| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | Aw, look. | 快看 |
| [00:08] | I bet Grandma and Grandpa have a fun day planned for you. | 爷爷奶奶今天一定会带你玩个痛快 |
| [00:10] | No, we don’t. We can’t watch Hope. | 不 不会 我们不能照看喜旺 |
| [00:12] | In fact, you need to watch Maw Maw for us. | 而且 你需要帮我们照看曾奶奶 |
| [00:14] | Your mother and I are competing | 你妈和我要去参加 |
| [00:15] | in the Natesville Wife Carrying Competition. | 纳什维尔的扛老婆大赛 |
| [00:17] | Big Joe and his dwarf wife got divorced. | 大块头乔和他的矮鬼老婆离婚了 |
| [00:19] | So we really have a shot this year. | 所以我们今年很有希望获胜 |
| [00:20] | Come on, guys. No fair. | 不是吧 爹妈 这不公平 |
| [00:22] | I watched Maw Maw for you last weekend. | 上周末就是我替你们照看曾奶奶的 |
| [00:24] | Over the years, my parents had developed a little strategy | 多年来 我爸妈已经摸索出一套独门秘籍 |
| [00:26] | to get what they wanted. | 来达成他们的目的 |
| [00:28] | They called it | 他们称之为 |
| [00:29] | “Bad Cop, Sad Cop.” | “红脸警 白脸警” |
| [00:30] | You turn off our gas, | 你敢停我们家的煤气 |
| [00:32] | I’ll have you busted down to pumping gas. | 老娘就让你变成一个加气站的充气员 |
| [00:35] | You can’t turn off our gas. | 你不能停掉我们家的煤气 |
| [00:37] | This rotisserie chicken is barely cooked. | 这只鸡还没烤熟呢 |
| [00:39] | If we eat this, we’ll die! | 吃生肉的话 人家会死掉的 |
| [00:43] | If you don’t let us in, I’ll have you busted down | 如果你不让我们进去 我就让你从一个 |
| [00:45] | from checking credentials to checking urinal cakes. | 检票员变成”检尿员” |
| [00:49] | The Last Wish Foundation said there’d be tickets for us. | 遗愿基金会说有免费票送给我们的 |
| [01:02] | I will have you busted down | 老娘会让你从一个 |
| [01:04] | from meter maid to regular maid. | 交通女警变成一个家庭女佣 |
| [01:06] | And trust me, that is a picnic without a blanket. | 我可告诉你 干那行会穷哭你 |
| [01:10] | We’re barely 62 minutes late. | 我们也就迟到了62分钟而已 |
| [01:12] | Please, I lost my job. My dog died. | 求你了 我丢了工作 我的狗狗也死了 |
| [01:15] | My best friend didn’t make it back from the war… | 我最好的朋友上战场后再也没回来 |
| [01:17] | on obesity. | 是减肥之战 |
| [01:19] | I’m not gonna tow your car. | 我不会把你们的车拖走的 |
| [01:21] | The only thing I regret is not being able to take back that ticket. | 我只是很遗憾没办法收回那张罚单 |
| [01:28] | If you don’t watch Maw Maw, | 如果你不照顾曾奶奶 |
| [01:29] | I will bust you down to stepchild. | 老娘就把你变成继子 |
| [01:32] | And if you think you had it bad before, | 如果你觉得你之前的待遇已经够糟糕了 |
| [01:33] | you ain’t seen nothing yet. | 那是因为你还没吃过真正的苦头 |
| [01:36] | You just spit on the coffee table. | 你刚刚吐在咖啡桌上了 |
| [01:37] | Jimmy, please? | 吉米 求你了 |
| [01:39] | Business is slow. | 业务惨淡 |
| [01:40] | I have no retirement savings. | 我也没有退休储蓄 |
| [01:41] | My son’s a disappointment. | 我儿子是个废物 |
| [01:43] | Well, yes, of course. | 好吧 当然了 |
| [01:44] | I’ll-I’ll watch Maw Maw for you. | 我愿意替你们照看曾奶奶 |
| [01:47] | Great. | 太棒了 |
| [01:48] | We’ll be out late. | 我们很晚才会回来 |
| [01:49] | We totally could’ve been cops. | 我们绝对可以去当警察 |
| [01:50] | We’d clean this city up. | 保证能把市容市貌整顿得井井有条 |
| [02:03] | Hello, Chances. | 你们好啊 吉斯一家 |
| [02:08] | Thank you for meeting us at the house, Wally. | 谢谢你亲自上门拜访 沃利 |
| [02:11] | Not a problem. | 没什么 |
| [02:14] | The old voodoo woman who whitens my teeth lives around the corner. | 我刚在街角的老巫女那洗完牙 |
| [02:18] | It’s part of my makeover. | 这是我形象改造的一部分 |
| [02:19] | How old do you think I look? Whoa, whoa! | 你们觉得我看上去多大了 等等 等等 |
| [02:22] | There’s no wrong answer. | 不准说错 |
| [02:24] | – 72. – Wrong answer. | -72岁 -错 |
| [02:25] | Why are you trying to euthanize yourself? | 你干啥要这么折腾自己 |
| [02:28] | I’ve got a big case | 我手头有个大案子 |
| [02:29] | and the prosecutor has hired two young “LILFs” | 那个检察官雇了两个”美律” |
| [02:32] | to sway the jury. | 来动摇陪审团 |
| [02:35] | “Lawyers I’d Like to Frolic with.” | 美律是指”我想调戏的美女律师” |
| [02:37] | Come on, guys. It’s self-explanatory. | 不是吧 各位 这是不言自明的 |
| [02:39] | Makes sense to me. | 我能理解 |
