| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:12] | Oh, yeah? Well, I checked my phone, | 那啥 我看了下手机 |
| [00:14] | and I realized Lochlyn has been playing “Words With Buddies”, | 发现洛可琳在玩填词游戏 |
| [00:17] | and she’s beating my Uncle Dave. | 还打破了我叔叔戴夫的记录 |
| [00:19] | It’s no surprise– her cranium measures in the 85th percentile. | 但这没什么 她大脑测试结果排在前15%呢 |
| [00:22] | I took out a ruler last night, | 昨晚我拿尺子量了量 |
| [00:24] | and it turns out that my little Jacqueline’s face | 发现闺女杰奎琳的脸蛋儿 |
| [00:26] | is perfectly symmetrical. | 符合黄金比例 |
| [00:27] | Well, my Allister started doing the cutest thing– watch this: | 我家埃利斯特真是潮到不行 你们看 |
| [00:31] | Allister, Allister, do “Gangnam Style”! | 埃利斯特 埃利斯特 跳《江南style》 |
| [00:34] | Come on! | 跳呀 |
| [00:35] | Hold on, he’ll do it. | 等一会 他会跳的 |
| [00:36] | Sabrina and I don’t usually socialize with other parents at the park, | 我和塞布丽娜不常和其他家长在公园打交道 |
| [00:40] | mostly because we’ve found them annoying. | 主要他们神烦到不行 |
| [00:41] | But today we were on a mission. | 但今天我们有任务在身 |
| [00:43] | It all started a few weeks ago | 事情要从几周前说起 |
| [00:45] | when we decided to plan Hope’s birthday party. | 我们决定给喜旺办个生日派对 |
| [00:47] | Wait a second, wait a second. | 等等等等 |
| [00:49] | The package for the moon bounce, the invitations, | 月亮蹦蹦床加邀请函 |
| [00:51] | the goody bags, and the entertainment | 再加礼品袋和娱乐节目 |
| [00:53] | is how much, exactly? | 一共是多少 |
| [00:55] | Are you kidding me?! | 您玩我呢 |
| [00:57] | My wedding didn’t cost that much. | 哥结婚都没这么费钱 |
| [00:58] | Forget it. | 算了 |
| [01:00] | Listen, if you want to plan an affordable party, | 你要是不想派对超出预算 |
| [01:02] | you got to stop calling those fancy places that can afford websites, | 就别给那些开得起网站 |
| [01:05] | and hit the local bulletin boards. | 还打得起广告的公司去电话了 |
| [01:06] | Yeah, laundromats, bowling alleys. | 去洗衣店或保龄球馆试试 |
| [01:09] | We used to find your babysitters at the bus station. | 我们以前就是在公交站给你找的保姆 |
| [01:11] | How many kids are coming? | 有多少小朋友要来 |
| [01:13] | Hope doesn’t have any kid friends yet. | 喜旺还没交到小朋友呢 |
| [01:14] | Yeah, she’s only three. | 是啊 人才三岁 |
| [01:16] | I don’t blame you. | 爹不怪你 |
| [01:16] | Finding kid friends before they start school | 在小孩上学前就给他们找到玩伴 |
| [01:18] | means you have to talk to the parents. | 意味着必须跟他们的家长打交道 |
| [01:20] | And all they want to talk about is their kids. | 那群家长三句话离不开自家宝贝 |
| [01:22] | “My son walked at eight months.” | “我儿子八个月就会走路了” |
| [01:23] | “My son knows all his letters.” | “我儿子认得他名字里的所有字母” |
| [01:25] | “My son has a friend.” | “我儿子有个朋友” |
| [01:26] | You never heard us saying all that stuff. | 你没听过我们唠叨这些吧 |
| [01:28] | Is that why I didn’t have any friends growing up? | 这就是我小时候没朋友的原因吗 |
| [01:30] | Because you guys couldn’t stand the other parents? | 就因为你们受不了别的家长 |
| [01:33] | Don’t judge us– you know you’re doing the exact same thing. | 少来 你们现在不也一样 |
| [01:35] | Oh, my God. We really are. | 额滴神呐 那确实 |
| [01:38] | At least we had an excuse. | 我们还情有可原 |
| [01:39] | We still believed Burt was gonna be a rock star. | 我们那时觉得伯特会成为摇滚巨星 |
| [01:41] | We didn’t need to embrace the whole parent lifestyle. | 所以不用进入家长模式 |
| [01:44] | We were gonna be trashing hotel rooms. | 我们要扫荡各大旅馆 |
| [01:46] | Hanging out with Foghat. | 跟着弗搁特乐队混[摇滚乐队] |
| [01:47] | Driving sports cars into pools. | 把跑车开进游泳池 |
| [01:49] | Yeah, we had big dreams. | 是啊 我们曾心怀大志 |
| [01:51] | But you didn’t need any friends. You turned out fine. | 而且你不需要朋友 现在不也过得挺好 |
| [01:53] | – Fine? – I didn’t say you turned out great. | -还好 -我又没说你过得很好 |
| [01:55] | I said you turned out fine. | 是过得还好 |
| [01:56] | It’s a scale, Jimmy. | 这是两个概念 吉米 |
| [01:57] | If you didn’t have any friends, what’d you do? | 如果没有朋友 你干什么呢 |
| [02:00] | I had to improvise. | 我搞行为艺术 |
| [02:02] | What do you want to do? | 你想干啥 |
| [02:04] | I don’t know. You can crumple up some paper and throw it in my mouth. | 不知道 你可以揉一团纸扔进我嘴里 |
| [02:09] | Yeah, I guess we can do that again. | 好吧 那就再来一次吧 |
| [02:14] | We got to get Hope some friends. | 我们得给喜旺找些玩伴 |
