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Rough Night(仓皇一夜)[2017]电影台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年6月15日 By jubentaici_movie_user Rough Night(仓皇一夜)[2017]电影台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
电影名称:仓皇一夜
英文名称:Rough Night
年代:2017

推荐:千部英美剧台词本阅读
时间 英文 中文
[00:47] – There she is. – Hi, guys. -她来了 -姐妹们你们好
[00:50] All right, baby girl. You go, baby girl. 好了小宝贝 来吧宝贝
[00:52] You go, baby girl. You go, you go get it. 加油宝贝 加油 你能命中
[00:54] Yes! 太棒了
[00:57] You’re my baby… Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba… 你是我的宝贝 宝宝宝宝宝
[00:59] No, no, no, don’t make it. 别别别 别进
[01:00] Oh! Damn it! 该死
[01:02] Oh… Yes! 太棒了
[01:04] – Nope. I absolute… – I got this. I got this. -不行 我绝对 -我来 我来
[01:07] – I absolutely can’t do it. – Come on, Jess! -我绝对不行了 -加油 杰西
[01:08] But remember, this is a stupid frat boy ritual, so… 但记住这只是个愚蠢的兄弟会仪式
[01:11] Yeah, but kick their ass! 对 得给他们点教训尝尝
[01:12] – Yeah, fuck ’em up! – Hey. -对 操翻他们 -嗨
[01:13] – We’re together. – No. -我们一起的 -没门
[01:14] Cool, cool, cool. 好吧好吧好吧
[01:18] Yes. 太棒了
[01:20] Yeah, go, Jess! 棒极了 杰西
[01:23] Dude! 老兄
[01:28] Only two cups left. 只剩两个杯子了
[01:30] No, there’s one cup. You’re just seeing double. 不 只有一杯了 你看重影了
[01:32] Oh, God! There’s only one cups left. 天哪 只剩一杯了
[01:35] – Oh, I can’t do it. It’s too much pressure. – What? -我不行了 压力太大了 -什么
[01:37] – I can’t do it, Jess. – Look… -我不行了 杰西 -听着…
[01:38] – Look at me. Look at me. – Mmm-hmm? -看着我 看着我 -什么
[01:40] You got us through the Wendy’s drive-through 之前你用我那没挡风只有三个轮胎的车
[01:42] when my car had no windshield and three tires. 开到了温蒂汽车穿梭餐厅
[01:44] You can do anything. 你可以做到任何事
[01:46] Yeah, but everybody’s watching me, 对 但是现在大家都盯着我
[01:47] and I’m sweating like crazy. 我疯狂出汗
[01:49] I look like a princess, but I smell like a peasant. 我看着像公主 闻着却像农民
[01:52] Let’s go, foot job girl! 来吧 脚活女孩
[01:55] Excuse me, she has a name! It’s Alice. 拜托 人家有名字的 叫爱丽丝
[01:58] And she’s my best friend, and she’s good and kind. 她是我的闺蜜 人很好很善良
[02:02] Yeah! 没错
[02:03] Thank you, but I did jerk off his roommate with my feet. 谢谢 但我的确用脚给他室友打过飞机
[02:06] I… I know. 我 我知道
[02:08] The key is, right foot only for, like, a while. 诀窍就是 先用右脚轻轻蹭几下
[02:11] – You know? Make him beg for… – The left one. -懂吗 让他求你把左脚也用上 -左脚
[02:13] I know. Focus! 我知道 专心点
[02:15] If we win this, we will be the only girls 如果赢了 我们会成为万圣节比赛史上
[02:18] to ever win the Halloween tournament. 唯一赢过的女生
本电影台词包含不重复单词:1619个。
其中的生词包含:四级词汇:232个,六级词汇:105个,GRE词汇:134个,托福词汇:171个,考研词汇:259个,专四词汇:197个,专八词汇:43个,
所有生词标注共:504个。
定制生词标注的台词本和单词统计,请访问生词标注台词本
[02:20] We’ve got to do this. 我们会成功的
[02:22] For womankind. 为了女同胞们
[02:28] Stop making me horny, and shoot! 别让我这么饥渴难耐了 快点
[02:44] We did it! We did it! We did it! 我们赢了 我们赢了 我们赢了
[02:46] – I want up! I want up! I want up! – You deserve it. -我想骑你脖子 -你应得的
[02:48] You’ve earned it. 你挣来的
[02:52] Here we go. All right. All right, yes! 来吧 好的 好的 棒极了
[02:57] I’m the king of the world! 我是世界之王
[03:02] Oh. Again? 又这样
[03:04] – Dude. – Oh, God. Jess? -姐们 -天哪 杰西
[03:05] Are you all right? 你没事吧
[03:06] – Oh, my God, are you okay? – Dude. Come on. Come on. -天哪 你还好吧 -姐们 拜托快起来
[03:09] – I’m fine, Mom. – Oh, my God. -我没事 妈妈 -天哪
[03:13] What happened? 发生了什么事
[03:16] Honestly, I don’t even know why we go to these stupid parties. 说实话 我不知道干嘛要去这些愚蠢的派对
[03:18] I just want to hang out with you guys. 我只是想跟你们一起玩
[03:19] – I know. I feel the same way. – Yes! -我知道 我也是这个感觉 -没错
[03:20] Everyone else at this college is sloppy and gross. 这个学校其他的人都又糙又恶心
[03:23] – Water. – Wait, come here. -水 -等等 给我
[03:26] Ugh! Mmm. Not bad. 很不错
[03:28] Who’s grosser? 谁更恶心
[03:29] What is that? 那是什么
[03:31] – What is that? – What’s happening? -那是什么 -怎么回事
[03:32] Oh, it’s my vibrator, it randomly turns on and off. 我的按摩棒 时不时就关关开开的
[03:39] Oh, my God, you guys, I’m gonna miss you so much next semester. 天哪 大家 下个学期我会很想你们的
[03:43] I don’t want to talk about it. It’s sad. 我不想说这件事 太伤心了
[03:45] – No, no, no, no. – Dude, -不不不不 -姐们
[03:46] Al Gore is guest-lecturing next semester. 埃尔·格尔下学期有客座讲座
[03:48] Maybe you don’t want to go to Australia. I don’t know. 或许你不想去澳大利亚 我不知道
[03:50] Yeah. On my 21st birthday, though, 对 不过我21岁生日那天
[03:52] my dad’s getting us the chopper. 我爸爸要给我们包直升机
[03:54] I said I don’t want to talk about it. 我说过我不想说这件事
[03:55] So I don’t know what’s happening. 所以我不知道发生了什么
[03:57] I don’t even want to go. I just… 我甚至都不想去 我只是…
[03:58] It was so hard to get into the political science program. 想进政治科学项目实在是太难了
[04:01] And plus, my gym class is bungee jumping, so… 而且我的体育课是蹦极 所以…
[04:04] Oh, my God, wear a good bra. 天哪 穿件好点的胸罩
[04:05] Well, look, we’ll have all of senior year together, 听着 我们的大四都是一起度过的
[04:08] and then we’ll have the rest of our lives together, so it’s fine. 而且以后还会一起 所以没关系
[04:11] – Yeah. – You promise? -是啊 -你保证吗
[04:13] You guys, our kids are gonna play together. 姐妹们 我们的孩子也得一起玩
[04:16] – Oh, my God! – Oh, my gosh! -天哪 -天哪
[04:18] – We’re so lucky! – Get in here! Come here. -我们太幸运了 -过来 过来
[04:22] Okay, that is a second vibrator. Yeah, I have a few. 好吧 第二个振动器 我有几个呢
[04:25] Just… Just, yeah. 就那儿…就是 对
[04:28] No! Janine, no! 不 珍妮 不
[04:29] No! No! No! Janine, get out! 不不不 珍妮 出去
[04:31] Come on. Janine! 快点 珍妮
[04:32] Oh, my God! Stop! 天哪 打住
[04:34] – Bathroom is next-door! – Cannot believe! -厕所在隔壁 -简直不敢相信
[04:35] – Every damn weekend with this! Stop! – She’s already peeing. -每周末都这样 打住 -她在尿了
[04:37] Janine! 珍妮
[04:47] Hi. I’m Jessica Thayer, 你们好 我是杰西卡·塞耶
[04:49] and I’m running for state senate. 正在竞选州参议员
[04:51] Crime, underfunded schools, sewage. 犯罪 学校拿不到资助 下水道事宜
[04:55] These are real problems that our community is facing. 我们的社区正面对着许多真实存在的问题
[04:58] Looking forward to your vote on November 3. 11月3号 期待您的宝贵一票
[05:02] Thank you. 谢谢
[05:05] – It’s great. – Well, 60% of the focus group -很好 -有60%的焦点小组
[05:08] did say that it seemed like you wouldn’t put out. 都说觉得你不可能成功的
[05:10] What? Why are they being asked that? 什么 为什么这么问他们
[05:13] Don’t know, but 60% is, like, a lot. 不知道 但60%这比率很高了
[05:16] Yeah. We’re still so close. 对 我们票数还是很接近
[05:17] I don’t understand, Wesson literally tweeted out a dick pic. 我不明白 韦森可是在推上发了屌照
[05:21] He apologized. 他道歉了
[05:22] Yes. He said, “I’m sorry, wrong dick pic,” 他说 抱歉 发错鸟照了
[05:25] and then he tweeted out another one. 然后就又发了一个
[05:27] Look, if Wesson wins, he’s literally gonna cut 听着 如果韦森赢了 他真的会砍掉
[05:30] every single program that actually helps people. 所有能真正帮助大家的项目
[05:32] We know that. Right? 我们都知道 对吧
[05:34] But people want to vote for someone they can relate to. 但人们总喜欢投票给那些跟他们有联系的人
[05:36] They feel safe with Wesson. 他们投给韦森觉得很安心
[05:38] They want to have a beer with him. 他们想跟他喝啤酒
[05:39] I’m not sure anyone wants to have a beer with that. 我不确定 是不是有人想跟这个喝啤酒
[05:50] Hey, Alice. 嗨 爱丽丝
[05:51] Hey. I am so excited for this trip. 嗨 这趟旅途我可太激动了
[05:54] I got my IUD taken out for Miami. 为了迈阿密我把宫内避孕器都拿掉了
[05:56] Um, is that a good idea? 那算个好主意吗
[05:58] Uh, yeah. It’s your bachelorette weekend. 当然 那可是你的单身女子周末啊
[06:00] Jess, Wesson tweeted out another dick pic, 杰西 韦森又发了一张鸟图
[06:02] and it’s already got 10,000 retweets. 已经有一万个转发
[06:04] Alice, I… I got to call you back. 爱丽丝 回头打给你
[06:09] Tulum, give her back her Kindle! 塔鲁姆 把她的电纸书还回去
[06:20] – Hey. – Mmm. Hey. -干嘛呢 -嗨
[06:23] I’m so sorry. I got stuck at the office. 抱歉 办公室有事耽搁了
[06:26] It’s okay. 没关系
[06:29] – I got you chicken cashew nut, extra nut. – Oh, no. -我给你买了腰果鸡丁 多加腰果 -不是吧
[06:33] I ate an apple 我在办公室
[06:34] and a bag of very, very stale pretzels at the office. 吃了一个苹果和非常不新鲜的椒盐卷饼
[06:38] It was so hard to get extra nut. 想要到额外的腰果太难了
[06:40] That woman is so mean. She yells at me all the time. 那女人太小气了 她一直冲我大吼大叫的
[06:43] She thought I hung up, but I heard her call me a dipshit. 她以为我挂断了 但我听到她说我是蠢货
[06:44] – How much did you tip? – 20%. -你给了多少小费 -20%的
[06:48] – I know. I know, I know. – Yeah. Like, I couldn’t. I… -我就知道 我知道 -好像 我不能…我…
[06:51] You’re just such a good person. 你是这么好的一个人
[06:54] Oh, it’s Alice. I forgot to call her back. 是爱丽丝 我忘记给她回电了
[06:56] – It’s okay, get it. – No. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. -没问题 我懂 -不行 我不行…
[06:58] Enough with my bachelorette itinerary. 受够了什么单身女子旅程规划了
[07:01] Like, she’s planned it to the half hour. 她是前半小时才计划好的
[07:02] Yeah, I feel like this weekend has come at the worst possible time. 是啊 我觉得这周的时机真是太差了
[07:06] I’m so stressed out. 我简直精疲力竭
[07:08] You’ll see your friends, you’ll have fun. 你能看到你的朋友 你们会很开心的
[07:09] It’ll be restorative. 会让你恢复元气
[07:11] Like that time we took Xanax and slept for 16 hours. 就像我们吃阿普唑仑睡了16小时一样
[07:13] Oh, God, that was good. 天哪 当时真棒
[07:15] You know, I love those girls, 我爱那些姐妹
[07:16] but I really just don’t want to have a party weekend right now. 但我真的不想现在开一个周末派对
[07:19] I want to have a weekend with you. 我想跟你共度一个周末
[07:22] – I miss you. – Mmm-hmm. I miss you, too. -我很想你 -我也是
[07:24] – You’ve been at the office, like, nonstop. – I know. -你一直在办公司 就没闲过 -我知道
[07:32] Wait, wait, one… If we keep kissing, 等等 等一下 如果我们一直亲
[07:34] I’m gonna want to have sex. 我就想跟你滚床单了
[07:35] I’m okay with that. 这我没意见
[07:36] – I’m down. – Okay. -我可以 -好吧
[07:38] But I have, like, four things I have to do before. 但是在那之前我还有四件事要做
[07:42] I just have to print out those itineraries for the city council meeting. 我得把市议会会议的旅游活动日程打印出来
[07:44] And I have to email the Herald. 还要给《先驱报》发邮件
[07:46] I have, like, a 25-minute-ish interview. 还有个25分钟左右的采访
[07:50] Ooh. Okay. I… 好吧 我…
[07:51] I tell you what, I’m gonna let you do all that, 这样吧 你把这些都做完
[07:54] and I’m gonna go masturbate in the shower and go to sleep. 我冲澡顺便自己解决然后睡觉
[07:57] – Really? – Yeah. -真的吗 -对
[07:59] – You’re the best. – Well… -你最棒了 -这个嘛…
[08:01] – I love you. – I love you, too. -爱你 -我也爱你
[08:06] – So, I texted you the address. – Jess! Shots! Shots! -我把地址短信发你了 杰西 -喝酒喝酒喝酒
[08:09] Shots, shots, shots, shots! Shots! Shots! 喝酒喝酒喝酒喝酒喝酒喝酒
[08:11] Shots, shots, shots! 喝酒喝酒喝酒
[08:13] – Yay! – Yes! -耶 -棒极了
[08:17] Oh, my God. 天哪
[08:18] – What’s on my head? – This is it. -我头上是什么 -就是这个
[08:20] Your bachelorette weekend. 你的单身女子周末
[08:22] I have been waiting for this moment 我自从大一新生第一天开始
[08:24] since the first day of freshman year. 就在等待这一刻了
[08:26] – Get in here. – You have? -过来 -是吗
[08:28] Oh, my God, there’s gonna be so many hot Miami babes. 天哪 迈阿密肯定有很多小鲜肉
[08:31] We are gonna be swimmin’ in dick, girl! 我们要在大雕的海洋遨游了 姐们
[08:34] Hi, Alice. 你好 爱丽丝
[08:35] – Peter. Hi. – Hey. -皮特 你好 -你好
[08:37] And get out of here, she’s mine now. 赶紧走吧 现在她是我的了
[08:40] Don’t get in too much trouble, okay? 别惹太多麻烦 好吗
[08:42] – Yeah, I won’t. – Let’s go, let’s do it. -好 不会的 -走吧 我们走吧
[08:45] Drive safe. Have fun at your bachelor party, okay? 安全驾驶 单身男子派对玩的开心 好吗
[08:46] Will do. 会的
[08:47] Hey, Alice, be careful swimming in all that dick. 爱丽丝 在大雕里遨游的时候小心点
[08:49] – What are you…? – Okay, bye. -你在说什么… -好了 再见
[08:51] I’m so happy to see you. 见到你太高兴了
[08:53] Oh, this weekend’s gonna be so much fun. 这个周末会很有趣的
[08:55] Can’t wait to see my girls! 迫不及待见姐妹们了
[08:58] When the pepper spray hits your face, 等到胡椒喷雾剂喷在你脸上
[09:00] and it will, 你躲不过的
[09:01] keep your mouth closed tight. 一定要把嘴闭上
[09:03] We are peaceful protestors. Yes! 我们是和平的抗议者 是的
[09:05] Yet we fight, you know? Yet we are strong! 但是我们要战斗 我们是强大的
[09:08] – Yeah! Yeah! – This is war! -是的 是的 -这是场战争
[09:10] Okay, I got to head to a bachelorette. 好了 我得去一个单身派对了
[09:13] But if anybody from the group disappears from the protest, 但是如果你们发现有人消失了
[09:16] you text my cell phone immediately. 马上给我发短信
[09:19] You have a cell phone? 你有手机吗
[09:21] – Uh, no. – You’re one of them! -没有啊 -你也是他们中的一员
[09:24] I’ll pick you up after school on Monday, okay, sweetie? 周一放学后我来接你 好吗 亲爱的
[09:27] Mommy, do you have to go to Miami? 妈妈 你一定要去迈阿密吗
[09:29] Yes, I really do. 是的 我要走了
[09:32] But I’m gonna miss you so much. 但我会很想你的
[09:34] Technically, 准确地说
[09:35] my time started 20 minutes ago, 我的监护时间20分钟前就开始了
[09:37] so, going to note this for 所以 我会在监护权听证会上
[09:38] the custody hearing. 强调这一点的
[09:41] I love you. 我爱你
[09:45] Bye. 再见
[10:02] Well, well, well. 看看谁来了
[10:05] Damn. 该死
[10:08] How do you do it? 你是怎么做到的
[10:09] How do you look this flawless getting off a plane? 刚从飞机上下来还美若天仙
[10:11] It’s honestly rude. 简直就是无礼
[10:13] What, are you flirting with me? 怎么 你在跟我调情吗
[10:15] I would not flirt with a happily 我不会和一个伤透我心
[10:16] married woman who broke my heart. 还幸福已婚的女人调情的
[10:17] Oh, my God, you broke up with me, don’t even start with that. 天哪 是你提的分手 还好意思说
[10:20] Excuse me, now you are flirting with me, okay? 抱歉 现在是你在和我调情了 好吗
[10:24] It’s good to see you. 很高兴见到你
[10:26] It’s good to see you, too. 也很高兴见到你
[10:28] Girl, I have had a day. 姐妹 我今天也是够惨的
[10:30] First was full, I had to ride business. 头等舱没位了 我只能做商务舱
[10:33] It was disgusting. 太恶心了
[10:35] – Gross. – You’re serious. Okay. Cool. -真恶心 -你是认真的 可以的
