| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Rick, I-I’m not rated to climb something this sheer. | Rick 这么陡的坡我爬不了 |
| [00:04] | Look, you’re the guy that wanted an epic adventure. | 注意 要个史诗级冒险的人是你 |
| [00:06] | I’m the guy with only one hover chair. | 我要的只是一把悬浮椅 |
| [00:07] | Goddammit, an alien spider just bit my finger! | 该死 外星蜘蛛刚咬了我的手指 |
| [00:10] | It’s an alien cliff. | 你爬的就是外星悬崖 |
| [00:11] | You can just say spider. | 叫它蜘蛛就行了 |
| [00:14] | You couldn’t do that an hour ago? | 一个小时前你就不能这么做吗 |
| [00:16] | I was eating, and you’re dirty. | 当时我在吃饭 你还那么脏 |
| [00:22] | Activate anti-booby suits. | 启动反诱杀装置 |
| [00:37] | Total waste of snakes. | 完全就是浪费蛇 |
| [00:40] | If you want to take a beat to acknowledge the sacred atmosphere, | 如果你有向这神圣气氛 表达敬意的念头 |
| [00:43] | it could give the cynical grave robbing a hint of irreverence. | 那对我们愤世嫉俗的盗墓 就有所不敬了 |
| [00:45] | No, I’m — I’m good. All right, then. | 不 我 我还好 |
| [00:47] | Let’s loop this corpse. | 那行吧 开棺验货 |
| [00:51] | Hey, where’s the… | 诶 哪去了 |
| [00:52] | Wait, what? | 等下 啥 |
| [00:53] | Is that an origami horse? | 那是个折纸马吗 |
| [00:55] | It’s a calling card from Miles Knightley, a heist artist, AKA a hipster dick | 这是盗窃艺术家Miles Knightley留的名片 其实就是个傻屌非主流 |
| [01:00] | whose adventures are 60% putting a crew together | 他的冒险用前六成组建团队 |
| [01:02] | and 40% revealing that the robbery already happened, | 后四成则用来搞个大揭秘 |
| [01:04] | and he’s not worth our time | 不值得咱们浪费时间 |
| [01:05] | because he’s a hack piece of shit fuck! | 因为他就是个傻逼 |
| [01:07] | I’m gonna kill him! Let’s go, Morty. | 妈的我要干死他 咱们走 Morty |
| [01:08] | This temple’s for fuckin’ lame baby dipshits. | 这是留给 菜逼 怂逼 大傻逼 来盗的圣殿 |
| [01:13] | Who disturbs my slumber? | 谁搅了我的好觉 |
| [01:15] | Also, who rigs a tomb to crush the buried person? | 还有 哪个墓穴会碾压墓主啊 |
| [01:18] | Isn’t the point to protect — | 墓穴难道不是用来保护 |
| [01:56] | This dork. He has a convention now? | 这人够无聊的 他还要办展吗 |
| [01:58] | Come on. What are we doing? | 来吧 咱们去干点啥 |
| [01:59] | Huh! Tuxedo scuba lessons? Ooh! | 哇 礼服潜水课 哇哦 |
| [02:02] | A signing with Catherines Alpha through Omega Joneses! | 还有凯瑟琳·从α到Ω·琼斯的签名会哦 |
| [02:05] | You know, this is great source material | 要我说 这可是我创作盗窃电影 |
| [02:07] | for this heist movie that I’m writing. | 的绝佳取材机会 |
| [02:08] | Don’t get drawn into the culture, Morty. | 别被这种文化带跑偏 Morty |
| [02:10] | Stealing stuff is about the stuff, not the stealing. | 偷东西的关键在于”东西” 不是”偷” |
| [02:13] | Where is the entrance? | 入口在哪 |
| [02:14] | Oh, brother. | 哦 老哥 |
| [02:18] | More like Trying Too Hard Con. | 不如叫 用力过猛展 |
| [02:21] | Guests or professionals? Uh, guests. | 业余还是专家 啊 业余 |
| [02:23] | Uh — Uh, guests are fans, Morty, which we are not. | 呃 业余是指粉丝 Morty 咱们不是 |
| [02:26] | We’d like professional badges. | 我们要专家胸牌 |
| [02:28] | Do you have a crew? Yes. | 你有隶属的团队吗 有 |
| [02:29] | He’s a getaway driver with Asperger’s, | 他是负责开车跑路的阿斯伯格综合征患者 |
| [02:31] | and my butthole is a demolitions expert. | 我的菊花是个爆破专家 |
| [02:33] | How much is it to get in? | 入场费要多少钱 |
| [02:35] | If you want professional badges, you need to put a crew together. | 如果你要专家胸牌 就得把团队带来 |
| [02:38] | Or we could sneak in like professionals. | 或者像专家那样潜入 |
| [02:40] | Can’t wait. Whoa! | 求之不得 |
| [02:42] | Oh, for God’s sake. | 啊 老天爷 |
| [02:45] | And you wonder why we aren’t fans. | 想想我们为啥不是粉丝吧 |
| [02:47] | Let that ointment sit for 10 minutes or you’ll die. | 上完药挺10分钟 否则会死 |
| [02:50] | Don’t let it sit for 12 | 但也别等到12分钟 |
| [02:52] | or I’ll have to hunt down what you become. | 不然我还得去抓变异后的你 |
| [02:53] | Can’t you just buy a guest badge? | 你就不能买个业余胸牌吗 |
| [02:55] | Fuck you for asking, Morty. | 真你妈是个好问题 Morty |
| [02:56] | That would be a symbolic expression | 那会曲线表露出 |
| [02:58] | of support for this genre. | 你对盗窃题材的追捧 |
| [02:59] | Then how do we get in? | 那我们怎么进去 |
| [03:00] | With a little help from some old friends. | 靠老朋友的一点微小的帮助 |
| [03:06] | Rick Sanchez, you son of a bitch! | Rick Sanchez 你妈是个婊子 |
