| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:13] | Wait, are we gonna put it back when we’re done with it? | 等等，我们之后会放回来吗？ |
| [00:15] | Why? The only thing of value on it is the secret treasure map. | 为什么？ 只有秘密藏宝图有价值 |
| [00:18] | The rest is just instructions for running a country. | 其他只是治理国家的指示 |
| [00:20] | – and I’m pretty sure they’re online. – It just feels a little wrong. | －网络上应该有 －感觉不太好 |
| [00:22] | Morty, are you gonna be a fuckin’ America nerd | 莫蒂，你是要当个他妈的美式乖乖 |
| [00:24] | or are you gonna be cool and steal the Constitution with Grandpa? | 还是要跟外公一起偷《宪法》？ |
| [00:30] | Here, hold this while I crack the hermetic seal. | 帮我拿着，我来打开这个密封柜 |
| [00:31] | Why not just use this again? | 干吗不用这个就好？ |
| [00:40] | Morty! You just destroyed the map | 莫蒂，你把藏宝图毁了 |
| [00:42] | and activated the giant assassin hidden in the Statue of Liberty! | 还启动了自由女神里的巨人刺客 |
| [00:45] | I’m sorry! Wait, what? | 抱歉，等等，什么？ |
| [00:46] | It was a Trojan horse, Morty. | 自由女神是特洛伊木马，莫蒂 |
| [00:47] | Never trust the French. | 法国人不可信 |
| [00:48] | All right. Fun’s fun, but the federal government’s gonna be pissed again. Way to go. | 好，我们玩够了，联邦政府一定会很生气，做得好 |
| [00:52] | And on America’s birthday | 今天还是美国的生日 |
| [00:53] | or whatever the fuck Thanksgiving is. | 我也不确定感恩节是什么日子 |
| [01:29] | Rick and Morty, you are under arrest | 瑞克和莫蒂，你们被逮捕了 |
| [01:31] | and surrounded by an anti-portal shimmer! | 你们已经被防传送光包围了 |
| [01:33] | Come out with your hands up! | 快出来，双手举高 |
| [01:34] | Well, happy Thanksgiving to me! | 祝我感恩节快乐 |
| [01:36] | Can’t wait to see what a shimmer | 不知道那道光 |
| [01:37] | does to my prostate. | 对我的前列腺会有什么影响 |
| [01:39] | Dad, can you please just end whatever this is? | 爸，你能快点搞定这件事吗？ |
| [01:41] | I understand you’re upset, Mr. President | 我能理解你很生气，总统 |
| [01:43] | it’s honestly all Morty’s fault. | 其实全是莫蒂的错 |
| [01:44] | But in the meantime, you really want to keep your army | 但请你叫莫名穿着迷彩装的童军 |
| [01:47] | of pointlessly camouflaged eagle scouts off my lawn. | 离开我家的前院 |
| [01:48] | Don’t tell me what I want you anti-American piece of shit! You terrorist! | 少对我发号施令，你这反美人渣，你这恐怖分子 |
| [01:52] | You know, you use that word so much it’s lost all meaning, Mr. P. | 你把这词滥用到没意义了，总统 |
| [01:55] | It’s like, at this point, what’s a terrorist? | 恐怖分子现在代表什么意义？ |
| [01:56] | It’s a guy you don’t like, big deal. | 就只是你不喜欢的人而已 |
| [02:03] | Told you to stand down. | 我就叫你的手下别过来了 |
| [02:05] | You just lost two soldiers over here. Good men. | 你就这样失去了两名英勇的士兵 |
| [02:07] | Might be time to look at the terrorist in the mirror. | 或许你自己才是恐怖分子 |
| [02:09] | You want a war? | 你想开战吗？ |
| [02:10] | I’ll put your outer space ass in a goddamn phantom zone | 我会把你这太空人关进幻影地带 |
| [02:13] | with a bar of kryptonite soap around your neck. | 在你的脖子上绑氪星石 |
| [02:14] | You’re done, Sanchez! You hear me? | 你完蛋了，山查兹，听到没有？ |
| [02:16] | He’s really pissed this time. | 他这次很生气 |
| [02:18] | Why don’t you guys just fuck and get it over with? | 你们两个不如就直接开干吧？ |
| [02:19] | OK, well thank you Summer, but I think I’ve got a better option. | 谢谢，桑美，但我有更好的办法 |
| [02:22] | – Dad, no. – Hands are tied, sweetie. | －爸，不行 －我别无他法 |
| [02:25] | I have to turn myself into a turkey and trick the President | 我得把自己变成火鸡 |
| [02:26] | into giving me a presidential turkey pardon. | 骗总统赦免我 |
| [02:28] | Again? How many times have you done this? | 又来？ 你这招用过几次了？ |
| [02:31] | I don’t know, Jerry, how many years have I lived here? | 我不知道，杰瑞，我住几年了？ |
| [02:33] | Careful how you answer that. | 回答时注意一点 |
| [02:34] | Jeez, Rick. You know, you’ve done this a lot. | 天啊，瑞克，你常常用这招 |
| [02:35] | Don’t you think the President might see it coming this time? | 总统难道不会料到吗？ |
| [02:38] | He probably will, Morty. That’s all part of the dance. | 他或许会，莫蒂，我都想好了 |
| [02:40] | In the past, I’ve inserted myself into the potential turkey pardonee population | 我曾在典礼前洗脑火鸡驯养人 |
| [02:44] | by brainwashing the presidential turkey wrangler prior to the ceremony. | 潜入候选赦免火鸡群中 |
| [02:47] | But this time, the turkey wrangler’s been euthanized | 但那火鸡驯养人已经被安乐死了 |
