| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Oh… you’re gonna regret that. | 你会后悔的 |
| [00:04] | Pigfoot was your favorite. | 脚毛猪猪侠曾是你的最爱啊 |
| [00:05] | He wasn’t real, Burt. | 反正又不是真的 伯特 |
| [00:06] | None of this stuff is real. | 这些破烂玩意都是假的 |
| [00:08] | Hey. We came as fast as we could. | 我们用最快的速度赶来了 |
| [00:10] | Wait a minute, you’re not bleeding from your ear. | 等等 你没有七窍流血啊 |
| [00:12] | Damn it. I was really excited to either save your life | 讨厌 我还以为能救你一命或了你残生 |
| [00:15] | or end it compassionately. | 本来还超激动呢 |
| [00:16] | I just said that to get you over here. | 我那么说只是为了让你们赶紧过来 |
| [00:18] | It’s your mother– I’ve never seen her like this. | 是你妈 我从没见过她这样 |
| [00:22] | Mom, what are you doing? | 妈妈 你干什么呢 |
| [00:23] | Oh, come on, Virginia, that’s your authentic navajo dreamcatcher | 别 维吉妮亚 那是你的正品印第安捕梦网 |
| [00:26] | that we got at the Trail of Tears casino and suites. | 是我们在血泪之路那边的赌场里弄到的呢 |
| [00:28] | I’m done with all this make-believe stuff, Burt. | 我受够了这些封建迷信的东西 伯特 |
| [00:30] | How’s a bunch of string and feathers | 一团麻绳和羽毛 |
| [00:32] | supposed to hold thousands of dreams? | 怎么可能网住万千梦境呢 |
| [00:34] | And… who needs this telescope? | 还有 望远镜有什么用啊 |
| [00:36] | There’s no such thing as UFOs. | 飞碟什么的根本不存在 |
| [00:38] | Telescopes don’t just look at UFOs. | 望远镜不止是用来看飞碟的 |
| [00:41] | They actually have a variety of scientific uses… | 人家还有很多科学上的用途 |
| [00:43] | Oh, grow up. | 行了 现实点吧 |
| [00:46] | What happened to you? | 究竟出了什么事 |
| [00:47] | I’ll tell you what happened. | 我来说吧 |
| [00:48] | That mermaid special on TV. | 就是电视上播的那期美人鱼特别节目 |
| [00:50] | I just saw a special where actual scientists– | 我刚刚看了一期节目 说科学家们 |
| [00:53] | Norwegian scientists– | 挪威的科学家们 |
| [00:55] | proved the existence of mermaids. | 证明了美人鱼的存在 |
| [00:57] | Do you know how many mermaids get caught in fishing nets every year? | 你们知道 每年有多少美人鱼被网抓住吗 |
| [01:00] | None… | 一条没有 |
| [01:01] | Because mermaids, like actual cans of dolphin-safe tuna… | 因为美人鱼就跟所谓的”海豚安全”金枪鱼一样 |
| [01:05] | don’t really exist. | 根本不存在 |
| [01:07] | You’re a mermaid holocaust denier. | 你这是在否认人类对美人鱼犯下的罪行 |
| [01:13] | Attention Howdy’s shoppers. | 逛豪迪的各位同志请注意 |
| [01:15] | This store is selling mermaid contaminated tuna fish. | 这家黑店出售的金枪鱼罐头粘着美人鱼的血 |
| [01:23] | That show was a total hoax, Virginia. | 维吉妮亚 那档节目纯属恶搞 |
| [01:25] | 《人民周刊》 美人鱼节目 纯属骗局 | |
| [01:26] | But it was on that channel where you’re supposed to learn stuff. | 可那是科普频道的节目啊 |
| [01:29] | Plus, the narrator was British. | 再说 那个念旁白的还是个英国人呢 |
| [01:32] | Look at this. | 看看这个吧 |
| [01:35] | Jude Law and the network apologized… | 裘德·洛和电视台向观众道歉 |
| [01:38] | saying, “We never would’ve aired the film | 如果知道有那么多人蠢到信以为真 |
| [01:39] | if we thought there were people stupid enough to fall for it.” | 我们压根就不会播出这档节目 |
| [01:43] | I’ve been burned too many times. | 我的心全部碎成渣渣了 |
| [01:45] | I’m done believing in anything magical: | 我再也不会相信什么奇迹了 |
| [01:47] | dreamcatchers, ghosts, angels, Criss Angel. | 什么捕梦网 鬼 天使 克里斯幻术师啊 |
| [01:51] | And definitely not pigfoots. | 还有这些猪猪侠 |
| [01:56] | Don’t go throwin’ ghosts into all the nutty crap | 别把鬼这种高贵的生物和你曾相信的那些破烂 |
| [01:58] | you used to believe in. | 相提并论 |
| [01:59] | Ghosts are real. | 鬼是真的存在 |
| [02:01] | I’ve got one living in my closet. | 我的柜子里就住着一个 |
| [02:03] | You people can believe whatever you want. | 你们爱相信我管不着 |
| [02:05] | I’m done. | 反正我是不信了 |
| [02:08] | Apparently she’s also stopped believing | 看来她也已经忘了 |
| [02:10] | in cleaning up her own messes. | 自己的烂摊子要自己收拾 |