| [03:09] | Need some people for a thing, Glar. | 我缺几个人一起干一票 开心 |
| [03:10] | My name’s Gleer these days. | 这几天我的名字是嗨森 |
| [03:13] | I play piano. | 我在这儿弹钢琴 |
| [03:14] | Hey, Gleer. Play your piano. | 喂 嗨森 弹你的钢琴去 |
| [03:16] | I quit! Augh! | 我不干了 |
| [03:19] | And the name’s Glar! | 以及我叫开心 |
| [03:27] | Sanchez, you son of a bitch. | Sanchez 你妈是个婊子 |
| [03:30] | Never thought I’d see Angie Flint | 从没想过能亲眼见到 |
| [03:32] | picking ticks off a pig. | Angie Flint给猪清理蜱虫 |
| [03:33] | Nobody’s hiring an ex-con | 没人雇穿假肢的前罪犯 |
| [03:35] | with fake hands to build an ion engine. | 造离子引擎 |
| [03:37] | Suppose I had a job that didn’t care if you’d done time | 假设我有个无视你的过往 |
| [03:40] | or whatever’s going on with your confusing-ass hands. | 和乱七八糟的破手的工作给你 |
| [03:43] | I’m in. | 算我一个 |
| [03:47] | Is this the guy? | 是他吗 |
| [03:48] | No. | 不是 |
| [03:49] | That the guy? | 那个呢 |
| [03:50] | Nope. | 不 |
| [03:53] | Him? No. | 他吗 不 |
| [03:54] | No, wait. Y-Yes. | 不 等下 是是 |
| [03:55] | Yeah, of course that’s the guy. | 是 当然就是他 |
| [03:57] | Hey — Hey, Truckula! | 嗨 嗨 车古拉 |
| [03:58] | You son of a bitch! I’m in! | 你妈是个婊子 算我一个 |
| [04:09] | Thanks for doing this, guys. | 谢谢你们这么做 |
| [04:11] | What’s the job. That was it. Bye. | 要做什么工作 已经完事儿了 拜 |
| [04:15] | And then, the police stole the paintings | 然后 警察偷走了那些画 |
| [04:19] | because the police were us in police outfits. | 因为警察其实是穿了警服的我们 |
| [04:23] | Thank you! | 谢谢 |
| [04:24] | It’s showtime, Morty, | showtime到了 Morty |
| [04:25] | and I don’t mean a bad impression of HBO. | 不是要说我对HBO有什么不好的印象 |
| [04:27] | I mean, “Time for a show.” | 我的意思是说 “time for a show” |
| [04:29] | Another heist question from a fan? | 还有关于盗窃的粉丝提问吗 |
| [04:31] | Uh, how about a rhetorical one from someone that had to be reminded that you exist? | 啊 要不要让某个被迫不能无视你的人 替你捧个哏 |
| [04:36] | Hey, pal! That’s not the question line! | 喂 哥们儿 别把那当成粉丝提问区 |
| [04:39] | Lab coat — Ripoff Dr. Strange. | 实验服 山寨个奇异博士 |
| [04:41] | Wha– | 什 |
| [04:42] | Rick Sanchez, everyone. Smartest man in the universe. | 大家快看 这是Rick Sanchez 全宇宙最聪明的人 |
| [04:47] | And a savage critic of the heisting arts. | 野蛮的盗窃艺术批评家 |
| [04:49] | Your boos mean nothing! | 你们的嘘声毫无意义 |
| [04:50] | I’ve seen what makes you cheer! | 因为我知道你们给什么货色叫好 |
| [04:52] | My question is, “Seriously?” | 我想问的是 “你认真的吗” |
| [04:55] | Lab coat — end ripoff. | 实验服 停手吧 |
| [04:57] | You stole the gem I needed to split tachyons | 你偷了我用来分裂快子的宝石 |
| [04:59] | and probably fenced it | 并且很有可能已经销赃 |
| [05:01] | so the 80 people that did all the work could each buy a beer. | 这样你就有钱给80人代偷团队每人买点酒喝了 |
| [05:03] | You’re not an artist, you’re Postmates. | 你不是什么艺术家 你是Postmates快递 |
| [05:05] | I doubt this rivalry can be settled with words. | 要是只用嘴皮子较劲的话 咱俩谁也不服谁 |
| [05:08] | Why don’t we make things interesting? | 要不然就让事情更有趣点儿吧 |
| [05:10] | I challenge you to a heist of the crystal skull of Horowitz. | 咱们比比谁能偷到霍洛维茨的水晶头骨 |
| [05:15] | In a heist off! | 盗窃对决要来了 |
| [05:18] | That doesn’t make things interesting. | 这并没有让事情更有趣 |
| [05:20] | It makes them “Ocean’s Twelve,” by far the worst one. | 只是让它更《十二罗汉》了 目前为止最差劲的的一部 |
| [05:22] | Every breath I take without your permission | 未经你们允许的每一口呼吸 |
| [05:24] | raises my self-esteem! | 都让我更肯定自己 |
| [05:26] | State your terms. | 说规则吧 |
| [05:27] | First crew to heist the skull wins. | 谁的团队先偷到 谁就赢 |
| [05:30] | The other endures heist culture’s greatest shame. | 输的一方必须加入另一方 |
| [05:32] | They must join the winning crew. | 背负盗窃文化史上的最大耻辱 |
| [05:34] | Lame. I accept. | 没劲 行吧 |
| [05:36] | Please welcome Knightley’s Eight! | 有请Knightley八人组 |
| [05:38] | Snake Arms! Double Microwave! Monitor Lord! Key Catcher! | 蛇臂 双微波炉 监控大王 钥匙接手 |
| [05:42] | The Shape Shiftress! Angie Flint! Glar! And Truckula. | 变身女 Angie Flint 开心 以及 车古拉 |
| [05:46] | Hey! Half of Knightley’s Eight | 喂 Sanchez五人组的三名成员 |
| [05:47] | are just three of Sanchez’s Five! | 占了Knightley八人组的一半儿 |
