| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:07] | And in weird things in space news, | 以下这则新闻是关于外太空的怪东西 |
| [00:09] | that mysterious “rift” is still there. | 那个神秘的裂痕还在 |
| [00:11] | Not gone yet. You remember that, don’t you? | 还没消失 大家应该还记得吧 |
| [00:13] | It’s probably important. Back to you, Tabitha. | 这或许很重要 镜头交还给泰碧莎 |
| [00:15] | Rick, Mom’s working, and Dad’s still sleeping. | 瑞克 妈去工作了 爸还在睡 |
| [00:17] | I’m — I’m — I’m gonna be late. | – 我要迟到了 |
| [00:18] | Yeah, yeah. I-I got you. Here. | – 好 交给我吧 来 |
| [00:21] | Holy shit. I-Is the portal gun working again? | 天啊 传送枪修好了吗？ |
| [00:23] | Yeah, pretty much. | 对 差不多 |
| [00:27] | Sometimes that happens. | 有时候会这样 |
| [00:32] | Just get the keys. | 快去拿车钥匙吧 |
| [00:35] | It’s actually been nice taking a break from the portal travel stuff. | 不再一直到处传送其实也还不错 |
| [00:38] | I-I’ve been racking up a lot of high-school adventures. | 我累积了很多高中历险… |
| [00:40] | I have a process, Morty. Huh? | 我有我的程序 莫蒂 |
| [00:42] | I’m fixing my portal gun, | 我在修传送枪了 |
| [00:43] | and every time you bring it up,it blocks my creative flow. | 你每次提起这件事 都会阻碍我发挥创意 |
| [00:46] | A-And then I’m forced to take longer on purpose | 然后我就得被迫刻意慢慢来 |
| [00:48] | just to train you to not bring it up. | 好训练你别提起这件事 |
| [00:49] | Geez. Do you know what “projection” is? | 天啊 你知道”投射”是什么吗？ |
| [00:51] | Do you? | 你知道吗？ |
| [00:52] | No. I-I-I heard Mom use it. | 不知道 我听妈讲过 |
| [00:54] | 哈里赫博森高中 | |
| [00:55] | Lord, no. He’s here again? | 天啊 他又来了？ |
| [00:57] | Morty protocol, children. | 采取莫蒂应变流程 各位 |
| [00:59] | what’s it now? | 这次又怎么样？ |
| [01:00] | Brain bugs? Space worms? | 大脑虫吗？太空虫吗？ |
| [01:02] | Have I been “The Faculty’d” again? | 我又被《老师不是人》了吗？ |
| [01:04] | You guys don’t have to react like this every day. | 你们不需要每天都这样小题大作 |
| [01:06] | Last time, the aliens made me lick all the toilet seats. | 上次外星人还逼我舔所有马桶座 |
| [01:09] | That’s right — made me. | 没错 我是被逼的 |
| [01:10] | I see that look on your faces. | 我看到你的表情了 |
| [01:13] | What did you do, ya tiny monster? | 你做了什么 你这个小怪兽？ |
| [01:15] | This isn’t me. | 这不是我做的 |
| [01:18] | 好莱坞 | |
| [01:24] | The people demand to know — | 大家都很好奇 |
| [01:25] | Do these visitors come in peace? | 这些访客有没有敌意 |
| [01:28] | But first, “Peter’s Pizza Corner.” | 但我们要先进行 “彼得披萨时间” |
| [01:30] | What slice we reviewing today, Petey? | 我们今天要评比什么披萨 彼得？ |
| [01:32] | Cheese. | 奶酪 |
| [01:38] | If these aliens want Earth, | 如果外星人想占领地球 |
| [01:40] | they’ll have to go through Egypt. | 就得先打倒埃及 |
| [01:42] | And they can ask mummies how that goes. | 而且他们可以去问木乃伊下场会怎样 |
| [01:48] | Mummy mia! | 我的木乃伊啊 |
| [01:56] | Dinosaurs are back? | 恐龙回来了？ |
| [01:58] | Monkeys went bald? | 猴子秃了？ |
| [02:38] | Before we start… | 在我们开始致词前 |
| [02:39] | where are the rest of…us? | 请问其他恐龙在哪里？ |
| [02:44] | They died. Uh…Long time ago. | 它们很久之前就死了 |
| [02:46] | Way before us. | 死了很久之后我们才出现 |
| [02:48] | We didn’t see nothin’. | 我们什么都没看到 |
| [02:50] | But surely our ancestors must have left some evidence behind. | 但我们的祖先应该留下了曾经存在的证据 |
| [02:55] | Why is he nervous? | 他在紧张什么？ |
| [02:58] | Because, uh, | 因为‥ |
| [03:00] | you’re dinosaurs. | 你们是恐龙 |
| [03:02] | It’s weird. | 这很奇怪 |
| [03:03] | Thought you were dead. | 我们以为你们死了 |
| [03:06] | Moving on, | 继续 |
| [03:07] | we “dinosaurs” evolved here on Earth | 我们 “恐龙” 在地球上进化到 |
| [03:10] | until our technology was planetarily harmonic. | 我们的科技跟地球达成了和谐状态 |
| [03:13] | That being the goal with technology. | 因为这就是科技的目标 |
| [03:17] | After we achieved perfect balance with Mother Earth, | 在我们跟地球达成了完美平衡后 |
| [03:20] | our best and bravest left to help other planets. | 我们之中最优秀又最英勇的人 就离开去帮助其他星球 |
| [03:22] | Over millions of years, we’ve called many worlds home | 在无数年中 我们去过了许多世界 |
| [03:26] | and helped each one flourish. | 帮助每个世界成长茁壮 |
| [03:27] | Imagine our surprise upon returning home | 所以我们真的感到很意外 竟然在回到家后 |
| [03:29] | to find our species extinct | 发现我们灭绝了 |
| [03:32] | and Earth now in the care of… | 而现在管理地球的是… |
| [03:34] | you guys. | 你们 |
| [03:36] | When we left, you were | 我们离开时 你们跟‥ |
