| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Look, I’m not paying 70 smidgens for a broken defraculator. | 我才不会花70丁丁买一个坏掉的反定帆器 |
| [00:05] | That is multiphase quantum resonator. | 这是多相量子共振器 |
| [00:08] | – Well, does it defraculate? – [Bleep]No. | – 那它能反定帆吗 – [哔]不能 |
| [00:10] | Then-then-then it’s a broken defraculator. | 那不就是个坏掉的反定帆器吗 |
| [00:12] | Like you would even know dick about fraculation. | 你懂个鸡巴的定帆啊 |
| [00:14] | Your planet just got cellphones, and the coverage still sucks! | 你们的星球只有手机 信号还这么烂 |
| [00:18] | Yeah, yeah, and your species eat sulfur. | 你们的人还吃硫呢 |
| [00:20] | So let’s say 60 smidgens. | 就60丁丁了 |
| [00:22] | I tell you what, I’ll do you a favor | 算我帮你个忙 |
| [00:24] | I’ll throw in a fart. | 我附赠你个屁(硫化氢) |
| [00:25] | Hey, uh, Rick, um, you think maybe I could | Rick 你能不能给我 |
| [00:28] | get something from this place | 买件这里的东西啊 |
| [00:29] | like, like a souvenir, like just to have like something cool, you know? | 就一件纪念品嘛 单纯为了收藏 比如什么酷酷的东西 |
| [00:32] | Not here Morty, we’ll stop somewhere else | 这儿就算了 Morty 我们去别的地方 |
| [00:34] | because, you know, there’s always another pawn shop. | 反正哪里都有当铺 |
| [00:37] | Oh okay, I just, um, you know, that robot over there | 我就是觉得 那边那个机器人 |
| [00:40] | looked pretty cool, you know? | 看着好酷啊 |
| [00:42] | Oh, it looks cool, huh? | 看着酷是吗 |
| [00:43] | That’s why you want it? | 因为酷你才想买 |
| [00:44] | Yeah! You know, I mean it’s different from the stuff on Earth, | 是啊 跟地球上的东西很不相同嘛 |
| [00:47] | and, you know, you take me to all these crazy places across the galaxy, | 你带着我跑遍了银河系里面这么多疯狂的地方 |
| [00:51] | and, you know, I don’t really have anything to, | 我都没有什么东西 |
| [00:53] | to remember all the trips by. | 能纪念这些冒险啊 |
| [00:55] | It’d be kind of cool, like a souvenir. | 这不是挺酷的吗 一个纪念品 |
| [00:57] | You know, like, what if you passed away or died or something? | 万一你去世了什么的怎么办 |
| [01:00] | I wouldn’t even have anything to | 都没有什么东西 |
| [01:02] | remember all the cool stuff we did, you know? | 能让我缅怀那些酷炫的经历呢 |
| [01:04] | Okay. 60 for the resonator, | 好吧 共振器我出60 |
| [01:06] | and my grandson wants the sex robot. | 外加我外孙想要的那个性爱机器人 |
| [01:47] | So, we’re just going to pretend this isn’t happening? | 我们是要假装什么也不知道吗 |
| [01:50] | I’m not saying that a bad idea, just asking. | 我不是说这样不好 只是问问而已 |
| [01:52] | Rick, why would you let Morty bring that thing into our house. | Rick 你怎么能让Morty把那东西带回家呢 |
| [01:55] | What do you want form me? | 你指望我能干嘛 |
| [01:57] | He thi-, he thou-, he thou-, he th-, he thought it looked cool. | 他觉觉觉觉得那东西看着很酷 |
| [01:59] | You know what I mean. | 你懂我意思吗 |
| [02:00] | Whew. Ahh. All right. Back to-, b-back upstair. | 呼 啊 好了 接着 回楼上 |
| [02:13] | Well, I’m invervening. | 不行 我要干预这事 |
| [02:15] | Intervening with puberty? | 干预青春期行为吗 |
| [02:16] | You’ll turn him into Ralph Fiennes in “Red Dragon.” | 你会把他变成《红龙》里的拉尔夫费因斯的 |
| [02:19] | He’s just at that age. | 他到了这个年纪了 |
| [02:21] | Let’s just be proud of him. | 我们为他骄傲就好了 |
| [02:22] | Jesus. Did I really set the bar that low? | 天啊 我把标准降到这么低了吗 |
| [02:25] | Um, Rick, could you come with me, please, quickly? | 呃 Rick 你能来一下吗 快点 |
| [02:30] | Ok, now if we hear squeaking, we intervene. | 如果再听到嘎吱声 我们就干预 |
| [02:35] | Where’s the sex robot, Morty? | 性爱机器人呢 Morty |
| [02:37] | That is Gwendolyn. I-I mean, the robot! | 那就是Gwendolyn 我是说 机器人 |
| [02:39] | She started beeping and then transformed and tried to fly away! | 她发出了哔哔声 然后变形试图飞走 |
| [02:42] | Strange. That’s usually the man’s job. | 真奇怪 这一般是男人才会干的事啊 |
| [02:43] | You know what I’m talking about, Morty? | 知道我什么意思吧 Morty |
| [02:45] | Wubba lubba dub dub Wubba lubba dub dub！ | |
| [02:46] | Morty, that’s my catchphrase, remember? | Morty 这是我的口头禅 还记得吗 |
| [02:50] | Remember how-how I cemented that catchphrase? | 还记得我怎么拼出这个口头禅的吗 |
| [02:52] | All right. All ritht, seriously, though. | 好吧好吧 不开玩笑了 |
| [02:54] | Let me grab this thing. | 让我来抓住它 |
| [02:57] | Come on, you… rascal. | 够了 你这个小淘气 |
| [02:59] | Okay, unacceptable! Oh | 这就过分了 噢 |
| [03:00] | What is going on? | 出什么事了 |