| [02:24] | What are you doing? | 你干什么呢 |
| [02:26] | Huh? Nothing. | 没干啥 |
| [02:28] | You’re not trying to put that stupid pigurine | 你不是想把那个傻叉猪猪侠 |
| [02:29] | back together, are you? | 拼回去吧 |
| [02:31] | Well, I was hoping when you cooled off, | 我希望你冷静下来后 |
| [02:33] | you might want it again. | 就又会想要它了 |
| [02:34] | I tried to buy you one, | 我想再给你买一个 |
| [02:36] | but it turns out they’re not selling them anymore | 但发现已经停产了 |
| [02:37] | ’cause apparently they’re made out of asbestos. | 因为是用石棉[危险禁用品]做的 |
| [02:40] | I tried to fix it, but it’s impossible. | 于是我就想着要帮你修好 但太困难了 |
| [02:42] | Now I see why god never actually made a pig sasquatch– | 现在我明白了 为什么上帝没有创造猪野人 |
| [02:44] | It’s-it’s very time-consuming. | 太耗时了 |
| [02:46] | Don’t bother trying to fix it. | 别白费心思了 |
| [02:48] | Pigurines are a ceramic lie. | 猪猪侠就是骗人感情的陶瓷 |
| [02:51] | Pigs can’t have careers. | 猪哪有什么职业 |
| [02:53] | The truth is, they’re just bacon and footballs. | 真相就是 他们只能被做成培根和足球 |
| [02:56] | End of story. | 就是这样 |
| [02:56] | I miss the woman who believed pigs could be policeman | 我好怀念那个相信小猪可以当警察 |
| [02:59] | or lawyers or pork-tologists. | 律师 和烧肉大厨的姑娘 |
| [03:01] | Well, she’s gone. | 那个姑娘已经死了 |
| [03:04] | I used to think there was more to life than being a maid… | 我本以为除了当清洁工 人生还有别的事可做 |
| [03:07] | I was wrong. | 但我错了 |
| [03:08] | You scrub toilets and then you die. | 我这一辈子就是刷刷马桶 了此残生 |
| [03:10] | Oh, come on, Virginia, you’re not just a maid anymore. | 不 维吉妮亚 你不只是个清洁工了 |
| [03:13] | You’re a crew chief now. | 你现在是工长了 |
| [03:14] | It’s not just scrubbing toilets, you do paperwork, too. | 你不仅要刷马桶 还要做文职工作 |
| [03:19] | My closet ghost is getting feisty. | 我柜子里的鬼太欢腾了 |
| [03:22] | He threw a lamp. | 他把灯都扔了 |
| [03:23] | I can’t, I can’t sleep in there. | 我不能一个人在那儿睡 |
| [03:25] | Maw maw, there’s no such thing as ghosts. | 奶奶 世界上根本就没有鬼 |
| [03:26] | You probably just knocked it over yourself. | 大概是你自己撞翻的 |
| [03:28] | Did not. | 不是我 |
| [03:30] | Dibs on the middle. | 让我睡中间嘛 |
| [03:31] | Let’s make a maw maw sandwich. | 我们三个一起睡 |
| [03:33] | No, maw maw. Just go on back to your room. | 不行 奶奶 回你自己房间去 |
| [03:35] | Will you take me? I’m scared. | 那你送我去 我真的好怕 |
| [03:36] | Fine! | 好吧 |
| [03:39] | – Sucker. – What? | -白痴 -搞什么 |
| [03:43] | If I start to scream… | 如果我夜里惊叫 |
| [03:45] | just slap me and tell me the war’s over. | 就放开抽我 再告诉我战争已经结束了 |
| [03:49] | This is ridiculous. | 太荒谬了 |
| [03:50] | I’m going to prove to you that there’s no such thing as ghosts. | 我要证明给你看 世界上就是没有鬼 |
| [03:55] | Okay, so… | 好了 |
| [03:57] | The windows in there are boarded up. | 所有的窗户都拴上了 |
| [04:00] | This door is locked. | 门也上了锁 |
| [04:04] | And I’m putting powder down. | 我在门口撒上粉 |
| [04:06] | So if anyone tries to go in or out… | 任何想要进出的人 |
| [04:09] | there’ll be footprints. | 都会留下脚印 |
| [04:11] | So I challenge your ghost to prove that it’s here. | 我倒是要看看 屋里究竟有没有鬼 |
| [04:16] | But my guess is, that in the morning when we wake up, | 但我觉得 明早我们醒来的时候 |
| [04:18] | everything’s gonna be exactly how I left it. | 一切都会照旧 |
| [04:31] | There you go. See? | 看见了吧 |
| [04:32] | Nothing’s changed. | 什么都没变 |
| [04:34] | Now you’ll know how I felt | 马上你就会体会到 |
| [04:35] | when I was dumb enough to believe. | 我意识到自己太傻太天真时的心情了 |
| [04:38] | Who are you? | 你是谁 |
| [04:40] | Is this cocaine on the floor up for grabs? | 地上的白粉是为我准备的吗 |
| [04:43] | Prepare to feel like an idiot, maw maw. | 准备被自己蠢哭吧 奶奶 |
| [04:55] | Oh, my god. | 天啊 |
| [04:57] | We have a ghost. | 家里住着一只鬼 |