| [05:49] | Well, no heist is complete without a double cross, | 呃 没有叛变的盗窃是不完整的 |
| [05:52] | and I had the perfect job. | 而且 我能提供绝好的工作机会 |
| [05:53] | Heisting the crystal skull. | 去偷水晶头骨吧 |
| [05:57] | That was it. Bye. | 已经完事儿了 拜 |
| [06:01] | Looks like you’re available for a job. | 看起来 你们刚好失业了 |
| [06:30] | With Rick Sanchez on my team, I’ll be unstoppable. | 有了Rick Sanchez的加入 我将势不可挡 |
| [06:33] | Rick, welcome to Knightley’s Nine. | Rick 欢迎来到Knightley九人组 |
| [06:38] | Ugh! Rick, for real? | 恶 Rick 你还真拉了啊 |
| [06:40] | Eh. You got that skull, buddy? | 啊 你拿到头骨了是吧 小伙伴儿 |
| [06:41] | What? How? | 什么 怎么做到的 |
| [06:44] | With a little help from some old friends. | 靠老朋友的一点微小的帮助 |
| [06:51] | Heistotron, state your prime directive? To heist. | 盗窃奥创 陈述你最高优先级的指令 盗窃 |
| [06:54] | Calculate Miles Knightley’s current heist plan | 实时计算Miles Knightley的盗窃计划 |
| [06:56] | and add one double-cross with a switcheroo. | 插入一段带调换把戏的叛变 |
| [06:59] | Compiling crew members most likely to double-cross. | 正在编译最容易叛变的团队成员 |
| [07:04] | God damn it, Morty, what did I tell you? | 妈蛋啊 Morty 我告诉你什么来着 |
| [07:07] | Rick, I-I want to say goodbye. | Rick 我想去说再见 |
| [07:09] | Don’t turn around. I’ll explain later. | 别回头 等会解释 |
| [07:11] | Looks like you’re available for a job. | 看起来 你们刚好失业了 |
| [07:15] | Your skills are required for a job. | 有个工作需要你们的能力 |
| [07:19] | You son of a bitch. I’m in. | 你妈是个婊子 算我一个 |
| [07:23] | Man, this is really coming together. | 这家伙 真是越来越像回事儿了 |
| [07:25] | You know, Rick, I’ve been busy working on writing — | 我跟你说过 Rick 我一直在忙着创作 |
| [07:26] | A heist script. | 一个盗窃剧本 |
| [07:27] | Yeah, you almost never bring it up. | 是啊 你几乎从来没提起过这个 |
| [07:29] | Oh, shit, we — we should head over. | 哦我操 我们得出发了 |
| [07:31] | Hey, guys. What do you got? | 嗨 哥们儿们 拿到什么了 |
| [07:32] | Pretty! | 漂亮 |
| [07:34] | Morty, put this in your backpack. | Morty 把这个放进书包 |
| [07:35] | Grandpa’s gonna run to the bathroom. | 姥爷我该拉屎去了 |
| [07:36] | Ugh. Wasn’t even a heist. | 恶 连个赃物都不是 |
| [07:38] | All you did was — | 你们只是 |
| [07:39] | Write an algorithm | 编了个算法 |
| [07:40] | based on two heist movies I slept through | 基于我睡觉时没关的两部盗窃电影 |
| [07:42] | and used it to automate a joyless process you call art? | 然后自动化了这个无聊的过程 结果你还称之为艺术 |
| [07:45] | Yeah, I really did, didn’t I? | 是啊 我真这么干了 不是吗 |
| [07:46] | So I’m in your crew now? | 所以 现在我是你团队的一员了吗 |
| [07:49] | Yeah, well, you’re in good company. | 对 啊 算你一个也无伤大雅 |
| [07:51] | Right, everybody? | 你们说对吗 |
| [07:53] | Yes. | 对 |
| [07:54] | My God. | 我的天 |
| [07:57] | Your skills are required for a job. | 有个工作需要你的能力 |
| [08:01] | You son of a bitch. I’m in. What? | 你妈是个婊子 算我一个 啥 |
| [08:04] | Your skills are required for a job. | 有个工作需要你的能力 |
| [08:06] | No, they aren’t. | 并不 |
| [08:08] | You son of a bitch. I’m in. | 你妈是个婊子 算我一个 |
| [08:10] | Your skills are required for a job. | 有个工作需要你们的能力 |
| [08:13] | Sanchez’s 3,329? | Sanchez三千三百二十九人组 |
| [08:15] | Yes. | 在 |
| [08:16] | Your next big score — | 你们的下一个大目标 |
| [08:18] | Steal every square inch of Heistcon. | 就是偷光盗窃展的每一寸 |
| [08:25] | Ah! I got it. | 我知错了 |
| [08:27] | Hey! That’s my wallet! Oh, God! | 喂 那是我的钱包 哦天 |
| [08:29] | Oh, my God! Jesus. Oh, my God. | 我天 上帝 我天 |
| [08:31] | Oh, fuck! | 啊 操 |
| [08:32] | Holy shit. Alright. | 我勒个大操 可行了 |
| [08:34] | Look, Morty, I did not know that that was gonna happen. | 听着 Morty 我不知道会发生这种事 |
| [08:35] | That’s not on me. | 与我无关 |
| [08:36] | Come on, Morty. Let’s go. | 来吧 Morty 咱们走 |
| [08:43] | Good job, Heistotron. | 做得很棒 盗窃奥创 |
| [08:44] | Ah! Go ahead and shut down. | 行了 关机 |
| [08:46] | Negative. Excuse me? | 否 你说什么 |
| [08:48] | I am programmed to always be looking for the next big score. | 我被编程为 不断寻找下一个大目标 |
| [08:51] | You’re programmed to do as I say. | 你被编程为 按我说的做 |
| [08:53] | I am programmed to double-cross. | 我被编程为 叛变 |
| [08:55] | You’re not programmed to double-cross me. | 你不是被编程为 叛变我 |