| [03:38] | basically squirrels. | 松鼠差不多 |
| [03:39] | Well, uh, we’ve come a long way, and we — | 我们经历了很多改变 而且‥ |
| [03:42] | We’ve buried a lot more than nuts. | 我们埋藏的东西也不只是坚果 |
| [03:43] | We’ve evolved past nonconstructive criticism, | 我们已进化到不会进行非建设性批评 |
| [03:46] | so let’s agree you’ve done your best. | 所以就当作你们尽力了吧 |
| [03:48] | You’re still alive. | 你们还活着 |
| [03:49] | But surely there was some point between gunpowder | 但在出现火药和‥ |
| [03:52] | and something called Amazon Prime | 亚马逊Prime之间的时间里 |
| [03:54] | that you folks had to think, | 你们一定也曾想过 |
| [03:55] | “Are we supposed to be running a planet? | “我们应该负责主宰星球吗？ |
| [03:57] | Wouldn’t we rather make… Marvel movies?” | 我们是不是宁愿拍漫威电影?” |
| [04:00] | How many Marvel movies have you made? | 你们拍了几部漫威电影？ |
| [04:01] | 29, and 14 more on the way. | 29部 将来还会有14部 |
| [04:03] | See, you love doing that. | 你们喜欢做这件事 |
| [04:05] | And we love helping new life-forms get their footing. | 我们喜欢帮助新的生命形式站稳阵脚 |
| [04:07] | So now that we’re back, we can respectfully take it from here. | 既然我们回来了 就由我们来接手吧 |
| [04:11] | Now, hold on. If you’ve seen “Endgame,” | 等等 你们如果看过《终局之战》 |
| [04:13] | you know invasion is not something Earth takes lying down. | 就知道地球遇到入侵不会乖乖躺平 |
| [04:16] | This is not an invasion. | 这不是入侵 |
| [04:17] | Besides, wouldn’t you like to lie down? | 而且你们不是也想躺平吗？ |
| [04:21] | Ugh. You must be exhausted. | 你们一定很累了 |
| [04:23] | Put your feet up, get more tattoos, | 把脚抬起来休息 去刺更多刺青 |
| [04:25] | finish rounding out this “Ant-Man” character. | 继续发想蚁人这个角色 |
| [04:27] | Think of it like your Earth concept of “vacation,” | 你们可以当成度假 |
| [04:30] | except permanent. | 但永远不会结束 |
| [04:31] | I think I speak for all world leaders | 我应该能代表各国领导人发言 |
| [04:32] | when I say that the poor people would just murder us | 如果我们逼你们走 |
| [04:35] | if we made you leave, so… | 大家会杀了我们 所以‥ |
| [04:38] | welcome home, dinosaurs. | 欢迎回家 恐龙 |
| [04:40] | I could use a vacation. | 我挺想度假的 |
| [04:41] | Should we nuke them? | 要用核弹炸它们吗？ |
| [04:43] | I’m on vacation, Curtis. | 我在度假 克提斯 |
| [04:44] | Well, you leaned into this fast. | 你还真快就松懈了 |
| [04:46] | 恐龙负责所有事 | |
| [04:48] | 祖尼角龙 | |
| [04:51] | 物资不再匮乏 | |
| [04:52] | 冰冠龙 | |
| [04:55] | 斑比盗龙 | |
| [04:58] | 挺足龙 | |
| [05:00] | 霍格华兹龙王龙 | |
| [05:04] | 哥吉拉龙 | |
| [05:08] | 火山齿龙 | |
| [05:10] | 索伦眼龙 | |
| [05:12] | 布万龙 | |
| [05:16] | 这些都是真正的恐龙名 | |
| [05:26] | I can’t even pretend to feel useful in a game. | 我连玩游戏都没办法假装自己有用 |
| [05:28] | This is how humanity’s story ends? | 这就是人类文明的结局吗？ |
| [05:30] | Relieved of duty and sat at the kids’ table? | 卸下责任并坐在小孩桌吗？ |
| [05:32] | I gotta respect these dinosaurs. | 恐龙还真厉害 |
| [05:34] | They dominated a whole species | 它们只靠质疑人类 |
| [05:35] | just by calling its bluff about wanting more free time. | 想要更多闲暇时间的谎言 就打败了全人类 |
| [05:38] | They didn’t even dominate us | 它们根本没有打败我们 |
| [05:39] | because we’re not worth a fight to them. | 因为它们觉得我们不值得一战 |
| [05:40] | We’ve become biological Tyler Perry movies. | 我们简直变成了泰勒派瑞电影 |
| [05:42] | All they’ve done is help. We didn’t need their help. | – 它们只是在帮忙 – 我们不需要它们的帮忙 |
| [05:44] | We were not the problem. This house recycles. | 问题不在于我们 我们家会做资源回收 |
| [05:48] | They sort it at the trash facility. | 垃圾处理厂会做分类 |
| [05:51] | What the “F”? My dance videos are getting, like, zero likes now. | 搞什么？我的跳舞视频都没人按爱心 |
| [05:54] | Oh, yeah. The dinos kicked pedophiles off TikTok. | 没错 恐龙禁止恋童癖使用抖音了 |
| [05:56] | Great. So now I’m broke? | 太好了 所以我要破产了吗？ |
| [05:58] | You don’t need money anymore. | 你已经不需要钱了 |
| [05:59] | So what’s this for now? Phone calls? | 那手机现在要拿来干吗？打电话吗？ |
| [06:02] | Oh, c’mon, Dad. You don’t hate this, too? | 少来了 爸 你不讨厌现况吗？ |
| [06:04] | Why would I? I-I was already doing what I wanted. | 怎么会呢？我本来就在做自己想做的事了 |
| [06:06] | I do think it’s kind of funny | 但我觉得挺好笑的 |
| [06:07] | that you’re all basically Jerry now. | 你们现在都变成杰里了 |
| [06:10] | Fuck. | 该死 |
| [06:12] | Jerry, how do you do it? | 杰里 你都怎么做？ |
| [06:13] | -Yeah, Dad, how do you do it? | 对 爸 你都怎么做？ |