| [05:00] | It’s making maw maw’s nightstand vibrate. | 他还让奶奶的床头柜震个不停 |
| [05:13] | I’m sorry I ever doubted you, dreamcatcher. | 对不起我曾怀疑过你 捕梦网 |
| [05:15] | I hope you catch dreams as well as you caught fire. | 希望你不仅能”捕”火还能捕梦 |
| [05:18] | Speaking of fire… | 说到火… |
| [05:19] | let’s burn this house before we’re slaughtered | 在我们被这愤怒的捣蛋鬼屠杀前 |
| [05:21] | in the night by this angry poltergeist. | 赶紧把这屋烧了吧 |
| [05:22] | Burt, it’s obviously a nice ghost. | 伯特 这家伙明显是只好鬼 |
| [05:25] | He made a smiley face. | 他画了笑脸来着 |
| [05:26] | I’ve seen all five Paranormal Activity movies. | 五部《鬼影实录》我全看了 |
| [05:28] | I promise you, this does not end well for us. | 坦白跟你说 我们肯定不会有好下场 |
| [05:30] | Did you say you wanted me to believe again? | 你说过希望我重新相信这些东西 对吧 |
| [05:32] | Well now… I believe. | 好吧 我信了 |
| [05:34] | Well, there’s a big difference | 美人鱼跟愤怒的冤魂 |
| [05:35] | between mermaids and angry vengeful phantoms. | 之间的差别可大了 |
| [05:37] | I feel like I could take a mermaid… on land. | 在陆地上 我搞定一只美人鱼没问题 |
| [05:40] | In a bathtub, it’d be anybody’s game. | 要是在浴缸里 那就难说了 |
| [05:47] | Maw maw, were you in the laundry room? | 曾奶奶 你刚刚在洗衣房吗 |
| [05:50] | I don’t go in there; | 我不去那里的 |
| [05:51] | that TV only gets the clothes channel. | 那的电视只有服装频道 |
| [05:53] | Burt, did you do the laundry? | 伯特 是你洗的衣服吗 |
| [05:55] | Not since the great acid-wash disaster of ’91. | 自从91年那次酸洗大事故之后我就没洗过 |
| [05:58] | We got jeans… | 牛仔裤在这 |
| [06:00] | And we got acid. | 酸液也有 |
| [06:01] | How hard can it be? | 洗个衣服能有多难 |
| [06:14] | Well, he’s thorough. | 他服务真周到 |
| [06:15] | He even cleaned out the pube catcher. | 把脏物槽都给洗了 |
| [06:18] | You’re winning me over, ghost! | 你真真的打动我了 |
| [06:19] | Whoever you are! | 不管你是什么鬼 |
| [06:21] | We brought a bag of ice! | 我们带了一袋冰过来 |
| [06:23] | Where’s the thumb?! Where’s Burt’s thumb? | 大拇指呢 伯特的大拇指呢 |
| [06:25] | Good job getting here so fast. | 这么快就来了 真牛逼 |
| [06:27] | So… dad didn’t cut off his thumb | 搞毛 就是说老爸没有因为 |
| [06:29] | testing out his new mouse guillotine? | 测试新捕鼠器而把手指切了 |
| [06:30] | No. We just wanted you to get here as fast as possible | 没 只是希望你们能在 |
| [06:33] | before we made contact. | 我们俩联络上那边之前赶来 |
| [06:34] | What do you mean, “contact”? | “联络上那边”是几个意思 |
| [06:36] | We have a ghost. | 家里有只鬼 |
| [06:38] | We have a laundry-folding, chair-stacking, | 不仅会叠衣服摞椅子 |
| [06:40] | lipstick-writing, possibly friendly, | 还会用口红写字 感觉挺友好的 |
| [06:41] | possibly Mr. Belvedere phantasm. | 估计是贝尔韦代雷先生的鬼魂 |
| [06:43] | And we hired a professional to help us communicate with it. | 我们请了一个专业灵媒来帮我们跟他交流 |
| [06:46] | Well, this should be as interesting as a | 好吧 这肯定跟冰块里 |
| [06:48] | still twitching thumb in a bucket of ice. | 会动的断指一样有趣 |
| [06:49] | Hey, Chances. | 大家好 |
| [06:50] | You guys order a medium? | 你们点了一份中号披萨 |
| [06:52] | Not a medium pizza. | 不是披萨 |
| [06:53] | A medium to help us talk to our ghost. | 是帮我们跟鬼交流的灵媒 |
| [06:56] | Your card says you do that. | 你名片说你干这行 |
| [06:57] | That’s an old business card. | 这名片都什么年代的了 |
| [06:59] | I also no longer do videotape rentals | 我现在也不出租录像带 |
| [07:01] | or teach the Macarena. | 也不教玛卡雷娜舞了[著名舞曲] |
| [07:03] | But I have branched out into writing people’s names | 不过现在我开始做 |
| [07:06] | on grains of rice. | 米上刻字的生意 |
| [07:08] | Here’s my new business card. | 这是我的新名片 |
| [07:10] | But I don’t open the portal into the spirit world anymore. | 但我不会再开鬼界之门了 |
| [07:14] | It’s too dangerous. | 太危险了 |
| [07:15] | Why? Possessions? | 为嘛 是怕附身鬼 |
| [07:17] | Poltergeists? Demons? | 捣蛋鬼还是恶魔 |
| [07:18] | No, worse. My dead grandma. | 都不是 我死去的奶奶比这些都可怕 |