| [03:03] | All right. Uh-oh. | 好吧 啊噢 |
| [03:04] | “Uh-Oh”? What is that?! | 啥叫”啊噢” 那是个啥 |
| [03:07] | Hmm. I think Morty’s robot was designed for more than long weekends. | 看来Morty的机器人不只是用来打发时间的 |
| [03:12] | Genetic compiler, incubation chamber. | 基因编译装置 孵化室 |
| [03:15] | Yep. This, here’s some kind of baby maker, | 没错 这是个造娃机 |
| [03:16] | and that there’s half Morty, half who-who knows wh-what? | 这是个一半Morty一半不知道啥的东西 |
| [03:20] | It’s my bad, guys. | 是我造成的 |
| [03:21] | I’ll, I’ll take care of it. | 我会处理掉的 |
| [03:22] | – Grandpa Rick! – No, no! – Whoa whoa whoa! | – Rick外公 – 不行 – 哇哦 |
| [03:24] | What do you think you’re doing?! | 你这是要干嘛 |
| [03:25] | Hey, listen. You guys quarantined the house | Summer从墨西哥带橄榄回来的时候 |
| [03:27] | when summer brought olives back from Mexico. | 你们把房子都隔离起来了 |
| [03:29] | I mean, this thing could grow to the size of Delaware. | 这东西说不定能长到特拉华州那么大 |
| [03:31] | I mean, it might eat brains and exhale space AIDS. | 这东西指不定还会吃脑子呼出宇宙艾滋呢 |
| [03:34] | We got to be careful. | 我们必须得小心 |
| [03:35] | I lost the chance to be careful, Rick. | 该小心的时候我没小心 现在已经没机会了 Rick |
| [03:37] | I’m a father now! | 我当爸爸了 |
| [03:38] | You know, it’s time for me to be responsible. | 我该负起责任了 |
| [03:40] | Isn’t that right… | 对不对呀 |
| [03:41] | Don’t name it. | 别取名字 |
| [03:42] | …Morty Jr.? | 小Morty |
| [03:42] | Oh， Crap. He named it. | 靠 取了个名字 |
| [03:43] | Well, dad, it’s a living thing, and it’s half human. | 爸 这是个小生命 而且有一半是人类 |
| [03:47] | And it was born on american soil, which entitles it to… | 而且它是出生在美国领土上的 所以 |
| [03:49] | Jerry, majoring in civics was your mistake. | Jerry 主修公民学是你自己的错 |
| [03:51] | Don’t punish us for it. | 别用它来惩罚我们好吗 |
| [03:52] | Fine. I’m gonna take this thing to my workshop | 好吧 我把这东西带回我的工作间去 |
| [03:55] | and do a little bit of investigating. | 做点调查 |
| [03:57] | Do not let that thing out of your sight. | 别让这东西离开你们的视线 |
| [03:59] | It looks harmless now, but it could grow into something dangerous. | 现在看着人畜无害 但以后可能会变得很危险 |
| [04:02] | Like the Insane Clown Posse. | 就像疯狂小丑波塞一样 |
| [04:03] | Yeah. Good one, Jerry. | 呵呵 这笑话真不错 Jerry |
| [04:05] | 2003 just called and wants its Easy Target back. | 2003年打电话来把Easy Target要回去 |
| [04:09] | Ohh. He’s like a little me! | 他就像是个小版的我 |
| [04:11] | Y-you don’t think he’ll turn into a monster… do you? | 你们不会真认为他会变成一个怪物的 对吧 |
| [04:14] | They always do. | 孩子都会变成怪物的 |
| [04:14] | Hey, uh, 1995 called! | 嘿 1995年打电话来了 |
| [04:17] | They want their “cartain year called wanting its ‘blank’ back” formula back! | 他们想把”某年打电话来把某东西要回去的句式要回去” |
| [04:21] | Why, Jerry? why expend the effort? | 何必呢 Jerry 何必要费力做这种事 |
| [04:23] | Life is effort. I’ll stop when I die! | 活着就要费力 生命不息 奋斗不止 |
| [04:27] | Out. | 出去 |
| [04:28] | Whatcha doin’? | 你干嘛呢 |
| [04:29] | Well, I can’t solve the problem my way, | 我没法用我的办法解决这事 |
| [04:31] | thanks to your family’s primitive biological hang-ups. | 多亏了你家里人原始的生物学考虑 |
| [04:33] | Gross. I might have just touched one of Morty’s loads. | 恶 我好像碰到了一点Morty的精液 |
| [04:35] | But maybe I can find suitable parents for Morty Jr. | 但说不能我可以给小Morty找到合适的父母 |
| [04:38] | on this robot’s home world, which is… | 在这个机器人的故乡 也就是 |
| [04:42] | Gazorpazorp in the Andromeda system. | 仙女座星系的格索尔帕索普星 |
| [04:44] | Scoot, Summer. | 闪开 Summer |
| [04:45] | Don’t you need a new companion | 你不需要新的小伙伴吗 |
| [04:47] | now that Morty’s in the family way? | 既然现在Morty需要顾家了 |
| [04:48] | I don’t do adventures with chicks, Summer. | 我不和小女生出去冒险 Summer |
| [04:51] | Oh, right. Because there’s something about having a wiener | 哦是吗 两腿中间有根东西 |
| [04:53] | that would make me better at walking through a hole? | 穿个传送门都要强些吗 |
| [04:55] | Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! | 啊啊啊啊 |
| [04:56] | Oh, crap. | 该死 |
| [04:58] | Grandpa Rick! Ugh! | Rick外公 |
| [05:00] | Help! Help! Aah! Aah! | 救命 救命 啊 |
| [05:04] | Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! | 啊 |
| [05:08] | Grandpa Rick! | Rick外公 |
| [05:08] | Still think it’s a good idea to go through holes without a wiener? | 还觉得两腿中间没根东西就穿过传送门是个好主意吗 |
