| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:32] | Principal Vagina here don’t let the name fool you. | 我是阴道校长 别被我的名字骗了 |
| [00:35] | I’m very much in charge reminding you | 我在此提醒你们 |
| [00:36] | that tonight is our annual flu season dance. | 今晚是我们的年度流感舞会 |
| [00:39] | I don’t know how many times I have to say this, | 我不知道这句话还要说几遍 |
| [00:41] | but if you have the flu, stay home. | 得了流感的同学请待在家里 |
| [00:43] | Hey. | 嗨 |
| [00:43] | The flu season dance is about awareness, not celebration. | 举办流感舞会是为了提高防范意识 不是为了庆祝 |
| [00:46] | you don’t bring dead babies to passover. | 不会有人带着死掉的婴儿过逾越节 |
| [00:49] | okay. Here we go. | 好吧 加油 |
| [00:50] | H-hey, Jessica. Uh… | 嗨 Jessica |
| [00:53] | What’s up, Morty? | 怎么了 Morty |
| [00:55] | what are you doing? | 你想干嘛 |
| [00:56] | um… | 呃 |
| [00:57] | Wait, wait. Were you about to talk… to her? | 慢着 你不会是打算和她说话吧 |
| [01:00] | well… I mean, I was thinking about it. | 我是想来着 |
| [01:03] | Dude, stay in your league. | 哥们儿 别瞎想了 |
| [01:05] | Look at how hot she is. | 瞧她多美 |
| [01:06] | You don’t see me going to a bigger school in a wealthier district | 你也没见我跑到更有钱的片区里更大的学校 |
| [01:09] | and hitting on their prettiest girl. | 去泡那儿最漂亮的妹子吧 |
| [01:11] | Gee, thanks, Brad. | 噢 谢谢 Brad |
| [01:12] | I throw balls far. | 这些傻屌别想靠近你 |
| [01:13] | You want good words? Date a languager. | 想听好听的 去谈个话家啊(并没有languaer这个词) |
| [01:17] | try not to worry about it, Morty. | 别多想 Morty |
| [01:18] | You’re a good kid, and there’s not a premium on that right now, | 你是个好孩子 虽然现在还没有什么优势 |
| [01:21] | but you’ll be getting girls sometime after Brad’s out of shape. | 但等Brad发福以后 你就也能找到妹子啦 |
| [01:24] | You’re missing the point, dad. | 爸 你搞错重点了 |
| [01:26] | I don’t want girls. I want Jessica. | 我不要妹子 我要Jessica |
| [01:28] | ah, well, I remember feeling that way about | 我以前也对某个人有过这样的感觉呢 |
| [01:32] | a young lady named “Your mom,” | 这个人叫做”你妈” |
| [01:34] | And that’s not an urban diss. | 这不是在骂人啊 |
| [01:35] | Your mom was my Jessica. | 你妈妈就是我的Jessica |
| [01:37] | I remember the first time I saw her. I thought | 我还记得我第一次看到她的时候 我就在想 |
| [01:39] | “I should get her pregnant, and then she’ll have to marry me.” | “把她搞怀孕 她就得嫁给我了” |
| [01:41] | I beg your pardon, Rick inappropriate. | Rick 你这话不太合适吧 |
| [01:43] | Sorry, please proceed with your story | 抱歉 请接着讲 |
| [01:45] | about banging my daughter in high school. | 你高中时候搞我女儿的事迹吧 |
| [01:47] | I’m not sure you want to take romantic advice from this guy, Morty. | 感情方面的事儿你最好别听他的 Morty |
| [01:49] | His marriage is hanging from a thread. | 他的婚姻已经悬于一线了 |
| [01:51] | My marriage is fine, thank you. | 我的婚姻好的很 谢谢你啊 |
| [01:53] | Jerry, it’s your house | Jerry 这儿是你家 |
| [01:54] | whatever you say it is is how it is | 你说是什么就是什么吧 |
| [01:56] | but I think a blind man could see that | 但我觉得瞎子都能看出来 |
| [01:57] | Beth is looking for the door. | Beth想结束这段婚姻 |
| [01:59] | I barely have a reason to care, and even I noticed. | 这事儿我根本不在乎 也都发现了 |
| [02:01] | Come on, Rick! Don’t talk about my parents like that. | Rick 别这样说我的父母啊 |
| [02:03] | Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, | 听着 Morty 我也不想这么直白地告诉你 |
| [02:05] | but what people call “Love” | 但所谓的爱情 |
| [02:06] | Is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. | 不过是让动物繁衍后代的化学反应罢了 |
| [02:09] | It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, | 开始时让人头昏脑热 然后就慢慢消退 |
| [02:12] | leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. | 只留给你一段失败的婚姻 |
| [02:14] | I did it. | 我是这样 |
| [02:14] | Your parents are gonna do it. | 你父母也会是这样 |
| [02:16] | Break the cycle, Morty. | 别重蹈覆辙 Morty |
| [02:17] | Rise above. Focus on science. | 升华自我 专注科学 |
| [02:21] | All right, well, I’m gonna go get dressed for the dance. | 好吧 我去换舞会的衣服了 |
