时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:00] | Yes. Perfect! | 太完美啦 |
[00:02] | Excellent! | 超棒的 |
[00:03] | Well, that puzzle only took four hours. | 嗯哼 也才拼了四小时而已 |
[00:06] | Maybe now they’ll finally go home. | 现在他们总该回家了吧 |
[00:07] | Okay, who wants to watch a movie? | 谁想看部电影呀 |
[00:09] | Me, movie! | 人家想看 |
[00:10] | No, no, no, no, no, no. | 不行不行不行 |
[00:12] | Hope, you gotta go to bed, honey, | 喜旺宝贝儿 你得去睡觉了 |
[00:14] | ’cause you got school tomorrow. | 明天还要上学呢 |
[00:15] | Come on, please. | 求求你啦 |
[00:16] | Come on, please. | 求你了啦 |
[00:17] | I got Lord of the Rings: Return of the King | 我带来了《指环王:王者归来》 |
[00:19] | “Limited Edition.” | 还是限量版呢 |
[00:20] | Don’t you have to go home for Maw Maw? | 你们不用回家照看曾奶奶吗 |
[00:22] | Oh, we didn’t tell you. | 哦我们还没告诉你 |
[00:24] | She’s with the Dead now. | 她现在跟死人混在一起了 |
[00:25] | What?! | 啥 |
[00:29] | Later on, suckers. | 回见 臭屌丝 |
[00:31] | I’m going on a long, strange trip with Syrup Sam. | 我要和糖浆山姆走一趟奇异的长途旅行 |
[00:37] | I’ll be back when I’m either grateful or dead. | 待到老娘归来时 不是感恩便是死 |
[00:40] | Okay, you guys do realize that the Grateful Dead broke up, right? | 你们知道感恩而死乐队已经解散了对吧 |
[00:40] | Grateful Dead 迷幻摇滚乐队 95年成员去世 乐队即告解散 | |
[00:43] | Yeah, but she doesn’t know that. | 我们知道啊 但奶奶不知道 |
[00:45] | Come on, this will be great. | 求你啦 看电影超棒的 |
[00:46] | I heard this version has an extra 20 minutes | 我听说这个版本里足足多了20分钟 |
[00:48] | of just watching Hobbits sleep. | 就演霍比特人睡觉 |
[00:51] | Uh… actually, if you guys don’t mind, uh… | 实在不好意思 |
[00:55] | we have to get up early. | 但我们明天还要早起呢 |
[00:56] | What for? | 去干啥 |
[00:57] | Spin class. | 上转圈圈课 |
[00:58] | Uh… yeah! | 是啊 |
[00:59] | We’ve gotten pretty good at it. | 我俩现在转圈很厉害的 |
[01:01] | Well, that is good. Can you go faster? | 是还不错 能再快点不 |
[01:20] | What the hell, guys? | 你们这又是干啥 |
[01:22] | What? We took up finger painting. | 咋了 我们画画手指画而已 |
[01:23] | What’s wrong with that? | 你有意见吗 |
[01:24] | Yeah, we don’t judge you | 我们也没因为你买了四件一样的T恤 |
[01:25] | for wearing the same stupid four shirts. | 而歧视你丫 |
[01:27] | Yeah, we get it, | 我们懂你 |
[01:27] | you like pancakes. | 你就是喜欢小松饼嘛 |
[01:29] | Guys, we just got Hope’s report card, | 我们刚拿到了喜旺的出勤报告 |
[01:31] | and it says she’s been absent 18 times. | 她逃了18次课 |
[01:33] | None of which were excused by us. | 没一次是经过我们同意的 |
[01:36] | Do you know anything about this? | 你们知道是咋回事不 |
[01:38] | No! We stopped caring about report cards | 不知道 你上一年级时 |
[01:40] | -when you were in the first grade. – Both times. | -我们就不鸟那破报告了 -这次也是 |
[01:42] | The school said that you guys have been | 学校说你们总是上课上了一半 |
[01:44] | picking her up in the middle of the day | 就去接她 |
[01:45] | and bringing her back before it ends. | 把她带回家 |
[01:46] | Guys, we know you love Hope | 我们知道你们爱喜旺 |
[01:48] | and we know you want to spend time with her, but… | 也知道你们想和她呆在一起 但是 |
[01:50] | she’s gotta be in school. | 她必须去上学 |
[01:52] | Well, forgive us for trying to be caring and involved grandparents. | 对不起 我们这爷爷奶奶对她爱爱爱不完 |
[01:59] | Why is the hot tub sneezing? | 浴缸为啥在叹气 |
[02:00] | What? | 啥 |
[02:07] | Serioursly, guys? | 真要这样吗 |
[02:08] | We miss her. She’s fun. | 我们想她 她很有趣 |
[02:09] | We’re like the Three Amigos. | 我们就是现实版的三剑客[喜剧电影] |
[02:11] | She’s Martin Short. | 她就是小矮子马丁[《三剑客》中比较矮的那个] |
[02:12] | Guys, I think you may have empty-nest syndrome. | 你们这是得了空巢老人孤独症吧 |
[02:15] | Does that syndrome give you headaches, | 那个病的症状包括头痛吗 |
[02:16] | or is that just ’cause you guys are here? | 还是因为你们来了 所以老子才头痛 |
