| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Unfortunately, Hope got bit by a cow at Natesville’s petting zoo. | 喜旺在纳什维尔动物园不幸被牛袭击 |
| [00:06] | Luckily, the petting zoo is run by the butcher shop, | 幸好动物园是肉店老板开的 |
| [00:08] | so to avoid a messy lawsuit, they gave us 500 pounds of beef. | 为避免民事纠纷 送了我们500磅牛肉 |
| [00:12] | So lately, we’ve been eating nothing but meat. | 所以最近我们只吃牛肉 |
| [00:14] | All right, tonight we’re having steak-etti | 今晚咱吃牛肉”面” |
| [00:17] | with meatballs and meat sauce. | 加肉丸 肉酱 |
| [00:19] | And make sure you leave room for beef cobbler. | 记得留点肚子吃牛肉馅饼 |
| [00:24] | I haven’t pooped in a week. | 老娘便秘一星期了都 |
| [00:26] | Me, neither. | 我也是 |
| [00:28] | But I know it’s coming, and it’s gonna be bad. | 但我知道我就快拉了 而且不会很顺畅 |
| [00:31] | Four trains arriving in the station at once. | 就像四辆火车同时进站一样 |
| [00:33] | Ooh, sorry I’m late. | 抱歉我迟到了 |
| [00:36] | I was at the gym trying to work off some of this meat, | 我刚在健身房消化牛肉 |
| [00:38] | and I met a new girlfriend. | 新交了一个好基友 |
| [00:40] | I knew it. I called lesbo three months ago. | 我就知道 仨月前我就管她叫女同了 |
| [00:43] | I’d have 20 bucks if I’d gotten any takers. | 要是打赌 老娘都赢20块了 |
| [00:46] | No, you wouldn’t have, because she’s just a friend. | 你赢不了 因为她只是个朋友 |
| [00:48] | Which I desperately need. | 我急需朋友 |
| [00:50] | Especially after I found out my Internet friend Cassandra | 特别是在我发现网友卡桑德拉 |
| [00:53] | doesn’t actually exist. | 并不存在以后 |
| [00:54] | Hey, I was just trying to help. | 人家只是想帮帮你嘛 |
| [00:57] | Oh! That’s Rachel calling right now. | 瑞秋给我打电话了 |
| [01:00] | Isn’t she pretty? | 大美人儿吧 |
| [01:14] | What the hell is wrong with you people? | 你们这帮人吃错药了吗 |
| [01:16] | I’m sorry. When I panic, I throw things. | 抱歉 我一紧张就乱扔东西 |
| [01:19] | Your new friend is my ex-girlfriend. | 你的新朋友是我前女友 |
| [01:22] | I was 18. | 当年我18岁 |
| [01:23] | I had just come out of my goth phase | 刚刚走出哥特阶段 |
| [01:24] | and was thinking of going to college. | 正考虑着上大学的事 |
| [01:26] | So I drove out to one, thinking if I didn’t end up going, | 我开车去了所大学 寻思着就算最后没上成 |
| [01:28] | 餐饮处 罐头爱心补给 | |
| [01:29] | I could still say I went to college | 别人问起时 我也能说去过大学 |
| [01:30] | and hope the questions ended there. | 但别再问下去就好 |
| [01:35] | I’d like some pork and beans, please. | 请给我来点猪肉和甜豆 |
| [01:38] | You’re funny. | 你真有趣 |
| [01:40] | Wait, we’re not actually here to feed students. | 我们其实不是为学生提供餐饮的 |
| [01:42] | I’m not a student. | 我不是学生 |
| [01:43] | No, I was thinking of becoming a student, | 我本来想做学生的 |
| [01:46] | but now that I’ve seen everyone in their fancy horsey guy shirts, | 但看到这儿的每个人都衣着光鲜 |
| [01:50] | I’m thinking maybe I’ll just take my pork and beans | 就想着不然领个罐头 |
| [01:53] | and be on my way. | 回家得了 |
| [01:53] | Well, you don’t have to be rich. | 你不必有钱啊 |
| [01:55] | You know, a lot of people get here just by being smart. | 很多人来这儿仅仅依靠聪明才智 |
| [01:58] | Strike two. Beans, please. | 又打击我 还是来罐甜豆吧 |
| [02:00] | Here. But I don’t think you should give up on yourself so easily. | 给 但我觉得你不该就此放弃 |
| [02:04] | You’re an underdog. | 你是个弱者 |
| [02:05] | Everybody loves an underdog. | 大家都爱弱者 |
| [02:08] | Especially a cute underdog. | 特别是帅气的弱者 |
| [02:16] | She’s not just Natesville hot. | 她不仅够得上纳什维尔镇花 |
| [02:18] | She’s at least Milwaukee hot. | 当密尔沃基市花都不成问题 |
| [02:20] | Yeah, I don’t know, Jimmy. | 我说不好 吉米 |
| [02:22] | Long-distance relationships aren’t such a good idea. | 异地恋不太好吧 |
| [02:25] | Plus, she’s in college. | 而且她是大学生 |
| [02:26] | And while we’ve never been, | 咱虽没上过大学 |
| [02:27] | according to college movies, things can get a little crazy. | 但电影里的大学都挺脱线的 |
