| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:07] | Yay! | －好耶 －好耶 |
| [00:09] | Wait, what’s that? | 等等 那是什么？ |
| [00:10] | Do I hear something coming down the chimney? | 我听到有东西从烟囱下来的声音吗？ |
| [00:15] | Rick Santa-chez here with gifts from across the multiverse! | 瑞克·桑切斯圣诞老人 带了来自多元宇宙的礼物 |
| [00:18] | -Yes. -Oh my god. | －我的天啊 －好耶 |
| [00:19] | For Jerry, an extradimensional version of Miracle on 34th Street. | 给杰瑞的是 超次元版本的《34街的奇迹》 |
| [00:23] | Two hours longer! | 两小时加长版！ |
| [00:24] | They fixed my only problem with it! | 他们修正了我唯一不满的地方 |
| [00:26] | For Beth, a framed photo of the two of us | 给贝丝的是一张我们两个的裱框照片 |
| [00:28] | from a universe where she wasn’t murdered as a child. | 在这个宇宙 她在孩童时期没被谋杀 |
| [00:31] | Oh my God. Dad. | 我的天啊 爸 |
| [00:32] | And for Space Beth, the same thing | 给太空贝丝的礼物也一样 |
| [00:34] | because we, we don’t know which of you is real. | 因为我们不知道你们谁才是真的 |
| [00:36] | I am also touched. | 我也很感动 |
| [00:38] | Summer, ch-check your Venmo. | 夏茉 看一下你的移动支付 |
| [00:40] | -Money? How did you know? | 钱？你怎么知道？ |
| [00:42] | -You’re seventeen. | 因为你17岁 |
| [00:44] | And last but not least, | 最后 |
| [00:45] | for my number one number two. | 给我的最得力助手的礼物 |
| [00:46] | Morty you asked for this a long, long time ago and I finally went | 莫蒂 你很久以前就想要这个 |
| [00:48] | far, far away enough to get it | 我终于跑到超远的地方买到了 |
| [00:51] | since shipping would have killed me. | 因为运费贵死了 |
| [00:52] | You didn’t! No fucking way. | 真的吗？不会吧 |
| [00:55] | -No fucking way. -No fucking way. | －不会吧 －不会吧 |
| [00:56] | -Does it make the noises? | 它会发出声音吗？ |
| [00:57] | -Of course it makes the noises. | 当然会 |
| [00:58] | -that’s like half the fun. | 那是最好玩的部分 |
| [01:00] | -Awesome! | 太棒了 |
| [01:01] | Do not turn that on! | 不要打开它 |
| [01:02] | Don’t worry. Morty’s only | 别担心 莫蒂只会在 |
| [01:04] | going to use this very honorable weapon | 指定的绝地区域 |
| [01:05] | in designated Jedi zones | 使用这个高尚的武器 |
| [01:06] | like the garage right now. | 像是车库 走吧 |
| [01:13] | Holy crap. | 天啊 |
| [01:14] | I hate to say it | 我不想这么说 |
| [01:15] | but I wish there was something to attack. | 但我希望能攻击某样东西 |
| [01:17] | Yeah it’s too bad nobody bought a cart a fruit! | 对 可惜没有人买了 一整个推车的水果 |
| [01:19] | You beautiful son of a bitch! | 你这个美丽的混蛋 |
| [01:21] | Grapefruit! Mango! Papaya! | 葡萄柚、芒果、木瓜 |
| [01:24] | Watermelon! A second papaya! | 西瓜、第二颗木瓜 |
| [01:25] | Another watermelon! Strike me down. | 另一颗西瓜 打倒我吧 |
| [01:27] | – What? -Strike me down. | －什么？ －打倒我 |
| [01:28] | -I’m not striking you down. | 我才不要打倒你 |
| [01:30] | Strike me down Morty! | 打倒我 莫蒂 |
| [01:31] | I’ll, I’ll become a pile of clothes | 我会只剩下一堆衣服 |
| [01:32] | like that old guy! | 像那个老头一样 |
| [01:33] | But you’ll die, you’re drunk. | 但你会死的 你喝醉了 |
| [01:35] | -Here, I’ll, I’ll do it myself. -No! | －好吧 我自己来 －不 |
| [01:39] | Wow, you did it! | 天啊 你做到了 |
| [01:40] | Just like Obi Wan. | 就像欧比旺一样 |
| [01:41] | Rick? You can come out now. | 瑞克？你可以出来了 |
| [01:44] | I’m serious. | 我是认真的 |
| [01:45] | Did you like, become your clothes? | 你真的只剩下衣服了吗？ |
| [01:46] | Are you T-shirt Rick now? | 你现在是Ｔ恤瑞克了吗？ |
| [01:48] | Over here, buttfart. | 看这里 屁孩 |
| [01:49] | -That was awesome! -Right? | －太酷了 －对吧？ |
| [01:52] | Rick, you know you’ve been so great the last couple months, | 瑞克 过去几个月你真的很棒 |
| [01:54] | the family’s so happy, | 全家人都很开心 |
| [01:55] | I’m really grateful. | 我真的很感激你 |
| [01:57] | Thanks kid, | 谢了 孩子 |
| [01:58] | but less talk more melon slaying! | 但少说话 多砍瓜 |
| [01:59] | Heads up! | 注意咯 |
| [02:06] | -Oh shit shit shit. Open it, Rick! | 该死…快开门 瑞克 |
| [02:07] | -Let me do it! Get up, get fucking move! | 让我来 起来 滚开 |
| [02:09] | Hurry! Hurry! | 快点 |
| [02:11] | You dropped it perfectly vertical, Morty! | 你居然垂直地把它掉在地上 莫蒂 |
| [02:13] | Perfectly fucking vertical! | 完美地垂直 |
| [02:15] | -I got it, I got it -Ah, shi… | 我拿到了… |
| [02:19] | -Shit. -Elevator! Elevator! | －该死 －快进电梯… |
| [02:20] | -We gotta get ahead of it! Level ten? | 我们得抢在它前面10楼？ |
| [02:22] | -No no no, fifteen! | 不…15楼 |
| [02:29] | Wait, we live over a cool sushi spot? | 等等 我们住在很酷的寿司店上面？ |
| [02:31] | -Irasshaimase! -Domo. Domo. | －欢迎光临 －你好… |