[02:18] | No. It just means that you’re having some trouble | 不是 这个病的意思就是 |
[02:20] | adjusting to your family not living at home. | 你们无法习惯家人不在家 |
[02:22] | Ever since you and Hope left, | 自从你们把喜旺带走了后 |
[02:23] | we do have a lot of time on our hands. | 我们实在闲得蛋疼 |
[02:25] | What are we supposed to do? | 那我们能干啥 |
[02:26] | We can only have so much sex. | 我们就能滚床单滚床单滚床单 |
[02:28] | We certainly don’t want to work any more hours. | 我们肯定不乐意去干活 |
[02:30] | Um… then find ways to spend your time. | 那想办法打发时间啊 |
[02:32] | Hey, you could try volunteer work. | 可以试试做义工 |
[02:33] | Please, we’re not rich. | 现实点吧亲 我们又不是有钱人 |
[02:34] | We don’t have the luxury of working for free, Sabrina. | 免费干活什么的太奢侈了 塞布丽娜 |
[02:37] | Then get a dog and leave Hope out of it. | 那就养条狗 别总骚扰喜旺 |
[02:40] | All right. | 好吧 |
[02:43] | 纳什维尔动物收容所 世间没小家 善心无止尽 | |
[02:45] | I just don’t see why it has to be a dog, Virginia. | 维吉妮亚 我就不懂了 为啥非得养狗呢 |
[02:48] | Dogs are the natural enemies of gardeners. | 狗是园艺工的天敌啊 |
[02:49] | Burt, we need this. | 伯特 我们需要狗 |
[02:51] | Sabrina was right… | 塞布丽娜说得对 |
[02:52] | we have empty-nest syndrome. | 我们是患上空巢症了 |
[02:54] | So we either put a dog in our house, | 所以我们不然养只狗 |
[02:56] | or you uncork your vasectomy and put a baby in here. | 不然你就解开输精管 咱再生个孩子 |
[02:59] | And I’m warning you, Burt, | 而且我得先警告你 伯特 |
[03:00] | this ass is not gonna bounce back | 在我这把年纪生孩子 |
[03:01] | after baby number two at my age. | 产后小屁屁就不可能保持这么翘了 |
[03:03] | Welcome to the Natesville Animal Shelter. | 欢迎来到纳什维尔动物收容所 |
[03:07] | How can I help you? | 请问我能帮您什么吗 |
[03:08] | We’d like to rescue a dog. | 我们想要拯救一只狗 |
[03:10] | Aw… well, you don’t rescue them as much as they rescue you. | 与其说拯救一只狗 不如说它拯救你们把 |
[03:13] | Now who’s gonna be the dog’s master? | 谁将会成为狗狗的主人 |
[03:14] | We both will. | 我们俩 |
[03:15] | No! Not on my watch. | 不行 哥不同意 |
[03:17] | A dog can only have one alpha. | 一只狗只能要一个主人 |
[03:19] | Well, uh… I guess that’s me. | 好吧那就我吧 |
[03:22] | Uh… I’ll be right back. | 我出去一下 |
[03:23] | I saw an old friend on the way in. | 进来的时候碰到熟人了 |
[03:32] | Hello, Bartlett. | 你好呀 巴勒特 |
[03:33] | Guess you won’t be digging up | 你应该不会把我刚刚种好的树 |
[03:34] | my freshly planted succulents from in there, will you? | 挖得它爹都不认识吧 |
[03:37] | I wouldn’t want to be a pretty dog like you | 我要是一只像你这么漂亮的狗 |
[03:39] | in a place like this. | 我就不高兴呆在这种地方 |
[03:42] | I can’t tell you how excited I am to finally have a dog. | 能拥有一只狗我真是太兴奋了 |
[03:45] | I’ve wanted one forever. | 我一直都想要一只 |
[03:46] | Well, they’re a lot of responsibility. | 狗狗事儿很多 你得负责任 |
[03:48] | I started raising a baby in 11th grade, so, | 我高二就开始养小孩了 所以 |
[03:50] | if that doesn’t say responsible, I don’t know what does. | 如果这都不能证明责任感 那就没啥好说了 |
[03:53] | So, are there any other pets in the house? | 你们还养了别的宠物吗 |
[03:55] | Well, there’s something living in our chimney, | 我们的烟囱里有一些借住客 |
[03:57] | but we haven’t had a mouse in two years, | 但家里已经连续两年没有出现过老鼠了 |
[03:59] | so we don’t ask questions. | 所以我们觉得没问题 |
[04:01] | Says here, you’re not allowed to adopt. | 这上面显示你们没有领养资格 |
[04:03] | Your last name and address triggered an alert. | 你们的姓氏和住址引发了警告提示 |
[04:06] | You’re on a no-dog list. | 你们被列在禁狗人士名单上 |
[04:07] | What?! I told you, we’re incredibly responsible. | 啥 我跟你讲 我们超有责任感的 |
[04:10] | Our granddaughter’s gonna be very upset | 如果你不让我们领只小狗回去 |
[04:12] | if we come back to the car without a dog. | 我们孙女的小心脏会碎成渣渣的 |
[04:16] | Okay, Hope, what animal is this? | 喜旺 这是什么动物 |