| [02:30] | Put the answers to the final exam in your pouch, | 刚把期末考试答案藏进育儿袋 |
| [02:32] | next thing you know, you’re hopping away from the university police. | 眨眼就从学校保安处蹦出来了 |
| [02:36] | Am I the only one who saw Big Kangaroo on Campus? | 你们都没看过《校园袋鼠》吗 |
| [02:36] | 伯特自编的 但有部叫《校园野狼》的电视剧 | |
| [02:41] | Well, me and Rachel are gonna work, | 我和瑞秋一定会顺利的 |
| [02:42] | because I am gonna see her every chance I get. | 因为我一逮着机会就会去见她 |
| [02:48] | And I did. | 我没说大话 |
| [02:49] | I went to see her every single weekend. | 我每周末都去见她 |
| [02:54] | Everything was going along great until Uncle Jonas died. | 乔纳斯叔叔去世前 一切都顺风顺水 |
| [02:57] | But I want to go see Rachel, not watch Maw Maw. | 我想见瑞秋 不是曾奶奶 |
| [03:00] | Life is so unfair. | 生活真不公平 |
| [03:02] | Uncle Jonas gets stomach cancer, | 乔纳斯叔叔得胃癌 |
| [03:04] | and now I’m the one who has to suffer. | 痛苦的却是我 |
| [03:06] | Stop being so selfish. | 别这么自私 |
| [03:08] | Your mother just lost a member of her family. | 你妈刚失去一位家人 |
| [03:17] | And now it starts to get interesting. | 这下可好玩了 |
| [03:22] | Since I couldn’t go see Rachel, | 由于不能去见瑞秋 |
| [03:24] | I tried to send her something special every day. | 我就每天变着法送她东西 |
| [03:38] | But none of my gifts could make up for the distance. | 但我的礼物还是输给了距离 |
| [03:41] | And eventually the letter my parents warned me about arrived. | 爹娘预警过的那封信还是来了 |
| [03:46] | “Dear Jimmy, there’s no easy way to say this. | “亲爱的吉米 开口很难“ |
| [03:48] | “I’ve met someone else, and I’m breaking up with you. | “但我有了新欢 要和你分手了” |
| [03:52] | “Even though you have the biggest trouser snake | “虽然你的小弟弟” |
| [03:54] | of any man I’ve ever been with.” | “是我交往过的男人中最大的” |
| [03:57] | It said that? | 她真那么说 |
| [03:58] | No, I just threw that in to make you feel better. | 那倒没有 我随口编来安慰你的 |
| [04:01] | And that sent me into a breakup funk. | 失恋使我苦闷不已 |
| [04:04] | *Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone* | *伊人离去 阴雨绵绵* |
| [04:10] | *It’s not warm when she’s away* | *伊人离去 我心戚戚* |
| [04:15] | *Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone* | *伊人离去 阴雨绵绵* |
| [04:19] | *And she’s always gone too long* | *何时归来* |
| [04:21] | *Any time she goes away* | *遥遥无期* |
| [04:27] | *Wonder this time where she’s gone* | *这次她去向何方* |
| [04:33] | *Wonder if she’s gone to stay* | *此去还有无归期* |
| [04:39] | *Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone* | *伊人离去 阴雨绵绵* |
| [04:42] | *And this house just ain’t no home* | *独守寂寞空房* |
| [04:45] | *Any time she goes away* | *心伤无所依傍* |
| [04:49] | *I know, I know, I know, I know* | *我懂 我懂 我懂* |
| [04:52] | *I know, I know, I know, I know* | *我懂 我懂 我懂* |
| [04:54] | *I know, I know, I know, I know* | *我懂 我懂 我懂* |
| [04:57] | That Rachel is a demon child from the jowls of hell. | 那个瑞秋简直就是个小恶魔 |
| [05:01] | And we don’t want her in our lives ever again. | 我们不想再和她有任何瓜葛 |
| [05:05] | Well, that’s gonna be a problem ’cause I invited her over for meat. | 那可有点难度 因为我请她来吃肉了 |
| [05:08] | Hit the deck! | 卧倒 |
| [05:12] | Maw Maw, get down. We’re hiding. | 奶奶 趴下 躲起来 |
| [05:14] | I’m 86 years old. I’ve… | 老娘86岁高龄了 |
| [05:17] | got a colon packed with meat. | 肠子里还塞满了肉 |
| [05:20] | This is gonna take me a while. | 得慢慢来呀 |
| [05:29] | Would you guys please get up? | 麻烦你们起来好吗 |
| [05:30] | Look, Rachel is great. | 瑞秋是个不错的妹子 |
| [05:33] | I’ve never had a BFF before. | 我从未有过永远的好闺蜜 |
| [05:35] | And I finally found someone | 现在终于有人 |
| [05:36] | who’s worthy of me using that ridiculous phrase. | 配得上这个怪词了 |
| [05:38] | We’re just trying to protect Jimmy. | 我们只是想保护吉米 |
