, | 维吉妮亚 这些东西我们不能卖 |
| [12:26] | It’s not ours. | 这不属于我们 |
| [12:27] | The people in these pictures are gonna want it back. | 照片里的这家人有一天会想拿回这些东西的 |
| [12:29] | This is the history of | 这里记载了他们的历史 |
| [12:31] | their courtship and their marriage… | 从求婚到步入婚姻殿堂 |
| [12:33] | and their underwater birth. | 还有水下分娩 |
| [12:35] | Oh, scratch that. | 错了 不是 |
| [12:36] | They’re just went snorkeling with a baby sea otter. | 他们是在和一只小海獭游泳呢 |
| [12:38] | Well, I need money to get my Pigurines back. | 可我现在急需钱 好把我的猪猪侠们买回来 |
| [12:40] | Fine. I’ll sell the van. | 好吧 我去把面包车卖了 |
| [12:48] | Well, the shocks still work. | 行 这车还能抗震 |
| [12:53] | Now all I need is some good-looking friends and a talking dog | 只差些长相过得去的朋友和一只会说话的狗 |
| [12:56] | and my mystery-solving business is up and running. | 然后我的抓鬼小分队就正式成立了 |
| [13:01] | I’m gonna miss her. | 我会想她的 |
| [13:04] | If you want, I can pick you up | 如果你愿意 我可以时不时地 |
| [13:05] | every now and then and take you for a ride. | 载你一程 带你出去溜溜什么的 |
| [13:07] | No. I think that’ll just confuse the van. | 不必了 这样面包车会搞不清状况的 |
| [13:58] | Jimmy? | 吉米 |
| [14:04] | I can’t believe you sold the van for strangers, | 你居然为了一家陌生人把面包车卖了 |
| [14:06] | but when I wanted to get the tape back to keep my dignity, | 我当时卖车可是为了拿回录像带 找回尊严 |
| [14:09] | you wouldn’t even listen. | 可你却考虑都不肯考虑 |
| [14:10] | I only sold it to help you buy back | 我卖车可是为了你 |
| [14:12] | your precious Pigurines. | 好让你把心爱的猪猪侠买回来 |
| [14:13] | I told you that, but you don’t listen to me. | 我嘴皮子都快说烂了 你怎么就听不进去呢 |
| [14:15] | I don’t listen to you? | 我听不进去 |
| [14:16] | You don’t listen to me. | 别恶人先告状了 |
| [14:18] | I’m not listening to this. | 不听不听我不听 |
| [14:24] | We found a bunch of mail with this address on it | 我们找到一打邮件 地址是你们这儿的 |
| [14:26] | in an old storage unit | 邮件是在一个储藏库找到的 |
| [14:27] | and we’re trying to find out | 我们来打听一下 |
| [14:28] | who it belongs to | 看看能不能找到东西的主人 |
| [14:29] | so we can return all their stuff. | 好把东西都还了 |
| [14:30] | Burt! Virginia! I know who you are. | 伯特 维吉妮亚 我认识你们 |
| [14:33] | Christine, get over here! | 克丽丝汀 快出来 |
| [14:35] | Hi. | 你们好 |
| [14:38] | It’s Burt and Virginia. | 是伯特和维吉妮亚 |
| [14:40] | How do you know us? | 你们怎么会认识我们 |
| [14:42] | From your sex tape. | 通过你们的性爱录像啊 |
| [14:44] | Oh, God. Oh, my God. | 苍天啊 大地啊 |
| [14:46] | Oh, my God! | 额的神啊 |
| [14:47] | That’s exactly how she says it on the tape! | 这和录像带里的语气是一样一样的 |
| [14:49] | I know! | 没错 |
| [15:01] | I know. | 我懂 |
| [15:05] | Burt, I almost didn’t recognize you | 伯特 我一开始都没认出你来 |
| [15:06] | with your contemporary hairstyle. | 你现在的发型和以前不一样了 |
| [15:09] | Virginia, have you kept up with contemporary grooming trends? | 维吉妮亚 你现在还赶时髦吗 |
| [15:12] | I’m a little uncomfortable | 看到你俩这么淡定 |
| [15:14] | with how comfortable you two are with us. | 我还真有点尴尬 |