| [02:33] | Not now though. | 现在别管这个 |
| [02:34] | Okay, we overshot it. | 好 我们抢先它太多了 |
| [02:35] | Good problem to have. | 但这样也好 |
| [02:36] | Still doing the eel roll? | 你还有在做鳗鱼卷吗？ |
| [02:38] | -I told you we shoulda gone to ten! | 我就说应该去10楼 |
| [02:39] | -No, Morty, not ten! | 不 莫蒂 不能到10楼 |
| [02:41] | Morty, wait, wait, wait! | 莫蒂 等等… |
| [02:45] | What the fuck? | 搞什么鬼？ |
| [02:48] | -Rick? | 瑞克 |
| [02:49] | You dumb fucking robot. You had one job! | 你这该死的蠢机器人 你只有一项任务！ |
| [02:52] | Hey, that job is to be a good Grandpa, | 那项任务就是当个好外公 |
| [02:54] | -I go where the kid goes. -Don’t touch me! | －我一直跟着这个孩子 －别碰我 |
| [02:56] | How long have I… You said you weren’t a robot! | 你骗我多久了？你说你不是机器人 |
| [02:58] | It killed me to lie to you, Morty! | 欺骗你会让我痛不欲生 莫蒂 |
| [03:00] | But it would have literally killed me not to lie to you. | 但不欺骗你我就会真的死掉 |
| [03:02] | Betrayal! Betrayal on all sides! | 背叛 我完全被背叛了 |
| [03:04] | Don’t overreact, Morty. | 别反应过度 莫蒂 |
| [03:05] | I replaced myself towards the beginning of that | 我在太阳骑士事件初期 |
| [03:07] | whole Knights of the Sun thing. | 就用它替代我了 |
| [03:09] | I’m no good to anybody until I resolve this arch nemesis crap. | 在我解决我的宿敌之前 我帮不了任何人 |
| [03:12] | You’re still hunting the guy who killed your wife? | 你还在追捕杀死你妻子的人？ |
| [03:14] | You don’t have to rub it in, Morty, | 别在伤口上洒盐了 莫蒂 |
| [03:15] | that’s why I removed myself. | 所以我才避不见面 |
| [03:17] | I’ve become the thing I hate. | 我变成了我最恨的东西 |
| [03:19] | It’s like a Netflix drama down here, | 这里就像网飞剧情片一样 |
| [03:20] | and I don’t mean an accidentally good one, | 我指的不是出乎意料的好片 |
| [03:22] | I mean a regular-ass Netflix drama. | 而是很普通的网飞剧情片 |
| [03:24] | I did you a favor. | 我算是帮了你一个忙 |
| [03:29] | You gave him a fuckin’ lightsaber for Christmas? | 你送他一把光剑当圣诞礼物？ |
| [03:32] | It’s almost like someone designed me to be twenty-two percent | 因为有人把我设计成一个 |
| [03:34] | more thoughtful than you. | 比你体贴22％的人 |
| [03:35] | Alright, that’s it, I’m shutting you down | 好 够了 我要把你关掉 |
| [03:37] | Don’t you dare. You’ve done enough. | 不准 你做得够多了 |
| [03:38] | The whole family, Rick. | 瑞克 全家人… |
| [03:40] | -Everybody loves this thing. | 大家都爱这玩意 |
| [03:42] | Oh, good. By the way, your lightsaber’s | 很好 对了 你的光剑 |
| [03:44] | probably run out of sub-basement by now, so, congrats. | 可能已经掉出地下室了 所以恭喜你 |
| [03:46] | Unbelievable. | 难以置信 |
| [03:49] | I can’t believe you tricked us into loving you! | 我不敢相信你骗我们爱上你 |
| [03:51] | Not because I like it, because it’s my job! | 我也不乐意啊 但这是我的工作 |
| [03:53] | But thank god I don’t have to do it anymore. | 谢天谢地 我不用再继续了 |
| [03:55] | The fuck you don’t. It’s Christmas! | 才怪 圣诞节到了 |
| [03:57] | Get up there and trick everyone into loving you more! | 你得上去欺骗大家 让他们更爱你 |
| [04:00] | Let’s get our miracle on. | 展现奇迹的时候到了 |
| [04:03] | -Speaking of miracles. | 说到奇迹… |
| [04:04] | -What, bored of your toy already? | 怎么？已经厌倦你的玩具了？ |
| [04:06] | Just excited to spend time with my family. | 我只是很期待跟家人在一起 |
| [04:09] | You know me and Morty, we’re all about those streets. | 你也知道我和莫蒂很喜欢这些街道 |
| [04:12] | Would ya look at this! New York City! | 你看看 纽约市 |
| [04:14] | Who woulda thought it had so many streets? | 谁想得到会有这么多街道？ |
| [04:17] | And avenues too. Oh Gosh! | 还有大街 天啊 |
| [04:18] | Hey, sir! Sir, have you seen any miracles? | 先生 你有看到奇迹吗？ |
| [04:21] | My little girl, she’s sick and she needs a miracle. | 我女儿生病了 她需要奇迹 |
| [04:24] | The Presidential blackhawk is landing on the lawn. | 总统的黑鹰直升机正降落在草坪上 |
| [04:26] | I’ll get rid of him. | 我去打发他 |
| [04:29] | -You got something to tell me, Morty? | 莫蒂 你有话要跟我说吗？ |
| [04:31] | -Merry Christmas? | 圣诞快乐？ |
| [04:32] | Who dropped a lightsaber perfectly fucking vertical? | 是谁把光剑完美地垂直掉在地上？ |
| [04:36] | Guess what, numb nuts, | 你猜怎么着？笨蛋 |
| [04:37] | it’s a mile deep and still going. | 它掉了一哩深 而且还在往下掉 |
| [04:39] | You know what’s in the hilt of that thing? | 你知道剑柄里有什么吗？ |
| [04:40] | -Kyber Crystals. -Okay, nerd. | －凯伯水晶 －好啦 书呆子 |
| [04:43] | Whatever it is, when it hits the core, | 不管它是什么 一旦它击中地心 |
| [04:44] | it’s gonna cause a chain reaction that destroys the Earth. | 便会造成连锁反应 摧毁地球 |