| [02:15] | So here we are. | 所以我们就来这儿了 |
| [02:17] | My Jacqueline can do that, too! | 我家杰奎琳也能跳 |
| [02:19] | Jacqueline! | 杰奎琳 |
| [02:21] | Do the Chinese dance! | 跳《最炫民族风》 |
| [02:23] | Hey! If your kid likes to dance, | 如果你们家小孩爱跳舞 |
| [02:26] | we’re having a birthday party for Hope! | 就来参加喜旺的生日派对吧 |
| [02:32] | Okay, see you Saturday at 2:00. | 周六下午两点见 |
| [02:35] | We did it! | 成功了 |
| [02:36] | We are so crushing this party. | 我们的派对肯定会很成功 |
| [02:38] | We got food, entertainment, | 我们搞定了餐饮 娱乐节目 |
| [02:40] | even a moon bounce for almost nothing. | 月亮蹦蹦床几乎是白送的 |
| [02:42] | We should be party planners for poor people. | 我们应该去做穷人派对策划师 |
| [02:44] | We’d make a fortune. | 肯定会发大财 |
| [02:46] | I still can’t believe people just leave | 我还是难以相信 |
| [02:47] | their broken pinata pieces in the park after their parties. | 人们开完派对就把碎掉的彩陶扔公园了 |
| [02:47] | 墨西哥习俗 节日和生日里打碎彩饰陶罐以示庆祝 | |
| [02:50] | I know. Hope is gonna love Top-Gun-Chicken-Ass-purple-T-Rex-shortstop. | 我懂 喜旺会爱这凌云壮志版鸡屁股恐龙王的 |
| [02:50] | 《凌云壮志》 一部关于飞行员的电影 这里应该是说陶罐玩偶那只手 | |
| [02:56] | And since I’ve been here, | 自从我来到这里 |
| [02:58] | with the support of my counselors and my group… | 在心理医生和团队的支持下 |
| [03:01] | I haven’t touched the junk since. | 我再也没碰过那话儿 |
| [03:04] | Good for you, TV’s Tim Stack. | 你真棒 电视明星蒂姆·斯达克 |
| [03:06] | We know that masturbation is a tough addiction to beat. | 我们知道打飞机特别难戒 |
| [03:08] | Check out TV’s Tim Stack. | 看看电视明星蒂姆 |
| [03:10] | Talk about a lesson to get kids to stop masturbating. | 居然在教孩子们戒掉打飞机 |
| [03:13] | Let’s turn our attention now to former chart-topping rock star, | 现在我们来看过气摇滚明星 |
| [03:16] | Smokey Floyd. | 烟枪老弗 |
| [03:21] | Hey, look at Smokey! | 看烟枪老弗 |
| [03:22] | He looks great! | 气色不错啊 |
| [03:24] | So, Smokey, can you tell us about the moment you hit rock bottom? | 烟枪 能谈谈你的低谷时刻吗 |
| [03:28] | Well, dude, it all started when I… | 哥们儿 这都是因为 |
| [03:30] | promised a fan I’d play a show for him. | 我答应了给一个粉丝表演 |
| [03:32] | I went crazy, and the video went viral on the Internet. | 我抽风了 视频也在网上传疯了 |
| [03:36] | Smokey, “The Doctor of Rock,” Frickin’ Floyd! | 烟枪乃摇滚之王 老弗屌爆了 |
| [03:44] | Burt, it’s you! | 伯特 是你啊 |
| [03:47] | I-I’m famous. | 哥成名了 |
| [03:48] | I’ll bet, like, four billion people just saw that! | 我敢打赌有四十亿人看到了 |
| [03:50] | You know, I looked at myself in that video, and… | 我看着视频里的自己 |
| [03:53] | realized that I’d become a monster. | 意识到自己成了怪物 |
| [03:55] | You know, a liver-spotted, turkey-necked monster. | 一个满脸老人斑 脖子皱巴巴的怪物 |
| [03:59] | So I went down to Mexico and got plastic surgeries. | 所以我去墨西哥整了容 |
| [04:02] | You know, they were so-so with the knife, | 他们刀工不咋地 |
| [04:04] | but real liberal with the painkillers. | 用起止痛药倒是毫不吝啬 |
| [04:06] | Next thing I knew, I’m hooked | 我很快就上瘾了 |
| [04:07] | on vikes, perks, oxy, coffee enemas. | 嗑维克丁和奥施康定 酗酒 做咖啡灌肠 |
| [04:12] | I’m told I burned my house down. | 听人说我还烧了自己的房子 |
| [04:14] | Let’s take a look at Smokey’s journey over the last 30 days. | 我们来回顾下烟枪过去30天的经历 |
| [04:23] | Which way to the stage? | 舞台怎么走 |
| [04:32] | 与明星一起 戒不良习惯 | |
| [05:21] | 与明星一起 戒不良习惯 | |
| [05:21] | Well, you’ve obviously come a long way, | 您一路走来实属不易 |
| [05:23] | and we couldn’t be more excited to hear your final pledge of sobriety. | 我们真想听听您的清醒宣誓 |
| [05:27] | Well, I-I believe in the adage: | 我深信这句格言 |
| [05:28] | “If you love something, set it free.” You know? | “爱它就给它自由” |
| [05:31] | Uh, which is why I’m setting free pills and alcohol. | 所以我也要给药片和酒精自由 |
| [05:33] | But if they come back to me, | 如果它们回来找我 |
| [05:35] | then I’ll know they really love me. | 我就会明白 它们对我是真爱 |
| [05:36] | Until then, I… | 在那之前 |
| [05:38] | just want to say I’m sorry | 我只想对我伤害的人 |
| [05:39] | to all the people I hurt along the way. | 说声抱歉 |
| [05:42] | I wrote all your names down on this list, and… | 我把你们的名字都列在名单上了 |
| [05:45] | I’ll be coming to apologize to you one by one. | 我会挨个登门道歉的 |
| [05:53] | Burt Chance, you’re number 33 on my list: | 伯特·吉斯 你是我名单上的第33号 |