| [02:24] | Yeah, I’m just going to… check on your mom. | 我去 看看你妈妈 |
| [02:29] | Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh? | Morty 把螺丝刀递给我 |
| [02:32] | I’m almost finished making my ionic defibulizer, Morty. | 我的离子除颤器就要完成了 |
| [02:35] | It’s gonna be great. | 会很棒的 |
| [02:36] | Hey, listen, Rick. | 那个 Rick |
| [02:37] | Y-y-you know how you said that, | 你之前不是说 |
| [02:38] | you know, love is a chemical and all that stuff from earlier? | 爱情是一种化学反应什么的嘛 |
| [02:41] | Well, I was thinking, you know, | 我在想 |
| [02:42] | w-w could you make some sort of chemical thing | 你能不能让Jessica的脑子里 |
| [02:45] | happen inside of Jessica’s mind, you know, | 起点什么化学反应 |
| [02:47] | so where she falls in love with me and all that sort of thing? | 让她爱上我什么的 |
| [02:49] | You know, like, maybe make some sort of love potion or something? | 比如什么爱情药水之类的东西 |
| [02:52] | Morty, that’s such a poor use of my time. | 完全是浪费我的时间 |
| [02:54] | It’s beneath me. | 我不屑做这种事 |
| [02:54] | Hand me the screwdriver. | 把螺丝刀递给我 |
| [02:56] | you know what? No, Rick! | 不 Rick |
| [02:57] | I’m not gonna hand you the screwdriver. | 别想我把螺丝刀递给你 |
| [02:58] | I-I’m not gonna hand you anything ever again, Rick! | 别想我再给你递任何东西 |
| [03:01] | I’m always helping you with this and that and the other thing. | 我老是帮你做这个帮你做那个 |
| [03:03] | W-w-w-w-w-what about me, Rick? | 那那那那我呢 Rick |
| [03:06] | W-w-w-w-why can’t you just help me out once once, for once? | 你怎怎怎么就不能帮我一次呢 就一次 |
| [03:09] | You’re growing up fast, Morty. | 你还真是长大了啊 Morty |
| [03:11] | You’re growing into a real big thorn straight up into my ass. | 已经长成一个烦人的大麻烦了 |
| [03:14] | listen, this is called oxytocin. | 这个叫后叶催产素 |
| [03:16] | I extracted it from a vole. | 我从田鼠的身体里提取的 |
| [03:18] | Do you know what a vole is, Morty? | 知道田鼠吗 Morty |
| [03:19] | You know what a vole is? | 知道不 |
| [03:21] | It’s a it’s a rodent that mates for life, Morty. | 一种会结为终生伴侣的啮齿动物 |
| [03:23] | This is the chemical released in a mammal’s brain, you know, | 这是在哺乳动物大脑里分泌的一种激素 |
| [03:26] | that makes it fall in love. | 让它坠入爱河 |
| [03:27] | All right, Morty, I just got to combine it with some of your DNA. | Morty 我只需要把它和你的DNA混合起来 |
| [03:29] | oh, well, okay. | 噢 好的 |
| [03:31] | a hair, Morty. | 一根头发就行 Morty |
| [03:32] | I need one of your hairs. | 就要一根头发 |
| [03:33] | This isn’t “Game of thrones.” | 又不是《权利的游戏》(大尺度剧集) |
| [03:36] | all right, Morty. | 好了 Morty |
| [03:37] | Whoever you smear this stuff on | 只要你把这个抹在别人身上 |
| [03:38] | will fall in love with you, and only you, forever. | 这人就会爱上你 永远只爱你一个 |
| [03:41] | Are you happy now, Morty? | 开心了 Morty |
| [03:42] | heck, yeah! | 恩 |
| [03:42] | Thank you, grandpa Rick. | 谢谢 Rick外公 |
| [03:44] | Hey, there’s no… dangers or anything, or side effects, right? | 没有什么危险或者副作用吧 |
| [03:48] | w-w-w-what am I, a hack? | 你当我是什么二流科学家吗 |
| [03:49] | Go nuts, Morty. It’s foolproof. | 放心吧 Morty 绝对安全 |
| [03:54] | Eh, unless she has the flu. | 除非她得了流感 |
| [03:58] | Beth, do y-you still love me? | Beth 你还爱我吗 |
| [04:00] | ugh, what kind of question is that? | 这算是什么问题 |
| [04:01] | the “Yes or no” kind? | “爱”或者”不爱”的问题 |
| [04:03] | Jerry, do you want homeless people to have homes? | Jerry 你会想让流浪汉有房子住吗 |
| [04:06] | yes. | 想啊 |
| [04:07] | Are you gonna build them? | 那你会给他们修房子吗 |
| [04:08] | no. | 不会 |
| [04:09] | Then what good was the “Yes”? | 那一个肯定的回答又有什么意义呢 |
| [04:11] | wait, I-is loving me the house or the homeless people? | 等等 “爱我” 是房子还是流浪汉 |
| [04:14] | loving you is work, Jerry. | “爱你”是辛苦的劳动 |
| [04:16] | Hard work, like building a homeless shelter | 是给流浪汉修收容所的过程 |
| [04:19] | nobody wants to say no to doing it | 没有人”想”说不 |
| [04:21] | but some people put the work in. | 但总有人要付出努力 |
| [04:22] | So, what do you say? | 所以你说呢 |
| [04:23] | Do you see me working here? | 你觉得我有在努力吗 |