| [02:41] | Like we knew O.J. was guilty | 我们都知道OJ辛普森是有罪的 |
| [02:42] | because Marcia Clark was so hot. | 因为玛莎·克拉克实在太性感了 |
| [02:44] | I’m not familiar with that case. | 我对那个案子不熟 |
| [02:46] | But enough small talk. | 但闲话扯够了 |
| [02:47] | I have to get to my eyebrow wax in 15 minutes. | 我15分钟后要去做蜜蜡修眉了 |
| [02:50] | What did you guys do now? | 你们这次又犯什么事了 |
| [02:51] | We didn’t do anything. | 我们可什么事都没犯 |
| [02:52] | Actually, this time, it’s me. | 实际上 这次犯事的人是我 |
| [02:55] | Oh, you are gonna have so much fun at the aquarium. | 你在水族馆一定会玩得很开心的 |
| [02:58] | All right. | 好了 |
| [02:58] | And I’ll be right here when you get back, okay? | 我就在这儿等你回来 好吗 |
| [03:01] | Oh, uh, Mrs. Chance, I’m sorry. | 吉斯太太 抱歉 |
| [03:02] | I can’t let Hope on the bus. | 我不能让喜旺上车 |
| [03:03] | Her permission slip needs to be signed by a legal guardian. | 她的同意书必须由法定监护人来签 |
| [03:06] | Oh, well, I’m married to her father, so… | 我跟她爸已经结婚了 所以没事 |
| [03:07] | No, I’m sorry. | 不 抱歉 |
| [03:08] | It’s for the kids’ safety. | 为了孩子们的安全考虑 |
| [03:10] | Really. | 真的吗 |
| [03:11] | Says the person | 你有脸说这话 |
| [03:12] | who hired the psycho with the face piercings | 你都雇了个在脸上穿孔 |
| [03:13] | and the teardrop tattoo to drive the bus? | 又搞泪痕纹身的神经病来开车呢 |
| [03:15] | That “psycho” is my husband. | 那个”神经病”是我丈夫 |
| [03:16] | And the teardrop is a tribute to the lost children of Sudan. | 那泪痕纹身是为祭奠苏丹那些惨死的孩子 |
| [03:24] | So, I would like to officially adopt Hope. | 所以 我希望能正式领养喜旺 |
| [03:28] | I see. | 我明白了 |
| [03:29] | Well, as much as I would like to handle that… | 尽管我很想接这个案子 |
| [03:33] | it’s expensive. | 但这可是很贵的 |
| [03:35] | And these two still owe me | 这两个人还欠我 |
| [03:37] | from when they sued the blue jean company | 上次状告蓝色牛仔公司 |
| [03:39] | over the “Button-fly.” | 用纽扣代替拉链一案的律师费 |
| [03:41] | Seriously, guys? | 不是吧 爹妈 |
| [03:42] | I’m a busy man | 我很忙的 |
| [03:43] | and those people have stolen minutes from my life. | 用纽扣太浪费我宝贵的时间 |
| [03:44] | I-I’m sure that they intend to pay you back… right? | 我敢肯定他们打算付你钱的 对吧 |
| [03:49] | Have you heard of something called “Burt Bucks”? | 你听说过”伯特币”吗 |
| [03:52] | Yes. | 当然 |
| [03:53] | I’m the one that got you off the counterfeiting charge. | 我就是那个让你摆脱伪造罪名的律师 |
| [03:56] | You didn’t pay me for that either. | 那个案子你也没付我钱 |
| [03:57] | Well, sorry, Sabrina. | 我很遗憾 塞布丽娜 |
| [03:59] | I guess you’ll never be Hope’s real mom. | 我看你永远做不了喜旺的合法母亲了 |
| [04:00] | We tried. | 我们尽力了 |
| [04:01] | Wait, I’m starting to think | 等等 我刚刚突然想到 |
| [04:03] | that one hot, young stud might not be enough | 一个年轻性感的种马或许不足以 |
| [04:06] | to win this case. | 赢下此案 |
| [04:07] | So, I’ll do the adoption, | 我可以接领养案 |
| [04:08] | if you two sit at my table as extra eye candy. | 除非你们愿意坐在我旁边 扮演美丽的花瓶 |
| [04:13] | It would be so fun to pretend to be lawyers. | 假扮律师肯定会超有趣的 |
| [04:16] | I could be just like the one | 或许我可以像艾丽·麦克比尔 |
| [04:17] | Ally McBeal played on that show. | 在《甜心俏佳人》中的角色一样 |
| [04:18] | I could be like that cool army guy on JAG. | 我可以像《执法悍将》中的那个军人一样 |
| [04:21] | I’ve always wanted an excuse to wear white pants. | 我一直想找个借口穿白裤子 |
| [04:24] | We’ll do it. | 我们愿意 |
| [04:24] | With you two lookers, | 有了你们这绿叶的陪衬 |
| [04:26] | I won’t need this anymore. | 我就不需要打扮了 |
| [04:28] | Now… | 现在 |
| [04:29] | if one of you wouldn’t mind helping me… | 你们谁能不能帮我 |
| [04:31] | pull off this tape. | 把这块胶带扯掉 |
| [04:42] | With Wally on board, we could finally | 有沃利在 我们终于可以 |
| [04:44] | make the adoption official. | 把领养手续办下来了 |
| [04:46] | How about a little more teeth? | 多露出一点牙齿 |
| [04:50] | Perfect. | 完美 |
| [04:51] | Cool, we get an official picture. | 太棒了 我们可以拍一张正式照片呢 |
| [04:53] | Next. | 下一位 |
| [04:54] | That’s us. | 到我们了 |
| [04:55] | Here you go. | 请收好 |
| [04:59] | Okay, bye. | 好了 再见 |