| [07:21] | She was annoying when she was alive… | 她活着的时候就很烦人 |
| [07:24] | She’s downright unbearable as a spectral being. | 做鬼之后明显也不是省油的灯 |
| [07:27] | Please, Tyler, we don’t need much. | 求你了 泰勒 我们的要求很简单 |
| [07:29] | We just want to know who he is and what he wants. | 只想知道他是谁 想要什么 |
| [07:30] | And I have so many questions about heaven. | 而且我还有一堆关于天堂的问题想要请教 |
| [07:32] | Like, how do they keep birds from sneaking in there? | 比方说 他们怎么防止鸟偷偷飞进去 |
| [07:34] | If you guys are willing to compensate me | 如果你们能帮我付这三个披萨 |
| [07:36] | for three pizzas and two cheesy breads… I’m in. | 两块干酪面包的钱 我就干 |
| [07:40] | So, that’s gonna be… | 那就是 |
| [07:43] | four bucks each. | 每人四块钱 |
| [07:44] | Did you drag us here just to pay for pizza? | 叫我们来就是要我们付钱是吧 |
| [07:46] | No. we invited you here to join us | 不是 我们邀请你们来 |
| [07:48] | on our journey to the other side. | 一起感受另一个世界 |
| [07:50] | By the way, tickets to the other side are four bucks each. | 只不过那门票是每人四块钱 |
| [07:52] | But it comes with complimentary cheesy bread. | 还加送干酪面包 |
| [07:56] | I’m not sure it was such a great idea | 我觉得吃完这些油腻的披萨 |
| [07:57] | to eat all this greasy pizza before we hold hands. | 再围坐握手不是个好主意 |
| [08:00] | I don’t know, just wipe it on your shirt. | 我没意见 用衣服擦擦就好 |
| [08:02] | That’s what I do. | 反正我是这么干的 |
| [08:03] | Yep. Everyone can see that. | 是 大家都看得到 |
| [08:05] | And everyone can also see where you caressed by boob. | 还看得到你抓我胸部的位置 |
| [08:08] | Shh, shh. The portal’s opening. | 鬼界之门要打开了 |
| [08:11] | I’m feeling the presence of a spirit. | 我感受到鬼的存在了 |
| [08:14] | Go ahead, ask him whatever you want. | 开始吧 随便问 |
| [08:17] | Uh… I have a question for the big guy. | 我有个问题 |
| [08:21] | Hammerhead sharks, duckbill platypuses– | 锤头鲨和鸭嘴兽是不是 |
| [08:23] | were you just throwing leftover parts together at that point? | 当时你用剩下的东西随便拼出来的 |
| [08:28] | Let me try. | 让我试试 |
| [08:30] | Hello… Mr. Spirit. | 你好啊 鬼魂先生 |
| [08:34] | Hello. I’m Virginia Chance. | 我叫维吉妮亚·吉斯 |
| [08:37] | I live here. | 我住在这 |
| [08:39] | You already know that from folding my underwear. | 你叠我内裤的时候应该就晓得了 |
| [08:42] | Which, uh, thank you for that, by the way. | 对了 谢谢你的帮忙 |
| [08:46] | Are you always that friendly? | 你一直都这么友善吗 |
| [08:48] | I sense he is benevolent | 我感觉得出来他人不错 |
| [08:51] | and means you no harm. | 而且对你们没有恶意 |
| [08:53] | Who is he? Where does he come from? | 他是谁 什么地方来的 |
| [09:00] | Tyler, how many times I gotta tell you? | 泰勒 我得跟你说多少次 |
| [09:03] | Get a haircut. | 拜托去剪个头 |
| [09:04] | God, I think it’s his grandma. | 天 我觉得是他奶奶 |
| [09:06] | Who you calling grandma, grandma? | 你叫谁奶奶呢 |
| [09:09] | I remember from those six Martin Lawrence movies, | 据我看过的六部马丁·劳伦斯[影星]电影推测 |
| [09:12] | this is exactly what an old black grandma sounds like. | 这声音明显是个黑人老奶奶 |
| [09:15] | Tyler, I told you, quit hanging around these crazy honkeys. | 泰勒 别跟这些傻白鬼瞎混了 |
| [09:23] | Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. | 真是抱歉 |
| [09:25] | Did she say anything bad? | 她说了什么坏话没 |
| [09:26] | She’s a bit of a racist. | 她有点种族歧视 |
| [09:28] | So, you definitely felt our ghost? | 你真的感觉到我家的鬼了 |
| [09:30] | He was a good spirit, right? | 他人很好 对吧 |
| [09:32] | I mean, I’m sure you get this all the time but | 我知道这问题你都被问吐了 |
| [09:33] | when I go to heaven will I be anatomically correct? | 不过还是想知道 登天后生理结构还会正常吗 |
| [09:36] | ’cause the angel I put on the Christmas tree’s | 我挂在圣诞树上面的那些天使 |
| [09:37] | got nothing going on under his robe. | 他们裤衩里都空荡荡的 |