| [04:25] | Does this conversation seem tedious to me? | 我觉得这对话无聊吗 |
| [04:28] | Sort of. | 算是吧 |
| [04:28] | Then I obviously sort of love you, don’t I? | 那明显我也算是爱你的 |
| [04:31] | So stop asking, and maybe I’ll love you more. | 所以别问了 说不定我会更爱你一点 |
| [04:33] | Crap, they need me at the horse hospital. | 靠 我得去趟马医院 |
| [04:35] | Puh! This late? | 都这个点了 |
| [04:37] | The racetrack had a starlight derby. | 赛马场搞了场夜间德比赛 |
| [04:39] | There was a seven-horse collision, | 有七匹马撞上了 |
| [04:40] | and Davin’s there alone. | Davin一个人在那儿 |
| [04:42] | Davin Davin. | |
| [04:52] | *Flu, yo* | *流感 唷* |
| [04:53] | *you got to be aware* | *小心哦* |
| [04:54] | *aware of all the flu* | *流感哟* |
| [04:55] | *up in the air* | *空气里的流感* |
| [04:56] | *I’m-a get me a shot * | *给我一针* |
| [04:58] | *and make the flu go away * | *让流感滚* |
| [04:59] | *flu-hating rapper* | *反流感饶舌歌手* |
| [05:00] | *just rapping away * | *把流感唱走* |
| [05:01] | *yo, yo, flu-hating rapper * | *唷 唷 反流感饶舌歌手* |
| [05:03] | *it’s a flu-hating rap * | *反流感说唱* |
| [05:05] | hey, there, Jessica. | 嗨 Jessica |
| [05:06] | Whoa! Oh, whoopsie! | 哦 抱歉 |
| [05:10] | Oh, my god. Morty. | 天啊 Morty |
| [05:12] | You look really nice tonight. | 你今晚真帅啊 |
| [05:14] | Wow, thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [05:16] | I love you, Morty! | 我爱你 Morty |
| [05:17] | I love you so much, it burns! | 我爱你爱到心如火烧 |
| [05:19] | Oh, man! | 天啊 |
| [05:20] | I-I love you too, Jessica! | 我也爱你 Jessica |
| [05:23] | Is this punk bothering you, Jessica? | 这傻逼在骚扰你吗 Jessica |
| [05:25] | Leave him alone, Jerk! | 滚开 混球 |
| [05:26] | I’m in love with him! | 我爱他 |
| [05:28] | He is more man than you will ever be! | 你永远不可能像他这么男人 |
| [05:31] | *This is about flu awareness* | *要小心流感* |
| [05:33] | *got to be aware of the flu in the air-ness* | *小心空气中的流感* |
| [05:35] | *yo, I’m a flu-hating rapper * | *我乃反流感饶舌歌手* |
| [05:37] | oh, man, Morty. | 啊 Morty |
| [05:39] | I’m really sorry. | 真对不起 |
| [05:41] | oh, well, n-no problem, Brad. | 没事的 Brad |
| [05:44] | There’s something special about you, Morty, so special. | 你很特别 Morty 非常特别 |
| [05:47] | Whoa, take it easy! | 哇 你干嘛 |
| [05:49] | Get your hands off of him! | 别碰他 |
| [05:50] | Back off! I’m trying to be with my man! | 滚开 我要和我男人在一起 |
| [05:52] | That’s enough, Bradley! | 够了 Bradley |
| [05:53] | We don’t want you injuring your ball-throwing arm. | 别把你拿来赶走傻屌(投球)的手弄伤了 |
| [05:55] | Oh principal Vagina. | 阴道校长 |
| [05:57] | Never leave me, Morty. | 永远别离开我 Morty |
| [05:58] | Never! | 永远 |
| [05:59] | Hh, sure. | 好啊 |
| [06:00] | I mean, o-of course not. | 我当然不会离开你 |
| [06:03] | W-what do you think that was all about? | 你觉得刚才那是怎么回事 |
| [06:04] | Who cares? Just hold me. | 管他呢 快抱住我 |
| [06:06] | Let me go! I love you, Morty! | 放开我 我爱你 Morty |
| [06:10] | let go of me! | 放开我 |
| [06:12] | Morty Morty! | |
| [06:18] | she’s gonna be alone with that guy all night. | 她一晚上都要和那人待一起 |
| [06:21] | yeah, dad, digging around the insides of horses. | 在马身体里捣来捣去 |
| [06:23] | It’s not a very romantic setting. | 不是什么浪漫的场景啊 |
| [06:25] | well, Summer, there’s always the possibility | Summer 说不好啊 |
| [06:26] | that she made the whole work thing up. | 搞不好加班这个事儿就是她编的呢 |
| [06:28] | Maybe Davin’s digging around in her insides. | 说不定现在Davin正在她身体里捣来捣去呢 |
| [06:30] | Grandpa, so gross! | 外公 这太恶心了 |
| [06:31] | You’re talking about my mom. | 你说的是我妈妈 |
| [06:33] | Well, she’s my daughter, Summer. | 她是我女儿 |
| [06:35] | I outrank you. | 我辈分比你高 |
| [06:36] | Or family means nothing, in which case, don’t play that card. | 亲属关系根本没有意义 所以别跟我来这套 |
| [06:39] | she’s not responding to my texts! | 她不回我短信 |
| [06:40] | Careful, dad. | 小心啊 爸 |
| [06:41] | Jealousy turns women off. | 嫉妒会让女人失去兴致的 |
| [06:43] | Well, isn’t that convenient? | 那不是正好吗 |