[10:38] Oh, my God, did you hear Alice is 天哪 你听说没
[10:40] making us go to a foam party? 爱丽丝想让我们去参加一个泡沫派对吗
[10:42] Ugh! I know. 听说了
[10:43] She has a scary amount of time on her hands. 她现在闲的可怕
[10:45] Even though she’s a full-time teacher, 尽管她是个全职教师
[10:46] I’m still like, “Get a job.” 但我觉得她和待业一样
[10:48] Do you have a job? 你有工作吗
[10:50] Activism is a full-time job, but… 行动主义也是一项全职工作 但
[10:53] Also no. 也不算
[10:55] Look at them, the magic is still there. 看看她们 魔力依存啊
[10:57] Hello! Hello! 姐妹们
[10:58] Hi! Hi! Yes! Yes! 你好啊 太好了
[11:03] Oh, my God! It is all happening! 天哪 这是真的嘛
[11:06] Mmm! God, you smell so good. 天哪 你闻起来真香
[11:08] I have, like, half a pound of weed in my bra. Ah. 我的胸罩里有半磅大麻
[11:10] Hey, Alice, how’s your mom? 爱丽丝 你妈妈怎么样
[11:12] Well, Alzheimer’s is tough, but she’s good. 老年痴呆不太好受 但她还不错
[11:14] Good. 很好
[11:15] The Wallace 5th Floor Girls are back together again! 华莱士五楼女孩们重聚了
[11:20] God, when was the last time we were all together? 老天 我们上次聚在一起是什么时候了
[11:22] I think it was two summers ago 我想是两个夏天前了
[11:24] when we came to visit you in your tree, right? 一起去你的树屋拜访你的时候 对吧
[11:25] No, no, no, ’cause Jess couldn’t make it, it was, uh, 不 不 不 那次杰西没时间 是
[11:28] New Year’s Eve, when Blair was in labor. 新年前夜 布莱尔分娩时
[11:30] – Oh, my God. – Crazy. God, – that was three years ago, then. -天哪 太可怕了 -那是三年前的事了
[11:32] Yeah. Well, we only have 55 hours, 是啊 我们只有55个小时
[11:34] so let’s stop wasting our motherfucking time 所以我们别再浪费时间了
[11:37] and let’s get the party started. 让我们开始狂欢吧
[11:40] Yes! Alice, you rock! 是的 爱丽丝 你太牛逼了
[11:42] The party starts now. 派对现在开始
[11:47] Oh, my God. That was a bad idea. 天哪 那是个坏主意
[11:49] – Yeah, we’re in an airport. – That was bad. -是的 我们还在机场 -那很糟糕
[11:51] – That sounded like a gunshot. – Yeah. -听起来像是枪声 -是啊
[11:52] – Let’s go. – Yep. -走吧 -好的
[11:54] Sorry. Our bad. 对不起 我们的错
[11:55] Sorry, everyone, bachelorette weekend. 抱歉大家 单身周末派对
[11:56] I was never here! Never! Move! 我从来没来过这里 从未 让开
[12:12] – Nice Miami house, mami. – Very nice. -迈阿密的房子不错啊 -很不错啊
[12:15] Oh, gracias. Um… 谢谢
[12:17] We are supposed to pick up the keys from the neighbors. 我们应该去邻居家取钥匙
[12:21] Did you bring a bathing suit? 你带泳衣了吗
[12:23] – Hello? – The beach is nice. -有人吗 -好漂亮的沙滩
[12:24] Hi. 你好
[12:25] Sorry, somebody left some keys for… 抱歉 有人留了一些钥匙给
[12:27] – Oh, my goodness. – Oh, sorry, we’ll come back. -天哪 -对不起 我们一会儿再来
[12:29] – So sorry. – Oh, hi, girls. -很抱歉 -你们好 姑娘们
[12:31] No, no, I’m sorry. 不 不 是我很抱歉
[12:33] Let me put something on. 让我戴个眼镜穿点衣服
[12:36] – Come on in. – Very funny. -进来吧 -真有意思
[12:38] – Is it really? – I love it. -认真的吗 -我喜欢
[12:39] Hello. Hi. 你好
[12:41] Thank you. Oh. Hi. Oh. 谢谢您
[12:43] Okay. 好的
[12:44] What brings you to Miami? 什么风把你们吹到迈阿密了
[12:45] Business? Pleasure? 公事 娱乐
[12:48] The business of pleasure? 娱乐业
[12:49] Oh, bachelorette weekend. 单身周末派对
[12:51] Jess is getting married. 杰西要结婚了
[12:53] – Congratulations! – Thank you. -祝贺你 -谢谢您
[12:55] This marriage, will it be open? 是开放婚姻吗
[12:57] You know, we haven’t discussed it. 这个嘛 我们还没有讨论过
[12:59] But, probably closed. Yeah. 但是 基本上已经封闭了 紧闭
[13:01] Tightly, tightly closed. 紧闭 非常紧
[13:03] Lea, does she not remind you 她没提醒你
[13:05] of our French girl from Turks and Caicos? 有个来自特克斯和凯科斯的法国女孩吗
[13:08] She does. 是哦
[13:11] Thank you. Thanks. 谢谢您 谢谢
[13:13] Well, we’re gonna try to keep it down. 好吧 我们会尽量安静一点的
[13:16] Oh, well, we’ll try not to. 好的 我们会尽量折腾的
[13:19] Ah! Yes! 是啊
[13:20] – They’re serious. – Go. Go, go, downstairs. -他们是认真的 -走 走 下楼
[13:22] She is delicious. 她真可口
[13:24] I want that. 我想要她
[13:30] Ooh, yes. 不错啊
[13:32] Oh, Real World, baby! Miami! 真实世界 宝贝 迈阿密
[13:35] Ew. This house represents everything I hate. 真恶心 这房子代表了我所讨厌的一切
[13:38] I’m gonna go take a protest dump. 我要去拉坨抗议翔
[13:40] I call the room next to Jess! Ah. 我先预定杰西隔壁的房间
[13:42] Oh, I think that room has bunk beds, 那个房间好像是双层床
[13:43] so you’re gonna have to share with Pippa. 所以你得和皮帕分享了
[13:45] Uh, who that? 那是谁
[13:47] Pippa, my Australian friend from semester abroad. 皮帕 我留学时的澳大利亚朋友
[13:49] She’s been CC’d on, like, every single email. 我每封邮件都提到了她
[13:51] Oh, right. 是哦
[13:53] Well, if my snoring bothers her, 好吧 如果我的打鼾打扰到她
[13:54] she can take the couch. 她可以睡沙发
[13:54] Or she can just start on the couch and we’ll go from there. 或者她干脆就先睡沙发然后再说吧
[13:56] We’ll figure it out. She’ll start on the couch. 我们会解决的 她先睡沙发
[14:00] – Blair. – What? -布莱尔 -怎么了
[14:01] Can you be careful with the red wine on the white carpet, please? 白地毯上喝红酒小心好吗
[14:04] My biggest and only donor 我最大也是唯一的捐款人
[14:06] generously lent us this house for the weekend. 慷慨地把这房子借给我们过周末
[14:08] – So, please be careful. – Okay. -所以 务必小心 -好的
[14:11] I’m telling you, she’s got bigger problems than a wine stain 我告诉你 如果她想以340万的价格
[14:13] if she wants to sell this place for 3.4 in this market. 出售这个地方 她有比酒渍更大的问题
[14:16] – How do you know that? – Zillow. -你怎么知道的 -Zillow[房产网站]
[14:18] – I Zillow everybody. – Really? -我Zillow所有人 -真的
[14:20] Like, do you know how much my house is worth? 你知道我的房子值多少钱吗
[14:24] – Mmm-hmm. – Okay, atención. -知道 -好的 集中注意力
[14:26] Bachelorette kit time. 单身派对套装时间
[14:27] Let me get your attention. 都看过来
[14:29] We got it all. 都准备好了
[14:30] Bride-to-be bathrobe for our lovely Jess, 为我们可爱的准新娘杰西准备的浴袍
[14:33] penis straws, penis sunglasses, 鸡鸡吸管 鸡鸡墨镜
[14:35] penis sprinkles, penis gum, 鸡鸡喷剂 鸡鸡口香糖
[14:37] penis hats, penis pasta. 鸡鸡帽 鸡鸡意大利面
[14:39] And yes, I did get a little drunk and ate some of that dry. 是的 我确实喝酒干吃了一点儿
[14:42] – Don’t judge. – No judgment. -别批判我 -不会的
[14:44] Also, I wrote you a card. 另外 我给你写了一张卡片
[14:45] But don’t read it now, read it later. 但现在不要看 以后再看
[14:47] – Thanks, Alice. – Yeah. -谢谢 爱丽丝 -不客气
[14:52] Frankie? 弗兰基
[14:53] Frankie? Frankie. 弗兰基 弗兰基
[14:55] Oh, my God! 我滴老天爷
[14:58] What? 什么
[14:59] – Oh, my God. – Oh, yes, mami. -天哪 -是的 老妈
[15:01] Is that a sex swing? 那是个性爱秋千吗
[15:03] Ooh, your donor is a freak, Jess. 你的捐款人是个怪胎 杰西
[15:05] Please. She rents this house out. 拜托 她把这房子租出去了
[15:07] I’m sure somebody else left it here accidentally. 我肯定是别人不小心把它落在这里了
[15:09] And installed a load-bearing beam to support it accidentally. 还一不小心安装了承重梁
[15:11] – Yeah. – Oh, my God, Jess. -是啊 -天哪 杰西
[15:13] I want to audition some dresses for tonight. 我想试穿一些今晚的衣服
[15:14] I brought 14. Come on! 我带了14件 快点
[15:22] Jess, if you are working, 杰西 如果你在工作
[15:23] – I’m gonna smack you in the face right now. – I’m not. I’m not. -我就要扇你了 -我没有 没有
[15:25] One second. I’m gonna smack your face. 一秒钟 我要扇你了
[15:26] – Wait, wait, let me send it. Send, send, send. – Put it down. -等等 让我发出去 发送 -放下它
[15:28] All right, come on, let’s take a picture. 好的 来吧 我们照张相
[15:30] – Say, um, “Miami forever.” – Uh, forever. -说 永远迈阿密 -永远
[15:34] You want us in the picture or not? 你们不想让我们在照片里吗
[15:35] Do you guys want us in the photo… 我们不能在照片里吗
[15:37] – We’re here, too. – Oh, my gosh, -我们还在呢 -天哪
[15:39] we both look killer in that. Cool. 我们太上镜了 酷
[15:40] I’m so bummed I can’t tag you in this, on Facebook. 我太失望我不能在脸书上给你贴标签
[15:42] Why did you delete your account? 你为什么删除你的帐户
[15:43] I had to. You were, you were tagging me 我不得不这么做 你给我贴的标签
[15:45] on things that could literally ruin my career. 可能真的会毁了我的事业
[15:47] Yeah. 是啊
[15:49] It’s Pip! She’s here! 是皮帕 她来了
[15:50] – What? Who’s that? – Hi! -什么 那是谁 -你好吗
[15:52] Pip! 皮帕
[15:55] Sorry. Whoops. 对不起
[15:57] I’m sorry. Whoops. Hey. 抱歉
[15:58] Hello, hello, hello. 你好 你好 你好
[16:01] Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 天哪 天哪
[16:04] You’re a goddess. You’re literally a goddess. 你是女神 你真是个女神
[16:08] – Guys… – Hi. -姐妹们 -你们好
[16:09] This is Pippa. 这是皮帕
[16:11] – Hello. – The famous… -你们好 -传说中的
[16:13] Frankie, Blair, Alice. 弗兰基 布莱尔 爱丽丝
[16:15] Hey, what’s up? 你好
[16:16] My God, you guys are meeting for the first time, this is so exciting. 天哪 你们第一次见面 真令人兴奋
[16:18] – I know. – Nice to meet you. -我知道 -很高兴认识你
[16:20] This is so weird, you guys, because it’s sort of like 这太奇怪了 因为你们这些家伙就像是
[16:24] you’re all Jess’s best friends, I’m Jess’s best friend. 杰西最好的朋友 我是杰西最好的朋友
[16:26] And so it’s sort of like we’re all already best friends, you know? 所以我们都是最好的朋友 你知道吗
[16:30] Well, it’s a little different for us, sorry to interrupt, 不能混为一谈 抱歉打断一下
[16:33] but, uh, Jess and I were freshman year roommates, 但是 杰西和我是大一的室友
[16:36] so it’s kind of like family. Eh. 所以我们像家人一样
[16:38] – I know, I know. – Um, okay, I’m going to grab a chair. -我知道 我知道 -好的 我去拿把椅子
[16:41] Feel free to gel. 你随意
[16:43] Just gonna sit on my suitcase here. 我就坐在我的手提箱上吧
[16:45] Ooh. I’m famished. 我要饿死了
[16:47] – Do you want my leftovers? – Oh, shoot. We just finished. -你要我的剩菜吗 -该死 我们刚刚吃完
[16:49] No, I was gonna wrap that up and take it to go. 不 我要打包带走
[16:50] I think we’re done. Check, please! 我想我们吃完了 结账
[16:52] It’s okay. 没关系
[16:53] I’m just gonna take some of this bread from the bread basket. 我从面包筐里拿些面包吃
[16:56] When you got bread and Vegemite, you got yourself a meal. 有面包加澳洲臭豆腐酱 你就可以开饭了
[16:59] What? Vegemite? 什么 啥臭豆腐酱
[17:01] They should call you cuckoos instead of Kiwis. 他们应该叫你布谷鸟而不是猕猴桃
[17:03] Am I right? 我说得对吗
[17:04] Alice. Oh, my God. 爱丽丝 我的天
[17:05] That’s funny on several levels, 你的话有好几层笑点
[17:07] because I’m actually Australian and a Kiwi is a New Zealander. 因为我是澳洲人 而新西兰人才被叫猕猴桃
[17:10] There’s nothing wrong with being a Kiwi, we all love Kiwis, 被叫做猕猴桃其实没什么 我们都爱猕猴桃
[17:13] but, um, it’s sort of like calling a Chinese person Japanese. 但是吧 这有点像称呼一个中国人为日本人
[17:16] It’s just sort of like, little bit racist 就有一丢丢种族歧视的感觉
[17:18] to not recognize the cultural differences there, you know? 没有区分两地的文化差异 你懂我的意思吧
[17:21] Oh, my gosh. 我的天
[17:22] Eat me out. It’s a fruit, Kiwi. 猕猴桃不就是一种水果嘛
[17:24] I’ll take it. 我无所谓的啦
[17:27] Pippa, what do you do? 皮帕 你做什么工作
[17:28] Well, singer-songwriter is the dream. 我的梦想是成为唱作歌手
[17:31] Uh, party clown is the reality. 但现实中我其实是派对小丑
[17:34] Hmm. Check. Just, anyone, a check. -嗯嗯 -结账 来个人结账
[17:37] A chair. 椅子来了
[17:38] Oh, a chair. 椅子来了
[17:43] I’m so excited to see you. It’s been so long. 我真的很开心见到你 太久没见了
[17:45] Tell me everything. 和我讲讲你最近的情况
[17:45] I’m dying. The flight was literally amazoir. 我快死了 我的航班真的太棒了
[17:52] Uh, it’s toast, toast time. 现在我们该干杯了
[17:55] Raise your glasses, Jess. 举起你的酒杯 杰西
[17:57] Gosh, I can’t believe you’re getting married. 天哪 我真不敢相信你要结婚了
[18:00] Feels like just yesterday you were showing me 一切好像不过是昨天发生的一样
[18:03] how to hide that cat scratch on my face with that cover-up. 还记得你教我用遮瑕膏遮住脸上的猫抓印
[18:05] I remember that. 我也记得
[18:07] And even though we don’t get to see you all the time 虽然我们不常见到你
[18:09] because you’re so busy with Peter and the campaign and 因为你不是跟皮特在一起就是在忙竞选
[18:12] changing your Brita filters or whatever it is you white people do 更换净水器或是做白人爱做的那些事
[18:16] I love you, and you’re my best friend. 我爱你 你是我最好的朋友
[18:21] Uh… To me and Jess. 为我和杰西干杯
[18:24] – Be-cheers. – Cheers. Again. – 干杯 – 干杯
[18:26] I love you, Alice. Thank you. 爱丽丝我爱你 谢谢你
[18:27] Three toasts is the limit tonight, though. You’re cut off. 不过你今晚最多敬三次酒 不能再多了
[18:29] If you’re gonna do another one, do it now, 如果你想再敬一次酒 现在就来吧
[18:31] ’cause I’m gonna go to the bathroom. 因为我正好要去洗手间
[18:32] – Do you want to come? – Why would I come with you? – 你要一起来吗 – 我为什么要和你一起去
[18:34] It’s a heteronormative thing that girls do. 这只是女生们爱做的一件反常的事
[18:37] Okay, guys, no one responded to my emails 好吧 各位 没人回复我
[18:39] about which club we were gonna go to, 关于我们要去哪个俱乐部的邮件
[18:40] so I printed out the top 10 according to Yelp. 所以打印了大众点评上的前十名
[18:44] I have my personal favorite, but I don’t want to sway anyone, so… 我有我自己的最爱 但我不想影响你们 所以
[18:47] – Is it the one that’s circled in big red? – Yeah. -是那个用红笔圈出来的吗 -是的
[18:49] I was kind of hoping that we could make it an early night. 我有点希望我们能早点回房睡觉
[18:54] Yeah, right. What? 哈哈是啊 等下你说啥
[18:57] – That doesn’t feel right. – No, I’m just so exhausted. -这感觉不太好 -不 我只是太累了
[18:59] I mean, I’ve been so overworked… 我是说 我最近工作太忙了
[19:00] No, not gonna happen, baby girl, all right? 宝贝 别想了不可能的 好吗
[19:02] ‘Cause this is the biggest weekend of our lives, all right? 因为这是我们人生中最盛大的周末 好吗
[19:07] Ooh, girls. Ooh, girls. 啊哈 姐妹们
[19:09] I just got some coke from the busboy. 我刚从勤杂工那里搞了些可卡因
[19:11] – You fucking what? – What? – 你他妈的拿了什么 – 什么
[19:12] America. Already? 这很美国
[19:13] Sort of right on the nose. 太真实了
[19:15] – Yes, okay, now we’re talking. – Ba-bam! Booyah! -好的 我们现在正式进入正题 -哦耶
[19:17] Now, okay, I’m in. I’m in. 让我插句话
[19:18] Okay, guys, I can’t do any cocaine. 姐妹们 我不能吸可卡因
[19:21] I’m running for office. 我在竞公职
[19:23] What? No one’s gonna find out you did a little coke… 啥 没人会发现你吸了一点可卡因的
[19:24] – Stop. – Did a little coke at your bachelorette. -别说了 -在你的单身派对上
[19:27] I haven’t really done drugs myself since I sort of… 我很久没有嗑药了 因为我有点
[19:30] I smoked this bit of shoji root 我抽了一点日本货