| [09:39] | No, it’s not the holy ghost, it’s just a ghost. | 他不是圣灵 只是鬼魂罢了 |
| [09:42] | Sorry, Burt. | 对不住了 伯特 |
| [09:43] | Now I gotta go home and clear the history on my browser. | 我得回家把浏览器的历史记录删了 |
| [09:46] | Grandma will not be happy if she finds out | 奶奶要是知道我在网上看白妞 |
| [09:48] | I was looking at white women on the computer. | 肯定会生气的 |
| [10:27] | Oh, hey, Burt. | 你好 伯特 |
| [10:27] | You’re out of fabric softener. | 你家织物柔软剂用完了 |
| [10:35] | What the hell, Burt? | 搞毛啊 伯特 |
| [10:36] | You didn’t have to hit me. | 也不用打我吧 |
| [10:38] | Of course I had to hit you. | 我当然得打你 |
| [10:39] | You’re a creepy stranger in my house at night. | 你是陌生人 极具危险性 还深夜闯进我家 |
| [10:41] | You meet all the qualifications of someone I should hit. | 符合所有被打条件 |
| [10:43] | What do you mean? I’m not a stranger. | 你什么意思啊 我又不是陌生人 |
| [10:44] | I’m the guy who watches your sex tape. | 我可是看过你性爱录像的 |
| [10:46] | Hey! No-no-no. I mean, I mean, | 别介啊别介 我是说 |
| [10:48] | my wife and I, we found your sex tape. | 我跟我老婆发现了你们的性爱录像 |
| [10:51] | Don’t you remember? | 你不记得了吗 |
| [10:52] | You hid it in an old clown doll which we ended up finding. | 它藏在一个破小丑玩偶里 后来被我们发现了 |
| [10:55] | My wife and I watched that tape over and over again. | 我跟我老婆不知疲倦地看了一遍又一遍 |
| [10:58] | Not for the sex, but because seeing how you two related | 不是冲着动作大戏 而是你们之间的互动 |
| [11:01] | to each other really helped out our marriage. | 真的挽救了我们的婚姻 |
| [11:04] | Oh, yeah, I remember. | 我想起来了 |
| [11:05] | So what the hell are you doing in my house? | 那你在我家干嘛 |
| [11:07] | Well, my wife and I had an argument | 我跟老婆吵了一架 |
| [11:08] | and I went a little overboard and left. | 我一气之下就离开了 |
| [11:10] | So I came to ask for your advice | 所以我就想来问问你的意见 |
| [11:11] | and… uh… the door was unlocked. | 正好 门又没锁 |
| [11:13] | You weren’t home, I had to go to the bathroom. | 你不在家 所以我就去了卫生间 |
| [11:15] | So I opened the wrong door, found a closet, | 结果开错门了 发现一个橱柜 |
| [11:17] | saw a hatch in the floor, discovered a bomb shelter. | 看到地板上有个活动口 然后找到了一个防空洞 |
| [11:19] | It’s pretty self-explanatory. | 剩下的就不用多说了吧 |
| [11:22] | We got a bomb shelter? | 我家有防空洞 |
| [11:27] | No wonder we never knew this existed. | 怪不得我们从来不知道还有这个地方 |
| [11:29] | This is really small. | 这地方真小 |
| [11:31] | I don’t think paw paw was planning to save the whole family. | 爷爷挖这个洞肯定不是为全家人建的 |
| [11:33] | Burt! | 伯特 |
| [11:34] | Yeah, been down here a couple weeks now. | 在这待了几个星期了 |
| [11:37] | I can overhear everything through this vent. | 透过这个通风口我什么都能听到 |
| [11:38] | Could you bring me a glass of water, honey? | 能给我带杯水过来吗 亲爱的 |
| [11:41] | Hmm, see? You guys are always so sweet to each other. | 看见没 你们总是这么腻歪歪的 |
| [11:44] | My wife and I, we don’t communicate like that. | 我跟我老婆就从来不这么交流 |
| [11:46] | That’s why I stayed. | 所以我才要留下来 |
| [11:47] | I’m learning valuable stuff from you guys. | 我从你们身上学到了宝贵的经验 |
| [11:50] | Like how to wash my wife’s underwear? | 比如怎么洗我老婆的内衣吗 |
| [11:52] | Well, I felt like I owed you guys, | 我总觉得亏欠你们点什么 |
| [11:54] | so I started doing stuff around the house. | 所以我就开始在这房子里干点事情 |
| [11:55] | Look, I will say the way you starched my Foghat t-shirt | 我承认 你熨烫衣服的手艺 |
| [11:58] | is… otherworldly. | 真是鬼斧神工 |
| [12:01] | But you can’t just be spying on us, | 但你不能在这监视我们 |
| [12:02] | and pretending to be a ghost. | 还装神弄鬼的 |
| [12:03] | That wasn’t my plan at first. | 我也不想的 |
| [12:07] | Then I overheard Virginia talking about | 只是因为无意中听到维吉妮亚说 |
| [12:10] | losing her sense of wonder and I wanted to help. | 失去对神秘事物的热爱了 我就想帮个忙 |
| [12:12] | That’s why I stacked the furniture. | 所以就把家具摞了起来 |