| [06:45] | Not for the men they cheat on, no. | 被她们劈腿的男人的嫉妒是没用的 |
| [06:46] | okay, I’m… going to go out… for some ice cream. | 好吧 我要出去 买点冰激凌 |
| [06:50] | And maybe stop by the hospital… to support my wife… | 可能顺路去趟医院 看看我的老婆 |
| [06:54] | with my confidence. | 不带一点怀疑 |
| [06:56] | God, grandpa, you’re such a dick. | 天啊 外公 你真是个混蛋 |
| [06:59] | I’m sorry, Summer. | 抱歉 Summer |
| [06:59] | Your opinion means very little to me. | 你怎么想我一点都不在乎 |
| [07:01] | How come you’re not at this | 你怎么没去那个 |
| [07:02] | stupid dance everyone loves so much? | 人人爱的傻舞会呢 |
| [07:04] | Screw that. I don’t want to get sick. | 我才不去 我不要被传染 |
| [07:05] | It’s flu season. | 现在是流感季节 |
| [07:06] | It is? | 是吗 |
| [07:07] | yeah. | 是啊 |
| [07:08] | uh-oh. | 啊噢 |
| [07:14] | Please just let this work out. | 千万别出什么岔子啊 |
| [07:17] | Do it, Morty. Do it. | 来吧 Morty 来吧 |
| [07:19] | Rip my clothes off and mate with me for life! | 把我的衣服撕开 和我结为终生伴侣吧 |
| [07:24] | Can we maybe go somewhere more private? | 咱能去个隐蔽点的地方吗 |
| [07:26] | Jessica, get a hold of yourself! | Jessica 控制一下自己 |
| [07:30] | you don’t deserve to carry morty’s genes. | 你不配得到Morty的基因 |
| [07:32] | *I love Morty * | *我爱Morty* |
| [07:35] | *and I hope Morty loves me * | *但愿他也爱我* |
| [07:37] | *I’d like to wrap my arms around him* | *我想抱着他* |
| [07:40] | *and feel him inside me* | *让他进入我的身体* |
| [07:42] | oh, crap. | 我靠 |
| [07:46] | Morty Morty! | |
| [07:49] | Morty, come on! | Morty 快来 |
| [07:50] | We got to get you out of here. | 我们快走 |
| [07:51] | You’re not gonna believe this because it usually never happens | 通常来说这种事是不会发生的 |
| [07:53] | but I made a mistake. | 但我确实犯了个错 |
| [07:55] | Come on, Morty. | 快跑 Morty |
| [07:57] | We got to get out of here. Come on. | 咱们赶紧出去 |
| [07:58] | Morty Morty! | |
| [07:59] | Are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [08:00] | I’m fine! | 我没事 |
| [08:01] | Oh, good. | 太好了 |
| [08:02] | If anything ever happened to you, I would kill myself. | 要是你出了什么事 我也活不下去了 |
| [08:04] | I love you bad, mo-mo! | 我爱死你了 莫莫 |
| [08:10] | Morty, the principal and I have discussed it, | Morty 校长和我商量过了 |
| [08:12] | a-a-and we’re both insecure enough | 我们都对自己没什么把握 |
| [08:14] | to agree to a three-way! | 所以只好同意3p了 |
| [08:20] | I didn’t realize when I gave you that serum | 我把血清给你的时候 |
| [08:22] | that Jessica had the flu | 不知道Jessica得了流感 |
| [08:23] | you know, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-that might have | 这这这这对我来说可能是 |
| [08:24] | been valuable information for me, Morty. | 非常有用的信息好吗 Morty |
| [08:26] | What the hell is going on, Rick? | 这到底是怎么回事 Rick |
| [08:28] | What does it look like? | 看着像是怎么回事 |
| [08:28] | T-t-t-the serum is piggybacking on the virus. | 血清借助病毒 |
| [08:31] | It’s gone airborne, Morty. | 变得能通过空气传播了 |
| [08:32] | oh, crap. What are we gonna do, Rick? | 妈啦 怎么办啊 Rick |
| [08:35] | It’s gonna be fine, Morty, relax. | 没事的 Morty 放心 |
| [08:36] | I whipped up an antidote. | 我赶制了解药 |
| [08:37] | It’s based on praying-mantis DNA. | 我用了螳螂的DNA |
| [08:39] | You know, praying mantises are the exact opposite of voles, Morty. | 螳螂完全和田鼠相反 |
| [08:42] | I mean, they they mate once, | 它们只交配一次 |
| [08:43] | and then they, you know, decapitate the partner. | 然后就把交配对象的头砍掉 |
| [08:45] | I mean, it’s a whole ritual. | 它们的习性就是这样 |
| [08:46] | It’s really gruesome and totally opposite. | 非常残忍 和田鼠完全相反 |
| [08:48] | There’s no love at all. | 完全没有爱可言 |
| [08:50] | I-I-I basically mixed this with a more contagious flu virus. | 我加入了一种更具传染性的流感病毒 |
| [08:53] | It should neutralize the whole thing, Morty. | 应该就能中和掉之前的血清了 |
| [08:55] | It’ll all be over very shortly. | 这事儿很快就能结束了 |
| [09:01] | Uh, by the way, Morty, | 对了 Morty |
| [09:02] | I know you didn’t ask or anything, | 虽然你没问 |