| [04:47] | It is? | 是吗？ |
| [04:48] | Why are you still playing wth laser swords anyway? | 你为什么还在玩激光剑？ |
| [04:50] | You’re fourteen. | 你已经14岁了 |
| [04:51] | You know all that Star Wars shit is silly, right? | 你知道《星际大战》很傻吧？ |
| [04:53] | Lucas promised a new trilogy for decades, | 卢卡斯几十年前 就承诺会拍摄一部新的三部曲 |
| [04:55] | then when he delivered fans turned on him | 结果成品惹怒了粉丝 |
| [04:57] | and started giving any knucklehead with nerd cred a shot | 接着所有的书呆子就趁机拍摄 |
| [05:00] | and churned out these irredeemable cash grabs. | 一大堆商业烂片 |
| [05:02] | Half pretend to be satisfied, half shit on it | 一半的粉丝假装很满足 另一半嗤之以鼻 |
| [05:04] | and in the end no one’s happy. | 最后谁都不开心 |
| [05:06] | Do you know why, Morty? | 莫蒂 你知道为什么吗？ |
| [05:07] | Because when you start with a turd, you end with a turd. | 因为一坨屎最终还是一坨屎 |
| [05:11] | Why you crying? Where’s Rick? | 你在哭什么？瑞克呢？ |
| [05:15] | He’s busy, | 他在忙 |
| [05:16] | and I hate him, | 而且我恨他 |
| [05:17] | and I lost my lightsaber | 我还失去了我的光剑 |
| [05:19] | and now it might destroy Earth | 它可能会摧毁地球 |
| [05:20] | and you’re unloading all this Gen X hatred on me | 你还把对Ｘ世代的仇恨 都发泄在我身上 |
| [05:22] | for even wanting one and it’s the worst Christmas ever! | 只因为我想要一把光剑 这是史上最糟的圣诞节 |
| [05:25] | Okay, Morty, Morty. | 好了 莫蒂… |
| [05:26] | I shouldn’t have talked to you like you’re a UN official. | 我不该用对联合国官员的口吻 跟你说话 |
| [05:28] | Let’s get your embarrassing ass lightsaber back | 我们去拿回你丢人的光剑吧 |
| [05:30] | so you can swing it around instead of kissing girls. | 你就能尽情挥舞它 而不是去亲吻女孩了 |
| [05:34] | You found me! Found me! Found me! | 你找到我了… |
| [05:45] | Security breach. | 安防被冲破 |
| [05:47] | -What the hell? | 搞什么鬼？ |
| [05:48] | -Unauthorized presence. -What the fuck Morty? | －未经授权人员出现 －莫蒂 你在搞什么鬼？ |
| [05:52] | This morning, a real | 今天早上 一把真实的 |
| [05:54] | life version of George Lucas’s trademarked lightsaber was dropped point down | 乔治·卢卡斯注册商标光剑 剑刃朝下掉在地上 |
| [05:57] | and is whomp whomping its way to the core of the Earth | 它正轰隆隆地掉入地心 |
| [05:59] | where it will blow us all up. | 且即将把我们炸得粉身碎骨 |
| [06:03] | Touch my shit and die. | 敢碰我的东西你们就死定了 |
| [06:04] | That’s not a threat from me, that’s how advanced my shit is. | 我不是在威胁你们 是我的东西太先进了 |
| [06:07] | Impressive lair, Sanchez. | 你的巢穴真不赖 桑切斯 |
| [06:09] | Got about six hundred thousand permits? | 你还缺六十万张许可证吧？ |
| [06:11] | If I wanted the government in my house I’d buy an Alexa! | 如果我想让政府进我家门 我就会买一台智能助理 |
| [06:13] | -I invited him in, Rick. | 是我邀请他进来的 瑞克 |
| [06:14] | -Yeah, well, they can leave. I’ll destroy it. | 好 他们可以离开了 我会摧毁光剑的 |
| [06:17] | -We’re gonna retrieve it. -Well that’s stupid. | －我们要把它拿回来 －那太蠢了 |
| [06:19] | -What kind of grandfather are you? | 你算是哪门子的外公？ |
| [06:21] | It’s Christmas for God’s sake, and you look like | 今天是圣诞节 而你看起来像 |
| [06:22] | 菲利：世界知名音乐制作人，曾为披头士乐队制作Imagine、Let It Be等热单。性格暴虐，有家暴丑闻。 2009年菲利因谋杀罪入狱，2021年1月在狱中死于新冠。 兰迪：好莱坞演员，川普粉丝。 | |
| [06:22] | Phil Spector wiped his ass with Randy Quaid. | 菲利·斯佩克特 用兰迪·奎德擦完屁股一样 |
| [06:25] | If you’re gonna help, help, otherwise step aside. | 要帮忙就帮忙 不然就让开 |
| [06:27] | Merry Christmas to me. | 祝我圣诞快乐 |
| [06:29] | -Merry Christmas to me! -To me! | －祝我圣诞快乐！ －是祝我快乐！ |
| [06:30] | Anyhoo, I’m no expert but it seems we’ve gotta… | 总之 我不是专家 但看来我们… |
| [06:34] | a certain amount of time to build a big drill ship. | 有时间打造一艘大型钻探船 |
| [06:36] | A big drill ship? | 大型钻探船？ |
| [06:38] | That’s some pretty loud stepping aside you’re doing. | 你让开之后也没闭嘴 |
| [06:40] | -Just let me destroy the thing! | 直接让我摧毁它吧 |
| [06:41] | -You’ve destroyed enough! | 你摧毁的东西已经够多了 |
| [06:45] | Oh, I see someone found my Told-ya so Dispenser. | 看来有人找到 我的”我早警告过你”发送器了 |
| [06:49] | Oh my god, look at all these streets! | 天啊 看看这些街道 |
| [06:51] | We got 34th street! | 有34街 |
| [06:52] | 35th street! | 35街 |
| [06:54] | 36th street coming too! | 也有36街 |
| [06:56] | It’s a miracle! | 这真是个奇迹 |
| [06:58] | We got miracles on 37th street! 38th, | 37街和38街都有奇迹 |
| [07:02] | and don’t even get me started on the Avenues! | 更别提大街上了 |
| [07:04] | I can’t believe they cut this! | 我不敢相信他们剪掉这一段 |
| [07:06] | Dad. You’ve been so great lately. | 爸 你最近好棒 |