| [05:11] | I want to go home. | 我想回家 |
| [05:12] | Yeah, no duh. | 哦 你现在当然想了 |
| [05:17] | Great. Now I have to take over a whole planet | 好极了 我现在得拿下整个星球 |
| [05:20] | because of your stupid boobs. | 就因为你胸前那玩意儿 |
| [05:23] | You’re doing great, Morty | 干得很好啊 Morty |
| [05:24] | Really? You think? I mean, I’m not doing much of anything. | 是吗 我也没在干什么呀 |
| [05:26] | What do I do if it cries? | 他要是哭我怎么办啊 |
| [05:28] | Then you put it down and let if cry itself out. | 那就把他放在边上让他哭个够啊 |
| [05:30] | Yeah, right. We tried that technique on Summer, | 这招我们在Summer身上试过 |
| [05:33] | and she’s gonna end up stripping. | 然后她就开始脱衣了 |
| [05:34] | Isn’t she? Yes, she is. | 她是不是这样的啊 没错 |
| [05:37] | She’s gonna strip for attention. | 为了吸引我们的注意 她会脱衣服 |
| [05:39] | Because she was denied it. | 因为我们不许她这样做 |
| [05:40] | Stop filling it with your own insecurity. | 别用你自己缺乏安全感的方式教宝宝 |
| [05:43] | You’re gonna turn it into Morty- uh, um | 你会把他养成另一个Morty 呃 |
| [05:46] | more- more- more of you. | 跟 跟 跟你自己一样 |
| [05:47] | Well, we can’t all be raised like reptiles by a mentally ill scientist. | 又不是谁都是被心理不正常的科学家像冷血的爬行动物一样养大的 |
| [05:51] | What the aah! Aah! | 搞什么 啊 啊 |
| [05:55] | Listen to me. I’m not rewarding this behavior. | 听着 你现在的表现是得不到奖励的 |
| [05:57] | Knock if off, both of you! G-give me him! | 你们够了 把他给我 |
| [05:59] | Give me my baby! | 把我的宝宝给我 |
| [06:00] | You’re both nuts. | 你们都是疯子 |
| [06:02] | I’m gonna raise Morty Jr. myself! | 我要自己教小Morty |
| [06:05] | *Where’s your hands* | *小手在哪里* |
| [06:06] | *There’s your hands* | *小手在这里* |
| [06:07] | *And that’s how we play handy hands* | *我们来玩挥挥手* |
| [06:11] | Oh, you are going to ruin that kid, Morty. | 你会毁了这个孩子的 Morty |
| [06:14] | At least we can agree on that. | 至少我们在这点上达成了共识 |
| [06:23] | Thanks, Dum-Dum. | 谢谢 蠢蠢 |
| [06:26] | I said, “Thanks, Dum-Dum.” | 我说”谢谢 蠢蠢” |
| [06:27] | Go get more. | 再多弄点来 |
| [06:28] | Summer, put your burka on! | Summer 把你的罩袍穿上 |
| [06:30] | That burka is a human-rights violation, | 这罩袍简直就是侵犯人权 |
| [06:32] | and I spend a lot on this top. | 而且这件上衣花了我不少钱的 |
| [06:35] | Look, I’m trying to repair a p-portal gun with a bunch of sex-doll parts, | 我在用一堆性爱娃娃的零件修传送枪 |
| [06:38] | and I have to do it one-handed | 而且我还只能用一只手 |
| [06:39] | to keep these Belushis from carting you off. | 不然这些Belushi就会把你抓走 |
| [06:41] | The least you could do is be ashamed of your gender. | 你至少做点贡献 对你的性别感到点惭愧吧 |
| [06:44] | Ugh. What’s the deal with this place? | 这地方到底怎么回事 |
| [06:46] | Why is it such a sausage planet, | 这星球上怎么都是带把儿的 |
| [06:47] | and how did such backward idiots invent robots? | 这些落后的白痴又怎么会造出机器人来的 |
| [06:50] | Obviously, at some point, the Gazorpians became so evolved | 很显然 在某个时期 这些格索尔帕人 发展到了一定程度 |
| [06:53] | that they replaced females with birthing machines. | 他们用生育机器取代了女性 |
| [06:56] | The resultant lack of distraction and hen-pecking | 这样一来 不会被女性分散注意力 也没有唠叨 |
| [06:58] | allowed them to focus entirely on war, | 让他们专注于战争 |
| [07:00] | so they bombed themselves back to the stone age, | 然后把自己的文明炸回了石器时代 |
| [07:02] | and now they just fight with each other over fake [Bleep] | 所以现在他们为了争夺假的[哔] |
| [07:04] | with sticks and rocks all day long. | 整天拿着石头棍子打来打去 |
| [07:06] | You think it’s efficient to get rid of woman? | 你觉得没有了女性会更有效率 |
| [07:08] | You ever see a line for the men’s room? | 你见过男厕所门口排队吗 |
| [07:09] | Are you hear- do you li- do you hear me, Summer? | 你听 你有 你明白我的意思吗 Summer |
| [07:12] | Droppin’ loads. | 投放 |
| [07:15] | – Droppin’ loads – Droppin’ loads | – 投放 – 投放 |
| [07:17] | The plot thickens. | 剧情变复杂了啊 |
| [07:25] | Uh you might want to cover your eyes, Summer. | 你还是把眼睛遮住吧 Summer |
| [07:27] | Yeah, like it was my dream to watch. | 好像我多想看似的 |
| [07:32] | Yeah, baby! | 好极了 宝贝儿 |
| [07:33] | Summer, grab- grab hold. | Summer 抓紧了 |
| [07:35] | Yeah, baby! | 好极了 宝贝儿 |
| [07:36] | Aaaah! | 啊啊 |
| [07:40] | Grandpa Rick, where are we going? | Rick外公 我们这是去哪啊 |
| [07:42] | Well, obviously, Summer, it appears the lower tier of this society | 显然啊 Summer 看来这个社会的下层阶级 |