| [06:15] | -How do you do it, Dad? | 你都怎么做 爸？ |
| [06:16] | Huh? How do you do it? | – 你都怎么做？- 你都怎么做？ |
| [06:19] | It’s finally happened. | 这一刻总算来临了 |
| [06:20] | 人生这么苦 | |
| [06:22] | 东西 | |
| [06:23] | 被遗忘的东西 | |
| [06:25] | 熊猫跌倒、蛇穿迷你裙、丑狗 | |
| [06:26] | 删除这个 泰坦尼克号所在地 | |
| [06:30] | 书稿最终版的最终版的最终版 | |
| [06:36] | All right. | 很好 |
| [06:38] | Does anyone know how to mail things to publishers? | 有人知道要怎么寄东西给出版社吗？ |
| [06:42] | Uhp. President only pages me | 总统只有在有急事 |
| [06:43] | if it’s an emergency or he needs Molly. | 或需要摇头丸时才会呼叫我 |
| [06:46] | 阿波碳烤 | |
| [06:50] | I’m sure glad you stayed open, Beau. | 真高兴你还有营业 阿波 |
| [06:52] | Wish we could pay, | 我们也很想付钱 |
| [06:53] | but no more capitalism. | 但资本主义已经结束了 |
| [06:55] | I never make ribs for the money, Mr. President. | 我做肋排从来就不是为了赚钱 总统先生 |
| [06:58] | Oh, um, here ya go. | 对了 拿去 |
| [07:00] | That’s not why I called. | 我不是为了这个打给你的 |
| [07:02] | Drugs can’t solve this problem. | 毒品没办法解决这个问题 |
| [07:03] | I can’t live like this anymore. | 我不能再继续过这种日子了 |
| [07:05] | At first it was fun spending all day | 整天一直看 |
| [07:06] | watching whatever YouTube autoplays after the last one autoplayed, | YouTube自动播放的视频 一开始虽然很有趣 |
| [07:09] | but a man can only watch so many ads for Grammarly. | 但我不想再看到文法检查软件的广告了 |
| [07:12] | Rick. Please. | 瑞克 拜托 |
| [07:13] | You’re not bound by morality. Get rid of them. | 你不受道德拘束 除掉它们吧 |
| [07:15] | Slit their necks. Zero Dark Thirty these fuckers | 割它们的喉咙 把那些混蛋歼灭 |
| [07:18] | for the good of the species. I won’t tell. | 为了我们人类着想 我不会说出去的 |
| [07:20] | Help us go back to the old days, | 帮助我们回到过去那样 |
| [07:21] | where we pretend to fix the problems we caused. | 假装解决我们自己引起的问题 |
| [07:23] | You think I’m gonna side with you | 你以为我会支持你 |
| [07:24] | over hyper-intelligent creatures | 而不是支持超级聪明 |
| [07:25] | operating way beyond your comprehension? | 行为又远远超越 你的理解能力的生物吗？ |
| [07:27] | I have more in common with them than you. | 我跟它们的共同点比跟你还多 |
| [07:29] | You pompous autistic cadaver! | 你这个傲慢的自闭老头 |
| [07:31] | You think you’re above this? I ought to… | 你就那么自视甚高吗？我真该… |
| [07:33] | Look here, Mr. President. | 听着 总统先生 |
| [07:34] | When I need my ribs to be tender and delicious, I pamper them. | 我想让肋排变软嫩美味时 都会好好呵护它们 |
| [07:38] | See, if you give someone what they want, | 你如果把某人想要的东西给他 |
| [07:41] | they’ll give you what you need. | 他就会把你需要的东西给你 |
| [07:43] | I’m jus’ saying. I see your point, Beau. | – 我只是说说而已 – 真有道理 阿波 |
| [07:45] | All right, Rick. Ha ha. Name your price. | 好吧 瑞克 开个价吧 |
| [07:49] | -Aw, crap. | 糟糕 |
| [07:50] | -God damn it. How often are you “Westworld-ing” me? | 该死 你到底多经常用 《西部世界》这招对付我？ |
| [07:52] | Hang on. Rib-tips jammed his folk-chip again. | 等等 肋骨肉又卡住他的晶片了 |
| [07:55] | Ol’ reliable Rick. Always k-knows what to do. | 瑞克真可靠 总是知道该怎么做 |
| [07:59] | What do you want, Rick? I won’t stoop to answering that again. | – 你想要什么 瑞克? – 我不会自降格调 |
| [08:02] | Honest. You know exactly what I want. | 再回答你一次 你很清楚我想要什么 |
| [08:03] | I can’t just snap my fingers and get you that job. | 我没办法弹弹手指 就帮你安排到那个工作 |
| [08:05] | Yeah, yeah. Thanks for lunch. | 好吧 谢谢你请我吃午餐 |
| [08:07] | Fine. Fine! | 好吧 |
| [08:08] | If you get rid of the dinosaurs… | 你如果能除掉恐龙 |
| [08:10] | you can host the Oscars. | 就可以主持奥斯卡奖 |
| [08:11] | Yes! Righteous R-Rick. | – 很好 – 正义的瑞克 |
| [08:13] | Straight shootin’, t-truth-tellin’,never wets the bed. | 诚实守信又从来不尿床 |
| [08:20] | Goodbye, old friends. May you rest in peace, | 再会了 各位老朋友 希望你们能好好安息 |
| [08:23] | rather than the tank of an S.U.V. | 不要进到运动型多用途汽车的油箱里 |
| [08:25] | Hello, fellow cosmic voyagers. | 同为宇宙旅人的各位好 |
| [08:28] | Can we help you? | – 有什么需要帮忙的事吗？ |
| [08:29] | Actually, I can probably help you. | – 其实是我或许能帮到你们 |
| [08:31] | See, I’m technically human, but I’ve come to be more, | 我严格来说是人类 但我已经变成‥ |
| [08:33] | you know, on your level. | 更接近你们的等级了 |
| [08:34] | We’re fine, thank you. | 我们没问题 谢谢 |
| [08:36] | Maybe I’m being too indirect. | 或许我讲得不够直接 |
| [08:37] | I happen to dabble in multiversal travel, | 我正好有稍微涉猎跨宇宙旅行 |