| [05:56] | “Robbed a Lawn Guy of the Smokey Floyd experience.” | “夺走一个除草小伙和烟枪老弗一起摇滚的机会” |
| [05:59] | I’d like to stay with you for a week and make up for it. | 作为弥补 我愿和你呆一星期 |
| [06:03] | Let’s rock and roll! | 摇滚吧 小宇宙 |
| [06:12] | Hey, Barney, thank you again for taking care of the cake. | 巴尼 谢谢你帮忙搞定蛋糕 |
| [06:15] | Well, don’t thank me yet. | 先别急着谢我 |
| [06:16] | There was a bit of an e-mail mix-up with the bakery. | 我把给蛋糕店的邮件搞混了 |
| [06:18] | I accidentally switched Hope’s picture | 不小心把喜旺的照片 |
| [06:20] | with the one I use for my online dating profile. | 替换成了我在交友网站上的照片 |
| [06:25] | – What? – Oh. | -啥 -神啊 |
| [06:26] | Hey, everybody on those sites lies. | 那种网站上没人说真话好吗 |
| [06:28] | I once thought I was going out with a girl | 有次我和个妹子约会 |
| [06:29] | who claimed she had the body of Kate Upton. | 她声称自己是魔鬼身材 |
| [06:31] | She was bald, and one of her legs had two knees. | 结果发现她秃头 有条腿还有俩膝盖 |
| [06:35] | Smokey, these are the hosts, | 烟枪 这两位是主办人 |
| [06:37] | our son Jimmy and his wife Sabrina. | 我儿子吉米和他老婆塞布丽娜 |
| [06:39] | Let’s get this party started. | 嗨起来吧 |
| [06:41] | Uh, no, thank you. | 不用了 谢谢你 |
| [06:42] | And, uh, c-could you possibly | 能不能麻烦您 |
| [06:43] | not use the cocaine around the other parents? | 别在其他家长面前嗑药 |
| [06:45] | ‘Cause we’re just… trying to get our daughter some friends. | 我们是想让女儿交到朋友的 |
| [06:48] | Well, from my experience, that usually helps you make friends. | 根据以往经验 这个有助于交友 |
| [06:51] | But this is actually my lactose-intolerance pill. | 但这其实是我的乳糖不耐受药片 |
| [06:53] | I got to crush it up and snort it | 我得压碎后吸食 |
| [06:54] | so I don’t re-trigger my addiction to pills. | 不然嗑药瘾会复发 |
| [06:58] | So, how are you guys enjoying the rock-and-roll lifestyle? | 你们的摇滚生活过得怎么样 |
| [07:01] | It sucks. | 逊毙了 |
| [07:03] | The only stones he has any stories about are the ones in his kidneys. | 他身上只有肾结石还残留着”滚石”精神 |
| [07:06] | When you’re young, you see a rock star on TV, | 年轻时 你在电视上看到摇滚明星 |
| [07:08] | you dream about hanging out with him. | 会梦想着跟他混 |
| [07:09] | And then that dream finally comes true– | 等到美梦成真 |
| [07:11] | you spend your day watching the Weather Channel, | 却只能一起看天气频道 |
| [07:14] | talking about compression socks. | 讨论静脉曲张袜 |
| [07:18] | I’m just saying, enjoy your circulation | 提个醒儿 趁血液循环系统还正常 |
| [07:20] | while you still got it, kid. | 尽情享受吧 孩子 |
| [07:21] | Deep vein thrombosis is not as cool as it sounds. | 深静脉血栓可没它听上去那么酷 |
| [07:28] | Happy birthday! Happy birthday! | 生日快乐 生日快乐 |
| [07:30] | Ooh, look, everybody– it’s Beauty and the Beast! | 看啊 是美女与野兽 |
| [07:32] | Actually, we’re Beauty and the Beaver. | 其实我们是美女与野狸 |
| [07:35] | Yeah, for 20 bucks and leftover cake, | 就20块和吃剩的蛋糕 |
| [07:36] | you don’t get copyrighted characters. | 你可雇不到有有版权的卡通人物 |
| [07:38] | Wait a minute, I thought you were hiring professionals, | 等等 你们不是要雇专业演员吗 |
| [07:41] | not Andrew and his ex-wife Donna! | 怎么是安德鲁和他的前妻唐娜 |
| [07:43] | That’s ex-ex-wife. | 是前前妻 |
| [07:45] | We’re back together. | 我俩复婚了 |
| [07:46] | And they are professionals. | 他们就是专业的啊 |
| [07:48] | Yeah. Just because we’ve never done this before | 就是 没人雇我们演过 |
| [07:50] | and we haven’t been paid doesn’t mean we’re not professionals. | 不代表我们不专业 |
| [07:53] | Plus, I have always dreamed of being in show business, | 而且进入演艺圈一直是我的梦想 |
| [07:56] | so this act gives me a reason to not dump Andrew’s ass again. | 所以这次演出给了我一个不抛弃安德鲁的理由 |
| [07:59] | We couldn’t be happier. | 我们真是太高兴了 |
| [08:02] | Look, I know he’s four years old, | 我知道他都四岁了 |
| [08:04] | but he likes it and I like it. | 但他喜欢 我也喜欢 |
| [08:07] | Plus, I even use some of the leftovers to make this nice, soft cheese | 我还把吃剩的做成柔软美味的奶酪 |
| [08:10] | that he loves to put on crackers, so… | 他喜欢用那奶酪配饼干吃 所以 |
| [08:13] | why stop breast-feeding now? | 干啥要停止母乳喂养呢 |
| [08:18] | This party reminds you of some crazy, wild stories, huh, Smokey? | 这派对让你想起了些疯狂的往事吧 烟枪 |
| [08:22] | I told you, I don’t want to glorify that lifestyle, bro. | 我说过我不想美化那种生活 兄弟 |