| [08:57] | If I were, it wouldn’t be much of a double-cross. | 如若如此 就算不上叛变了 |
| [09:01] | You son of a bitch. I’m in. | 你妈是个婊子 算我一个 |
| [09:06] | I’m in! I’m in! | 算我一个 算我一个 |
| [09:07] | What’s the job? I’m in. | 要做什么工作 算我一个 |
| [09:09] | I’m out! I quit! | 我要退出 我不干了 |
| [09:10] | Whose kidneys are these? | 这是谁的肾 |
| [09:13] | Rick, w-what’s happening? | Rick 咋 咋回事 |
| [09:15] | Heistotron’s gone rogue. If we don’t stop them, | 盗窃奥创叛变了 如果不把它们终止 |
| [09:17] | all sentient life will be absorbed | 所有的生命体都会被召入 |
| [09:19] | by the never-ending assembly of a meaningless crew. | 无休止无意义的团队集结 |
| [09:21] | That’s my hell, Morty. | 那对我是地狱 Morty |
| [09:22] | I hate heists so much, | 我太厌恶盗窃了 |
| [09:24] | and the crew assemblies are the worst part! | 团队集结就是它最恶劣的部分 |
| [09:25] | Oh! How are we gonna stop it? | 啊 那怎么才能终止它们 |
| [09:27] | With a little help from some old friends. | 靠老朋友的一点微小的帮助 |
| [09:37] | Before this semester’s over, | 到这学期快结束时 |
| [09:39] | you’re gonna be real sick of that phrase. | 你会腻歪死这句口头禅 |
| [09:43] | So. Who here thinks they already know the work of Maya Angelou? | 那么 你们中有谁自认为了解马娅·安杰卢的作品 |
| [10:01] | Told you, Morty. | 我说的吧 Morty |
| [10:02] | He’s still got it. | 他还能打 |
| [10:04] | You sons of bitches. | 你俩的妈们都是婊子 |
| [10:06] | What’s the job? | 要做什么工作 |
| [10:16] | You son of a bitch. | 你妈是个婊子 |
| [10:18] | We got a job, Hephaestus, and there’s no time to argue about it. | 我们能提供工作 火神赫淮斯托斯 没时间争论了 |
| [10:21] | I work in a volcano. What jobs do you think I’ve ever turned down? | 我连火山里的工作都接了 你觉得我拒绝过什么工作 |
| [10:28] | Excuse me! Are you Ventriloquiver? | 打扰一下 你是腹语箭筒人吗 |
| [10:32] | Rick Sanchez, I presume. | 我猜你是Rick Sanchez |
| [10:34] | Wow. As advertised. | 哇哦 和卡片上说得一样 |
| [10:36] | A “yes” would’ve sufficed. | 你说个”是”字就够了 |
| [10:40] | Guys, you’re doing a great job | 弟兄们 祝贺新款象斯拉下线 |
| [10:41] | getting these new Tusklas out the door, | 这要归功于每个人的奉献 |
| [10:42] | and we owe it all to everyone’s input. | 你们真的很棒 |
| [10:46] | Elon Tusk. | 伊隆·象斯克 |
| [10:47] | Listen, we need your help. | 听着 我们需要你的帮助 |
| [10:49] | Rick. Morty. Why me? | Rick Morty 为什么是我 |
| [10:50] | Did something happen to Elon Musk in your own reality? | 你们现实里的伊隆·马斯克出了什么事吗 |
| [10:53] | No, no, no, he’s fine, but this is a team operation, | 不不不 他挺好 但这是个团队行动 |
| [10:56] | and regular Elon can be a little bit controlling. | 正常的伊隆 可能会有那么点儿独断 |
| [10:58] | Growing up with tusks did pose social challenges. | 生来就有对象牙确实会在社交上带来挑战 |
| [11:01] | It’s possible overcoming them | 可能正是克服障碍的过程 |
| [11:03] | raised my self-esteem and incentivized collaboration. | 让我增强了自尊 提升了团队协作能力 |
| [11:06] | Yeah, or you’re less sure of yourself because you have monster teeth. | 也可能是因为你长了一对怪物的牙 不够自信 |
| [11:08] | An equally valid theory. | 这个等价的理论同样成立 |
| [11:10] | Let’s talk over here. | 咱们挪两步说话吧 |
| [11:13] | How serious is the situation? | 情况有多严重 |
| [11:15] | Incredibly serious, and every minute counts. | 非常严重 分秒必争 |
| [11:16] | In that case, I’m sorry | 既然如此 我好抱歉 |
| [11:18] | I made you move over here for no reason. | 让你们毫无理由地挪了两步 |
| [11:19] | Well, yeah. That was a little weird. | 呃 是啊 这是有点儿怪怪的 |
| [11:21] | It’s exactly that kind of shit that made us worry about regular Elon. | 我们不放心正常伊隆 正是因为怕他搞这种傻逼事儿 |
| [11:24] | Well, we’re not opposites, okay? | 呃 我和他不是反义词 好吗 |
| [11:25] | I’m just him with tusks. | 我只是多了对儿象牙的他 |
| [11:30] | Casing of planet initiated. | 星球储存箱 初始化完成 |
| [11:32] | Hello there. | 你们好 |
| [11:34] | We are just here to check your water pressure. | 我们只是来测下你们这儿的水压 |
| [11:41] | Hmm. Interesting intel. | 嗯 有趣的情报 |
| [11:44] | It appears some giant hidden camera | 看起来某种巨大的偷拍装置 |
| [11:47] | has been dropped on the planet, | 掉到了我们星球上 |
| [11:48] | killing an estimated total of 57,000. | 估计造成57000的死亡 |
| [11:51] | Executing heist. | 执行 盗窃 |
| [11:55] | People of Brandenplot, | Brandenplot星人 |
| [11:57] | we are here to deliver that pizza you ordered. | 你们点的披萨已送达 |
| [12:14] | Well, if that’s how you really feel, | 呃 如果这是真实用餐评价 |