| [15:16] | Oh, no, it’s just that we’ve seen your tape like, a thousand times. | 你们的录像我们已经看过不下千次了 |
| [15:20] | Yeah, you said that… like, 2,000 times. | 是啊 这话你们也说了不下两千次了 |
| [15:23] | I remember the day we got it. | 拿到录像带的那天 我至今记忆犹新 |
| [15:26] | We were getting ready to move into my brother-in-law’s guest house | 我们当时准备搬去小叔子家 |
| [15:29] | and we bought a bunch of things at the church rummage sale, | 所以在教会的慈善义卖中买了不少东西 |
| [15:31] | but we got more than we paid for. | 不过真是物超所值啊 |
| [15:37] | I wasn’t really a sex tape kind of guy, | 我其实不怎么喜欢看性爱录像 |
| [15:39] | but we’d been fighting and I thought, | 但当时我们的性生活不太和谐 于是我就想 |
| [15:41] | hey, this might shake us out of our rut. | 也许这玩意儿能给我们带来点灵感呢 |
| [15:49] | I’ve never seen anything like this. | 这玩法还真是闻所未闻啊 |
| [15:50] | Why don’t we ever role play as a maid and a yard guy | 不如我们也易装成女佣和庭院工 |
| [15:53] | doing it in an old haunted house? | 到一间闹鬼的房子里去办事儿 |
| [15:58] | Your tape was heaven-sent. | 你们的录像带真是只应天上有 |
| [15:59] | We watched it almost every night. | 我们几乎每晚都要观赏一遍 |
| [16:01] | Yeah, we even started showing it to our sons, Dominic and Logan. | 我们还放给我们的儿子多米尼克和罗根看 |
| [16:03] | What?! | 啥 |
| [16:04] | I hope, for your kids’ sake, they’re blind and deaf. | 考虑孩子们的身心健康 他们最好又聋又瞎 |
| [16:06] | Oh, no, no, no. It’s not, it’s not like that. | 不是你们想的那样 |
| [16:08] | No, Jimmy, um, edited out all the sex parts. | 吉米已经把少儿不宜的部分剪辑掉了 |
| [16:10] | You guys had such an amazing relationship | 你们的夫妻关系真好 |
| [16:12] | that we took a triple-X | 所以我们把这盘限制级的录像 |
| [16:13] | and made it into a “G” | 剪成了可以公映的大众版 |
| [16:14] | so we could use it as a teaching tool for relationships. | 并用它来教育孩子 如何与人相处 |
| [16:17] | Check it out. | 你们自己看吧 |
| [16:19] | Compassion. | 同情心 |
| [16:22] | Oh, no, no, Burt. | 不在那儿 伯特 |
| [16:23] | It flew over back by the door. | 它又飞到门那儿去了 |
| [16:26] | Come here, buddy. I’m not gonna hurt you. | 来啊 小家伙 我不会伤害你的 |
| [16:28] | It’s all about catch and release. | 我会把你放生的 |
| [16:29] | Come… | 来啊 |
| [16:32] | Come here. | 过来 |
| [16:35] | I got him! I got him! | 抓到了 抓到了 |
| [16:41] | I love how nice you are to all of God’s creatures. | 我爱你对世间万物充满善心 |
| [16:44] | I could never hurt a fly. | 我决不伤害苍蝇 |
| [16:46] | Understanding. | 理解 |
| [16:52] | You got, like, 12 alarm clocks under the bed. | 你在床下塞了一打闹钟 |
| [16:55] | I don’t know. | 不知道为什么 |
| [16:56] | I just keep buying them just in case. | 我缺乏安全感 所以总是不停地买 |
| [17:00] | You don’t think I’m, like, one of those crazy hoarders, do you? | 你不会觉得我是个爱收破烂的疯子吧 |
| [17:04] | No. | 不会 |
| [17:05] | No, you’re just being prepared. | 你只是未雨绸缪 |
| [17:08] | I imagine one day, one of us is going to have a job | 搞不好有一天 我俩会找一份 |
| [17:10] | that’ll require us to be somewhere on time. | 对时间要求很高的工作呢 |
| [17:14] | Listening. | 倾听 |
| [17:16] | I think it’s your turn to start | 这次轮到你了 |