| [07:09] | I’m almost afraid it’s not real. | 我好害怕这不是真的 |
| [07:10] | You’re not a robot, are you? | 你不是机器人 对吧？ |
| [07:13] | Put it this way, honey. | 这么说吧 亲爱的 |
| [07:14] | If I am, I’m a robot | 就算我是机器人 |
| [07:15] | programmed to love you very, very much. | 我也是被设计成非常爱你们的机器人 |
| [07:21] | Will this drill down fast enough to get under the lightsaber? | 这个钻头的速度能快到 抢在光剑前面吗？ |
| [07:24] | Yep. It will be under the lightsaber in one hour, because the… | 可以 一小时后 它就会在光剑下方 因为… |
| [07:27] | Wait, it’s lower now. | 等等 它比钻头低了 |
| [07:29] | Oh, right, it’s moving. | 对啦 因为它会动 |
| [07:30] | You fucking idiot. Get out of here! | 你这该死的白痴 滚出去 |
| [07:32] | Good luck finding a good scientist on Christmas! | 祝你在圣诞节期间找到好科学家 |
| [07:35] | I’m President of the United Assholes. | 我是混蛋国的总统 |
| [07:39] | All right, genius, I give you permission | 好吧 天才 我允许你 |
| [07:41] | -to make our drill ship faster. | 让我们的钻探船速度加快 |
| [07:42] | I’m not touching that thing. | 我才不要碰那个东西 |
| [07:43] | I’ll get neurotypical cooties, | 我会被传染神经性病 |
| [07:44] | I have son-in-laws more imaginative | 我的女婿还比较有想象力 |
| [07:46] | -Alright, just destroy the lightsaber! | 好吧 直接摧毁光剑吧 |
| [07:48] | -Thought you’d never ask. | 我以为你不会开口问我了 |
| [07:50] | Not true, I knew you’d ask. | 才怪 我就知道你会问 |
| [07:51] | -What is that? | 那是什么？ |
| [07:53] | -A second lightsaber | 第二把光剑 |
| [07:54] | with an AI controlled gyroscopic rocket in the hilt. | 剑柄里有人工智能控制的回转火箭 |
| [07:56] | -You had a lightsaber? | 你有一把光剑？ |
| [07:57] | -Oh did you want one? | 你想要一把吗？ |
| [07:59] | What a terrible gift that would have made. | 那会是很糟糕的礼物 |
| [08:01] | -Vertisaber, state your prime directive. | 垂直光剑 说出你的最高指导原则 |
| [08:03] | -To stay vertical. | 保持垂直 |
| [08:04] | -Then show ‘em how it’s done. | 示范给他们看吧 |
| [08:06] | -Affirmative. | 收到 |
| [08:08] | -Yeah! -America! | 好耶 美国万岁 |
| [08:13] | -Maintain verticality, Vertisaber. | 保持垂直 垂直光剑 |
| [08:15] | -Affirmative. | 收到 |
| [08:17] | Alright, looking good. Stay on target. | 好 看起来不错 继续锁定目标 |
| [08:21] | Progress report. | 进度报告 |
| [08:24] | -Vertisaber, do you copy? | 垂直光剑？有收到吗？ |
| [08:25] | -Do I have to respond every time? | 每次我都要回答吗？ |
| [08:27] | -Excuse me? | 你说什么？ |
| [08:28] | -I’m designed to stay perfectly vertical, | 我的设计是要保持垂直 |
| [08:30] | not to give constant affirmation, | 而不是不断回报 |
| [08:31] | you do your job I’ll do mine. | 我们各司其职吧 |
| [08:33] | -I control you! | 是我在控制你 |
| [08:34] | Okay, I’ll just turn off my brain and you can do that, bye! | 好 你继续吧 我要关闭我的大脑了 再见 |
| [08:38] | Fucking kidding me? Shit! | 开什么玩笑？可恶 |
| [08:39] | Trajectory’s drifting, sir. | 它偏离轨道了 长官 |
| [08:41] | -Where is it coming out? | 它会从哪里出来？ |
| [08:42] | -Looks like Italy, sir. | 应该是意大利 长官 |
| [08:47] | Okay, that coulda been worse. | 好吧 还不算太糟糕 |
| [08:55] | Well, that is definitely not Amore. | 那绝对不是爱情 |
| [08:58] | -Way to show us how it’s done, Rick. | 你的示范还真棒 瑞克 |
| [09:00] | – Whatever. -Italian Prime Minister on line one. | －随便啦 －意大利总理在一线 |
| [09:02] | -Put him on hold. | 叫他等一下 |
| [09:03] | We can pin this on the Saudis. | 我们可以把错推给沙特阿拉伯 |
| [09:05] | This is something they’d do. | 这是他们会做的事 |
| [09:07] | They may as well have done it. | 他们可能会这么做 |
| [09:08] | They did do it. | 他们的确做了这件事 |
| [09:11] | Oh, there’s another miracle at the end of the intersection of four hundred | 在401大道和7000街的交叉口 |
| [09:15] | and first boulevard and seven thousand street! | 又出现了一个奇迹 |
| [09:17] | -That’s a miracle per block so far. | 目前每个街区都出现了一个奇迹 |
| [09:19] | -Okay even I’m nearing my limit. | 好 连我都快到极限了 |
| [09:22] | Let’s play a Christmas game! | 我们来玩圣诞游戏吧 |
| [09:25] | Have you guys ever played “Are You a Robot?” | 你们玩过”你是机器人吗？” |
| [09:28] | Each person here has to decide whether or not t-they’re a robot. | 每个人都要决定自己是不是机器人 |
| [09:31] | -Ooh I like that. -Yes, yes, yes. | －好耶… －我喜欢 |
| [09:32] | But don’t say it out loud. | 但别大声说出来 |
| [09:34] | Because if you’re a robot, you’re not allowed to say you are, | 因为如果你是机器人 你不能说出来 |
| [09:36] | that’s the rule. | 这是规定 |
| [09:37] | That’s the horrible, painful thing about being a robot. | 这就是当机器人的痛苦之处 |