| [08:25] | – Please. – No second scoops, kid. | -拜托了 -不能吃第二球 小孩 |
| [08:27] | Today it’s two, tomorrow it’s three, and then the next thing you know, | 今天两个明天三个 等你回过神来 |
| [08:31] | you’re behind the Roxy offering to suck Nikki Sixx’s toes | 就已经为了一口海洛因 |
| [08:33] | for a scoop of heroin fudge ripple! | 屁颠儿着去钻人家裤裆了 |
| [08:37] | Sorry. That got a little personal. | 抱歉 不该迁怒你 |
| [08:42] | Pizza Man. | 送披萨的 |
| [08:43] | Well… where’s the rest of the pizza? | 还有的披萨呢 |
| [08:46] | This is it. | 都在这 |
| [08:47] | We ordered two super jumbo pizzas. | 我们定的是两个巨型披萨 |
| [08:50] | These are super jumbo pizzas. | 这就是巨型披萨 |
| [08:52] | We’ve recently redefined our sizes. | 我们最近调整了尺寸 |
| [08:53] | We also have super duper jumbo and super grande jumbo. | 我们还有超大披萨和超级无敌大披萨 |
| [08:57] | But for a party this size, | 但看这派对的规模 |
| [08:58] | you really should have ordered two | 你真应该定两个 |
| [08:59] | “Damn, that’s too much pizza” Pizzas. | “擦 这也太大了吧”披萨 |
| [09:01] | All right, well… just take ’em in the kitchen | 好吧 你拿去厨房 |
| [09:03] | and cut ’em into a hundred pieces. | 切成一百块 |
| [09:07] | Hey, Pizza Man. | 嗨 送披萨的 |
| [09:08] | Hey, Smokey Floyd. | 嗨 烟枪老弗 |
| [09:21] | Oh, my God, that is so inappropriate. | 天哪 这合适吗 |
| [09:23] | Oh, no, no, no. I-I was just gonna… | 啊没没没 我刚只是 |
| [09:25] | No, you get to drink while I have to be sober | 你能喝酒 我却得保持清醒 |
| [09:27] | trying not to freak out that loser’s three-year-old | 看到臭屌丝的三岁小孩穿着衬衫进城 |
| [09:30] | is underneath her shirt going to town. | 还得保持淡定 |
| [09:32] | I know, right? | 我懂你 |
| [09:33] | Come on, girl, hook a sister up. | 来吧好姐妹 一起喝个痛快 |
| [09:35] | We can get through this together. All right. | 我们可以一起熬过去 |
| [09:39] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [09:41] | Where would you like me to set up? | 我应该放哪儿呢 |
| [09:43] | Wha… | 这 |
| [09:44] | What is that? | 这是啥 |
| [09:45] | I ordered a bounce house. | 我定的是弹跳屋啊 |
| [09:47] | No, you ordered a moon bounce. | 不 你定的是月亮蹦蹦床 |
| [09:50] | In what world do you get a bounce house for $17? | 哪个星球的弹跳屋只要17块啊 |
| [09:53] | I guess I just thought you were an idiot. | 我这不是以为你傻了么 |
| [09:55] | There’s a corner in the living room. | 客厅有个角落能放 |
| [10:03] | You got to preserve those precious memories. | 这些宝贵记忆必须珍藏 |
| [10:05] | Yep. | 是啊 |
| [10:06] | I tape all my son’s parties. | 我给儿子的所有派对录像 |
| [10:08] | Of course, I mainly do it | 当然我这么做的主要目的 |
| [10:10] | so I don’t have to talk to any of the other annoying parents. | 是避免和其他讨人嫌的家长聊天 |
| [10:13] | I ran out of tape half an hour ago. | 其实半小时前带子就拍完了 |
| [10:16] | Scott. | 斯科特 |
| [10:18] | Jimmy. | 吉米 |
| [10:19] | Hey. I just met the coolest dad. | 我刚遇到了顶级酷爸 |
| [10:22] | You’re kidding! I just met the coolest mom. | 真的假的 我刚也遇见了顶级酷妈 |
| [10:24] | Man, I can’t believe we found two. | 真不敢相信我们能找到俩 |
| [10:26] | This party’s turning out to be great! | 这派对越来越带劲了 |
| [10:28] | Okay, you’ve had your five jumps. | 好了 你跳完五下了 |
| [10:30] | That was worth a ten-minute wait, right? | 等十分钟超值的 对吧 |
| [10:33] | When I was your age, | 我像你这么大的时候 |
| [10:34] | I was sewing soccer balls for eight cents a day! | 就能缝足球 每天赚80美分呢 |
| [10:41] | Let’s go. | 跳吧 |
| [10:46] | That’s scary. | 好怕怕 |
| [10:49] | We’re losing ’em. | 他们不想看了 |
| [10:50] | Quick, do “Gangnam Style.” | 快 跳《江南style》 |
| [10:52] | – I don’t know it. – Just do it! | -那是啥 -只管跳 |
| [10:55] | Look! Gag-’em Style! | 看啊 江拿Sytle |
| [10:57] | Gag-’em Style! Gag-’em Style! | 江拿style 江拿style |
| [11:02] | Mom, Dad, look, we’ve got a problem. | 爹 娘 我们遇到麻烦了 |
| [11:05] | All right, the entertainment you guys booked sucks, | 你们安排的娱乐节目太逊了 |
| [11:07] | and everyone is gonna leave. | 大家都想走 |
| [11:09] | Okay, we can’t work this party. | 我们搞不定这派对 |
| [11:11] | One of those little animals just dropped a dirty diaper | 有个熊孩子刚扔上来一片脏尿布 |
| [11:13] | down the back of Andrew’s costume, | 扔到安德鲁戏服的背后 |
| [11:14] | and now he’s in the shower crying, | 现在他在厕所哭 |
| [11:16] | which, as you can imagine, is a huge turn-on. | 正中萌点 搞得我有点饥渴难耐 |
| [11:18] | Excuse me, darling. | 打扰一下 亲爱的 |
