时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:04] | Cynthia… Cynthia | |
[00:05] | Oh, My God. No. No. | 噢 天哪 不要啊 |
[00:07] | – I told you. – Hold on. | – 都跟你说了 – 等等 |
[00:09] | Will you please… | 你能不能 |
[00:10] | Not marry me? I chose Veronica | 不要嫁给我 我选Veronica |
[00:12] | – What?! – Yes! – Hold it. | – 搞什么 – 太好了 – 淡定 |
[00:14] | Why would he chose Veronica? | 他干嘛选Veronica |
[00:15] | Because he loves her? | 因为他爱她 |
[00:17] | Well, if it’s any consolation, Summer, | 不知道这么说能不能让你好受点 Summer |
[00:18] | none of it mattered and the entire show was stupid. | 你管他为啥呢 这节目就是个渣 |
[00:20] | Okay, I’ve got an idea, Rick. | 好啊 Rick 不如这样 |
[00:22] | You show us your concept of good TV | 你来让我们看看什么节目好看 |
[00:24] | and we’ll crap all over that. | 我们来吐槽 |
[00:26] | Thought you’d never ask. | 就等着你问呢 |
[00:28] | Hey! | 嘿 |
[00:30] | Oh, cool. | 噢 酷 |
[00:30] | Is that Crystallized Xanthanite? | 这是晶化Xanthanite吧 |
[00:32] | It conducts electrons across dimensions. | 它可以在次元之间传导电子 |
[00:34] | 20% accurate as usual, Morty. | 你又只说对了20% Morty |
[00:36] | The important thing being, | 重点是 |
[00:38] | I just upgraded our cable package with | 我升级了我们的有线电视套餐 |
[00:39] | programing from every conceivable reality. | 它现在能收到所有可能的平行现实的电视节目 |
[00:41] | Wait. Does that mean we get Showtime Extreme? | 那我们是不是能收到Showtime Extreme了 |
[00:43] | How about Showtime Extreme in a world where man evolved from corn? | 玉米人世界的Showtime Extreme如何 |
[00:46] | We’re not so different. | 我们没什么不同 |
[00:47] | We’re both corn of action. | 我们都是行动派玉米 |
[00:48] | Yeah, but one of us is dead corn! | 对 但我们其中一个是死玉米 |
[00:51] | Boring. | 无聊 |
[00:52] | Summer, you just spent three months | Summer 你刚花了三个月 |
[00:54] | Watching a man chose a fake wife. | 看一个男人怎么选假老婆 |
[00:56] | So, what, it’d be better if the people were corn? | 那又怎样 变成玉米人就好看了 |
[00:58] | Jerry, you don’t get it. | Jerry 你没明白 |
[00:59] | This is infinite TV from infinite universes. | 这是来自无限宇宙的无限电视节目 |
[01:02] | Look. | 瞧瞧 |
[01:03] | This shit is delicious. | 这屎真好吃 |
[01:05] | A movie about a guy eating shit. | 一部关于吃屎的电影 |
[01:08] | A violent antique show. | 暴力古董秀 |
[01:10] | It’s a pleasure to have you. | 很荣幸能邀请到你 |
[01:12] | The pleasure’s all mine. | 荣幸的是我 |
[01:13] | Letterman from a timeline where Jerry’s famous. | 某时空里出名的Jerry出现在”Letterman”节目中 |
[01:15] | – Wait! – What in the hell? | – 等一下 – 搞什么 |
[01:17] | I agree. Where is this going? | 我同意 这是要闹哪样 |
[01:18] | No, the other thing! Go back. | 不 不是这个 换回去 |
[01:20] | Really? All right, fine. | 真的假的 好吧 |
[01:21] | Glen, this is a court order. | Glen 这是法院命令 |
[01:23] | It says you can’t eat shit any more. | 你以后都不许吃屎了 |
[01:26] | All right, Jerry. | 好吧 Jerry |
[01:26] | When you’re right, you’re right. | 难得你说对一回嘛 |
[01:27] | Now I’m hooked. | 这电影确实好看 |
[02:01] | Coming up next on “Shmloo’s the shmloss,” | 接下来是”屎木的屎木拉” |
[02:03] | Shmlony has a nightmare. | 屎木尼做了个噩梦 |
[02:05] | Shamlantha! Shmlona! | 屎木曼莎 屎木娜 |
[02:07] | Amazing | 真神奇 |
[02:07] | A dimension where all proper nouns begin with “Shmla.” | 这个次元所有的专有名词开头都是”屎木” |
[02:10] | Shmla Shmalangela? | 屎木拉 屎木安吉拉 |
[02:12] | Shmlonathan? | 屎木纳森 |
[02:14] | All right, that actually got old pretty quick. | 好吧 一下子就看烦了 |
[02:16] | Rick, will you please go back to me on “David Letterman”? | Rick 你能不能调回去接着看我上”David Letterman” |
[02:21] | Infinity’s big number, Jerry. | 无限的电视台有点多啊 Jerry |
[02:22] | I don’t remember the channel. | 我记不清是哪个台了 |
[02:23] | Ah! Go back! Go back! | 噢 刚才那个台 往回调 |
[02:25] | Geez. | 天啊 |
[02:25] | You speak the true-true. | 你说的是真真 |
[02:27] | Oh, my god. Dad”s in “Cloud Atlas”! | 天啊 老爸 你出演了《云图》 |
[02:30] | I’m in “Cloud Atlas”! | 我出演了《云图》 |
[02:31] | What’s “Cloud Atlas”? | 《云图》是啥 |
[02:32] | Sometimes, small true-true | 有时候小真真 |
[02:34] | Different than the big true-true. | 不同于大真真 |
[02:36] | How is this possible? | 这怎么可能 |
[02:38] | Infinite timelines, infinite possibilities, | 无限种时空就会有无限种可能 |
[02:40] | Including a timeline where jerry’s a movie star. | 自然会有某个时空Jerry是电影明星 |
[02:42] | Look, you guys are getting excited about | 你们简直瞎激动 |
[02:44] | the wrong aspect to this device. | 完全不明白这个装置意义何在 |
[02:45] | Wha-look at this. | 看这个 |
[02:47] | And now, another quick mystery. | 新一集”快快悬疑案” |