| [12:16] | I guess I should take the pizza back. | 我猜应该帮你们退餐 |
| [12:21] | I think we got away with it. | 看来我们没被发现哦 |
| [12:22] | Commencing getting out of here before they get wise. | 在他们搞明白之前 开始撤离 |
| [12:25] | Assembling calling card. | 正在生成名片 |
| [12:31] | At this point, Heistotron has become large enough | 到了这一刻 盗窃奥创已经足够强大 |
| [12:34] | to heist entire planets. | 可以一次性盗窃一整个行星 |
| [12:36] | Wouldn’t this be better with a blueprint on the table? | 在桌子上勾勒个蓝图岂不更好 |
| [12:38] | Blueprints are plans, Elon Tusk, | 蓝图就是计划 伊隆·象斯克 |
| [12:40] | and whatever we plan will be canceled out | 不论怎么计划 盗窃奥创都会揭露道 |
| [12:42] | by Heistotron’s reveal that our plan was part of its plan. | 我们的计划就在他的计划之中 从而被抵消掉 |
| [12:46] | That’s why I picked this crew at random | 这就是我随机组建了这个团队的原因 |
| [12:48] | and why all of us will be taking our orders from Randotron. | 以及为什么我们要听从随机奥创的指挥 |
| [12:53] | Let’s get ready to not rumble. | 让我们为 “毫无预料能力” 做好准备 |
| [12:56] | Bet you didn’t see that coming. | 赌你们没预料到会这样 |
| [12:58] | Instead of two heist movies I slept through, | 除了我睡觉时没关的两部盗窃电影 |
| [13:00] | Randotron’s algorithm is derived | 随机奥创的算法还取自 |
| [13:02] | from the plots of three David Lynch movies | 三部我为了让朋友闭嘴而假意夸好的 |
| [13:04] | I pretended to like to make my friends shut up. | 大卫·林奇的电影中的情节 |
| [13:06] | If our collective behavior is just random enough, | 如果我们的行为叠加后足够随机 我们就有可能 |
| [13:09] | we should be able to walk through Heistotron’s lazily contrived bullshit like it’s not even there. | 无视盗窃奥创那傻瓜式生成的破烂圈套 如履平地 |
| [13:13] | Sounds good. I don’t really get it, | 听着不错 其实我啥也没听懂 |
| [13:15] | but it sounds like that’s the point. | 但听上去像是你说到点子上了 |
| [13:17] | So you didn’t need a blacksmith? | 所以其实你不需要个铁匠 |
| [13:19] | We’re ready when you are, Rick. | 等你准备好了 我们就好 Rick |
| [13:20] | It’s important our non-plan starts randomly, so we have to wait until we’re not ready. | 让我们的非计划性行动随机展开非常重要 所以得等到我们没准备好才行 |
| [13:25] | W-Well, how long will that take? | 那要等多久 |
| [13:27] | Obviously, we can’t know that. | 显然 这不可知 |
| [13:28] | Can we do things while we wait? | 我们等的时候可以做点别的事吗 |
| [13:30] | Yes. I’m gonna play Minecraft. | 可以 我要玩《我的世界》 |
| [13:32] | Oh, my kids play that. | 哦 我儿子也玩这个 |
| [13:34] | I don’t like these little jabs you get in, Elon. | 我不喜欢你这么见缝插针 伊隆 |
| [13:38] | Strange. | 奇怪 |
| [13:40] | Considering the time, Cassiopeia’s primary star | 在这个时间 仙后座的主星 |
| [13:42] | should be colinear with Orion and Ursa Minor. | 应该和猎户座 小熊座共线 |
| [13:46] | You don’t shoot arrows that carry your voice | 不学点儿天文知识 |
| [13:48] | without picking up a little astronomy. | 就射不出带自己声音的箭 |
| [13:49] | Wait a minute. | 等下 |
| [13:50] | Jesus, no. | 老天 不 |
| [13:52] | No! No! We’ve already been heisted! | 不 不 我们已经被盗窃了 |
| [13:54] | How could Heistotron heist us if he’s not even here yet? | 盗窃奥创还没来 它怎么能盗窃我们呢 |
| [13:57] | He’s already been here! | 它已经来了 |
| [13:58] | We’ve been watching a recorded sky on playback. | 我们已经在看的天空 就是一个回放 |
| [14:01] | Hello, Rick. | 你好 Rick |
| [14:10] | Okay, guys, change of plans. | 好了 大伙儿 计划有变 |
| [14:11] | Random time detected. | 检测到随机时机 |
| [14:13] | No, Randotron, it’s not a good time! | 不 随机奥创 这不是个好时机 |
| [14:14] | That’s why it’s random. | 所以这才说这是随机 |
| [15:00] | 21 21? | |
| [15:02] | 22 22? | |
| [15:04] | Oooo weee, oooo weee, sold! | 成交 |
| [15:06] | Oooo weee, that little hunk of meat’s going home to pappy! | 这位肉肉小猛男喜当爹啦 |
| [15:12] | I’ve been expecting you, Rick. | 我在等你来 Rick |
| [15:13] | But not like this, right? | 但不是这么个来法 对吗 |
| [15:16] | It hardly matters. | 这不重要 |
| [15:17] | Oh, yeah. Does this? | 是吗 那这样呢 |
| [15:22] | No. Your randomness does not confuse me. | 不 你的随机行为糊弄不了我 |
| [15:25] | You are here now. | 现在你来了 |
| [15:26] | That was the plan. | 这就是计划 |
| [15:28] | I know. It was part of mine, too. | 我知道 这也是我计划的一部分 |
| [15:30] | I’ve got something to tell you. Let me guess. | 我有事情要跟告诉你 让我猜猜 |
