| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | You take that back! | 你给我收回那句话 |
| [00:03] | I will not! Not after what you said | 就不 你竟然在经理面前 |
| [00:04] | about me in front of the manager. | 那么说我 |
| [00:05] | Well, you deserved it! | 那是你该得的 |
| [00:07] | Especially after what you wrote | 谁让你在我的同行评鉴上 |
| [00:09] | about me in my peer evaluation. | 那么写 |
| [00:11] | Whoa, whoa, whoa, ladies! | 嘿 嘿 嘿 女士们 |
| [00:12] | Back off. | 冷静点 |
| [00:13] | She had the nerve to tell the manager that I was | 她居然敢跟经理说 |
| [00:16] | the best damn maid | 我是敲敲帮有史以来 |
| [00:17] | who ever worked for Knock Knock Knock. | 最好的女佣 |
| [00:18] | Well, she deserves that promotion. | 你不升职谁升职 |
| [00:20] | How dare you lie to make me look good! | 你怎么敢睁眼说瞎话 来给我贴金呢 |
| [00:24] | I thought we were friends. | 我还以为我们是朋友 |
| [00:26] | Besides, you’ve worked here longer. | 更何况你在这干得更久 |
| [00:28] | You should get the promotion! | 你才应该升职 |
| [00:29] | You know I need to concentrate on rewriting my telenovela. | 你知道我得专心重写我的浪漫连续剧 |
| [00:33] | It’s about a sexy maid who is constantly fending off | 是说一个性感女佣 她每天都要避开 |
| [00:35] | the advances of her blond coworker’s husband | 她金发同事的老公的骚扰 |
| [00:37] | who can’t keep his rough gardener hands off her. | 那园丁老公总是对她伸出咸猪手 |
| [00:43] | I’m not saying you should take it. | 我不是说你应该接受它 |
| [00:45] | I’m saying you should think about it. | 我的意思是你应该考虑一下 |
| [00:46] | Uh, I don’t want to take the job, Burt. | 伯特 我不想接受那个职位 |
| [00:48] | Crew chief has to take to take crap from everyone. | 组长必须给每个人擦屁股 |
| [00:51] | The boss, your coworkers, the customers. | 老板 同事还有客户 |
| [00:53] | And you know taking crap pisses me off. | 你知道的 我最烦给人擦屁股 |
| [00:56] | You just need to relax. | 你只是需要放松一下 |
| [00:57] | Close your eyes, | 闭上眼睛 |
| [00:58] | take a deep breath, | 深呼吸 |
| [00:59] | and think about a special place. | 想象一个特别的地方 |
| [01:00] | I’m not going to some fantasy place. | 跟你说过多少遍了 |
| [01:02] | I’ve told you a million times. | 我才不要幻想什么美妙天堂 |
| [01:04] | I handle my own stressful situations my own way. | 我有自己的方式来缓解压力 |
| [01:07] | Did you see what I just saw? | 你跟我看到的一样吗 |
| [01:14] | Delilah’s back. | 黛丽拉回来了 |
| [01:15] | Surprise! | 惊喜吧 |
| [01:17] | The rivalry between my mom | 我妈妈跟她表妹黛丽拉之间的竞争 |
| [01:18] | and her cousin Delilah started years ago, | 始于数年前 |
| [01:20] | when Maw Maw let Delilah treat Mom like a servant. | 那时曾奶奶让黛丽拉把妈妈当佣人使唤 |
| [01:22] | For years, Delilah took full advantage. | 多年来 黛丽拉占尽便宜 |
| [01:25] | You’re stupid. | 你好蠢 |
| [01:26] | And I hate you. | 我讨厌你 |
| [01:28] | – Until my mom finally had enough… – Ginny! | -直到妈妈受够了欺侮 -吉妮 |
| [01:30] | – …and figured out how to stop her visits. – Maw Maw’s dead. | -想出个办法让她不要再来 – 奶奶死了 |
| [01:35] | Ghost! | 是鬼 |
| [01:38] | I cast you out, | 我驱逐你 |
| [01:39] | foul spirit! | 愚蠢的幽灵 |
| [01:43] | No? Not buying it? | 没用 不买账吗 |
| [01:56] | I can’t believe you two. | 真不敢相信 |
| [01:57] | Keeping me from my beloved Delilah | 你们竟然把我跟亲爱的黛丽拉分开 |
| [01:59] | just so you two can keep living in my house, just leeching off of me. | 就为了自己能一直住在我这儿啃老 |
| [02:03] | Yes, we live in your house. Yes, we leech off you. | 对 我们住在你的房子里 对 我们啃老 |
| [02:06] | Yes, I thought I would come up with an excuse | 对 我是在想编个理由 |
| [02:08] | so it would make this all seem okay | 让这一切看起来合理一些 |
| [02:10] | by the end of this sentence, but, no, I have not. | 结果呢 没有 我编不出来 |
| [02:12] | Maw Maw, we do not leech off of you. | 奶奶 我们没有平白啃老 |
| [02:16] | We take care of you. | 我们是在照顾你 |
| [02:16] | We even got you one of those custom necklaces so people know | 我们甚至给你定制了条项链 |
| [02:19] | who to call when you get lost. | 如果你走丢了 人们就知道该找谁 |
| [02:20] | Considering what you two did, it’s a miracle | 就你们俩这德性 奶奶能找到我 |
| [02:23] | Maw Maw even found me. | 都是个奇迹了 |
| [02:24] | I read the wrong number in my address book, | 我翻通讯簿时看错了号码 |
| [02:26] | and I called Delilah | 本来要打给黛兰尼医生 |
| [02:28] | instead of Dr. Delaney, | 那个搞安乐死的家伙 |
| [02:30] | the euthanasianist. | 结果却打给黛丽拉了 |