| [08:39] | and I could probably zap you guys to an alternate Earth. | 我或许能把你们传送到另一个地球 |
| [08:42] | We used portal travel eons ago, | 我们无数年前就会使用传送门了 |
| [08:43] | but evolved to a one-universe,one-truth policy as | 但我们发展出了 “单一宇宙 单一真相”的政策 |
| [08:46] | the highest form of existence. | 因为我们是最高级的存在形式 |
| [08:48] | Sort of a “put your own oxygen mask on | 有点类似＂先把自己的氧气罩戴上 |
| [08:50] | before helping others” type of a thing. | 再帮助其他人＂的概念 |
| [08:52] | Have you been on a plane? | 你搭过飞机吗？ |
| [08:54] | Yes, I’ve been on a plane. | 是的 我搭过飞机 |
| [08:56] | We have no problem if you jump dimensions. | 你如果要去其他维度 我们并不介意 |
| [08:58] | Although we sense your gateway device is suboptimal. | 但我们感应到 你的传送装置还有改善空间 |
| [09:01] | Let us help. I don’t need help. | – 让我们协助你吧 – 我不需要协助 |
| [09:03] | I-I’m here to help you. | 我是来协助你们的 |
| [09:05] | What the hell is this? | 这是什么鬼？ |
| [09:06] | A “Portal Pistol.” | 这是传送手枪 |
| [09:08] | The gateways are see-through, not a green swirl, | 传送门会是透明的 不是绿色漩涡 |
| [09:10] | so now you can see where you’re going. | 这样就能看到要去哪里 |
| [09:12] | Clever girl. | 聪明小妞 |
| [09:13] | If you’d like, we could patch up | 如果有需要 我们也能 |
| [09:14] | your little interdimensional rift too. | 帮你填补那个小跨维度裂痕 |
| [09:16] | No, leave it. I know how to close that. | 不 放着就好 我知道怎么补 |
| [09:18] | That’s there for a reason. | 那裂痕有存在的意义 |
| [09:19] | Very canonical. Don’t you just want it closed? | – 很值得深究 – 你不想把那裂痕补起来吗？ |
| [09:21] | Morty, whose team are you on?! | 莫蒂 你是站在哪一边的？ |
| [09:23] | It’s normal to be frustrated. Here. | 会感到挫败很正常 这给你 |
| [09:25] | Oh, my God, are you fucking kidding me? | 天啊 有没有搞错？ |
| [09:27] | Goodbye. No. Wait. | – 再见 – 不 等等 |
| [09:29] | What the fuuuuu… | 搞什么？ |
| [09:32] | Dr. Manhattan high-road assholes teleporting me? Ah! I saw my bones! | 像曼哈顿博士那种自以为是的混蛋 竟然让我瞬间移动？ |
| [09:35] | Why — Why wasn’t that painful? They didn’t even do it right. | – 为什么都不会痛？- 它们根本没处理好 |
| [09:37] | My — My — My fly is down. Your fly was already down. | – 我的拉链开了 – 你的拉链本来就开着 |
| [09:41] | What are you doing with that? | 你要干吗？ |
| [09:42] | Rick, it was a better — Nothing from them is better. | – 瑞克 那台比较… – 它们的东西没有比较好 |
| [09:44] | That thing had uptight Zen snob germs all over it. | 这东西上面 有很多拘谨平静自以为细菌 |
| [09:47] | So, what, now you’re gonna fight them? | 所以你现在要跟它们开战吗？ |
| [09:49] | And prove we’re violent and stupid? | 证明我们又暴力又蠢吗？ |
| [09:50] | No. We’re gonna find out what they’re hiding. | 才不要 我们要查出它们隐瞒的秘密 |
| [09:52] | Only people who have really fucked up in the past | 除非过去做过很糟糕的事 |
| [09:54] | have to virtue signal this hard. Look at Sean Penn. | 才需要这么努力向大家证明自己多有道德 看看西恩潘 |
| [09:57] | But, Rick, aren’t these feelings, like, what they’re talking about? | 瑞克 你这种感受 不就是它们刚刚提到的吗？ |
| [09:59] | Like, life gets, um… | 生命被‥ |
| [10:01] | “programmed for competition by early stages of evolution.” | ＂早期的演化阶段训练成必须竞争 |
| [10:04] | Like, amoebas have to fight amoebas for energy, | 例如变形虫得跟变形虫争夺能量 |
| [10:06] | but once a species can get enough sugar from a machine | 但当一个物种 能从一台机器取得足以让自己 |
| [10:09] | to give itself diabetes, | 得糖尿病的糖分 |
| [10:10] | it’s allowed to start thinking beyond conflict. | 就可以开始思考冲突之上的事＂ |
| [10:12] | I mean, it’s all in their pamphlet. | 它们的手册上都写着 |
| [10:15] | 塔摩卢斯莱特 朗康寇玛、阿尔法桑塔鲁斯 | |
| [10:16] | Morty, you’re a genius. | 莫蒂 你太聪明了 |
| [10:17] | I clearly mean that in the ’90s ironic sense, | 这显然是90年代的讽刺口气 |
| [10:19] | but this self-fellating zine is a treasure map | 但这个自慰手册等同是张藏宝图 |
| [10:22] | to every fossilized bone in their skeleton closet. | 记载了它们所有见不得人的秘密 |
| [10:24] | They’re gonna call us Laura Dern | 它们得叫我们劳拉邓恩了 |
| [10:26] | because we’re about to get elbow deep in dino doo-doo. | 因为我们会深入挖掘它们的恐龙秘密 |
| [10:29] | Get it, Morty? The gloves? | 懂吗 莫蒂？手套 |
| [10:30] | You — You remember the big gloves? Yeah, no, I get it, Rick. | – 你一定还记得大手套 – 对 我懂 瑞克 |
| [10:32] | I said “clever girl” earlier. | 我刚刚说了 “聪明小妞” |
| [10:34] | You didn’t even react. I was angry. | – 你完全没有反应 – 我刚刚在生气 |
| [10:43] | I’m looking for a few of my, uh, friends. | 我在找我的一群朋友 |