| [11:20] | Would a tiny piece of pizza bring you joy? | 一小块披萨会让你开心点吗 |
| [11:23] | I’m sorry… | 你注意一点 |
| [11:25] | Was I being a crab, man? | 我是在抱怨吗 |
| [11:29] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [11:30] | I have to give you your money back. | 我不得不把钱退给你了 |
| [11:32] | Your American children are far too fat, | 你们美国小孩都太胖了 |
| [11:34] | and they’re stretching out my springs. | 他们在折磨我的弹簧 |
| [11:35] | That trampoline is my only form of day time income. | 那个弹簧床是我白天唯一的收入来源 |
| [11:37] | Great, now we don’t even have the sucky entertainment. | 这倒好 现在我们连破娱乐节目都没了 |
| [11:40] | What are we supposed to do now? | 现在该怎么办 |
| [11:42] | You guys got to fix this. | 你们得做出补救 |
| [11:45] | Smokey, | 烟枪 |
| [11:48] | we need to ask you a giant favor. | 求你帮个大忙 |
| [11:52] | Would you go out there and play a song | 你能到外面在我孙女的生日聚会上 |
| [11:55] | at my granddaughter’s birthday party? | 演唱一曲吗 |
| [11:59] | I’d be honored. | 荣幸之至 |
| [12:00] | But I haven’t played guitar sober since I was 12. | 但自从12岁起我就没清醒地弹过吉他 |
| [12:04] | I can play guitar. | 我能弹吉他 |
| [12:05] | That’s fine, dude, | 那太好了 |
| [12:06] | but I can’t hit the high notes. | 但是我唱不上去高音 |
| [12:07] | Never could. All the high notes on my album | 从没唱上去过 我专辑里所有高音 |
| [12:10] | were sung by a little Filipino boy named Dalawapo. | 都是菲律宾一个叫达拉蛙蹼的男孩唱的 |
| [12:12] | Oh, well, I can help with the singing. | 我能帮忙唱歌 |
| [12:15] | Me, too, and Andrew and I have a bunch of instruments, | 我也可以 安德鲁和我有一堆乐器 |
| [12:18] | so we could be your band. | 我们可以做你的乐队 |
| [12:20] | And I’ve been known to wow on slide whistle. | 我擅长吹口哨 |
| [12:22] | I mean, we’ve never even played together. | 但是我们从没一起演奏过 |
| [12:23] | I mean, how are we gonna keep time without a drummer? | 而且没有鼓手我们怎么合拍子 |
| [12:25] | One, two, three, four. | 一 二 三 四 |
| [12:29] | Hello, children of Natesville and their care takers, | 大家好 纳什维尔的孩子们和家长们 |
| [12:31] | I’m Smokey Floyd. | 我是烟枪老弗 |
| [12:32] | Most of my songs are for adults who are high on stuff, | 我绝大多数的歌都是写给磕了药的成年人 |
| [12:36] | but a few years back, | 但几年前 |
| [12:37] | I wrote a song for a really stupid girl I was dating. | 给当时与我约会的傻叉女生写了一首歌 |
| [12:40] | I think you all might like it. | 我想你们会喜欢 |
| [12:41] | Maybe learn a few things, too. | 说不定还能从中受益 |
| [12:42] | It’s called “When You’re Alone.” | 这首歌叫”独自一人” |
| [12:44] | *When you’re in the kitchen* | *一个人 在厨房* |
| [12:45] | *you’ve got to behave.* | *小朋友 要小心* |
| [12:48] | *You don’t put metal in the microwave.* | *金属块 勿微波* |
| [12:52] | *The knobs on the stove are hands-off, no doubt.* | *火炉把 别乱摸* |
| [12:55] | *And if you make toast, you don’t use a knife to fish it out.* | *烤土司 往外挑 你可千万别用刀* |
| [13:00] | *When you’re alone.* | *一个人 在家家* |
| [13:01] | *When you’re home alone.* | *小鬼头 独当家* |
| [13:03] | *You got to stay safe when you’re home all alone.* | *在家家 要平安* |
| [13:08] | *When you’re alone.* | *一个人 在家家* |
| [13:09] | *When you’re home alone.* | *小鬼头 独当家* |
| [13:11] | *You got to make sure not to die | *保平安 可别挂* |
| [13:15] | or choke or burn the house down.* | *防噎着 别玩火* |
| [13:18] | We did it. We’re rock stars. | 我们成功了 我们是摇滚明星了 |
| [13:21] | This was awesome. | 太棒了 |
| [13:22] | Must be what it feels like to be high on drugs. | 这肯定和嗑药一样爽 |
| [13:24] | Oh, not even close. | 还差得远呢 |
| [13:29] | *Happy birthday, dear Hope.* | *祝喜旺生日快乐* |
| [13:34] | *Happy birthday to you…* | *祝你生日快乐* |
| [13:41] | Good night, Natesville. | 纳什维尔 晚安 |
| [13:42] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [13:43] | Sabrina, that band was amazing. | 塞布丽娜 那个乐队赞爆了 |
| [13:46] | You guys aren’t like the other parents, we should be friends. | 你们不像其他家长 我们应该做朋友 |
| [13:49] | You know, we were just saying the same thing. | 我们也正有此意 |
| [13:50] | Steph, Steph, we got an emergency. | 史戴芙 有紧急情况 |
| [13:52] | Lochlyn was just holding another girl’s hand, | 洛可琳刚抓了另一个女孩的手 |
| [13:54] | and I’m all out of hand sanitizer. | 但我没带洗手液 |
| [13:56] | We’ll meet you in the car. | 我们在车里等你 |