| [02:31] | Sometimes I get a pretty serious case of the Mondays. | 有时候 周一我都会有点想不开 |
| [02:34] | Well, not anymore, Maw Maw, ’cause you got | 再也不会了 奶奶 |
| [02:36] | a new light in your life. | 因为你已经发现了人生的新明灯 |
| [02:37] | Unlike the darkness you’ve been living with. | 那些暗无天日的日子从此一去不复返了 |
| [02:39] | Things must not be that sunny in Florida | 你能收拾行李大老远地从佛罗里达赶来 |
| [02:42] | if you could just pick up and come all the way to Natesville. | 估计你的日子过得也没多好吧 |
| [02:44] | Actually, they’ve been pretty good. | 实际上 我过得很好 |
| [02:45] | I’ve opened up a chain of solar-powered tanning beds | 我开发了一系列太阳能浴床 |
| [02:48] | called “Sun Tan.” | 叫”日光浴床” |
| [02:50] | What we do is we harness the power of the sun to tan people. | 我们利用太阳能来给人美黑 |
| [02:53] | Damn. I got to hand it to her. | 真牛逼 我必须点个赞 |
| [02:55] | That’s pretty revolutionary. | 太具有革命性了 |
| [02:56] | Well, Delilah, it’s been nice catching up, | 好吧 黛丽拉 叙旧叙得差不多了 |
| [02:59] | but you probably want to beat the traffic | 你得在堵车前 |
| [03:00] | getting back to the hell away from us. | 赶紧离开我们 回你的鬼地方去了 |
| [03:02] | Oh. I’m not leaving. | 我不走了 |
| [03:04] | At least not until I help Maw Maw | 至少 在没帮奶奶完成 |
| [03:06] | finalize the details of her reverse mortgage. | 她的反向抵押贷款之前 我是不会走的 |
| [03:11] | Reverse mortgage. So that would be what? | 反向抵押贷款 这又是什么玩意 |
| [03:13] | E-gag-trom? | 印盖充[投资公司] |
| [03:15] | Oh, Burt. | 伯特 |
| [03:17] | You handsome simpleton you. | 你真是个帅气的蠢蛋 |
| [03:19] | A reverse mortgage is a financially sound way | 反向抵押贷款是奶奶的生财之道 |
| [03:21] | for Maw Maw to get money out of her house now, | 奶奶可以把钱从她的房子里抽出 |
| [03:23] | so she can live it up while she’s still alive. | 这样她在有生之年都可以活得逍遥自在 |
| [03:25] | Fonzie told me about it on TV. | 电视里风仔告诉我的[荒唐电视剧主人公] |
| [03:27] | I’m gonna get a nice fat check every month | 我要去代托纳[位于佛罗里达] |
| [03:30] | while I’m living it up down in Daytona | 跟黛丽拉和她老公一起快乐地生活 |
| [03:32] | with Delilah and her husband. | 每个月还能拿到一大笔钱 |
| [03:34] | What? Maw Maw, you can’t leave us. We love you. | 什么 奶奶 你不能离开我们 我们爱你 |
| [03:38] | Oh, drop the lovey-dovey act, Ginny. | 少来这些糖衣炮弹 吉妮 |
| [03:40] | You two will be just fine. | 离了奶奶你们能出什么事儿 |
| [03:41] | That’s the beauty of the reverse mortgage. | 这就是反向抵押贷款的好处 |
| [03:43] | While Maw Maw gets to travel and do all the things she wants to do, | 当奶奶要去旅行或者做些其他事的时候 |
| [03:46] | you get to stay in the house | 你们得待在这里 |
| [03:47] | for the life of the mortgage. Or Maw Maw. | 偿还贷款 或者伺候奶奶 |
| [03:49] | Whichever ends first. | 直到其中一项结束为止 |
| [03:50] | You belong here with your family, not in some | 你得跟你的家人一起待在这里 |
| [03:53] | spring break swamp town | 不许去什么度春假的沼泽小镇 |
| [03:54] | full of nothing but drunk college kids having casual sex. | 那里到处都是烂醉又滥交的大学毛孩 |
| [03:58] | Drunk college kids and casual sex? | 烂醉又滥交的大学毛孩 |
| [04:00] | What are we waiting for? Let’s go. | 还等什么啊 立刻动身 |
| [04:05] | Thank you so much for coming. | 非常感谢你的到来 |
| [04:06] | This is actually our first time interviewing babysitters, | 实际上这是我们第一次面试保姆 |
| [04:09] | but you came very highly recommended. | 历任雇主对你的评价很高嘛 |
| [04:11] | You’re too kind. It’s easy to be good when you love your work. | 您太客气了 爱一行就能干好一行 |
| [04:14] | What we really need… | 我们真正需要的是 |
| [04:16] | We don’t speak unless spoken to, child. | 大人没跟你说话 小孩别插嘴 |
| [04:20] | We have tickets to CoverFest this Saturday. | 我们有周六卡瓦音乐节的门票 |
| [04:22] | This year it’s all hybrid cover bands. The headliners are N.W.AC/DC | 今年是翻唱山寨组 主要有N.W.AC/DC |
| [04:23] | N.W.A乐队+AC/DC乐队 红辣椒乐队+米力瓦利乐队 | |
| [04:26] | and Red Hot Chili Vanilli. | 红辣椒米力瓦利乐队 |
| [04:29] | It’s written in blood. It’s written in blood. | 这是血书 血书啊 |
| [04:32] | You never have to worry | 只要我在这 |
| [04:33] | about your child’s safety as long as I’m here. | 你们完全不用担心孩子的安全问题 |
| [04:37] | I customized it so there’s no safety to slow me down. | 这是我定制的 这样我可以拔枪就射了 |
| [04:42] | We’d be happy to play with Hope forever. | 我们愿意永远陪喜旺玩 |
| [04:44] | And ever and ever | 永永远远 |
| [04:46] | and ever and ever | 永远永远 |
| [04:47] | and ever. And ever. | 永 远 |