| [02:49] | and the turkeys will be transported by armored military vehicles. | 火鸡会使用装甲军用车辆运送 |
| [02:52] | Vehicles manufactured by ghost corporations that I control. | 但车是我控制的空壳公司生产的 |
| [02:56] | Which we have audited. | 我们审查过了 |
| [02:57] | – Allowing me access to… – Central computers. | －所以我能进入… －中央电脑 |
| [02:59] | – To track the… – Real armored transports, | －追踪… －真正的装甲车 |
| [03:01] | – which he can never… – Totally track and sneak aboard. | －他绝对… －能追踪并偷上车 |
| [03:03] | And even if he does he’ll be on a truck | 就算他跑上车了 |
| [03:04] | full of turkeys and fully armed marines…, | 车上有很多火鸡和武装陆战队员 |
| [03:07] | Who won’t recognize me | 他们认不出我 |
| [03:08] | because the human eye is inherently face blind to turkeys. | 因为人眼无法辨认不同火鸡 |
| [03:11] | Fortunately, those marines won’t have human eyes. | 那些陆战队员的眼睛不会是人眼 |
| [03:14] | They’ll have turkey eyes. | 会是火鸡眼 |
| [03:15] | Jesus ever-loving Christ. Why don’t you two just fuck and get it over with? | 天啊，你们不如直接开干吧？ |
| [03:19] | Careful, Dwayne. You’re only vice-president | 小心点，杜万，你能当副总统 |
| [03:21] | because I need 10% of the white vote. | 是因为我需要一成的白人票 |
| [03:23] | There’s a giant French assassin attacking New York | 有个法国巨人刺客正在攻击纽约 |
| [03:26] | and you’re using the war room | 你竟然在用战情室 |
| [03:27] | to measure dicks with your alcoholic sci-fi boyfriend. | 跟你的酒鬼科幻男友比大小？ |
| [03:30] | Rick Sanchez is more dangerous | 瑞克山查兹比蒸气驱动的 |
| [03:32] | than some steam-powered French bitch | 那个法国婊子危险多了 |
| [03:34] | and New York can handle its own global emergencies. | 纽约可以自己解决危机 |
| [03:36] | General! Initiate Operation Deep Gobble. | 上将？展开深啼行动 |
| [03:41] | Coop, not on Thanksgiving. | 库普，今天是感恩节 |
| [03:43] | It’s what I trained for, Mary Lou. | 我必须出征，玛莉露 |
| [03:44] | – It ain’t our fight. – Baby. | －这不关我们的事 －宝贝 |
| [03:46] | That little race car driver you got bakin’ in your belly. | 你希望肚子里的小赛车手 |
| [03:49] | What world do you want him rearin’ up in? | 在什么样的世界长大？ |
| [03:51] | One where some spiky-haired Doctor Who in a lab coat | 穿实验衣的尖头发神秘博士 |
| [03:54] | can change the color of the sky? | 可以改变天空颜色的世界吗？ |
| [03:55] | Or a world where he can fill his pick-up with hot dogs and drive it | 还是你想让他能开皮卡车载热狗 |
| [03:58] | to a jukebox full of our demographic’s current favorite music? | 给喜欢这种音乐类型的人吃？ |
| [04:02] | Obviously the latter, but… | 当然是后者，但… |
| [04:03] | Well, that world, Mary Lou, | 既然这样，玛莉露 |
| [04:05] | the one with those meals, vehicles | 如果想要有热狗、卡车 |
| [04:06] | and songs people in this 30-mile area prefer… | 和附近的人爱听的歌 |
| [04:09] | that world needs a few good men, | 我们就要当正派的人 |
| [04:10] | in a secret Pentagon lab turning into turkeys. | 去国防部的秘密实验室变成火鸡 |
| [04:14] | You come back without feathers, Coop. | 你拔完羽毛再回来，库普 |
| [04:18] | God, I love this country. | 天啊，我好爱这个国家 |
| [04:23] | *I got a pregnant girl and a pickup truck* | *怀着宝宝的女孩儿，开着皮卡的我* |
| [04:25] | *I got one by choice and the other by luck* | *我选择了女孩儿，而皮卡选择了我* |
| [04:28] | *But now it’s time to turn into a turkey* | *是时候变成火鸡了* |
| [04:32] | *I hope there can be peace one day* | *惟愿有朝一日世界和平* |
| [04:34] | *Till then, I pray my DNA* | *到了功成之日，请为我的DNA祈祷* |
| [04:36] | *Gets backed up* | *让我变回自己* |
| [04:38] | These pills contain tracking chips | 这药丸里有追踪晶片 |
| [04:40] | that identify each of you as individuals. | 可以辨别你们的身份 |
| [04:42] | That will be important later. | 这之后会很重要 |
| [04:45] | *Gobble, gobble* | *咯咯，咯咯* |
| [04:48] | *Gobble, gobble* | *咕咕，咕咕* |
| [04:50] | *When I turn into a turkey* | *当我变成火鸡* |
| [05:00] | All right, boys, search every bird. | 好，各位，检查每一只火鸡 |
| [05:02] | If Sanchez is here, I wanna hear you gobblin’. | 如果发现山查兹，就啼个几声 |
| [05:05] | Let me look at you, scum! | 让我仔细看看，混蛋 |
| [05:06] | Get outta here, you wobbleneck! | 你走吧，火鸡 |
| [05:08] | Sarge, this… this ain’t like the simulation, man. | 中士，这跟模拟的时候不一样 |
| [05:10] | – I don’t like it. – Keep it together, Martinez! | －我不喜欢 －振作点，马丁纳 |
| [05:12] | Eyes are on the ground, sir. | 我们已经到现场了 |
| [05:14] | – No sign of Einstein. – Stay frosty, gentlemen. | －没发现爱因斯坦 －提高警觉 |
| [05:16] | I want this pardoning pipeline airtight. | 一定要好好守住这群火鸡 |