[04:22] | Butter… | 蝴 |
[04:24] | Cat. | 猫 |
[04:25] | Jimmy… she knew this a year ago. | 吉米 她一年前就知道这个了 |
[04:30] | Jimmy, we have a problem. | 吉米 我们有麻烦了 |
[04:34] | Apparently, our last name and address got on a no-dog list. | 我们的姓氏和住址被列上了禁狗名单 |
[04:39] | Do you know anything about that? | 你知道是咋回事不 |
[04:40] | I may have had something to do with that. | 这事儿可能跟我有关系 |
[04:43] | Would you care to explain that… | 请生动活泼地描述一下当时的场景 |
[04:44] | in a way that we could visualize it as if we were there? | 好让我俩身临其境 |
[04:47] | Seven years ago I wasn’t the confident, | 七年以前我并不像现在这样 |
[04:49] | sexy ladies’ man I am today. | 是个自信又有魅力的少女杀手 |
[04:51] | I figured a four-legged wingman would help | 我觉得一只四腿的小帮手能改善我的处境 |
[04:53] | and I thought if one dog got me attention, | 而且我想如果一只狗能让人关注我 |
[04:56] | then two dogs might get me a little more. | 那两只狗就能让人更多关注我 |
[04:58] | And I was right. | 我一点儿也没错 |
[05:00] | Then I figured, if two dogs got me tonsil hockey, | 然后我又想 如果俩狗就能帮我上二垒 |
[05:02] | maybe five dogs would get me to fifth base. | 那五条狗就能助我上五垒了 |
[05:11] | And my plan worked perfectly. | 我的计划进行得非常顺利 |
[05:15] | Until the dogs decided that they had better things to do | 直到狗狗们在等我办事儿时 |
[05:17] | than wait around while I got some. | 自己也想找点乐子 |
[05:22] | I can’t believe you used to use stray dogs | 真不敢相信你以前居然利用流浪狗 |
[05:25] | to hook up with girls. | 去泡妞 |
[05:26] | Uh… excuse me. High school dropout working with his dad, | 真不好意思 我高中辍学 跟老爹干活 |
[05:29] | living with his parents. | 跟父母一起过 |
[05:30] | My toolbox wasn’t exactly overflowing. | 哥几乎没有社交圈可言好吗 |
[05:33] | Well, thanks to you, now we can’t adopt a dog. | 那真谢谢你了 现在我们不能领养狗了 |
[05:35] | Which I didn’t want in the first place, but your mom did… | 我本来就不想要 但你娘想要 |
[05:37] | and now we’re very disappointed. | 现在我们非常失望 |
[05:39] | This is horrible. I can’t believe you did this to us. | 这太过分 真不敢相信你竟然这样对我们 |
[05:41] | Every week I find out about some terrible thing | 每周我都能发现点小时候你们对我做过的 |
[05:44] | that you did to me as a kid! | 过分的事 |
[05:46] | Oh, when are you gonna stop living in the past? | 你究竟什么时候才能走出过去 不翻旧账 |
[05:49] | You gave me up for adoption. | 你们把我送去给人领养 |
[05:50] | You, you faked my childhood vacations. | 你们假造了我的童年假期 |
[05:52] | You ruined my credit! | 你们毁了我的信用记录 |
[05:54] | Okay, okay, fine. | 好吧好吧 |
[05:56] | Now we can’t adopt a dog, so I guess that makes us even. | 现在我们不能领养狗了 那就算扯平了 |
[06:00] | – Ah, Regina! Nice haircut. – Hi. Thanks. | -雷吉娜 发型不错 -谢谢 |
[06:03] | -I’ll have the usual. – Okay. | -我就来点和平时一样的 -好的 |
[06:07] | A hot dog… | 一个热狗 |
[06:09] | and I bet somebody wants a grape soda. | 我肯定有人还想要瓶葡萄苏打 |
[06:13] | Soda’s on me. | 苏打算我请 |
[06:14] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
[06:15] | Have a grape day. | 祝你今天乐”萄萄” |
[06:20] | Bye-bye, cutie. | 拜拜 小可爱 |
[06:27] | There you go. | 给你 |
[06:28] | Sabrina, you can’t leave me alone for a second. | 塞布丽娜 你真是一刻都不能离开我 |
[06:31] | God, did you eat found gum again? | 天哪 你这是又吃了别人嚼过的口香糖吗 |
[06:33] | No, but good guess. | 没有 不过猜得也不错 |
[06:34] | I just got hit on big-time by the wiener chick. | 刚刚那卖香肠的妹子勾搭我了 |
[06:36] | My charm and good looks just got us a free soda. | 我的魅力和帅气为我们带来了一瓶免费苏打 |
[06:38] | I’m pretty sure that soda was for Hope. | 我很肯定苏打是送喜旺的 |
[06:40] | Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was for me. | 我也肯定是送我的 |
[06:42] | Oh, my God. | 天哪 |
[06:44] | I just realized, Hope is your new dog. | 我懂了 喜旺是你的新狗狗 |
[06:50] | Hello? | 嘛 |