| [05:39] | Obviously we care about him a little more than you do. | 显然我们比你更关心他 |
| [05:42] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [05:42] | Okay, fine. Name his top three allergies. | 行 说出他的过敏源前三名 |
| [05:46] | Trick question. | 你唬我呢 |
| [05:47] | He doesn’t have any allergies. | 他对啥都不过敏 |
| [05:48] | If I eat peanuts, I’ll die! | 我一吃花生会挂的 |
| [05:51] | That’s right. He will. | 是啊 他还真会 |
| [05:53] | Because Jimmy’s a weakling. | 因为吉米太弱啦 |
| [05:54] | His heart can’t handle seeing Rachel again. | 他的小心脏再经不起见瑞秋的冲击了 |
| [05:57] | That is why I forbid you to open that door. | 所以我不许你开门 |
| [06:00] | You can’t tell me what to do. | 你无权支配我 |
| [06:01] | And you can’t tell Jimmy what to do anymore, either. | 也不能再支配吉米了 |
| [06:03] | Look, you are not a teenager anymore. | 你已经不是青少年了 |
| [06:06] | You’re a husband and a father, | 你有妻子和孩子 |
| [06:08] | and even if no one else here believes it, | 即使这里没人相信 |
| [06:10] | I know that you are man enough to handle this. | 我也知道你是条汉子 能搞定这事 |
| [06:13] | Sabrina’s right. | 塞布丽娜说得对 |
| [06:19] | She was right about me being able to switch from baths to showers, | 她判断出了我能放弃泡澡 改为淋浴 |
| [06:22] | and she is right about this. | 这次也是对的 |
| [06:25] | I’m an adult now. | 我是成年人了 |
| [06:33] | I rang the bell so long ago, but I knew I had the right house | 我按了好久门铃 但我知道没走错 |
| [06:36] | because I could smell all the meat. | 因为能闻到肉香 |
| [06:40] | Jimmy? | 吉米 |
| [06:42] | Hello, Rachel. | 你好 瑞秋 |
| [06:45] | So, funny story: | 很不凑巧 |
| [06:47] | it turns out that my husband Jimmy is your old boyfriend. | 我老公吉米原来是你前男友 |
| [06:52] | Yeah. Oh, my God. It’s-it’s been so long. | 对 天啊 好久不见 |
| [06:55] | Yes, it has. | 的确 |
| [06:57] | Which is why I hope what I’m about to say | 所以希望你听了下面的话 |
| [06:59] | doesn’t ruin your new friendship with Sabrina. | 还能和塞布丽娜做朋友 |
| [07:01] | Jimmy, what are you doing? | 吉米 你要干什么 |
| [07:02] | Saying something that needs to be said. | 说该说的话 |
| [07:06] | When I wrote this seven years ago, | 七年前 我写下这个 |
| [07:08] | I wanted to make sure that if I ever ran into you, | 是为了日后遇见你时 |
| [07:10] | you would know exactly how I felt when you dumped me. | 让你清楚地知道我被你甩掉的感受 |
| [07:12] | “I thought that everything was going to be great between us. | 我原以为我们会是天作之合 |
| [07:15] | Then, all of a sudden, it was gone. | 结果突然之间 什么都没了 |
| [07:17] | If our relationship was a hit new movie, | 如果把我们的恋情比作一部大热电影 |
| [07:20] | it would be called Crash.” | 那就是《撞车》 |
| [07:22] | Wh-When I wrote this, uh, seven years ago, | 七年前我写下这个时 |
| [07:24] | that movie had just won the Academy Award. | 那部电影刚获得奥斯卡金像奖 |
| [07:25] | Never saw it, but I heard it was good. | 我没看过 但听说不错 |
| [07:28] | Uh, da-da-da-da, let me see, | 还有还有 我看看 |
| [07:30] | a couple of Hurricane Katrina references. | 那什么 卡特里娜飓风 |
| [07:33] | Uh… Osama Bin Laden is dead now, | 本·拉登死了 |
| [07:36] | so that doesn’t work. | 所以这些梗现在不能用了 |
| [07:38] | This is really catching me off guard. | 这也太突然了 |
| [07:39] | I… I don’t even know what to say. I mean… | 不知道该说些什么 |
| [07:45] | Well, I see you’re still cozy with Lance and Sally. | 看来你跟兰斯和萨莉的关系还是很好 |
| [07:48] | I am so embarrassed. | 太尴尬了 |
| [07:51] | I have been calling them Burt and Virginia for like 30 years. | 30年了 我一直叫他们伯特和维吉妮亚 |
| [07:57] | Oh, my God… | 神啊 |
| [07:59] | Wait a second. | 等等 |
| [08:01] | You know them? | 你认识他们吗 |
| [08:02] | Yeah, I know them. | 对啊 认识 |
| [08:03] | They’re the whole reason we broke up. | 我们分手都是他们害的 |
| [08:05] | Mom! Dad! | 爸 妈 |
| [08:11] | Oh, look, Sally. | 看啊 萨莉 |
| [08:12] | It’s Rachel. | 是瑞秋 |