| [12:14] | This is terrible. | 完蛋了 |
| [12:17] | Virginia loves having a ghost. | 维吉妮亚就喜欢有鬼 |
| [12:18] | If she finds out all this is just you, | 如果她发现这都是你搞的鬼 |
| [12:20] | she’s going to be devastated. | 她会崩溃的 |
| [12:21] | I’m sorry, Burt. Once again, I go overboard, | 对不起 伯特 再说一遍 我太冲动了 |
| [12:24] | I create more problems than I solve. | 惹了一堆烂摊子却没法解决 |
| [12:26] | Christy is right. | 克里斯蒂说得对 |
| [12:27] | Every time I find myself in a good situation, I make it bad. | 我就是擅长把好事搞砸 |
| [12:34] | That’s it. | 对了 |
| [12:36] | What if we scare her? | 不如我们吓吓她吧 |
| [12:39] | The only reason Virginia likes you is ’cause | 维吉妮亚之所以喜欢你 |
| [12:40] | she thinks you’re a friendly ghost. | 是因为你是一个好鬼 |
| [12:41] | But what if you were a bad ghost? | 但如果你是个恶鬼呢 |
| [12:43] | Then she’d be happy you left, | 那你走了她一定会很开心 |
| [12:45] | and she’d still believe in magical stuff. | 而且她仍然会相信那些神神鬼鬼的东西 |
| [12:46] | Sure, I guess it’s worth a try. | 可以一试 |
| [12:48] | Hey, you know what? I could scare her in the shower. | 这样吧 我可以在她淋浴的时候吓她 |
| [12:50] | That’s what they always do in horror movies. | 恐怖电影里都是这么演的 |
| [12:52] | I… | 我 |
| [12:53] | think anything in the bathroom crosses a line. | 觉得浴室里的事你还是别想了 |
| [12:56] | Hey, Burt… | 伯特 |
| [12:57] | I’ve watched your sex tape thousands of times; | 你们的性爱录像我都看了不下千遍了 |
| [13:00] | Nothin’ I ain’t seen before. | 早就一览无遗了 |
| [13:08] | That’s like in that movie, poltergeist. | 就跟那电影里一样 捣蛋鬼 |
| [13:12] | Creepy… | 好吓人 |
| [13:21] | Burt, Burt, do you hear that? | 伯特 伯特 你听到了吗 |
| [13:23] | Where do you think it’s coming from? | 这声音哪来的 |
| [13:26] | It’s probably just the wind. | 只是风声吧 |
| [13:37] | Or it’s the restless souls | 也可能是埋在房子下面的 |
| [13:39] | of the native American children buried beneath the house. | 土著儿童们不得安息的鬼魂 |
| [13:46] | Oh, there’s nothing scarier than the burp of a dead child. | 没有比鬼娃打嗝更可怕的了 |
| [14:06] | Oh, god. Move it. Oh. | 天呐 走开 |
| [14:18] | I’m scared. Aren’t you scared? | 我好怕怕 你怕吗 |
| [14:20] | This is scary. | 太吓人了 |
| [14:21] | I know. I don’t care what Tyler thinks about his grandma… | 对 我不管泰勒对他奶奶是什么看法 |
| [14:25] | We’re having an exorcism. | 我们必须得驱鬼 |
| [14:38] | Oh, demented spirits of the laundry, | 亲爱的洗衣店疯鬼 |
| [14:41] | please forgive us for unstacking your furniture. | 请原谅我们拆掉您的家具 |
| [14:43] | We needed a place to sit and the armoire seemed precarious. | 我们要空出位子来坐 那橱柜好像也不太安全 |
| [14:52] | He hears you. | 他听到你了 |
| [14:54] | It’s working. | 有用哎 |
| [14:55] | Do you smell that? | 你闻到了吗 |
| [14:57] | The spirit is close. | 鬼就在附近 |
| [14:59] | The spirit could use a shower. | 那鬼可能在淋浴 |
| [15:03] | Man… I can’t believe this is working. | 天呐 不敢相信这真见效了 |
| [15:05] | I’m gonna be honest with you, | 说实话 |
| [15:07] | I’m a little freaked out. | 我有点怕怕 |
| [15:09] | It’s never gone this well before. | 以前从来没这么顺利过 |
| [15:11] | Tell him to leave. Tell him to leave! | 让他走 让他走 |
| [15:12] | Uh… Leave! | 走开 |
| [15:14] | Ow! Damn it. | 艾玛 完蛋了 |
| [15:17] | “Ow”? What kind of a ghost says, “Ow”? | 艾玛 鬼还会说”艾玛” |
| [15:20] | He didn’t say “ow.” He said, uh… | 他说的不是”艾玛” 他是说 |
| [15:23] | “Out. I want to get out.” | 妈哎 我要出去 |
| [15:27] | Burt, are you okay? | 伯特 你没事吧 |
| [15:30] | He-he’s not Burt anymore. | 他已经不是伯特了 |
| [15:32] | I think the ghost has taken possession of him. | 他应该被鬼上身了 |
| [15:34] | Yeah-yeah-yeah. | 对对对 |
| [15:35] | That’s exactly what’s happened. | 没错 |
| [15:36] | I am the ghost… | 我是鬼 |
| [15:38] | And I am very, very real. | 我是绝对真实的存在 |