[02:50] | I just want to know who could have done something like this. | 我只想知道 是谁能干出这种事 |
[02:52] | It’s a travesty. | 简直是人性的扭曲 |
[02:53] | I did. | 是我干的 |
[02:54] | See this knife and all the blood on it? | 这是一把带血的刀 |
[02:55] | Here’s my fingerprints. | 这是我的指纹 |
[02:56] | Guilty. I sentence you to life in prison. | 有罪 判处你无期徒刑 |
[02:59] | Here’s another quick mystery. | 下一个”快速悬疑案” |
[03:00] | My mother’s dead. | 我母亲死了 |
[03:01] | And I killed her. | 我杀了她 |
[03:02] | Here’s the weapon, and cuff me. Thank you very much. | 这是凶器 请把我铐起来 谢谢 |
[03:05] | Guilty. Sentenced to murder. | 有罪 杀人偿命 |
[03:08] | – Here’s another. – I’m the killer. | – 下一个 – 我是凶手 |
[03:10] | Oh, wow, that one was really quick, wasn’t it? | 噢 还真是够快的 |
[03:13] | Now, who wants to watch random, | 谁现在想看 |
[03:14] | crazy TV shows from different dimensions, | 不同次元随机的奇葩电视节目 |
[03:16] | and, and then who wants to narcissistically obsess about | 哪些自恋狂想看 |
[03:20] | their alternate selves? | 另一次元的自己 |
[03:21] | I want to obsess about myself. | 我想看自己 |
[03:24] | Here, these scan your retinas and let you | 这个装置能通过扫描视网膜 |
[03:26] | view parallel timelines through genetically | 让你亲眼看到另一个 |
[03:28] | matching versions of your eyes. | 平行宇宙的自己看到的东西 |
[03:29] | Go fetch. | 去捡吧 |
[03:30] | – This is so cool. – Ladies first. | – 太酷了 – 女士优先 |
[03:32] | I’m proud of you, Morty. | Morty 我为你骄傲 |
[03:33] | Hey, man. I don’t give a crap about myself, Rick | 我才不关心我自己呢 |
[03:35] | Let’s watch some crazy stuff, yo. | 咱快看些猎奇的东西吧 |
[03:37] | I’m ants in my eyes Johnson, | 我是”满眼蚂蚁”Johnson |
[03:39] | Here at ants in my eyes Johnson’s electronics. | 这里是”满眼蚂蚁”Johnson电器城 |
[03:41] | I mean, there’s many ants in my eyes. | 我的眼睛上有好多蚂蚁啊 |
[03:43] | And there’s so many TVs, | 这里有好多电视机 |
[03:44] | microwaves, radios, I think. | 微波炉 收音机 应该吧 |
[03:47] | I can’t — I’m not 100% sure | 我不 我不能百分百确定 |
[03:48] | what we have here in stock | 这里都有什么 |
[03:49] | Because I can’t see any thing. | 因为我啥也看不见 |
[03:51] | Our prices, I hope, aren’t too low. | 我只希望我们的价格不要太低 |
[03:54] | Check out this refrigerator, | 瞧瞧这个冰箱 |
[03:55] | Only $200. | 仅售两百块 |
[03:56] | What about this microwave? | 再瞧瞧这个微波炉 |
[03:57] | Only $100. That’s fair. | 只要一百块 物美价廉 |
[03:59] | I’m ants in my eyes Johnson. | 我是”满眼蚂蚁”Johnson |
[04:01] | Everything’s black. | 我的眼前漆黑一片 |
[04:02] | I can’t see a thing. | 什么都看不见 |
[04:03] | And also, I can’t feel anything, either. | 而且我什么都感觉不到 |
[04:06] | Did I mention that? | 我有提到过没 |
[04:07] | But that’s not as catchy as having ants in your eyes, | 但这点不像我满眼蚂蚁这点那么引人注目 |
[04:10] | so that always goes… you know, off by the wayside. | 这样走在街边上总是怪怪的 |
[04:12] | I can’t feel. It’s a very rare disease. | 我没有知觉 这种病很罕见的 |
[04:14] | All my, all my nerves, | 我所有的神经 |
[04:16] | They don’t allow for the sensation of touch, | 都没有触觉 |
[04:19] | So I never know what’s going on. | 我从来都不知道发生了啥 |
[04:20] | Am I standing, sitting? I don’t know. | 我这是站着呢 坐着呢 不知道啊 |
[04:22] | Are we sure we want to do this? | 我们真的要做这事儿吗 |
[04:23] | Look at our own alternate lives? | 看看自己的另一种人生 |
[04:25] | You’re right. Maybe we should just play Yahtzee. | 对啊 咱们还是玩快艇骰子好了 |
[04:27] | Give me those. | 快给我 |
[04:29] | What do you see? | 看到什么了 |
[04:30] | Whiteness | 白色 |
[04:31] | pure whiteness. | 纯白色 |
[04:35] | You’re my best friend, Jerry Smith. | 你是我最好的朋友 Jerry Smith |
[04:37] | I love doing cocaine with you. | 我喜欢和你一起吸可卡因 |
[04:39] | Whoa, I love doing cocaine with you too, johnny Depp. | 哇 我也喜欢和你一起吸可卡因 约翰尼迪普 |
[04:42] | Haven’t we spent enough time on you? | 你还没看够吗 |
[04:46] | I’m performing surgery…but not | 我正在做手术 但是 |
[04:49] | On a horse – on a human. | 不是给马 是给人做 |
[04:50] | That’s great, Beth. | 太好了 Beth |
[04:51] | You always wanted to be a real surgeon. | 你一直想当个真正的外科医生 |
[04:53] | I am a real surgeon. | 我就是真正的外科医生 |
[04:56] | Um… Summer’s turn. | 呃 到你了 Summer |
[04:57] | Finally. | 终于到我了 |
[04:59] | I don’t see anything. | 什么都看不到 |
[05:01] | Well, you should select different timeline. | 你换一个时空试试 |
[05:03] | I mean, if your father and I achieved our dreams, | 如果这个世界里我和你爸爸都实现了自己的梦 |
[05:05] | There’s a chance you aren’t even born. | 那就说明你有可能根本就没有出生 |
[05:06] | That came out wrong. That came out very wrong. | 我说出来就后悔了 |
[05:09] | Fine. | 很好 |