| [07:45] | is being manipulated through sex and advanced technology by a hidden ruling class. | 是被隐藏的统治阶级通过性和高科技控制的 |
| [07:50] | Sound familiar? | 听着耳熟吗 |
| [07:52] | Ticketmaster | 票务大师(美国票券经销商) |
| [07:53] | Oh, there, there we go, Summer. | 说曹操曹操到 Summer |
| [07:54] | Hey, hey, brother. Hey, bro. | 嘿 哥们儿 兄弟 |
| [07:57] | Nice racket you got going on here. | 你们这套好厉害啊 |
| [07:58] | Listen, I’m Rick Sanchez from Earth, dimension c-137. | 我是来自地球的Rick Sanchez 1-137次元 |
| [08:01] | Don’t mean you any harm. Coming in peace. | 只有和平的意图 没有任何恶意 |
| [08:03] | It’s all cool in the, uh- “Good in the neighborhood” | 挺好的 “邻里和睦” |
| [08:07] | is what I was trying to come- is what I meant. | 我是想说这个 就这意思 |
| [08:12] | Oh, I get it. The old behind-every-great-man Amazon twist. | 噢 我懂了 剧情转向了老套的”男人背后都有的”亚马逊人 |
| [08:16] | Silence! | 安静 |
| [08:21] | Your slave is ill-mannered. | 你的奴隶真是缺少管教 |
| [08:22] | My slave? | 我的奴隶 |
| [08:23] | We assume you’re from a more primitive world, | 我们猜你是来自一个落后些的世界 |
| [08:26] | where men are still permitted to be servants. | 男人还被允许作为仆人 |
| [08:28] | If he is a rogue male, tell us now, | 如果他只是个男无赖 说一声 |
| [08:30] | and we will kill him. | 我们现在就杀了他 |
| [08:30] | He’s my slave. He’s my slave. He’s definitely my slave. | 他是我的奴隶 是奴隶 绝对是 |
| [08:35] | Ugh! Ohh! Oh-oh-oh! | 啊 哦哦噢 |
| [08:37] | Oh, boy. What’s the opposite of “Wubba lubba dub dubs”? | 天啊 这简直是”Wubba lubba dub dub”的反面 |
| [08:40] | Am I right, ladies and gentlemen? | 对不对 女士们先生们 |
| [08:42] | Are you guys kidding me? | 这是在逗我吧 |
| [08:45] | Oh, Morty Jr.! | 小Morty |
| [08:46] | You’re gonna be a special little guy, aren’t you? | 你是我特别的小家伙 对吧 |
| [08:48] | You, oh yeah. You’re my special little guy. | 没错 你就是我独一无二的小家伙 |
| [08:50] | Ohh. Ohh, ha ha! | 噢噢 哈哈 |
| [08:54] | Da. | 哒 |
| [08:54] | What was that, Morty Jr.? | 什么 小Morty |
| [08:56] | Were you gonna say, “Dada”? | 你是想说爸爸吗 |
| [08:58] | Say, “Dada.” | 说爸爸 |
| [08:58] | Death! | 死亡 |
| [09:00] | “Dada.” | 爸爸 |
| [09:01] | Damnation! | 诅咒 |
| [09:02] | Um…”Dada”? | 爸爸 |
| [09:04] | Destruction. Domination. | 破坏 统治 |
| [09:07] | Nice. | 好样的 |
| [09:14] | The spider in sector C is still alive. | C区的蜘蛛还活着 |
| [09:17] | Plan your route accordingly and expect delays. | 请据此规划您的行程并做好延误的准备 |
| [09:20] | We’re not telling you what to do. | 我们并不是在告诉您该怎么做 |
| [09:22] | We’re just sharing how we feel. | 我们只是在分享我们的想法 |
| [09:23] | And now weather. Is anyone else cold, or is it just me? | 现在播报天气 是只有我 还是其他人也觉得冷 |
| [09:29] | I am Mar-Sha, ruler of Gazorpazorp. | 我叫Mar-Sha 格索尔帕索普的统治者 |
| [09:32] | I am here if you need to talk. | 有什么心事都可以跟我说 |
| [09:34] | What is this place? | 这是什么地方 |
| [09:35] | Paradise. We bulit it during the great passive-aggression, | 乐土 我们在消极敌对期的时候建造了这个地方 |
| [09:38] | when the females separated from the males | 因为他们愈演愈烈的破坏行为 |
| [09:41] | due to their increasingly destructive behavior. | 女性脱离了男性 |
| [09:44] | I’m here if you need to talk. | 有什么心事都可以跟我说 |
| [09:45] | I’m here if you need to talk. | 有什么心事都可以跟我说 |
| [09:47] | From here, we dispense mechanical surrogates | 我们从这里将这些代孕机器人投出去 |
| [09:49] | to maintain our population. | 以维持我们的人口 |
| [09:51] | Fertilized surrogates are returned here to our nursery. | 受孕的代孕机会被带回我们的育婴所 |
| [09:54] | The females are placed into educational programs | 女性会接受教育 |
| [09:58] | where they can discover a service to our paradise | 让她们能够回馈这片乐土 |
| [10:00] | that fulfills them most. | 同时最大程度地自我实现 |
| [10:02] | Males… | 至于男性 |
| [10:04] | …they get to play outside. | 他们去外面就好 |
| [10:08] | That was just a baby. | 那还是个婴儿 |
| [10:10] | And within a day, he’ll be an adult male Gazorpian, | 一天之内 他就会长成一个成年的格索尔帕人 |
| [10:12] | one of the most aggressively violent creatures in the universe. | 宇宙中最为凶残暴力的生物之一 |
| [10:15] | Wait a minute. We’re here becuase a male Gazorpian was born on our planet. | 等等 我们来这儿是因为有一个男性格索尔帕人出生在了地球上 |
| [10:23] | You speak when you’re spoken to, ding-a-ling! | 没人和你说话不许随便开口 傻瓜 |