| [10:46] | Kinda look like the Skullfeet | 看起来有点像颅脚 |
| [10:47] | that used to live on our planet way before us. | 它们很久以前曾经住在这个星球上 |
| [10:49] | They’re long gone now. | 但已经消失很久了 |
| [10:51] | Really? They’re extinct here, too? | 真的吗？它们在这里也灭绝了吗？ |
| [10:53] | Yeah. We keep their bones in that museum over there. | 对 我们把它们的骨头 收藏在那间博物馆里面 |
| [10:56] | wow. | 天啊 |
| [10:58] | These guys aren’t gonna be much help. | 它们应该帮不上什么忙 |
| [10:59] | The leading theory is, the Skullfeet | 我们目前的理论是颅脚 |
| [11:01] | stepped on their own brains so much they straight-up died. | 总是踩到自己的大脑 所以就死掉了 |
| [11:04] | Such a shame. Would have loved to hear them sing. | 真可惜 真想听听它们的歌声 |
| [11:06] | Sing? Yeah. | – 歌声？- 对 我们认为 |
| [11:08] | We figured they used to hold huge outdoor concerts | 它们之前会在地下圆形剧场里 |
| [11:09] | in their land amphitheater. | 举办大型户外演唱会 |
| [11:10] | You people are idiots. Hey. | 你们真蠢 |
| [11:12] | We didn’t have much to go by. | 喂 我们能取得的资料比较少 |
| [11:13] | Bones aren’t big on conversation. | 骨头不太会讲话 |
| [11:14] | Yeah, neither are you, pal. | 对 你也不太会 兄弟 |
| [11:17] | The majestic Basketsaur. | 雄伟的篮龙 |
| [11:19] | Aren’t they incredible? | 它们是不是很棒？ |
| [11:20] | We’re even making a series of increasingly terrible movies | 我们还要拍一系列越来越难看的电影 |
| [11:23] | about cloning them in a theme park. | 讲在游乐园里复制它们的故事 |
| [11:25] | So what happened to them? | 它们后来发生了什么事？ |
| [11:26] | No idea. | 我们完全不知道 |
| [11:27] | But we do know they all loved eating communal soup | 但我们知道它们很喜欢 |
| [11:30] | out of the Great Dirt Bowl. | 喝大土碗里面的大锅汤 |
| [11:31] | Starting to see a pattern here. | 我开始看出相似之处了 |
| [11:34] | Breathtaking, aren’t they? | 是不是很震撼？ |
| [11:36] | It’s a common misconception that they roamed our planet. | 大家常误以为 它们曾在我们的星球上到处跑 |
| [11:39] | The truth is, they rolled. | 但它们其实是到处滑滑板 |
| [11:40] | Street-style mostly. Some vert. | 主要是街头滑板 也有一点垂直滑板 |
| [11:43] | Lemme guess.There’s a very large, deep circular indentation | 我猜猜看 有个很大又很深的圆形凹洞 |
| [11:46] | in which these “Grindasaurs” used to shred. | 这些滑龙会在里面滑滑板 |
| [11:49] | We think they had a second brain in their butt | 我们认为它们的屁股里有第二个大脑 |
| [11:51] | dedicated to pulling 1080s. | 用途是专门做转体1080度 |
| [11:53] | Three planets visited by dinosaurs, three apocalyptic meteor impacts. | 恐龙造访过的三个星球 都发生了末日陨石事件 |
| [11:57] | Gi– Gi– Gimme the board. I’m dropping in for data. | 滑板给我 我要下去采集数据 |
| [12:01] | Rick! That’s the hardest thing in skateboarding. Oh! Ow! | 瑞克 这是最难的滑板动作 |
| [12:03] | It looked so easy on — aah — “Pro Skater 3.” | 在《职业滑板3》里看起来很简单 |
| [12:08] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [12:12] | Jackpot, Morty. | 中大奖了 莫蒂 |
| [12:13] | You still think the dinosaurs got something to hide? | 你还觉得恐龙隐瞒了什么秘密吗？ |
| [12:15] | No, Morty, they have a reason to hide. | 不对 莫蒂 它们有躲起来的理由 |
| [12:18] | Come here, ya little whippersnapper. No, Rick, stop! | – 过来 傲慢的小鬼 – 不 瑞克 住手 |
| [12:20] | C’mere, Morty. Come on, gimme a hug. No, don’t touch me. | – 过来 莫蒂 过来跟我抱一下 – 不 别碰我 |
| [12:21] | Your hands are greasy. What’s the matter with you? | – 你的手很油 – 你是怎么了？ |
| [12:23] | It’s become clear your species is having a hard time | 人类显然很难适应 |
| [12:26] | adjusting to its reduced accountability. | 减轻责任后的生活 |
| [12:29] | Our solution is to hold these regular keynotes, | 我们的解决办法是 定期举办这些简报会 |
| [12:32] | or talks,which you used to launch new phones and religions. | 或是座谈会 你们用来发表新手机和传教的那种 |
| [12:36] | Uhp, I see someone’s eager to speak. | 好像有人想发言 |
| [12:38] | Hi. Um, what do you do when you want to kill yourself? | 嗨 请问想自杀该怎么办？ |
| [12:41] | You don’t do that. Thank you for asking, though. | 就不要自杀 感谢你的提问 |
| [12:44] | Ver– Very important. | 这非常重要 |
| [12:45] | We recently discovered a new piece of human literature | 我们最近发现了 一部新的人类文学作品 |
| [12:48] | that we think everyone should read. | 我们认为大家都该阅读 |
| [12:50] | Holy shit! I’m a famous author! | 该死 我要变知名作家了 |
| [12:53] | Wait, where’s my name? | 等等 我的名字呢？ |
| [12:55] | We will distribute it to everyone on Earth tomorrow. | 我们明天会发给地球上的所有人 |