[05:10] | I’ll find a world where you bothered to have me. | 我换一个你们不嫌我多余的时空 |
[05:16] | We’re playing Yahtzee. | 我们在玩快艇骰子 |
[05:17] | Yahtzee’s fun. We love Yahzee. | 快艇骰子好 我们都爱玩快艇骰子 |
[05:20] | It’s a fun game for fun families. | 好家庭玩好游戏 |
[05:21] | Hey, could I get those goggles back for a second? | 嗨 把眼镜再给我玩会儿 |
[05:23] | It’s a 45 horsepower with antilock brakes, | 这台车具有功率为45马力的引擎和防抱死刹车系统 |
[05:26] | And it’s the official car of “Mr. Sneezy 3D”. | 并且是”喷嚏先生3D版”的官方用车 |
[05:30] | It’s the brand new sneezy XL. | 它是全新的喷嚏第40代产品 |
[05:33] | The horn, when you honk it, | 当你按下喇叭的时候 |
[05:34] | Makes a sneeze noise. | 会发出打喷嚏的声音 |
[05:36] | It’s polite, it’s right, | 它文雅 恰到好处 |
[05:38] | and it’s sneezy, dezzy, Mc…deluxe. | 它很喷嚏 很华丽 Mc 奢华(似乎是押韵接不下去了) |
[05:43] | I’m Mr. Sneezy. | 我是喷嚏先生 |
[05:45] | Huh, seems like TV from other dimensions has a somewhat looser feel to it. | 貌似其他次元的电视感觉稍微随意一点 |
[05:50] | Yeah, it’s got an almost improvisational tone. | 没错 这几乎是即兴表演的口气 |
[05:52] | It’s in theaters now. | 各院线正在热播的电影 |
[05:54] | Coming this summer. | 今夏即将上映 |
[05:55] | Two brothers in a van, | 货车中的两兄弟 |
[05:57] | and then a meteor hits. | 遭遇流星撞击 |
[05:59] | And they ran as fast as they could | 于是他们拼命想要摆脱 |
[06:01] | from giant cat monsters. | 巨猫怪的威胁 |
[06:03] | And then a giant tornado came. | 然后巨型龙卷风侵袭 |
[06:05] | And that’s when things got knocked into 12th gear. | 就在这时 事态发展到了十二档 |
[06:11] | A Mexican armada shows up, | 一个墨西哥舰队出现了 |
[06:13] | With weapons made from t-tomatoes. | 装备着番 番茄制成的武器 |
[06:17] | And you better bet your bottom dollar | 你最好赌上全部家当 |
[06:19] | that these two brothers know how to handle business in | 相信两兄弟有办法应对这 |
[06:23] | “alien invasion tomato monster Mexican armada brothers,” | “外星人入侵番茄怪兽墨西哥舰队 |
[06:28] | “who are just regular brothers, running in a van from an asteroid and all sort of things: The movie.” | 驾货车躲避流星和各种东西的普通兄弟 大电影” |
[06:36] | Hold on. There’s more. | 等等 还不止这些 |
[06:38] | Old women are coming, and they’re also in the movie. | 一些老女人也将要在电影中现身 |
[06:41] | And they’re gonna come and cross attack these two brothers. | 他们将交叉进攻这两兄弟 |
[06:46] | But let’s get back to the brothers, | 但让我们回到两兄弟 |
[06:47] | because they’re…they have a strong bond. | 因为他们是 他们兄弟齐心 |
[06:50] | You don’t want to know about it here, | 你现在还不想知道 |
[06:51] | but I’ll tell you one thing. | 但我要告诉你一件事 |
[06:53] | The moon. It comes crashing into earth. | 月亮 它撞向了地球 |
[06:55] | And what do you do then? | 如果是你你要怎么办 |
[06:56] | It’s two brothers and-and they’re gonna… | 这就是两兄弟 而且他们将要 |
[06:59] | it’s called “two brothers”. | 这部电影叫做”两兄弟” |
[07:01] | “two brothers” | “两兄弟” |
[07:02] | It’s just called “two brothers.” | 就叫”两兄弟” |
[07:04] | Holy crap. | 妈呀 |
[07:05] | I am winning a Nobel Prize. | 我得诺贝尔奖了 |
[07:06] | Come on. Time’s up. | 好了 时间到了 |
[07:09] | I’m taming a lion. | 我在驯狮子 |
[07:10] | No, wait. | 不 等等 |
[07:11] | There are film cameras. | 有摄像机 |
[07:12] | I might be a lion tamer in a movie. | 我可能是在电影里演个驯狮员 |
[07:15] | You get the idea. I work with lions. | 懂我意思就行了 我和狮子一起工作 |
[07:19] | Ohh, we’re not playing yahtzee. | 我们没在玩快艇骰子 |
[07:21] | We’re playing chutes and ladders. | 我们在玩滑道和梯子 |
[07:23] | Seems like when I exist, | 好像我存在的时候 |
[07:25] | life gets a little more…I don’t know…predictable? | 生活就变得更 我也不知道 有规律可循了 |
[07:28] | When two people create a life together, | 当两个人共同创造了另一个生命的时候 |
[07:30] | they set aside their previous lives as individuals. | 他们就会把以前作为独立个体的生活放在一边 |
[07:33] | Give me a break. | 得了吧 |
[07:34] | We’re not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night. | 说得这么冠冕堂皇 我们只是毕业舞会晚上没做保护措施上床了 |
[07:37] | Oh, I get it. | 哦 我懂了 |
[07:39] | Now that you know you could have had it better, | 因为你知道你本可以过得更好 |
[07:40] | you resent me for holding you back. | 所以你愤恨我拖了你的后腿 |
[07:44] | Well, now that we know you think the tables are turning, | 如果你觉得现在我们俩立场互换了 |
[07:46] | we know you thought there were unturned tables. | 那就是变相承认 你以前觉得我拖累了你 |
[07:48] | What are you talking about? | 你究竟在说什么 |
[07:49] | All this time, you’ve been thinking, | 这么久以来 你都在想 |
[07:51] | “what if that loser, Jerry, hadn’t talked me out of the abortion?” | “如果当初我没有因为Jerry那个屌丝而放弃堕胎会怎么样” |
[07:54] | – Um… – Well, now you know, you’d be a doctor. | – 呃 – 现在你知道了 你会成为一个医生 |