| [10:25] | It’s true, though. One of your babies was born on Earth. | 不过这是真的 有一个你们的孩子出生在了地球上 |
| [10:28] | Are you the ruler of this Earth. | 你是地球的统治者吗 |
| [10:30] | How did you know? | 你怎么知道 |
| [10:31] | The quality of your top. | 因为你的上衣 |
| [10:33] | Do you love it? | 喜欢吗 |
| [10:33] | I love it. | 爱死了 |
| [10:35] | – I’m here if you need to talk. – I’m here if you need to talk. | – 有什么心事都可以跟我说 – 有什么心事都可以跟我说 |
| [10:38] | If the Gazorpian is male, | 如果这个格索尔帕人是男性 |
| [10:40] | your Earth is in grave danger. | 你们的地球情况很不乐观 |
| [10:41] | We will give you passage back home so it can be terminated. | 我们会送你们回去 好把他干掉 |
| [10:44] | But first, Mojitos. | 不过先来点莫吉托鸡尾酒 |
| [10:46] | We don’t have time for Mojitos. | 我们没时间喝莫吉托了 |
| [10:48] | You’re insulting them. | 你这是对她们不敬 |
| [10:49] | I don’t care, Summer. | 我不在乎 Summer |
| [10:50] | This place is the worst! | 这地方太烂了 |
| [10:52] | I want to go home! | 我想回家 |
| [10:53] | Well, it really doesn’t matter what you want, | 你想干嘛一点都不重要 |
| [10:54] | because this is a sane place where women rule. | 因为这个地方是由女人统治的 |
| [10:57] | Yeah. You know what I have to say about that? | 你知道我对这件事有什么想说的吗 |
| [11:02] | I cannot believe my ears. | 我简直不敢相信我的耳朵 |
| [11:08] | Whoo, boy! | 哇 |
| [11:09] | Who let the frogs out, huh? | 谁把青蛙放出来了哈 |
| [11:11] | Grandpa! | 外公 |
| [11:13] | – Grandpa? – That sounds patriarchal! | – 外公 – 这听着是个父权社会的词啊 |
| [11:15] | It means “father of fathers”. | 意思是”父辈的父亲” |
| [11:17] | Then this one is not you slave, | 这么说他不是你的奴隶 |
| [11:19] | and your Earth is yet another planet dominated by men. | 你们的地球不过是另一个被男人统治的星球罢了 |
| [11:22] | It’s not dominated by us, okay? | 地球没有被男人”统治” 好吗 |
| [11:24] | On Earth, men and women are equals. | 地球上的男女是平等的 |
| [11:26] | Equals? We make 70% of your salary for the same job! | 平等的 同样的工作我们的工资只有你们的百分之70 |
| [11:29] | Seize them! | 抓住他们 |
| [11:32] | Was this really the time to make that point, Summer? | 这种情况下说这个真的好吗 Summer |
| [11:37] | This is for you, daddy. | 给你 爸爸 |
| [11:39] | Oh, man! | 天啊 |
| [11:40] | Um, okay. Listen to me, Morty Jr. | 听我说 小Morty |
| [11:42] | I’ve got to tell you something very important, okay? | 我得跟你说一些很重要的事 好吗 |
| [11:44] | Killing is bad, bad! | 杀戮是不好的 |
| [11:48] | You’re silly, daddy. | 你在犯傻吧 爸爸 |
| [11:49] | No, Morty Jr. I’m being serious, okay? | 不 小Morty 我很认真 |
| [11:51] | You need to put your energy into something else. | 你得把精力花在别的东西上 |
| [11:54] | I mean, what about dancing? | 跳舞怎么样 |
| [11:55] | Would you like to learn how to dance? | 你想学跳舞吗 |
| [11:56] | I’d like to dance, on the grave of my enemies. | 我想跳舞啊 在敌人的坟墓上跳 |
| [11:59] | Ohh! No, Morty Jr.! | 不 小Morty |
| [12:04] | Daddy, can I go outside? | 爸爸 我能去外面吗 |
| [12:05] | No! Absolutely not! | 不行 绝对不行 |
| [12:07] | But that’s where all the people and the animals are. | 可是人和动物都在外面啊 |
| [12:09] | Yeah, but you can’t go out there because the- | 没错 但是你不能出去 因为 |
| [12:11] | the air is poisonous for you! | 外面的空气对你是有毒的 |
| [12:13] | You will die-You’ll die instantly if you ever leave this house! | 你会死掉的 只要出了这间屋子你就会死 |
| [12:16] | You hear me? | 明白吗 |
| [12:17] | – For real? – For real times a million, buddy. | – 真的吗 – 比珍珠还真 |
| [12:19] | So let’s just stay inside, and, you know, let’s just try dancing, right? | 我们就好好待在屋子里好吗 我们跳舞吧 来试一下 好吗 |
| [12:23] | Look at me. Yay! Look. | 看我呀 看 |
| [12:24] | We’re gonna dance. Come on. Join- dance with me here. | 来跳舞啊 来嘛 跟我一起跳 |
| [12:26] | We love to dance. | 我们喜欢跳舞 |
| [12:27] | Why do we love to dance? | 为什么我们喜欢跳舞 |
| [12:28] | Because I said so! | 我说喜欢就喜欢 |
| [12:33] | – Nice. – Nice. | – 好样的 – 干得好 |
| [12:39] | So, what are you in for? | 你们犯了什么事 |
| [12:41] | Because I got- I got a big, you know, penis between my legs. | 因为我两腿之间有根鸡鸡 |
| [12:44] | What- what- what are you in for? | 你做了什么 |
| [12:46] | The worst crime a female can commit. | 女人所能犯下的最深的罪 |
| [12:49] | Veronica Ann Bennett, I find you guilty of having bad bangs. | Veronica Ann Bennett 因难看的刘海 我宣判你有罪 |
| [12:53] | You ever notice the ones with bad bangs always have three names? | 你发现没 刘海难看的人名字总是有三个字 |