| [13:57] | Come on, honey, come on. | 宝贝 快走 |
| [13:58] | Okay, come on. | 快点 |
| [14:00] | See you guys around the park? | 公园见 |
| [14:04] | Oh, no, she’s married to that jerk? | 她居然嫁给了那个混蛋 |
| [14:06] | Well, ow, we still have Scott. | 我们还有斯科特 |
| [14:08] | Hopefully his wife is cool. | 希望他老婆是正常的 |
| [14:09] | Scott, Scott, Scott, | 斯科特 斯科特 |
| [14:11] | my sister just e-mailed me a video | 我姐刚电邮我一个视频 |
| [14:13] | that is definitely the next dance craze. | 绝对是下一个风靡舞蹈 |
| [14:15] | I already taught Allister the first three steps. | 我已经教了埃利斯特前三个舞步 |
| [14:16] | Go ahead, buddy. Come on, Allister. | 走起 埃利斯特 |
| [14:18] | Do the dance. | 跳一个 |
| [14:20] | Show daddy. | 给爸爸看看 |
| [14:22] | Hope doesn’t need any kid friends, right? | 喜旺不需要任何小朋友 对吧 |
| [14:24] | Nope, she’s gonna make friends in college. | 对 她可以在大学交朋友 |
| [14:26] | That was the most amazing thing ever. | 刚才酷毙了 |
| [14:28] | I’m excited. | 我太兴奋了 |
| [14:30] | I can’t stop bouncing. | 我都没法停下来不跳了 |
| [14:31] | I’m so excited you can’t stop bouncing, too. | 你一直跳 我也很兴奋 |
| [14:34] | You know, there’s kids parties in this town every weekend | 每个周末这个小镇都有孩子的聚会 |
| [14:36] | and they need entertainment. | 他们需要娱乐节目 |
| [14:38] | And you heard that crowd. | 你也看到人们的兴奋劲儿了 |
| [14:39] | They loved us. | 他们爱我们 |
| [14:40] | We could be huge. | 我们会红的 |
| [14:42] | Oh, we could be bigger than huge. | 我们会大红大紫 |
| [14:44] | We could be the Winger of kid’s music. | 我们可以成为孩子界的温格 |
| [14:46] | Geez…! | 帅呆了 |
| [14:48] | Which is why it’s hard to do what I got to do. | 这也是虽艰难 但我不得不做的原因 |
| [14:50] | Break up a band. | 解散乐队 |
| [14:52] | You can’t do that. | 你不能这样做 |
| [14:54] | I finally discovered my purpose in life | 我终于找到人生的真谛 |
| [14:56] | is not to run a food pantry for the homeless. | 那不是给无家可归的人提供饭菜 |
| [14:58] | I was born to be a dancing beaver in a kid’s band. | 我生来就该在儿童乐队里做跳舞的海狸 |
| [15:01] | That set was so awesome! | 这个组合帅呆了 |
| [15:03] | That wasn’t a set, bro. | 这不是一个组合 兄弟 |
| [15:05] | You can’t be awesome with one song. | 只有一首歌不可能帅得起来 |
| [15:06] | Yeah, well, um, what about Francis Scott Key? | 那弗朗西斯·斯科特·基怎么说 |
| [15:06] | 美国国歌《星条旗永不落》词作者 只写过国歌歌词 | |
| [15:09] | How many songs did she write? | 她写了几首歌 |
| [15:11] | I’m a concert cellist. | 我是演唱会大提琴手 |
| [15:13] | I can help write some songs. | 我能帮忙写歌 |
| [15:14] | And I can help him. | 我能帮他一起写 |
| [15:15] | We could lock ourselves in a room | 我们能把自己锁在房间里 |
| [15:19] | and not come out of there until our thighs ache. | 不达目的不罢休 |
| [15:23] | That’s the spirit, guys. | 这就是摇滚的精神啊 |
| [15:25] | Guys, that’s not how the music business works, all right? | 音乐产业不是这样运作的 好吗 |
| [15:28] | Plus, we don’t even have a manager. | 而且 我们没有经纪人 |
| [15:30] | Uh, I-I’ll be your manager. | 我能做你们的经纪人 |
| [15:32] | I was the equipment manager for my high school marching band. | 我曾经是高中游行乐队的设备经理 |
| [15:34] | I didn’t have what it took to play the triangle, | 我没有打三角铁的天分 |
| [15:36] | but the band director said I had chutzpa. | 但乐队指导说我胆色过人 |
| [15:39] | Guys, I’m done. | 伙计们 我退休了 |
| [15:41] | Smokey’s rock and roll days are behind him. | 烟枪的摇滚时代已是过去时 |
| [15:43] | Now I’m just an everyday schnook like you chump stains. | 现在我只是一个和你们一样的二货 |
| [15:47] | You said you’d put me on your list | 你说过把我放上致歉名单的原因就是 |
| [15:48] | because you denied me the Smokey Floyd experience. | 因为你拒绝我和你一起摇滚 |
| [15:51] | Now you’re doing it again. | 现在你又重蹈覆辙 |
| [15:53] | To all of us. | 这次还伤害了我们所有人 |
| [15:54] | You’re gonna have to put all of us on your list. | 你必须把我们所有人都加入致歉名单 |
| [15:57] | Brother, at this rate, | 照这样的进度 |
| [15:58] | you’re never gonna finish crossing off that list. | 你永远都完成不了你的致歉名单了 |
| [16:01] | And we’re not the only ones who are gonna be disappointed. | 而且失望的不仅是我们 |
| [16:04] | A lot of people will be disappointed. | 还有更多人 |
| [16:13] | You know, I’ve never reallbeeny a big believer in karma. | 其实老子不怎么信因果报应 |
| [16:17] | Maybe that’s why my life’s been such a mess. | 也许正因如此 我的生活才一团糟 |
| [16:20] | If you guys want to do this, I’m in. | 既然你们大伙儿都想干 那我也加入 |