[19:33] on an excursion in the desert, and I died. 在一次沙漠旅行中 然后我死了
[19:38] Anyway, I’m very jet-lagged, 总之 我现在还没太倒过来时差
[19:40] so I will do cocaine, yes. 所以我想吸可卡因
[19:41] So everyone’s in? Yep? 所以大家都来对吧
[19:43] You guys, hold on. I don’t know. 你们等一下 我不知道要不要来
[19:45] Stop being a stupid fucking cunt and do a little fucking cocaine! 别他妈矫情了 赶紧的吸点可卡因
[19:49] Jesus, Frankie. 我的天哪弗兰基
[19:51] Sorry, I did a little bit of it. 抱歉 我刚吸了一点
[19:54] Jess. 杰西
[19:57] It would mean… 这对我来说
[20:01] It would mean so much to me, 这对我来真的很重要
[20:05] if we could do a little bit of cocaine together. 如果我们能一起吸点可卡因
[20:12] So disgusting! 真恶心
[20:14] Let me get a little more. Yep. 再多给我点
[20:16] Before, I was very tired, and now I’m sort of very awake. 我刚超级累 现在超级清醒
[20:21] That’s the cocaine. 那可是可卡因啊
[20:22] I figured. Yeah. 我猜是的
[20:23] I love this. I love Miami! 我喜欢这个 我爱迈阿密
[20:26] Yeah, girl! Miami! 是的 姐妹们 迈阿密
[20:32] Okay, now put on these fucking sashes. 好了 现在快戴上这些肩带
[20:42] ♪ Trouble ♪ ♪ 麻烦 ♪
[20:43] ♪ I don’t look for trouble, but trouble looks for me ♪ ♪ 我可不想惹麻烦 但麻烦就是要找上我 ♪
[20:46] ♪ And it’s been waiting around corners since I was 17 ♪ ♪ 它从我17岁起就一直缠着我 ♪
[20:50] ♪ They say, “Here comes a hurricane Trouble is her middle name” ♪ ♪ 他们说 飓风来了 麻烦是她的中间名 ♪
[20:54] ♪ But I don’t look for trouble, yeah, trouble looks for me ♪ ♪ 但我可不想惹麻烦 是麻烦要找我 ♪
[20:58] ♪ I just want to live a quiet life ♪ ♪ 我只想过平静的生活 ♪
[21:01] ♪ I’ll make an excellent wife ♪ ♪ 我会成为一个优秀的妻子 ♪
[21:02] ♪ Man, I swear I really try ♪ ♪ 我发誓我真的尽力了 ♪
[21:06] ♪ But some boys, they just can’t eat it whole ♪ ♪ 但是有些男孩他们就是无法接受 ♪
[21:08] ♪ Trouble is my name, you know ♪ ♪ 麻烦就是我的名字 ♪
[21:15] Thank you! 谢谢
[21:22] Oh, my God! 我的天哪
[21:27] Oh, my God! No, no, no. 我的天 这不能喝
[21:29] Man, it smells like barf over here. 姐妹 这闻起来像呕吐物
[21:30] Let’s get the fuck out of here. God! 让我们快离开这里
[21:50] ♪ Knock ’em back, one, two ♪ ♪ 击退他们 一 二 ♪
[21:52] ♪ But it’s gettin’ kinda blurry ♪ ♪ 但视线开始模糊了 ♪
[21:53] ♪ Get blurry with it ♪ ♪ 开始变得模糊 ♪
[21:55] ♪ Got my eyes on you ♪ ♪ 我在盯着你了 ♪
[21:56] But you’re gettin’ kinda blurry, no hurry with it ♪ 但你看起来有点模糊 别着急 ♪
[21:59] ♪ Rock your body, and it all makes sense ♪ ♪ 摆动你的身体 一切就都好了 ♪
[22:02] ♪ Got me up under your influence ♪ ♪ 让我在你的影响下起来 ♪
[22:04] I’m getting us drinks. 我去给我们拿喝的
[22:06] ♪ Knockout blurry, no worries ♪ ♪ 击倒模糊 不用担心 ♪
[22:08] You guys, you guys, let’s get Jess a stripper! 姐妹们 我们给杰西找个脱衣舞男吧
[22:12] – Yes! – Oh, yeah. – Okay. -对哦 -好啊 -好啊
[22:14] Right? 对吧
[22:15] You guys, you guys, you guys, male or female, though? 姐妹姐妹 不过我们找男人还是女人啊
[22:19] – Male. – I’m thinking male for her. -男人 -我觉得应该给她找男人
[22:21] Okay, I got it. 好的 我明白了
[22:25] Frankie, do you have a tampon? 弗兰基 你有卫生棉条吗
[22:27] – I need one. – Uh-huh, yup. -我需要一个 -嗯有的
[22:29] – Thank you. – Got one. Here we go. -谢了 -搞定一个 走起
[22:30] What day of your flow are you on? 你今天是第几天啊
[22:33] Oh, no, no. It’s our code. 哦不是不是 这是我们的暗号
[22:36] In college, we would ask each other for tampons 在大学时 我们假装互要卫生棉条
[22:38] if some guy was skeezing us out and we wanted to be saved. 如果有男的在贴着我们而我们需要人来救
[22:41] You just say “tampon,” and they run. 你只要说 卫生棉条 他们就跑了
[22:43] Oh, my God, I love that. 我的天 我喜欢这个暗号
[22:44] I used to use tampons, but now I use David cups. 我以前用卫生棉条的 但现在我用戴维杯
[22:48] – You mean DivaCups. – No, no, David. -你是说月事杯吧 -不不 戴维杯
[22:51] They were designed by my neighbor, David, 它们是我的邻居戴维设计的
[22:53] to collect blood for an art installation he’s doing. 他正在为他的一个艺术装置收集血液
[22:55] Let’s stop talking about periods now. 我们别再谈论经期了吧
[22:58] Cool. 好
[22:59] Alright everybody, we have a special request 各位 我们收到一个特殊请求
[23:01] from a Caucasian named Alice! 来自拥有高加索名字的爱丽丝
[23:04] That’s me. I’m Caucasian Alice. 那是我 我是高加索人爱丽丝
[23:07] Bring all your girls up here. Grab ’em. 把你的姐妹都带到这里来
[23:09] Jess, come on. Come on. 杰西 来吧
[23:10] Give her the drinks. Go on. Girls, get up there. 把饮料给她 姐妹 我们上台
[23:14] We won the talent show freshman year with this little routine. 我们大一的时候用这个舞蹈赢了才艺秀
[23:17] Might want to stand back. No, physically, get back! 我劝你往别掺和 不是 是说你站远点
[23:20] Okay. 好的
[23:22] If you didn’t go to college with us 你没和我们一起上大学
[23:23] you’re not in the routine. 所以你不能跳这舞
[23:24] Okay, get into places. 大家站好位
[23:27] ♪ All you ladies pop your pussy like this ♪ ♪ 姐妹们撑开你的桃花源 ♪
[23:30] ♪ Shake your body, don’t stop, don’t miss ♪ ♪ 摆动你们的身体不要停 ♪
[23:32] ♪ All you ladies pop your pussy like this ♪ ♪ 姐妹们撑开你的桃花源 ♪
[23:34] ♪ Shake your body, don’t stop, don’t miss ♪ ♪ 摆动你们的身体不要停 ♪
[23:36] ♪ Just do it, do it, do it, do it, do it now ♪ ♪ 只管做 做就好了 赶快做 ♪
[23:41] ♪ Lick it good, suck this pussy ♪ ♪ 舔好了 尝好了 ♪
[23:43] ♪ Just like you should ♪ ♪ 这是你应该的 ♪
[23:45] ♪ My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack ♪ ♪ 我的脖子 我的背 舔我下面 ♪
[23:49] ♪ My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack ♪ 我的脖子 我的背 舔我的那里和那里 ♪
[23:54] ♪ My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack ♪ ♪ 我的脖子 我的背 舔我的那里和那里 ♪
[23:58] You’re doing so good! 你们太棒了
[23:59] ♪ Lick it now, lick it good ♪ ♪ 现在好好舔 ♪
[24:01] ♪ Lick this pussy just like you should ♪ 这是你应该的
[24:04] ♪ Right now, lick it good ♪ ♪ 现在好好舔 ♪
[24:06] These are my new friends. 这些是我的新朋友
[24:08] ♪ My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack ♪ ♪ 我的脖子 我的背 舔我的那里和那里 ♪
[24:10] Jess, Jess, Jess! 杰西 杰西
[24:19] Did anybody see me fall? 有人看见我摔倒吗
[24:21] – Everybody saw. Everybody saw. – No. Well, yeah. -大家都看到了 -没有啦
[24:22] Alice! You fell! 爱丽丝 你摔倒了
[24:25] It was be-gorgeous! 跳的太棒了
[24:27] Jess, you were supposed to catch me. 杰西 你应该抓住我的
[24:30] You know, I forgot that one part. I’m so sorry. 我忘了那部分了 真的对不起
[24:32] It’s a pretty important part! 这可是一个相当重要的部分啊
[24:34] Would some more cocaine make you feel better? 我们再来点可卡因会让你感觉好点吗
[24:37] Yes! 会
[24:43] This Montepulciano is majestic and rebellious. 这个蒙特布查诺酒很威严叛逆
[24:47] Tell me, what are you tasting? 告诉我 你尝到了什么味道
[24:50] Pepper. 胡椒的味道
[24:51] Pass. I need more time. 我先不说了 我要再感受一下
[24:54] Forest floor. 森林的表面
[24:55] Licorice. 甘草
[24:57] There’s a nostalgia to it, you know? 感觉有点怀旧
[24:59] You are all correct! 你们说的都对
[25:02] Yes! I need more time. 是的 我需要再感受一下
[25:08] It’s Jess. 是杰西
[25:09] – Take it. – Okay. Hello. -接电话啊 -好的 喂
[25:12] I’m drunk! I lost two credit cards already. 我喝醉了 我已经丢了两张信用卡
[25:15] Oh, no. Okay. 我的天
[25:17] Well, it’s getting pretty wild over here, too. 我们这里其实也开始疯狂起来了
[25:19] Really? 真的吗
[25:20] I’m getting, like, a light beeswax. 我尝到了很淡的蜂蜡的味道
[25:22] Oh, I like that. Oh. 哇我喜欢
[25:23] Jess, guy says that we can drive his Lambo. 杰西 这个人说我们可以开他的兰博基尼
[25:26] – I, um, I… Babe, I got to go. – All right. -宝贝我得挂了 -好的
[25:29] Call me when you’re home safe. 安全到家后记得给我打电话
[25:30] – I will. I love you. – Love you, too. -我会的 我爱你 -我也爱你
[25:32] Get off the phone. 挂了电话吧
[25:34] Are we ready to get crazy? 我们准备好来点刺激的了吗
[25:36] Yeah. Sure. 是的 必须的
[25:38] This Lambrusco is served… 这瓶朗布鲁斯
[25:42] Chilled! 是冰镇的
[25:49] Do you guys remember Michelle? 你们还记得米歇尔吗
[25:50] Oh, Michelle, she was obsessed with Nickelback. 米歇尔啊 记得她很迷硬币背面
[25:56] Ooh, beauty, Jess! 秀啊 杰西
[25:58] – I know what this soiree needs. -What? -我知道这晚会需要什么 -什么
[26:01] Pizza! 披萨
[26:02] Yeah! 没错
[26:04] Pizza! Pizza! Yes, yes, yes. 披萨 披萨 是的 是的
[26:06] Yes! Nice! Sweet! 太棒了 好开心
[26:08] Okay, I love her. 好 我爱她
[26:09] – Right? – Yes. -真的吗 -对
[26:11] She is… Be-mazing? I don’t know how she would say it, 她很 惊人 我不知道她如何形容
[26:13] but she is incredible! 但她很不可思议
[26:14] I am telling you, she is one of us. 我告诉你 她和我们是一路人
[26:17] – She is so free-spirited. – Totally. -她太放飞自我了 -一点没错
[26:19] – I just… I love her. – I don’t know about that. -我 我爱她 -我没注意到
[26:21] – I totally feel it. – Do you guys feel like -我完全感觉到了 -你们觉得吗
[26:23] she’s here on a work visa, 她是持工作签证来这的
[26:26] or, like, a tourist visa or, like, illegally? 还是旅游签证 也许是非法入境
[26:29] – Like, what’s her deal? – What, dude? -她是怎么情况 -什么 伙计
[26:31] – She’s here for a bachelorette party. – That is crazy. -她是来参加单身派对的 -这很疯狂
[26:33] Build a wall. I just, like, don’t… 别告诉她 我 好像 不
[26:34] I don’t want to do anything illegal tonight. 我今晚不想作法律的死
[26:36] What? You don’t? 什么 你不想
[26:37] You just snorted a mound of cocaine. 你刚吸了一堆可卡因
[26:39] – Simultaneously. – That was, like, in the name of Jess. -就刚才 -那其实 是以杰西之名
[26:42] That was, like, for Jess. 那是 为了杰西
[26:44] – Don’t put that on me. – Oh, check you out. -别赖在我身上 -你看看你
[26:45] You’re literally cuckoo. 你真是个沙雕
[26:47] I’m just, like, voicing what some people are thinking, 我只是 道出了某些人的心声
[26:48] you know what I mean? 你懂我的意思吗
[26:50] Do you have snags? 你有困难吗
[26:52] Okay, no snags. 好吧 一切正常
[26:54] Um, is… This is a pizza shop, yeah? 这是家披萨店 对吧
[26:58] God, it is so warm. 天啊 水真暖
[26:59] You guys have to get in. Mmm, 你们也下来吧
[27:01] I am coming. 我来了
[27:03] I am gonna warn you now. 现在我要提前说一声
[27:04] Uh, did not have time to self-wax, 有段时间没蜜蜡除毛了
[27:07] so it is like a jungle down there. 所以那里像个丛林
[27:09] – Self-wax? – Yeah. -自助蜜蜡除毛 -是的
[27:10] Like, with those weird little, like, paper strips? 就是 那些奇怪的纸条吗
[27:13] Yikes, dude. 是啊 姐妹
[27:15] Even I’m like, “Yikes, dude.” 我都想说 是啊 姐妹
[27:17] Look, you guys, I don’t understand. 看看你们 我不明白
[27:20] Why all the hate? 为什么这么讨厌
[27:22] Mmm. Okay, I got it, I got it. 好的 我去开门 我去
[27:23] Well, that was fast. But, seriously, 这么早就到了 但是 说真的
[27:25] we’re gonna talk about this self-wax thing later. 我们晚点再说自我润滑的事吧
[27:27] Okay, come on. Ooh. 好的 赶快
[27:34] – Hey… – Oh, not bad. -你好 -还不赖
[27:35] Stripper’s here! 跳脱衣舞的来了
[27:38] You guys! Yes! 你们 棒
[27:40] I don’t want a stripper! 我不要脱衣舞男
[27:41] Did you bring a CD or anything? 你带了唱片之类的吗
[27:42] Like, Now That’s What I Call Music! or anything? 比如流行歌合辑之类
[27:45] – No. No, I didn’t. – No? It’s all right. -不 我没带 -没带 没事
[27:47] I got some pretty filthy music on my phone. 我手机上有些非常污污的音乐
[27:48] – I’ll hook you up. – Thanks. -我要撩你 -谢谢
[27:53] Hey, um, I, uh, I got to take a piss. 我 我要尿尿
[27:56] Oh, yeah, there’s a bathroom down there. 行 那儿有卫生间
[27:59] All right. 好吧
[28:00] It’s, like, down there. 就在 那儿
[28:04] I bet he’s going to fluff his junk! 我打赌他要洗白白
[28:05] Let’s give him room, let’s make a stage 我给他腾出空间 搭个舞台
[28:08] You guys, I don’t want a stripper. 姐妹们 我不要脱衣舞男
[28:09] I think he looks like he’s on something. 我觉得他好像有事
[28:11] He’s definitely on something. Like bath salts. 他肯定有事 比如浴盐
[28:14] Oh, my God, he’s gonna eat our faces. 天啊 他会吃了我们的
[28:16] Oh, God, he would! 天啊 他会的
[28:17] Ugh, this vintage remote is so confusing. 这个老式遥控器真让人困惑
[28:19] I’ve never even had a striptease. I mean… 我从没跳过脱衣舞 我是说
[28:22] Nope. Well, there was that one time. 不 好吧 以前跳过一次
[28:25] Maybe somebody else should go. 也许其他人应该去跳
[28:26] – Stripper. Stripper, stripper. – So, this is Jess, -脱衣舞男 舞男 -这是杰西
[28:28] the bride-to-be, your subject, okay? 准新娘 你的服务对象 知道吗
[28:31] And lucky for you, so lucky, 你很幸运 太幸运了
[28:34] you get to do whatever you want. 你能为所欲为
[28:36] Fuck her! 上了她
[28:37] – Alice! – Jesus. -爱丽丝 -天啊
[28:38] – Too much. – What? If it happens. -太过分了 -什么 如果真要这样
[28:41] Okay, whoo! Here we go. Do it. 好 来吧 上
[28:45] First layer, off. 第一件 脱掉
[28:48] I touch myself 我要自摸了
[28:50] Oh, shit. Yeah! 哇 来了
[28:53] – Okay. – Come on, Jess! -好 -加油 杰西
[28:54] Here he comes. He’s looking at me. 他来了 他在看我
[28:59] Ooh, happy Boxing Day. 节礼日快乐
[29:01] Yes! 好
[29:02] It’s kind of turning me on, but I really have to pee, 我越来越兴奋了 但我真的要尿尿
[29:04] so it’s, like, so confusing. 这很 令人疑惑
[29:06] Mansploitation, bitch! Yes! 迎男而上 小婊砸 对
[29:09] Let’s get to the beans, let’s get to the beans. 摸豆豆 摸豆豆
[29:11] Yeah, just do it. 上吧
[29:12] Get it over with. Get it over with! 搞定他 搞定他
[29:14] – So good! – Love her. -太棒了 -爱她
[29:17] Make her feel special. 就给她独一无二的感觉
[29:20] Yes! Get that! 好的 开始了
[29:22] Oh, he’s warm. 他很暖和
[29:24] Ooh, all right. I like it. 好的 我喜欢这样
[29:26] Okay. 好的
[29:28] I know you want it, you little slut. 我知道你想要 你这个小骚货
[29:29] Oh, God! No! Ew. 天啊 恶心
[29:31] Gross. You sit down. 下流 你给我坐下
[29:33] So aggressive. 太莽撞了
[29:35] – I’m definitely gay. – Okay, my turn! -我百分百弯的 -好 轮到我了
[29:40] Oh! Oh, shit! 草
[29:42] Holy shit. 天啊
[29:44] I’m good! Hey. 我没事
[29:45] Are you okay? 你还好吧
[29:47] Oh, him? He’s fine. You’re okay, right, bud? 他吗 他很好 你没事吧 兄弟
[29:50] Oh, God. 天哪
[29:52] Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 天哪 天哪
[29:53] Oh, shit! That’s blood! 靠 那是血
[29:54] What the fuck? Oh, God. 这都什么鸟事 天啊
[29:56] Oh, my God, he’s not breathing! 天啊 他没气了
[29:58] Shit! Does anybody know CPR? 草 有人懂心肺复苏吗
[30:00] Oh, my God. I’ll look it up on YouTube! 天啊 我去油管上查一下
[30:04] We got to do something! 我们要想想办法
[30:05] Bugger! It’s playing an advert for toilet tissue. 去你妈的 全是卫生纸广告
[30:08] Jess, do something! 杰西 想想办法
[30:09] Shit. No, no, no. 草 不 不 不
[30:10] Holy shit! 天啊
[30:12] Oh, please, God, please don’t let this happen. 拜托 天啊 千万别死了
[30:14] He’s bleeding out. I can’t stop the blood! 他一直在出血 我止不住