[06:52] | Excuse me, we figured out why our house was on | 我现在明白为啥咱家被列上 |
[06:55] | the no-dog list. | 禁狗人士名单了 |
[06:56] | It’s our idiot son. | 都怪我们的白痴儿子 |
[06:58] | But he doesn’t live with us anymore. | 但他现在不和我们住了 |
[06:59] | And if you’re worried about the “Idiot” Part, don’t. | 如果你还担心那白痴小子 这就没必要了 |
[07:01] | -We barely raised him. – Rules are rules. | -我们几乎没怎么养他 -我们按规矩走 |
[07:05] | Would a person who would harm an animal make you these? | 一个虐待动物的人会给你做这些吗 |
[07:09] | These cookies are shaped like things humans like. | 这些饼干被做成受人喜欢的形状 |
[07:12] | Boobs, cars, televisions. | 咪咪 汽车 电视 |
[07:14] | And these are shaped like things dogs like. | 这些被做成狗狗喜欢的形状 |
[07:17] | Bones, hydrants, mailman’s ass. | 骨头 消防水龙头 邮递员的屁股 |
[07:19] | I realize they all kind of look like lumps, | 我知道它们造型不怎么精美 |
[07:21] | but, we’re not cookie-cutter rich. | 因为我们没什么饼干模具 |
[07:23] | Wow, that took a lot of effort. Maybe I misread you. | 看起来你们很努力 也许我误会你们了 |
[07:25] | Unlike dogs, I can’t lick your hand | 我不是狗 不能舔舔你的手 |
[07:27] | and know what’s in your heart. | 就知道你想什么 |
[07:28] | So you’ll let us adopt a dog. | 那就是说你会让我们领养了 |
[07:29] | Not yet. In order to get you off the no-dog list, | 还没 为了把你们搞出禁狗名单 |
[07:32] | I have to put you through a three-day trial period, | 我要让你们进入三天试养程序 |
[07:34] | but then… | 然后 |
[07:35] | you’ll be dog owners. | 你们就可以养狗了 |
[07:37] | We’re so gonna kill it. | 我们一定会成功的[杀掉它] |
[07:38] | Not the dog, we’re gonna love it to death. | 不是杀狗 我们会爱它爱到死的 |
[07:46] | So… here’s what I think, | 我的想法是这样的 |
[07:48] | if it’s a girl, we should name it Puppy Dogstocking. | 如果是女孩子 我们就叫它狗仔堆 |
[07:51] | A boy, Spot. | 男孩子 就叫点点 |
[07:52] | Remember how long it took us to name Jimmy? | 记得我们花了多长时间给吉米取名吗 |
[07:54] | If we’d gone with our first instincts there, | 如果按第一直觉走的话 |
[07:56] | his name would be Parachute Pants Chance. | 他的名字就得是降落伞·裤子·吉斯了 |
[07:58] | There are things in this house | 房子里有一些我们20年来 |
[07:59] | we’ve been trying to kill for 20 years. | 都一直想干掉的东西 |
[08:00] | I’m sure we can keep a dog alive for three days. | 我肯定我们能让一只狗狗活着过完三天 |
[08:04] | Ooh, he’s here. | 他来了 |
[08:08] | Hey, Michael. We’re so excited to meet our new little friend. | 嗨 迈克尔 见到我们的新朋友真是太兴奋 |
[08:12] | I’m gonna take this little guy out of his crate. | 我要把这小家伙拿出笼子来 |
[08:14] | He’s a little skittish. | 他有点太活泼了 |
[08:16] | Come on. Hi. | 来吧 |
[08:18] | Say hello. | 打个招呼 |
[08:21] | Huh. This is a trial dog. | 这就是你们的试养狗狗 |
[08:23] | It’d be crazy to give you guys a real dog | 我又不傻 在你们证明自己之前 |
[08:24] | until you prove yourselves. | 不会给你们真狗 |
[08:26] | Oh, uh, that makes sense. | 也有道理 |
[08:28] | So you’re gonna live with us for three days? | 你要和我们住三天吗 |
[08:30] | No, he is. | 不 他要 |
[08:31] | Just pretend I’m not here. | 无视我就好 |
[08:37] | Now, you’re probably gonna want to tell him to be quiet. | 现在你们最好叫他安静点儿 |
[08:39] | Okay, quiet down, boy. | 别叫了宝贝儿 |
[08:41] | Good. Good. Caring but firm. | 好 好 语气要有爱 要坚定 |
[08:43] | Now, what are we gonna name this little angel? | 现在我们来给小天使取个名儿吧 |
[08:45] | – Puppet? – Come on, Burt. That’s too on the nose. | -叫手偶 -拜托 伯特 这也太直白了 |
[08:47] | – Nose. – Um. No, Burt. | -叫直白 -不要 伯特 |
[08:49] | How ’bout, um, Puppy Dogstocking? | 不如叫狗仔堆吧 |
[08:51] | No… he’s never going to be able | 名字这么长 |
[08:52] | to respond to commands with a name that long. | 他反应不过来的 |
[08:54] | Ah, man… we’re doing bad already. | 那我们已经办坏事儿了 |
[08:56] | Couch? Lamp? Snowboard? | 沙发 台灯 滑雪板 |