| [15:45] | Way to go, Burt, put on a show. | 就这样 伯特 最佳男主角就是你 |
| [15:50] | Do something! Do something! | 救救他 快救救他 |
| [15:53] | Do you want your name on a piece of rice? | 想让你的名字浮现在米饭上吗 |
| [15:55] | Get out…! | 滚粗 |
| [15:56] | Well, I’m out of ideas. Better go. | 我没辙了 先撤了 |
| [15:58] | No! Don’t go! | 不 不要走 |
| [15:59] | Damn it, ghost, give me back my husband! | 该死的鬼 把我的丈夫还给我 |
| [16:02] | Okay…! | 好吧 |
| [16:13] | Is that it? Did the ghost leave? | 好了吗 鬼走了吗 |
| [16:15] | I think so. | 我想是的 |
| [16:30] | I think I can hear the spirit rushing out. | 我想我可以听到鬼跑出去的声音 |
| [16:37] | Oh, yeah, now I can hear it, too. | 是啊 我也听见了 |
| [16:40] | Quick question: where’s the water main shut off valve? | 快速问答 水管的主阀门在哪儿 |
| [16:44] | Oh, my god! | 天啊 |
| [16:45] | What is Jim the sex tape guy doing in our house?! | 那个偷看性爱录像的吉姆怎么会在我们家 |
| [16:56] | I shut the water off. | 我把水关了 |
| [16:58] | Problem solved. | 问题解决 |
| [16:59] | What a crazy adventure, huh? | 真是一段疯狂的冒险 是吧 |
| [17:01] | So… who wants to watch Robocop? | 谁想看《机械战警》啊 |
| [17:04] | I can’t believe you lied to me about pervy Jim! | 我真不敢相信你在变态吉姆这件事上骗了我 |
| [17:07] | I’m sorry. When you broke your one-of-a-kind sasquatch pigurine, | 对不起 当你敲碎你那独一无二的猪猪侠时 |
| [17:10] | it broke my heart. | 我的心都碎了 |
| [17:11] | And I hated that you stopped believing in stuff. | 我讨厌看到你对事物失去信仰 |
| [17:13] | And I don’t want Hope to grow up in a world | 我不希望喜旺所生活的世界里 |
| [17:14] | where she’s told it’s wrong to still believe in UFOs and fairies | 别人告诉她 外星飞碟 精灵以及连体双胞胎 |
| [17:18] | and siamese twins. | 根本不存在 |
| [17:19] | This is beautiful, | 太感人了 |
| [17:21] | the fact that you have a husband who cares enough about you | 你的丈夫真是太在乎你了 |
| [17:23] | to go out of his way to make you believe in things. | 他愿意费尽全力 让你依然相信一些东西 |
| [17:26] | That’s the real magic. | 那才是真正的魔力 |
| [17:27] | Exactly. I’m the real magic. | 对极了 我就是真正的魔力所在 |
| [17:29] | I guess it was kind of sweet of you in your own messed up, | 你虽然有点扭曲变态蛇精病 |
| [17:33] | twisted, misguided, warped… | 但你的做法还是挺窝心的 |
| [17:35] | Yes, yes, I love you, too. | 是的 我也爱你 |
| [17:40] | This is what Christy and I need in our relationship. | 这正是克里斯蒂和我之间所需要的东西 |
| [17:43] | you know, a real, true, understanding of one another | 就是真正的相互理解 |
| [17:45] | And a willingness… to forgive. | 以及互相谅解的意愿 |
| [17:47] | Hey, you know what? | 话说 不如这样吧 |
| [17:49] | Would you maybe be willing to go to talk to her for me? | 你们愿意帮我去跟她谈谈吗 |
| [17:53] | I… don’t know. | 说不好诶 |
| [17:54] | But she respects your relationship so much. | 她很崇拜你们之间的关系 |
| [17:56] | We really wouldn’t know what to say. | 我们真的不知道该说什么 |
| [17:58] | Yeah, you’re right, I should go. | 是啊 你说得对 我该走了 |
| [17:59] | There’s a load of delicates in the wash, | 洗衣机里有好多内衣在洗 |
| [18:01] | and there’s a… cake in the oven | 而且烤箱里有个蛋糕 |
| [18:03] | that should be taken out in about 20 minutes. | 大约20分钟后就该取出来了 |
| [18:07] | It’s in the shape of a heart. | 是心形的哦 |
| [18:08] | I’ll get my coat. | 我去拿外套 |
| [18:09] | I’ll get my keys. | 我去拿钥匙 |
| [18:13] | So, you’re just a strange man | 你就是那个晚上在我 |
| [18:15] | sneaking around my bedroom at night? | 卧室里晃悠的陌生男子吗 |
| [18:17] | Well, I guess I’m going to bed. | 我觉得自己要去睡觉了 |
| [18:19] | By myself. No risk of pregnancy. | 就我一个人 没有怀孕的风险 |
| [18:23] | I’ll never remember. | 事后我会忘得一干二净 |
| [18:25] | You’ll never forget. | 你却会刻骨铭心 |
| [18:41] | Hey, uh… I’m just gonna wait in the car. | 那个 我就在车里等着吧 |
| [18:43] | You know, if she sees me she’ll probably freak out. | 如果她见到我 可能又会发疯 |
| [18:45] | So, will you just tell her I really love her… | 你们能帮我告诉她 我真的很爱她吗 |