[30:16] I have some Advil. I’ll get it out of my bag. 我有一些布洛芬 我去包里拿出来
[30:19] What’s Advil gonna do, Alice? 布洛芬有什么用 布洛芬
[30:21] – It’s extra-strength, bitch! – Somebody call an ambulance! -它非常有效 -来个人叫救护车
[30:24] Four, five, six, seven, eight… 四 五 六 七 八
[30:26] He doesn’t have a pulse. 他脉搏停了
[30:32] He’s dead. 他死了
[30:36] Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 草 草
[30:45] Turn off the fucking music! 把这该死的音乐关掉
[30:56] Oh, shit. I’m so sorry. 妈的 对不起
[30:58] I didn’t mean to. 我不是故意的
[30:59] Oh, my God. Oh, God, I’m so sorry. 天啊 天啊 对不起
[31:02] I’m so sorry. 真对不起
[31:03] – No, no, no. – Oh, God, the blood, -不 不 不 -天啊 这血
[31:05] it’s going everywhere. 血流得到处都是
[31:07] Paper towels! Somebody get paper towels! 纸巾 快去拿纸巾
[31:08] Why don’t you do something, Blair! 你为什么不出点力呢 布莱尔
[31:10] I’m delegating! 我在发号施令
[31:13] – I killed a guy. – It’s okay. -我杀了个人 -放轻松
[31:15] Oh, God. 天哪
[31:16] Oh, not the bathroom towels. Oh, shit. 别用浴巾 靠
[31:18] What are you talking about! 你在说什么啊
[31:19] Who cares about towels right now? 眼下谁还有心思管毛巾
[31:21] Well, I don’t know! I don’t know what to do! 我不知道 我不知道该怎么办
[31:23] I killed a guy! 我杀了个人
[31:25] Oh, God! 天啊
[31:27] – I killed a guy today. – Okay, okay. -我今天杀了人 -好了 好了
[31:28] – Deep breaths, deep breaths. – “What’d you do?” -深呼吸 深呼吸 -你会怎么做
[31:30] – Deep breath. – “I killed a guy.” -深呼吸 -我杀了人
[31:32] “What have you been up to?” 你还指望什么
[31:34] “Death.” 死吗
[31:37] -Keep it in there. – That’s better. That’s better. -别吐出来 -这样好多了 好多了
[31:40] Time to call the police. Yeah? 该叫警察了 好吗
[31:41] No, no, no, don’t call the police. 不 不 不 别报警
[31:43] We’re all high. 我们都上头了
[31:43] Let’s get rid of the drugs, and then we’ll call the police. 我们先处理掉毒品 然后再报警
[31:46] Yeah, we’ll just, 是的 我们不过要
[31:47] we’ll clean up a dead stripper, cool. 清理一个死脱衣舞男罢了
[31:48] Well, technically, he’s a prostitute. 准确地说 他是个男妓
[31:51] – He’s a prostitute? – No. -他是男妓 -不
[31:54] I got him from Craigslist. 我是从免费广告上找到他的
[31:55] He is a stripper, but then also an escort. 他是个脱衣舞男 但也是个三陪
[31:57] You hired a gigolo? 你找了个小白脸吗
[31:59] Don’t judge sex work, Blair! 别对性工作者说三道四 布莱尔
[32:02] – Oh, my God! – Frankie! -天啊 – 弗兰基
[32:04] You know I’m running for public office! 你知道我在应竞选公职的
[32:05] How could you do this to me? 你怎么能这么对我
[32:06] It’s worse for me. I have two strikes. 对我而言更糟糕 我已经有两次前科了
[32:08] If I get a third, 如果再犯一次
[32:09] I could go to jail for 25 to life. 我要坐25年牢直至无期徒刑
[32:11] I’m not even supposed to be out of the state right now. 我现在甚至不该离开这个州
[32:13] I had to pry my ankle monitor off with a shoehorn to get here! 我用鞋拔取下脚踝监视器才来得这
[32:16] Oh, God. 天啊
[32:18] It’s the chair’s fault. 都怪椅子
[32:19] Fuckin’ shit chair! 草泥马的椅子
[32:22] Wait a minute. You guys, wait a minute! 等等 你们几个 等等
[32:25] It was an accident. Right? 这是个意外 对吧
[32:27] So, like, we’re not gonna get in trouble for an accident. 因此 我们不该因意外而惹祸上身
[32:29] We’re in Florida, Alice. 我们在佛罗里达州 爱丽丝
[32:31] A white dude is dead at the hands of a bunch of women. 一个白人小伙子死在一群女人手里
[32:33] Yeah, white women. 是的 白人女性
[32:35] I’m black, in case any of you have forgotten. 怕你们忘了 我可是黑人
[32:37] I think the only person who’s forgotten that is you. 我觉得只有你才忘了吧
[32:39] How dare you. 谁给你的胆子
[32:41] I rest my case. 我讲完了
[32:43] I knew this weekend was a terrible idea. 我知道这周末不是个好主意
[32:46] What? No. 什么 不
[32:48] This can still be the best weekend of our fucking lives! 这仍是我们操蛋生活中最美妙的周末
[32:51] Let’s just smile a little bit about it. Right? Smile more. 我们来笑一个 好吗 再笑一个
[32:55] Okay, we’re gonna be fine. 好 我们会没事的
[32:57] We’re gonna call the cops, but Jess is right. Definitely. 我们要报警 但杰西说的一点没错
[32:58] We need to make this seem as innocent as possible, 我们要让我们看起来尽可能无辜
[33:00] so let’s get rid of all the drugs. 所以我们把毒品都处理了吧
[33:02] I’m on it. 我来
[33:04] Alice, not by doing them! 爱丽丝 不是让你这样来解决
[33:07] Okay, someone tell me what to do, 随便来个人告诉我该怎么办
[33:09] and I will do it. 我都会照做的
[33:12] What the… 什么情况
[33:15] Oh. Oh. Shit, shit, shit. 靠靠靠 麻烦大了
[33:22] It’s pizza. 送披萨的
[33:24] You guys, what are we gonna do? 大姐们 现在怎么办
[33:26] The house is made of glass. He can see in. 这房子到处都是玻璃 他能看到里面
[33:29] We got to move him, you guys. 我们得把尸体搬开 姐妹们
[33:30] Do it, do it, do it. 动起来 快快快
[33:35] Go, go, go. 快快快
[33:38] Wait, wait, wait, you guys. 别着急 别着急
[33:40] You guys, you guys, you guys, wait, wait, wait. One second. 姐妹们 姐妹们 慢点 别着急
[33:43] Watch the couch. 小心别碰到沙发
[33:48] Shit. Somebody answer the door. 靠 就没人先去应门吗
[33:50] Does anyone have cash for a tip? 谁有给小费的零钱
[33:52] I have Australian dollars. 我有澳元
[33:53] They’re stronger than American dollars. 比美元还好用哦
[34:02] – What’s this? – Leave. -这是啥 -你赶紧走
[34:06] – Oh, God. – Oh, fuck. -我天 -真险
[34:08] I was natural. 我刚才很自然
[34:09] Okay, open it. 打开盒子
[34:11] Open it up. 赶紧打开
[34:13] Oh, yes. 太爽了
[34:15] How can you eat right now? 你现在居然还吃得下
[34:17] Eating is the number one way people deal with stress, okay? 吃是缓解压力最好的方法 懂吗
[34:20] Don’t give me shit. 不懂就闭嘴
[34:22] You guys want some? 你们不来点儿吗
[34:24] – Oh, yeah, I’d go for a slice. – One second. – I’ll have a slice. Yeah. -我来一片 -一会儿吧 -我也来一片
[34:27] Okay, I think now it’s time for us to call the cops, yeah? 好了 我觉得现在可以报警了 对吧
[34:31] Wait, wait, wait. I think we should call a lawyer first, 别别别 我认为应该先找律师
[34:33] so we know exactly what to say during the interrogation. 这样我们就能知道审讯的时候该怎么说了
[34:35] – Okay. – Wait, I’m sorry, what’s going on? -也对 -等会儿 我没听错吧
[34:37] We’re gonna be interrogated? 我们会被抓去审讯
[34:39] We are 100% gonna be interrogated. 我们当然会被审讯
[34:41] Somebody died in a sketchy way. 有人莫名其妙地死了
[34:44] They’re gonna separate us into little cells, 警察会把我们分开关在不同的小隔间里
[34:45] you know, with swinging lights. 你知道吗 用灯不停在你脸上晃
[34:47] The coppers are gonna try to crack us, fucking pigs! 他们会竭尽所能让我们崩溃 死猪猡
[34:50] Okay, let’s definitely call a lawyer, then. 好了 看来确实应该先找律师
[34:53] Oh, my God. My Uncle Jack. 我想到一个人 我叔叔杰克
[34:55] He was on the team that defended Bernie Madoff. 他以前是伯纳德·麦道夫辩护团队里的
[34:57] – Ah, thank God. – Thank God. -谢天谢地 -有救了
[34:59] Wait. We should use a burner phone 等会儿 我们应该用一次性手机打
[35:01] so there’s no record. 这样就不会留下记录了
[35:02] Good idea. That’s actually a good point. 好主意 这一点确实很重要
[35:04] – Shit! – What, Alice? -我靠 -怎么了爱丽丝
[35:06] The foam party! 泡沫派对
[35:08] Should I sell our passes? 我是不是应该把票卖了
[35:12] You’re right. Let’s play it by ear. 你是对的 我们见机行事就好
[35:15] Smart, Jess. 还是你聪明杰西
[35:18] Oh, shit! Peter! 坏了 是皮特
[35:20] – Okay. – I forgot to call him when I got home. -好吧 -我到家的时候忘记给他打电话了
[35:21] – Do not answer that. – I have to. -别接啊 -我得接
[35:23] No! Jess. Jess, stop. 杰西 别 快停下来
[35:24] Hello! 你好呀
[35:25] – Hey, babe. – Hi. How’s it going? -你好 宝贝儿 -你那边一切都好吧
[35:27] – Stop. – Are you home safe? You never called. -别聊了 -你安全到家了吗 没接到你电话
[35:30] – Hang up. Hang up. – Yeah, I am. -赶紧挂了 -我安全到了
[35:31] Yeah, everything’s great. 一切顺利
[35:32] Did you do whippets again? You sound really weird. 你又吸笑气了吗 怎么听上去怪怪的
[35:34] – What? – Is everything all right? -你说啥 -没出什么事儿吧
[35:36] Hang up. Hang up. Hang up. Stop, stop, stop. 快挂电话 快快 别再说了 别别
[35:38] – Peter, something really bad happened. – No. -皮特 我遇到大麻烦了 -别啊
[35:40] – What? – No, this guy came over. -怎么了 -有个男的过来
[35:42] He was a stripper, like, a prostitute. 他是个脱衣舞男 就像男妓那种
[35:44] – A prostitute? – And we were drunk, -一个男妓 -然后我们都喝大了
[35:45] and coked up, and I don’t know what to do. 并且还磕了药 然后我也不知道该怎么办了
[35:47] About what? The wedding? 你指的是什么 婚礼吗
[35:49] Jess, do you still want to get married? 杰西你到底还想不想结婚的
[35:51] – You can’t, you can’t… – No! -不能再说了 -不
[35:53] Jess! 杰西
[35:57] I can’t believe you just did that. 你们怎么能这样对我
[35:58] We can’t talk to anybody 我们现在不能和任何人说这事儿
[35:59] until we consult with a lawyer. 我们得先找律师商量
[36:01] She’s right. You know what, 她说得对 这样吧
[36:02] I’m collecting everyone’s phones until we know what the plan is. 所有人把手机交给我 直到我们想出方案
[36:04] – Agreed? – Yes. Agreed -同意吗 -可以 没问题
[36:07] Fine. 交出来吧
[36:10] – Well, I have a game on it that relaxes me. – Give it. -手机上有我的放松游戏 -拿来吧
[36:14] Thank you. 谢谢
[36:18] Okay, so we got to get this burner phone from a convenience store. 我们必须去便利店买个一次性电话
[36:21] – Smart. – Yeah, good idea. -聪明 -好主意
[36:22] Frankie and I can go. 我跟弗兰基可以去
[36:23] – Great. – Um… -没错 -那个
[36:24] – Or, like, anybody else could go. – Why? -其实可以是其他人 -为啥
[36:27] – Do we argue? – We bicker. Yeah, we bicker. -我们会吵架吗 -我们那个叫斗嘴
[36:30] – It’s true, but… – No. I think that we debate, -就是这样 -我们其实是在辩论
[36:32] which is a normal part of talking. 是一种常规的交流方式
[36:34] That’s funny. That’s the same thing, debating and arguing. 其实这是一回事儿 辩论和争吵
[36:37] – It’s semantics. – “Semantics.” -在语义学的角度上 -语义学
[36:38] Wow, I didn’t realize I was talking to a wordsmith. 原来我正在和一个语言大师说话呢
[36:40] – They used to be lovers, yeah? – Three syllables. -她们曾经是一对 对吧 -三个音节
[36:42] I’m a wordsmith ’cause I read the news regularly. 我是语言大师因为我天天看报纸
[36:44] Is it that obvious? 有这么明显吗
[36:45] I have a sort of a sense of these things 对于这种事我有一种第六感
[36:49] Also, she’s been fixated on her nips. 而且她还一直盯着她的胸部
[36:52] Just because I don’t use Tom’s of Maine deodorant, which, 只是因为我不用”我的汤姆”香体露吗
[36:54] by the way, does not work… 何况那玩意儿还没啥用
[36:55] I don’t use Tom’s deodorant… 我也不用他们家的香体露
[36:57] It’s kind of nasty to watch, isn’t it? 这么看上去还挺暧昧的 不是吗
[37:00] Yeah, so, I call. She picks up. 这样的 我打电话过去 她接起来了
[37:02] She sounds very strange. 她听上去非常怪
[37:04] I know something’s wrong immediately. 我立刻就感觉到不对劲了
[37:05] And then, finally, she admits it. 后来她果然就承认了
[37:07] She says something really bad happened with a prostitute. 她说遇到了大麻烦 还提到一个男妓
[37:08] – Ooh! – That does not mean she cheated. -带劲儿 -这也不能说明她劈腿了
[37:11] But if she was going to cheat, this is when she would do it. 但是如果她想劈腿 这就是时候了
[37:14] – Oh, God. – Miami, bachelorette party. -我天哪 -迈阿密 单身派对
[37:16] It’s pretty classic. 又不是新鲜事
[37:18] It’s not cheating if it’s with a prostitute. Technically. 严格说来 和男妓不能算劈腿
[37:22] – What? – What? Yes, it is. -啥 -什么玩意儿 这当然算
[37:24] Look, guys, we have to have realistic attitudes 哥几个 在身体专一这方面
[37:26] about sexual exclusivity. 我们得现实一点
[37:28] Whatever. It doesn’t even matter, because… 随便吧 都无所谓了 因为
[37:31] I asked her if she still wanted to get married. 我问她到底还想不想结婚
[37:32] She screamed “no” 结果她大叫了一声 不
[37:33] and then she hung up! 就把电话挂了
[37:35] So, guess what, guys, 所以说 哥几个
[37:36] there’s no wedding for you to go to, so return your tuxes. 没有婚礼了 可以把礼服退了
[37:39] No! 别啊
[37:40] – No. Hell, no. – Fine, keep your tuxes, -不能这样 -想留着礼服随你们
[37:42] but my wedding’s off. 不过我的婚礼取消了
[37:44] It’s not a shock, right? 其实这也不是什么大新闻 对吧
[37:45] I mean, buddy, I love you, you’re one of my best friends, 你是我最好的兄弟之一 但我想说的是
[37:49] but you’re a six and she’s a… 你只是个屌丝 而她
[37:52] Twenty. 完全是个女神
[37:54] – Oh, my God. Oh, my God. – He can hear you. -我的天哪 -他能听到
[37:56] Oh, I’m feeling… I’m feeling weak. 我觉得撑不住了
[37:58] I’m feeling dizzy, I’m… 我觉得头好晕
[38:00] Hey, hey, hey, hey. Oh, my God. 老弟 老弟 我的天
[38:02] I knew I shouldn’t date out of my league, I knew it. 我就应该和社团里的妹子在一起
[38:04] When she first asked me out, I thought it was a prank. 她一开始约我的时候我就觉得是个恶作剧
[38:07] I could feel her pulling away, 我能感觉到她在疏远我
[38:08] but I thought it was work. 我还以为是工作上的原因
[38:10] – I’m gonna be sick. – No, no, no. -我想吐 -我的天哪
[38:11] – Give him some Madeira. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. -快给他拿点高度的 -来了 来了
[38:13] Yeah. Peter, that’s it. Just take a sip. 皮特 来了 抿一小口
[38:15] – Bup-bup-bup-bup. – Oh, I’ll get you a soft cheese! -慢点喝 -对了 我去拿一块软奶酪
[38:17] Yes! 快去
[38:20] This is so stupid. 我们看上去太二了
[38:21] Yeah, but this way no one can definitively ID our face. 但这样就没人能认清我们的脸了
[38:25] Old people. Perfect. 是老年人 太好了
[38:28] Any brand is fine. 随便什么牌子都可以
[38:31] What’s that on your face? 你们的脸上是什么
[38:32] A detoxifying mud mask. 排毒泥面膜
[38:34] Look, we need a burner phone, okay? 我们就需要一个一次性电话 明白吗
[38:36] – Here’s some cash. – Again, a burner phone, -给你们钱 -再强调一遍 一次性电话卡
[38:40] and you can find that behind the counter. 在收银台后面就能找到
[38:43] – Okay. We heard you. – Inside. -我们听得见 -去吧
[38:44] You baby boomers are so demanding. 你们这些80后就会提要求
[38:48] I know. 我知道
[38:49] – Jesus. Come on, Ma. – I’m sick and tired of this shit. -走吧 老伴儿 -我真受不了这些年轻人
[38:53] I can’t believe he’s dead. 不敢相信他就这么挂了
[38:56] – And it’s, like, all my fault. – No, no. -而这都是我造成的 -别这么想
[39:00] It really is a tragedy, you know? 这真是个悲剧
[39:04] He could have been a scientist 他或许可以成为一个科学家
[39:06] that was gonna cure cancer or something. 去攻克癌症或者为人类做出别的贡献
[39:09] – It’s nice of you to say. – Yeah. -你能这么说真好 -唉
[39:13] Guys, is he looking, like, straight at me? 姐妹们 他是不是在盯着我
[39:18] – Oh, my God, he’s… – Yeah. Yeah. -我的天哪 -你说得对
[39:19] He’s looking at me, right? 他就是在盯着我 对吧
[39:25] Hi, baby boy. 可怜的小鲜肉
[39:28] Mummy Hubbard’s here. 哈伯德妈妈[童谣中的慈母]在这儿
[39:30] She’s gonna send you home. 她会带你回家
[39:33] Okay. 乖乖地
[39:35] Sleep now. 安息吧