| [17:17] | ’cause I ripped off your clothes last time. | 因为上回是我扒了你的衣服 |
| [17:19] | Oh, speaking of rip-offs, | 说到扒 |
| [17:20] | the Johnsons told me they want to change landscapers today | 今天我把约翰逊家的树修剪完毕 |
| [17:22] | after I trimmed all their trees. | 他们却说要换庭院修整师 |
| [17:25] | I spent hours trying to nail the branches back on, | 我花了很长时间 想把树枝钉回去 |
| [17:27] | then I just gave up and I peed in the pool. | 不过后来我放弃了 往池里撒了泡尿了事 |
| [17:31] | Oh, it’s for the best. | 这样也好 |
| [17:32] | Those people treated you like crap, | 那家人待你太差 |
| [17:35] | they never paid you on time, | 每次都拖欠工资 |
| [17:37] | and I could always hear the stress in your voice | 而且你经过他们家时 |
| [17:39] | every time you went over there. | 说话都会紧张 |
| [17:41] | This landscaping thing is only temporary. | 做庭院修整只是暂时的 |
| [17:43] | Your rock band is about to take off. | 你的摇滚乐团就要出道了 |
| [17:45] | 伯特和维吉妮亚录像 大众版 | |
| [17:49] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [17:51] | Burt, do you believe that? | 伯特 你能相信吗 |
| [17:52] | I know. | 不敢相信 |
| [17:53] | I thought we were the only ones who still had a VCR. | 我还以为只有咱家还有录像机呢 |
| [17:55] | Me, too! | 我也是 |
| [17:56] | God, I’m so glad to hear that’s what you were thinking. | 你也这么想 我真高兴 |
| [17:59] | I feel like we’ve been so out of sync for the last couple of weeks. | 咱俩最近几周太没默契了 |
| [18:02] | It’s like we lost something, but I’m not sure what. | 感觉好像缺了点什么 但又不知道是啥 |
| [18:05] | Well, if I had to pick three things out of thin air, | 如果让我凭空想出三样东西 |
| [18:07] | I’d say compassion, understanding | 那就是同情 理解 |
| [18:10] | and maybe listening. | 或许还有倾听 |
| [18:12] | No, Burt, you know what it is? | 不对 伯特 你知道是什么吗 |
| [18:14] | It’s listening, | 是倾听 |
| [18:16] | and I’m sorry if I haven’t been. | 我没能做到 对不起 |
| [18:19] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [18:24] | No, no, no. | 不不不 |
| [18:26] | We are not filming a sequel here, weirdoes. | 我们又不是拍续集 变态 |
| [18:29] | And we want our sex tape back. | 把性爱录像带还给我们吧 |
| [18:30] | No. You can’t. We need it. | 不行 我们需要它 |
| [18:32] | I thought we were friends. | 我们不是朋友吗 |
| [18:33] | We barely know you. | 我们又不认识 |
| [18:36] | How ’bout we buy it from you? | 我们出钱买怎么样 |
| [18:37] | – No way. – Eight hundred. | -没门 -八百 |
| [18:38] | Deal. I’ll get my checkbook. | 成交 我去拿支票簿 |
| [18:40] | Virginia, what are you doing? | 维吉妮亚 你吃错药了吗 |
| [18:41] | I want to get your van back | 我想赎回你的面包车 |
| [18:43] | and sacrifice for you the way you sacrificed for me | 就像你为我赎回猪猪侠一样 |
| [18:46] | to get my Pigurines back. | 这是我的心意 |
| [18:53] | Could you stop staring at me? | 你别盯着我行吗 |
| [18:55] | I know your mind’s blown meeting “Virginia from the sex tape,” | 我知道你见到性爱录像的女主角很兴奋 |
| [18:58] | but you’re making me feel self-conscious. | 但这样让我很不自在 |
| [19:00] | Actually, um, I was just, i was wondering about that– | 其实我只是很好奇 |