| [12:58] | Excuse me. Aren’t you gonna say who wrote it? | 不好意思 你们不公布作者是谁吗？ |
| [13:01] | Nope. Whoever wrote it must be above needing credit. | 不 写出这本书的人 一定已经不需要功名了 |
| [13:04] | It’s all here in this book that belongs to everyone. | 重点就在这本属于所有人的书之中 |
| [13:06] | For free. | 可以免费索取 |
| [13:08] | You Communist lizard scumbags! I wrote that. | 你们这群共产蜥蜴废物 那是我写的 |
| [13:11] | Me, Jerry Smith! | 是我 杰里史密斯 |
| [13:15] | Hey, hey, hey! | 大家好 |
| [13:16] | 尖叫声 | |
| [13:23] | Guess what. Dinosaurs are not secretly evil, | 听好了 我发现恐龙并不邪恶 |
| [13:26] | and they’re not out to cause anybody trouble, | 也不是来造成大家困扰的 |
| [13:28] | but it turns out trouble has a way of following them. | 但它们总是会惹来麻烦 |
| [13:32] | Oh, yes, yes, yes. It’s showtime. | 没错 好戏要上场了 |
| [13:34] | Literally every planet with dinosaurs on it | 恐龙待过的每一个星球 |
| [13:36] | is eventually smashed by a huge space rock | 最终都会被巨大的太空石头袭击 |
| [13:39] | that takes out them and most existing life. | 消灭它们和大部分的生物 |
| [13:41] | What? That can’t be true. | 什么？不可能 |
| [13:43] | It’s all right to be frustrated. Let me explain. | 你会感到挫败很正常 请听我解释 |
| [13:45] | Why would planet-killing meteors follow dinosaurs? | 恐龙为什么总会引来 会摧毁行星的陨石呢？ |
| [13:48] | As these reptiles evolved to higher | 这些爬行动物在进化成 |
| [13:50] | and higher levels of loving vegan godhood, | 越来越高层次的全素神仙时 |
| [13:53] | another life-form devolved into an equally selfless, | 另一种生物就会退化成同样无私 |
| [13:55] | hate-filled species of barely sentient rocks. | 却充满恨意 又几乎没有感情的石头 |
| [13:59] | They hurtle through space and do as much damage | 它们会在太空中猛冲 尽力对它们 |
| [14:01] | as they can to their chosen enemy, which is guess who. | 所选的敌人造成伤害 请各位猜猜看是谁 |
| [14:04] | Yup, everywhere these dinos go,these rocks, they come a-crashing. | 没错 这些恐龙去过的地方 陨石都会随之而来 |
| [14:07] | And this one… | 而这颗陨石‥ |
| [14:10] | …is headed directly towards us. | 现在就正朝着我们前进 |
| [14:13] | And all of our work? | 我们的一切努力呢？ |
| [14:14] | It was for… Nothing. Bingo. | – 全都‥ – 白费了 没错 |
| [14:17] | Welcome to life. It’s a big boat with a lot of holes, | 这就是人生 这是一艘破了很多洞的大船 |
| [14:19] | but we’re all in it together. | 但大家都在同一艘船上 |
| [14:20] | -Oh, my. -Ohhhhh. | 我的‥ |
| [14:22] | So much death. | 好多死亡 |
| [14:24] | Congratulations, primates. | 恭喜各位灵长类动物 |
| [14:25] | Looks like Earth could have done worse. | 看来地球还能变得更糟 |
| [14:28] | Rick out. Oh. | 瑞克下台一鞠躬 |
| [14:29] | And don’t forget to tune in to this year’s Oscars. | 别忘了锁定今年的奥斯卡奖 |
| [14:33] | Well, this is a — a lot to take in. | 这件事非常难以消化 |
| [14:38] | I like trains now. | 我现在喜欢火车了 |
| [14:40] | Okay, that hurt. | 好吧 真伤人 |
| [14:42] | Trains rule! Dinos drool! | 火车好棒棒 恐龙好烂烂 |
| [14:46] | And you had no idea about the disastrous meteors | 你们完全不知道有致灾陨石 |
| [14:49] | that followed in your wake? | 会随你们而来吗？ |
| [14:50] | We just learned about it like you. | 我们是跟你们同时得知的 |
| [14:52] | Truly heartbreaking news. | 这消息真令人悲痛 |
| [14:53] | But I assume you’re gonna destroy it when it arrives here, right? | 但你们应该会在 陨石抵达时摧毁它吧？ |
| [14:57] | we’re in the process of finding a solution | 我们目前正在努力寻找 |
| [15:00] | that, um, doesn’t involve violence. | 不需动用暴力的解决方法 |
| [15:02] | Hold on. You’re in the process?! | 等等 你们还没找到？ |
| [15:05] | 安德区 | |
| [15:06] | Well, there you have it, Cooperheads. | 你们也听到了 各位古柏粉 |
| [15:07] | An angry species of rock is gonna slam into our –sorry — their planet, | 有一种愤怒的石头正要砸到 我们的… 抱歉 它们的星球 |
| [15:11] | and our new planet runners | 我们新的星球主宰者 |
| [15:13] | are weighing whether to let it happen. | 还在考虑要不要让这件事发生 |
| [15:16] | I mean, no one knows if the meteor species is even real. | 根本没人知道 这个陨石物种是不是真的存在 |
| [15:20] | No. It’s very real. We all know that. | 不对 确实是真的 大家都知道 |
| [15:22] | You know what’s real? A rear naked choke hold. | 你们知道什么才是真的吗？裸绞 |
| [15:25] | I’ll show you -Hmm? -What? | – 我来示范 – 什么？ |
| [15:27] | Final question — How we doing? | 我最后要问的问题是 我们还好吗？ |
| [15:31] | We have come to the conclusion | 我们得出的结论是 |
| [15:33] | the only way to ensure humanity will be safe is for us to go. | 唯一能确保人类安全的办法 就是我们得离开地球 |
| [15:37] | We are leaving the planet for good. | 我们会永远离开地球 |