[39:37] – Oh, no. Jesus, no. – No, no, no. – 我的上帝啊 -天哪 我受不了了
[39:40] – Okay, why don’t we… – I don’t like it, I don’t like it, -我觉得我们可以 -我受不了了
[39:41] – I don’t like it. – Guys, I got it. -我受不了了 -姐妹们我找到了
[39:43] I got it. I’m done. 我找到了 来戴上
[39:44] There we go. 这样就好多了
[39:47] He looks good, right? 看上去不差 你们觉得呢
[39:49] Totally. 同意
[39:56] – Oh, my God, Jess. – What? -天哪 杰西 -怎么了
[39:59] Look at this ring. 好漂亮的钻戒
[40:00] It’s even bigger in real life than it is on Skype. 比从视频上看还要大
[40:03] Yeah, he did a good job. 是啊 他眼光不错
[40:05] You guys Skype? 你们还视频聊天呢
[40:06] – Yes. – Oh, do we? -对啊 -我们有吗
[40:08] Yes. 当然有了
[40:10] It’s really nice to just sort of, you know, see the person 当你聊天的时候可以直接看到对方
[40:14] when you’re talking to them. 那种感觉很不错
[40:16] I didn’t know that. 这我还真不知道
[40:18] You don’t know Skype? 你不知道Skype吗
[40:19] Skype is a free video calling app. Skype是一款免费的视频聊天软件
[40:22] No, I know what Skype is. 我知道什么是Skype
[40:23] Jess, you said you couldn’t remember your password. 杰西 你说你忘记Skype的密码了
[40:27] Well, it is really hard to sign in. 我可花了好大功夫才登上去
[40:32] Oh, shit! Shit! 我靠 糟糕
[40:33] – Whose dog is that? – Go away! Go away! -这是谁家的狗 -快让开 走
[40:35] – Go! Go, go. – Charlie? Here, boy! -快走开 -查理你在哪儿 快过来
[40:37] – The owner is coming towards the house. – Oh, God. -狗主人过来了 -上帝啊
[40:39] No, no, no. You’re being too loud. 镇定点 你们太吵了现在
[40:41] I can speak to animals, we have a deep understanding, 我可以和动物对话 我们能互相理解
[40:44] – so I got this. – Charlie? -交给我来处理 -查理你在哪儿
[40:45] – Just go! – Okay, be careful, though. -交给我就行了 -好吧 小心点
[40:46] – Okay. – Here, boy! -知道了 -到这儿来小家伙
[40:48] Okay, Charlie. Come on. 查理 过来
[40:50] Come on, come on. 你好呀 过来
[40:52] Oh, shit! 我勒个去
[40:56] Charlie! 查理
[40:56] You stay. I’m bringing him to you. 你在这 我把他带来
[40:57] This is impossible, anybody can see into the house from the beach. 这不可能 谁都能从海滩上望见屋里
[40:59] – This is crazy. – I know. -这太疯狂了 -我知道
[41:01] If someone reports it before we do, we’re dead. 在解决前如果有人报警 我们就死定了
[41:03] Well, we just… We have to get the body out of sight, that’s all. 我们得把尸体从视线中移开 就这样
[41:06] Yeah, okay. All right. 是的 好的 好吧
[41:07] – Okay. – You all right? -好吧 -你还好吧
[41:09] Good. 没事
[41:10] Oh, my God, Pip, I can see all of his teeth marks. 天哪 皮帕 我都能看到他的牙印
[41:13] That looks really bad. 看起来真的很糟
[41:14] No, no, no. This is… 不 不 不 这不过
[41:16] That’s not… I’m good. 那不是 我很好
[41:18] Yeah, she’s fine. Look at her in the eyes. 没错 她挺好 看她的眼睛
[41:19] Okay? So let’s just get the body out of sight, 好吗 让我们把尸体移出视线
[41:22] and then we’ll put him back before we call the cops. Yeah? 然后在报警之前把他放回去 好吗
[41:24] Let’s do it. Right? 我们开始吧 好吗
[41:26] – Let’s go! – Let’s do it. -动起来 -走起
[41:27] Okay! 可以
[41:28] Hold the door. Hang on one sec. 撑住门 等一下
[41:29] – Got it. – There’s two steps here. Hold on. -知道了 -这里有两个台阶 等等
[41:31] – Yeah, we got it. – Ow. Oh, there’s two steps. -好的 知道了 -有两个台阶
[41:34] – Put him down. – That was me. -把他放下 -刚刚是我
[41:35] Can somebody turn the lights on? 谁能把灯打开吗
[41:37] – I’ll get it. – Oh, there we go. -我去开 -好了
[41:39] Oh, God! 天哪
[41:40] Shit! Alice, cover the body! 倒霉 爱丽丝 把尸体盖上
[41:42] Why? Why? Why? 为什么 为什么 为什么
[41:43] Pippa, what did you do? 皮帕 你做了什么
[41:46] This is a poltergeist situation. 这是见鬼了
[41:48] I’m not doing anything. 我什么都没做
[41:49] All right. There’s got to be a fuse box. 好吧 这里一定有个供电箱
[41:53] Oh, God. There is a taxi. 天哪 来了辆出租车
[41:55] There is a taxi right here. 这里来了辆出租车
[41:57] No! No, no, no. 不 不 不 不
[42:00] No, thank you. 不用了 谢谢
[42:01] – Cover the body. – Hide me. Hide me. -把尸体盖上 -藏起来 藏起来
[42:03] Balls! Jesus Christ. 糟糕 上帝啊
[42:04] Find a quilt. Find a fucking quilt. 找床被子 他妈的找床被子
[42:06] What the… Jesus! 搞什么 天哪
[42:08] – Oh, no. My water broke! My water broke! – What? -哦不 我羊水破了 -什么
[42:11] No, no, I just peed. 不 不 是我刚刚尿了
[42:13] I have no control over this. 我根本控制不了
[42:15] Close, you fuck. 关上 你他妈的
[42:18] Here you go, sir. Thank you. 给你钱 先生 谢谢
[42:19] Thought I peed. I didn’t pee. 我以为我尿了 但其实没有
[42:20] Thank you very much for the ride. Thank you. 非常感谢你载我们 谢谢
[42:22] Safe home! 一路顺风
[42:22] What the fuck is going on in here? 这他妈的到底怎么回事
[42:24] We’re starting a garage band. Do you guys play bass? 我们想组建车库乐队 你们会弹贝斯吗
[42:27] We’re hiding a body. What do you think we’re doing? 我们在藏尸体 你们以为我们在做什么
[42:29] Stop saying “body” so many times. 不要老说 “尸体” 这个词
[42:31] – Alice, what the hell are you doing, man? – Sorry. -爱丽丝 你到底在干什么 -抱歉
[42:32] Come on. God! 拜托 天哪
[42:33] Lift him up with your legs. Lift with your legs. 用你的腿把他抬起来 用腿使劲
[42:36] I swear to God, he’s getting heavier every time. 我向上天发誓 每次都变得更重了
[42:38] Just hold one second. 等一下
[42:39] There’s two stairs up here. No! 这里有两个台阶 不
[42:40] – I got it. – Let’s take a break. Let’s take a break. -知道了 -让我们休息一下 休息一下
[42:42] Break, break, break. 休息 休息 休息
[42:44] – No, no, no. – Okay. -不 不 不 -好的
[42:45] I am out of shape. 我都累走样了
[42:47] – Really good. – Quick question. -真是好 -快速提问
[42:50] Why are we moving the dead stripper? 我们为什么要移动死掉的脱衣舞男
[42:52] The whole house is made out of glass. 整个房子都是用玻璃做的
[42:54] This is impossible. You can see in everywhere. 这行不通 任何方向都能看到里面
[42:57] Where could we put him that he’s not gonna be seen? 我们能把他放哪 才能让他不被看见
[43:12] So, what do you think, Uncle Jack? 杰克叔叔 你怎么说
[43:13] They could charge you with involuntary manslaughter, 他们可以指控你过失杀人
[43:16] but it’s not that easy to prove. 但这并不容易证明
[43:18] – Ah, thank God. – Well, that’s not bad. -感谢上帝 -好吧 那还不算坏
[43:19] – That’s okay. – Just don’t touch the body -没关系 -只是千万别碰尸体
[43:21] – or the scene, and you’ll be fine. – What? -或是现场 你们就没事的 -什么
[43:24] Okay, so actually, we have already 好吧 事实上 我们已经把他
[43:25] moved him to a sex swing, Your Honor. 转移到性爱秋千上了 法官大人
[43:27] What? 什么
[43:28] I said, “Actually, we have already 我说 事实上 我们已经把他
[43:30] moved him to a sex swing, Your Honor.” 转移到了性爱秋千上了 法官大人
[43:32] I heard you. 我听到了
[43:35] You knowingly tampered with the scene, 你们蓄意篡改事发现场
[43:37] which means you’re guilty of accessory after the fact, 这意味着你们犯有事后同谋罪
[43:39] and they’ll have a strong case for involuntary manslaughter. 他们就有了一个必赢的过失杀人案
[43:43] Wait, what does that mean? 等等 那是什么意思
[43:45] Up to 15 years in prison. 最高15年监禁
[43:47] – What? – Fifteen? -什么 -15年
[43:50] Well, what can we do? 好吧 那我们能做些什么
[43:51] Are we on an open line here, girls? 我们用的是公共线路吗 姑娘们
[43:53] – It’s a burner phone. – Good. -是一次性手机 -很好
[43:55] Like I told Rob Lowe, 正如我和罗伯·卢说的那样
[43:57] if there’s no body, there’s no case. 没有尸体 就没有案子
[44:04] We can’t just chop him up. 我们不能就这么把他大卸八块
[44:06] You know what? I’ll just tell the cops it was just me. 这样吧 我就告诉警察是我干的
[44:10] No, we all moved the body. 不 我们都动了尸体
[44:13] It’s a crime. 这是犯罪
[44:14] Well, yeah, but if we just, 好吧 是的 但如果我们
[44:15] like, explain the situation… 比如 解释一下情况
[44:17] What are you talking about, “Explain”? 你说的”解释”是什么意思
[44:19] Last year, a guy in Tampa, he threatened to kill his wife, 去年 坦帕的一个家伙威胁要杀他的妻子
[44:22] so she fired a warning shot, 所以她开了一枪以示警告
[44:23] and she went to jail for 20 years. 然后她被判了20年
[44:26] This country should be burned to the ground! 这个国家应该被夷为平地
[44:31] Shit. 倒霉
[44:34] I was so close. Peter. 我本来已经要成功了 皮特
[44:37] My career. 我的事业
[44:38] It’s all over, just like that. 一切都结束了 就这样
[44:41] I’m gonna do real time. 我可是会坐穿牢底的
[44:43] Maybe life. 也许是终身监禁
[44:45] You guys are gonna get off with a few years. 你们几年后就能出来
[44:46] I can’t do any years. I’m in the middle of a custody battle. 我一年都不行 我正在争取监护权
[44:49] – What? – What? -什么 -什么
[44:50] What? 什么
[44:54] Malcolm and I separated six months ago. 马尔科姆和我六个月前分居了
[44:57] You didn’t tell me. 你没告诉我
[44:59] Yeah, you’ve been a little preoccupied, Jess. 是的 你之前没什么空 杰西
[45:02] Why didn’t you tell me? 你为什么不告诉我
[45:04] I didn’t need your judgment. 我不想你对我有看法
[45:06] Blair, I would never judge you for something like that. 布莱尔 我决不会因为那样的事而批判你
[45:10] Oh, my God, my students. 天哪 我的学生们
[45:13] They idolize me. 他们崇拜我
[45:15] They think I’m, like, the best fucking adult 他们认为我他妈的是整个世界中
[45:18] in the whole fucking world. 最棒的成年人
[45:21] They’ll turn to crime. 他们会变成罪犯的
[45:23] I can’t go to jail. 我不能进监狱
[45:24] I couldn’t even make it through 我连第一集《女子监狱》
[45:26] the first episode of Orange Is the New Black. 都没看完
[45:28] None of us can. 我们谁都不能
[45:30] It’s too soapy, right? 剧情太狗血了 对吧
[45:32] No, I meant none of us can go to jail. 不 我是说谁都不能进监狱
[45:35] Wait, you guys. 等等 大家伙
[45:36] Even if we don’t get charged with this 即使我们没有被指控篡改证据
[45:39] tampering with evidence thing,we don’t know who this man is. 我们都不知道这人是谁
[45:41] His family could come seek revenge. 他的家人可能会来报仇
[45:43] He could be part of a cartel 他可能是贩毒集团的一员
[45:44] that’s gonna cut off our toes and stick them up our bums. 他们会切断我们脚趾贴在我们屁股上
[45:47] She’s right. 她说得对
[45:48] We’ll have to look over our shoulders for the rest of our lives. 我们的余生都将不得不小心翼翼
[45:52] He did say that 他倒是说过
[45:55] it would be hard to convict 没有尸体
[45:58] with no body. 很难定罪
[46:01] I mean, it was an accident. 我是说 这是个意外
[46:04] And he’s not part of an escort company, you know? 他没有经纪公司 知道吗
[46:06] So I don’t think anybody knows he’s here. 所以我觉得没有人知道他来这里
[46:15] We got to get rid of him. 我们得把尸体处理掉
[46:16] – We gotta, right? – Yeah. -我们必须这样 对吧 -是啊
[46:18] – We do. – We have to. -我们得做 -我们必须这样做
[46:19] I mean, we don’t want to. 我是说 我们内心并不想做
[46:20] No, of course we don’t want to. 不 我们当然不想
[46:21] We didn’t want to kill him. 我们不想杀他
[46:22] But we have to. 但我们别无选择
[46:24] – Of course we have to. – Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. -当然我们必须做 -是啊 是的 是的 是的
[46:25] Must. 必须
[46:28] Hey, it’s Blair. Don’t leave a message. 我是布莱尔 请不要留言
[46:30] Okay. That’s it. None of them are picking up. 好吧 就是这样 她们谁都不接电话
[46:33] That means something really bad happened. 这意味着发生了非常糟糕的事情
[46:35] Dude, this is, like, the third girlfriend that’s cheated on you. 伙计 这是第三个对你不忠的女朋友了
[46:39] What is that? What’s going on, buddy? 什么情况 到底怎么了 伙计
[46:41] Does your dick bend weird when it gets hard? 你鸡巴变硬时 会变弯吗
[46:43] No. 不
[46:44] – All right. – Doesn’t matter. -好吧 -没关系
[46:46] Let’s get you on Tinder right now, 我们现在就把你弄到陌陌上
[46:47] so you can start on a rebound. 这样你就重新开始了
[46:49] – No, I don’t want to be on Tinder, okay? – Come on. -不 我不想上陌陌 好吗 -拜托
[46:52] You’ve gotten over other girls, you can get over her. 其他姑娘你都释怀了 这个你也可以的
[46:55] Yeah, this isn’t some girl, this is Jess. 可是这不是普通姑娘 是杰西
[46:57] I’m not gonna get over her, 我根本忘不掉她的
[46:59] you know? And I don’t want to get over her. 知道吗 我也不想忘了她
[47:00] Then, this time, do something about it, Peter. 那么 这一次做点什么 皮特
[47:07] You’re right. 你说得对
[47:08] You’re right, I got to go to Miami, 你说得对 我要去迈阿密
[47:10] and I got to win her back. 让她回心转意
[47:11] Yes, dude. 是的 伙计
[47:11] Okay, okay. 好的 好的
[47:12] Yes. Awesome. 对 好样的
[47:13] The first flight out of Charleston 从查尔斯顿起飞的第一班飞机
[47:15] gets in at 10:00 a.M. tomorrow morning. 是明天上午10点
[47:17] – No. – Oh. There is a train -不 -哦 有一列火车
[47:18] that gets there tomorrow afternoon 明天下午到那里
[47:20] and there’s room in the quiet car. 而且静音车厢有位置
[47:22] Not quick enough. You got to sad astronaut. 不够快 你让宇航员伤心了
[47:25] – What? – Huh? -说啥 -啊
[47:27] He has to sad astronaut. 他不得不让宇航员伤心
[47:29] – Okay, what is that? – That’s nothing to me. -好吧 什么意思 -对我来说没什么
[47:30] – Sad astronaut? – That news story? -让宇航员悲伤 -那个新闻报道
[47:32] Okay. 好吧
[47:35] Lisa Marie Nowak was an astronaut. 丽萨·玛丽·诺瓦克 是一名宇航员
[47:39] And she was in love with another astronaut named Will. 她和另一个叫威尔的宇航员相爱了
[47:42] Now, Will cheated on Lisa with some hottie Air Force captain. 现在 威尔和某个辣妹空军上尉出了轨
[47:45] Lisa found out and was pissed. 丽萨发现了 很生气
[47:49] So, Lisa decided to deal with it. 所以 丽萨决定处理这件事
[47:53] Once and for all. 一劳永逸
[47:53] And she got a bunch of adult diapers, 她搞了一堆成人尿不湿
[47:55] so she wouldn’t have to piss on the way, 这样她就不用在途中上厕所了
[47:57] and she drove straight from Houston to Orlando 她从休斯顿直奔奥兰多
[47:59] to, like, kidnap the Air Force… It’s… The story gets dark quick. 绑架空军 故事很快就变黑暗了
[48:04] Point is, she used that crazy astrophysicist brain 重点是她用了那个疯狂天体物理学家的大脑
[48:09] to find the quickest way to Florida. 找到去佛罗里达最快的路
[48:11] – You… You want to get Jess back, right? – Yeah. -你 你想让杰西回你身边 对吧 -是啊
[48:14] Then you got to sad astronaut, bro. 那你就得让宇航员悲伤了 兄弟
[48:19] Let’s get some diapers. 我们去买尿不湿
[48:36] Not this brand! These leak! 不能买这个牌子 会漏
[48:58] ♪ Straight off the fuckin’ streets of C-P-T ♪ ♪ 沿着这该死的街道广告 ♪
[49:00] ♪ King of the beats, you ride to ’em ♪ ♪ 驾驭节奏之王 ♪
[49:02] ♪ In your Fleet Fleetwood ♪ ♪ 弗利特伍德脚下跨 ♪
[49:03] ♪ Or Coupe de Ville rollin’ on dubs ♪ ♪ 凯迪拉克威尔靠边停 ♪
[49:05] ♪ How you feel? ♪ ♪ 就问你是不是感觉倍儿爽 ♪
[49:06] ♪ Whoopty-whoop, nigga, what? ♪ ♪ 嚯呼嚯呼 老弟你说啥 ♪
[49:08] ♪ It’s the next episode… ♪ ♪ 又是全新一章 ♪
[49:10] Jesus Christ. It’s not that bad. 天哪 应该不会更糟了
[49:13] I think it’s the body on top. 我觉得是因为尸体在上面
[49:16] Okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay. 好的 很好 就这样