| [19:03] | that mole that you have on your left butt cheek. | 你左边屁股上的痣 |
| [19:05] | Did you ever get that checked out? | 去检查过吗 |
| [19:09] | – We have to go. – Okay. | -我们该走了 -好 |
| [19:14] | That’s it! That’s it! | 没错 就是这样 |
| [19:15] | I got it! | 我明白了 |
| [19:18] | Whoa. Hey, what’s going on? | 淡定 怎么了 |
| [19:21] | I had to figure this out. | 我必须搞清楚 |
| [19:22] | I just couldn’t take it anymore. | 太折磨人了 |
| [19:24] | I knew there had to be an answer to this mystery | 我坚信这个谜一定能解开 |
| [19:26] | and I just wasn’t going to sleep until I figured it out. | 不想明白 我睡不着觉 |
| [19:28] | Jimmy, you have been sleepwalking your whole life. | 吉米 你梦游了一辈子 |
| [19:32] | I’m not gonna let that happen again. | 我不允许它再次发生 |
| [19:34] | So I asked myself, | 于是我问自己 |
| [19:35] | what do all your sleepwalks have in common? | 你每次梦游有什么共同点 |
| [19:37] | The red pins are where you’ve been falling asleep, | 红色大头针是你睡下的地方 |
| [19:39] | and the blue pins are where you’ve been waking up. | 蓝色大头针是你醒来的地方 |
| [19:41] | So if you extend this line, | 把线连上 |
| [19:43] | you’ll see that you’ve been walking | 就会发现 你梦游时 |
| [19:45] | towards the same place, okay? | 总往一个方向走 |
| [19:48] | This is your Mecca. | 这是你的圣地 |
| [19:50] | This is your homeland, | 你老家 |
| [19:52] | the Chance residence. | 吉斯家 |
| [19:53] | Yeah, but just now, I woke up in the dining room. | 但我刚刚是在餐厅醒来的 |
| [19:57] | That’s where your stuff is. | 因为你的东西在那儿 |
| [19:59] | Oh, yeah! | 是啊 |
| [20:01] | That’s right! | 确实 |
| [20:03] | Why doesn’t anybody ever believe me?! | 怎么就没人相信我呢 |
| [20:06] | I believe you, I believe you, | 我相信你啊 |
| [20:08] | but I will say, you were a lot more fun | 但你的真爱还是《加州靡情》的时候 |
| [20:10] | when your favorite show was Californication. | 你可有趣多了 |
| [20:15] | People like to say “home is where the heart is”, | 人们总爱说 家是心之所在 |
| [20:17] | but I kind of think home is where your stuff is. | 我却觉得 家是物之所在 |
| [20:20] | You sure you don’t mind me putting all my old junk in this room? | 你真不介意把我的破烂儿放在这个房间吗 |
| [20:23] | It’s our room. | 这是我们的房间 |
| [20:24] | Plus, I still have my old college bulletin board | 再说了 我大学时的公告板 |
| [20:26] | and I got lots of my old stuff. | 还有很多旧东西也还在 |
| [20:27] | Just look in the closet. | 你打开壁橱看看 |
| [20:34] | Your parents were right. | 你爸妈说得对 |
| [20:36] | That’s hilarious. | 还真欢乐啊 |
| [20:40] | Turns out I wasn’t the only one | 结果发现不止我一个人 |
| [20:41] | who had an emotional attachment to their stuff. | 对物品有恋旧情节 |
| [20:57] | Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [20:58] | We never have to discuss how he drove you. | 不用告诉我他是怎么折腾你的 |
| [21:03] | And some people | 还有的人 |
| [21:04] | just can’t get enough of other people’s stuff. | 戒不掉别人的东西 |
| [21:14] | Mostly, I was really glad to have all that sleepwalking behind me… | 说实话 我挺自豪自己有过梦游的经历 |
| [21:19] | until I found out it was hereditary. | 但没想到梦游也会遗传 |