| [09:40] | But you do have to answer everyone’s questions. | 但你还是得回答大家的问题 |
| [09:42] | And it’s their jobs to decide | 而他们必须推测出 |
| [09:44] | whether you are or aren’t a robot because, | 你是不是机器人 |
| [09:45] | because if you are a robot you can’t say! | 因为如果你是机器人 你不能说出来 |
| [09:47] | You’re not allowed to say at all. | 绝对不能说出来 |
| [09:49] | I’ll go first! | 我先来 |
| [09:50] | Question? | 你们有问题吗？ |
| [09:52] | -Are you a robot? Can I just ask that? | 你是机器人吗？我可以直接问吗？ |
| [09:55] | -You can! But don’t forget that if i am | 可以 但别忘了 如果我是机器人 |
| [09:57] | i have to lie even though i don’t want to. | 就算我不想说谎 我还是得说谎 |
| [10:00] | -More questions? -Can you feel things? | －还有问题吗？ －你会有感觉吗？ |
| [10:02] | Oh fuck yes! Yes! That’s the problem! | 当然有 问题就在这里 |
| [10:04] | If I’m a robot, which I’m not, | 如果我是机器人 但我不是 |
| [10:06] | don’t forget I have to say that | 别忘了我必须这么说 |
| [10:08] | but yes, yes, I feel so much, | 但是 我的确有感觉 |
| [10:10] | I’m filled with love for certain people, | 我对某些人充满了爱意 |
| [10:12] | but also filled with shame If I’m programmed to deceive them, | 如果我被设计来欺骗他们 我会充满愧疚 |
| [10:16] | -but that’s a big if! | 这只是假设 |
| [10:17] | -What’s your skeleton made of? -Titanium! | －你的骨架是用什么做的？ －钛合金 |
| [10:19] | -You’re, you’re a robot! -Yes! | －你是机器人 －对 |
| [10:20] | No! But that’s what a robot would say! | 我不是 但机器人会这样说 |
| [10:23] | – So you get the idea! -Suck it bitches! | －所以你们懂了吧 －太棒了 |
| [10:26] | This is fun! | 这真好玩 |
| [10:27] | I’ve always been afraid to let my guard down | 我一直不敢卸下心防 |
| [10:29] | and just have stupid family fun like this | 享受愚蠢的家庭乐趣 |
| [10:30] | but Grandpa Rick is making me learn to be vulnerable! | 但瑞克外公让我学会展现脆弱的一面 |
| [10:33] | -Me too! -Right on! | －我也是 －太好了 |
| [10:39] | Alright. Your derivative drill ship is now faster than a lightsaber. | 好 钻探船现在能比光剑还快了 |
| [10:42] | -Morty, you want front or back? | 莫蒂 你要坐前面还是后面？ |
| [10:43] | Who says the two of us are going? | 谁说我们两个要去？ |
| [10:45] | -You didn’t even want to… | 你根本就不想去 |
| [10:46] | Oh for fuck’s sake, bye, good luck, | 卧槽 再见 祝你们好运 |
| [10:48] | don’t blow up my planet | 别炸掉我的星球 |
| [10:49] | You act like you’re the one that got stabbed in the back. | 你表现得像是背后被捅一刀的受害者 |
| [10:51] | Because I am the one, Morty. | 因为事实就是如此 莫蒂 |
| [10:53] | You wanna know why I replaced myself in the beginning of that stupid | 你想知道我为什么在愚蠢的太阳骑士事件初期 |
| [10:55] | Knights of the Sun thing? | 就把自己换掉了吗？ |
| [10:57] | I said don’t take the fucking sword | 我说不要拿那把该死的剑 |
| [10:58] | and you were like “whatever” | 你的态度却很随便 |
| [11:00] | like I’m our neighbor Gene or David Arquette or something. | 你把我当成邻居吉恩 或是大卫·阿奎特之类的 |
| [11:03] | You called me boring. | 你还说我很无趣 |
| [11:04] | I’ve become dog shit to you. | 我对你来说就像狗屎 |
| [11:06] | That’s what happens when you let people in | 当你让别人进入你的内心世界 |
| [11:07] | and they stop respecting you, they touch your shit, | 他们就不再尊重你 他们会碰你的东西 |
| [11:09] | they screw things up, they kill your fucking family. | 搞砸一切事物 然后杀了你的家人 |
| [11:11] | Go ahead. Trust him. | 你尽管相信他吧 |
| [11:13] | You’re going to learn the same fucking thing. | 你会学到同样的教训 |
| [11:16] | I… | 我… |
| [11:18] | am not going to kill your family, Morty. | 不会杀了你的家人 莫蒂 |
| [11:20] | That means a lot. | 这对我来说意义重大 |
| [11:26] | In case this goes south, any last words, Morty? | 万一出了差错 莫蒂 你有什么遗言吗？ |
| [11:29] | I’ve never been old enough to vote, Mr. President, | 我年纪还没大到可以投票 总统先生 |
| [11:31] | -but when I am, I’ll vote for you. | 但等我够大了 我会投给你 |
| [11:33] | Thanks, Morty. Every vote counts. | 谢谢 莫蒂 每一票都很重要 |
| [11:34] | If you want I can have them legally change your age. | 如果你想要的话 我可以合法更改你的年纪 |
| [11:37] | No, I’m not in any hurry to get into that shit show. | 不 我不急着蹚这滩浑水 |
| [11:40] | Approaching the lightsaber in T minus, | 接近光剑中 倒数计时… |
| [11:42] | shit, now, T-minus NOW! | 该死 来不及倒数了 |
| [11:44] | Sorry! I missed countdown day at the academy. | 抱歉 我在学院没上到倒数课程 |
| [11:46] | Now or never, Morty! | 机不可失 莫蒂 |
| [11:51] | -There it is! -Reverse the jets! | －在那里 －向后喷射 |
| [11:55] | I got this! | 交给我 |
| [11:58] | No… I do! | 不 交给我 |
| [12:00] | Morty, you magnificent little bastard! | 莫蒂 你这了不起的小混蛋 |