| [12:57] | You are hereby sentenced to the silent treatment! | 你在此被判处沉默刑 |
| [13:02] | This is gonna be cake. | 这一点也不吓人好吗 |
| [13:04] | Jackie Jackie! | |
| [13:05] | Rick and Summer of Earth, | 来自地球的Rick和Summer |
| [13:07] | for the crimes of treason against womankind | 因为你们对女人性的背叛 |
| [13:09] | and for creating the sound of which we do not speak | 以及发出我们不使用的声音 |
| [13:12] | because it does not exist. | 因为这种声音根本不存在 |
| [13:13] | You’re hereby sentenced to- | 我在此判处你们 |
| [13:16] | What, what, what- a night on the couch? | 啥啥啥 在沙发上过夜吗 |
| [13:17] | …Death. | 死刑 |
| [13:19] | I hate you so much right now. | 我现在恨死你了 |
| [13:21] | This will be the first instance of capital punishment | 这是我们这么多年来的第一例死刑 |
| [13:24] | in our society in 500 years due to our awesomeness, | 因为我们的卓越 已经500年没有过死刑了 |
| [13:27] | so we are forced to improvise. | 所以我们只能即兴发挥了 |
| [13:29] | We placed a large boulder on that ledge. | 我们在那边的岩架上放了一块巨石 |
| [13:33] | Holy shit! Y-y-you’re gonna crash us with a boulder? | 天啦 你们打算用巨石压死我们 |
| [13:35] | No! Stop interrupting! | 不是 别打岔 |
| [13:37] | The boulder falls onto a lever | 巨石会落到杠杆装置上 |
| [13:39] | that will lauch knives. | 然后弹出刀刃 |
| [13:41] | What? Just give me a gun. I’ll kill myself. | 啥 给我把枪让我把自己崩了吧 |
| [13:44] | Stop interrupting! The knives will- | 别打岔了 然后刀刃会 |
| [13:47] | Fine! You were right the first time, okay? | 好吧 你一开始说对了 |
| [13:50] | The boulder crushes you. | 巨石会压死你们 |
| [13:52] | I just didn’t want to admit you were right. Happy? | 我只是不想承认 高兴了吗 |
| [13:54] | No, just ignore them. Ignore them. | 别这样 别理他们 别理他们就好 |
| [13:55] | Such an asshole. | 真是个混球 |
| [13:57] | Look, I’m sorry, Summer. | 对不起 Summer |
| [13:58] | I feel bad that I let you drag us into this. | 我没有尽到责任 害你让我们卷入了这种事 |
| [14:01] | I wish I could have been a better grandpa to you， | 我这个外公当得不够好 |
| [14:03] | and, you know, for what it’s worth, | 还有 发自内心的说 |
| [14:04] | that is a really nice, cute top that you’re wearing there. | 上衣很可爱 你穿着很好看 |
| [14:06] | Top. My top. The same top you complimented earlier! | 上衣 我的上衣 就是你之前称赞过的那件上衣 |
| [14:11] | Look- Look at the tag. Read it. | 看标签 看上面的字 |
| [14:14] | It says, “Marc Jacobs”. | 上面写着”Marc Jacobs” |
| [14:17] | Marc Jacob Marc? Jacob? | |
| [14:19] | These are names of the penis. | 这不是男人的名字吗 |
| [14:21] | Yes. An Earth man made this top. | 没错 一个地球男人设计了这件上衣 |
| [14:24] | Maybe on your planet separation of the genders is the right thing to do, | 或许在你们的星球上 性别隔离是对的 |
| [14:28] | But on Earth, a certain percentage of our males are born gay, | 但有一部分男性是作为同性恋出生在地球上的 |
| [14:32] | which is why my clothes are better than all of yours. | 所以我的衣服才比你们所有人的衣服都好看 |
| [14:35] | A man made something fashionable? | 创造时尚的男人 |
| [14:37] | It’s true. And sometimes the truth hurts, | 这是事实 有时候事实是残酷的 |
| [14:40] | but it must be accepted, like if I told you | 但它必须被接受 就好比我跟你说 |
| [14:43] | that you’re using the wrong color foundation for you skin | 你粉底的颜色选错了 |
| [14:46] | and it ends at your neck, | 而且到脖子那儿就没了 |
| [14:47] | making you look like a party clown. | 你看着就跟派对小丑一样 |
| [14:49] | Okay, ouch. Noted. | 好吧 我记住了 |
| [14:50] | But the fact remains if you impose Gazorpazor’s laws on Earth, | 但如果你们把格索尔帕索普星的法律强加在地球上 |
| [14:54] | you’re no better than the man whose farts shall remain unspoken. | 那你们比这个乱发出屁声的男人也好不到哪儿去 |
| [14:58] | And if you think my top is cute, you cannot execute. | 如果你们觉得我的上衣很好看 那你们就不能处死我们 |
| [15:04] | Very well. Give the Earth people a spacecraft | 很好 给这些地球人一艘太空船 |
| [15:06] | so they may head back to their weird planet, | 让他们回那个奇怪的星球去吧 |
| [15:08] | where women are kind of equal but not really. | 那里男女平等 但又不尽然 |
| [15:11] | Good job, Summer. And thanks, girls. | 干得好 Summer 谢谢了 妹子们 |
| [15:13] | You know, you girls are really something, I’ll tell you that. | 我跟你说 你们这些妹子真是厉害啊 |
| [15:16] | You know, when we first got here, I was like… | 我刚到这儿的时候 |
| [15:18] | Give them a ship now. | 给他们艘飞船 快点 |
| [15:20] | Morty Jr.! Smoking?! | 小Morty 你在抽烟 |
| [15:23] | That is not okay! | 这样可不行 |