| [09:03] | but I’m not interested in having sex with you. | 但我一点都不想和你发生性关系 |
| [09:05] | These serums, they don’t work on anybody related to you genetically. | 这血清对和你有血缘的人是没用的 |
| [09:22] | Okay, well, sometimes, | 好吧 有时候 |
| [09:24] | Science is more art than science, Morty. | 用科学怎么能理解科学这门艺术 |
| [09:26] | A lot of people don’t get that. | 很多人就是不明白 |
| [09:35] | Come on. Are you kidding me? | 靠 开什么玩笑 |
| [09:37] | Hello! | 有人吗 |
| [09:38] | Morty Morty! | |
| [09:40] | You’re not Morty! | 你不是Morty |
| [09:41] | Bring us Morty! | 我们要Morty |
| [09:52] | Nobody’s killing me until after I catch my wife with another man. | 在我成功捉奸以前 谁也别想干掉我 |
| [09:57] | I had sex with Billy. | 我和Billy上床了 |
| [09:59] | But you were already pregnant! | 但你当时已经怀孕了啊 |
| [10:00] | Yeah, so what’s the worst that could happen? | 再差又能怎么样呢 |
| [10:02] | We interrupt “Pregnant baby” with breaking news. | 抱歉打断《孕妇俏佳人》 插播一则新闻 |
| [10:05] | Come on. | 别啊 |
| [10:06] | This just in, Morty Smith’s whereabouts are still unknown. | 最新消息 Morty Smith仍然去向不明 |
| [10:10] | What the hell? | 什么啊这是 |
| [10:11] | The only thing that is known is… how cute he is. | 目前唯一已知的就是 他有多么可爱 |
| [10:14] | I love him so much, I want to make love to him | 我爱他 我想和他做爱 |
| [10:17] | and then eat his head. | 然后吃掉他的脑袋 |
| [10:19] | I love him more than you do, Harold! | 我比你更爱他 Harold |
| [10:20] | You wish, you stupid bitch! | 想得美 贱人 |
| [10:22] | Morty’s mine! | Morty是我的 |
| [10:23] | Morty’s mine! | Morty是我的 |
| [10:35] | Where is Morty? | Morty在哪儿 |
| [10:51] | Oh, my god, Rick. | 天啊 Rick |
| [10:52] | The whole world is infected! | 全世界都被感染了 |
| [10:53] | Yeah, it’s pretty wild how fast that spread. | 是啊 传播得这么快真是惊人 |
| [10:55] | I’ve really outdone myself. | 我真是超水平发挥 |
| [10:57] | Outdone yourself?! | 超水平发挥 |
| [10:58] | W-w a-are are you kidding me, Rick? | 别开玩笑了 Rick |
| [10:59] | This is not okay! | 这太糟了 |
| [11:01] | Not only do they all want to have sex with me, | 他们不光是都想要和我做爱 |
| [11:03] | but, you know, now they want to eat me afterwards! | 现在事后还要把我吃掉 |
| [11:05] | Yeah, I don’t know what i was thinking. | 我也不知道我当时在想什么 |
| [11:06] | Mantises are they opposite of voles? | 螳螂和田鼠完全相反 |
| [11:08] | I mean, Obviously, DNA’s a little more complicated than that. | 显然DNA没这么简单 |
| [11:11] | You know what, though, Morty? | 不过呢 Morty |
| [11:12] | This right here’s gonna do the the trick, baby. | 有了这个 问题马上就能解决了 |
| [11:14] | It’s koala mixed with rattlesnake, chimpanzee, cactus, | 树袋熊混合上 响尾蛇 黑猩猩 仙人掌 |
| [11:17] | shark, golden retriever, and just a smidge of dinosaur. | 鲨鱼 金毛犬 加上一点点恐龙 |
| [11:21] | Should add up to normal humanity. | 应该能把他们变回正常人类了 |
| [11:22] | I don’t, that doesn’t make any sense, Rick. | 这根本没道理 Rick |
| [11:24] | How does that add up to normal humanity? | 这怎么就能变回正常人类了 |
| [11:27] | What, Morty, you want me to show you my math? | 怎么 Morty 你难道还想看我的运算过程吗 |
| [11:28] | I’m sorry a-are you the scientist | 你是科学家 |
| [11:30] | or are you the kid that wanted to get laid? | 还是想搞妹子的小孩 |
| [11:34] | Well, I’m glad we saved all those horses, | 救了那些马真是太好了 |
| [11:37] | but I’m almost sorry we’re finished. | 但就这么结束了 让我觉得有些遗憾 |
| [11:39] | Yes, it’s satisfying work. | 是的 这样的工作很让人有满足感 |
| [11:40] | Unh-unh-unh, it’s, uh it’s more than the work. | 不不不 不仅仅是工作 |
| [11:43] | I love being in that sterilized room, | 我喜欢在那间无菌室里 |
| [11:45] | sealed off from the world. | 与世隔绝 |
| [11:47] | It’s the only time I can really think… and feel. | 只有在那里我才能真正思考和感受 |
| [11:52] | Hmm, uh, what are you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [11:53] | I’m playing African Dream Pop. | 我在放非洲梦幻流行乐 |
| [11:55] | What do youdo after a long night? | 辛苦工作一晚之后你会做什么呢 |
| [11:59] | Oh, ha, um, hey, I-b-I’d better get going. | 啊 呃 我得走了 |