| [08:19] | I don’t believe this! | 不敢相信 |
| [08:22] | Okay, let us explain. | 听我们解释 |
| [08:23] | It’s not what you think. | 不是你想的那样 |
| [08:26] | Jimmy was interested in girls at a very young age. | 吉米很小就开始对女生感兴趣 |
| [08:34] | I’m gonna give this ring to that girl over there | 我要把这枚戒指给那边的女孩 |
| [08:36] | and ask her to be my girlfriend. | 让她做我女朋友 |
| [08:39] | – Okay, good luck. – Go get ’em, tiger. | -好啊 祝你好运 -搞定她 小猛男 |
| [08:46] | Excuse me? | 打扰一下 |
| [08:47] | The problem was Jimmy liked girls that were way out of his league. | 问题是 吉米喜欢白富美 |
| [08:51] | I guess the urinal isn’t the only place he aims too high. | 估计他不只尿尿的时候好高骛远 |
| [08:56] | And sure enough, | 当然 |
| [08:57] | once she realized there were smarter, richer guys out there, | 一旦见识到高富帅 |
| [09:00] | Jimmy was kicked to the curb. | 吉米就没戏了 |
| [09:15] | And we were left to pick up the pieces. | 留下我们收拾残局 |
| [09:18] | *Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone* | *伊人离去 阴雨绵绵* |
| [09:23] | *It’s not warm when she’s away* | *伊人离去 我心戚戚* |
| [09:29] | *Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone* | *伊人离去 阴雨绵绵* |
| [09:33] | *And she’s always gone too long* | *何时归来* |
| [09:35] | *Any time she goes away* | *遥遥无期* |
| [09:40] | *Wonder this time where she’s gone* | *这次她去向何方* |
| [09:46] | *Wonder if she’s gone to stay* | *此去还有无归期* |
| [09:52] | *Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone* | *伊人离去 阴雨绵绵* |
| [09:55] | *And this house just ain’t no home* | *独守寂寞空房* |
| [09:58] | *Any time she goes away* | *心伤无所依傍* |
| [10:02] | *I know, I know, I know* | *我懂 我懂 我懂* |
| [10:04] | Close your eyes. | 闭上眼睛 |
| [10:05] | *I know, I know, I know, I know* | *我懂 我懂 我懂* |
| [10:09] | I finally got him to go to sleep. | 终于让他睡下了 |
| [10:12] | Poor little guy’s heart is broken. | 可怜的孩子心都碎了 |
| [10:15] | Just broken. | 碎了一地 |
| [10:18] | Burt, I’m talking about our son. | 伯特 我在说我们儿子呢 |
| [10:21] | – How can you… – Don’t look at me. | -你怎么… -别看我 |
| [10:24] | Are you crying? | 你哭了 |
| [10:25] | His tiny heart is shattered. | 他幼小的心灵碎成了渣渣 |
| [10:28] | It’s making me so sad. | 我好伤心 |
| [10:31] | So… | 好… |
| [10:36] | …sad. | 伤心 |
| [10:38] | I know. | 我懂 |
| [10:42] | I hate this. | 我讨厌这样 |
| [10:44] | I hate being so sad. | 我讨厌这么难过 |
| [10:48] | We can’t ever let this happen to us again. | 我们不能再让这种事发生了 |
| [10:51] | – Promise? – I… | -你保证吗 -我… |
| [10:55] | I promise. | 我保证 |
| [10:57] | Knowing we couldn’t take seeing Jimmy get his heart broken ever again, | 我们不忍心再看吉米心碎 |
| [11:01] | we made sure he stayed away from women that were out of his league. | 所以我们要确保白富美都离他远远的 |
| [11:04] | Mommy, this is Tracy. | 妈咪 她是特蕾西 |
| [11:06] | She’s really smart. | 她好聪明 |
| [11:07] | She helped me with my letters, | 她辅导我学字母 |
| [11:09] | and she taught me that boogers aren’t food. | 还告诉我鼻屎不能吃 |
| [11:15] | Thanks for coming over. | 谢谢你来 |
| [11:16] | Most kids don’t want to be friends with Jimmy. | 大多数孩子都不愿和吉米交朋友 |
| [11:18] | I don’t know if it’s because he has cooties | 不知道是因为他身上有虱子 |
| [11:20] | or because I’m a witch who eats children. | 还是因为我是吃孩子的巫婆 |
| [11:28] | And it didn’t stop when Jimmy became a teenager. | 这一直延续到吉米的青少年时代 |
| [11:30] | – Hello? – Is Jimmy there? | -你好 -吉米在吗 |
| [11:32] | Oh, hi, Susan. | 你好 苏珊 |
| [11:34] | You’re the head cheerleader, right? | 你啦啦队队长吧 |
| [11:36] | That’s great. | 太棒了 |
| [11:38] | What’d you get on your S.A.T.’s? | 你高考多少分 |
| [11:43] | Yeah, Jimmy can’t come to the phone right now. | 吉米现在没法接电话 |
| [11:45] | He’s in the bathroom taking his, um, worm medication. | 他在浴室服驱虫药 |