| [05:19] | Sir! We have hacked the garage door. We are in. | 总统，我们把车库门破解打开了 |
| [05:22] | – Eyes on the bogey. – Or you’ve got eyes on a robot. | －目标就在眼前 －那是机器人 |
| [05:25] | All due respect, sir, I know flesh when I see it. | 恕我直言，我分得出人肉和机器 |
| [05:27] | Those flesh-covered robots should buy us some time. | 人肉机器人应该能争取一点时间 |
| [05:30] | The pardonable turkeys should be on that truck. | 候选火鸡应该就在这辆车上 |
| [05:32] | Ship, go stealth. | 开启隐形功能 |
| [05:35] | Rodriguez, Fincher! Get eyes on that! | 罗德、芬奇，去看看 |
| [05:38] | Turkey marines. | 火鸡海军陆战队员 |
| [05:39] | The President came to play. | 总统是来真的 |
| [05:41] | – Jam those two radios. – Confirmed. | －干扰无线电 －收到 |
| [05:43] | Jeez! | 天啊 |
| [05:54] | Fincher, Rodriguez, come in! | 芬奇、罗德，快回答 |
| [05:56] | Copy, copy, tango, all good. | 收到，队长，没有异状 |
| [05:57] | Just a couple of branches on the roof. | 只是树枝掉到车顶上而已 |
| [06:00] | Don’t ever turn your radio off again! | 不准关掉无线电 |
| [06:02] | – We will not surrender! – We will never surrender! | －我们不投降 －我们绝不投降 |
| [06:04] | – We will not surrender! – Oh, yeah? | －我们不投降 －是吗？ |
| [06:05] | Bring in the David Blaine box. | 把大卫布莱恩箱拿来 |
| [06:09] | Damn, is that a David Blaine box? | 天啊，是大卫布莱恩箱吗？ |
| [06:11] | I told you, we should have just gone to my parents’ house. | 我就说吧，应该要去我爸妈家的 |
| [06:13] | – No, you didn’t. – Well, I didn’t say it out loud. | －你没说 －我没说出口 |
| [06:16] | But it should be well known by now that I’d always rather be there. | 但大家都知道我想去那里 |
| [06:19] | – Oh, God! Oh, no! – Jeez, Rick! | －天啊，不 －天啊，瑞克 |
| [06:20] | Sir, we’ve got Rick and Morty inside the box. | 总统，我们把瑞克和莫蒂关住了 |
| [06:22] | – Then that confirms it. – Sir? | －那就证实了 －什么？ |
| [06:24] | No David Blaine box could hold Rick Sanchez. | 大卫布莱恩箱关不住瑞克山查兹 |
| [06:26] | Scan the turkey truck. | 扫描火鸡车 |
| [06:28] | That’s weird. ID chips for Fincher and Rodriguez are glitching. | 怪了，芬奇和罗德的晶片有异状 |
| [06:31] | Sanchez. | 山查兹 |
| [06:32] | I’ll deal with this bastard myself. | 我会亲自对付那混蛋 |
| [06:34] | Sir, don’t be a cowboy. You can’t get re-elected dead. | 总统，别逞强，死了就无法连任 |
| [06:37] | System’s calibrated, sir. | 系统已校准，总统 |
| [06:38] | That pill contains a tracking chip that will identify… | 这药丸里有追踪晶… |
| [06:40] | I know, it’ll be important later. | 我知道，之后会很重要 |
| [06:42] | Do it! | 来吧 |
| [06:48] | Moments from now, the President will be pardoning a turkey. | 总统稍后就会赦免火鸡 |
| [06:53] | Home stretch, Morty. Here comes dipshit right on schedule. | 我们快成功了，莫蒂，那废物要准时现身了 |
| [06:57] | Nothing can go wrong now. | 一定不会出错 |
| [06:59] | – Jesus! Is that… – Oh, shit. | －我的天啊，那是… －靠 |
| [07:01] | The President has the upper hand. Grandpa fucked up. | 总统占上风了，外公搞砸了 |
| [07:03] | Sunglasses on! Act like a turkey! | 戴上墨镜，快装成火鸡 |
| [07:04] | – What? Are you scared? – Act like a turkey! | －什么？你会怕？ －装成火鸡 |
| [07:09] | That’s Rodriguez and Fincher, sir. | 这两位是罗德和芬奇，总统 |
| [07:11] | It’s Rick and Morty, you useless fucking stump humper! | 是瑞克和莫蒂，他妈没用的废物 |
| [07:13] | Sorry, don’t tell 10% of your friends I called you that. | 抱歉，别跟你一成的朋友说此事 |
| [07:16] | – Mr. President. – Sanchez, admit it. You lose. | －总统 －山查兹，你就认输吧 |
| [07:19] | Say it and I’ll let your loser ass go. | 你只要认输，我就放过你 |
| [07:22] | Did you just try to spit in my face with no saliva gland? | 你没唾液腺还想吐我口水？ |
| [07:24] | Just pardon me, dick! | 快赦免我，混蛋 |
| [07:25] | – Why the hell would I? – Oh, I don’t know. | －为什么？ －因为呢 |
| [07:27] | ‘Cause if I move to Canada, they’ll be the best country. | 我若搬去加拿大，就会赢过美国 |
| [07:29] | I’ll peck your goddamn eyes out! | 我要啄瞎你 |
| [07:31] | – Ouch! Hey! – Shit! My plume! | －嘿 －靠，我的羽毛 |
| [07:34] | Back off! | 嘿，后退 |
| [07:36] | Blueberries! We got blueberries down! | 蓝莓，蓝莓掉到地上了 |
| [07:38] | Hold your positions. It’s a feeding frenzy! | 稳住阵脚，火鸡正在疯狂觅食 |
| [07:41] | I can’t see. I mean, I can see… 270 degrees. | 我看不到，我能看到270度 |
| [07:45] | It’s too many degrees! | 这角度太广了 |
| [07:47] | Sir, we are losing the mental game down here. | 长官，我们的心理战快输了 |
| [07:50] | Keep it together, soldier! POTUS is still in that pen! | 振作点，各位，总统还在里面 |
| [07:59] | We just lost New York to France! | 纽约被法国夺走了 |