[49:19] Okay, wait, does anyone know how to actually drive this thing, or… 好的等下 有人知道如何开这个吗
[49:21] I could do it. 我可以开它
[49:23] I, uh, I took one to school every day growing up, 我从小到大一直开这个去学校
[49:26] so, I feel pretty confident. 所以我很有自信
[49:28] – Great. – Perfect. -很好 -太棒了
[49:30] – Hello! – Oh, shit. -你们好啊 -该死的
[49:32] – Hello! – Oh, my gosh. Shit! -你们好 -哦豁完蛋
[49:34] The neighbors! Get him off. Get him off. 邻居夫妇来了 快把他放下去 快点
[49:36] – Okay, oh, my God. – Oh, my God, what do we do? -好的我天 -天哪 我们该怎么办
[49:37] – No, no…no, no! – Okay. All right. -不要啊 -好的 没事的
[49:42] – So happy to see you. – Okay, uh… -见到你真高兴 -好的
[49:44] – Nope. – Hey, girls. -不行 -姑娘们你们好啊
[49:46] We hoped you were skinny-dipping. 你们最好是要去裸泳
[49:49] No. No. 不是的
[49:50] – Nope. – Okay. -没有 -好吧
[49:51] – My, my. – What do we have here? -哦呀哦呀 -我看到了什么
[49:58] Um, you know, I think they just wanted to 我觉得他们只是想
[49:59] make love in international waters. 在异国他乡一起为爱鼓掌
[50:02] – Ah, yeah. – Maybe they need our help. -没错 -或许他们需要帮助
[50:05] Uh, no. I think we should probably 不用了 我觉得我们或许
[50:07] let them do their thing, you know? 该给他们一点私密空间来办事
[50:09] So, let’s just… 所以我们就
[50:11] Well, this certainly gets me in the mood. 这让我想起了蜜月的时光
[50:14] – Hey, Blair. – Oh. Uh-huh? -布莱尔 -咋啦
[50:15] – You need a tampon? – Um, maybe. -你需要棉条吗 -也许吧
[50:19] We just opened a bottle of Chateauneuf Du Pape, 我们开了一瓶教皇新堡酒
[50:21] and we’re listening to some remastered Fleetwood Mac. 听着重新灌录的Fleetwood Mac
[50:24] – Oh, that’s so nice. – Oh! It is so good, -听上去真不错 -是的 爽爆了
[50:27] you could hear the cocaine in Stevie’s voice. 你可以从斯迪威的嗓音里听出一股可卡因味
[50:29] I bet. We’d love for you to join us. 我确信我们会很欢迎你的加入
[50:30] – Oh, that’s so sweet. – Um, no pressure. -那真太好了 -不必感到压力
[50:32] Unless it’s asked for. 除非是非来不可的
[50:35] Okay. 好了啦
[50:37] I am fully exhausted. 我都有些精疲力尽了
[50:39] – So tired, you know? – Oh, understood. -要累成狗了 -理解理解
[50:41] We’re fluent in body language. 我们懂很多体位
[50:43] Oh, I bet you are. 我确信你们很懂
[50:47] – Goodnight. – Goodnight. -晚安 -晚安
[50:49] All right. 好了
[50:53] Oh, God. 我的天哪
[50:54] Pippa. They’re gone. Pippa. They’re moving out. 皮帕他们走了
[50:56] – What is going on there? – Pippa! -怎么回事 -皮帕
[50:58] – Pippa! – What? -皮帕 -什么
[50:59] Oh, my God. Wow. 这就完了
[51:01] Yeah. Okay. 好的 很好
[51:05] – Sorry. – Wow, dude. -不好意思 -真行啊老兄
[51:06] – Let’s dump him, yeah? – Yeah, let’s dump him. -咱们来丢他吧 -好 把他扔到海里
[51:09] Let’s do the dump. 扔就完事了
[51:15] Okay, Spanish language CDs. 好的 还有西班牙语的唱片
[51:18] Uh, if Jess hooked up with a Spanish speaker, 要是杰西和一个西班牙人搞上了
[51:19] – you’re gonna want to reason with him. – Gracias. -你也可以跟他讲道理 -感谢
[51:22] Oh, um, and I got this generic Russian Adderall. 对了 我拿到了一种俄罗斯产三无药物
[51:24] My little brother ordered it online. 我弟弟在网上买的
[51:25] It will help you focus. 这可以帮你集中精力
[51:26] It’s super strong, but it is expired, so… 药性很猛但是期效短 所以
[51:30] – Thank you so much. – Hey. -太感谢你了 -别客气
[51:31] – I love you. – I love you, too, dude. -老子爱你 -老兄我也爱你
[51:33] – Get her back. – Thanks. -把她追回来 -谢谢
[51:38] You are peeing. 你尿裤子了
[51:39] I’m so scared. 我好害怕
[51:42] I feel like we should say something. 我总觉得我们该说点什么
[51:45] Yeah. Good idea. 是的 好主意
[51:48] We’re really sorry. 我们很抱歉
[51:50] You deserved better. 你本来不会落得这个下场
[51:51] Yeah. 是的
[51:53] There’s nothing we could do to bring you back, but… 我们用尽办法却无力回天
[51:56] We promise to spend the rest of our lives trying to be better people. 我们保证会在余生中试着变得更好
[52:01] We owe that to you. 我们欠你的
[52:05] God, we’re so sorry. 上帝 我们真的很抱歉
[52:07] So sorry. 真抱歉
[52:08] So sorry, man. 太对不起了 老弟
[52:10] We suck. 我们就是个烂人
[52:15] Okay, you can dump him now! 好的 你现在可以把他扔了
[52:17] Aye, Captain! 遵命 船长
[52:24] This never happened. Right? 什么都没发生过 对吗
[52:26] Nope. It… It happened. 不 发生过
[52:29] Right? 对吗
[52:30] – No, we’re not gonna talk about it. – Oh, got it, got it. -不我们不会再说这个了 -明白明白
[52:34] Okay, bye. 好的 再见了您嘞
[52:37] That could have been more delicate, huh? 不应该更优雅一些吗
[52:43] She’s going really fast. 她开得好快啊
[52:45] I did it! 我做到了
[52:46] – Oh, my God, what the fuck is she doing? – What is she doing? -额滴神啊 她在干嘛 -她在干嘛
[52:50] Holy shit! 卧了个大槽
[52:53] Oh, my God! Are you okay? 天哪 你还好吗
[52:56] I’m good. I’m really good. 我很好 好得不能再好
[52:59] Are you sure? ’cause you ” wu” landed right on your neck. 确定 因为你”咻”的一声以脖子着地
[53:01] Yeah, I just did a sort of straight shot, landed on the neck… 是的我只是笔直冲出 然后以脖子着地
[53:04] …snap, and we’re back up. 对折一下 然后就回来了
[53:07] It was good. What happened? 那就好 怎么回事
[53:08] I thought you knew how to drive those things. 我以为你会驾驶那玩意呢
[53:09] Yeah, no, I definitely do, but, 是的 我的确会
[53:11] um, I think the gas and the brake are different in Australia, 但我觉得这里的燃料和刹车和澳洲的不同
[53:14] so I got confused. 所以我有点没搞懂
[53:15] – How are you alive right now? – I don’t know. -你是怎么活到现在的 -我也不知道啊
[53:18] But I’ll take it. 但是我会知道的
[53:22] Well, body dumped, girl’s alive. 抛尸完毕 姐妹们都活者
[53:25] – What’s next? – We should get the fuck out of here. -然后呢 -我们该离开这鬼地方
[53:27] – Great idea. – Yeah, I like that. -绝妙的主意 -我附议
[53:30] – Let’s do that. – You sure you’re okay? -走吧 -你真的没问题吗
[53:36] Guys? 大家伙
[53:38] She should probably get a CAT scan. 或许她应该拍个X光照片
[53:40] Okay. 好的
[53:43] She’s fine. 她很好
[53:47] – Is there any more pizza left? – I don’t think so. -还有披萨吃吗 -应该没了
[53:50] No! 不
[53:51] Jesus, dude, we can order more. 天哪 老兄 我们可以再点的
[53:52] No, not that. That! 不是这个 是那个
[53:54] – What? – The sexy neighbors! -什么 -那对性感夫妇
[53:56] Oh… They have footage of us dumping the body. 他们拍到了我们抛尸的全部过程
[53:58] We should just turn ourselves in, right? 我们是不是该去自首
[54:00] – We’re fucked. – No. -我们完了 -不
[54:02] We got rid of the body. We just have to get rid of the footage, 我们已经搞定了尸体 现在去搞定录像带
[54:04] that’s all. 就这样
[54:05] – Right? – Yes. -对吗 -没错
[54:06] Yep. Yep. Yeah, okay. 是的 好的 没错
[54:07] Yes. Well, how? 是的 那怎么办呢
[54:15] No. 不行
[54:17] Absolutely not. 绝对不行
[54:18] Thank you. Oh. 谢谢你
[54:27] Your house is so, um… 你们的房子真
[54:30] – Funky. – Thank you. -时髦 -谢谢你
[54:33] You should see our panic room. 你该看看我们的密室
[54:41] May I? 我是否能
[54:49] It’s happening. God, you make me red-hot. 这样子 天哪 你让我有些欲火焚身
[55:03] You know what would be really, really sexy? 你知道什么才是最刺激的吗
[55:07] Please tell me. 请务必告诉我
[55:08] If we got this on tape. 我们可以拍片
[55:12] Oh, you naughty girl. 你个坏女孩
[55:17] Actually, I noticed that you guys have these cameras outside 实际上我注意到你们在外面也有摄像头
[55:20] and it’s always been 对我来说
[55:22] a fantasy of mine to get caught on a security camera, so… 被安全监控摄像头拍到是种奇妙的体验
[55:30] Oh, okay. Okay. 好的 好的
[55:35] Thank you. 谢谢你
[55:47] Okay. 好的
[55:52] Oh, okay. Yeah. 好的
[55:53] Is it okay that we’re watching this? 我们在这旁观真的没关系吗
[55:56] Yeah, we’re watching for Blair. 当然 我们是在看布莱尔
[55:58] You know, for her safety. We’re monitoring. 为了她的安全着想 我们才要监视
[56:00] Man, Blair looks great. 老兄 布莱尔看上去真是棒极了
[56:01] Yeah, she looks great. 是的 她超棒的
[56:03] You ready? 准备好了吗
[56:06] Yeah, think so. All right. 是的 应该 好了
[56:09] Relax. 放轻松
[56:12] I’ve got you. 我抓着你呢
[56:13] – Holy shit! – Oh, my… -妈呀 -这真的太
[56:15] Interesting. She’s showing off. 有点意思 她上道了
[56:18] – Yes! Yes! – Whoa. -好爽 好爽 -带劲儿
[56:19] Give me those. Give me those. 给我看看 给我看看
[56:34] Hey, it’s Jess. Leave a message. 你好 我是杰西 有事请留言
[56:37] Jess, it’s Peter. 杰西 我是皮特
[56:39] How are you? Um… 你还好吗
[56:43] Just calling again. Okay. Oh, man. 请回电话好吗 天哪
[56:47] What a story this’ll be, huh? 想想会是什么样的
[56:49] For the grand kids. If we get married. 如果我们结婚了 会有很多子子孙孙
[56:51] Um, do me a favor, call me back. Let me know you’re okay. 给个机会 请回电话 告诉我你很好
[56:57] I love you so much. Please call me. Bye. 我超爱你的 请回电话 拜拜
[57:17] Hey, it’s Jess. Leave a message. 你好 我是杰西 有事请留言
[57:18] Jess! 桔子杰西
[57:21] Yes! 是的
[57:30] Um, I would love a copy of the tape, you know, 我很想要一个录像带的复印本
[57:34] for, like, jerking off later, whatever. 就像是等会再来一发啥的
[57:37] Me, too. What’s the tape? 我也想再来 但是什么录像带
[57:40] The tape. The, uh… The naughty tape we just made. 录像带 就是我们刚刚的色情录像带
[57:42] You know, the DVD or the… 你知道光盘或者
[57:44] You know, from the cameras. 那些摄像头拍的
[57:46] Oh. Those don’t work. 那些都没有运行
[57:49] Excuse me, what? 不好意思 你说什么
[57:50] Yeah, they don’t work, like she said. 是的 如她所说 没有运行
[57:52] But we know that’s not what this was about. 但是我们都知道这无关紧要
[57:54] Right? This was fantasy fulfillment. 是吧 全程都很美妙
[57:57] – Creating a mise en scène. – I’m sorry. Why, um… -再来一次现场直播 -不好意思
[58:01] Why would someone have security cameras that don’t work? 为什么会有人安装没用的安全摄像头
[58:04] They didn’t charge us for the first three months. 头三个月那些就没电了
[58:05] After that, we didn’t want to pay for the service. 后来我们也不想再为此付费
[58:07] You know, they keep out the riffraff. 它们能吓住那些地痞流氓
[58:09] You’ll just have to jerk off as the Italians do. 你只能像意大利人一样打飞机了
[58:12] To your memories. Mmm. 全凭想象
[58:16] Wait, so, Blair, so there’s no footage? 等一下 布莱尔 所以是没有录下来
[58:20] No. 没有
[58:22] Ah! Oh, my gosh. So we’re in the clear! 哦 老天 所以我们没事了
[58:25] That is… That’s great. 那 那太好了
[58:27] Yeah. She was so intuitive. 她全凭感觉
[58:31] She was inside me. 她进入了我
[58:34] And then she was outside me. 然后又出来
[58:38] And then she was me. 然后我们合二为一
[58:41] So, we’re good. 所以我们没事啦
[58:42] Almost, except I probably have HPV now. 还没呢 我可能感染上了乳头瘤病毒
[58:45] Whatever. We all have HPV. 管他呢 我们都有乳头瘤病毒
[58:46] Oh, uh, I mean, I don’t have HPV. 我没有乳头瘤病毒
[58:49] Alice, they say if you had sex after the year 1991, 爱丽丝 据说如果你在1991年后做了爱
[58:52] you have HPV. 你就有乳头瘤病毒
[58:54] Then, I mean, I definitely have HPV then. 那我肯定有乳头瘤病毒了
[58:56] I have, like, clumps and clumps of it. 一堆又一堆
[59:00] Cool. Uh, let’s clean up 那很好 我们清理一下
[59:01] and get the hell out of here. 然后离开这个地方吧
[59:03] Okay. 好的
[59:26] Every weekend Housework 每周末的家务活
[59:30] Okay. Looks pretty good. 好的 看起来真不错
[59:31] We did good. 我们做得真好
[59:32] Got it. 知道
[59:33] Yes. Nice. High five, everyone. Lovely. 漂亮 击个掌 大家 真棒
[59:44] This child is not my son. 这个小孩不是我儿子
[59:53] No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 别啊别啊别啊
[59:59] Shit. My pants. 该死 我裤子呢
[1:00:05] I don’t have time for this. 我没时间了
[1:00:16] Good evening, Officer. 晚上好 警官
[1:00:18] How can I be of service to you? 我能为你做什么
[1:00:20] – Sir, you been drinking? – Absolutely not. -先生 你喝酒了 -完全没有
[1:00:22] I did do a wine tasting earlier this evening, 晚上早些时候确实品过酒
[1:00:24] Italian reds mostly, 都是意大利红酒
[1:00:25] but you don’t really drink it, you mostly spit. 但没有真正喝 都是抿
[1:00:26] You take sips and you spit into a bucket. 抿一小口 然后吐到桶里
[1:00:28] What the… All right, sir, 搞什 好的 先生
[1:00:29] I’m gonna ask you to get out of the vehicle. 我要请你从车里出来
[1:00:30] – No. – Now! -别啊 -马上
[1:00:32] – Officer. – Now! -警官 -马上出来
[1:00:33] Hands. Move slow. 双手举起 慢慢出来
[1:00:42] Officer, I can explain. 警官 我能解释
[1:00:44] She’s a 20! 她是女神
[1:00:46] Okay, before we go, 好的 在我们走之前
[1:00:48] we got to do human friendtipede, yeah? 我们要做人体朋友蜈蚣 对吧
[1:00:49] What? Alice. 啥 爱丽丝
[1:00:50] No way. 没门
[1:00:51] Yes. 是的
[1:00:52] It’s tradition. 这是传统
[1:00:53] Alice, quick “Q.” 爱丽丝 快速问答
[1:00:55] What is a human friendtipede? 什么是人体朋友蜈蚣
[1:00:57] It’s a photo we always take that’s like the movie Human Centipede. 就是我们像电影人体蜈蚣里一样拍张照片
[1:01:00] Where they’re sewn together, mouth to anus, 他们是嘴和肛门缝在一起
[1:01:02] but it’s with friends, 但我们是和朋友一起
[1:01:04] so it’s special. 所以很特别
[1:01:05] Come on now, Alice. 算了吧 爱丽丝
[1:01:06] I don’t know about that. 我不知道
[1:01:07] I feel like not the appropriate… 我觉得不太合适
[1:01:08] Guys, if I don’t post a ton of pictures from this weekend, 大伙儿 如果我不发很多这周末的照片
[1:01:11] it’s gonna look suspicious. 看起来就很可疑
[1:01:13] Like we killed someone. 像我们杀了人
[1:01:14] Okay. I can’t believe I’m saying this, 好吧 我真不相信我会这样说
[1:01:17] but I think we should do the human friendtipede. 但我觉得我们应该做人体朋友蜈蚣
[1:01:18] Yes! 太棒了
[1:01:19] But we cannot photograph the crime scene. 但是我们不能拍到犯罪现场
[1:01:22] Okay. I get the middle. 好的 我要站中间
[1:01:24] Why do you want the middle? 你为什么要站中间
[1:01:27] Okay. Oh, my God, amazoir. 好的 哦 我的天 很好
[1:01:29] Say “friendtipede.” 说 朋友蜈蚣
[1:01:31] Friendtipede! 朋友蜈蚣
[1:01:33] Cute. 真好看
[1:01:35] Yes! 太好了
[1:01:37] Let’s see it. It’s ridiculous. 让我们看一下 有点荒唐
[1:01:40] Alice, stop. You look really pretty. 爱丽丝 停下来 你看起来很漂亮
[1:01:42] No, 不会吧
[1:01:43] look! 看吧
[1:01:46] Oh, my God. No! Come on! No! 天哪 不 别这样 不
[1:01:50] Oh, shit! Damn it! Is that our guy? 糟糕 那是我们扔的那个人吗
[1:01:53] Are you kidding me? 你是在开玩笑吧
[1:01:54] Oh, shit! 哦 真糟
[1:01:55] Oh, my God, oh, my God! 哦 天哪 哦 天哪
[1:01:57] God, I thought you weighed him down. 天哪 我以为你让他沉下去了
[1:01:59] I did. I put rocks in his pockets. 我做了啊 我在他的口袋里放了石头
[1:02:00] I guess his pants fell off. 我猜他的裤子掉了
[1:02:02] Men need to wear belts. 男人要穿腰带
[1:02:04] Yeah. How dare they not sink when we murder them. 是啊 我们谋杀了他 他竟敢不沉
[1:02:08] 10 9 8 7 6 Z, y, x, w, v, u, t, s, r, q, p, o,
[1:02:11] 5 4 3 2 1 N, m, l, k, j, i, h, g, f, e, d, c, b, a.