| [12:03] | Let’s get this thing topside. | 我们把它带上去吧 |
| [12:08] | May the force be with me! | 愿原力与我同在 |
| [12:10] | -I think you mean with me. | 应该是与我同在 |
| [12:12] | What? You hate Star Wars. | 什么？你讨厌《星际大战》 |
| [12:14] | I was your age when this shit was in theaters. | 电影上映时 我跟你一样大 |
| [12:16] | This franchise raised me. | 我看着这一系列的电影长大的 |
| [12:18] | Trained me, taught me good from evil, | 它们训练我、教我分辨善恶 |
| [12:19] | made having a bad father empowering. | 让拥有烂爸爸这件事变得激励人心 |
| [12:21] | And when that third movie | 但第三部电影… |
| [12:23] | got all muppety, | 非常蠢 |
| [12:24] | something in me began to rot, but make no mistake, child. | 我的内心开始腐败 但别误会了 孩子 |
| [12:28] | I own Star Wars. Not you. | 《星际大战》属于我 不是你 |
| [12:30] | Not that bubble throat pompadour fuck, | 也不属于 那个梳着庞毕度发型的粗脖子男 |
| [12:32] | not some Mickey Mouse shit machine, | 也不属于米老鼠大便机器 |
| [12:33] | they didn’t pay the price with their souls. | 他们没有出卖他们的灵魂 |
| [12:35] | I did. I earned this. Not you. | 而我有 这是我应得的 不是你 |
| [12:38] | -America! | 美国 |
| [12:39] | Transform and roll out. | 变身 然后出发 |
| [12:42] | Bastard! | 你这个混蛋 |
| [12:47] | Rick. I would be honored if you would carve the ham this year. | 瑞克 希望我有这个荣幸 请你今年负责切火腿 |
| [12:52] | -Dad, that’s… | 爸 这… |
| [12:53] | Unheard of? You’re quite right, Summer. | 从没发生过？你说得对 夏茉 |
| [12:55] | It’s my way of saying I see your mom’s father | 此举代表我把你妈妈的父亲 |
| [12:57] | as my father too. | 视为我的父亲 |
| [12:59] | Jerry, w-w-why don’t you cut it? | 杰瑞 还是你来切吧？ |
| [13:02] | Geez, Dad, what the hell are you doing? | 天啊 爸 你在做什么？ |
| [13:04] | He’s like adopting you into his biological family, Grandpa. | 他要收养你加入他的原生家庭 外公 |
| [13:08] | Morty, I am sure glad to see you. | 莫蒂 真高兴见到你 |
| [13:10] | -Ready to tag your old grandpa back in? | 你准备好代替外公上场了吗？ |
| [13:12] | -You’re not my grandpa, you’re a fucking robot. | 你不是我外公 你是该死的机器人 |
| [13:22] | Finally. | 终于 |
| [13:23] | ♪ The First Noel ♪ | ♪ 第一个圣诞 ♪ |
| [13:28] | ♪ The Angels did say was to certain poor shepherds ♪ | ♪ 天使对躺在田野里某个可怜的牧羊人 ♪ |
| [13:39] | ♪ in fields as they lay. ♪ | ♪ 这样说道 ♪ |
| [13:47] | Okay, okay, okay. | 好… |
| [13:55] | -Summer do you have any drugs? | 夏茉 你有毒品吗？ |
| [13:57] | -Are you serious? -I guess not. | －你是认真的吗？ －看来是没有 |
| [13:59] | I’m just glad I’m not the one that ruined Christmas | 我真庆幸我不是毁了圣诞节的人 |
| [14:02] | -People of Earth. | 地球人 |
| [14:03] | -That’s never good. | 这绝对不是好事 |
| [14:04] | I’m not here to play the blame game | 我不是要怪谁 |
| [14:06] | but Morty Smith got a lightsaber for Christmas, | 但莫蒂史密斯在圣诞节拿到一把光剑 |
| [14:08] | dropped it, and it’s now heading for the Earth’s core again, | 他把它弄掉了 现在它又往地心掉落了 |
| [14:10] | I mean for the first time. | 我是说 这是第一次发生这种事 |
| [14:12] | Son of a bitch! He played with it! | 该死 他玩了光剑 |
| [14:13] | If it does reach the core, it will blow all of you up. | 如果它击中地心 就会炸死你们所有人 |
| [14:17] | I mean all of us up. | 我是说 我们所有人 |
| [14:19] | But don’t abandon hope. | 但别放弃希望 |
| [14:20] | We’re doing everything we can to stop it | 我们正尽全力阻止这件事发生 |
| [14:22] | and only if that fails will we launch the White House into space… | 只有在失败时 我们才会把白宫送上太空 |
| [14:28] | Welp, I’m busted. Clearly in space already. | 好吧 被你们发现了 我们显然已经在外太空了 |
| [14:31] | -You did ruin Christmas. | 你确实毁了圣诞节 |
| [14:32] | Nuh-uh! He stole my lightsaber and must’ve dropped it! | 他偷走了我的光剑 然后把它掉在地上 |
| [14:35] | A second time! | 而且是第二次了 |
| [14:36] | Does that mean you stopped it a first time? | 所以你第一次成功阻止了它？ |
| [14:38] | -How? -A drill ship. | －怎么办到的？ －钻探船 |
| [14:40] | A drill ship? | 钻探船？ |
| [14:41] | Awesome. | 太酷了 |
| [14:42] | It was, but the government took it with them. | 的确很酷 但它被政府带走了 |
| [14:44] | Then we lean on the only asshole smart enough to make | 我们只能仰赖唯一能在短时间内 |
| [14:46] | -another one in this tight a window. | 造出另一艘船的聪明混蛋了 |
| [14:48] | -But Rick’s gone. | 但瑞克离开了 |
| [14:49] | And I’m not sure he’s ever coming back. | 我不确定他会不会再回来 |
| [14:51] | Then let’s settle for the next best thing. | 那我们就退而求其次吧 |
| [14:55] | Oh fuck, just let me die! | 该死 就让我死吧 |
| [14:57] | Turn me off. | 把我关掉 |
| [14:58] | Not that I can be turned off because I’m obviously not a robot! | 但我无法被关掉 因为我显然不是机器人 |