| [04:49] | I love kids. | 我爱孩子 |
| [04:51] | I have four younger siblings who I basically raised. | 我有四个弟弟妹妹 基本都是我带大的 |
| [04:54] | I have a degree in Early Childhood Development | 我有儿童早期教育的学士学位 |
| [04:56] | and I’m getting my master’s in Child Psychology. | 并且即将拿到儿童心理学的硕士学位 |
| [04:59] | Wow. You seem… | 你看起来 |
| [05:02] | really qualified. | 资质真不错 |
| [05:03] | Pass. | 下一个 |
| [05:05] | I’m telling you, Burt. | 告诉你 伯特 |
| [05:08] | The reverse mortgage, | 什么反向抵押贷款 |
| [05:10] | moving Maw Maw down to Florida. | 让曾奶奶搬到佛罗里达 |
| [05:11] | I don’t like any of this. | 我全不买账 |
| [05:12] | Delilah’s never looking out for anyone but herself. | 黛丽拉这个自私鬼从来不考虑别人 |
| [05:15] | Virginia, you’re too stressed. | 维吉妮亚 你压力太大了 |
| [05:17] | I’ve told you, when you get like this, | 跟你说了 压力大的时候 |
| [05:18] | you got to do what I do. | 就学我这样 |
| [05:20] | I just close my eyes… | 闭上双眼 |
| [05:22] | and I drift off to a little tropical paradise in my head | 幻想自己置身于一片热带天堂 |
| [05:25] | that I like to call Burt Island. | 我管这地方叫伯特岛 |
| [05:28] | There, I’m a millionaire because I’m the only one | 在那 我是百万富翁 |
| [05:32] | who knows how to clean and filter the ocean. | 因为只有我知道如何清洁并过滤海水 |
| [05:35] | A place where your cinnamon toast Italian hoagies | 在那 肉桂吐司意大利三明治 |
| [05:37] | grow on trees. | 都是长在树上的 |
| [05:40] | And there’s a friendly islander | 那儿还有个友善的岛民 |
| [05:41] | who’s just a little bit worse than me at foosball, | 桌上足球的水平比我差一点 |
| [05:44] | so I always win. | 所以我百战百胜 |
| [05:45] | Got you again, Pupukaka! | 我又赢咯 噗噗卡卡 |
| [05:47] | And all the women are the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. | 岛上的女人是我见过的最美的 |
| [05:50] | Hi, Virginias. | 你们好啊 各位维吉妮亚 |
| [05:52] | Hello, Burt. | 你好 伯特 |
| [05:55] | And aloha to you, Pupukaka. | 你也好啊 噗噗卡卡 |
| [06:04] | And some of you are easy, | 有些你很随和好亲近 |
| [06:05] | some of you are too good for me. | 有些太优质 我都配不上 |
| [06:07] | Now you try. | 你来试试 |
| [06:07] | You go to Virginia Island. | 去维吉妮亚岛 |
| [06:09] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 |
| [06:21] | Hey, Ginny. I thought being on a deserted island | 吉妮 我还以为流落荒岛 |
| [06:23] | was supposed to make you lose weight. | 能让你变瘦点呢 |
| [06:27] | God. I can’t do it, Burt. | 娘啊 我做不到 伯特 |
| [06:30] | It may work for you, but my head just won’t let me go there. | 这方法对你可能有用 但我就是不行 |
| [06:32] | It just takes practice. You stick with it. | 多尝试几次就好了 坚持下去 |
| [06:35] | Here, have something sweet. Help you calm down. | 吃点曲奇 能帮你舒缓情绪 |
| [06:40] | Where’d you get these? | 这些从哪来的 |
| [06:41] | Out of the trash can. | 垃圾桶里捡来的 |
| [06:43] | Delilah threw them away, but they taste fine to me. | 黛丽拉扔的 但我吃起来觉得没问题 |
| [06:45] | Burt… remember when Jimmy needed braces | 伯特 还记得吉米需要矫正器 |
| [06:48] | and we didn’t have any money? | 但我们又没钱 |
| [06:51] | What did we do to get it? | 最终我们怎么办到的吗 |
| [06:51] | We sold our blood every Wednesday | 我们每周三去卖血 |
| [06:53] | for two years straight. | 连续两年不间断 |
| [06:54] | The only good thing about it was the delicious… | 唯一让人留恋的就是那美味的… |
| [06:57] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
| [06:59] | These are blood bank cookies. | 这是血库小饼干 |
| [07:05] | Aha. Look. | 看 |
| [07:06] | Blood bank recovery juice. | 血库能量复苏果汁 |
| [07:08] | She’s selling her blood. | 她在卖血 |
| [07:10] | What kind of wealthy suntan mogul needs | 什么样的美黑土豪 |
| [07:12] | to sell her own blood? | 需要卖血啊 |
| [07:14] | See, I was gonna say Delilah, but that’s too obvious. | 我说是黛丽拉 但这答案太简单 |
| [07:17] | Uh… think, think, think, think, think. | 小脑瓜转起来啊 |
| [07:18] | No, it’s Delilah. | 说的就是黛丽拉 |
| [07:19] | Oh, damn it. | 靠 |
| [07:21] | I was really close that time. | 就差那么一点 |
| [07:24] | CPR training? President of the Nutrition Club? | 心脏复苏培训 营养俱乐部主席 |
| [07:28] | Internship at a Danish interlocking toy block company? | 丹麦连锁积木公司实习生 |
| [07:30] | – You’re perfect. – You have no idea how many people we’ve seen. | -完美人选 -你都不知道我们面了多少人了 |
| [07:34] | You’re hired. | 就你了 |
| [07:36] | That’s so cool of you, but… | 太好了 但是 |