[1:02:24] Okay. 好的
[1:02:31] Did you see that? 你看到了吧
[1:02:34] You only had to walk a straight line. 你只需要走一条直线
[1:02:35] I know. I just followed my body. 我知道 我只是让我的身体自由发挥
[1:02:39] – Are you a dancer or… – No. -你是跳舞的还是 -不是
[1:02:41] I’ve never done anything like that before in my life. 我之前从来没这样做过
[1:02:43] I still got to give you a speeding ticket. 我还是要给你一张超速罚单
[1:02:45] Please. That’s great. 请吧 那太好了
[1:02:47] Slow down. 开慢点
[1:02:48] – Thank you, Officer. – I almost shot you. -谢谢你 警官 -我差点开枪打你
[1:02:50] I know. That was nuts. 我知道 那有点疯狂
[1:02:52] Also, don’t shoot anybody. 但还是别开枪打任何人
[1:02:56] We can’t get rid of his body in broad daylight, you guys. 我们不能在大白天处理他的尸体 大伙
[1:02:59] We have to think of something. Come on. 我们必须要想法 想啊
[1:03:01] Ideas? 有什么主意
[1:03:02] Kiwi! You up? 猕猴桃 你睡醒了吗
[1:03:04] Yeah. Yeah. 醒了 醒了
[1:03:05] We need everyone’s brain on this, so… 我们需要每个人都想想
[1:03:07] Yeah. Yeah. Okay. 是的 是的 好的
[1:03:09] So, um, here’s what I’m gonna do. 所以 我接下来要这样做
[1:03:12] I’m gonna go to the beach 我要去沙滩
[1:03:14] and do a bit of mindful meditation. 冥想一下
[1:03:16] And, um, when I come back, 当我回来的时候
[1:03:18] I’m gonna have a be-genius idea. 我就有天才的主意了
[1:03:20] Yeah? All right. 是吧 好的
[1:03:23] We got it. 我们知道了
[1:03:25] We’re never gonna get rid of his body. 我们永远无法处理掉他的尸体了
[1:03:28] He’s gonna follow us around for the rest of our lives. 他会跟随我们一辈子的
[1:03:30] Oh, God. Oh, no. 哦 天哪 哦 不
[1:03:32] Police! 警察 开门
[1:03:33] Shit. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 糟糕 天哪 哦 天哪
[1:03:35] Do you think the neighbors called them? 你认为是邻居报的警吗
[1:03:37] Maybe they got suspicious. 他们可能起疑心了
[1:03:38] – Oh, my God. – Police! Open up! Now! -哦 天哪 -警察 开门 快
[1:03:40] Women, this is my world. 女士们 这是我的地盘
[1:03:41] I will handle this. I got you. 我来处理 有我在
[1:03:44] Turn out the lights and hide. 关灯 躲起来
[1:03:57] Oh, good evening, Officer. 哦 晚上好 警官
[1:04:01] Step aside, miss. 靠边站 女士
[1:04:03] What’s this all about? 这是怎么回事啊
[1:04:05] Put your hands where I can see them. 把你的手放在我能看见的地方
[1:04:06] Officer, I am cooperating. You see? Hello. 警官 我在配合 你看
[1:04:10] Get your hands against the wall. 把你的手放到墙上
[1:04:11] – I am not… – Get your hands against the wall! -我不 -把你的手放到墙上
[1:04:12] I am taking a passive stance. 我现在是被动立场
[1:04:14] My body is limp for you! 我的身体都没法站直
[1:04:17] Spread them. 岔开
[1:04:23] What are you doing? No. 你在干什么 别
[1:04:25] No! No! 别 别
[1:04:29] – Fuck! – Jesus! -操 -天哪
[1:04:32] Frankie! Frankie! Oh, my God. 弗兰基 弗兰基 哦 我的天
[1:04:35] Now we have a dead guy and an unconscious cop? 我们现在有一个死人和一个昏迷的警察
[1:04:37] – What is wrong with you? – Are you kidding me? -你在搞什么 -你在开玩笑吧
[1:04:39] He’s obviously a rape cop. This is what they do! 他明显是个强奸警察 他们就要这么做
[1:04:42] When they have dirt on you, they sexually assault you, 当他们抓住你的把柄 他们就性骚扰你
[1:04:44] knowing you won’t report it. 知道你不会报案
[1:04:45] Daniel Holtzclaw, Oklahoma City? 丹尼尔·霍尔兹克劳 俄克拉荷马城
[1:04:47] Who? 谁
[1:04:48] He sexually assaulted eight women. 他性骚扰了八个女人
[1:04:50] Like Matt Dillon in Crash. 像撞车里面的马特·迪伦
[1:04:53] Oh, my God, that was horrendous. What a nightmare. 天哪 太可怕了 噩梦一般
[1:04:55] Information is power, guys. 信息就是力量 大伙儿
[1:04:57] I mean it. I mean it. 我是说真的 真的
[1:04:58] Okay, chill out. You’re from Brentwood, 好的 冷静一下 你来自布伦特伍德[富人区]
[1:04:59] and your dad used to be John Mayer’s accountant. 你爸爸曾经是约翰·梅尔的会计
[1:05:02] Okay. “You are not your father’s daughters 好的 你不是你父亲的女儿
[1:05:04] but mothers unto your own.” 而是你自己的母亲
[1:05:05] Wait, is that John Mayer? 等等 那是约翰·梅尔说的吗
[1:05:07] It’s Malcolm X. 是马尔科姆·X说的
[1:05:09] Pretty sure it’s John Mayer. 肯定是约翰·梅尔说的
[1:05:10] Fathers, fathers 父亲 父亲
[1:05:11] Okay, you guys, you guys, we have to move this guy 好了 大伙儿 大伙儿 我们必须
[1:05:13] before the neighbors return to eat Blair out again. 在邻居回来找布莱尔之前把这家伙搬走
[1:05:16] I’d be fine with that. 我没意见
[1:05:18] All right. Fuck. 好的 操
[1:05:19] All right, one, two, three. 准备 1 2 3
[1:05:27] Frankie, how many strippers did you order? 弗兰基 你叫了几个脱衣舞郎
[1:05:32] Just the one. 就叫了一个
[1:05:34] Then who’s this guy? 那这个家伙是谁
[1:05:37] – Let me see his dick real quick. – Good call. -让我快速看下他的大屌 -好主意
[1:05:39] Wait, what? 等等 什么
[1:05:40] The stripper I ordered had a dick pic 我叫的脱衣舞郎有张屌的照片
[1:05:41] in his ad. No face. 在他的广告里 没有脸
[1:05:43] But I can ID him by his member. 但我能通过他的弟弟辨认他
[1:05:45] Cool. Okay. 厉害 好的
[1:05:51] I’m not sure. 我不太确定
[1:05:53] He had a boner in his ad. 他的广告里是勃起的
[1:05:54] This one’s soft. 现在是软的
[1:05:56] I can get it hard. Let’s go, feet. 我能让他硬起来 来吧 我的脚丫丫
[1:05:59] What? No. No, no, no, no. 什么 别别别
[1:06:00] Stop. No, wait. Stop, please. 停下 不 等等 请停下
[1:06:08] Okay, yes. This is the stripper I ordered. 好吧 是的 这是我叫的脱衣舞郎
[1:06:10] This is Scotty with the Body. 这是有身体的斯科蒂
[1:06:13] Then who did we kill? 那么我们杀了谁
[1:06:38] – Hello? – This is Banknorth. -你好 -这是北方银行
[1:06:40] We have detected unusual activity on your account. 我们检测到你账户的异常活动
[1:06:43] If you have attempted a purchase at 如果你尝试在圣露西港的
[1:06:45] Quickie Stop in Port St. Lucie, please press one. 快速加油站购物 请按1
[1:06:51] Thank you for pressing two. 谢谢你按了2
[1:06:52] Your card has been suspended due to unusual activity. 你的卡由于不正常活动已被锁定
[1:06:55] No. No. 不 不
[1:06:59] Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 哦 不 不 不 不 不
[1:07:11] – How’s that? – Yeah, that’s good. -这怎样 -恩 很好
[1:07:15] If you’re looking for our cell phones, 如果你是在找我们的手机
[1:07:16] I locked them in this drawer 我锁在这个抽屉里
[1:07:17] and I’m not gonna open it, okay? 而且我是不会打开的 知道吗
[1:07:19] Please let me at least text Peter. I feel like he’s totally freaking 请至少让我给皮特发条信息 我感觉
[1:07:22] out right now. 他现在已经完全吓坏了
[1:07:22] Not until everything is sorted out. 在所有事都解决之前是不行的
[1:07:24] We made a plan. 这是我们的计划
[1:07:26] Um, Alice. 爱丽丝
[1:07:28] What’s up, dude? 还好吗 哥们
[1:07:28] – What? – What are you doing? -什么 -你在干什么
[1:07:30] Oh, I’m just making sure nothing’s broken. 我只是在检查没什么损坏吧
[1:07:33] I think he’s fine. 我觉得他很好
[1:07:34] Yeah, he’s really fine. 是的 他是真的很不错
[1:07:36] Jesus. Oh, my God. 我的天哪
[1:07:37] You need to masturbate more. You’re, like, severely horny. 你得多自慰了 你看起来 太饥渴了
[1:07:41] I know. 我知道
[1:07:42] I just don’t like to do it in front of my cockatiel. 我只是不想在我的鸡尾鹦鹉面前自慰
[1:07:44] She’s very smart. 她非常聪明
[1:07:46] Why don’t you put her in a cage? 你为什么不把她放在笼子里
[1:07:47] She is in a cage. 她在笼子里
[1:07:48] But I’m loud. I’m a screamer. 我声音很大 我喜欢呻吟
[1:07:50] – I remember. – Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. -我想起来了 -我忘了那碴了
[1:07:52] And it kind of sounds like her. 而且我叫起来有点像她的声音
[1:07:55] So she thinks I’m talking to her. 所以她以为我在跟她说话
[1:07:57] I’m like, “No, I’m just fucking touching myself.” 然后我说 不 我在自慰呢
[1:07:59] Like, “Back off.” 然后告诉它 滚蛋
[1:08:01] Cool, so back to our life-changing emergency? 好的 那回到这个事关人生的紧急事件
[1:08:03] Okay, the stripper’s here, he’s alive. 好的 脱衣舞郎在这里 他还活着
[1:08:07] – That’s good. Right? – Yeah. -很好 对吧 -是啊
[1:08:10] There is still a dead guy in the closet, so… 壁橱里还是有一个死人 所以
[1:08:12] – Who is that guy? – We could get rid of him -那家伙是谁 -我们要是有一辆车
[1:08:14] if we just had a car, you know? 就可以摆脱掉他了 知道吗
[1:08:16] Oh, my God. How did this guy get here? 天哪 这家伙是怎么到这里的
[1:08:22] Oh, yeah. 完美
[1:08:23] Gotta work. 会成功的
[1:08:26] – Thank God! – Will it? -感谢上帝 -能成吗
[1:08:28] All right, we’re gonna drive to the alligator bog, 好的 我们要开车去鳄鱼沼泽
[1:08:30] dump the body. 把尸体抛了
[1:08:31] We’re gonna return the Smart car, 然后归还这小破车
[1:08:33] wake up the G-string guy, 叫醒穿丁字裤的那家伙
[1:08:34] tell him he hit his head really hard. 告诉他他的头被撞得很厉害
[1:08:36] – Blair’s gonna give him a ton of cash. – Wait, what? -布莱尔会给他很多现金 -等等 什么
[1:08:38] And then we’re home free. 然后我们就可以自由回家了
[1:08:39] I love it. Yeah. 我喜欢 是的
[1:08:48] Alligator bog. 鳄鱼沼泽
[1:08:50] You will arrive at your destination in 45 minutes. 您将在45分钟内到达目的地
[1:08:55] Yeah. 是啊
[1:08:59] Can I do your… Do you mind if I do your thing? 需要我 需要我帮忙吗
[1:09:06] Don’t litter. 不要乱扔垃圾
[1:09:29] All right. 不错
[1:09:31] Hey, thanks a lot, man. 非常感谢 兄弟
[1:09:34] – For you. – Thank you so much. -给你的 -非常感谢
[1:09:36] So, I got meth. 话说 我有冰毒
[1:09:38] You looking? 40 bucks. 你要吗 40美元
[1:09:40] No, thank you so much. I just need gas money. 不 非常感谢 我只需要汽油钱
[1:09:44] Hey, listen, do you want to suck my dick for 15 bucks? 听着 你想给我口一下赚15美元吗
[1:09:48] – No. – Okay. -不 -好吧
[1:09:49] Thank you. 谢谢你
[1:09:50] Good luck, man. 祝你好运 兄弟
[1:09:51] Thanks, man. 谢谢 伙计
[1:09:59] You will arrive in 25 minutes. 您将在25分钟后到达
[1:10:01] This is so uncomfortable. 这太不舒服了
[1:10:03] I mean, does this thing go any faster? 我是说 这东西能开快点吗
[1:10:08] Wait! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 等等 不不不不不不不
[1:10:19] So it does go faster? 所以确实能开快点
[1:10:30] Hi, sir. May I… 你好 先生 我能
[1:10:31] Whoa! Get the fuck away from my car. 他妈的离我的车远点
[1:10:33] Okay. Sorry, sorry, sorry. 好的 对不起 对不起
[1:10:34] God. 天哪
[1:10:35] Let me suck your dick real fast. 让我帮你口一下 很快的
[1:10:37] What? 什么
[1:10:38] – Please? – No. What is with this place? -拜托 -不 这地方怎么回事
[1:10:41] Okay, listen… 好吧 听着
[1:10:43] Do you have any meth? 你有冰毒吗
[1:10:49] I could sell you meth, yeah. 我可以卖给你冰毒 是的
[1:10:53] – 80 bucks. – 80, uh, dollars… -80美元 -80美元
[1:10:56] There you go. 给你
[1:11:04] Hey, man. 兄弟
[1:11:07] Um, I want to buy some meth. 我想买些冰毒
[1:11:10] Only thing is, though, 但唯一的问题是
[1:11:12] you got to do a little bump, though, so I know that you’re not a cop. 你得做点小动作 让我知道你不是警察
[1:11:16] No, man. Please. I’m not a cop. 算了吧 伙计 拜托 我不是警察
[1:11:18] You want the meth or not? 你要不要冰毒
[1:11:21] Okay. 好吧
[1:11:24] Here we go. 来吧
[1:11:26] And one for Papa Bear. It burns. All right. -一个给熊爸爸 -好烧 好了
[1:11:29] 40 bucks. Not a cop. Come on. 40美元 不是警察 来吧
[1:11:32] – Yes. Great. -好了 -棒
[1:11:33] – Thank you. – You’re welcome. -谢谢您 -不客气
[1:11:35] So, uh, still a no-go on the BJ, or… 所以 还是不给口一个 或者
[1:11:38] No, I’m good. Thanks. 不了 我不用了 谢谢
[1:11:39] That’s fine. 没关系
[1:11:42] Actually, 事实上
[1:11:44] there’s somebody I want to introduce you to. 我想给你介绍一个人
[1:11:47] – Right on! – Very nice to meet you. -就这样 -很高兴见到你
[1:11:48] – Good to meet you, too. – This is so perfect. -很高兴见到你 -这太完美了
[1:11:50] Yeah, go. Please, go. 可以了 走吧 拜托 走吧
[1:11:52] Okay. Okay. 好的 好的
[1:11:54] You got to do it, man. That’s true love. 你必须得这么做 兄弟 那是真爱
[1:12:13] Guys, I fell asleep. 伙计们 我睡着了
[1:12:15] I fell asleep. 我睡着了
[1:12:17] I had this nightmare where we had all killed a guy. 我做了个噩梦 梦见我们杀了一个人
[1:12:21] – That is a reality. – No, we killed somebody. -这是现实 -不 我们杀了人
[1:12:22] What? No! 什么 不
[1:12:24] Oh, my God! Jet lag is insane, you guys. 天哪 时差反应太疯狂了 各位
[1:12:29] It’s no joke! 这不是玩笑
[1:12:30] No joke! 别开玩笑
[1:12:32] Damn it! 该死的
[1:12:34] Did you happen to come up with a be-genius idea out there? 你有没有想出一个天才的主意
[1:12:38] Yeah, I did, actually. 是的 事实上我想到了
[1:12:39] In my dream, I remembered that there was this guy in Australia 在我梦中 我记得在澳大利亚有一个人
[1:12:43] who cooked his girlfriend and ate her. 煮了女朋友然后吃了她
[1:12:45] – Kiwi. – I can’t ’cause I am vegan. -猕猴桃 -我不行 因为我是素食主义者
[1:12:49] Oh, God, I’m so tired. 天哪 我太累了
[1:12:51] We should turn ourselves in. We’re guilty. 我们应该自首 我们有罪
[1:12:53] No, we are innocent, 不 我们是无辜的
[1:12:54] because this was an accident, you guys. 因为这是个意外 各位
[1:12:56] Stop saying that. 别再说了
[1:12:57] Maybe if you hadn’t been lethally horny, 也许如果你没那么致命地饥渴
[1:12:59] we wouldn’t be in this mess. 我们就不会陷入这样的困境
[1:13:01] I was coked up because you bought us drugs. 我上头了还不是因为你给我们买了毒品
[1:13:04] I didn’t force you to do the drugs, Alice. 我没有强迫你吸毒 爱丽丝
[1:13:06] And you know what, nobody’s talking about how it was 你知道吗 没人说布莱尔怎么
[1:13:08] Blair’s idea to get a stripper in the first place. 一开始就找了一个脱衣舞男
[1:13:10] Yeah, but you’re never to blame, right? 是的 但肯定不是你的锅 对吧
[1:13:12] “Look at me, I’m Frankie. 快看我 我是弗兰基
[1:13:13] I live in a storage unit. 我住在一个储藏室里
[1:13:14] “I’m saving the world.” You know what? -我在拯救世界 -你知道吗
[1:13:15] You act like everybody’s so stupid 你表现得好像 只要不做像你一样
[1:13:17] for not being a merciless asshole like you. 冷酷无情的混蛋就是个蠢货