| [05:01] | I… I thought you were gonna | 我 我以为你会 |
| [05:04] | swear us in. | 让我们宣誓 |
| [05:04] | This isn’t an inauguration. | 这不是个就职仪式 |
| [05:06] | We’ll just get to the picture then. | 那我们就拍照片好了 |
| [05:08] | This camera’s only for official business. | 这个相机只用作公事用 |
| [05:10] | No, I just officially adopted this little girl, so… | 不 我刚刚正式领养了这个小女孩 所以 |
| [05:13] | For official hunting licenses. | 这个相机只是给官方打猎许可证使用的 |
| [05:15] | Squab season starts tomorrow. | 明天开始就是乳鸽的季节了 |
| [05:17] | Great, then we’ll take one family hunting license, please. | 很好 那我们就申请一个全家的打猎许可证 |
| [05:20] | Are you going to go squab hunting? | 你要去打乳鸽吗 |
| [05:22] | Yes, you know what? Yes. | 是 你没听错 |
| [05:24] | Here, come on. | 来这 |
| [05:27] | My family and I would like | 我们全家想要 |
| [05:28] | one license to kill whatever a squab is. | 申请一个打乳鸽许可证 老娘才不管乳鸽是啥 |
| [05:30] | I don’t issue licenses to non-hunters. | 我不给不打猎的人签发许可证的 |
| [05:32] | It cheapens it. | 这样搞会让打猎证跌价的 |
| [05:33] | Come on, honestly. | 别这样嘛 说真的 |
| [05:35] | How hard is it really to just, like, | 这对你来说能有多难啊 |
| [05:37] | click your little button and take a picture | 不就按下按钮给我们 |
| [05:39] | of me and my family? | 拍张照片嘛 |
| [05:41] | You know, I-I got a camera on my phone. | 对了 我手机可以拍照啊 |
| [05:43] | We could just take a picture outside. | 我们可以就在外面拍张照片 |
| [05:44] | They got a-a nice rosebush, and that-that statue | 他们有个漂亮的蔷薇丛 还有那个 |
| [05:47] | of that blind woman holding weights. | 一个瞎女人托着重物的雕像 |
| [05:50] | It just… | 只是 |
| [05:53] | Oh, someone’s adopting a puppy. | 噢 你领养了一只小狗 |
| [05:55] | I’ve got to get a picture of this. | 我一定要拍张照片才行 |
| [05:57] | Oh, come on! | 哇靠 |
| [05:59] | Really? | 搞毛啊 |
| [06:03] | This Polish gentlemen said, | 那个波兰绅士说道 |
| [06:05] | “I didn’t know it was a penis.” | 我不知道那是个小丁丁 |
| [06:07] | Hold for laughter. | 不要笑 |
| [06:08] | Salute jury. | 先向陪审团行礼 |
| [06:10] | I saw this lawyer at a trial in Florida | 我在佛罗里达碰到这个律师 |
| [06:14] | open with a knock-knock joke. | 在法庭上以一个敲门笑话开头 |
| [06:16] | Trust me. | 相信我 |
| [06:17] | It killed. | 效果赞爆了 |
| [06:18] | How about when you say, “He’s not guilty,” | 这样如何 当你说”他无罪”时 |
| [06:21] | I’ll try to get the whole courtroom to say, | 我试着让法庭上所有人说 |
| [06:23] | “How not guilty is he?” | “他哪里无罪啊” |
| [06:25] | No, no, no, no. You-you say nothing. | 不 不 不 不 你什么也别说 |
| [06:27] | But we stayed up all night watching Matlock. | 但我们昨天一整晚都在看《大律师迈拉克》 |
| [06:30] | Burt does a great Southern lawyer. | 伯特学南部律师很像的 |
| [06:32] | My name is Brown. | 我叫布朗 |
| [06:34] | And I am against this board of education. | 我反对这个学校董事会 |
| [06:37] | I admire your commitment. | 我佩服你所做的努力 |
| [06:39] | But I also know how difficult it is | 但我也知道对你来说 |
| [06:41] | for you to button your fly. | 穿带纽扣门襟的裤子有多难 |
| [06:43] | Therefore, | 所以 |
| [06:44] | you-you stay quiet. | 你闭嘴就好 |
| [07:00] | My God. | 我的天 |
| [07:04] | She’s got one good-looking posse. | 她有两个漂亮的手下 |
| [07:07] | All right, just like we practiced. | 好了 就跟我们排练的一样 |
| [07:11] | – Counselor. – Counselor. | -法律顾问你好 -法律顾问你好 |
| [07:19] | Okay. | 行了 |
| [07:22] | Game on. | 游戏开始了 |
| [07:25] | Wow, that took a lot out of me. | 天 刚刚那下累死我了 |
| [07:28] | Being a lawyer’s a lot harder than I thought. | 当律师比我想得难多了 |
| [07:30] | Now I know why they charge by the hour. | 现在我明白他们为啥按小时计费了 |
| [07:33] | That was only, like, 30 seconds. | 刚刚那下才 30秒左右吧 |
| [07:35] | I’m exhausted. | 我就累坏了 |
| [07:39] | So, I’d been in labor for four hours | 我分娩了四个小时 |
| [07:40] | and it’s pouring rain outside. | 外面还下着大雨 |
| [07:42] | But right then when my Skylar was born, | 但就在我的斯凯拉出生的那个瞬间 |
| [07:44] | a ray of light came through the window. | 一道闪电划过窗户 |
| [07:46] | I know exactly what you’re talking about. | 我完全可以理解你所说的 |