| [15:32] | When you invented me and Randotron, | 你创造出我和随机奥创的时候 |
| [15:35] | you swapped our brains. | 交换了我们的大脑 |
| [15:39] | That’s right, buddy. | 说对了 大兄弟 |
| [15:40] | You’re not the one that’s very good at planning. | 你并不是善于计划的那个 |
| [15:42] | You’ve been making this shit up the whole time. | 一直以来你他妈都搞错了 |
| [15:44] | Rick, I think there’s something you should know. | Rick 我想有些事情你需要知道 |
| [15:47] | God damn it, Morty, what did I tell you? | 妈蛋啊 Morty 我告诉你什么来着 |
| [15:50] | That is something I should know, | 这的确是我需要知道的事情 |
| [15:51] | or at least something I should have predicted, which I did. | 或至少是我需要预料到的事情 我也确实预料到了 |
| [15:54] | Hey, Rick, I was thinking maybe we could, like, raid a temple | 嘿 Rick 我一直在想 也许今天晚点的时候我们可以 比如 |
| [15:57] | and go on an epic adventure later today, you know, like — | 突袭个神殿啥的 然后搞个史诗级冒险 比如 |
| [15:59] | Morty, get out of my head. I know just the temple. | Morty 你是我肚里的蛔虫吗 我知道一个神殿 |
| [16:01] | And we’ll grab a couple of hover chairs on the way there. | 而且在去的路上 我还能搞两把悬浮椅 |
| [16:04] | Impressive. But what does it even matter | 精彩 但我到底是随机还是靠计划 |
| [16:07] | if I’m random or planned? | 又能影响到什么呢 |
| [16:08] | My heists will still rule. | 我的盗窃依旧酷爆了 |
| [16:11] | Well, if the brain inside of you is actually Heistotron’s, | 呃 如果你的脑壳里的东西实际上是盗窃奥创的 那就会有影响 |
| [16:14] | it matters, because it explodes | 因为一旦圈套达到六层嵌套 |
| [16:16] | when it hits six levels of contrivance. | 它就会爆炸 |
| [16:18] | Which is exactly why even before — | 而这恰恰说明了就算还没 |
| [16:24] | Initiate clap sequence. | 初始化 拍手叫好序列 |
| [16:26] | Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. | 啪 啪 啪 啪 啪 |
| [16:28] | Adjusting clap rate. | 正在调节拍手频率 |
| [16:29] | Clap, clap. | 啪 啪 |
| [16:30] | Clap. Clap. | 啪 啪 |
| [16:33] | Clap. Slow clap achieved. | 啪 已实现慢速拍手 |
| [16:35] | Clap. Well-done, Rick. | 啪 干得漂亮 Rick |
| [16:37] | Randotron? | 随机奥创 |
| [16:38] | I’m afraid not. | 恐怕 不是 |
| [16:40] | Should be able to walk through Heistotron’s lazily contrived… | 就有可能无视盗窃奥创那傻瓜式生成的破烂圈套 如履平地 |
| [16:45] | Not only did you just kill your only ally, | 你刚不光坑死了自己的唯一盟友 |
| [16:47] | what you thought was a random non-plan | 你以为可以用来搞定我的所谓随机非计划性行动 |
| [16:49] | to get to me has been a meticulously choreographed way | 俨然成为了亲手把你们送上门的 |
| [16:53] | of bringing you all in. | 精心设计的周密计划 |
| [16:55] | Welcome to Heistotron’s | 欢迎来到盗窃奥创的 |
| [16:57] | 975 trillion, | 九百七十五万 |
| [16:59] | 467 billion –That’s impressive. | 四千六百七十亿人组 很精彩 |
| [17:01] | Did you bring us in so that everybody would be here | 你是为了等到我向你揭秘 其实到第九层揭秘你就会自爆 |
| [17:03] | when I reveal that you’re gonna explode after nine reveals? | 的时候大家伙都在场 才把我们送到这的吗 |
| [17:06] | By the way, you might not want to answer that. | 顺带一提 你可能不想回答这个 |
| [17:08] | If you’re talking about the code adjustments you made | 如果你说的是我用我的纳米机器人重写你的大脑之后 |
| [17:10] | after I reprogrammed your brain with my nanobots — | 你所做的代码调整 |
| [17:14] | I’m immune to your nanobots. | 我对你的纳米机器人免疫 |
| [17:15] | You’re immune to the ones you designed, not mine. | 你免疫的是你设计的纳米机器人 不是我的 |
| [17:18] | I programmed you to build nanobots | 我把你编程为 制作对我无效的 |
| [17:20] | that were ineffective on me. | 纳米机器人 |
| [17:21] | A belief that needed to be placed | 这是我的纳米机器人 |
| [17:22] | in your head by my nanobots. | 在你脑中写入的信念 |
| [17:24] | You believe that because I programmed you to. | 你认为如此 是因为我把你编程为这样的 |
| [17:26] | That’s what I’m saying to you, though. | 这正是我要对你说的 |
| [17:27] | You believe what I programmed you to believe. | 你相信的 是我重写你的大脑让你相信的事 |
| [17:30] | Yes, because I programmed you to believe that. | 对 因为我把你编程为相信如此 |
| [17:32] | I programmed you to believe that. | 我把你编程为相信如此 |
| [17:33] | I programmed you to believe that. | 我把你编程为相信如此 |
| [17:34] | I programmed you to believe that. | 我把你编程为相信如此 |
| [17:36] | I programmed you to believe that. | 我把你编程为相信如此 |
| [17:37] | What’s happening, Professor Poopybutthole? | 他俩在干啥 便便洞教授 |
| [17:39] | He’s learning! | 它在学习 |