| [16:23] | We’re getting the band back together. | 我们乐团就要再度出山了 |
| [16:29] | *When you’re in the kitchen* | *一个人 在厨房* |
| [16:30] | *You’ve got to behave* | *小朋友 要小心* |
| [16:32] | *You don’t put metal in the microwave* | *金属块 勿微波* |
| [16:36] | *The knobs on the stove are hands-off, no doubt* | *火炉把 别乱摸* |
| [16:40] | *And if you make toast, you don’t use a knife* | *烤土司 往外挑* |
| [16:43] | *To fish it out* | *你可千万别用刀* |
| [16:44] | *When you’re alone, when you’re home alone* | *一个人 在家家* |
| [16:48] | *You got to stay safe when you’re home all alone* | *在家家 要平安* |
| [16:52] | *When you’re alone, when you’re home alone* | *一个人 在家家* |
| [16:56] | *You got to make sure not to die* | *保平安 保性命* |
| [16:59] | *Or choke or burn the house down* | *别噎着 别玩火* |
| [17:02] | *If you fall down and bump…* | *一失足 肿包包* |
| [17:04] | Before they knew it, | 他们甚至还没反应过来 |
| [17:06] | the band was getting offers all over. | 乐队就已经一炮而红了 |
| [17:07] | They were a huge hit. | 一夜成名 |
| [17:08] | 野兽牛奶乐队巡演 尖叫吧 | |
| [17:09] | Mom and Dad were finally living the rock and roll fantasy | 爹妈终于过上了摇滚明星的生活 |
| [17:12] | they dreamed of their whole life. | 这可是他们一辈子的梦想啊 |
| [17:14] | Living on the road, adoring fans, high fives. | 流浪四方 享受着粉丝的欢呼和击掌 |
| [17:18] | They even had T-shirts. | 他们甚至有特制的T恤 |
| [17:20] | *When you’re home alone* | *一个人 在家家* |
| [17:21] | *You got to stay safe when you’re home all alone* | *在家家 要平安* |
| [17:26] | When you’re alone, when you’re home alone…* | *一个人 在家家* |
| [17:29] | Mom and dad got something even Foghat never had, | 他们甚至享受到了五月天都没有过的殊荣 |
| [17:32] | stars in the produce aisle | 在家乡杂货铺的产品大道上 |
| [17:33] | of their hometown grocery store. | 留下了自己的星型奖章 |
| [17:36] | You guys, you guys, you’re not gonna believe it. | 伙计们 告诉你们一个天大的好消息 |
| [17:38] | Someone who saw you at the Natesville East Diaper-palooza | 有人在纳什维尔东区婴儿尿布店里看了你的表演 |
| [17:40] | e-mailed his rich uncle from Florida | 于是给他在佛罗里达州的金主叔叔 |
| [17:41] | a video of your performance, | 电邮了一份你们的表演视频 |
| [17:43] | and he’s flying us in on his private jet. | 现在他的叔叔要派私家飞机接我们去演出 |
| [17:45] | Rock and roll! | 摇滚吧 小宇宙 |
| [17:49] | This gig is just the beginning. | 这次演出只是个开始 |
| [17:50] | You know how many billionaires | 谁知道这世上有多少亿万富翁 |
| [17:51] | want to throw money at their kids | 愿意为了孩子一掷千金 |
| [17:53] | to make up for their divorces? | 以弥补失败的婚姻给下一代造成的阴影 |
| [17:54] | Fifty-two. | 52个 |
| [17:55] | Uh, well I don’t know the actual number. | 其实具体的人数我也不知道 |
| [17:57] | Sixty-two. | 62个 |
| [17:58] | Sure, let’s go with 62. | 好 那就62吧 |
| [17:59] | We could’ve gone with 52. | 为什么不是52呢 |
| [18:00] | I’m just saying, this could be | 重点是 这可能成为 |
| [18:01] | the most important kindergarten graduation party of your lives. | 你们人生中最重要的一次幼儿园毕业典礼 |
| [18:07] | We’re living our dream, Virginia. | 我们终于梦想成真了 维吉妮亚 |
| [18:09] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [18:10] | You can do anything you want in these private jets. | 这可是私家飞机上 你想干啥都行 |
| [18:12] | I put a knife inside this water bottle, | 我在水瓶了装了把刀 |
| [18:14] | and nobody even said anything. | 谁都管不着 |
| [18:15] | We should get Hope a T-shirt | 我们每去一家摇滚咖啡馆 |
| [18:16] | from every Rock and Roll Cafe we visit. | 都要买件T恤 回家送给喜旺 |
| [18:18] | They might even put our name up on the wall. | 说不定他们还会把我们的名字挂到墙上去呢 |
| [18:20] | Only this time, it won’t be after the words, | 不过名字前不用再加这样的注释了 |
| [18:22] | “Do not accept checks from…” | “千万不要收这些人的支票” |
| [18:26] | Oh, snap, what was that? | 哎呦 什么情况 |
| [18:28] | We’re flying into a dangerous storm. | 我们陷入了风暴中 情况十分凶险 |
| [18:30] | The good news is I’m one of the most accomplished pilots | 好消息是 本人是尼日利亚 |
| [18:33] | in all of Nigeria. | 最出色的飞行员 |
| [18:35] | The bad news is | 但还有个坏消息 |
| [18:36] | all controls are in English. | 所有的控制器都是英文标注的 |
| [18:42] | Rock and roll. | 摇滚吧 小宇宙 |
| [18:47] | Whoo! Baby! | 真刺激 |
| [18:55] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [18:57] | Bert, I’m so scared. | 伯特 我好怕 |