| [07:51] | What was it like when you first saw Hope? | 当你第一次看到喜旺时 你什么感觉 |
| [07:52] | It was really… | 那真的很 |
| [07:54] | magical. | 神奇 |
| [07:55] | Giving birth to Hope was | 生喜旺可能是 |
| [07:57] | probably the best thing I ever did with my life. | 我这辈子做过最棒的事情了 |
| [08:00] | Really I was just lucky | 真的 我只是非常幸运 |
| [08:01] | that Jimmy was there to help me push it out of my body. | 能有吉米在旁帮我把喜旺拖出来 |
| [08:05] | You guys took baby classes? | 你们俩上过育婴课吗 |
| [08:06] | Yeah, we took, uh, two years. | 当然 我们上了 两年课 |
| [08:09] | Jimmy and I were very, | 我跟吉米 |
| [08:10] | very serious about baby birth. | 都把生孩子看得很重要 |
| [08:18] | First, she seemed upset that the adoption | 首先 当发现领养小孩不过是盖几个章时 |
| [08:20] | was just a rubber stamp. | 她应该觉得很不爽 |
| [08:22] | Then, next thing I know, | 接着 我知道的第二件事是 |
| [08:23] | she’s saying she breast-fed Hope | 她说自己用母乳喂养喜旺 |
| [08:25] | two gallons of milk a day. | 一天两加仑[相当于7.5升] |
| [08:26] | Now, I am no expert. | 我不是专家 |
| [08:28] | But this seems like a lot for a 95-pound woman. | 但这个量对一个95磅重的女人太多了吧 |
| [08:31] | Maybe Sabrina feels like she missed out | 塞布丽娜可能觉得自己错过了 |
| [08:33] | on the whole “Having a baby” Part of motherhood. | 母性中整个生孩子的部分吧 |
| [08:35] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [08:36] | To us, giving birth just seems like | 对于我们来说 生小孩不过是 |
| [08:39] | a painful, disgusting, | 一个痛苦的 恶心的 |
| [08:42] | cruel joke of biology. | 残忍的生物学玩笑 |
| [08:44] | But to women, it’s their Super Bowl. | 但对于女人来说 那就是他们的”超级碗”啊 |
| [08:46] | When my non-birth mother was feeling the way Sabrina is, | 当我的继母跟塞布丽娜有同样的想法时 |
| [08:49] | my other mother got the ladies from her rugby team together | 我另一个妈会把她橄榄球队的女孩叫到一起 |
| [08:51] | and they threw her a rebirthing ceremony. | 她们会给我继母举办一个再生仪式的 |
| [08:54] | Where do you go for that? | 你到底想表达什么 |
| [08:55] | Well, my moms went to a bar | 我的妈妈们去佛蒙特州 |
| [08:57] | in Vermont called Saloon B. Anthony. | 一个叫”安东尼沙龙”的酒吧 |
| [08:58] | But you could do it yourself. | 但你可以自己来嘛 |
| [09:00] | How am I supposed to do a rebirthing? | 我自己怎么做一个再生仪式啊 |
| [09:02] | I’ve never even seen an actual birth. | 我还从来没有看过真正的生产呢 |
| [09:03] | Hope was born in a jail. | 喜旺是在监狱里出生的 |
| [09:04] | Frank and I could help you. | 我跟弗兰克可以帮你 |
| [09:05] | Oh, yeah, totally. | 哦 当然 |
| [09:07] | Rebirthing ceremonies are simple. | 再生仪式很简单 |
| [09:11] | Sometimes insomnia can drive a man | 你懂的 有时失眠症会驱使 |
| [09:13] | to the deep dark corners of the Internet. | 一个人进入网络深处阴暗的角落的 |
| [09:17] | That is when the Polish man said, | 那个波兰人说 |
| [09:19] | “I didn’t know it was a penis.” | “我不知道那是个小丁丁” |
| [09:22] | She stole my joke! | 她偷了我的笑话 |
| [09:24] | My entire opening argument | 我整个开场白都是 |
| [09:26] | was built on that joke! | 基于这个笑话的 |
| [09:27] | …the only thing that you’ll come to realize… | 你们将要发现的唯一一件事情 |
| [09:31] | is… | 就是 |
| [09:32] | that man, | 那个男人 |
| [09:33] | Bobby Bowman, | 鲍比·保曼 |
| [09:34] | is a moped thief. | 是个偷电动车的贼 |
| [09:36] | And I will prove that to you | 我会跟你们证明 |
| [09:38] | beyond a shadow of a doubt. | 这事儿简直就是不言自明 |
| [09:40] | Mr. Phipps, your opening statement? | 菲普斯先生 你可以开始了 |
| [09:44] | I have an even better opening joke. | 我有个更好的开场笑话 |
| [09:48] | But before I tell it, | 但在我说之前 |
| [09:50] | have any of you ever been molested by a clown? | 问下你们之间有谁被小丑调戏过吗 |
| [10:01] | I’ve got nothing. | 我没什么好说的了 |
| [10:02] | You can do this. | 你办得到的 |
| [10:04] | Remember, you don’t have to be that good | 记住 你没必要说得那么好 |
| [10:06] | because we’re that beautiful. | 因为我们是如此漂亮 |
| [10:14] | Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, | 尊敬的陪审团 |
| [10:16] | me and my… | 我跟我的 |
| [10:18] | noticeably handsome colleagues | 引人注目 帅气逼人的同事 |
| [10:23] | have over 1,000 years of law school between the three of us. | 有超过1000年的法学院学习经验 |