| [12:02] | Um, Jerry’s been texting some pretty high-maintenance stuff. | Jerry一直在给我发一些很不好应付的短信 |
| [12:04] | Beth Beth… | |
| [12:05] | What is it, Davin? | 干嘛 Davin |
| [12:06] | Just once, I’d like to know | 就这一次 我想知道 |
| [12:09] | …w-w-what it was like to give your son a bath. | 给你的儿子洗澡是什么感觉 |
| [12:14] | what?! | 啥 |
| [12:15] | What does Morty’s skin smell like? | Morty闻起来是什么味道 |
| [12:18] | How soft… how soft are his privates? | 他的小弟弟有多么柔软 |
| [12:23] | let go of me, Davin! | 放开我 Davin |
| [12:31] | Take me to Morty. | 带我去找Morty |
| [12:34] | You’re not Morty. | 你不是Morty |
| [12:37] | No. | 没错 |
| [12:37] | I’m Mr. Crowbar, and this is my friend, | 我是撬棍先生 这是我的朋友 |
| [12:41] | who is also a crowbar. | 也是一根撬棍 |
| [12:44] | That’s… stupid. | 这好蠢啊 |
| [12:49] | Yeah? | 是吗 |
| [12:50] | Well, look where being smart got you. | 看看聪明的下场吧 |
| [12:51] | Jerry! Thank god! | Jerry 感谢上帝 |
| [12:53] | God? | 上帝 |
| [12:55] | God’s turning people into insect monsters, Beth. | 上帝把人变成了昆虫怪 Beth |
| [12:58] | I’m the one beating them to death. | 把它们打死的人是我 |
| [13:00] | Thank me. | 感谢我吧 |
| [13:01] | Thank you, Jerry. | 谢谢你 Jerry |
| [13:02] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [13:08] | Take a good look down there, Morty, and soak it in, | 往下看 Morty 欣赏一会儿 |
| [13:10] | because, you know, once I pull this lever, it’s all back to normal. | 只要我拉动这个开关 一切就恢复原状了 |
| [13:13] | Just do it already. | 快动手吧 |
| [13:15] | Well, technically, Morty, there’s no rush. | Morty 没什么好急的 |
| [13:17] | I mean, you know, o-once it’s fixed, it’s done. | 只要恢复了 一切就结束了 |
| [13:18] | It’s fixed. | 这事儿就解决了 |
| [13:19] | You know, we could we could just enjoy it for a little bit. | 我们可以稍微欣赏一会儿嘛 |
| [13:22] | I mean, l-l-l-look at how crazy it is. | 看看这场面 多疯狂 |
| [13:24] | I mean, Morty, w-w-when’s the next time | Morty 下一次 |
| [13:26] | you’re gonna see something like this? | 你想看到这样的东西得等到什么时候了 |
| [13:27] | I mean, soak it in, you know? | 好好享受一会儿 |
| [13:29] | It’s it’s pretty neat. | 多棒阿 |
| [13:30] | It’s pretty interesting. | 多有趣啊 |
| [13:31] | That’s it, Rick! I’m pulling the lever. | 够了 Rick 我要拉开关了 |
| [13:39] | W-what do we have here, Morty? | 结果怎么样啊 Morty |
| [13:41] | Looks like I was right and you were wrong, huh? | 看来是我是对的 你错了 |
| [13:43] | I-I-I-I-I-I-I bet you feel pretty stupid right about now, huh? | 你现在肯定觉得自己很蠢吧 |
| [13:45] | I-I-I bet you feel like the world’s smallest man | 你现在肯定惭愧得不行吧 |
| [13:48] | that you were doubting me about this whole thing, Morty. | 之前还怀疑我 Morty |
| [13:50] | Oh, Rick, something’s not right. | 不 Rick 有什么不对 |
| [13:52] | Yeah, you. | 不就是你吗 |
| [13:53] | – You’re not right, ever. – No, no! | – 你从来就没对过 – 不 不是 |
| [13:55] | Look, you idiot! | 快看 你这个白痴 |
| [14:21] | Bet you’re loving this, Morty. | 高兴了吧 Morty |
| [14:22] | This must be the best day of your life. | 今天肯定是你人生中最美好的一天 |
| [14:25] | You get to be the mayor of I-told-you town. | 跟你说了让你别着急 |
| [14:29] | You’re welcome. | 不用谢 |
| [14:39] | Hold on. | 抓稳了 |
| [15:00] | I wish that shotgun was my penis. | 真希望这把猎枪是我的大屌 |
| [15:02] | If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway. | 叫我海明威(用猎枪自杀) |
| [15:06] | I don’t get it, and I don’t need to. | 我没听懂 我也不用听懂 |
| [15:09] | Mom! Dad! | 妈 爸 |
| [15:11] | Summer Summer! | |
| [15:15] | Where’s Morty? | Morty在哪儿 |
| [15:16] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [15:17] | Do you think Grandpa Rick had something to do with this? | 你觉得Rick外公和这有关吗 |
| [15:20] | It’s not fair to assume that, Summer. | 这么想不太公平吧 Summer |
| [15:21] | Oh, not fair? | 不公平 |
| [15:22] | Give me a break. | 算了吧 |
| [15:23] | He is a selfish, irresponsible ass, and he left my mother. | 他就是个自私 不负责任的混蛋 他还离开了我母亲 |
| [15:27] | A real man stands by his woman. | 真男人会守在他的女人身边 |