| [11:50] | His underwear looks like the sidewalk after it rains. | 他的内裤像泥泞的人行道 |
| [11:53] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [11:56] | What is wrong with that boy? | 那熊孩子是怎么回事 |
| [11:57] | Right down the block, there’s that bucktoothed redhead | 街区那头明明有个疯疯癫癫的 |
| [11:59] | with the one Frankenstein shoe. | 红发龅牙妹 |
| [12:01] | She’s perfect for him. | 他俩天生一对 |
| [12:04] | We thought he had learned to leave those types of girls alone. | 我们以为他不会再招惹白富美了 |
| [12:07] | But then Jimmy met Rachel, | 结果吉米邂逅了瑞秋 |
| [12:09] | and she sounded a little too good for our taste. | 在我们看来 她有点太好了 |
| [12:11] | Me and Rachel are gonna work, | 我和瑞秋会顺利的 |
| [12:13] | because I am gonna see her every chance I get. | 因为一有机会我就会去见她 |
| [12:20] | You know we got to put a stop to this. | 我们必须出面阻止 |
| [12:22] | So we told Jimmy Uncle Jonas died | 于是我们告诉吉米 强纳斯叔叔去世了 |
| [12:24] | and that we were going to the funeral. | 我们要去参加葬礼 |
| [12:26] | But instead we went to spy on Rachel. | 但其实我们去监视瑞秋了 |
| [12:29] | We figured that since she was away at college, | 我们觉得瑞秋远在学校 |
| [12:31] | Rachel was probably already cheating on Jimmy, | 说不定早就劈腿了 |
| [12:33] | but we had to go up there and get proof. | 我们得去一趟 拿出证据来 |
| [12:36] | So to blend in, Burt and I dressed like students | 伯特和我照着电影扮成学生 |
| [12:39] | in all the college movies we saw. | 从而混入学校 |
| [12:40] | This isn’t anything like the college movies we saw. | 这和我们在电影里看到的完全不同 |
| [12:43] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [12:45] | Where’s the uptight dean and the crazy frat guys and… | 怎么不见神经质院长和疯狂的兄弟会成员 |
| [12:47] | where’s the kangaroo, for God’s sake? | 连袋鼠都没看见 |
| [12:49] | I’m pretty sure you dreamt that movie. | 那电影肯定是你梦到的 |
| [12:51] | No. Indiana Jones and the Planet of the Pickles was a dream. | 不是 《夺宝奇兵》和《泡菜星球》是梦 |
| [12:55] | I’m pretty sure this one’s real. | 这个绝对不是 |
| [12:59] | Ooh, there’s Rachel. | 瑞秋在那儿 |
| [13:00] | I recognize her from the picture. | 是照片上的女孩 |
| [13:01] | I can’t believe how hot she is. | 她居然这么辣 |
| [13:03] | I mean, the picture cut her off at the waist. | 我是说 照片上只有上半身 |
| [13:04] | I just assumed her ass ballooned out. | 我还以为她是个大屁股 |
| [13:07] | That must be the guy she’s cheating on Jimmy with! | 那个一定是第三者 |
| [13:09] | As soon as they kiss, I’ll snap a picture, and we can go home. | 他们一接吻 咱就拍照闪人 |
| [13:20] | Crap. | 见鬼 |
| [13:22] | All of a sudden, the slut gets shy? | 小贱人突然害羞了 |
| [13:23] | This could be harder than I thought. | 难度可能超出预料 |
| [13:25] | You go talk to that guy; I’ll talk to Rachel. | 你找那个男生套话 我找瑞秋 |
| [13:28] | On it. | 明白 |
| [13:36] | Excuse me. Hi. | 打扰一下 你好 |
| [13:40] | I made some terrible decisions in my youth, | 我年少时不懂事 |
| [13:42] | so I’m just now getting to college. | 所以现在才上大学 |
| [13:44] | Could you tell me where the laundry room is? | 能告诉我洗衣房在哪里吗 |
| [13:46] | Oh, um, it’s in the basement of the student union. | 在学生活动中心的地下一层 |
| [13:49] | So you have to go out the door, down the stairs, | 你出门后下楼 |
| [13:52] | past the econ building, through the quad… | 走过经济楼 穿过天井 |
| [13:54] | Whoa. Lot of college words there. | 等等 太专业了 |
| [13:56] | Yeah. Sorry. | 是啊 抱歉 |
| [13:57] | You know what? I’m actually headed that way, | 其实我也要往那边走 |
| [13:58] | so I’ll just show you. | 我带你去吧 |
| [14:00] | I’m Rachel. | 我叫瑞秋 |
| [14:02] | Sally. Nice to meet you. | 我叫萨莉 幸会 |
| [14:06] | So… | 那个 |
| [14:08] | are you hooking up with that hottie I saw you with earlier? | 你和先前那个帅哥是一对吗 |
| [14:11] | Richard? No. He’s, uh… | 你说理查德 没有 |
| [14:13] | he’s in my a capella group; we’re just friends. | 我们都是合唱队的 我们只是朋友 |