[07:57] | You’d also be drinking wine alone in a house full of exotic birds. | 你还会在充满奇异禽鸟的房间里自斟自饮 |
[08:01] | And I’d be on dicaprio’s yacht, | 而我将会在迪卡普里奥的游艇上 |
[08:03] | banging Kristen Stewart. | 和Kristen Stewart打炮 |
[08:04] | You thought about getting an abortion? | 你们居然想过堕胎 |
[08:06] | Everyone thinks about it. | 每个人都想过好么 |
[08:07] | Obviously, I’m the version of me that didn’t do it, | 显而易见 这个版本的我没有堕胎 |
[08:10] | so you’re welcome. | 所以不用谢 |
[08:11] | Yeah, you’re welcome. | 没错 不谢 |
[08:12] | Yeah, thank you guys so much. | 真太谢谢你们了 |
[08:14] | It’s real treat | 我真幸运 |
[08:15] | to be raised by parents | 能被逼不得已才在一起 |
[08:16] | that forced themselves to be together instead of being happy. | 而不是出于幸福结婚的父母养大 |
[08:19] | Hey, do we have any wafer cookies? | 嘿 我们还有威化饼干吗 |
[08:21] | Mmm! | 好吃 |
[08:23] | Oh, boy. | 哦 天啊 |
[08:24] | Looks like you guys have been checking out alternate lives | 看来你们看过了另一种生活方式 |
[08:26] | and realizing you don’t have it as good, huh? | 然后发现自己过得不够好 是吗 |
[08:28] | That’s too bad. | 太悲哀了 |
[08:29] | You know, me and Morty are having a blast. | 我和Morty玩得可开心了 |
[08:30] | We just discovered a show called “Ball fondlers”. | 我们刚刚发现了一个叫”摸蛋人”的节目 |
[08:32] | I mean, I don’t want to rub it in or anything, | 我不想哪壶不开提哪壶 |
[08:34] | but you guys clearly backed the wrong conceptual horse. | 但你们实在是压错宝了 |
[08:49] | I’m in heaven right now. | 我简直身在天堂 |
[08:51] | This might be the best day of my life. | 这可能是我这一生中最棒的一天了 |
[08:52] | So, now what do we do? | 那我们现在怎么办 |
[08:54] | That show “Ball Fondlers” sounded kind of interesting. | 那个叫”摸蛋人”的节目听起来挺有意思的 |
[08:56] | Dad! | 爸爸 |
[08:57] | What?! They’re having fun in there. | 怎么了 他们那么开心 |
[08:59] | What do you guys want from me? | 你们想让我怎么办 |
[09:00] | Every family on this block | 这条街上的每家人 |
[09:01] | has to wonder if they’re together by choice. | 都会想知道他们在一起是不是出于自愿 |
[09:04] | Our family just has interdimensional goggles | 但咱们家却有跨次元眼镜 |
[09:06] | to show us for a fact that we’re not. | 来证明我们不是自愿的 |
[09:08] | Well, I’m leaving. | 够了 我要离开这个家 |
[09:09] | You can’t leave. | 你不能走 |
[09:10] | You’re 17. | 你才17岁 |
[09:11] | Yeah, and I’m not pregnant. | 没错 而且我没有怀孕 |
[09:12] | I’m gonna have better judgment than you guys had at my age. | 我做的判断一定会比你们当年的好 |
[09:15] | I’m gonna move to the southwest and… | 我要搬去西南 然后 |
[09:18] | I don’t know, do something with turquoise. | 我不知道 做点跟绿松石有关的事 |
[09:21] | It’s “Saturday Night Live” | 这里是”周六夜现场” |
[09:25] | Starring a piece of toast | 领衔主演 一块吐司 |
[09:27] | two guys with handlebar mustaches | 两个留八字胡的男人 |
[09:30] | a man painted silver who makes robot noises | 一个涂成银色 发出机器人声音的男人 |
[09:33] | Gar Ma Nar Nar | 嘎玛呐呐 |
[09:34] | Three, um, um, um… | 三个 呃 呃 呃 |
[09:38] | I’ll get back to that one, | 我一会儿再说这个 |
[09:39] | a hole in the wall where the man can see it all, | 墙上一个看得一清二楚的洞 |
[09:43] | and, returning for his 25th consecutive year, | 以及 连续第25年回归的 |
[09:47] | Bobby Moynihan Bobby Moynihan! | |
[09:51] | Interesting fun fact, | 有件有趣的事 |
[09:53] | Moynihan and a piece of toast hate each other. | Moynihan和一片吐司互相憎恨 |
[09:55] | Apparently, they’ve got some real creative differences. | 显然 他们俩有严重的创意分歧 |
[09:58] | Hey, are you tired of real doors cluttering up your house, | 嘿 你是否厌倦了家中散乱的真门 |
[10:01] | where you open them and you atually go somewhere, | 你打开它们 然后真的到什么地方去 |
[10:03] | and you go into another room? | 真的走进一间房间里 |
[10:04] | Get on down to real fake doors. | 来看看这些货真价实的假门吧 |
[10:06] | That’s us. | 也就是我们 |
[10:07] | Fill a whole room up with them. | 整间屋子全都装上 |
[10:08] | See, watch. Check this out. | 像这样 看啊 |
[10:09] | Won’t open. Won’t open. | 打不开 打不开 |
[10:12] | Not this one. Not this one. | 这扇打不开 这扇也打不开 |
[10:14] | None of them open. | 没有一扇能打开 |
[10:15] | Fakedoors.com is our website, so check it out | 我们的网站是fakedoors.com 快来看看 |
[10:18] | for a lot of really great deals on Fake Do-o-o-ors! | 众多实惠的假门吧 |
[10:30] | Hey, wait a minute, Rick. | 嘿 等等 Rick |
[10:31] | I thought this was a commercial. | 我以为那是个广告 |
[10:33] | What’s going on? | 这是怎么回事 |
[10:34] | Relax, Morty. Dont’t-don’t worry about it. | 放松点 Morty 别担心 |
[10:35] | Let’s just see where this goes. | 我们来看看这是怎么回事 |
[10:38] | Step on it! | 赶快啊 |
[10:39] | We all get places to be! | 我们都有事呢 |