| [08:02] | Pull out the President right now! | 马上把总统抓出来 |
| [08:03] | Gobble Tango, I want POTUS out of that pen! | 队长，把总统抓出来 |
| [08:05] | That’s an order! Locate the President’s chip! | 这是命令，扫描总统晶片 |
| [08:08] | Roger-roger. | 收到… |
| [08:09] | There he is, I got him. | 他在那里，我找到他了 |
| [08:10] | Let’s go, boys! Let’s fly out the Eagle! | 我们出发，把总统护送出去 |
| [08:15] | Hey, that’s not me. | 嘿，那不是我 |
| [08:16] | Package is secure. Pull us out. | 找到总统了，带我们离开 |
| [08:20] | Reinjecting subject DNA. | 重新注入基因 |
| [08:30] | Hoppin’ Jehovah, you look like five pounds of shit in a whore’s lunchbox. | 我的天啊，你看起来还真恶心 |
| [08:35] | You all right, Mr. President? | 你还好吗，总统先生？ |
| [08:36] | Yes. I am the President. | 对，我是总统 |
| [08:40] | Clean his ass up and get him to the war room. | 把他清干净，带他到战情室 |
| [08:42] | Hey! Gobble Squad! You got the wrong guy, you morons! | 火鸡队，你们搞错人了，笨蛋 |
| [08:46] | Look at this dumb piece of shit. Gobbling away. | 这只蠢火鸡一直乱叫 |
| [08:48] | Get back in there! | 滚回去 |
| [08:50] | All right, boys, you heard the VP. | 好，你们都听到副总统的命令了 |
| [08:52] | Pardon is tits up. Pack up and ship out! | 赦免典礼取消了，马上撤退 |
| [08:57] | As for you, Sanchez, bon appétit. | 至于你呢，山查兹，请慢用 |
| [09:04] | Where is this elevator going? | 这电梯会通往哪里？ |
| [09:06] | Where all the unchosen turkeys go. The feeding chamber. | 没获选的火鸡都会被送往喂食室 |
| [09:13] | What the fuck is that? | 这什么鬼东西？ |
| [09:15] | Not what… who. | 不是东西，是人 |
| [09:17] | The only thing to fear is… me! | 你们唯一该惧怕的就是我 |
| [09:20] | How the fuck does the White House have a cloned spider of FDR? | 白宫他妈为什么会有小罗斯福的复制蜘蛛？ |
| [09:23] | It’s no clone, it’s FDR. | 那是小罗斯福本人 |
| [09:25] | He was a guinea pig for the polio vaccine. | 他参与了小儿麻痹疫苗实验 |
| [09:26] | We asked ourselves what walks the most? | 我们想知道哪种动物最常行走？ |
| [09:29] | We? You’re taking credit for this? | “我们”？ 你把自己也算进去？ |
| [09:30] | The office comes with baggage, Morty. | 当总统就得承担包袱，莫蒂 |
| [09:33] | – Rick, I’m afraid to die! – You won’t have to be for long, Morty. | －瑞克，我怕死 －别怕，莫蒂 |
| [09:36] | We’re due to return to human form any second. | 我们马上就会变回人类了 |
| [09:38] | – Then what? – Then we just have to | －然后呢？ －然后就想办法 |
| [09:39] | not get eaten by the spider. | 别被蜘蛛吃掉 |
| [09:40] | Oh, so in other words, be afraid to die? | 所以我还是要怕死？ |
| [09:42] | Morty, if winning an argument is that important to you | 莫蒂，你如果真的这么爱辩 |
| [09:44] | you were never alive. | 那你从来没有活过 |
| [09:45] | Time for a new deal. Murder! | 我们来谈条件，杀人 |
| [09:48] | I’m sick of hearing how iconic you were! | 我受够大家对你的崇拜了 |
| [09:51] | Try having an historical administration | 等你在脸书出现后 |
| [09:53] | after Facebook goes online, you old-timey bitch! | 还能受大家喜爱再说吧，死老头 |
| [09:57] | Morty, tear open that panel! | 莫蒂，把面板打开 |
| [10:00] | How’s this for a fireside chat? | 我们来场炉边谈话，好吗？ |
| [10:05] | – You just killed FDR. – He was a monster though. | －你杀了小罗斯福 －他是怪兽 |
| [10:07] | Don’t mythologize him, he was a politician. | 别把他神话了，他是政治人物 |
| [10:10] | Speaking of, you kinda saved our bacon there | 说到这个，你救了我们一命 |
| [10:12] | so I’ll make you a deal. | 所以我愿意跟你谈条件 |
| [10:13] | You pardon us and I’ll make you human. | 你赦免我，我就把你变回人类 |
| [10:15] | – Wrong turkey. – Man, the face blindness is real. | －是这只 －人眼真的无法辨识 |
| [10:20] | I’d like these men turned back into humans, please. | 帮我把这些人变回人类 |
| [10:23] | Yes, of course, Mr. President. | 没问题，总统 |
| [10:25] | But I thought we already rehumanized all the turkified marines. | 但我们应该已经把所有陆战队员变回人类了 |
| [10:29] | I’d like these men turned back into humans. I am the President. | 把这些人变回人类，我是总统 |
| [10:33] | Yes, sir. Sure thing. | 遵命，总统，没问题 |
| [10:34] | Increase their strength by 1,000%. | 把他们的力量增加十倍 |
| [10:38] | But… that wouldn’t be human. | 那他们就不会是人类了 |
| [10:41] | Turkeys have always been more than human. | 火鸡一向都比人类优秀 |
| [10:44] | OK, so right there, now I’m starting to… | 好吧，你这样我会怀疑… |
| [10:49] | I am selling New York to France. | 我要把纽约卖给法国 |
| [10:54] | And giving all of the money to Congress. | 把卖得的钱交给国会 |
| [10:58] | All right, yeah! | 好耶 |
| [10:59] | – Now that’s how you do it. – He became President today. | －这样就对了 －这才是真总统 |