[08:59] | Burt, stop just naming things around the house. | 伯特 别再用房子里的东西命名了 |
[09:00] | – Angry Wife? – No, come on, you guys. | -愤怒的老婆 -别 拜托啊 |
[09:02] | Don’t fight. He’s going to pick up on your negative energy. | 别争了 别让负能量感染到小家伙了 |
[09:04] | Why don’t we name this little guy Jake? | 不然就叫这小家伙杰克 |
[09:08] | Jake! That’s perfect, he looks like a Jake. | 杰克 太完美了 它看着就像杰克 |
[09:10] | Yeah, he looks like a cute little Jake. | 是 就像一只可爱的小杰克 |
[09:12] | This is gonna be fun. | 肯定会有很有趣 |
[09:14] | Wait, are those doggy treats? | 诶 那是狗粮吗 |
[09:18] | Now, you don’t want to let him eat the whole bag, | 这个时候 你不能让他把袋子都吃了 |
[09:20] | otherwise he’s gonna have diarrhea in the house. | 否则他会拉肚子的 |
[09:22] | We got a lot of work to do. | 我们事儿多着呢 |
[09:26] | I don’t know if I want to this all crazy puppet dog trial. | 我不太想参加这个疯癫的玩具狗训练了 |
[09:29] | That guy seems nuts. | 那家伙跟傻子似的 |
[09:30] | It’s only for three days. | 就三天而已 |
[09:32] | It’s not gonna be that bad. | 没你想得那么糟糕 |
[09:34] | And besides, Burt, if we don’t fill the void in our lives | 再说了 伯特 如果我们没有小狗 |
[09:36] | with a dog, we are gonna keep taking Hope out of school. | 去填补空虚 我们就不会让喜旺去上学 |
[09:39] | And then she’s just gonna grow up to be an idiot. | 那她长大后就成白痴了 |
[09:41] | She’ll be Jimmy with boobs. | 她会变成有咪咪版的吉米 |
[09:44] | I just pictured Jimmy with boobs. | 画面感都出来了 |
[09:46] | Hey, guys. You put Jake outside a while ago. | 两位 你们把杰克晾在外面好一会了 |
[09:49] | If you keep him out too long, he’s gonna get depressed. | 太久的话 它会伤心的 |
[09:53] | Fine, I’ll do it. | 好吧 我配合 |
[09:58] | Ah, Now that he’s back with his owners, he’s very excited. | 它现在回到主人的怀抱了 非常兴奋 |
[10:00] | Okay. Now, tell him down. | 现在 命令它蹲下 |
[10:02] | Tell him down, because otherwise he’s gonna do this to his guests. | 叫它蹲下 否则它对客人也会这样 |
[10:04] | And remember, jumping leads to humping. | 记住 跳习惯了 它就会扑人的 |
[10:07] | Down, Jake! Down, boy! | 蹲下 杰克 赶紧的 |
[10:12] | Ooh… he just marked you as his owner. That’s a good thing. | 它刚刚认你做主了 这是好事啊 |
[10:14] | It means you’re important to him. | 说明你对它很重要 |
[10:15] | – Is that real pee? – If it was, would I do this? | -这是真的尿吗 -是真的话 我会这样吗 |
[10:20] | Maybe… | 不好说哦 |
[10:22] | Jimmy… I thought we were gonna have adult time. | 吉米 我以为我们要享受成人时光 |
[10:25] | I can’t believe we got a babysitter | 不敢相信我们请保姆 |
[10:26] | to just, like, come to the park. | 就是为了来这公园而已 |
[10:28] | I think you’re gonna be pretty impressed with what you see. | 等下你就会震惊的 |
[10:30] | Me in action without a prop. | 看好了 哥要孤身入虎穴了 |
[10:33] | All right. I’ll just try not to be too jealous. | 行 我尽量不吃醋 |
[10:38] | – Regina? – Hey. | -雷吉娜 -你好啊 |
[10:39] | Grape to see you. | 很高兴见到你 |
[10:41] | I’ll have the “Usual.” | 跟往常一样 |
[10:43] | One hot dog, coming up. | 一份热狗 马上好 |
[10:47] | – There you are. – Thank you. For you. | -给 -谢谢 这是给你的 |
[10:53] | Sure is hot out today. | 今天好热啊 |
[10:55] | Could use… something to wash this dog down. | 有什么能配这热狗的吗 |
[10:58] | Oh, of course. | 哦 当然有 |
[11:04] | Thanks so much. | 多谢 |
[11:05] | Uh, that’ll be a dollar. | 嗯 这要一块钱 |
[11:30] | I think the dog wants some of what you’re eating. | 我觉得这狗想吃你吃的东西 |
[11:33] | Sorry. Yeah. Here you go. | 抱歉 来 给你 |
[11:46] | Congratulations, you just killed Jake. | 恭喜你 你刚刚杀了杰克 |
[11:49] | Don’t you know how dangerous grapes are for dogs? | 你难道不知道葡萄对小狗有多危险吗 |
[11:51] | What? How can grapes be bad for dogs? | 什么 葡萄能对小狗怎么样啊 |
[11:53] | They’re… they’re colorful like onions and sweet like chocolate. | 它们跟洋葱一样鲜艳 跟巧克力一样甜 |
[11:56] | All things that can kill a dog. | 什么玩意都能弄死一只狗 |