| [15:41] | 埃克森漏油 | |
| [15:44] | 车诺比爆炸 | |
| [15:46] | 蒙大拿州的石棉 | |
| [15:48] | 大西洋城 | |
| [15:49] | 第二型糖尿病 | |
| [15:52] | 深水钻油平台爆炸 | |
| [15:57] | 巨大垃圾岛 | |
| [16:00] | 所有蜜蜂都要死了 | |
| [16:03] | 去死吧 恐龙 | |
| [16:13] | Maybe it’s the Molly, but I fucking love you, Rick. | 或许是摇头丸药效使然 但我真的好爱你 瑞克 |
| [16:17] | It’s the Molly. | 一定是摇头丸 |
| [16:18] | Isn’t this nice? | 这样是不是很棒？ |
| [16:19] | Rivalries behind us, dinos gone, | 我们不再彼此敌对 恐龙也走了 |
| [16:22] | two cool guys living in the moment. | 我们是活在当下的两个酷人 |
| [16:24] | So, uh, like, uh you know what you’re gonna wear? Because — | 所以‥你想好要穿什么了吗？因为‥ |
| [16:28] | I can’t get another plus-one. What?! | – 你不能多带一个人来 – 什么？ |
| [16:29] | I’m the one who got you the gig, you son of a bitch! | 是我帮你安排这份工作的 混蛋 |
| [16:31] | I feel this napkin — | 我摸摸这个餐巾.. |
| [16:33] | Feel this napkin. | 摸摸这个餐巾 |
| [16:34] | So soft. | 真软 |
| [16:37] | This is the 95th annual Academy Awards. | 欢迎收看第95届奥斯卡颁奖典礼 |
| [16:41] | Now, please welcome your host, | 请各位一同欢迎主持人 |
| [16:43] | an old science guy who got rid of the dinosaurs… | 赶走了所有恐龙的这位老科学家 |
| [16:46] | Rick Sanchez. | 瑞克桑切斯 |
| [16:51] | Suck my gray tits Hollywood pinkos. | 舔我的灰奶子 好莱坞左胶 |
| [16:54] | Where’s the mic? | 麦克风在哪里？ |
| [16:55] | The — The — The raising mic? | 升降麦克风呢？ |
| [16:58] | Bring it up! | 快升上来 |
| [17:03] | Tommy. | 小汤 |
| [17:04] | Tom Hanks is here. | 汤姆汉克斯也来了 |
| [17:07] | C’mon. Do it. | 快点 来吧 |
| [17:09] | Come on. | 快点 |
| [17:11] | Do ittttt. | 来吧 |
| [17:12] | Okay, okay, one time. | 好吧就一次 |
| [17:15] | “Wilson!” | 威尔森 |
| [17:19] | I’m Oscar host Rick. | 我是奥斯卡主持人瑞克 |
| [17:23] | Grandpa Rick, this is so cool. | 瑞克外公 这真是太酷了 |
| [17:25] | That microphone bit killed. Yeah, told you it would. | – 那个麦克风桥段效果很好 – 我就说效果会很好 |
| [17:27] | That was all scripted? | – 全部都是事先编好的吗？ |
| [17:29] | Every moment at the Oscars is. | – 奥斯卡的每个瞬间都是 |
| [17:30] | Even that one thing. -Ha ha! | 就连那个瞬间也是 |
| [17:32] | Look who stole themselves a swag bag. | 看看谁偷到了礼品袋？ |
| [17:34] | -Ah, fucking Sprinkles coupon! -We’re splitting that. | – 该死的巧克力米优惠券 – 我们得分着用 |
| [17:36] | Hey, so I was thinking it might be funny | 我觉得如果在追思桥段里面 |
| [17:38] | to add dinosaurs to the “In Memoriam.” | 加入恐龙应该会很好笑 |
| [17:40] | Eh, it feels beneath us. | 我觉得这样格调有点低 |
| [17:42] | It’s funnier that they left and we don’t even care. | 我们完全不在乎它们走了比较好笑 |
| [17:44] | Oh, yeah, they left, but they keep begging for attention. | 没错 它们虽然走了 但还是一直博取关注 |
| [17:47] | You haven’t heard? | 你们没听说吗？ |
| [17:48] | The dinos are just standing up there on Mars | 恐龙就站在火星上 |
| [17:49] | with their dicks in their hands. So dramatic. | 手握着老二 真爱小题大作 |
| [17:52] | What, they’re just gonna let the meteor hit them a-and die? | 什么？它们打算乖乖被陨石砸死吗？ |
| [17:55] | Good. If being superior to everyone makes you die, | 很好 如果高所有人一等就得死 |
| [17:58] | I call that balance. | 我认为这才叫平衡 |
| [17:59] | It’s all in my globally published book | 我那本全球畅销的书里有写 |
| [18:02] | the dinos stripped my name from! | 但恐龙抹去了我的名字 |
| [18:06] | Oscars are over. | 奥斯卡就到此结束 |
| [18:07] | Where are my keys? | 我的钥匙呢？ |
| [18:08] | God damn it, I need to fix portal travel. | 该死 我真的得把传送枪修好 |
| [18:11] | And — And I’m going to. I have a process. | 我会修好的 我有我的程序 |
| [18:16] | Our final act of kindness. | 我们最后的良善之举 |
| [18:17] | It’s been an honor serving the sanctity of life | 能跟你们一起彰显生命的尊严 |
| [18:20] | with you all. | 是我的荣幸 |
| [18:29] | Rick, what are you doing? | 瑞克 你在干吗？ |
| [18:30] | Standing here with you guys. | 我要跟你们一起站在这里 |
| [18:31] | You don’t want to do that. We’re sacrificing ourselves here. | 最好不要 我们是要牺牲自我 |
| [18:34] | Then so am I. Y’know? | 那我也要 懂吗？ |
| [18:36] | Elon Musk be damned, we’re blowing up Mars. | 埃隆马斯克要倒霉了 我们要把火星炸掉了 |
| [18:38] | No. We’re doing something selfless. | 不对 我们这是无私之举 |
| [18:40] | You’re doing it out of pettiness. | 你这是卑鄙之举 |
| [18:42] | How is anyone supposed to know the difference? | 谁能分辨得出来呢？ |
| [18:44] | Consider it a game of virtue chicken. | 就把这当作美德试胆比赛吧 |