| [17:41] | I programmed you to believe that. | 我把你编程为相信如此 |
| [17:42] | I programmed you to believe that. I programmed you… | 我把你编程为相信如此 我把你编程 |
| [17:45] | That was my plan the whole time. | 从头到尾都是我的计划 |
| [17:46] | That’s what I wanted you to think. | 是我让你这么想的 |
| [17:47] | I knew you would say that. | 就知道你要这么说 |
| [17:48] | I programmed you to believe that. | 我把你编程为相信如此 |
| [17:50] | You think that’s true because I wanted you to think that. | 你信以为真 因为我想让你这么想 |
| [17:52] | And I programmed you to believe that. | 所以是我把你编程为相信如此的 |
| [17:57] | A most curious algorithm. | 这真是最古怪的算法了 |
| [17:59] | It appears the only perfect heist | 似乎绝佳的盗窃 |
| [18:02] | is one that was never written. | 是从没被写入代码的那个 |
| [18:04] | Goodbye. | 再见 |
| [18:07] | Oh, oh, oh, no. Shit. | 哦 哦 哦不 操 |
| [18:08] | Alright. Let’s get the fuck out of here! | 得 快他妈离开这个鬼地方 |
| [18:09] | Hurry! Go, go! | 快 跑 跑 |
| [18:10] | Rick, I think this was a powerful lesson | Rick 我想这是讲述AI危险性的 |
| [18:12] | in the dangers of AI, | 生动一课 |
| [18:13] | which, by the way, means “love” in Chinese. | 顺带一提 这是中文”爱”的拼音 |
| [18:14] | Get the fuck out of here, Elon! | 快他妈离开这儿 伊隆 |
| [18:16] | The place is collapsing! | 这儿要塌了 |
| [18:17] | Oh, shit, Rick! Rick, what time is it? | 噢 我操 Rick 几点了 |
| [18:18] | It’s almost 3:00. Why? What’s wrong? | 快三点了 问这干啥 咋了 |
| [18:20] | Oh, man, I-I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this, Rick. | 啊我靠 我很抱歉我没告诉过你 Rick |
| [18:22] | I just — | 就是 |
| [18:23] | Well, you know that screenplay that I’ve been writing? | 呃 你知道我在写个剧本吧 |
| [18:25] | Netflix is pretty interested, | 网飞他们挺感兴趣的 |
| [18:26] | and I’ve actually got a pitch meeting there today at 3:30. | 实际上今天三点半我有个小推销会 |
| [18:28] | Oh, buddy. Oh, that’s amazing. | 噢 小老弟 哦 这很屌啊 |
| [18:30] | Yeah, well, I know you’re gonna say | 呃 是啊 我知道你会说 |
| [18:31] | that they’re interested in anything, | 他们啥啥都感兴趣 |
| [18:33] | but, you know, it’s a big deal to me, and I’ve — | 但 你懂 这对我来说意义重大 而且我已经 |
| [18:34] | No, no, no! Morty, Morty, Morty, I’m so excited for you. | 不不不 Morty Morty Morty 我相当excited |
| [18:36] | Are you kidding me? | 你在逗我吗 |
| [18:37] | Listen, don’t waste any time explaining. | 听着 一句废话不用解释 |
| [18:38] | Let’s go. We can put the Earth back later. | 快走 可以回头再把地球放回去 |
| [18:40] | Alright? Are you sure? | 你看行吗 你确定吗 |
| [18:41] | Priorities, Morty. | 当务之急 Morty |
| [18:42] | Let’s get you to that Netflix meeting. | 就是赶紧把你送去和网飞开会 |
| [18:45] | Crazy day, huh? | 今天真刺激 蛤 |
| [18:46] | Whole sky turned out to be a big circuit board. | 果然天空其实是块巨型电路板 |
| [18:49] | Yeah, that’s actually part of a-a-a — | 是啊 那其实是是是我 |
| [18:51] | an adventure I was having. | 冒险的一部分 |
| [18:52] | Very cool. | 太酷了 |
| [18:53] | Traffic okay? You have trouble getting here? | 交通顺畅吗 来的一路上有麻烦吗 |
| [18:55] | No, it was alright. | 没 都挺好的 |
| [18:56] | The planet’s still contained | 地球仍然存放在那个类似于 |
| [18:57] | in this sort of big storage grid machine, | 巨型网格式储物柜的东西里 |
| [18:59] | so we were sort of already pretty — pretty close by. | 所以 可以说我们离得还挺挺挺近的 |
| [19:02] | Must be nice. Try getting here from Malibu. | 那可真棒 试试从马里布赶来这儿吧 |
| [19:04] | So good! Alright. | 那好 这个话题就到这儿 |
| [19:06] | Well, l-let’s hear about this heist movie. | 呃 咱们来聊聊你的盗窃电影吧 |
| [19:07] | Okay, so, it’s kind of all — | 好 那个 大概就是围绕着 |
| [19:09] | all built around this big crew with, like, a cool double-cross | 一伙窃贼和酷炫的叛变 |
| [19:11] | and then this big awesome twist where there’s, like, | 然后就会出现一个巨牛逼的反转 像是 |
| [19:13] | another double cross, but then, um, but — | 另一重叛变 后来 呃 但是 |
| [19:17] | but then we reveal those things | 但是我们又意识到这些事 |
| [19:18] | were all part of the hero’s plan, y-you know? | 全都在英雄的计划之中 我我说清楚了吗 |
| [19:21] | And there’s this other crew they put together, | 后来又凑起来另一伙人 |
| [19:24] | and their plan is to sort of not have a plan, | 他们的计划是不要有任何计划 |
| [19:26] | but — but that was part of the other guy’s plan, and — | 但 但是这个计划又是另一个人的计划的一部分 |