[11:57] | Oh, my God, Burt. | 天呐 伯特 |
[11:59] | If that had been a real dog, we’d have killed it. | 那要是只真狗的话 我们已经杀了它了 |
[12:01] | I don’t want to kill a dog. | 我不想害死狗 |
[12:03] | Maybe this training isn’t so stupid. | 这训练似乎没那么傻 |
[12:05] | Please gi-give us another chance. | 再给我一次机会 |
[12:07] | No, I’m not sticking my hand in a dead puppet. | 我才不要把手伸进死狗里面 |
[12:08] | What are you, crazy? | 你有病啊 |
[12:09] | Jake’s gone, all right? | 杰克已经死了 好吗 |
[12:10] | We just have to deal with it. | 我们只是得面对这个事实 |
[12:12] | Way to go, Burt. You feel good about yourself? | 就该这么来 伯特 你感觉还好吗 |
[12:13] | Please, this is my fault. I didn’t take the training seriously enough, | 拜托 这是我的问题 我对训练不够认真 |
[12:16] | but Virginia’s right, we need a dog. | 但维吉妮亚说的对 我们需要一只小狗 |
[12:18] | There’s got to be something else we can do. | 肯定还有可以弥补的地方 |
[12:19] | All right, there’s one more thing I could do. | 好吧 还有一件事我能帮上忙 |
[12:25] | I’m going full retriever. | 我亲自上阵 |
[12:28] | Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. | 往前跑 往前跑 往前跑 |
[12:30] | Go get it. Go get it. | 去接住 去接住 |
[12:32] | Oh, good catch, boy. | 接得漂亮 小家伙 |
[12:35] | Okay, drop it. Drop it. | 好了 放下 放下 |
[12:38] | Say it with authority. You got to show me who’s boss. | 霸气一点 你得展示出来谁才是老大 |
[12:40] | – Michael, drop it. – Aah! | -迈克尔 放下 -好怕怕 |
[12:42] | Look at that. I asserted control. | 看到没 我控制住局面了 |
[12:44] | Yeah. And it was sexy. | 是啊 还很性感 |
[12:46] | I like Alpha Burt. | 我喜欢老大伯特 |
[12:47] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
[12:53] | That was amazing. | 太神奇了 |
[12:55] | You’re a natural born dog trainer. | 你天生就是个驯狗师 |
[12:56] | I know. And if Air Bud taught us anything, | 必须的 《飞犬巴迪》[电影]告诉我们 |
[12:59] | he can learn soccer, volleyball, | 这货学得会踢球 打排球 |
[13:00] | and how to foil a jewel heist. | 还会阻止珠宝抢劫烦 |
[13:02] | This is way more fun than playing with Hope. | 这比跟喜旺在一起好玩多了 |
[13:11] | Okay, y-you can’t let me pull that hard, okay? | 听着 你不能把我扯得这么紧 |
[13:13] | I could injure my throat. Now, shorten the leash | 会伤到我的喉咙的 把皮带弄短 |
[13:15] | and tell me to heel. | 命令我站稳了 |
[13:17] | Heel, boy, heel. | 站稳了 小家伙 |
[13:19] | Good job. . All right, now, here’s another thing | 干得好 现在还有一个事 |
[13:20] | I got to show you. | 得展示给你们看一下 |
[13:27] | Oh, yeah. | 啊 真爽 |
[13:30] | I know it’s a little weird, but it’s nothing to be embarrassed of. | 我知道这看着有点怪 但其实没什么好害羞的 |
[13:32] | It’s all part of going on a walk. | 这都是遛狗的一部分 |
[13:38] | Oh, I hope you guys brought a plastic bag. | 还有 我希望你们带塑料袋了 |
[13:42] | Yeah. Grab a couple. | 带两只吧 |
[13:49] | Hello. Mrs. Chance? This is Doris | 你好 是吉斯女士吗 我是纳什维尔 |
[13:52] | from the Natesville Animal Shelter. | 动物收容所的桃瑞丝 |
[13:54] | Your application has been approved. | 你的申请已经批准了 |
[13:56] | Really? But we’re only halfway through our trial period. | 真的吗 但我们的试用期才进行到一半啊 |
[13:58] | – Trial period? – Yeah, Michael says we’re doing great. | -试用期 -是啊 迈克尔说我们干得很好 |
[14:01] | Michael? Like, tall, red hair? | 迈克尔 高高的红头发 |
[14:03] | Crazy eyes? | 眼神看上去像个神经病 |
[14:04] | He only has crazy eyes when you challenge his dominance. | 有人挑战他的权威时 他才会那样 |
[14:07] | He’s an oddball who sometimes volunteers here, | 他是个神经病 有时会来这边当志愿者 |
[14:09] | but I certainly wouldn’t recommend letting him into your home. | 但我肯定不会他去你家 |
[14:13] | Good to know. | 我知道了 |
[14:16] | Who wants to go to the dog park? | 谁想去狗狗公园呀 |
[14:18] | I do. Yeah. | 我想去 |
[14:19] | Are you sure we’re doing the right thing here? | 你确定我们做这事靠谱吗 |