| [10:28] | I dare you to not be | 我敢打赌你们 |
| [10:30] | both intellectually | 在被他们的美貌所迷惑时 |
| [10:32] | and physically aroused. | 智商肯定会跟不上 |
| [10:37] | Nothing more, Your Honor… | 我说完了 法官大人 |
| [10:39] | …because all I see are stars. | 因为我眼前全是星星 |
| [10:47] | How not guilty is he? | 他怎么可能是无罪的 |
| [10:57] | Don’t worry, I’m not gonna die. | 别担心 我死不了 |
| [10:59] | I have it on the authority of a very reputable fortune teller | 有个神准的预言家告诉我 |
| [11:03] | that I would live to be… | 我能活到… |
| [11:06] | Wait, how old am I? | 等等 我多大了 |
| [11:10] | Well, at least our careers as pretend lawyers | 至少在我们伪装律师的职业生涯中 |
| [11:13] | are ending without us ever losing a case. | 还没输过一场官司 |
| [11:15] | I’m really gonna miss these glasses. | 我会想念这副眼镜的 |
| [11:17] | They make me feel so smart. | 它让我觉得我是文化人 |
| [11:18] | Wait, you guys cannot go. | 你们不能走啊 |
| [11:20] | I can’t afford another lawyer. | 我可没钱再请其他律师了 |
| [11:22] | We really want to help, but… | 我们真的很想帮你 但是 |
| [11:24] | we’re not the kind of lawyers you think we are. | 我们不是你以为的那种律师 |
| [11:26] | Okay, so what’s your specialty? | 那你们擅长打什么官司 |
| [11:28] | Cases with special victims, | 受害人很特殊的 |
| [11:30] | criminals with intent. | 蓄意伤害之类的 |
| [11:31] | You know, ripped from the headlines kind of stuff. | 你知道 上头条的那种 |
| [11:34] | Okay, look, I’m innocent. | 我是无辜的 |
| [11:36] | All right, you guys are my only hope. | 只有你们能救我了 |
| [11:38] | This is serious. | 这是玩真的 |
| [11:39] | He needs us. | 他需要我们 |
| [11:40] | I know, but we can’t do this. | 我知道 但我们帮不了 |
| [11:41] | We’re in way over our heads. | 超出我们的脑力了 |
| [11:43] | You know who else was in over her head? | 知道她脑子里还有什么吗 |
| [11:45] | Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde, | 《律政俏佳人》里的瑞茜·威瑟斯彭 |
| [11:47] | and she never gave up. | 她从不放弃 |
| [11:48] | Neither did the dog lawyer in Chihuahua Attorney: | 还有《吉娃娃律师所》里的狗律师 |
| [11:50] | Justice Bites. | 正义之咬 |
| [11:51] | And if that dog can win a case against the Supreme Court, | 如果那狗能打赢最高法院 |
| [11:54] | we can do this. | 我们也能做到 |
| [11:57] | Your Highness, | 法官大人 |
| [11:58] | we’d like to continue on without Mr. Phipps. | 即使菲普斯先生不在 我们也想继续下 |
| [12:00] | Just be prepared to keep us on a short leash, | 请对我们要求松一点 |
| [12:03] | but ultimately, you’ll see where we’re going | 但您最后一定会明白我们的意思 |
| [12:05] | with this and allow it. | 并且同意我们的观点 |
| [12:09] | Just a few more steps. | 还有几步 |
| [12:10] | Ooh, please be a tetherball, please be a tetherball. | 拜托是绳球 拜托是绳球 |
| [12:15] | Everything about this scares me. | 吓死我了 |
| [12:17] | Jimmy, what the hell is going on? | 吉米 这是搞什么 |
| [12:18] | It’s a rebirthing ceremony. | 是新生仪式 |
| [12:20] | Surprise! | 惊喜吧 |
| [12:21] | We’re going to simulate childbirth | 我们要模仿分娩 |
| [12:22] | so you can feel like a real mom. | 让你体验一把做妈妈的感觉 |
| [12:24] | Welcome to your Super Bowl. | 欢迎来到你的超级碗 |
| [12:27] | Jimmy, why would you do this? | 吉米 你为什么要这么做 |
| [12:28] | Because you seemed so upset at City Hall | 在市政厅的时候他们没把我们的领养当回事 |
| [12:30] | when they didn’t make a big deal out of the adoption. | 我看你有点生气 |
| [12:32] | I thought that, you know, you wanted more | 就觉得你需要更多 |
| [12:34] | of a motherhood moment. | 做母亲的感觉 |
| [12:35] | No, I-I just was upset about the bureaucracy of it. | 我只是气他们的官僚作风 |
| [12:37] | Like, why should a squab killer get a photo and we don’t? | 凭什么又矮又胖的猎鸽犯能拍照 我们却不能 |
| [12:40] | Why did you lie to the mothers of Skylar and Skylar? | 那你为什么要骗斯凯拉和他的妈妈们 |
| [12:42] | I mean, I heard you telling them | 我是说 我听到你跟他们说 |
| [12:43] | that you gave birth to Hope. | 喜旺是你亲生的 |
| [12:45] | – Oh, you heard that? – Yeah. | -你听到了 -对 |
| [12:46] | The other moms were talking about their baby stories, | 其他妈妈都在说自己宝宝的故事 |
| [12:48] | and I just didn’t feel like getting | 我感觉自己都没怎么参与过 |