| [11:04] | That’s right, murmur. | 对，尽管议论吧 |
| [11:06] | And when you’re done, get me some pants. | 忙完拿裤子来给我 |
| [11:07] | If you’re the President | 如果你是总统 |
| [11:09] | who the hell have we been governing the country with | 那过去这三个小时 |
| [11:11] | for the last three hours? | 治理我们国家的人是谁？ |
| [11:12] | An impostor, you good-for-nothing idiot! You humanized the wrong turkey! | 是冒牌货，笨蛋，你抓错火鸡了 |
| [11:16] | It’s possible. We shouldn’t leave anything to chance. | 确实有可能，我们不能冒险 |
| [11:20] | Wouldn’t want Congress working with the wrong President. | 不能让国会跟错误的总统合作 |
| [11:24] | A very good point, Mr. President. | 有道理，总统先生 |
| [11:26] | Do we believe this fine-feathered, collaborative gentleman | 我们认为这位爱好合作的先生 |
| [11:29] | to be our commander in chief? | 是我们的总司令吗？ |
| [11:30] | Or are we gonna let Mr. Cash Bar | 还是我们要让不允许圣诞派对 |
| [11:33] | at the Christmas party stay in office? | 免费供酒的人继续当总统？ |
| [11:35] | All in favor of Turkey President? | 支持火鸡总统的人有多少？ |
| [11:38] | You can’t be serious. You think he cares about America? | 荒谬，你觉得他在乎美国吗？ |
| [11:40] | Is that why this is happening to you? | 那你为什么会遇到这种事？ |
| [11:43] | Because you cared about America? | 是因为你在乎美国吗？ |
| [11:46] | Guards, these men are… what is the word? | 守卫，这三位是，那叫什么？ |
| [11:50] | Terrorists. | 恐怖分子 |
| [11:51] | OK, screw this. Go, go, Sanchez laser fists! | 我不管了，启动山查兹雷射拳 |
| [11:54] | When I turn into a turkey. Oh, shit. I was a turkey for a while, wasn’t I? | 靠，我刚刚变成了火鸡，对吧？ |
| [11:57] | OK, guy’s pretty strong. | 好吧，你力气好大 |
| [11:59] | Mary Todd Lincoln! | 玛丽陶德林肯 |
| [12:03] | Who’s dead weight now, bitch? | 现在谁才是拖油瓶，婊子？ |
| [12:11] | You should regain feeling in your ass in a minute. | 你的屁股马上就会恢复知觉了 |
| [12:13] | Sorry my turrets blew up your motorcycle. | 抱歉，我的炮塔炸掉了你的机车 |
| [12:15] | Just give me some goddamn clothes. | 快拿衣服给我穿 |
| [12:16] | Must suck to have your only safe haven be my house. | 你只能来我家避难，一定很难受 |
| [12:19] | You want your regular outfit | 你想穿你平常的衣服 |
| [12:20] | or should we dress you like a terrorist? | 还是恐怖分子的衣服？ |
| [12:21] | I don’t need to be here and I’m still the President. | 我也能离开，而且我依然是总统 |
| [12:23] | Oh, glad to hear it. That means you can give me that pardon. | 太好了，那你就赦免我吧 |
| [12:25] | Or I could put you out with the trash. | 不然我就把你赶出去 |
| [12:27] | What is your problem? Why do you hate this country? | 你有什么毛病？ 你为什么讨厌这个国家？ |
| [12:29] | I hate every country in the universe, brother. | 我讨厌全宇宙的每个国家，兄弟 |
| [12:31] | They’re job placement programs for the politicians that invent them. | 国家只是政治人物发明出来发钱给自己的东西而已 |
| [12:34] | OK, Fight Club. | 好吧，神经病 |
| [12:35] | I get paid to protect the sidelines you sit on! | 我的职责是要保护坐在场边的你 |
| [12:38] | You get paid to make sports metaphors! | 你的职责只是耍嘴皮子 |
| [12:39] | I clean your litterbox. | 我会帮你清砂盆 |
| [12:41] | So your little nerd paws don’t have to touch another nerd’s nerdy poopies | 让你这自以为酷的书呆子拉屎时 |
| [12:45] | while you’re flexing your grody little edge-lord anus all over it! | 手不会碰到其他书呆子的大便 |
| [12:47] | Guys, maybe you’re both right and both wrong. | 大家，或许你们都对也都错 |
| [12:49] | – Shut up, Morty! – Shut up, Morty! | －闭嘴，莫蒂 －闭嘴，莫蒂 |
| [12:50] | You little bitch. You destroyed the Constitution. | 你这小贱货，你毁了《宪法》 |
| [12:53] | You’re the biggest booger eater here! | 你才是最可恶的混蛋 |
| [12:54] | Do not talk to my son that way. | 你不能这样对我儿子说话 |
| [12:57] | Sorry, Mrs. Smith. | 抱歉，史密斯太太 |
| [12:58] | The two of you are ruining Thanksgiving. Together. | 你们两个联手毁了感恩节 |
| [13:01] | And you can both either come to the table and eat food with my family | 快来跟我的家人一起吃饭 |
| [13:04] | or you can keep doing what you’re doing at the corner bar. | 否则就滚到酒吧去继续吵 |
| [13:07] | Bars actually suck at Thanksgiving. | 感恩节上酒吧很可悲 |
| [13:09] | I’m still trying to sort through this. | 我还是搞不太懂 |
| [13:12] | One of you wishes you had the personal quality known as courage | 你们其中一个人希望自己有勇气 |
| [13:15] | but the other two of you want actual vital organs? | 另外两个人则想要重要器官？ |
| [13:17] | This Charlie Kaufman reboot of Wizard Of Oz | 查理考夫曼翻拍的《绿野仙踪》 |
| [13:19] | is destroying itself. | 简直是场灾难 |