| [07:38] | I got to ask you a few questions | 我还要问你们几个问题 |
| [07:40] | because I only sit for one family at a time, | 因为我一次只能照顾一家 |
| [07:42] | and I’m in, like, really high demand. | 而且我要求很高的 |
| [07:44] | But you have to pick us. | 你必须选我们啊 |
| [07:45] | Our only other option is a woman that has two hooks for hands. | 我们唯一的备选是个手上只有两个钩子的女人 |
| [07:48] | Oh, I know Claire. She’s awesome. | 克莱尔啊 我认识 她人很好 |
| [07:50] | We went zip-lining together. | 我们一起去溜索呢 |
| [07:51] | – Oh, yeah? – Okay. | -是嘛 -这样吧 |
| [07:52] | I’m texting you your first question now. | 我把第一个问题发给你 |
| [07:59] | Those Daytona spring breakers | 这帮在代托纳度春假的学生 |
| [08:01] | have no idea who they’ll be messing with. | 真不知道自己将要惹上哪号人物啊 |
| [08:04] | Okay, Maw Maw, one more initial | 好了 曾奶奶 再签个名 |
| [08:06] | and you’ve got yourself a reverse mortgage. | 你就能拿到反向抵押贷款了 |
| [08:09] | Put the pen down, Maw Maw. | 把笔放下 曾奶奶 |
| [08:10] | Why don’t you ask Delilah here about how she’s broke | 不如问问黛丽拉她是怎么破产的 |
| [08:13] | and just came here to scam you out of all your money. | 还想来这骗光你的钱 |
| [08:15] | I don’t know what you’re talking about. | 我不知道你在说些什么 |
| [08:16] | I don’t need Maw Maw’s money. | 我才不需要曾奶奶的钱 |
| [08:18] | Oh, really? Then how come you’re selling your blood? | 是吗 那你干嘛要卖血 |
| [08:22] | Oh, we got to quit | 扯开别人衣裳证明他们在说谎 |
| [08:24] | ripping people’s clothes off to prove they’re liars. | 这个坏习惯真得改 |
| [08:26] | This is like when you thought the mailman was a woman | 这跟你怀疑人家邮递员是女人那回 |
| [08:28] | all over again. | 一样一样的 |
| [08:29] | Except this time | 不一样的是 |
| [08:30] | I’m… right! | 这次我对了 |
| [08:33] | Oh, thank God. | 感谢上苍 |
| [08:35] | What do you have to say for yourself now, Delilah? | 你现在还有什么话要说 黛丽拉 |
| [08:37] | Suck it, Ginny. | 去死吧 吉妮 |
| [09:01] | I can’t believe you two! | 你们真是太让人失望了 |
| [09:03] | Here you are, grown women, | 年纪一把了 |
| [09:04] | and you’re still fighting | 还跟小孩子一样 |
| [09:05] | like when you were teenagers! | 打成一团 |
| [09:07] | Delilah started it | 是黛丽拉先惹我的 |
| [09:08] | when she came here trying to reverse cowgirl your mortgage! | 她来这想骗你反向抵押贷款 |
| [09:11] | Oh, I had to! I got nothing! | 我也是没办法 我什么都没了 |
| [09:13] | It turns out in the tanning bed industry | 原来在日光浴床行业混 |
| [09:15] | you’re always one irregular mole away | 你跟破产出局之间的距离 |
| [09:17] | from being yelp’d out of the business. | 压根参透不了 |
| [09:20] | Well, at least you’ve still got your husband. | 至少你还有老公嘛 |
| [09:21] | No, he left me and re-enlisted. | 他离开我回部队了 |
| [09:23] | He said he’d rather go back to clearing mines in Afghanistan. | 他说他宁愿回阿富汗排雷 |
| [09:26] | That it’s easier on his nerves. | 那样精神上还轻松点 |
| [09:28] | Well, I’m done with this fighting. | 打够了吧 |
| [09:30] | You can both stay here, but the first one of you | 你们两个都可以留下 |
| [09:32] | who’s not nice to the other is out. | 但谁先挑事谁就被除名 |
| [09:34] | Of the house? | 被这个家除名吗 |
| [09:36] | And my will. | 还有我的遗嘱 |
| [09:38] | The one who is | 谁保持最长时间的 |
| [09:38] | nicest longest gets… | 友好态度就能 |
| [09:40] | all of this. | 得到这一切 |
| [09:46] | Now hug it out, bitches. | 抱抱和好吧 两个鬼丫头 |
| [09:55] | …and, well, that’s when I realized that | 直到那时我才意识到 |
| [09:58] | I just really love this family and… | 我真的很爱这个家 |
| [10:01] | I wanted to be Hope’s mother forever, | 我想永远做喜旺的妈妈 |
| [10:03] | so I adopted her immediately. | 所以我立刻领养了她 |
| [10:05] | That’s a nice story. So, a minute ago, | 真是个动人的故事 一分钟前 |
| [10:08] | you mentioned you have some licorice? | 你说到你有甘草糖 |
| [10:11] | Yeah, it’s, uh… it’s just in the cupboard. | 对 在 就在碗橱里 |
| [10:13] | Okay, here’s the last question: red or black? | 好 最后一个问题 红色还是黑色的 |
| [10:18] | Red? | 红色 |
| [10:19] | Final answer? | 确定吗 |
| [10:22] | Yeah? | 确定吧 |
| [10:23] | Congratulations. I’m hired. | 恭喜 我接受聘约 |
| [10:24] | Really? That’s amazing! | 真的吗 太棒了 |
| [10:28] | All right, so, uh… | 那 |
| [10:30] | I guess we will see you on Saturday. | 我们周六见吧 |
| [10:31] | Oh, this Saturday? I can’t do that. | 这周六吗 恐怕不行 |