| [14:15] | Right. Where have I heard that before? | 好吧 这话真耳熟 |
| [14:17] | Oh, yeah, just from every single guy and girl | 大家都”只是朋友” |
| [14:20] | who are “friends” right before they had sex. | 接着下一秒就滚床单了 |
| [14:22] | Well, not us. | 我们可不同 |
| [14:23] | Besides, I already have a boyfriend. | 而且我有男朋友了 |
| [14:25] | He lives in Natesville, and his name is Jimmy. | 他住在纳什维尔 名叫吉米 |
| [14:30] | Jimmy from Natesville. | 纳什维尔的吉米 |
| [14:32] | Sounds like a big-nosed kid with a bad haircut | 听上去像个大鼻子 二逼头 |
| [14:34] | who wet the bed till he was seven. | 七岁才停止尿床的熊孩子 |
| [14:36] | But if that’s what you like. | 不过你喜欢就没办法了 |
| [14:41] | Hey. So, what’d you find out about Richard? | 你了解理查德多少 |
| [14:43] | He’s premed, he likes sports-scent deodorant. | 他是医学院预科生 喜欢运动型体香剂 |
| [14:46] | he’s got about 30 bucks in his wallet, | 钱包里有三十几块 |
| [14:47] | and he doesn’t lock his door. | 而且不爱锁门 |
| [14:49] | It’s obvious he and Rachel are perfect for each other. | 他和瑞秋显然是绝配 |
| [14:51] | According to his diary, | 他在日记里说 |
| [14:52] | he hates his thighs and he’s shy with women, | 他讨厌自己的大腿 不擅长和异性交往 |
| [14:54] | so it might take him a while to make his move. | 要出击可能需要时间 |
| [14:56] | Yeah, but in six months, | 但再过半年 |
| [14:57] | when he finally does make his move and he and Rachel end up together, | 等他终于追到瑞秋 |
| [15:00] | Jimmy’s heart is gonna be completely shattered, | 吉米的心会碎得连渣渣都没了 |
| [15:02] | and we’re gonna be left to pick up the pieces. | 我们还得去收拾烂摊子 |
| [15:04] | Man, we got to help Jimmy. | 天啊 我们必须拉吉米一把 |
| [15:05] | And we got to free the Burmese people from their oppressive regime. | 还要解救受压迫的缅甸人民 |
| [15:09] | After talking to Richard, I wandered into a protest. | 找过理查德后 我碰到一队游行的 |
| [15:11] | Well, his heart’s gonna get broken eventually, | 既然总是要心碎的 |
| [15:13] | so for Jimmy’s sake, we’ve got to break it now, | 我们得让吉米早死早超生 |
| [15:15] | so it doesn’t get more broken, later. | 这是为了他好 |
| [15:18] | He’s lucky he has us. | 有我们是他的福气 |
| [15:21] | So we posed as full-time students, | 于是我们全天候冒充学生 |
| [15:23] | and we found some stuff in the dorm lost-and-found | 拿上从宿舍失物招领处顺来的东西 |
| [15:25] | that helped us fit in better. | 让我们更像学生 |
| [15:31] | And to get closer to Richard and Rachel, | 为了和理查德以及瑞秋走得更近 |
| [15:33] | Burt and I joined the Cliff Notes, their a capella group. | 伯特和我加入了他们的合唱队 克利夫笔记队 |
| [15:39] | I worked on getting Rachel more interested in Richard… | 我力图增加瑞秋对理查德的好感 |
| [15:42] | Hey, guys. | 你们好 |
| [15:46] | Better not see him naked on payday. | 最好别让我看到他小弟变硬的裸体 |
| [15:50] | …while Burt worked on gently building up Richard’s confidence. | 伯特则慢慢帮理查德建立信心 |
| [15:54] | What the hell is wrong with you? | 你咋回事儿啊 |
| [15:56] | Be a man! | 男人点 |
| [15:57] | And stop letting me slap you around. | 别放任我随便扇你 |
| [15:59] | *To sell your body to the night* | *今晚让你沉醉* |
| [16:02] | *Roxanne* | *洛葛仙妮* |
| [16:05] | *Roxanne* | *洛葛仙妮* |
| [16:08] | *You don’t have to put on the red light* | *无需如此戒备* |
| [16:13] | *Put on the red light* | *如此戒备* |
| [16:16] | Meanwhile, we also had to make sure that we intercepted | 同时 我们还得确保截获 |
| [16:18] | any mail or packages that Jimmy sent Rachel, and vice versa. | 吉米和瑞秋互通的所有信件和包裹 |
| [16:21] | *Put on the red light* | *如此戒备* |
| [16:28] | *Put on the red light* | *如此戒备* |
| [16:31] | *Put on the red light* | *如此戒备* |
| [16:39] | I think somebody was checking you out during rehearsal. | 排练时好像有人向你暗送秋波哟 |
| [16:42] | Was it that creepy security guard? | 是那个变态保安吗 |
| [16:44] | My R.A. said they were gonna fire him. | 我们楼长说要炒了他 |