| [12:50] | into the whole thing about Hope. | 喜旺的出生和成长 |
| [12:51] | It’s not a big deal, it’s just… | 没什么大不了的 只是 |
| [12:53] | Sometimes I lie when it’s easier than telling the truth. | 我说谎是因为有时说谎比坦白容易 |
| [12:56] | Look, I’m all right if we don’t do this, | 不做这个仪式我无所谓 |
| [12:58] | but there was another person helping. | 但还有一个帮忙的人 |
| [13:05] | She’s been practicing all day. | 她都排练了一天了 |
| [13:08] | What the heck? | 搞毛啊 |
| [13:09] | All right, fine. | 好吧 |
| [13:10] | Then let’s get to it because… | 那咱开始吧 因为 |
| [13:13] | …your water just broke. | 你的羊水刚破了 |
| [13:16] | Mr. Lennox, would you point to the man | 伦诺克斯先生 你能指出 |
| [13:18] | you saw steal your moped? | 偷你电动车的那个人吗 |
| [13:21] | Bend down and tie your shoe. | 弯腰系鞋带 |
| [13:22] | I’m pretty sure he’d just point lower. | 我确定他也会把手放低的 |
| [13:24] | Let the record show that Mr. Lennox | 请记录 伦诺克斯先生 |
| [13:26] | pointed to the defendant. | 指向了被告 |
| [13:39] | That didn’t work. | 没用 |
| [13:40] | Do that “Withdrawn” trick they do on Law and Order. | 玩《法律与秩序》里的”我收回”那招 |
| [13:42] | Yeah, yeah. | 对对 |
| [13:46] | Mr. Lennox, | 伦诺克斯先生 |
| [13:48] | is it true that you decapitate puppies as a hobby? | 你的爱好是斩掉狗狗的头 这是真的吗 |
| [13:51] | Withdrawn. | 我收回 |
| [13:53] | Weren’t you a member of the Taliban? | 你是塔利班的成员吧 |
| [13:55] | Withdrawn. | 我收回 |
| [13:57] | A pedophile? Withdrawn. | 你有恋童癖 我收回 |
| [13:59] | A thief? Withdrawn. | 是个贼 我收回 |
| [14:01] | Defecated in an avocado field? | 曾在鳄梨园里大便 |
| [14:04] | Withdrawn. | 我收回 |
| [14:05] | Mr. Chance, enough of this. | 吉斯先生 你够了啊 |
| [14:07] | Damn Law and Order | 尼玛《法律与秩序》 |
| [14:08] | ruined an entire generation of lawyers. | 把一代律师全给毁了 |
| [14:11] | I’m calling a recess. | 休庭 |
| [14:15] | Ooh, recess. | 休庭耶 |
| [14:17] | Maybe it would be good for us to go outside | 出去溜达十分钟 |
| [14:18] | and run around for about ten minutes. | 应该不错 |
| [14:25] | Okay, contractions are starting. | 好了 开始宫缩 |
| [14:28] | You gonna go natural or you want some drugs? | 你想自然分娩还是打麻药 |
| [14:30] | Wait, do you actually have drugs? | 等等 你们真有麻药吗 |
| [14:31] | There’s no time for drugs! | 没时间打麻药了 |
| [14:33] | This baby’s coming! | 宝宝要出来了 |
| [14:34] | Brace yourselves. | 勇敢一点 |
| [14:35] | Breathe, Sabrina. | 呼吸 塞布丽娜 |
| [14:36] | Come on, baby, you can do it. | 亲爱的加油 你可以的 |
| [14:39] | This is actually kind of exciting, Jimmy. | 还真有点激动 吉米 |
| [14:41] | Yeah, your breathing is great. | 呼吸得很好 |
| [14:43] | Now, pick a focal point and stare at it. | 找准一个点 然后盯着它 |
| [14:46] | Yeah, I read a book. | 厉害吧 我看过专业书 |
| [14:49] | I’m really glad we didn’t take those drugs. | 我很庆幸没打麻药 |
| [14:50] | I feel like it’s really important | 因为亲身感受这个过程 |
| [14:52] | for me to be present through this. | 对我来说真的很重要 |
| [14:53] | When this is over, I call dibs on the faux-gina. | 做完这个 我就成人造阴道领域的权威了 |
| [14:55] | I want to do more of these for deserving barren couples. | 我要多帮助那些不孕不育的夫妻 |
| [15:00] | Okay, here we go. | 好了 来吧 |
| [15:02] | – We are having a baby! – I know! | -我们要有宝宝了 -我知道 |
| [15:06] | But soon, right? | 快点好吗 |
| [15:06] | ‘Cause I feel like she’s been in that tube for a while. | 她在管子里待了有一会儿了吧 |
| [15:08] | Mommy, I’m stuck! | 妈咪 我卡住了 |
| [15:10] | What? | 什么 |
| [15:11] | Wait, how can she be stuck? | 她怎么会被卡住 |
| [15:12] | In the spirit of realism, | 实事求是地说 |
| [15:13] | someone may have stuffed the tube with spaghetti. | 管子可能被人用意面塞满了 |
| [15:15] | What? Why would you do something like that? | 什么 为什么要这么做 |
| [15:17] | Before we start Monday morning quarterbacking, | 在马后炮之前 我提醒一下 |
| [15:20] | just remember we threw this together in an afternoon. | 这主意是我们一起在一个下午里想出来的 |
| [15:23] | Hope, hang on. | 喜旺 撑住 |
| [15:24] | Daddy’s coming. | 爸比来了 |
| [15:26] | And so I looked out the window, | 于是我从窗户望出去 |