| [10:33] | The concert is this Saturday. That’s… | 音乐会在周六 所以 |
| [10:35] | why we wanted you in the first place. | 我们才要请你啊 |
| [10:37] | I’m sorry. I have a history project that’s due on Monday, | 真抱歉 我有个历史作业下周一要交 |
| [10:39] | and I have to spend the weekend working on it. | 所以这周末我得好好写作业 |
| [10:41] | History? | 历史作业 |
| [10:43] | We’ll do it for you. | 我们帮你搞定 |
| [10:44] | What? | 啥 |
| [10:46] | I need this, Jimmy. | 我真的很想去 吉米 |
| [10:47] | I’m sorry. You know how much I love that little girl, | 抱歉 你知道我多爱喜旺 |
| [10:50] | but I need some adult time alone with my adult husband | 但我真的需要和我的老公有一点私人生活 |
| [10:53] | so I can have adult drinks | 这样我们就能喝点小酒 |
| [10:55] | and do the adult things. | 干点成年人该干的事 |
| [10:56] | So, what are we doing this project on? | 这个历史作业怎么做 |
| [11:01] | Who wants the last piece of pie? | 谁想要最后一块馅饼 |
| [11:04] | You take it, Virginia. | 你吃吧 维吉妮亚 |
| [11:06] | It’s obvious you’re a big fan of pie. | 你最爱吃馅饼了 |
| [11:08] | Yes, I am. | 是啊 |
| [11:09] | I eat it with my husband all the time. | 我和我老公经常一起吃呢 |
| [11:18] | In local weather, | 本地近日 |
| [11:19] | lots of sunshine coming our way for the next few days. | 天气宜人 阳光普照 |
| [11:21] | Oh, I put some glue on the remote | 我在遥控器上涂了点胶水 |
| [11:24] | because you said next time you lost it, | 你不是说过 下次再找不到遥控器 |
| [11:25] | you would just glue it to your hand. | 就干脆把它粘手上算了 |
| [11:28] | Oh, was that in jest? | 原来你是开玩笑的啊 |
| [11:29] | Because you might not want to touch | 那么也许你不会想去碰 |
| [11:30] | your wallet, keys, or tampons. | 你的钱包 钥匙和卫生巾呢 |
| [11:36] | Oh, my Lord. | 天啊 |
| [11:38] | Why the heck does my room smell like a cow’s dumper? | 我的房间怎么一股牛粪的味道 |
| [11:41] | Oh, I wanted to brighten up the room | 我想用鲜花 |
| [11:42] | for you with some flowers. | 为你的房间好好装扮装扮 |
| [11:44] | Don’t worry, | 别担心 |
| [11:45] | they’re going to live a long time. | 这味道没那么容易散的 |
| [11:47] | I used a lot of fertilizer. | 我施了可多肥了 |
| [11:49] | No. | 不 |
| [11:57] | You know, they’re not going to pay you extra | 即使你把马桶清洗得能从里面喝水 |
| [11:59] | if they can drink out of the bowl. | 他们也不会多付你钱的 |
| [12:00] | Sorry, I’d rather be here than at home. | 抱歉 我宁愿来刷马桶也不想待在家里 |
| [12:04] | Thanks to my cousin Delilah, | 全拜我表妹黛丽拉所赐 |
| [12:05] | cleaning toilets is now the best part of my day. | 刷马桶现在倒成了一天中最美好的时光了 |
| [12:08] | I know where you’re at. | 我明白你的感受 |
| [12:09] | Try being married to a guy who decided | 我家那位到了五十岁 |
| [12:11] | to become a Cher impersonator at age 50. | 突然决定要当个模仿雪儿[著名歌手]的演员 |
| [12:14] | Knock, knock, knock. | 敲敲帮钟点服务到 |
| [12:16] | Who’s there? | 是谁啊 |
| [12:17] | Your new crew member. | 来了位新同事 |
| [12:19] | Well, if it isn’t Slumdog Nothingaire. | 瞧啊 这不是贫民窟的穷光蛋吗 |
| [12:23] | Maw Maw insisted | 奶奶强烈要求 |
| [12:24] | I take a job here alongside my new best friend. | 我和我的新闺蜜一起工作 |
| [12:27] | Oh, my God. | 神啊 |
| [12:28] | We’re gonna be together 24 hours a day. | 我们俩可以整天待在一块儿了 |
| [12:31] | Virginia Island, Virginia Island, Virginia Island. | 维吉妮亚岛 维吉妮亚岛 维吉妮亚岛 |
| [12:36] | Ah, that’s nice. | 真美 |
| [12:42] | What? | 搞毛啊 |
| [12:46] | No, no. | 不 不 |
| [12:48] | No. | 不 |
| [12:51] | I can’t get it to work. | 我真办不到 |
| [12:55] | Maw maw wants her eggs the way you were in high school– | 奶奶说她的鸡蛋要煎成双面的 |
| [12:57] | over easy. | 和你高中那会儿一样 |
| [12:58] | I mean, bent over easy. | 很容易就被人”煎”了 |
| [13:01] | We’re not having eggs, Delilah, it’s dinnertime. | 不做鸡蛋的 黛丽拉 现在是晚餐时间 |
| [13:04] | Oh, good, I love your cooking. | 真好 我喜欢你做的菜 |
| [13:06] | It’s never rich– like you. | 和你人一样 寒酸得很 |
| [13:08] | – That’s it. – Oh, Virginia, no, no, no, no! | -老娘受够了 -维吉妮亚 不 不 |
| [13:11] | God. She wants you to hit her, so she’ll get the house. | 她就是想让你打她 这样她就能得到房子了 |
| [13:15] | What’s that I hear? | 快听 |
| [13:17] | Oh, it’s a bird only found on Virginia Island. | 一只维吉妮亚岛上才有的小鸟在鸣唱 |
| [13:21] | Now just take it all in. | 好好想想 |
| [13:23] | I’m there serving you a drink, buck naked– | 我一丝不挂 为你倒上酒 |
| [13:25] | just a suggestion. | 就是给你点建议 |
| [13:26] | I don’t know what game you two are playing, | 我不知道你们俩在玩什么把戏 |