| [13:21] | That’s why I need a brain! I’m doing a terrible job writing this! | 所以我需要大脑，我写得好烂 |
| [13:26] | Pass the potatoes? | 能把马铃薯递给我吗？ |
| [13:28] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [13:31] | Good green beans, Mom. | 四季豆很好吃，妈 |
| [13:32] | The turkey’s raw, Dad. Shit’s potato bunz. | 火鸡是生的，爸，根本不能吃 |
| [13:34] | Sorry, Summer. The United States enclosed us in a shimmer bubble | 抱歉，桑美，我们被国家关在光罩里 |
| [13:37] | that scrambled my oven timer. | 扰乱了我的烤箱计时器 |
| [13:39] | So, I guess elections do have consequences. | 看来我们真的选错人了 |
| [13:41] | Eat my ass, Jerry. I’ve seen your IRS records. | 吃屎吧，杰瑞，我查过你的资料 |
| [13:44] | You can blame me once you have taxable income. | 等你有应税所得再来怪我 |
| [13:47] | Yes, Jerry is a piece of shit. I agree. | 没错，我也认同杰瑞是废物 |
| [13:49] | Guys? What’s that? | 各位，那是怎么回事？ |
| [13:51] | Paula, as you can see President Curtis has enacted a plan | 宝拉，克提斯总统施行了 |
| [13:54] | to turn all turkeys in America into hybrid super soldiers. | 把全美火鸡变成超级士兵的计划 |
| [13:57] | The move has 100% approval from Congress | 国会在六小时内加薪三次后 |
| [13:59] | following its third pay raise in six hours. | 就全体同意通过本法案 |
| [14:01] | Back to you. | 镜头交还给主播 |
| [14:07] | My god, the bastard’s unhinged! | 天啊，那混蛋疯了 |
| [14:09] | There won’t be a single bird left in DC! | 特区会连一只鸟都不剩 |
| [14:11] | Oh, wow, wiping out a native population on Thanksgiving? | 天啊，在感恩节屠杀原住民？ |
| [14:13] | – That’s never happened before. – What did you just say? | －这还是第一次 －你说什么？ |
| [14:16] | Well, I associated Thanksgiving with genocide. | 我把感恩节跟种族屠杀做了连结 |
| [14:18] | It’s what young people do, I wasn’t trying to… | 年轻人都会这样，我不是想… |
| [14:20] | The Crypt of the New World! | 新世界地穴 |
| [14:21] | That could be our one chance to turn this thing around! | 这是我们唯一能扭转乾坤的机会 |
| [14:24] | You know about the Crypt? | 你知道地穴的事？ |
| [14:26] | So the treasure’s already gone. | 那宝藏一定被拿光了 |
| [14:27] | Wait, is that why you were stealing the Constitution? You old fart dick. | 这就是你偷《宪法》的原因吗？蠢老头子 |
| [14:30] | The Crypt of the New World isn’t a treasure. | 新世界地穴里的不是宝藏 |
| [14:32] | But it might be our only hope. Come on. | 但或许是我们唯一的希望，来吧 |
| [14:34] | But isn’t the Crypt underneath DC? | 那个地穴不是在特区吗？ |
| [14:36] | The Turkey President’s got an army. An actual army! | 火鸡总统有军队，陆军军队 |
| [14:39] | – And an air force! And marines! – Slow down, Morty! | －还有空军、海军 －讲慢一点 |
| [14:41] | Walk us through every military service. | 把所有军队都讲一遍 |
| [14:42] | Does somebody have a pen? | 谁有笔？ |
| [14:43] | We’ve got something more powerful than every army in the world. | 我们有比任何军队都强大的东西 |
| [14:46] | Well, no, we don’t, but with the right speech | 其实没有，但只要演讲成功 |
| [14:49] | we could get a handful of well-trained hillbillies. | 就能说服几位受过训练的乡巴佬 |
| [14:51] | It worked against the British. I’m in. | 我们曾这样对抗过英国，我支持 |
| [14:53] | Birds replacin’ people. | 用火鸡取代人 |
| [14:55] | What would Johnny Cash or Dale Earnhardt say? | 强尼凯许或戴尔恩哈特会怎说？ |
| [14:57] | He’d say it’s time to walk the line | 他会说，该付诸行动了 |
| [15:00] | or drive very fast between two of them. | 或是开快车经过 |
| [15:02] | We don’t serve your kind here. | 我们不接待你这种人 |
| [15:04] | Oh my god, are you serious? | 天啊，有没有搞错？ |
| [15:05] | Read the sign. | 自己看 |
| [15:07] | He’s my boss, Marvin. | 他是我长官，马文 |
| [15:08] | It’s OK. Mistrusting presidents is a patriotic duty. | 没事，不信任总统是爱国的表现 |
| [15:12] | And that guy on TV isn’t me. | 电视上那个人不是我 |
| [15:13] | He’s a turkey infused with my DNA. | 是一只注入我基因的火鸡 |
| [15:15] | I’ll be damned. | 我的天啊 |
| [15:20] | Well. I’m racist. | 我歧视黑人 |
| [15:21] | You better not be here to take my man again. | 别想再带走我的男人了 |
| [15:24] | – Mary Lou… – I’m poor! And pregnant! | －玛莉露 －我很穷又怀了孕 |
| [15:26] | With a poor person! | 我的宝宝也很穷 |
| [15:28] | And I need you. And 10% of your baby. | 我需要你，还有你宝宝的一成 |
| [15:31] | Now look, I know it’s going to take more than some speech. | 听着，我知道演讲是不够的 |
| [15:34] | But what is a speech? Isn’t it just a question? | 但演讲是什么？不就是问题吗？ |
| [15:38] | And isn’t that a question too? Speeches are words. | 这句不也是问题吗？演讲是词语 |
| [15:41] | Repeated words. Listed words. | 重复的词语，条列的词语 |