[14:21] | Absolutely. He’s got to be crazy. | 必须的 这货肯定是疯了 |
[14:23] | He spends all day working someplace for free. | 他居然免费来这工作了一整天 |
[14:25] | Who does that? A volunteer? | 谁会这么做啊 志愿者 |
[14:27] | No, a crazy person. | 不 是疯子才对 |
[14:29] | All right. | 好吧 |
[14:32] | You ready, boy? Ready, boy? | 准备好了吗 小家伙 准备好了吗 |
[14:34] | Go fetch. | 去接吧 |
[14:44] | Burt, Burt. | 伯特 伯特 |
[14:48] | Burt, Burt. | 伯特 伯特 |
[14:50] | Burt. Virginia! | 伯特 维吉妮亚 |
[14:54] | Finally, a real dog that can sniff our butts | 终于搞到一条真狗 就算它追着人屁股嗅 |
[14:56] | and it won’t be totally creepy. | 也不会看上去很变态 |
[14:57] | Welcome to your new home, Puppy Dogstocking. | 欢迎来到你的新家 狗仔堆 |
[15:00] | Now go have fun. | 玩去吧 |
[15:06] | Maybe he doesn’t like that name as much as we do. | 或许它不像我们那样喜欢这名字 |
[15:17] | It wasn’t the fresh air, Virginia. | 不是空气的原因 维吉妮亚 |
[15:18] | He’s still not doing much. | 它还是不爱动 |
[15:20] | Well, somebody chewed the heel off my church shoe. | 有人把我教堂鞋的鞋跟给啃掉了 |
[15:24] | Without the heel I’ll be three inches further away from God. | 没了鞋跟 我跟上帝的距离又远了3英寸 |
[15:28] | Having a real dog’s a lot different | 养一条真正的狗 |
[15:29] | – than I thought it would be. – Yeah. | -跟想象完全不一样啊 -是啊 |
[15:40] | We should have just gotten a snake. | 我们应该养条蛇的 |
[15:42] | They don’t do much either, but at least you know | 它们也不怎么活动 但至少你心里清楚 |
[15:43] | you’ll eventually get a belt. | 等它挂了 你还能做条皮带 |
[15:44] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[15:54] | Virginia, | 维吉妮亚 |
[15:55] | we adopted the Tasmanian Devil. | 我们领养的是塔斯马尼亚恶魔[袋獾] |
[15:57] | Or… another dog came in | 还是说 别的狗跑进来 |
[16:00] | and tore up the place | 把家里毁得一团糟 |
[16:01] | while our guy just laid there and watched. | 而我们家的狗就躺在一边看着 |
[16:03] | Either way, Puppy Dogstocking. | 不管怎样 都是狗仔堆的错 |
[16:39] | Oh, my God, Burt. | 天啊 伯特 |
[16:41] | We’re not dog people. | 我们喜欢的不是狗 |
[16:44] | We’re Michael people. | 我们喜欢的是迈克尔 |
[16:47] | 寻狗/人启示 如有发现 请致电5550167 | |
[16:57] | Hey, look at me, I’m Jimmy. | 嘿 看看我 我是吉米 |
[17:00] | I need a baby to pick up girls. | 出来泡妞 得带个小孩 |
[17:03] | Thanks for telling him, Sabrina. | 谢谢你告诉他 塞布丽娜 |
[17:05] | Very funny, Frank. | 真好笑啊 弗兰克 |
[17:06] | Wait a second– where did you get the…? | 等一下 你是从哪儿搞来… |
[17:07] | What the hell is wrong with you? | 你这人是不是脑子有毛病啊 |
[17:09] | Give me back my baby. | 把宝宝还给我 |
[17:17] | That’s more attention I’ve got from a woman in a long time. | 好久都没女人这么关注我了 |
[17:20] | What have I always told you? | 我一直以来是怎么跟你说的 |
[17:22] | Every customer here at Howdy’s has the reasonable expectation | 每位来到毫迪超市的顾客都至少不该担心 |
[17:25] | that their baby won’t be stolen by an employee. | 宝宝被店员偷走这种事 |
[17:29] | How did this happen? | 怎么会发生这种事 |
[17:30] | We’re just giving Jimmy a hard time. | 我们只是想糗一下吉米而已 |
[17:32] | Well, yeah, ’cause he’s been using Hope to flirt with women. | 是啊 因为他一直利用喜旺来勾搭妹子 |
[17:34] | I seem to remember you doing the same thing. | 我似乎记得你也做过同样的事啊 |
[17:37] | What? I’ve never used a baby to flirt with women. | 什么 我可没利用过宝宝来勾搭女人 |
[17:40] | Well, you used Hope to flirt with Jimmy. | 你曾经利用喜旺勾搭过吉米 |
[17:42] | We were all shocked because you hated kids. | 我们都很震惊 因为你以前很讨厌孩子的 |
[17:45] | Somebody’s filthy little child with chocolate on its face | 谁家的脏小孩 脸上糊满了巧克力 |
[17:48] | is here at the register. If someone would please come and get it. | 正站在收银台处 请赶紧过来领走 |
[17:54] | Honestly, anybody who’s willing to claim it. | 说真的 谁想来认领都行 |
[17:55] | I’m really not gonna ask questions. | 姐啥问题都不会问的 |
[17:56] | I just really want it gone. | 姐就想看到这熊孩子快点滚蛋 |