| [13:28] | but if Burt’s naked, I’m all in. | 但如果伯特真脱得一丝不挂 那我也要插一脚 |
| [13:30] | Oh, God, I can’t do the island thing, okay? | 天啊 我做不到 行吗 |
| [13:34] | I’ve never been a beach person. | 我对什么沙滩大海啊从来不感冒 |
| [13:36] | Sand, sunscreen, and brightly colored towels– | 那些沙子 防晒霜啊 五颜六色的遮阳伞啊 |
| [13:39] | it just stresses me out. | 只会让我神经紧张 |
| [13:40] | It doesn’t have to be an actual island, | 不一定非得是什么小岛 |
| [13:41] | just any place that relaxes you. | 只要挑一处能让你心情愉悦的地方就好 |
| [13:43] | What makes you happier than anything else? | 什么东西能让你觉得幸福无比 |
| [13:45] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [13:47] | Okay, it’s working. | 好的 起效了 |
| [13:50] | I’m on Virginia Island. | 我身处维吉妮亚岛 |
| [13:51] | Yeah, it’s working for me, too, only I’m on Burt Peninsula. | 是啊 我也会了 我在伯特半岛 |
| [13:55] | It’s a lot like Florida, | 就跟佛罗里达差不多 |
| [13:56] | only Burt’s naked and doing me like I owe him money. | 伯特全身赤裸 好像我欠他钱似的干我 |
| [14:01] | Virginia can’t hear you, Delilah, | 维吉妮亚听不到你说话 黛丽拉 |
| [14:02] | ’cause Virginia Island is surrounded | 因为维吉妮亚岛 |
| [14:04] | by a soundproof bitch bubble. | 被防贱人噪音的泡沫包围着 |
| [14:08] | Oh, good, you’re here. | 太好了 你来了 |
| [14:10] | We can go over your project together. | 我们可以来过一遍你的作业 |
| [14:11] | So, um, that is your visual aid and here are your note cards. | 这是壁报 还有提示卡片 |
| [14:14] | I can’t do this right now. | 现在不行 |
| [14:15] | What do you mean? You said you had | 什么意思 你之前不是说 |
| [14:17] | to finish your project by tonight | 如果今晚能做完作业 |
| [14:18] | so you could babysit for us tomorrow. | 明天就能帮我们看孩子了 |
| [14:19] | I’m sorry, I can’t concentrate. | 抱歉 但我现在心很乱 |
| [14:21] | I was going to break up with my boyfriend on the way over here, | 我本来打算在来的路上和男朋友分手 |
| [14:24] | but I lost my nerve and now he’s waiting for me outside. | 但突然就没了勇气 他这会儿正在外面等我呢 |
| [14:28] | Okay, yeah, yeah, we can help you with that. | 没关系 我们可以帮你 |
| [14:29] | Jimmy, go break up with him. | 吉米 去和那孩子分手 |
| [14:31] | Really? | 可以吗 |
| [14:32] | That would be great. | 那真是太好了 |
| [14:34] | I don’t think that… | 我觉着这不太… |
| [14:35] | Jimmy. | 吉米 |
| [14:36] | I hope I never have to say this to you ever again, | 我希望这样的话只用对你说一遍 |
| [14:38] | but I need you to go outside and break up | 但为了我们的婚姻 你现在必须 |
| [14:40] | with that teenage boy for the sake of our marriage. | 立刻出门 和那孩子分手 |
| [14:43] | Is he a crier? | 他会哭鼻子吗 |
| [14:44] | A little bit. | 有点 |
| [14:46] | I’ll do anything. | 我什么都愿意做 |
| [14:49] | It’s not you, it’s her. | 不是你的问题 是她不好 |
| [15:01] | You were right, Burt, that was fantastic. | 你说得没错 伯特 真是太美妙了 |
| [15:04] | What me and Burt just did was fantastic, too. | 我和伯特刚刚干的也可美妙了 |
| [15:07] | He twisted me up like a little soft pretzel. | 天雷勾地火 欲仙又欲死 |
| [15:09] | Introduced my ankles to my ears. | 各种体位无下限 |
| [15:12] | I did not make any such introductions. | 绝对没有的事 |
| [15:14] | Oh, Delilah, I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. | 黛丽拉 看到你这么不好过我很难过 |
| [15:17] | I’m not having a hard time. | 我一点都不难过 |
| [15:19] | Your face is having a hard time | 你的脸才不好过呢 |
| [15:20] | distinguishing itself from your behind. | 还不如你的屁屁好看呢 |
| [15:23] | You are ugly, | 你又丑 |
| [15:24] | fat, poor, poor, fat, ugly. | 又肥 又穷 丑穷肥 |
| [15:26] | You said that one already. | 你说了两遍了 |
| [15:27] | You live with your grandma. | 这么大人了 还和奶奶住一起 |
| [15:29] | This is just getting sad. | 看你这样 我真伤心 |
| [15:31] | No, what’s sad is that you think you have won this house. | 不 最悲剧的是 你以为这房子是你的了 |
| [15:33] | You have no idea who you are messing with, sister. | 但你完全不知道自己在和谁作对 姐姐 |
| [15:51] | Maw Maw, Virginia just broke my arm! | 奶奶 维吉妮亚把我的膀子打断了 |
| [16:05] | Don’t worry, Ginny, | 别担心 吉妮 |
| [16:06] | no one’s pressing charges here. | 没人会告你的 |
| [16:07] | Maw Maw, she did it to herself. | 奶奶 是她自己干的 |
| [16:09] | You got to believe me. | 你一定要相信我 |
| [16:11] | Stop lying, Virginia. | 别再扯谎了 维吉妮亚 |
| [16:12] | I couldn’t break my own arm, | 老娘的骨头脆得就像粉笔一样 |
| [16:13] | and my bones are like blackboard chalk. | 都没法弄断自己的膀子 |