| [15:37] | Boy, Morty, I really cronenberged the world up, didn’t I? | Morty 我把世界搞得好像柯南伯格的电影一样 |
| [15:40] | We got a whole planet of cronenbergs walking around down there, Morty. | 整个地球上都是柯南伯格式的生物 |
| [15:44] | A-at least they’re not in love with you anymore, though. | 不过至少他们不再疯狂地爱你了 |
| [15:46] | That’s a huge step in the right direction. | 这算是一大进步了 |
| [15:47] | Oh, my god! It’s a living nightmare! | 天 这简直就是活生生的噩梦 |
| [15:50] | How could you be so irresponsible, Rick? | 你怎么能这么不负责任呢 Rick |
| [15:52] | me irresponsible?! | 我不负责任 |
| [15:53] | You, all I wanted you to do was hand me a screwdriver, Morty! | 我只是想让你给我递一把螺丝刀而已 |
| [15:56] | You’re the one who wanted to be wanted me to buckle down | 是你想让我抛开别的 |
| [15:59] | and make you up a… roofie-juice serum | 给你弄什么迷奸血清 |
| [16:02] | so you could roofie that poor girl at your school. | 好让你去迷奸你那可怜的同学 |
| [16:05] | I mean, g w-w-w-w-w w are you kidding me, Morty? | 你开什么玩笑 Morty |
| [16:08] | You’re gonna try to take the high road on this one? | 你还想抢占道德制高点 |
| [16:10] | Y-y-y-y-you’re a little creep, Morty. | 你就是个小变态 Morty |
| [16:12] | Y-you’re a you’re you’re you’re just a little creepy… creep person. | 你你你你你就是个猥琐的小变态 |
| [16:15] | All right, fine. | 好吧 |
| [16:16] | I should have just listened to you when you refused to make the serum. | 你之前拒绝帮我做血清的时候 我就该听你的 |
| [16:18] | I’m willing to accept my part of the blame for this, Rick. | 我愿意承担我这部分的责任 Rick |
| [16:20] | But I’ll tell you something you know what? | 但是我告诉你 |
| [16:22] | You got to accept your part of the blame! | 你也得承认你的那部分责任 |
| [16:23] | I’m not the one who fouled up the serum! | 又不是我搞砸了血清的事 |
| [16:26] | I’m not the one who who who who | 又不是我 |
| [16:27] | haphazardly, you know, mixed a bunch of nonsense | 把一堆乱七八糟的鬼东西混在一起 |
| [16:30] | together and created a bunch of cronenbergs! | 弄出了一堆柯南伯格怪 |
| [16:32] | – You got to fix this, Rick! – All right, all right, Morty. | – 你得解决这事儿 Rick – 好吧 好吧 Morty |
| [16:34] | You know, w-w-w-we are in a pretty deep hole, here, | 现在这个情况已经很难挽回了 |
| [16:36] | but I do have one emergency solution that I can use | 不过我确实有个应急方案 |
| [16:39] | that’ll kind of put everything back to normal, relatively speaking. | 能让一切相对而言恢复正常 |
| [16:42] | Here, Morty, put this on | Morty 把这个带上 |
| [16:43] | while I do a little bit of scouting. | 我来搜索一下 |
| [16:59] | Wow, Rick, I got to say | 哇 Rick 我得说 |
| [17:00] | you really pulled a rabbit out of your hat this time. | 你这次真是太厉害了 |
| [17:03] | I mean, I-I really thought that | 我真以为 |
| [17:04] | the whole place was gonna be messed up for good, | 这儿会永远一团乱下去了 |
| [17:06] | but here you did it | 但你做到了 |
| [17:07] | you figured out that crazy solution, like you always do. | 你一如既往地想出了个疯办法 |
| [17:12] | That’s some great luck. | 真是太走运了 |
| [17:13] | Come on, Morty. Luck had nothing to do with it. | 得了吧 Morty 跟运气没关系 |
| [17:15] | I’m great. That’s the real reason. | 靠的是我的实力 |
| [17:19] | Now, Morty, what do you say, buddy? | 怎么说 Morty |
| [17:20] | Will you hand me a screwdriver | 能把螺丝刀递给我 |
| [17:21] | so I can finish my ionic de-defibulizer? | 让我完成我的离子除颤器吗 |
| [17:24] | Sure thing, Rick. | 当然 Rick |
| [17:25] | Here’s a screwdriver. | 给你 |
| [17:26] | All right, Morty. | 好了 Morty |
| [17:27] | Thank you very much. | 谢谢你 |
| [17:29] | We got one screw turn… | 拧一下 |
| [17:30] | and two screw turns… and… | 拧两下 |
| [17:38] | All right, Morty, here we are. | 好了 Morty 我们到了 |
| [17:40] | Oh, my god, Rick! Is that us?! | 天啊 Rick 那是我们吗 |
| [17:42] | W-w-w-we’re dead! | 我我我我们死了 |
| [17:43] | What is going on, Rick? | 怎么回事 Rick |
| [17:44] | I’m freaking out! | 我要崩溃了 |
| [17:45] | Calm down, Morty! | 冷静点 Morty |
| [17:46] | Look at me! Calm down, Morty! | 看着我 冷静 Morty |
| [17:47] | – No, I can’t deal with this! – Calm yourself, Morty. | – 不行 我接受不了 – 冷静下来 Morty |