| [18:51] | Okay, if you won’t go, we’ll make you go. | 好吧 你如果不走 我们就逼你走 |
| [18:55] | Sorry. I-I dino-proofed my tech to spite you guys. | 抱歉 我研发出了抗恐龙科技来对抗你们 |
| [18:58] | Which further proves selflessness and selfishness | 这也证明了无私和自私 |
| [19:00] | are two sides of the same coin, so what’s the point? | 其实是一体两面 所以这一切有什么意义？ |
| [19:12] | Fine. Cool with me | 好吧 你们的结局 |
| [19:13] | that your final chapteris dying on Mars with an old dickhead. | 如果是在火星上跟个老混蛋一起死掉 我也完全不介意 |
| [19:22] | All right! Welcome back. | 很好 欢迎回来 |
| [19:23] | You obnoxious little twat! | 你这讨人厌的小混蛋 |
| [19:25] | Yeah, but you’re alive. | 对 但你还活着 |
| [19:26] | No David Foster Wallace-ing in my galaxy. | 别想在我的星系 搞大卫福斯特华莱士那套 |
| [19:29] | You don’t get to be so smart | 你们不能聪明到 |
| [19:30] | that you remove yourself from everybody. | 决定让自己离开其他人 |
| [19:32] | From one god being to another, you’re welcome. | 毕竟我们都是神仙 不客气 |
| [19:34] | Well, as long as we’re doing each other favors… | 既然我们要帮彼此忙的话… |
| [19:39] | Hey. Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing? | 嘿 等等你们要干吗？ |
| [19:45] | You fixed my rift? You fucking hypocritical cocks. | 你们修好了我的裂痕？你们这群伪善的混蛋 |
| [19:47] | I-It was all canonical and shit. | 那个裂痕很值得深究 |
| [19:49] | We coulda milked that thing for a whole season. | 我们可以利用那裂痕一整季 |
| [19:51] | O-Or, like, a three-episode arc at least. | 至少也可以拿来写三集的剧情 |
| [19:54] | Sorry. That’s just us. | 抱歉 我们就是这种人 |
| [19:55] | We love helping, god beings to god being. | 我们乐于助人 毕竟我们都是神仙 |
| [19:59] | Seriously. I was gonna fix that. | 真是的 我本来会修好的 |
| [20:06] | Shit. They’re coming back. | 该死 它们要回来了 |
| [20:08] | Can we turn on the A.C.? It’s, like, a thousand degrees outside. | 可以开冷气吗？外面感觉就像上千度一样 |
| [20:13] | Yes! New follower.Named… | 很好 有新的粉丝 叫‥ |
| [20:15] | CryptoForBareToes? | ＂加密货币换脚趾照＂ |
| [20:17] | Not sure I get it, but sounds like business. | 我不太懂 但感觉是赚钱的好机会 |
| [20:19] | Proud of you, honey. Is Dad okay? | – 我真以你为荣 宝贝 – 爸还好吗？ |
| [20:21] | Yes. I’m just… writing my second book. | 我很好 我只是在写我的第二本书 |
| [20:24] | I don’t know what it’s gonna be about, | 我还不确定要写什么主题 |
| [20:26] | but I can tell you one thing — The title is | 但我能确定书名一定是 |
| [20:28] | “Jerry Smith Presents: A Book by Jerry Smith.” | 《杰里史密斯呈献 杰里史密斯所著之书》 |
| [20:32] | Chapter one… | 第一章 |
| [20:37] | Fuck! | 该死 |
| [20:40] | Morty, get your ass in the garage! | 莫蒂 快来车库 |
| [20:47] | Hoo-ha! Check it out. A — A dimension where hats wear people. | 好耶 请看 这是帽子戴人的维度 |
| [20:52] | I did it! I fixed portal travel. | 我办到了 我修好传送枪了 |
| [20:55] | Oh, shit. Figured my guy deserves a vacation. | – 太棒了 – 你应该好好度个假 |
| [20:57] | Boob World! You’re damn right. | – 胸部星球 – 没错 |
| [20:59] | And it’s Areola Week. All right! | – 而且这星期是乳晕周 – 太棒了 |
| [21:01] | Good old-fashioned portal fun. | 经典的有趣传送历险 |
| [21:03] | Yep. Like this. | 没错 就像这样 |
| [21:05] | It’s gonna be classic episodes, Morty. | 接下来这几集一定会很经典 莫蒂 |
| [21:07] | Oh, I’m gonna puke, Rick! Portaling in. | 传送到某处搞破坏 瑞克 |
| [21:08] | Wrecking shit, portaling out, Morty. | 再传送离开 莫蒂 |
| [21:10] | Oh, my Go– Adventures, Morty. Social commentary. | 天啊 历险 莫蒂 社会评论 |
| [21:13] | Crude characters. Here we go. | 粗鄙的角色 来吧 |
| [21:15] | Rick and Morty time! | 《瑞克和莫蒂》时间 |
| [21:48] | This is our home now. | 这里现在就是我们的家了 |
| [21:50] | We shall live out the rest of our days here. | 我们就在这里度过余生 |
| [21:52] | Never interfering with the ways of the universe again. | 别再插手改变宇宙的秩序 |
| [21:55] | We are content. | 我们已经满足了 |
| [21:57] | It was a good run. | 我们这一生过得很值得 |
| [21:58] | Speaking of a good run… | 说到这个 |
| [22:00] | I bet I could switch heel onto that manny pad, | 我一定能脚跟翻板上那个跳台 然后大转 |
| [22:02] | big spinout, tre flip that gap, 5-0 the rail, drop into the bowl, | 360度翻板过那个空隙 在扶手上翘板 滑进盆里 |
| [22:05] | stalefish into a Christ Air, and then we get fucking wrecked. | 再后手后抓 把板子拿到手上 然后再大玩特玩 |
| [22:07] | Ho-ho. It’s on, Iguanadon. | 放马来吧 禽龙 |
| [22:09] | 摩擦石头 | |
| [22:10] | 反脚倒滑 右脚在前滑行 脚尖翻板 搞定菜鸟 | |
| [22:15] | 但你是坏坏小恐龙 | |
| [22:18] | 在陨石坑里搞怪 一起放声尖叫 | |
| [22:22] | 待续 | |
| [22:23] | 谢谢观赏 | |
| [22:25] | 纪念麦克孟德尔 |