| [16:16] | The rules were clear. | 规矩说得很清楚 |
| [16:17] | Delilah gets the house. | 房子归黛丽拉了 |
| [16:19] | What? | 啥 |
| [16:19] | Thank you, Maw Maw. | 谢谢奶奶 |
| [16:21] | Don’t worry, Ginny, | 吉妮你也别难过 |
| [16:22] | I just want you to know that you and Burt are welcome to live here | 你和伯特想在这儿住多久 就住多久 |
| [16:24] | as long as you want, assuming you sleep in Jimmy’s room, | 只要你们睡的是吉米的屋 |
| [16:27] | pay rent, and live by my rules. | 要付房租 还要听我的话 |
| [16:30] | Another Pina Colada? | 又一杯果汁朗姆酒啊 |
| [16:31] | Thank you, Virginia Number Seven. | 维吉妮亚七号 谢主隆恩 |
| [16:33] | Need you on the mainland, Burt. | 给老娘滚回大陆来 伯特 |
| [16:38] | Oh, man, van living was much easier | 哎 当年咱还是小年轻时 |
| [16:42] | when we were in our 20s. | 住卡车反而更轻松 |
| [16:47] | I want to do it, Burt. | 我想做了 伯特 |
| [16:48] | Okay, but you’re going to have to do most of the work. | 好吧 不过得用女上位了 |
| [16:51] | I can barely move. | 我累瘫了 |
| [16:52] | No, not that. | 我不是说那个 |
| [16:55] | I want to take the promotion. | 我想接受那个升职 |
| [16:56] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
| [16:56] | Yeah, we’re too old for you to be driving me | 嗯 咱都这把年纪了 还让你开着房车 |
| [16:59] | to work in our house. | 送我上班 真不太好 |
| [17:00] | Well, I’m proud of you. | 我为你骄傲 |
| [17:02] | You know, this wouldn’t be our house | 如果我们和吉米 塞布丽娜住一起的话 |
| [17:04] | if we just stayed with Jimmy and Sabrina. | 就不用住这里了 |
| [17:06] | No way. | 不行 |
| [17:07] | It’s one thing to mooch off my grandmother. | 我们已经在曾奶奶那蹭住了 |
| [17:08] | I’m not about to mooch off my own son. | 不能再上儿子那蹭了 |
| [17:10] | I have pride, Burt. | 我也是有尊严的 伯特 |
| [17:13] | Car wash is open. | 洗车店开门了 |
| [17:14] | Let’s go sneak a shower. | 咱去蹭个澡洗洗 |
| [17:19] | Okay, Ashley, uh, we’ll be home around 1:00. | 艾希礼 我们1点左右到家 |
| [17:22] | You guys have fun. | 你们好好玩 |
| [17:23] | And, Hope, Ashley’s in charge, | 喜旺 今天你归艾希礼管 |
| [17:25] | so you got to listen to her, all right? | 要乖乖听话哦 知道没 |
| [17:26] | You got to go to bed when she tells you to. | 她让你睡觉去 你就睡觉去 |
| [17:32] | – She feels a little bit warm. – Nah, she’s fine. | -她有点发热 -她没事 |
| [17:34] | She’s just running around outside for the last hour. | 她刚刚围着外面疯跑了好久 |
| [17:36] | You’re right, you’re totally right. | 嗯 好吧 是我想太多 |
| [17:37] | So, Ashley, you have our numbers. | 艾希礼 你有我们的电话 |
| [17:39] | Please feel free to call with absolutely anything. | 有任何事随时给我们打电话 |
| [17:41] | Don’t worry, have fun. | 别担心 你们放心去玩吧 |
| [17:43] | CoverFest! | 卡瓦音乐节[南威尔士]万岁 |
| [17:46] | Ooh, you know what? Maybe I should just show her | 等等 我应该告诉她 |
| [17:47] | where the chewable aspirin is just in case. | 阿司匹林咀嚼片在哪儿 以防万一 |
| [17:49] | Oh, I think after the charts and the second walk-through, | 我们带她在房子里转了两遭 还给了物品表 |
| [17:51] | she knows where more stuff in our house is than I do. | 东西放哪儿 她现在比我还清楚 |
| [17:54] | You’re right, I’m sorry, let’s just go, | 你是对的 抱歉 我们走吧 |
| [17:56] | because CoverFest only happens once a year. | 卡瓦音乐节毕竟一年才一次 |
| [17:59] | CoverFest! | 音乐节万岁 |
| [18:02] | I don’t know. | 我有点犹豫 |
| [18:03] | Sabrina, let’s not overreact. | 塞布丽娜 别反应过激好吗 |
| [18:04] | When I was a kid, my parents went to Lollapalooza | 我小时候吞了一罐硬币 |
| [18:06] | even after I swallowed a jar of pennies. | 爹妈还是义无返顾地去了罗拉音乐节[芝加哥] |
| [18:08] | I was fine, | 我还挺过来了 |
| [18:09] | although when I pooped, it sounded | 虽然拉臭臭的时候 |
| [18:10] | like the jackpot from a slot machine. | 那声音听起来就像投币赌博机中了头奖似的 |
| [18:15] | Yeah, I heard it as I said it. | 好吧我懂了 |
| [18:20] | Hey, Ashley. | 艾希礼 |
| [18:22] | Do you like Maroon Five for Fighting? | 你爱听魔力红抗争乐队不 |
| [18:27] | Look who it is. | 瞧瞧这是谁来了 |
| [18:29] | I guess a week of living in the van | 我就知道在卡车里蜗居一星期 |
| [18:30] | was enough to force these two to come crawling back. | 这俩人就得爬回来了 |
| [18:33] | Don’t worry. | 别想太多 |
| [18:34] | We’re just here to pick up some things. | 我们只是回来拿点东西 |
| [18:36] | Then we’re gonna go look at apartments. | 然后就去找公寓 |
| [18:37] | I hear they have exposed brick and high ceilings | 我听说第八大街桥下 |
| [18:40] | under the 8th Street Bridge. | 有红砖隔间 还是挑高层的哦 |