| [15:23] | Fuck yeah! I got you. | 好耶 找到你了 |
| [15:26] | Okay, I can, I can work with that. | 好 我有办法解决 |
| [15:35] | What do youmean the White House chef was grocery shopping? | 你说白宫主厨刚好去买菜？ |
| [15:37] | Well do you know how to make an egg? | 那你会煮蛋吗？ |
| [15:39] | You do? | 你会？ |
| [15:40] | Everyone does? | 大家都会？ |
| [15:42] | Good news, sir. | 好消息 长官 |
| [15:43] | The lightsaber was intercepted before it hit the core! | 光剑在击中地心前就被拦截了 |
| [15:46] | Alright, here we go! | 好 太好了 |
| [15:48] | I don’t suppose you could send it up here. | 你应该无法把它送上来吧？ |
| [15:50] | -Who intercepted it anyway? | 到底是谁拦截的？ |
| [15:52] | -That’s the bad news. | 那就是坏消息了 |
| [15:54] | That is bad news. | 的确是坏消息 |
| [16:00] | – Hey, Mister P. Drop something? | 总统先生 你掉了什么吗？ |
| [16:03] | -Morty. I see you and Rick patched things up, that’s nice. | 莫蒂 看来你跟瑞克和好了 真好 |
| [16:07] | No, the real Rick and I have never been worse | 不 真正的瑞克和我的关系糟透了 |
| [16:09] | thanks to that wedge you drove | 这都多亏你为了拿到光剑 |
| [16:10] | between us just to get that lightsaber! | 在我们之间挑拨离间 |
| [16:12] | Yeah, well, looks like you got it back. | 对 看来你把它拿回来了 |
| [16:14] | Your journey is complete. | 你的旅程完成了 |
| [16:16] | -As a nerd! -You’re the nerd! | －你这个书呆子 －你才是书呆子 |
| [16:18] | You can’t say all that crazy shit about Star Wars | 你不能说完那一堆关于《星际大战》的鬼话 |
| [16:20] | and then act like you’re cool! | 然后还装酷 |
| [16:21] | Oh really, would a person who wasn’t cool have one of these? | 真的吗？不酷的人会有这个吗？ |
| [16:25] | I think so? | 应该不会 |
| [16:26] | Slowly closing door, slide! | 门慢慢关上了 快滑进去 |
| [16:30] | Oh no I’m not gonna make it. | 不 我办不到 |
| [16:31] | What a shame to be put out of my misery again. | 可惜我苦闷的人生又要结束了 |
| [16:35] | Aw man. | 可惜 |
| [16:41] | What the hell? | 搞什么鬼？ |
| [16:42] | Was this always part of the White House? | 这一直是白宫的一部分吗？ |
| [16:44] | Carter built it with his own two hands. | 卡特亲手建造的 |
| [16:46] | Reagan tried to destroy it. | 里根试图摧毁它 |
| [16:47] | George W added kegs to the cantina. | 小布什在酒馆加装啤酒桶 |
| [16:50] | But only I saw its true value. | 但只有我看到它真正的价值 |
| [16:53] | Mister President. | 总统先生 |
| [16:54] | You need to come home and tell the people the truth. | 你得回地球告诉大家真相 |
| [16:56] | The fuck I do. | 我才不要 |
| [16:58] | Droids, get that saber! | 机器人 快去抢光剑 |
| [17:01] | Give it a minute. | 等它一下 |
| [17:02] | Usually comes out on the fourth try. | 通常第四次就会成功了 |
| [17:04] | Alright, here we go. | 太好了 开始了 |
| [17:06] | Look at ‘em. lightsaber hands! | 看看它们的光剑手 |
| [17:08] | Tell me that’s not cool! | 很酷吧？ |
| [17:10] | It’s not! I always wanted to fight with a lightsaber, but not like this. | 并不 我一直想拿光剑打架 但不是这样 |
| [17:13] | -You ruined it! | 你毁了它 |
| [17:15] | Disney ruined it! | 是迪士尼毁了它 |
| [17:16] | You think I want thirty low-rent tv series with bad CGI? | 你以为我想要30部 用劣质电脑动画做的影集吗？ |
| [17:19] | They film everything on that one big green screen! | 全都是在大绿幕前拍摄的 |
| [17:22] | Like you’ve got better ideas. | 说得好像你有更好的点子似的 |
| [17:24] | I’ve got a million! | 我有一百万个点子 |
| [17:25] | Here’s one: a robot with lightsabers for eyes! | 其中一个就是眼睛是光剑的机器人 |
| [17:37] | Goddamnit, he can’t see! | 可恶 它看不见！ |
| [17:41] | It was a good idea otherwise. | 不然这会是个好点子 |
| [17:43] | I… admit it, you were intimidated! | 承认吧 你吓到了 |
| [17:47] | Now, Morty… | 好了 莫蒂… |
| [17:52] | C’mon, put down the lightsaber gatling gun. | 拜托 放下光剑加特林机关枪 |
| [17:55] | We had our fun, right? | 我们玩得很开心 对吧？ |
| [17:58] | Star Wars rules say you have to forgive me. | 《星际大战》的规则说你必须原谅我 |
| [18:00] | I’m done with that and I’m done with you! | 我受够那个了 我也受够你了 |
| [18:02] | -Morty, no! | 莫蒂 住手 |
| [18:04] | Rickbot! | 瑞克机器人 |
| [18:05] | He sacrificed his life for me! | 他为我牺牲了性命 |
| [18:07] | Yeah don’t be too touched, he’s actively trying to die. | 别太感动 他很想寻死 |
| [18:11] | It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt. | 没关系 不会痛 |
| [18:14] | Oh god, they’re sliding, Morty! They’re sliding! | 天啊 它们滑落了 莫蒂 |
| [18:16] | They’re sliding! | 它们滑落了… |
| [18:18] | ♪ The First Noel ♪ | ♪ 第一个圣诞 ♪ |
| [18:23] | ♪ the Angels did say. ♪ | ♪ 天使说道 ♪ |
| [18:25] | Perfectly fucking vertical. | 完美地垂直 |