[10:41] | Son of a bitch. | 混蛋 |
[10:44] | Oh, that must be where he lives. | 那肯定就是他住的地方了 |
[10:46] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[10:49] | He’s making himself a sandwich now. | 他在给自己做三明治 |
[10:54] | Hey, everybody. | 嘿 各位 |
[10:55] | So, this is my house. | 这是我家 |
[10:56] | Just made a sandwich, peanut butter and jelly. | 刚刚做了个三明治 花生酱加果冻 |
[10:59] | – Still here, still selling fake doors. – What? | – 还是这里 还是在推销假门 – 什么 |
[11:01] | Oh, my god. It’s still the commercial. | 天哪 这还是那个广告 |
[11:03] | We have fake doors like you wouldn’t believe. | 我们的假门 你简直都不敢相信 |
[11:06] | What are you worried about? | 你还在担心什么呢 |
[11:07] | Come get fake doors. | 快来买假门吧 |
[11:08] | Call us up and order some fake doors today. | 今天就拨打电话订购假门吧 |
[11:10] | Don’t even hesitate, don’t even worry, and don’t even… | 别再犹豫 别再担心 也别再 |
[11:13] | All right, I’m bored. Change it. | 好了 我觉得好无聊 换台吧 |
[11:14] | Wait, wait, Rick. | 等等 Rick |
[11:15] | Hold on. Hold on. | 等一下 等一下 |
[11:15] | …Give it a second thought. | …再多想 |
[11:16] | That’s our slogan. | 这是我们的口号 |
[11:17] | See it on the bottom of the screen below our name. | 请看屏幕底部我们的名字下方 |
[11:19] | Here’s another slogan right below that one. | 那下面是另一个口号 |
[11:22] | What are you worried about? | 你还在担心什么 |
[11:23] | Come get fake doors. | 快来买假门吧 |
[11:24] | Get in here quick, get out quicker with an arm of fake doors in your arms. | 进来快 怀抱着假门出去更快 |
[11:28] | Okay, okay, you can change it. | 好吧 好吧 你可以换台了 |
[11:29] | Don’t even worry about it. | 别担心了 |
[11:31] | I hate Mamumanums-days, | 我讨厌玛姆玛纳姆天 |
[11:34] | and I really could go for some enchiladas. | 我要去吃肉馅玉米卷饼了 |
[11:37] | Hey, Rick, that’s pretty cool. | 嘿 Rick 这不错啊 |
[11:38] | It’s just like Garfield, only instead it’s Gazorpazorpfield. | 它好像加菲猫 只不过这是格索尔菲猫 |
[11:41] | Hey, isn’t Gazorpazorp where, where those sex robots came from? | 嘿 格索尔帕索普 那性爱机器人不就是那儿的吗 |
[11:44] | Remember that whole thing? | 还记得那件事吗 |
[11:46] | Yeah. Hey, that’s a pretty, pretty… that’s ture. That’s right. | 没错 嘿 那真是 真是 你说的对 没错 |
[11:49] | Yeah. Let’s watch some more Gazorpazorpfield. | 对吧 我们接着看格索尔菲猫吧 |
[11:52] | Hey, John. It’s me, Gazorpazorpfield. | 嘿 John 是我 格索尔菲猫 |
[11:54] | Boy! [Bleep] you, John, you [Bleep] dumb, stupid idiot. | 哇塞 你[哔] John 你[哔]蠢货 白痴 |
[11:59] | Come on, Gazorpazorpfield. | 别这样 格索尔菲猫 |
[12:00] | Go easy on me, huh? | 对我友善一点好不好 |
[12:01] | You dumb, stupid, weak, pathetic, white, white, | 你这个呆子 蠢货 不中用的 可怜的 白种的 白种的 |
[12:07] | uh… guilt, white guilt. | 呃 负罪感 白人负疚感 |
[12:11] | Milk-toast piece of human garbage. | 一坨软弱的人类垃圾 |
[12:14] | Geez, Gazorpazorpfield, that’s, you know, | 天哪 格索尔菲猫 这太 你懂的 |
[12:16] | you’re pretty mean to me, but that takes the cake. | 你平时我就挺刻薄的 但都没这个刻薄 |
[12:18] | I don’t give a [Bleep]. | 我[哔]才不管 |
[12:20] | I’m Gazorpazorp[Bleep]filed, bitch. | 我[哔]是格索尔菲猫 贱人 |
[12:22] | Now give me [Bleep] enchiladas. | 快[哔]把肉馅玉米卷饼给我 |
[12:25] | Hey, Rick, you know, did they use Bill Murray for this? | 嘿 Rick 他们找了Bill Murray给这个配音吗 |
[12:27] | Sounds a lot like Bill Murray. | 听起来好像Bill Murray啊 |
[12:28] | No, Morty, it’s Lorenzo Music. | 不 Morty 这是Lorenzo Music |
[12:30] | In this reality, he’s still alive. | 在那个世界里他还活着 |
[12:32] | Oh, okay. Was his name “Lorenzo Music”? | 好吧 他是叫”Lorenzo Music”吗 |
[12:34] | Yeah, I’m pretty sure. | 没错 我很确定 |
[12:35] | He also did the voice of that one guy from “Ghostbusters”, | 他也给”捉鬼敢死队”里那人配过音 |
[12:37] | which is really strange | 挺奇怪的 |
[12:38] | because it’s the same character Bill Murray played in the movie. | 因为Bill Murray在电影里扮演的就是那个角色 |
[12:40] | But then, when they made the movie, | 后来他们给加菲猫拍电影的时候 |
[12:42] | Bill Murray did the voice of Gazorpazorp- or Garfield, I mean. | Bill Murray又给格索尔菲猫 我是说加菲猫 配的音 |
[12:45] | Yeah, that’s pretty cool, Rick. | 真有意思 Rick |
[12:46] | So all that happened in this reality, too? | 那这些事也有在那个平行世界里发生吗 |
[12:48] | I don’t know. | 我哪知道 |
[12:48] | Just making conversation with you, Morty. | 只是和你闲聊而已 Morty |
[12:51] | What, you think I’m a- I’m- I know everything about everything? | 怎么 你觉得我我我什么都知道吗 |
[12:54] | Did you really talk me out of the abortion? | 你真的说服了我放弃堕胎吗 |
[12:57] | Well, we- we blew a tire on the way to the clinic. | 我们 我们在去诊所的路上轮胎爆了 |