[18:01] | Oh, hey. Will you do me a favor? | 嘿 你愿意帮我一个忙吗 |
[18:02] | Will you watch this thing for a second? | 你能帮忙照看一下这个小东西吗 |
[18:04] | – That cute guy is back. – Which one? Sandy blond? | -那个帅哥又来了 -谁啊 金发男桑迪吗 |
[18:06] | No, no, floppy hair, big nose. | 不 是蓬松的头发 大鼻子那个 |
[18:10] | Oh, my God. She is so adorable. | 天啊 她真是太可爱了 |
[18:14] | I love kids. | 我就爱小盆友 |
[18:16] | Do you want to hold her? | 你想抱抱她吗 |
[18:17] | No, thank you. | 不用了 谢谢 |
[18:19] | Oh, I mean, I could just touch her for a second. | 我是说 我可以稍微摸摸她 |
[18:31] | I swear I love Hope now. I just… | 我发誓我现在很爱喜旺 只是… |
[18:33] | I wasn’t really much of a kid person before I met her. | 在遇到她之前 我并不怎么喜欢小孩子 |
[18:36] | Yeah, you didn’t even use your own prop. | 是啊 你勾搭我 用的都不是自家道具 |
[18:38] | – You had to use mine. – I’m sorry. | -居然用的还是我小孩 -对不起 |
[18:40] | You used my own daughter to try and get close to me? | 你利用我的女儿来接近我吗 |
[18:43] | That’s… | 那真是… |
[18:45] | awesome. | 太赞了 |
[18:47] | You liked me for me. | 你喜欢的是真正的我 |
[18:49] | I thought you were just into me because of Hope, | 我以为你是因为喜欢喜旺才喜欢上我的 |
[18:52] | but it was the other way around. | 但实际上是完全相反的 |
[18:53] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[19:05] | So, does your mom come here often? | 你妈妈经常来这里吗 |
[19:12] | Michael! | 迈克尔 |
[19:14] | Michael! | 迈克尔 |
[19:17] | Hey, there he is. | 嘿 他在那儿呢 |
[19:20] | Michael. | 迈克尔 |
[19:21] | Here, boy. Come here, boy. | 快过来 小家伙 过来 小家伙 |
[19:23] | – Good boy. – Good boy, | -真乖 -真乖 |
[19:24] | Come on, boy, good boy. | 快来吧 小家伙 真乖 |
[19:31] | Michael. Are you okay? | 迈克尔 你没事吧 |
[19:33] | I’m fine, I got a slight hip fracture. | 我没事 只是髋骨轻微碎裂 |
[19:35] | I’m gonna make a full recovery. | 我一定会完全康复的 |
[19:36] | I’m so sorry we left you in the park. | 我很抱歉把你丢在公园里了 |
[19:38] | No, you guys are great. Most people issue restraining orders. | 不 你们很好 大多数人都会申请限制令 |
[19:40] | I knew you were different | 我知道你们不一样 |
[19:41] | when you didn’t forget the plastic bags. | 因为你们没忘记把便便袋带走 |
[19:44] | Well, maybe when you get better, | 或许等你的身体好一点 |
[19:45] | we can work with you a little more on street safety. | 我们可以多教你一些马路安全的知识 |
[19:47] | Maybe you could still, uh, come over and we could play some Frisbee. | 你还能过来找我们 一起玩飞盘 |
[19:51] | I would love that. | 我很愿意 |
[19:55] | While, ultimately, a disturbed, lonely man in a dog suit | 最终 一个穿着狗狗装的孤独之人 |
[19:58] | didn’t fill the void in my parents’ lives… | 并未能填补我父母生活中的空虚 |
[20:01] | Virginia, look. | 维吉妮亚 看 |
[20:02] | …like Lassie, | 跟莱西一样 |
[20:03] | he led them to something that would. | 他也引领他们找到了真正需要的东西 |
[20:08] | Puzzles. | 拼图游戏 |
[20:30] | Oh, are you two new volunteers? | 你们是新来的志愿者吗 |
[20:31] | Oh, no, we’re not crazy. | 不 我们不是疯子 |
[20:34] | We’re happy to hang out for a bit, | 我们很乐意出来玩一会儿 |
[20:35] | read to the kids, maybe play some games. | 读书给孩子们听 或许玩些游戏 |
[20:38] | Yeah, we could even come back and make it a regular thing. | 是啊 或许下次还会来 当做生活的一部分 |
[20:40] | But we’re not volunteers. | 但我们不是志愿者 |
[20:41] | Only idiots work without getting paid. | 蠢蛋才会干些没钱拿的工作 |
[20:45] | And even though my parents found a way | 尽管我的父母已经找到了办法 |
[20:46] | to cure their empty-nest syndrome, | 来治疗他们的空巢症 |
[20:49] | they still had the occasional flare-up on the weekends. | 他们在周末时偶尔还会病发 |
[20:58] | Well, I’ve got bad news and worse news. | 我有一个坏消息 和一个更坏的消息 |
[21:02] | Jerry Garcia died ten years ago. | 杰瑞·加西亚[感恩而死乐队成员]都死十年了 |
[21:06] | And LSD does nothing for me. | 另外 迷幻药对我来说 没有任何效果 |