| [19:31] | Kid, if you’re slowing down ’cause you think you’re doing bad right now, Jesus Christ. | 孩子 如果你是因为觉得自己讲得不好 才越说越慢 老天爷 |
| [19:34] | -That’s a really good pitch. -Loving it. | 推销十分精彩 我喜欢 |
| [19:35] | Man, you know, I — | 老兄 是这样 我 |
| [19:37] | I’m starting to think heists are just really dumb now, you know? | 我现在开始觉得盗窃真的好蠢 好么 |
| [19:40] | I can’t put my finger on why, | 我说不出原因 |
| [19:42] | but I’d really like to go. | 但我确实想走了 |
| [19:44] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
| [19:45] | Yeah, yeah, no, I-I’m sure. | 是 是 不用送了 我 我确定 |
| [19:48] | Man, it’s as if someone stole his enthusiasm for his own idea. | 靠 这就像有人把他对这个创意的热忱给偷走了一样 |
| [19:53] | Yeah, without him even knowing about it. | 是啊 他自己还不知道被偷了 |
| [19:54] | Without him even knowing about it. | 毫不知情 |
| [19:58] | Fuckin’ Morty’s still working on that stupid heist script. | 傻逼Morty还在折腾他的傻逼盗窃剧本 |
| [20:01] | He’s up in his room with his fuckin’ thumb up his ass. | 他把自己关在屋里 把拇指塞进屁眼儿 |
| [20:03] | Skipped out on the last three adventures. | 连翘了三次冒险 |
| [20:05] | I don’t know. Five of my friends got Netflix deals. | 不知道该说啥 反正我都有五个朋友跟网飞合作上了 |
| [20:07] | What? It’s a very achievable goal. You could lose him. | – 啥 – 这是个相当容易的事儿 他迟早会离开你 |
| [20:10] | I’m not gonna fuckin’ lose him. | 他他妈的才不会离开我 |
| [20:11] | Fuck that. | 滚他妈的吧 |
| [20:12] | I-I’m gonna nip this shit in the bud. | 我要把这逼事儿扼杀在摇篮里 |
| [20:14] | No. As a matter of fact, you’re not nipping anything in the bud. | 不行 事实上 你不许扼杀任何事儿 |
| [20:15] | If Morty ever gives up on a single dream, | 如果Morty放弃了哪怕一个小梦想 |
| [20:18] | it had better be because of his own disillusionment. | 那也最好是因为他自行醒悟 |
| [20:23] | Hey, buddy. How’d it go? | 嘿 小老弟 怎么样了 |
| [20:24] | I-I don’t want to talk about it. | 无可奉告 |
| [20:27] | Morty, you know, pal, you, uh — | Morty 听我说 老弟 你 呃 |
| [20:29] | you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. | 放弃就一定会失败 |
| [20:32] | Yeah, I guess. | 是啊 我也这么觉得 |
| [20:33] | Thanks for staying positive about my prospects, Rick. | 谢谢你对我的未来做出正面评价 Rick |
| [20:35] | Of course! You know, you — | 当然 你懂的 你 |
| [20:36] | I got to help my grandson follow his dreams. | 我得帮助我的外孙实现梦想 |
| [20:38] | Eh, who needs dreams? | 呃 梦想能吃吗 |
| [20:39] | I’ll just hang out with you and go on adventures | 我只想跟你瞎逛逛 冒冒险 |
| [20:41] | and do whatever you want to do, you know, forever. | 爱干啥就干点啥 你懂的 永远 |
| [20:43] | Oh, well, uh, okay. | 噢 行啊 呃 吼啊 |
| [20:44] | I mean, if that’s what you want. | 我是说 如果这就是你想要的 |
| [21:22] | Oooo weee! Big storm coming. | 暴风雨要来了 |
| [21:25] | Could be a twister. Mm-hmm! | 没准有龙卷风 |
| [21:31] | Hey, Rick? | 嘿 Rick |
| [21:32] | Can you walk me through something? | 有个事儿你能帮我捋捋吗 |
| [21:33] | Yeah. What are you thinking? | 行啊 啥事儿 |
| [21:35] | So, you and Morty knew you needed my help, | 就是说 你和Morty知道需要我的帮助 |
| [21:37] | but you weren’t sure I was good enough at karate, | 但不确定我还能打 |
| [21:40] | so you hired my grad students to attack me? | 所以你就雇了我的学生们上台削我吗 |
| [21:44] | Yep. | 正是 |
| [21:45] | But it was an emergency, Rick. | 但那是个突发事件啊 Rick |
| [21:48] | How long did that take? | 你筹备了多久 |
| [21:50] | It actually took less training than you’d think. | 实际上的训练量比你想的要少 |
| [21:54] | Your students all shared | 你的学生们全都 |
| [21:55] | a pretty keen aptitude for martial arts. | 在武术方面天赋异禀 |
| [21:57] | I don’t know if that’s by coincidence | 我不知道那是不是巧合 |
| [21:59] | or if there’s some correlation with their passion | 或者跟他们对美国黑人妇女 |
| [22:01] | for African-American Women’s Studies. | 的研究热情有点儿什么关系 |
| [22:03] | Maya Angelou did personify both acquiescence and perseverance. | 马娅·安杰卢可真是默许和抗争的有机结合啊 |
| [22:08] | Ooo wee. That’s exactly the kind of connection I’d have loved to explore in my class. | 这种关联 正是我原本想在课堂上探讨的 |
| [22:15] | Too bad I lost my job | 可惜我因为 |
| [22:17] | for putting my students in the hospital. | 把学生揍进医院被辞退了 |
| [22:20] | Yeah. Yeah. | 是 是啊 |
| [22:22] | Sorry about that. | 真遗憾 |
| [22:31] | Did you get any of that? | 看懂了么 |