| [16:45] | No. Her. | 不 是她 |
| [16:48] | Behind you. | 你后面那个 |
| [16:50] | You and Richard harmonize so well together. | 你和理查德的和声好棒 |
| [16:52] | You should have sex and get married. | 你们不然滚个床单 结婚算了 |
| [16:55] | No way she’d ever be into me. | 她不可能看上我的 |
| [16:57] | Any woman would be interested in you. | 只要是个女人 都会喜欢你的 |
| [16:58] | You’re smart, you’re funny, you can sing. | 你聪明 风趣 还能歌善舞 |
| [17:01] | Unless you’re dealing with baby-sized equipment, | 只要你家老二发育正常 |
| [17:03] | you can have your pick. | 多得是美女等着你挑呢 |
| [17:04] | Sally, I told you, I’m with Jimmy. | 莎莉 都跟你说了 我已经和吉米在一起了 |
| [17:07] | You haven’t heard from him for a couple of days. | 你都已经好几天没收到他的消息了 |
| [17:09] | I’m sure he’s busy cheating on you. | 我跟你打包票 他绝对是忙着泡妞了 |
| [17:10] | I read somewhere how nine out of ten Jimmys cheat. | 十个吉米九个坏 |
| [17:13] | I don’t know, I think she just sees me more like a friend. | 我也说不好 我觉得她只是把我当朋友 |
| [17:16] | You ever seen that show Friends? | 你没看过《老友记》吗 |
| [17:17] | Everybody was hooking up. | 他们六个人不就是相互勾搭的嘛 |
| [17:19] | David Schwimmer nailed Jennifer Aniston. | 所以屌丝罗斯也能勾搭到白富美瑞秋 |
| [17:22] | Anything is possible. | 一切皆有可能 |
| [17:24] | You know what? You’re right. | 知道吗 你说的没错 |
| [17:26] | I’m gonna go for it. | 幸福是自己争取的 |
| [17:27] | Attaboy! | 好小子 |
| [17:33] | Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the hell are you doing | 喂喂喂喂喂 干什么呢 |
| [17:35] | kissing my… | 居然敢亲我的… |
| [17:36] | friend Sally? | 我的好朋友莎莉 |
| [17:38] | You told me to. | 是你让我这么做的 |
| [17:39] | You said she was checking me out during rehearsal. | 你说她排练的时候 一直对我暗送秋波 |
| [17:42] | No, I wasn’t! | 我哪有 |
| [17:43] | You… kind of were. | 是有点 |
| [17:45] | No… uh… | 没有 |
| [17:46] | You’re not even my type. | 你可不是我的菜 |
| [17:48] | Sally, you’re always talking about how hot you think Richard is. | 莎莉 你不是天天对我念叨理查德有多帅 |
| [17:51] | You are? | 真的吗 |
| [17:52] | A hot guy for you, | 是和你很配 |
| [17:55] | Rachel, not for me. | 瑞秋 跟我可不配 |
| [17:56] | We’re nothing alike. | 我们毫无共同点 |
| [17:58] | You’re rich, and I’m not. | 你是高帅富 我是穷丑搓 |
| [18:00] | That’s what I like about you. | 我就是喜欢你的朴素啊 |
| [18:02] | You’re, like, a real working-class broad. | 你就是那种真正的底层妹 |
| [18:06] | I’ll bet you’re dirty. | 绝对是个豪放女 |
| [18:13] | What the hell is going on here? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [18:16] | Uh… well, | 是这样的 |
| [18:18] | according to this bulletin board, | 公告牌上说 |
| [18:19] | um, lasagna day at the student union. | 学生会正在食堂免费发放 |
| [18:22] | “All Folked Up” is at the coffee house! | “民间传说”牌宽面条 |
| [18:24] | And somebody’s getting rid of a futon. | 还有人在处理旧蒲团 |
| [18:32] | Why do you have a backpack full of stuff from my boyfriend? | 为什么你的背包里装满了我男朋友的东西 |
| [18:35] | What? | 啥 |
| [18:36] | That’s not my bag. | 这不是我的包 |
| [18:38] | That, uh, must be your bag. | 肯定是你的包 |
| [18:40] | Oh, my God, this… | 天啊 |
| [18:42] | this is all making sense now. | 这下我懂了 |
| [18:44] | The bag of stuff from Jimmy, | 你的包里装满了吉米的东西 |
| [18:46] | you trying to get me to cheat on Jimmy with Richard, | 你坚持不懈地教唆我劈腿 勾搭理查德 |
| [18:48] | why he hasn’t called me lately. | 还有吉米多日对我不闻不问 |
| [18:50] | You’re hooking up with Jimmy, aren’t you? | 你勾搭上了吉米 是吧 |
| [18:52] | What?! | 啥 |
| [18:53] | No, that’s crazy! | 没有 这太扯了 |
| [18:55] | Trust me, I could never hook up with Jimmy. | 相信我 我绝不会勾搭吉米的 |
| [18:59] | Stop it! | 别说了 |
| [19:00] | I’m tired of all the lies, Sally! | 我受够了你的谎言 莎莉 |
| [19:03] | You’re my sister. | 你是我的妹妹 |
| [19:04] | I need you to stop lying. | 我不想看你再扯谎了 |
| [19:07] | The Indian chief who raised us | 收养我们的印第安厨师爸爸 |