| [17:50] | – I can’t deal with this, Rick! – Calm down, Morty. | – 这种事我受不了 Rick – 冷静 Morty |
| [17:52] | – This can’t be real! – You got to calm down, Morty. | – 骗人的吧 – 冷静下来 Morty |
| [17:54] | W-w-w-w-we’re ripped apart! | 我我我我们被炸碎了 |
| [17:55] | Shut up and listen to me! | 闭上嘴听我说 |
| [17:57] | It’s fine. Everything is fine. | 没事的 |
| [17:59] | There’s an infinite number of realities, Morty | 有无数个平行的现实 Morty |
| [18:01] | and in a few dozen of those, I got lucky | 在一小部分平行世界里 我运气好 |
| [18:03] | and turned everything back to normal. | 让一切恢复了原状 |
| [18:05] | I just had to find one of those realities | 我只需要找到其中某一个世界 |
| [18:06] | in which we also happen to both die around this time. | 我们俩刚好在这段时间里死了 |
| [18:09] | Now we can just slip into the place of | 现在我们只需要悄悄取代 |
| [18:10] | our dead selves in this reality and everything will be fine. | 这个世界里死掉的自己 就没问题了 |
| [18:13] | We’re not skipping a beat, Morty. | 就和什么都没发生过一样 Morty |
| [18:16] | This is insane. | 这太疯狂了 |
| [18:16] | Now, help me with these bodies. | 来帮我搬下尸体 |
| [18:17] | Look, Morty, I’ll grab myself, | Morty 我搬我自己 |
| [18:18] | you grab yourself, okay? | 你搬你自己 行吗 |
| [18:19] | I mean, t-t-t-that seems fair to me, I mean, | 我觉得这样挺公平的 |
| [18:21] | that seems like a fair way to divvy it up. | 这样分配很合理 |
| [18:23] | Rick, what about the reality we left behind? | 那我们以前的世界呢 |
| [18:25] | What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? | 那Hilter找了治愈癌症方法的世界呢 Morty |
| [18:28] | The answer is don’t think about it. | 最好的办法就是别去想 |
| [18:29] | It’s not like we can do this every week, anyways. | 反正这种办法也不是每周都能用 |
| [18:31] | We get three or four more of these, tops. | 最多就用个三四次 |
| [18:33] | Now, pick up your dead self and come on. | 把你自己的尸体搬起来 |
| [18:35] | Haste makes waste. | 欲速则不达 |
| [18:36] | I-I-I don’t suppose you’ve considered this detail, | 虽然我觉得你没注意到这个细节 |
| [18:38] | but obviously, if I hadn’t screwed up as much as I did | 但很显然 如果我没把一切都搞砸的话 |
| [18:41] | we’d be these guys right now, so, again, you’re welcome. | 我们现在就是死人了 再说一次 不用谢 |
| [20:21] | You know, the thing about a shark… | 鲨鱼这种动物 |
| [20:23] | he’s got lifeless eyes… | 有一双毫无生气的眼睛 |
| [20:26] | black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. | 黑黑的眼睛 像木偶的眼睛一样 |
| [20:29] | When he comes at ya, he doesn’t seem to be living | 它朝你冲过来的时候 浑然不似活物 |
| [20:31] | until he bites ya, and then the the blood, | 直到它咬住你 接着就是血 |
| [20:34] | and the red, and the water… | 鲜红的 还有水里… |
| [20:36] | You ever wonder what happened to Rick and Morty? | 你有想过Rick和Morty怎么样了吗 |
| [20:38] | Sometimes. | 有时候吧 |
| [20:39] | But, I’m ashamed to admit, | 这么说好像有点对不起他们 |
| [20:41] | now that they’re gone, I’m finally happy. | 但他们走了以后 我终于过得幸福了 |
| [20:48] | Here we are, cronenberg Morty | 我们到啦 柯南伯格Morty |
| [20:50] | a reality where everyone in the world got genetically cronenberged. | 一个所有人都被柯南伯格化了的世界 |
| [20:53] | We’ll fit right in, cronenberg Morty. | 我们来了正好呢 柯南伯格Morty |
| [20:54] | It’ll be like we never even left cronenberg world. | 就和我们从来没离开过柯南伯格世界一样 |
| [20:56] | Yeah, cronenberg Rick, | 是啊 柯南伯格Rick |
| [20:58] | but, you know, I’m gonna miss cronenberg world, | 但我还是会想念柯南伯格世界的 |
| [21:00] | because everyone was cronenberged | 因为大家都是柯南伯格版的 |
| [21:01] | all along like us from the beginning, you know? | 和我们一样 从一开始就是 |
| [21:03] | I mean, I-I wish we hadn’t genetically ruined | 要是我们没有把 |
| [21:05] | cronenberg world beyond repair like we did, | 柯南伯格世界基因毁灭掉就好了 |
| [21:07] | you know, and turned everyone into regular, normal people just walking around. | 把所有人都变成了正常的人类 |
| [21:11] | Don’t you worry about that sort of thing, cronenberg Morty. | 别担心这种事了 柯南伯格Morty |
| [21:14] | Let’s go make ourselves at home, huh? | 咱们就在这儿舒舒服服过吧 |