[12:59] | I think, in my head, | 我以为 在我的脑海里 |
[13:01] | I was doing it all for the kids. | 我的坚持都是为了孩子 |
[13:03] | And now the first kid is going to do something with turquoise. | 而现在大女儿却要去捣腾绿松石了 |
[13:07] | Which is either code for crystal meth or a gateway to it. | 那不是冰毒的代号就是啥搞冰毒的办法 |
[13:10] | So we didn’t do the kids any favors. | 所以我们根本没为孩子做什么 |
[13:12] | So we should stay together for each other and ourselves or… | 所以我们还在一起是为了对方 不然 |
[13:17] | Or… | 不然 |
[13:21] | Man, woman, and now trunkman? | 男人 女人 现在又来了象鼻人 |
[13:23] | We know science has created men that have a trunk | 我们知道科学已经创造出了有象鼻的人 |
[13:26] | that allows them to have sex with both male and female parteners. | 使他们和男性与女性伴侣都可以发生性行为 |
[13:29] | But we don’t like the idea of these people getting married. | 但我们不希望这些人结婚 |
[13:32] | Put a line in the sand, everybody. | 坚持底线吧 各位 |
[13:33] | Vote “no” on proposition XW2 | 为XW2提案投上反对的一票 |
[13:36] | The act that says trunkpeople can get married. | 就是提出象鼻人可以结婚的那个 |
[13:39] | Who needs it? | 谁需要呢 |
[13:40] | Not on my watch. | 反正我不需要 |
[13:41] | Paid for by Michael Denny and the Denny Singers. | 由Michael Denny及Denny合唱团赞助播出 |
[13:45] | Hi. | 大家好 |
[13:46] | I’m a trunkperson and I want, | 我是一个象鼻人 我想要 |
[13:48] | I feel love in my heart, too, just like you. | 我也像你们一样能感受到内心的爱 |
[13:50] | I want to be able to express that love with both a man and a woman. | 我希望能同时向一个男人和一个女人表达这份爱 |
[13:54] | And I won’t be able to, if Denny and the Denny Singers get their way. | 但如果Denny和Denny合唱团得逞的话 我就没法这样了 |
[13:58] | Hey, let the trunkpeople have sex and get married, huh? | 嘿 就让象鼻人做爱结婚吧 听到没 |
[14:00] | Paid for by turnkpeople. | 由象鼻人赞助播出 |
[14:02] | Oh, I love me strawberry sniggles. | 哦 人家爱死草莓小片片了 |
[14:05] | Ohh, I hope nobody ever gets my hands on me | 哦 我希望没人会对我下手 |
[14:08] | and tries to steal my strawberry smiggles. | 然后偷走我的草莓小豆豆 |
[14:11] | I’m gonna eat every last one of them, because | 我要把它们都吃得干干净净 因为 |
[14:13] | and then they’ll be in my stomach, | 这样它们就都在我肚子里了 |
[14:14] | and nobody will ever be able to eat them. | 谁也别想吃它们 |
[14:16] | Except for me, because they’re gonna be all inside my stomach. | 除了我自己 因为它们都要被我吃进肚子里啦 |
[14:19] | Um, my name is Mr. Tophat Jones, | 我的名字是大礼帽琼斯先生 |
[14:23] | and God forbid any one ever take my sner- little-people snibbles. | 任何人拿走我的小颗粒粒都是天理不容 |
[14:27] | I’m keeping them all for me. | 我都要留着自己吃 |
[14:30] | Last bite. | 最后一口 |
[14:32] | Oh now they’re all resting comfortably in my stomach. | 现在它们都舒舒服服地待在我的肚子里啦 |
[14:34] | Ooh, am I feeling good. | 哦 感觉真是太棒了 |
[14:36] | No! Get away from me! | 不 走开 |
[14:37] | Get away from me! | 离我远点 |
[14:38] | There’s no more strawberry snibbles, no! | 已经没有草莓小粒粒了 不 |
[14:41] | Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! | 上帝啊 上帝啊 |
[14:44] | It hurts! | 好痛啊 |
[14:45] | My entrails are out! | 我的内脏都露出来了 |
[14:46] | Why would you even want to eat these? | 都这样了你们为啥还想吃 |
[14:48] | They’re soaked with my stomach acid. | 都泡在我的胃酸里了 |
[14:50] | Oh, Jesus Christ, Lord, Savior, | 哦 上帝 主啊 救世主 |
[14:53] | and Spirit, save me. | 圣灵啊 救救我吧 |
[14:55] | Take me to the light. | 带我走向光明吧 |
[14:57] | Oh, my god. I see demons. | 哦上帝 我看到恶魔了 |
[14:59] | I see demons are coming! | 我看到恶魔向我走来 |
[15:00] | Geez, Rick. | 天哪 Rick |
[15:01] | Oh my god. | 哦上帝 |
[15:02] | That’s some pretty hard-core stuff, you know, for a cereal commercial. | 就麦片广告而言 这也太狠了 |
[15:05] | Well, you know, Morty. | Morty你懂的 |
[15:06] | I mean, you want to sell boxes of cereal, | 想要卖盒装麦片 |
[15:08] | you got to pump the gas a little. | 你就得加点油 |
[15:10] | Pedal to the metal, Morty. | 把油门踩到底 Morty |
[15:11] | In the world where muscular mannies are coming, | 在肌肉男保姆强势无比的世界 |
[15:15] | and they’re coming strong. | 他们来势汹汹 |
[15:17] | there’s only three unmuscular Michaels. | 只剩下三个没肌肉的Michaels |
[15:20] | Get down, hurry, run. | 趴下 快点 跑 |
[15:24] | And that’s when real turbulent juice is coming, | 这时候威猛液来了 |
[15:30] | and you got to take care of it. | 你可得小心了 |
[15:31] | With turbulent juice, turbulent tables, | 有了威猛液 餐桌变威猛 |
[15:34] | no room is safe from the | 没有房间能逃过 |
[15:36] | turbulent power of turbulent juice | 威猛液的威猛之力 |
[15:40] | What in the hell? | 这什么鬼东西 |
[15:41] | Sex sells, Morty. | 色情营销 Morty |
[15:42] | Sex sells what? | 营销啥 |