| [18:48] | And I’m really, really sorry for going overboard. | 我对自己的冲动感到非常抱歉 |
| [18:51] | Got it. | 明白了 |
| [18:54] | You know, for someone who handled all our underwear, | 对于一个帮我们清洗了所有内衣裤 |
| [18:57] | secretly lived in our house | 秘密住在我们家 |
| [18:59] | and obsessively watched our sex tape, | 并且痴迷于我们性爱录像的人来说 |
| [19:01] | he’s actually a sweet guy. | 他人其实不错 |
| [19:02] | But we’re on the same page? | 但我们现在的立场是一致的吧 |
| [19:04] | If he comes to our house again we’re calling the cops. | 如果他再跑去我们家 我们就得报警 |
| [19:05] | Oh, definitely. | 必须的 |
| [19:08] | Oh, my god. Burt and virginia, what are you guys doing here? | 天啊 伯特和维吉妮亚 你们怎么会来 |
| [19:12] | Well, we spoke to Jim | 我们跟吉姆谈过了 |
| [19:14] | and there’s something we want to tell you. | 有些事我们想告诉你 |
| [19:15] | Is this some kind of a sick joke? | 你们这是什么鬼话 |
| [19:17] | I know you guys haven’t been together for a while. | 我知道你们分开有段时间了 |
| [19:20] | Yeah, because he died two months ago. | 是的 因为他两个月前去世了 |
| [19:24] | What? | 什么 |
| [19:25] | We were on a booze cruise to Cabo | 我们当时乘豪饮游艇去卡波玩 |
| [19:28] | And he was drinking rum runners by the gallon, | 他就狂喝朗姆鸡尾酒 |
| [19:31] | and he fell overboard. | 然后就摔下船淹死了 |
| [19:34] | Overboard. | 冲动[摔下船] |
| [19:36] | Overboard. Overboard. Overboard. | 冲动[摔下船] 冲动[摔下船] 冲动[摔下船] |
| [19:38] | Overboard. For going overboard. | 冲动[摔下船] 冲动[摔下船] |
| [19:40] | Overboard. Overboard. Overboard. Overboard. | 摔下船 摔下船 摔下船 摔下船 |
| [19:43] | Overboard. Overboard. | 摔下船 摔下船 |
| [19:46] | So… what message could you possibly have? | 他都死了 你们还要传达什么消息 |
| [19:52] | We ran into him at the drugstore… the day before the cruise. | 在你们出游前一天 我们在药房碰到过他 |
| [19:57] | while he was buying seasickness medication. | 他当时在买晕船药 |
| [20:00] | – Right, Burt? – Yep. | -对吧 伯特 -是啊 |
| [20:01] | And… he said how | 然后 他告诉我们… |
| [20:04] | excited he was about the cruise | 他对游艇旅行有多兴奋 |
| [20:07] | – and… – How much he loved you. | -以及 -他有多爱你 |
| [20:12] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [20:18] | Well, thank you. That really means a lot. | 谢谢 这些话对我来说意义非凡 |
| [20:21] | Okay, so, now that we know you’re good, | 现在我们知道你没事 |
| [20:23] | we should probably get going. | 我们或许也该回去了 |
| [20:24] | – Do you want to come in? – No. | -你们想进来坐坐吗 -不 |
| [20:25] | No. No. You’re a widow, | 不 不 你是个寡妇 |
| [20:27] | so you should probably be alone right now. | 你还是一个人待着比较好 |
| [20:30] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [20:33] | That was weird. | 真的好诡异啊 |
| [20:35] | Virginia, look. | 维吉妮亚 快看 |
| [20:39] | 谢谢 再见 | |
| [20:49] | Okay, so, maybe he just jumped off the boat | 行了 他或许是自己跳下船 |
| [20:53] | so he could fake his own death and collect insurance money. | 假装死亡 然后骗取保险金 |
| [20:55] | But then why would he live in our basement | 那他为什么要住在我们家地下室里 |
| [20:56] | and fold our laundry, | 并且帮我们叠衣服 |
| [20:57] | When he could be livin’ it up on some beach in Wisconsin? | 他明明可以躲到威斯康辛州的湖景房里 |
| [21:00] | It makes perfect sense, you guys, he’s a ghost. | 那完全说得通啊 各位 他就是个鬼 |
| [21:02] | You can’t really prove that. | 你无法证明这一点 |
| [21:04] | I don’t need proof. | 我不需要证据 |
| [21:05] | It’s called belief, not fact, for a reason. | 信仰之所以叫信仰而不是事实 就是这个原因 |
| [21:07] | And I choose to believe. | 我愿意相信这是真的 |
| [21:09] | I am so happy to have my open-minded, UFO believing, | 我很高兴我那思想开明 相信飞碟 |
| [21:12] | mermaid rights activist back. | 并且愿意替美人鱼争取权利的老婆又回来了 |
| [21:14] | Now who wants cake? | 这可能是鬼做的蛋糕 |
| [21:16] | That may or may not have been made by a ghost. | 谁想尝尝吗 |