| [15:24] | What are you gonna do? Ground me? | 你能干嘛 禁我足吗 |
| [15:25] | I can’t go outside anyway! | 反正我也不能出去 |
| [15:27] | So what?! You could do things inside! | 那又怎么样 你可以在屋子里玩啊 |
| [15:29] | You could play guitar. You could masturbate. | 你可以弹吉他啊 你可以手淫啊 |
| [15:32] | I don’t want to masturbate. I want to conquer the planet! | 我不想手淫 我想征服地球 |
| [15:34] | Oh, here we go again! | 又来了 |
| [15:36] | Who do you think is gonna love you if you conquer the planet, Morty Jr.?! | 如果你征服了地球 谁还会爱你呢 小Morty |
| [15:39] | Love, that’s all you care about! | 爱 你就只关心爱 |
| [15:41] | What about weapons?! What about domination of the enemy?! | 那武器呢 统治敌人呢 |
| [15:44] | All right, that’s it. No more history channel! | 够了 不许再看历史频道了 |
| [15:46] | This TV is for cartoons and video games only! | 这台电视只许用来看动画和玩电子游戏 |
| [15:48] | I hate video games! | 我讨厌电子游戏 |
| [15:50] | You take that back! Give it to me! Ugh! | 给我收回这句话 把遥控器给我 |
| [15:56] | I-I-I didn’t mean, I didn’t mean that. | 我不是故意的 |
| [15:58] | I didn’t mean to do that. I’m sorry. | 我真的不是故意的 对不起 |
| [15:59] | I can’t take this anymore! | 我受不了了 |
| [16:01] | I’d rather breathe poison than live another minute with you! | 我宁愿呼吸毒气也不愿意再和你多待一分钟 |
| [16:03] | No! No, no, no! Stop! | 不不不 不要 |
| [16:11] | My life has been a lie! | 我的人生就是一个谎言 |
| [16:13] | God is dead! | 上帝已死 |
| [16:14] | The government’s lame! | 政府烂透了 |
| [16:14] | Thanksgiving is about killing Indians! | 感恩节其实是屠杀印第安人的节日 |
| [16:16] | Jesus wasn’t born on Christmas! | 耶稣不是出生在圣诞的 |
| [16:18] | They moved the date! | 他们改了日期 |
| [16:19] | It was a pagan holiday! | 这是异教徒的节日 |
| [16:21] | Oh, dad! | 爸 |
| [16:21] | Yes, Morty? | 怎么了 Morty |
| [16:22] | My son is gonna take over the planet, and I am too young to drive! | 我儿子要占领地球 我却还不到开车的年龄 |
| [16:25] | Can you help me get him back?! | 你能帮我把他找回来吗 |
| [16:27] | I suppose, Morty. I suppose. | 可以吧 Morty 应该可以吧 |
| [16:31] | But first, a deep sip from a very tall glass of “I told you so.” | 不过呢 先让我从这”早告诉你了”的高杯中啜饮一口 |
| [16:41] | Oh, my god! Please, dad! Come on! | 天啊 得了吧 |
| [17:30] | Dad, there he is! | 爸 他在那儿 |
| [17:34] | Oh, God. Hey, stop that! | 天啊 快住手 |
| [17:35] | Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Dad! | 天啊 天啊 爸 |
| [17:39] | Morty Jr., no! | 小Morty 不要 |
| [17:40] | It’s me! It’s dad. It’s okay! | 是我啊 是爸爸 没事的 |
| [17:44] | Put the car down, Morty Jr. | 把车放下 小Morty |
| [17:46] | No! No! Wh-where’s your hands? | 不 不 小手在哪里 |
| [17:48] | *Where’s your hands?* | *小手在哪里* |
| [17:52] | My car! | 我的车 |
| [17:53] | *And that’s how we play handy hands* | *我们来玩挥挥手* |
| [17:58] | Out of the- out of the way, Morty! | 闪开 Morty |
| [17:59] | – No! – Morty, that’s one of the most violently aggressive creatures in the universe! | – 不 – Morty 这是全宇宙最暴力的生物之一 |
| [18:03] | He’s my son! | 他是我儿子 |
| [18:04] | And if you hurt him, you’ll have to kill me, Rick! | 你想要伤害他 就先夸过我的尸体吧 Rick |
| [18:13] | Dad, I’m so confused! | 爸 我好迷茫 |
| [18:16] | I know, Morty Jr. I’m sorry. | 我知道 小Morty 对不起 |
| [18:18] | I ended up lying to you and yelling at you just like my parents did to me. | 我最后还是像我父母对我那样 和你撒谎 对你大喊大叫了 |
| [18:22] | You know, parents are just kids having kids. | 父母也不过是有了小孩的孩子罢了 |
| [18:24] | One minute, you like how a shiny robot looks. | 前一分钟 你还觉得那个闪闪的机器人很好看 |
| [18:27] | The next minute, you’re in a fist fight with your alien son. | 下一分钟 你就在和你的外星儿子肉搏了 |
| [18:31] | I’m an alien? | 我是外星人 |
| [18:32] | We all have bad impulses, bad thoughts. | 我们都有糟糕的冲动 邪恶的念头 |
| [18:35] | We just have to learn to channel them into something constructive. | 我们只是要学会把它们传变成别的有用的东西 |
| [18:38] | But I want to murder everyone I see. | 但我想杀掉我看见的每一个人 |
| [18:40] | Well, you know, I mean, maybe there’s a job out there for people that feel that way. | 说不定就有一份工作适合有这样想法的人呢 |
| [18:44] | Actually, there is. | 的确是有的 |
| [18:45] | Hi. I’m Brad Anderson, creator of the nationally syndicated comic strip “Marmaduke”. | 嗨 我是Brad Aderson 全国连载的连环漫画《大丹麦狗马默杜克》的作者 |
| [18:50] | You should consider being a creative. | 你应该考虑从事创作 |