[15:43] | Was that a movie or, like, does clear stuff? | 是一部电影吗 还是啥清洁剂 |
[15:46] | – Hey dad. – God | – 老爸 – 天哪 |
[15:48] | What’s going on? | 怎么了 |
[15:49] | Well, your mother and I are gonna be | 我和你老妈要 |
[15:50] | spending some time apart, Morty. | 分开一段时间了 Morty |
[15:52] | And your sister found out | 然后你姐姐发现 |
[15:53] | she was an unwanted pregnancy. | 她是意外怀孕的结果 |
[15:54] | What? | 什么 |
[15:55] | speaking of what Morty, | 说到这个 Morty |
[15:57] | what should we watch next? | 我们要不要继续看 |
[16:00] | What about this? | 这个怎么样 |
[16:02] | Babylegs, you’re a good detective. | 婴儿腿 你是个很好的警探 |
[16:04] | But not good enough, because of your baby legs. | 但还不够好 因为你的婴儿腿 |
[16:07] | So I’m partnering you up with regular legs. | 所以我给你找了个正常腿的搭档 |
[16:09] | Hey, there. | 幸会 |
[16:10] | Detective, I’m, this is upsetting to me, | 警探 我 这让我很难过 |
[16:12] | Because I feel I don’t need no regular-leg partner. | 因为 我觉得我不需要正常腿的搭档 |
[16:15] | Babylegs, don’t talk back to me. good luck, you two. | 婴儿腿 别再反驳我了 祝你们两个好运 |
[16:18] | There’s a criminal to kill. | 还有罪犯等你们消灭呢 |
[16:20] | Wow, you sure found this guy guick. | 哇哦 你这么快就找到这家伙了 |
[16:22] | Uh, yeah, because I’m a good detective. | 呃 是啊 因为我是个好警探 |
[16:25] | Look, babylegs, it’s the criminal. | 看 婴儿腿 是那个罪犯 |
[16:26] | Oh [bleep] I’m the killer. I’m running. | 我[哔] 我是凶手 我要逃跑 |
[16:28] | I’m running real quick. | 我跑得很快 |
[16:29] | Babylegs, here we go! | 婴儿腿 我们上 |
[16:33] | That’s the sound I make when I’m trying to run fast. | 我想跑快点的时候就会发出这声音 |
[16:38] | All right, I’m not gonna get him on. | 好吧 我抓不到他了 |
[16:39] | I just learned a real valuable lesson. | 我刚学到了宝贵的一课 |
[16:41] | I’m coming, babylegs. | 我上了 婴儿腿 |
[16:43] | I’m… regular legs. | 我是 正常腿 |
[16:46] | we got him. | 抓住他了 |
[16:47] | Hey, that was good teamwork. | 真是精彩的合作 |
[16:48] | Babylegs and regular legs. | 婴儿腿和正常腿 |
[16:50] | I’m proud of you two for working together. | 我对你们的合作感到很骄傲 |
[16:52] | And, babylegs, I know it was hard for you to come | 而且 婴儿腿 我知道你很不情愿 |
[16:54] | to the conclusion that you need a partner, | 承认你需要一个搭档 |
[16:56] | But I’m proud of you that you did it. | 但很高兴你克服了这个心理障碍 |
[16:58] | Hey, thanks, chief. | 谢谢 警长 |
[16:59] | Now get the [bleep] out of here. | 快[哔]出去吧 |
[17:00] | Pretty cool. huh. Morty? Oh. | 挺酷的对不对 Morty 噢 |
[17:02] | I thought it was cool. | 我觉得是很酷 |
[17:04] | I don’t give a [bleep] what you think Jerry. | 我[哔]才不管你怎么想呢 Jerry |
[17:10] | Hey, uh, Y-you doing okay? | 嗨 呃 你还好吗 |
[17:14] | I kind of know how you feel, Summer. | 我挺能体会你的感受的 Summer |
[17:16] | No, you don’t. | 不 你不懂 |
[17:17] | You are the little brother. | 你是小弟弟 |
[17:18] | You are not the cause of your parents misery. | 你不是父母苦痛的病因 |
[17:19] | You’re just a symptom of it. | 你只是个症状 |
[17:22] | Can I show you something? | 我能给你看个东西吗 |
[17:23] | Morty, no offense, but a drawing of me you made | Morty 我没恶意 但是你8岁时候 |
[17:25] | when you were 8 isn’t gonna make me | 画的我的画像不会减轻我 |
[17:26] | feel like less of an accident. | 是个意外事故的想法 |
[17:28] | That out there? that’s my grave. | 看 那边 那是我的坟墓 |
[17:31] | Wait, what? | 等等 什么 |
[17:32] | On one of our adventures, Rick and I basically | 在一次冒险中 Rick和我 |
[17:35] | destroyed the whole world, so we bailed on that reality, | 摧毁了整个地球 所以我们丢下了那个世界 |
[17:38] | and we came to this one. | 然后来到了这个世界 |
[17:39] | Because in this one, the world wasn’t destoryed. | 因为在这个世界 地球没被毁掉 |
[17:42] | And in this one, we were dead. | 而且在这个世界里 我们死掉了 |
[17:44] | So we came here and, and we buried ourselves, | 所以我们过来 然后埋掉了自己 |
[17:46] | and we took their place. | 并且取而代之 |
[17:48] | And every morning Summer, I eat breakfast | 每个早上 Summer 我都是在 |
[17:50] | 20 yards away from my own rotting corpse. | 离我尸体不到20码的地方吃早餐 |
[17:54] | So you’re not my brother? | 所以你不是我弟弟 |
[17:56] | I’m better than your borther. | 我比你弟弟更好 |
[17:57] | I’m a version of your brother you can trust | 我这个版本的弟弟是当我说别走的时候 |
[17:59] | when he says “don’t run.” | 你可以绝对信任我 |
[18:01] | Nobody exists on purpose. | 人的出现是没有目的的 |
[18:02] | Nobody belongs anywhere. | 人也不会属于任何地方 |
[18:04] | Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV. | 每个人都会死去 来看电视吧 |
[18:10] | Mrs. Sullivan always planned to | Sullivan太太一直计划 |
[18:12] | leave everything to her cats. | 把所有遗产都留给她的猫猫 |