| [15:27] | and that’s when I saw him steal my moped. | 就看到他在偷我的电动车 |
| [15:32] | And when was the last time that window was cleaned? | 你最后一次擦窗户是什么时候 |
| [15:35] | The window was open. | 窗户是开着的 |
| [15:36] | That’s very convenient. | 那倒是非常方便 |
| [15:39] | Let the record show | 请记录 |
| [15:41] | that that was very convenient. | 那真是非常方便 |
| [15:47] | We’re screwed. We’ve tried every legal maneuver | 完了 电视里的各种法律手段我们都用尽了 |
| [15:49] | we’ve ever seen on Law and Order, Boston Legal, | 包括《法律与秩序》《波士顿法律》 |
| [15:52] | even that episode of Facts of Life | 还有《生活的真相》 |
| [15:53] | where Tootie got racially profiled. | 托蒂被种族归纳的那集 |
| [15:55] | That guy is totally lying. | 那家伙根本就是在撒谎 |
| [15:56] | I don’t know whether to scream or cry. | 我都不知道该叫还是哭了 |
| [15:59] | That’s it. | 有了 |
| [16:06] | You’re a liar, Lennox, | 你个骗子 伦诺克斯 |
| [16:08] | and I am gonna | 我要让你 |
| [16:09] | bust you down from star witness to loser | 从主要证人沦落为 |
| [16:12] | who rents the movie Witness. | 只能租《证人》看的怂货 |
| [16:16] | How can you send an innocent man to jail? | 你怎么能把一个无辜的人送入监狱 |
| [16:19] | He has a slight frame | 他身材瘦弱 |
| [16:20] | and delicate features, | 相貌清秀 |
| [16:21] | and that’s great for an underwear model, | 当个内衣模特倒是非常合适 |
| [16:22] | but it is horrible for a prisoner. | 但当囚犯就太糟糕了 |
| [16:24] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [16:25] | It’s been driving me crazy. | 我快疯了 |
| [16:27] | I knew I recognized you guys from somewhere. | 我就觉得这场面有点熟悉 |
| [16:29] | I saw you work this routine on a meter maid. | 我见过你们对一个交通女警耍这伎俩 |
| [16:31] | I will have you busted down from meter maid | 老娘就让你从一个 |
| [16:33] | to regular maid, and trust me, | 交通女警变成一个家庭女佣 |
| [16:36] | that is a picnic without a blanket. | 我可告诉你 干那行可会穷哭你 |
| [16:39] | Oh, crap, this isn’t gonna work. | 糟了 这招不管用 |
| [16:40] | He knows about “Bad cop, sad cop.” | 他知道”红脸警 白脸警”这招了 |
| [16:45] | What’s taking so long? | 怎么这么长时间 |
| [16:46] | Oh, it’s really slippery. | 很滑啊 |
| [16:48] | Oh, here, maybe if I try to… | 我试试… |
| [16:53] | Ah, I can’t breathe! | 我无法呼吸了 |
| [16:54] | I can’t breathe! | 我不能呼吸了 |
| [16:57] | The cord is wrapped around his neck! | 线缆把他的脖子缠住了 |
| [16:59] | We got to get him out of there right away! | 我们得立马把他拉出来 |
| [17:01] | Sabrina, push, push with all your might! | 塞布丽娜 用力推 用尽全力去推 |
| [17:05] | You can do it! Harder! | 你可以的 用力点 |
| [17:06] | God, I can’t believe you idiots thought this would work! | 天哪 不敢相信你们这群白痴会认为这样管用 |
| [17:10] | Sabrina, sometimes I think you forget I’m your boss. | 塞布丽娜 有时候我觉得你忘了我是你老板 |
| [17:15] | Mama, help us. | 妈咪 救命 |
| [17:17] | I have to do something. | 我得采取点措施 |
| [17:31] | It’s okay, it’s okay. | 没事了 没事了 |
| [17:33] | You’re okay; Mommy’s got you. | 你没事了 妈咪在呢 |
| [17:46] | It’s a boy! | 是个男孩 |
| [17:51] | So, if you’ll agree | 如果你同意 |
| [17:54] | to dismiss all these tickets, | 免除这些罚单 |
| [17:55] | we can definitely get our client to plead guilty. | 我们一定可以让我们的当事人认罪 |
| [17:58] | Traditionally, plea deals do not help the defendant’s lawyers | 一般来说 认罪协议不能帮被告律师 |
| [18:00] | avoid paying parking fines. | 免于支付停车罚款 |
| [18:04] | I got it! | 我知道了 |
| [18:05] | We reject the deal. | 我们拒绝协议 |
| [18:06] | I offered no deal. | 我并没有提出什么协议 |
| [18:07] | Janice, get it on the record | 贾妮斯 记录下来 |
| [18:09] | that I did not offer anyone a deal. | 我并没有向任何人提出协议 |
| [18:15] | According to your previous testimony, | 根据你之前的证词 |
| [18:18] | when exactly did you see my client | 你看到我的当事人 |
| [18:21] | stealing your moped on Pine Street? | 在松树街偷你电动车的具体时间是什么 |
| [18:25] | May 19th, 5:00 p.m. | 5月19日下午五点 |
| [18:27] | And is it also your testimony | 那你的证词里是否也曾说过 |
| [18:29] | that you saw my esteemed lawyer husband and myself, | 你看到我德高望重的律师丈夫和我本人 |
| [18:34] | also an esteemed attorney at law, | 顺便我在法律界也是受人敬重的律师 |