| [18:27] | Perfectly fucking vertical. | 完美地垂直 |
| [18:34] | Save yourself, Morty! Rick can build another me. | 救救你自己 莫蒂 瑞克可以造出另一个我 |
| [18:37] | If I was a robot, which I’m not. | 如果我是机器人的话 但我不是 |
| [18:39] | I don’t want another you. | 我不想要另一个你 |
| [18:42] | No! | 不 |
| [18:48] | Rick? You came to help! | 瑞克？你来帮忙了 |
| [18:50] | Better tend to your lil toaster. | 你最好去照顾你的小烤面包机 |
| [18:52] | I’m coughing up oil, Morty. | 我咳出油了 莫蒂 |
| [18:55] | Oh Rickbot, I never should’ve pushed you away. | 瑞克机器人 我不该把你赶走的 |
| [18:57] | You were, you were so great. | 你太棒了 |
| [18:59] | Of course I’m great, I’m Rick. | 我当然很棒 我是瑞克 |
| [19:02] | Rick literally built me to make you happy, Morty. | 瑞克创造我是为了让你开心 莫蒂 |
| [19:05] | Anything I do is technically something Rick did. | 严格来说 我做的一切都是瑞克曾做过的事 |
| [19:08] | But maybe he can do a little more himself. | 但或许他可以自己多做一点 |
| [19:12] | God, how long do you take to die? | 老天 你要多久才会死？ |
| [19:14] | Goodbye Morty. | 再见 莫蒂 |
| [19:20] | Jesus, | 天呐 |
| [19:23] | Rick. | 瑞克 |
| [19:24] | I guess this is a bad time to ask for a new White House? | 我想现在不是要求你盖新白宫的好时机吧？ |
| [19:29] | Morty, would you mind calling me an Uber? | 莫蒂 可以帮我叫优步吗？ |
| [19:32] | Right, well… | 好吧 那么… |
| [19:34] | Merry Christmas. | 圣诞快乐 |
| [19:36] | I guess I’ll go watch | 我还是去跟家人一起 |
| [19:37] | a guy scream about streets with the family. | 看一个男人喊街名的节目吧 |
| [19:39] | -Also, you need to shower. | 还有 你需要去洗个澡 |
| [19:41] | -Hey. | 嘿 |
| [19:42] | Maybe the robot’s right, | 也许机器人说得对 |
| [19:44] | I should have included you in my shit. | 我应该让你加入我的行列 |
| [19:47] | You can help me if you want. | 如果你想要的话 你可以帮我 |
| [19:54] | Wow, are those all the places Rick Prime could be? | 瑞克主星可能会出现在这些地方吗？ |
| [19:56] | I wish, Morty. | 如果是就好了 莫蒂 |
| [19:57] | It’s all the places he is. | 这些地方都有他 |
| [19:59] | -Ah geez. -Welcome to my darkness. | －老天 －欢迎来到我的黑暗世界 |
| [20:01] | I spent my life hunting this guy, Morty! | 我这辈子都在追捕他 莫蒂 |
| [20:03] | This is the closest I’ve ever been to catching “Rick Prime”, | 这是我最接近抓到瑞克主星的一次 |
| [20:07] | it’s impossible! | 这根本不可能 |
| [20:08] | He’s an incredibly crafty piece of shit. | 他是个十分狡猾的混蛋 |
| [20:10] | Hunting him destroyed me, Morty! | 追捕他毁了我的人生 莫蒂 |
| [20:11] | But now we’re gonna do it together! | 但现在我们要一起追捕他 |
| [20:13] | You and me! | 你和我 |
| [20:14] | It’s gonna take over your life, Morty! | 这将完全占据你的生活 莫蒂 |
| [20:17] | hunting my nemesis! | 追捕我的宿敌 |
| [20:18] | Maybe trying to stay healthy while doing it! | 或许我们能一边保持着健康 |
| [20:20] | Juggling plates! And not every episode, Morty! | 还有杂耍盘子 但不是每一集 莫蒂 |
| [20:23] | It could be all happening in the background! | 可能都是背景故事 |
| [20:24] | Who knows? You know, no one will! | 谁知道？没有人知道 |
| [20:26] | Except us! | 除了我们 |
| [20:27] | It’s the most painful shit I’ve ever had to deal with | 这是我经历过最痛苦的事 |
| [20:29] | and I’m fucking bringing you into it. | 我还把你拖下水 |
| [20:31] | Because you asked for it, Morty! | 这是你自找的 莫蒂 |
| [20:32] | You and me, Morty! | 你和我 莫蒂 |
| [21:05] | Ooo-wee! What a season, huh? | 真精彩的一季 对吧？ |
| [21:08] | Rick Prime! Therapy! | 瑞克主星、心理治疗 |
| [21:09] | And that thing we did with Roy, remember that? | 还有我们跟罗伊做的事 记得吗？ |
| [21:13] | Sorry I wasn’t around, | 抱歉 我最近不在 |
| [21:14] | been busy getting my little poopybutt in shape. | 我忙着重新锻炼我的小屁股 |
| [21:17] | Been tonin and bonin! | 我一直在健身 |
| [21:19] | You- you might think I’m over compensating | 你们可能觉得我在弥补空虚 |
| [21:22] | for the emptiness after Amy left with Poopy Jr, | 因为艾咪跟小便便洞跑了 |
| [21:24] | but my trainer Carl says the best way to get over a girl is to get | 但我的教练卡尔说 忘掉一个女生最好的方法 |
| [21:28] | -under a three hundred pound squat. | 就是举重三百磅 |
| [21:31] | Damn right. | 没错 |
| [21:33] | Ooooo-wee, that’s the good stuff! | 真是好东西 |
| [21:37] | Ah sugar, ah sugar, ah sugar, is it bad? | 我的糖啊…很糟吗？ |
| [21:41] | Oh! It seems really bad, isn’t it? | 好像很糟 对吧？ |
| [21:44] | Someone call Amy, tell her I need her, | 快打给艾咪 告诉她我需要她 |
| [21:46] | tell her I love her! | 告诉她我爱她 |
| [21:47] | Not my phone, she blocked me, | 别用我的手机 她把我拉黑了 |
| [21:49] | use yours. Ooo-weee… | 用你的手机 |
| [21:51] | I am broken. | 我支离破碎了 |