[18:15] | But sometimes, plans need a helping paw. | 但计划需要借助一爪之力 |
[18:20] | What are the kitties to do | 这些猫猫要怎么办呢 |
[18:21] | but buckle together and works as a team? | 只有团结在一起成为一个团队 |
[18:24] | Mrs. Sullivan, I, please forgive me for being forward, | Sullivan太太 我 请原谅我的鲁莽 |
[18:27] | but your eyes are so beautiful. | 但你的眼睛真的太美了 |
[18:30] | Wait. this is an actual movie? | 等等 这是真实的电影吗 |
[18:32] | This fall, sparks will fly… | 就在今秋 干柴将遇到烈火 |
[18:36] | Mrs. Sullivan. ohh. | Sullivan太太 喔 |
[18:39] | Between one guy who can’t get a break… | 发生在一个停不下来的男人 |
[18:41] | There’s something about you, Mrs. Sullivan. | 你很特别 Sullivan太太 |
[18:44] | And nine cats who break all the rules. | 和九只突破陈规的猫猫身上 |
[18:48] | “Last Will And Testi-meow: Weekend at Dead Cat Lady’s House II.” | 最后的遗嘱喵 猫太太房里的死亡周末2 |
[18:52] | Well, somebody in hollywood just lost their job. | 好莱坞的某人应该刚丢了工作吧 |
[18:54] | Written and directed by Jerry Smith. | 剧本及导演 Jerry Smith |
[18:57] | I wrote and directed that? | 我创作导演了这玩意? |
[18:58] | what am I, nuts? | 我疯了吗 |
[18:59] | Oh hey Morty. you just missed a preview for your dad’s “cizen kane.” | 嘿 Morty 你刚错过了你老爸杰作的预告片 |
[19:02] | Doesn’t matter. | 没关系 |
[19:03] | Hey, if your mother and I had to split custody, | 嘿 如果妈妈和我分开了 |
[19:06] | Who would you guys chose? | 你们会跟谁 |
[19:07] | Doesn’t matter. | 无所谓 |
[19:09] | Breaking news, award-winning actor Jerry Smith | 插播新闻 获奖演员Jerry Smith |
[19:12] | is leading police on a slow speed pursuit | 正在被警察慢速追赶 |
[19:14] | after suffering an apparent breakdown. | 显然刚经历了某种精神上的崩溃 |
[19:17] | Don’t even think about it. | 想都别想 |
[19:18] | Come on. are you kidding me, Jerry? | 干嘛 你开玩笑吗 Jerry |
[19:20] | It’s just a bunch of dumb tabloid crap. | 这就是个八卦新闻 |
[19:22] | It’s my life, and we’re watching it. | 这是我的生活 我说看就看 |
[19:26] | You did it, Beth. | 你做到了 Beth |
[19:28] | You really nailed it. | 干得漂亮啊 |
[19:30] | You’re a surgeon, a human surgeon. | 你是个外科医生 人类外科医生 |
[19:34] | Yay, you win. | 耶 你赢了 |
[19:37] | Where’s the hell am I going? | 我到底要去哪儿 |
[19:38] | Wh-what are you asking me for, Jerry? | 你 你问我干嘛 Jerry |
[19:41] | I’m sitting here trying to figure out | 我想搞清楚 |
[19:43] | why the cops don’t just take you out. | 为什么警察不直接把你干掉 |
[19:44] | I mean they got a clear shot to your head. | 他们能轻松把你爆头 |
[19:47] | I can’t believe our tax dollars pay for this. | 真不敢相信我们交的税就拿去干这个 |
[19:57] | Jerry Jerry Smith Jerry? Jerry Smith? | |
[20:01] | Beth Sanchez, I have been in love with you since high school. | Beth Sanchez 我从高中就爱上你了 |
[20:04] | I hate acting. I hate cocaine. | 我讨厌表演 我讨厌可卡因 |
[20:06] | I hate Kristen Stewart. | 我讨厌Kristen Stewart |
[20:07] | I wish you hadn’t gotten that abortion, | 我希望你那次没有流产 |
[20:09] | and I’ve never stopped thinking about what might have been. | 我一直在想我们本该会怎样 |
[20:39] | Hey, “ball fondlers”? huh, “ball fondlers”? | 嘿 看摸蛋人吗 摸蛋人 |
[20:41] | Yeah, I could go for some “ball fondlers.” | 恩 我想看摸蛋人 |
[20:43] | Yeah, “ball fondlers.” | 恩 摸蛋人 |
[21:19] | Ha ha, Hamster in butt world weather | 哈哈 屁屁仓鼠世界的天气预报 |
[21:21] | is done, | 到此结束 |
[21:22] | and now it’s sports time coming up. | 接下来是体育时间 |
[21:23] | Oh, hello, there. | 你好啊 |
[21:24] | good day to you, miss. | 你好 小姐 |
[21:25] | So, the Hamster live inside the rectums of those people? | 仓鼠就住在这些人的直肠里吗 |
[21:28] | Yes, sweetie. That’s where they live. | 是的 亲爱的 就住在那里面 |
[21:30] | Well, how does that work? | 那 这到底什么原理 |
[21:31] | I mean, do the butts look like little apartments inside? | 我是说 屁股里面有公寓吗 |
[21:34] | Yeah, and can they leave the butt and, like, walk around on their own? | 对啊 他们能离开屁股 四处走动吗 |
[21:37] | Look, I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
[21:38] | I’m watching the same thing you guys are. | 我也在跟你们一起看呢 |
[21:40] | Grandpa Rick, if they leave the butt | Rick外公 如果他们离开屁股 |
[21:41] | and the person wanders off, | 然后那个人走掉了 |
[21:43] | how would they find their butt person again? | 他们怎么去找那个人呢 |
[21:45] | I don’t know, Summer. I can’t even hear the TV. | 我不知道 Summer 我都听不见电视声音 |
[21:47] | All right, that’s it. | 好了 行了 |
[21:48] | We’re just gonna go there so you idiots | 我们直接去那里好了 你们这些傻瓜 |
[21:50] | can ask your stupid questions all day. | 就能整天问你们的蠢问题了 |
[21:51] | Ooh, family vacation! | 噢 全家旅行 |