| [18:36] | getting a ticket on Elmwood Avenue? | 在榆木大道收到罚单 |
| [18:40] | – Yes. – Would you mind reading | -是的 -那能请你为我读一读 |
| [18:42] | what’s printed on this ticket for me? | 这张罚单上印着什么吗 |
| [18:46] | “May 19, 5:00 p.M.” | 5月19日下午五点 |
| [18:51] | Ladies and gentlemen… | 女士们先生们 |
| [18:54] | …how could one man | 一个人怎么可能 |
| [18:55] | be in two different places, ten miles apart from each other, | 在同一时间身处于相隔十英里的 |
| [18:58] | at the exact same time? | 两个地方呢 |
| [19:00] | Is it because, | 是因为 |
| [19:01] | I don’t know, he has a time machine? | 我猜一下 他有月光宝盒吗 |
| [19:03] | Or is it because he is a liar? | 又或者他在撒谎 |
| [19:06] | Fine! | 好了 |
| [19:07] | I admit it. | 我承认 |
| [19:09] | I lied. | 我撒谎了 |
| [19:10] | I didn’t see him steal my moped. | 我没看到他偷我的电动车 |
| [19:11] | I just said it because | 我那么说是因为 |
| [19:13] | that son of a bitch slept with my girlfriend. | 那个狗娘养的睡了我的女朋友 |
| [19:16] | Case dismissed. | 案件驳回 |
| [19:20] | I’m supposed to say that. | 这是我的台词 |
| [19:26] | Oh, you’re crying. | 你在哭呢 |
| [19:31] | I thought this wasn’t that big of a deal for you. | 我没想到这对你有这么重大的意义 |
| [19:33] | I lied. | 我撒谎了 |
| [19:36] | Sometimes I lie when it’s easier than telling the truth. | 我说谎是因为有时候说谎比坦白容易 |
| [19:39] | I’m-I’m sorry if-if I went a little overboard. | 我 我很抱歉 如果我太过分了的话 |
| [19:41] | I’m not. | 没有 |
| [19:43] | Neither of us was there | 喜旺出生的时候 |
| [19:44] | the first time Hope was born, and… | 我们都不在身边 但是 |
| [19:47] | in a really weird way, | 很奇怪的是 |
| [19:49] | I feel like it was good for all of us. | 我觉得这对我们都是好事 |
| [19:51] | ‘Cause we did it together. | 因为这次我们一起完成了 |
| [19:55] | Like a real family. | 像一个真正的家庭 |
| [19:57] | So this was good idea? | 所以这算是个好主意吗 |
| [19:59] | No, it was a horrible idea. | 不 这主意糟透了 |
| [20:03] | But it worked. | 但是很管用 |
| [20:05] | And you are the sweetest man in the world for doing it. | 你这样做 真是世界上最贴心的男人呢 |
| [20:08] | Hope’s rebirth gave us something | 喜旺的再出生给了我们 |
| [20:10] | that we both needed. | 都需要的东西 |
| [20:11] | The experience of doing something together | 我们一起做 |
| [20:14] | that neither of us had done before. | 以前从未做过的事 |
| [20:19] | And we weren’t the only ones. | 不止我们这样 |
| [20:21] | What do you think we should do with these now? | 你觉得我们现在该怎么处理这眼镜 |
| [20:23] | I guess we get rid of them. | 我想我们该扔了 |
| [20:25] | We’re probably not gonna pretend to be lawyers again. | 我们应该不会再假装律师了 |
| [20:29] | They just made me feel so smart. | 但戴眼镜让我觉得自己有文化 |
| [20:31] | Hey, it wasn’t just the glasses. | 不止是眼镜的问题 |
| [20:33] | You were amazing. | 你太棒了 |
| [20:34] | You outsmarted professional lawyers. | 你比职业律师还聪明 |
| [20:36] | You kept an innocent man from going to jail. | 你拯救了一个无辜的人 让他免入冤狱 |
| [20:38] | It wasn’t just me. | 不是我一个人的功劳 |
| [20:40] | If you hadn’t thought of doing “Bad cop, sad cop,” | 如果不是你想到”红脸警 白脸警”那招 |
| [20:42] | then Aaron would’ve never blown his alibi. | 亚伦根本不在场的事情就不会自己暴露了 |
| [20:47] | You know, I bet we could’ve been lawyers, | 我相信我们本来是可以当律师的 |
| [20:49] | if we’d done things differently. | 如果我们以前选择不同的道路 |
| [20:51] | Like go to law school and college | 比如去上法学院啊 |
| [20:53] | and finished high school. | 读完高中什么的 |
| [20:54] | That sounds like a lot of effort. | 听起来得花大力气呢 |
| [20:56] | And those suspenders chafed. | 那吊带裤磨得我好疼啊 |
| [20:58] | Yeah, and all that posing… | 是啊 还有那些姿势 |
| [21:00] | my lips hurt. | 我的嘴唇好疼 |
| [21:02] | I think I over-pouted. | 我觉得我嘴撇得过头了 |
| [21:03] | Yeah, I’m happy to retire having never lost a case. | 是啊 很高兴我退休前没输过一场官司 |
| [21:06] | Yeah, me, too. | 是啊 我也是 |
| [21:08] | But I think I’ll wait till morning to throw these out. | 但我想等到明早再扔掉眼镜 |
| [21:11] | Good idea. | 好主意 |
| [21:17] | Maybe if we sleep in ’em, | 也许我们可以戴着眼镜睡觉 |
| [21:19] | we’ll have smart dreams. | 这样会做有文化的梦 |