| [19:09] | would want you to be honest. | 一直希望我们诚实做人 |
| [19:10] | You were raised by an Indian chief? | 你们是被印第安厨师养大的 |
| [19:11] | I am dating Jimmy. | 我是在和吉米约会 |
| [19:15] | In fact… …here’s a picture of me and Jimmy | 其实我还有一张和吉米合影的照片 |
| [19:20] | and my… brother… | 还有我的哥哥 |
| [19:22] | …and… | 以及 |
| [19:24] | our tribe’s medicine woman. | 一位我们部落的医师 |
| [19:26] | I can’t believe this. | 真是难以置信 |
| [19:27] | Well, believe it. | 行了 信了吧 |
| [19:29] | When I found out Jimmy was seeing someone else, | 当我发现吉米和别人约会的时候 |
| [19:31] | I knew I had to get her out of the way | 我就知道 必须把这个小三除掉 |
| [19:32] | so I could keep all that hot… | 这样 我才能保住我的 |
| [19:35] | Jimmy man-action to myself. | 大男子汉吉米 |
| [19:39] | You know what? | 知道不 |
| [19:40] | If you want Jimmy so bad, you can have him. | 既然你这么喜欢吉米 自己留着吧 |
| [19:43] | So I forged a breakup letter from Rachel, | 于是我就假装是瑞秋 伪造了一封分手信 |
| [19:46] | sent it off to you in the mail, and… | 寄给了你 再然后 |
| [19:49] | the rest is history. | 你都知道了 |
| [19:50] | Wait, sorry, I got lost at the beginning. | 等等 不好意思 刚开头我就听晕了 |
| [19:52] | Could you go back to when the goofy | 能重头再讲一遍吗 就从 |
| [19:54] | grocery store manager walks in? | 那个傻乎乎的杂货铺主走进门那儿说起 |
| [19:56] | He’s in this one, right? | 他也有份儿 是吧 |
| [19:58] | I can’t believe you guys. | 你们怎么能这样 |
| [19:59] | You should write a book on parenting | 你们俩应该去写一本育儿大全 |
| [20:01] | called The Opposite of What You Should Do. | 书名就叫《父母不该做的一百条》 |
| [20:03] | You should be thanking us. | 你应该感激我们才是 |
| [20:05] | If you had stayed with Rachel, | 如果你和瑞秋在一起了 |
| [20:06] | you never would’ve knocked up a serial killer | 那你就不会搞上一个连环杀手 |
| [20:08] | and married the cutest girl in the supermarket. | 然后娶到超市里最可爱的收银员 |
| [20:10] | You’re right. So I guess | 是啊 这么说 |
| [20:11] | I should just run on down to the pharmacy, | 我该跑到礼品店去 |
| [20:13] | get out a greeting card that says | 买一张感谢卡给你们 |
| [20:15] | “Thank you, parents, for secretly breaking up my relationship | 写上 谢谢爸爸妈妈 谢谢你们捧打鸳鸯 |
| [20:17] | and hoping that I’m lucky enough to stumble into something good.” | 并期望我以后能歪打正着 天上掉馅饼 |
| [20:20] | They-they do have some crazy ones now. | 礼品店现在是会卖点神经兮兮的东西 |
| [20:22] | I saw one that said, | 我就看见过这么一张卡片 |
| [20:23] | “Sorry your bird died.” | 写着”很遗憾你的鸟去世了” |
| [20:25] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [20:27] | I am out of here. You people, seriously, you’re clinically insane. | 我闪了 你们这些人绝对脑筋不正常 |
| [20:31] | Clinically insane or… | 是脑筋不正常 |
| [20:33] | clinically insane like a fox? | 脑筋转得快 |
| [20:38] | Hey, wait, this is a new marriage, okay? | 等等 我们才刚结婚 |
| [20:40] | If it doesn’t work out, I’ll call you. | 如果最后婚姻失败 我会联系你的 |
| [20:46] | I can’t believe it. | 怎么会这样呢 |
| [20:49] | She’s gone. | 她走了 |
| [20:51] | My BFF wasn’t for F. | 女人的友谊真脆弱 |
| [20:53] | Well, look at the bright side. | 听着 往好处想嘛 |
| [20:55] | Because of us, you weren’t friends for very long, | 因为我们的缘故 你们的友谊也没维持几分钟 |
| [20:58] | so even though she broke up with you, | 尽管你们分道扬镳了 |
| [20:59] | it doesn’t hurt that much. | 你也不至于伤心欲绝 |
| [21:02] | *Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone* | *伊人离去 阴雨绵绵* |
| [21:07] | Jimmy really did find the perfect girl for him. | 吉米真是找到了好老婆啊 |
| [21:10] | We did a good thing. | 我们做得没错 |
| [21:15] | *Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone* | *伊人离去 阴雨绵绵* |
| [21:18] | *And this house just ain’t no home* | *此去经年 家不是家* |
| [21:21] | *Any time she goes away* | *伊人离去 永不再回* |
| [21:27] | *I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know… * | *我懂 我懂 我懂 我懂 我懂* |