| [15:44] | Repeated lists of repeated words. None of that matters. | 重复条列的重复词语，这不重要 |
| [15:47] | You know what does matter? | 你知道什么最重要吗？ |
| [15:49] | Me asking you… | 我要问你们 |
| [15:51] | will you do what I say? | 你们愿意照我的话做吗？ |
| [15:53] | Just two questions, Chief. | 我只有两个问题 |
| [15:55] | Lock? And load? | 没？问题？ |
| [15:58] | They’re rhetorical, sir. Lock and load! | 这其实不是问题，没问题 |
| [16:01] | Lock and load! | 没问题 |
| [16:11] | Sir, we’ve got Rick and Morty coming in | 总统，看起来瑞克和莫蒂驾驶着 |
| [16:14] | what appears to be an unlicensed Star Wars AT-AT. | 未授权的星球大战全地域装甲运输走兽 |
| [16:16] | Or as the millennials say, A-T, A-T. | 现在的年轻人都说是装运走兽 |
| [16:18] | So it begins. | 开始了 |
| [16:19] | Gobblers! Tonight, we rise! | 各位火鸡，我们今晚要奋力反抗 |
| [16:30] | Oh, jeez… | 哦，天啊 |
| [16:33] | Nice driving, Sanchez. | 驾驶技术不错，山查兹 |
| [16:35] | Wire’s down, pen is clear. | 护网失效，前方安全 |
| [16:37] | You know the goddamn rules. | 你们都知道规矩 |
| [16:38] | If you see something clucking or pecking put a buckshot in its panties. | 如果看到火鸡，就开枪轰掉 |
| [16:55] | Jesus Christ! They got Johnson! | 天啊，强森死了 |
| [16:58] | He got off easy. | 他死得算痛快 |
| [16:59] | Hold off the bastards! | 拖住这些混蛋 |
| [17:03] | – What now, Rick? – Time to turn up the broiler. | －怎么办，瑞克？ －加强火力 |
| [17:12] | Is that… | 这里是… |
| [17:13] | The Crypt of the New World. | 新世界地穴 |
| [17:17] | The treasure you were after | 你们在找的宝藏 |
| [17:18] | is this country’s oldest secret. | 就是美国最古老的秘密 |
| [17:21] | One disguised by centuries of Thanksgiving folklore. | 被感恩节故事掩盖了好几世纪 |
| [17:27] | Is that… a turkey dinosaur? | 这是火鸡恐龙吗？ |
| [17:30] | America’s original rulers. | 美国原本的统治者 |
| [17:31] | Merciless beasts, grazing on the flesh of cowering humans. | 残忍的野兽，猎食懦弱的人类 |
| [17:35] | Then in the 15th century, a vessel crashed. | 15世纪时，有艘船坠地了 |
| [17:37] | Two vessels, really. Onboard, our saviors. | 其实是两艘船，载着我们的救星 |
| [17:41] | Sanchez, pull that lever the same time I do. | 山查兹，跟我同时拉控制杆 |
| [17:55] | Oh, shit, they’re gonna fight! | 靠，他们要打起来了 |
| [17:57] | No, wait, they love each other. | 不对，等等，他们相亲相爱 |
| [17:59] | They were at war when they arrived | 他们刚抵达时，确实是在互斗 |
| [18:00] | but they united over their hatred of turkeys. | 但他们都讨厌火鸡，所以和解了 |
| [18:03] | And what they love even more than each other is kicking turkey butt. | 他们相亲相爱，更爱教训火鸡 |
| [18:07] | Gentlemen. | 各位 |
| [18:22] | It’s working! Come on, Sanchez | 成功了，走吧，山查兹 |
| [18:24] | let’s power down the humanizer ray. | 我们去把变形光束关掉 |
| [18:30] | Whose side are we on? | 我们是站在哪一边的？ |
| [18:32] | I don’t know, but we’ve done enough to pay for college. | 不知道，但为了学费做得够多了 |
| [18:36] | – Look, we’re almost there. – Sorry. | －我们就快到了 －抱歉 |
| [18:39] | My turn for a surprise. | 该由我负责带来惊喜了 |
| [18:40] | Damn, this guy loves arriving from the shadows. | 天啊，他真的很喜欢从暗处登场 |
| [18:42] | Look around, you can’t beat our ancient warriors. | 你们是无法打败这群古代战士的 |
| [18:45] | Can’t I? My kind has always dealt with predators. | 是吗？火鸡一直都在对抗掠食者 |
| [18:48] | That’s why we sleep in trees. | 所以火鸡才会在树上睡觉 |
| [18:50] | And that’s why, in the wild, we fly. | 所以野生火鸡才会飞 |
| [18:56] | Now, you must choose. | 现在轮到你选择了 |
| [18:58] | Fight me, or stop that weapon | 看你要对付我还是阻止那武器 |
| [19:00] | from turning all of America’s turkeys into a new master race. | 把全美火鸡变成新的种族 |
| [19:04] | You dumb dipshit, there’s three of us | 你这蠢蛋，我们有三个人 |
| [19:06] | and two of us are spacemen. | 其中两个是太空人 |
| [19:07] | Obviously, they’re going to save America | 他们当然会去拯救美国 |
| [19:09] | and bring that monument home. | 把纪念碑带回来 |
| [19:10] | And I’m gonna kick your ass. | 而我会负责教训你 |
| [19:12] | Oh, and Sanchez? You got your pardon. | 对了，山查兹？我赦免你 |
| [19:14] | Shut up, Morty! Come on! | 闭嘴，莫蒂，我们走 |
| [19:16] | – Let’s go, bitch. – So be it. | －来吧，婊子 －没问题 |
| [19:22] | Is it true what Turkey Man said? | 火鸡人说的是真的吗？ |
| [19:23] | That turkeys sleep in trees? | 火鸡会在树上睡觉吗？ |
| [19:25] | Who the hell cares, Morty? Let’s just deactivate this shit. | 谁在乎，莫蒂？先关闭这武器 |
| [19:27] | Calibrating… Targeting all American turkeys. | 计算中，锁定全美火鸡 |
| [19:31] | Oh my god, they gave it a voice? | 天啊，竟然还有配音？ |