| [18:42] | For your information, | 告诉你 |
| [18:43] | we’re looking for a real apartment. | 我们是要找正经公寓 |
| [18:46] | The kind of apartment you can afford when you’re married | 那种公寓 只有等你嫁给新敲敲帮主管 |
| [18:48] | to the new Knock Knock Knock crew chief. | 才住得起哦 |
| [18:51] | You actually went after that promotion? | 你接受升职了吗 |
| [18:53] | I thought you were afraid you couldn’t deal with people. | 我以为你不敢支使那些人 |
| [18:55] | Yeah, after Burt taught me his trick for taking crap, | 伯特传授了他如何处理负能量的方法后 |
| [18:58] | I wasn’t scared anymore. | 我就一点都不怕了 |
| [19:00] | Funny thing is, once I started, | 有意思的是 一旦开始了 |
| [19:02] | I never even needed Virginia Island. | 我连维吉妮亚岛都不需要了 |
| [19:04] | I gave the clients a cleaning form | 我给了客户们一张清洁列表 |
| [19:06] | so we wouldn’t miss things they wanted us to do. | 这样就不会遗漏他们需要清洁的地方 |
| [19:11] | And I got Knock Knock Knock | 我为敲敲帮每个人 |
| [19:12] | to give everyone an extra 15 minutes at lunch | 争取到了额外的15分钟午餐时间 |
| [19:14] | to take care of personal matters. | 去处理个人问题 |
| [19:16] | And then the handsome gardener turned to the sexy maid | 接着 英俊的园丁转向了性感女仆 |
| [19:20] | and said, “Take me, take me now.” | 说道 来上我 现在就来吧 |
| [19:26] | Turns out, if the clients aren’t mad | 我发现 如果客户不生气 |
| [19:28] | and the workers aren’t mad, the bosses aren’t mad. | 工人不发火 老板们也不会抽风 |
| [19:32] | So you’re going to keep the job? | 那你就打算干下去了 |
| [19:34] | Yeah, I’m pretty good at it | 是啊 我还挺擅长这个 |
| [19:35] | and I actually kind of like it, too. | 也挺喜欢的 |
| [19:38] | Good. | 那就好 |
| [19:39] | – Get out. – What? | -滚吧 -啥 |
| [19:41] | I only invited you here to light a fire under Virginia. | 我只是请你来激一下维吉妮亚的 |
| [19:45] | You planned this? | 原来是你计划好的啊 |
| [19:46] | Of course. | 那当然 |
| [19:47] | When you’re lucid, you are scary lucid. | 你清醒的时候 真是清醒得可怕 |
| [19:50] | Wait a minute, so you just | 等等 这么说你只是利用我 |
| [19:51] | used me so this one could become a better maid? | 来让她变成更好的清洁女工吗 |
| [19:54] | Yep, I always knew she could do it. | 嗯 我一直都知道她能做到的 |
| [19:56] | Someone just needed to push her | 她只是需要有人激激她 |
| [19:57] | so she could find out for herself. | 才会发现这一点 |
| [20:01] | Information I could have used | 我打断自己的手之前 |
| [20:02] | before I broke my own arm. | 你就应该告诉我啊 |
| [20:05] | Just so you know, | 听好了 |
| [20:08] | if I catch you getting lazy again, I’m telling her | 如果你再犯懒 我就告诉她 |
| [20:10] | about the Nazi gold Wilfred buried in the yard. | 威尔弗雷德把纳粹金子埋在咱院子里了 |
| [20:18] | Maw Maw’s just an eye patch and a Persian cat away | 给奶奶配个眼罩 再来一只波斯猫 |
| [20:20] | from being a supervillain. | 就是正宗的超级大坏蛋了 |
| [20:22] | I’m glad we take such good care of her. | 真高兴我们把她照顾得这么好 |
| [20:24] | Keeps us on her good side. | 所以她也对我们这么好 |
| [20:27] | So you never told me | 你还没告诉我 |
| [20:28] | how you finally got Virginia Island to work? | 你是怎么样让维吉妮亚岛起作用的 |
| [20:30] | Well, it’s not actually an island. | 其实不算个岛啦 |
| [20:34] | It’s more of a place where… | 在那个地方 |
| [20:37] | you see nothing but the most beautiful sky full of stars, | 眼里只有满天繁星闪烁 |
| [20:42] | and the only sounds you hear are crickets, | 耳边只有蛐蛐儿欢叫 |
| [20:44] | and when you take a breath, | 当你深吸一口气 |
| [20:46] | you smell the most delicious barbecue, | 就会闻到喷香的烤肉味儿 |
| [20:50] | and all my favorite people are there | 所有我爱的人都在 |
| [20:52] | just doing what we always do. | 做着我们日常的琐碎事儿 |
| [20:57] | That sounds like our backyard on a Saturday night. | 听起来有点像我们在后院度过的周六之夜 |
| [21:00] | There is one difference. | 有一处不同 |
| [21:08] | Hey, what’s wrong with you? | 你是咋回事儿 |
| [21:10] | Even in your fantasies you can’t go to a nice restaurant? | 就连在幻想里都去不起个体面点的餐馆吗 |
| [21:13] | Hey, why don’t you hand me down a straw | 给老娘一根吸管 |
| [21:14] | so I can pole-vault up there and slap you in the face? | 老娘撑杆跳起来 赏你一个巴掌如何 |
| [21:17] | No. | 别 |
| [21:18] | Hey, not cool, cuz. | 这不好吧 老姐 |
| [21:20] | Let me out of here. | 放我出去 |
| [21:21] | My voice is bouncing off the walls. | 我在这里面都有回音了 |
| [21:23] | Is this what I really sound like? | 我声音听起来真是这样的吗 |