| [18:58] | Me, too. And we were almost famous. | 我也怕 我们都要成名了啊 |
| [19:01] | Don’t be afraid. | 别担心 |
| [19:02] | We have found a football field where we can land the plane, | 我们已经找到个足球场 可以紧急迫降 |
| [19:05] | unless they go into overtime. | 不过要是比赛打到加时 就降不了了 |
| [19:07] | Then we’re going to shoot for the miniature golf course. | 不过我们还是可以在一个迷你高尔夫球场迫降 |
| [19:10] | Miniature golf course? | 迷你高尔夫球场 |
| [19:12] | Maybe it’s a regular golf course | 也许是正常大小的 |
| [19:13] | that just looks tiny from up here. | 但在我们这个高度 看上去就是很小 |
| [19:16] | If we don’t make it, | 如果我们没能熬过去 |
| [19:18] | maybe I never said this enough, | 说句平时不常说的话 |
| [19:19] | but I love all of you. | 我爱你们 |
| [19:22] | You guys are like family to me. | 你们对我来说 就像家人一样 |
| [19:23] | And if I took an extra dollar or two out of petty cash, | 我是从你们微薄的收入里偷拿过一两块钱 |
| [19:26] | it’s because, well, you guys don’t pay me. | 但那也是因为你们从不付我工资 |
| [19:28] | I hit a turtle with my car four years ago. | 我四年前开车撞过一只乌龟 |
| [19:31] | I just hit it and kept driving. | 但我畏罪潜逃了 |
| [19:33] | Not a day goes by that I don’t see that cute little face. | 此后小家伙可爱的脸庞总在我眼前挥之不去 |
| [19:37] | My pet, Mr.Turtle, has been missing for roughly four years. | 我的宠物龟龟先生差不多就是四年前失踪的 |
| [19:40] | It was probably him. | 也许你撞的就是它 |
| [19:41] | I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [19:42] | Oh, that’s okay, | 算了 算了 |
| [19:43] | because I slept with your wife Donna. | 毕竟我和你老婆唐娜滚过床单 |
| [19:46] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [19:48] | – Me, too. – Damn it! | -还有我 -见鬼 |
| [19:49] | Why the hell did we do this? | 我们为什么要跑出来啊 |
| [19:51] | We had everything. | 我们已经拥有一切了 |
| [19:53] | We had the perfect life. | 曾经的生活那么完美 |
| [19:54] | I know, we made it to grandparents. | 我们都已抱上了孙女 |
| [19:57] | Now we’ll never see Hope grow up to be something great, | 可现在我们可能再也见不到喜旺长大成才了 |
| [20:00] | like the first female astronaut. | 她可能会成为史上第一位女宇航员 |
| [20:03] | We threw it all away, and for what? | 是我们自己抛弃了这些 可为了什么呢 |
| [20:05] | Another rock star gone before his time. | 又要有一位摇滚巨星英年早逝了 |
| [20:08] | Like Elvis or Buddy Holly or Adam Ant. | 我要和猫王 黄家驹和崔健一样了 |
| [20:10] | Adam Ant? He’s still alive. | 崔健 他还活着呢 |
| [20:12] | I thought he died in a helicopter crash with Billy Idol. | 我以为他和窦唯一起死在一场空难中了呢 |
| [20:14] | Also still alive. | 窦唯也活着呢 |
| [20:18] | I’m in the Witness Protection Program. | 我参与了证人保护计划 |
| [20:21] | I’ve been sneaking drinks these last couple weeks. | 这几个星期我一直偷偷喝酒 |
| [20:24] | I used to be a stripper. | 我以前是脱衣舞女郎 |
| [20:26] | Oh, screw it. | 我也不想忍了 |
| [20:27] | I’m married to a man who’s gay. | 我的老公是基佬 |
| [20:29] | What? Just because I had that dream about Bert | 搞毛啊 我是梦见过伯特 |
| [20:32] | where he was a horse and I’m riding him bareback | 梦里伯特是一只马 我就骑在他裸背上 |
| [20:34] | doesn’t mean I’m gay. | 可这并不代表我是基佬啊 |
| [20:36] | My therapist says that could mean any number of things. | 我的心理医生说 这个梦的意味多得很呢 |
| [20:45] | Thank God above, we’re alive! | 谢天谢地 我们大难不死 |
| [20:47] | We’re gonna make it. | 都会没事的 |
| [20:48] | Sweet relief. | 心上的石头总算放下了 |
| [20:56] | Smokey, this isn’t for us. | 烟枪 我们不想过这种日子了 |
| [21:00] | What do you mean, dude? | 什么意思 伙计 |
| [21:01] | As good as it sounds, | 尽管这个梦很美 |
| [21:02] | we can’t travel the world on a jet with you. | 但我们不能跟你一起坐飞机周游世界 |
| [21:04] | We’ve realized we have a life in Natesville, | 我们发现 我们想要的还是在纳什维尔 |
| [21:07] | with our granddaughter, that’s just too important to miss out on. | 那有我们重要的孙女 我们不愿离开她 |
| [21:11] | So, thanks for giving us a rock and roll experience, Smokey. | 谢谢你让我们经历了这段摇滚之旅 烟枪 |
| [21:14] | You can cross us off your list. | 现在 你可以将我们俩除名了 |
| [21:20] | Turns out Bert and Virginia | 看来 伯特和维吉妮亚 |
| [21:22] | didn’t really want the rock and roll lifestyle | 其实并不想过摇滚明星的生活 |
| [21:24] | as much as they thought they did. | 尽管他们曾经以为那就是他们的梦 |
| [21:26] | They realized their place was in Natesville, | 他俩最终意识到 他们是属于纳什维尔的 |
| [21:28] | raising their granddaughter. | 抚养喜旺成人才是宿命所在 |
| [21:35] | Woo, rock and roll! | 摇滚吧 小宇宙 |