| [19:33] | Who is this for? We’re in space. | 配给谁听？这里是太空 |
| [19:36] | Jeez, Rick… I guess them? | 天啊，瑞克，给他们听的吧？ |
| [19:37] | Morty, use this carefully. | 莫蒂，这要小心使用 |
| [19:39] | Crack the humanizer core and cut the blue wire. | 把变形核心打开，剪断蓝色电线 |
| [19:41] | You hear me? Blue wire! | 听到没有？蓝色电线 |
| [19:42] | Why don’t we just blow it up? | 什么？干吗不直接炸掉？ |
| [19:43] | It’s a national monument, fucknut! | 这是纪念碑，蠢蛋 |
| [19:44] | We just got pardoned. | 我们才刚被赦免 |
| [19:46] | You really wanna do this again next year? | 你明年还想再重来一次吗？ |
| [19:52] | You forgot something, Turkey Man. | 你忘了一件事，火鸡人 |
| [19:54] | No matter what you got people to believe… | 即使你骗过了其他人 |
| [19:56] | I’m still the goddamn President. | 我还是真正的总统 |
| [19:59] | And you forget, in the one day I’ve had your job… | 你也忘了，我当上总统一天 |
| [20:01] | I’ve learned ten times as much. | 就学到了十倍多的事 |
| [20:04] | – I’ve underestimated you. – For the last time. | －是我小看你了 －不会有下次 |
| [20:13] | Rick, they’re not exactly primary colors! | 瑞克，这些颜色太相近了 |
| [20:15] | Are we cool with like, turquoise? | 蓝绿色可以吗？ |
| [20:17] | Are you kidding me, Morty? Just cut the damn thing! | 有没有搞错，莫蒂？快点剪断 |
| [20:20] | Oh, shit! Oh, fuck! | 靠，干 |
| [20:23] | Targets acquired. Activating weapon. | 已锁定目标，启动武器 |
| [20:26] | Oh, shit! | 靠 |
| [20:29] | Heritage destroyed. | 古迹已遭摧毁 |
| [20:31] | Morty! | 莫蒂 |
| [20:34] | Goddamnit, you had one job! | 该死，我只交代你一件事而已 |
| [20:45] | I beat you! | 我打败你了 |
| [20:46] | Look at me, you turkey ass bitch. | 看着我，你这死火鸡 |
| [20:49] | Wait, why are you… Is that a wishbone? | 等等，你干吗…这是许愿骨吗？ |
| [20:53] | I wish to explode. | 我希望能爆炸 |
| [21:02] | – The Berlin Wall has come down. – It’s called the PlayStation. | －柏林围墙倒了 －这叫PS |
| [21:05] | – The winner is Shakespeare In Love. – PlayStation 2. | －《莎翁情史》获胜 －PS2 |
| [21:08] | Hurricane Katrina slams Louisiana. | 卡崔娜飓风席卷路易斯安那州 |
| [21:10] | – PlayStation 3! – This is Maroon 5. | －PS3 －有请魔力红 |
| [21:11] | – PlayStation 4! – The Cubbies win! | －PS4 －小熊队获胜 |
| [21:13] | I want a PlayStation 5. | 我想要PS5 |
| [21:17] | I wasn’t sure when to pull you out. | 我不确定什么时候该拉你起来 |
| [21:18] | I assumed you were running through your whole life. | 我猜你应该在经历人生跑马灯 |
| [21:21] | Yes. And what a life it was. | 没错，我的人生真精彩 |
| [21:25] | Gentleman, thank you once again for saving this nation. | 各位，感谢你们再次拯救美国 |
| [21:29] | I don’t speak Googa. | 我不会讲你们的语言 |
| [21:31] | The CIA only taught me your activation phrase. | 中情局只有教我讲启动指令 |
| [21:33] | But if I could say anything | 但我如果会讲 |
| [21:34] | I’d say, give America one more chance. | 我会请你们再给美国一次机会 |
| [21:44] | Oh my god, they’re gonna fight, they’re really gonna fight. | 天啊，他们要打起来了，是真的 |
| [21:47] | They love each other! | 他们相亲相爱 |
| [21:49] | – Never gets old. – I’ll never get tired of that. | －真感人 －百看不厌 |
| [21:51] | So, after those aliens discovered America… | 所以那些外星人发现美国之后 |
| [21:53] | They went into hibernation. | 他们就进入长眠了 |
| [21:55] | Leaving us the technology we use to lead the free world. | 把科技交给我们，领导自由世界 |
| [21:58] | That, and also to do stuff like slavery. | 还有蓄奴之类的事 |
| [22:00] | I always thought we were… more special than that. | 我一直以为我们很特别 |
| [22:03] | Like we invented everything and did everything | 我们发明了一切，做了一切 |
| [22:05] | and that’s why we own everything. | 所以我们才拥有一切 |
| [22:06] | Now, I-I don’t know what to feel. | 我现在不知道该作何感想 |
| [22:08] | Feel thankful, Morty. Feel thankful. | 心怀感恩，莫蒂，心怀感恩 |
| [22:44] | I know, baby. | 我知道，宝贝 |
| [22:46] | Coop, honey, should we get Lucky Charms or Kibble Bibbitz? | 库普，要买哪一种早餐麦片？ |
| [22:48] | You know we can’t afford either. | 你知道我们都买不起 |
| [22:50] | Baby, the President owes you. | 宝贝，总统明明欠你人情 |
| [22:52] | You saved him! | 你救了他一命 |
| [22:53] | Ain’t his fault our insurance got cut. | 我们的保险预算被删减不能怪他 |
| [22:55] | They gotta build missiles. | 他们得生产飞弹 |
| [22:56] | Fine, just… Can y’all hold Jakey for a second? | 好吧，你可以抱一下杰克吗？ |
| [23:10] | – What the hell’s he doing? – I think he’s foraging. | －他在干吗？ －他好像在觅食 |
| [23:12] | Crazy bastard thinks he’s a turkey. | 这疯子以为自己是火鸡 |
| [23:14] | Well, I refuse to pay for this man’s healthcare. | 我拒绝帮他出健保费用 |