| [18:52] | I’m haunted by uncontrollable thoughts of | 我深受自己那些无法控制的念头的困扰 |
| [18:54] | mutilations and sexual assaults on a near daily basis. | 我几乎每天脑海中萦绕着致残和性侵 |
| [18:57] | But, you know, I channel it all into my work. | 但我把它们变为了我的作品 |
| [19:00] | Oh. Wow. | 哦 哇 |
| [19:01] | Huh. I never got that impression from reading “Marmaduke”. | 我看《大丹麦狗马默杜克》的时候从没发现这一点啊 |
| [19:04] | Well, did you get the impression that I was trying to make you laugh? | 难道你觉得我在想方设法地让你笑吗 |
| [19:09] | Tell me that wasn’t Brad Anderson. | 不是吧 那是Brad Anderson |
| [19:11] | Aw, see? You hear that, Morty Jr.? | 看见了吗 你听到了吧 小Morty |
| [19:13] | Maybe you could try being a creative of some kind. | 或许你也可以从事某种创作呢 |
| [19:15] | Maybe! | 或许吧 |
| [19:16] | I always have sort of wanted to see my face on the back of a novel. | 我一直都挺想让自己的脸出现在某本小说的背面 |
| [19:19] | I mean, what I really want to do is slit people’s throats, but beyond that… | 虽然我真正想做的是割开别人的喉咙 但除了这个 |
| [19:24] | I know you can do it, son. | 你一定可以的 儿子 |
| [19:25] | I think it’s time I get a place of my own. | 我想我该找个地方自己住了 |
| [19:29] | I promise I’ll call you every day I need money or a place to do laundry. | 我保证 只要我缺钱或是没地方洗衣服了都会给你打电话的 |
| [19:40] | So, I assume this novel your son writes is gonna pay for my rear axle? | 我想你儿子会拿他小说的稿费赔我的车后轴的吧 |
| [19:46] | Isn’t it interesting, Summer, that after all that stuff we just did, | 挺有趣的吧 Summer 我们做了这么多事 |
| [19:50] | nothing really mattered and there was no point to it? | 都没起什么作用 没有什么意义 |
| [19:52] | Kind of makes you wonder, huh, about nothing? | 是不是让你什么都没有思考 |
| [19:55] | Are you sure it doesn’t make you re-evaluate your policy | 你确定你不会重新考虑下 |
| [19:58] | about taking girls on adventures? | 你不带女孩子去冒险这件事 |
| [19:59] | No. I’d say, given what we’ve been through, | 不 鉴于我们今天的经历 |
| [20:01] | that I was right the whole time | 我只想说我一直都是对的 |
| [20:03] | and any epiphanies about gender politics | 任何关于性别政策的感悟 |
| [20:05] | were a projection of your feminine insecurity. | 都只是你身为女性的不安全感的表现而已 |
| [20:07] | But, hey, why don’t you have a pink spaceship? | 不过你把这艘粉色太空船拿去吧 |
| [20:09] | Go ride around and have a jolly old time. | 开着它到处转转 好好玩玩 |
| [20:12] | Maybe that’ll shut you up. | 这样说不定你就会闭嘴了 |
| [20:13] | Dad? Summer? Where were you guys this whole time? | 爸 Summer 这么长时间你们跑哪儿去了 |
| [20:15] | On Gazorpazorp. Where were you? | 在格索尔帕索普星 你呢 |
| [20:17] | I was reading a newspaper. | 我在看报纸 |
| [20:18] | Oh, that’s interesting, Beth. | 真有意思 Beth |
| [20:19] | You know, it’s funny. | 好玩的是 |
| [20:20] | I-I-I heard about a little bit of news myself. | 我也听说了点儿新闻 |
| [20:23] | Take a look. T-take a listen. | 看着 听着 |
| [20:29] | Wubba lubba dub dubs Wubba lubba dub dubs! | |
| [20:32] | This, this world still got a- It’s still got a chance! | 这个世界还是有机会的 |
| [20:34] | Yeah! Ha ha! | 没错 哈哈 |
| [20:36] | See you- see you guys next week! | 下周见 |
| [20:38] | See everybody next week. | 大家下周见 |
| [21:10] | A word with Mortimer Smith, Jr., New York Times best-selling author, | 今天我们请到了小Mortimer Smith 纽约时报最畅销的作者 |
| [21:12] | your book is about innocence, the definition of it, | 您的书写到了纯洁及其定义 |
| [21:14] | and inevitably its impossibility. | 当然 不可避免地 谈到了它的不可实现 |
| [21:16] | Is it autobiographical? | 这本书是自传性质的吗 |
| [21:18] | Certainly. I mean, all writing is, in my opinion. | 当然 在我看来 所有的写作都是 |
| [21:22] | But my, uh, my father kept me locked in the house until I was a teenager, | 我父亲一直把我锁在房子里 直到我成长为一个青少年 |
| [21:31] | and there was violence and, uh, threats of poison gas, but also dancing. | 有过暴力 有过毒气的威胁 但也有舞蹈 |
| [21:37] | But you persevered and created this masterpiece from your sufferings. | 但你撑住了 并用你的苦难完成了这部杰作 |
| [21:41] | Smith Jr.’s mind-bending novel, “My Horrible Father” in every store and on everyone’s mind. | 小Smith令人震惊的小说《我可怕的父亲》正风靡全国 直指人心 |
| [21:46] | Pick it up. We’ll be right back. | 快去买吧 我们马上回来 |
| [21:47] | It’s a thankless job, Morty. | 为人父母本来就是吃力不讨好 Morty |
| [21:49] | You did the best you could. | 你已经尽力了 |
| [21:51] | I hope he’s eating enough. | 我只希望他吃得好 |