[1:13:19] I’m the asshole? 我是混蛋
[1:13:20] I mean, you’re both kind of assholes. 我是说 你们两个都是混蛋
[1:13:21] – Stay out of this. – Seriously. -不要掺合 -我认真地
[1:13:23] Maybe you’re the asshole, Alice. 也许你是个混蛋 爱丽丝
[1:13:25] Oh, shit. 该死
[1:13:27] Excuse me, bitch? 你说啥 婊子
[1:13:29] I’m a fucking sweetheart. 我他妈是甜心
[1:13:32] Well, then why do you insist on calling me Kiwi 那你为什么坚持叫我猕猴桃
[1:13:35] even though I told you it was culturally insensitive? 即使我告诉过你 这是不尊重我的文化
[1:13:38] And why did you feel the need to 为什么你觉得有必要
[1:13:40] reach over and try to undo my seat belt 在到这里来的出租车上
[1:13:42] in the taxicab on the way here? 伸手去解开我的安全带
[1:13:44] – Jesus Christ. – Yeah. -天啊 -是啊
[1:13:46] That’s an American bit. 那是美国套路
[1:13:48] We do it as a joke. Okay? 我们这样只是开个玩笑 好吗
[1:13:49] We all do it. Right? 我们都这么做 对吗
[1:13:51] Come on, say it. 快点 说出来
[1:13:52] – Alice! – Oh, my God, stop it, please. -爱丽丝 -天哪 请停下来
[1:13:56] It’s bad enough without you two going at it. 已经够糟了 你们还吵
[1:13:57] And I thought your bridal shower was a nightmare. 我还以为你的婚前派对够噩梦了
[1:14:00] What are you talking about? She didn’t have a bridal shower. 你在说什么 她没开婚前派对
[1:14:03] No, she didn’t. 不 她没有
[1:14:08] You had a bridal shower? 你有开婚前派对吗
[1:14:11] Well, not really. I mean… 其实 我是说
[1:14:14] It was, like, work friends. It wasn’t a big deal. 都是工作上的朋友 没什么大不了的
[1:14:17] But Blair went? 但布莱尔去了
[1:14:18] It wasn’t even open bar. 那甚至都不是开幕酒会
[1:14:21] What? It wasn’t. 怎么了 不是的
[1:14:23] How could you not invite me? 你怎么能不邀请我
[1:14:25] Alice, please. Please, can we drop it? 爱丽丝 求你了 拜托 我们能不谈它吗
[1:14:27] Please. I’m telling you, 拜托 我告诉你
[1:14:28] it was just… It was for Peter’s family. 只是 是给皮特家人办的
[1:14:30] – It wasn’t a big deal, man. – Oh, Peter. -没什么大不了的 伙计 -彼得
[1:14:33] He is so annoying. 他真烦人
[1:14:35] And I know why he doesn’t like me. 我知道他为什么不喜欢我
[1:14:38] ‘Cause he’s, like, so freaking jealous. 因为他非常嫉妒
[1:14:41] Peter is not jealous of you. 彼得不嫉妒你
[1:14:42] Well, then, why would you not invite 那么 你为什么不邀请
[1:14:43] your best friend to your bridal shower? 你最好的朋友参加你的婚前派对呢
[1:14:45] Oh, my God, you really want to know why? 天哪 你真的想知道为什么吗
[1:14:47] Yes! I do! 对 我愿意
[1:14:48] Because I knew that if I invited you, 因为我知道如果我邀请你
[1:14:50] you wouldn’t let me talk to anybody else. 你不会让我和别人说话的
[1:14:52] That’s why. 这就是为什么
[1:14:53] Okay? You monopolize my time 好吗 你独占了我的时间
[1:14:55] and then you make me feel guilty about not spending time with you. 然后你让我因为没陪你而感到内疚
[1:14:58] How can I win? 我进退俩难
[1:14:59] Are you kidding me? 你在开玩笑吧
[1:15:01] I do not monopolize your time, Jess! 我不会独占你的时间 杰西
[1:15:03] I just try to make the most of it, 我只是尽量充分利用它
[1:15:04] ’cause you don’t even make an effort to see me anymore. 因为你都不主动见我了
[1:15:06] – That’s not true! – It is true. -那不是真的 -这是真的
[1:15:09] It is. 是的
[1:15:11] I’m sorry, but you are always at work, 对不起 你一直在工作
[1:15:13] or you’re making plans with Peter. 或者在和皮特做计划
[1:15:16] Or you’re Skyping with other people. 或者和其他人一起视屏聊天
[1:15:18] I can’t do your stupid fucking accent. 我学不来你那愚蠢的口音
[1:15:20] – No, you can’t. – Yes, yes. -是的 你不能 -是的 是的
[1:15:22] We’re not in college anymore, 我们已经不在大学了
[1:15:24] and things do change. 事物都会改变
[1:15:26] The only thing that’s changed is you. 唯一改变的是你
[1:15:28] You’ve become obsessed with your perfect 你被你完美的新生活
[1:15:31] new life and your campaign 和你的竞选迷住了
[1:15:33] and you ditched me. 你抛弃了我
[1:15:34] Oh, I am sorry that I don’t want to talk about 很抱歉 我不想谈
[1:15:38] the time that we got drunk at O’Flaherty’s 10 years ago! 10年前我们在酒吧喝醉的时候
[1:15:43] Well, you know what? 你知道吗
[1:15:44] I guess I never should have planned such a nice weekend for you. 我想我就不该为你安排这么好的周末
[1:15:47] You know, you… 你知道吗 你
[1:15:47] God, you are so ungrateful. 天哪 你太忘恩负义了
[1:15:50] – Did you just say I was ungrateful? – Yes! -你刚才说我忘恩负义 -对
[1:15:52] You’re an ungrateful person. 你是个忘恩负义的人
[1:15:55] You didn’t plan this weekend for me. 你没有为我计划这个周末
[1:15:57] You planned this weekend for yourself, 你为你自己计划了这个周末
[1:16:00] so that you could post a bunch of photos 这样你就可以传一堆照片了
[1:16:02] and not make your life seem so sad! 让你的生活看起来没那么可悲
[1:16:11] Wow I’m sorry Jess. 对不起 杰西
[1:16:17] I’ll leave you… 我不会
[1:16:19] I’ll leave you alone from now on. 从现在起我不会打扰你了
[1:16:22] Alice. 爱丽丝
[1:16:31] Jess, that was really harsh. 杰西 那真是太严厉了
[1:16:33] Oh, my God, I can’t. 天哪 我不能
[1:16:33] I can’t with the guilt. Please. 我不能变得内疚 拜托
[1:16:36] I can’t with any of this anymore. 我不能再忍受这些了
[1:16:39] Jess, come on, dude. 杰西 别这样 伙计
[1:16:40] No. All we have done all night 不 我们整晚的所作所为
[1:16:43] is make this situation worse, okay? 就是让情况更糟 好吗
[1:16:45] We are turning ourselves in and that’s the end. 我们要去自首 这就是结局
[1:16:48] Now, I’m going upstairs 现在 我要上楼
[1:16:49] to wipe this shit off my face, 去把我脸上的这些东西擦掉
[1:16:50] so I can at least look cute for my mug shot. 我至少可以在犯罪照片上看起来很可爱
[1:16:55] And self-waxing is not weird. 自助蜜蜡除毛并不奇怪
[1:16:59] I don’t appreciate your body-hair-removal shaming. 我不能理解你脱体毛 丢人
[1:17:04] Shame on you! And you! 你真丢脸 和你
[1:17:08] You’ve been fine. 你很好
[1:17:19] Did you hear that? What is that? 你听到了吗 那是什么
[1:17:22] What is that? Where is it? 那是什么 哪儿的声音
[1:17:25] Where’s it coming from? 哪里发出来的
[1:17:30] – Not these pillows. – Aw, fuck. No. -不是这些枕头 -操 不
[1:17:35] Fuck, it’s his phone. 操 是他的电话
[1:17:36] – Someone is looking for this guy. – Oh, my God. -有人在找这个人 -天哪
[1:17:38] – Turn it off. – I’m trying! – 关掉它 – 我在关
[1:17:40] – What’s going on? – Stop! Oh, my God. – 发生什么事 -停下来 天哪
[1:17:42] Someone is trying to track the stripper’s phone 有人在追踪脱衣舞男的手机
[1:17:44] and it looks like they’re… 看起来他们
[1:17:48] Here. 到这里了
[1:17:55] – Hello? – Miami PD. -你好 -迈阿密警察局
[1:17:58] Have you seen this man? 你见过这个人吗
[1:18:00] Oh, shit. 该死
[1:18:03] We tracked his phone to this house. 我们追踪他的电话到这所房子
[1:18:04] We know he’s in there. 我们知道他在里面
[1:18:08] It’s over. 结束了
[1:18:10] The jig is up. 完蛋了
[1:18:19] He’s dead. 他死了
[1:18:52] You ladies are lucky. 你们真幸运
[1:18:54] This man is very dangerous. 这个人很危险
[1:18:56] This guy robbed a jewelry store and killed a security guard. 这家伙抢了家珠宝店 杀了一名保安
[1:18:58] – Lot of people looking for him. – Oh, my God. What? -有很多人在找他 -天哪 什么
[1:19:00] Mmm-hmm. Yeah. He was on the run. 是的 他在逃亡中
[1:19:02] Probably came here looking for cover. 可能是想来这躲一阵子
[1:19:04] Sir, I’m… I’m sorry. 长官 我很抱歉
[1:19:06] Um, foreigner here. Just sort of want to be clear on the local law. 我是外国人 不太清楚本地的法律
[1:19:09] So, are we 那么我们是不是
[1:19:11] sort of, like, no longer in trouble? 不怎么需要负法律责任了吧
[1:19:15] Sounds like self-defense to me, right? 看起来像是正当防卫 对吧
[1:19:17] Oh, yeah, no, D.A.’s not gonna want to 是啊 检察院也不想
[1:19:18] press any charges on something like this. You’re good. 对这种案子提起诉讼 你们没事了
[1:19:21] – Oh, my God. – No, you’re kidding. -我的天哪 -你在开玩笑吧
[1:19:22] – Oh, my God! – Are you shitting me? -我的天啊 -你没在耍我吧
[1:19:25] Oh, my God! 我的天啊
[1:19:27] Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 天啊 我的天啊
[1:19:31] We’re heroes! We’re heroes. We’re American heroes. 我们是英雄 我们是美国英雄
[1:19:36] – Thank you, universe. – Jesus! -感谢苍天大地 -老天啊
[1:19:41] We killed a guy! And it was right! 我们杀了一个人 而且是正当的
[1:19:44] We were right to kill him! 我们杀他是正当的
[1:19:46] Fuck, yeah! 太他妈好了
[1:19:52] Jess. 杰西
[1:19:53] Hey, Jess. We’re not going to jail. 嘿 杰西 我们不会坐牢了
[1:19:56] I still might be, for unrelated things, 我可能还会因为别的事坐牢
[1:19:58] but you’re not, you’re safe. 但你不用 你平安无事了
[1:20:00] Jess? 杰西
[1:20:03] You should’ve seen us at the beginning. 你应该看看我们一开始的样子
[1:20:05] We were like Squabble City. 我们就像在演喧嚣之城一样
[1:20:06] We didn’t like each other. 我们不喜欢对方
[1:20:07] Now I can’t get her away from me. And I don’t want to. 现在我都赶不走她了 我也不想赶走她
[1:20:10] Did he happen to mention the diamonds? 他有没有提到过钻石
[1:20:12] Um, no, I think I would have remembered that. 没有吧 如果他提过的话我会记得的
[1:20:15] He didn’t say much of anything. 他也没说几句话
[1:20:17] Ladies, it’s… 女士们 这是
[1:20:18] It’s really important that you try to remember any details. 你们一定要尽量回忆起所有细节
[1:20:21] He was cis male. 他就是个普通男人
[1:20:24] Looked like he could, like, wash his car as a hobby activity. 像是那种平常喜欢自己洗车的人
[1:20:25] 珠宝店抢劫案 在逃嫌疑犯
[1:20:28] – Okay. – Oh, and he did have -好吧 -他还有个纹身
[1:20:30] this, like, deep “V.” 就像深V一样
[1:20:31] Sort of like two large snakes pointing down to a penis. 有点像两条大蛇指向他的鸡鸡
[1:20:36] This is a big house. 这房子这么大
[1:20:38] Any place he might’ve been able to stash something? 他有没有可能在哪里藏了东西
[1:20:40] Well, we did clean the entire house 我们打扫了整个房子
[1:20:42] and never came across his coat or phone, 也没发现他的外套或者手机
[1:20:44] so it’s definitely a possibility. 所以有你说的这个可能
[1:20:45] Tampon! 卫生棉条
[1:20:47] – What? – Blair. -什么 -布莱尔
[1:20:48] -What? – I need a tampon. -什么啊 -我需要一根卫生棉条
[1:20:51] I thought you use David cups. 你不是用的是戴维的杯子吗
[1:20:53] – Yeah. – No, never. Fuck off. -是啊 -不 从来不用 去你的
[1:20:56] Only tampons, the best of tampons! 我只用卫生棉条 最好的卫生棉条
[1:20:59] You took them from us. 你拿走了我们的卫生棉条
[1:21:01] – What? – And locked them in there, -什么 -然后锁在了那里
[1:21:04] – and you have the key. – What are you talking about? -钥匙在你那里 -你在说什么啊
[1:21:06] I didn’t lock away our tampons. I locked away our… 我没有把卫生棉条锁起来 锁起来的是
[1:21:12] Are we on the same page, Blair? 我们想法一致了吗 布莱尔
[1:21:15] Yes. 是的
[1:21:17] Lady, you want to get your friend a tampon or whatever? 女士 你要去给你朋友拿根卫生棉条吗
[1:21:19] Okay. One tampon coming up. 好吧 一根卫生棉条马上就来
[1:21:23] Okay… 好的
[1:21:24] Just be right back with that. 马上回来
[1:21:26] Well, I’m not on my period. 反正我没来例假
[1:21:28] It’s good to know. Thanks. 知道了 谢谢
[1:21:34] Key. 钥匙
[1:21:36] Shit. Shit. 该死 该死
[1:21:45] Quiet, be quiet, be quiet. 安静 安静 安静
[1:21:46] I just need to get my phone, okay? 我只是要拿我的手机 好吗
[1:21:47] – What the fuck is that? – Who’s that? -那是他妈什么声音 -那是谁
[1:21:49] Nothing. It’s… I don’t know. 没什么 我也不知道
[1:21:50] What the fuck was that? 那他妈是怎么回事
[1:21:51] This guy, it’s another thing. 有个男的 这是另一回事了
[1:21:53] – There’s more people here? – The real stripper. -这还有其他人吗 -真正的脱衣舞男
[1:21:55] Yeah. That’s the real stripper in there. The actual guy… 是的 那个才是真正的脱衣舞男
[1:21:58] – I just need to get to my phone. – Get back! Get back! -我只是要拿手机 -退后 退后
[1:22:00] I will not be your drug mule! 我不会帮你们运毒的
[1:22:01] What? Shh! Stop. Stop. Stop. 什么 安静 停下来
[1:22:03] – You better get back. Yeah. – Stop. Shh! -你最好退后 -停下来 安静点
[1:22:06] Breaking news and some updated information for everybody. 插播突发新闻和一些最新消息
[1:22:09] These assailants are armed and they’re dangerous. 这些抢劫犯持有武器 他们很危险
[1:22:11] No, it’s nothing, that’s… 电视上那个没什么 那是
[1:22:12] So if you’re inside your home, 所以如果你们在家的话
[1:22:13] make sure your windows and your doors are locked. 请一定要关好你们的门窗
[1:22:16] – Hey, Blondie! Come here! – No, no, no, no, no, no, no. -金发女 给老子滚过来 -不不不
[1:22:21] – Oh, the tampon. – Yeah, I know. -原来是卫生棉条啊 -是啊
[1:22:23] That’s what I was… I was using the code. 我刚才就是 我是在打暗语
[1:22:25] – I just want to get my real estate license! – Shut up! -我只想拿到我的房产证 -闭嘴
[1:22:27] Freeze! 别动
[1:22:29] Shut the fuck up! Don’t move! 闭上你们的嘴 不许动
[1:22:31] What the hell’s going on here? 这他妈是怎么一回事
[1:22:33] Come on. Let’s go, move it. Let’s go, tough guy. 来吧 我们走 走吧 猛男
[1:22:36] Everyone in America really does have a gun! 美国真的是人人都持枪啊
[1:22:40] Let’s go! Come on. You, too. Move it. 快走 你也是 动起来
[1:22:43] -Oh, my God. Playtime’s over. -我的天哪 -欢乐时光结束了
[1:22:45] We want those fucking diamonds now. 我们现在就要那些该死的钻石
[1:22:47] Look, I know you’re mad at the 1%. 听着 我知道你不满意百分之一的分成
[1:22:49] -I am, too. – What? Shut up! -我也不满意 -什么 闭嘴
[1:22:52] – Tie them up now. – Let’s go! -把他们绑起来 -乖乖配合点
[1:23:16] Jess, 杰西
[1:23:18] when I was growing up, I didn’t really have many friends. 在我小的时候 我没什么朋友
[1:23:21] And when I left for college, my mom was worried about me. 当我去上大学的时候 我妈妈很担心我
[1:23:24] And so was I. 我也很担心
[1:23:25] But then we met, 但后来我们认识了
[1:23:26] and the first night we went out, 然后在我们出去玩的第一个晚上
[1:23:28] you didn’t introduce me to people as your roommate, 你向别人介绍说我是你的朋友
[1:23:30] you introduced me as your friend. 而不只是你的室友
[1:23:32] And I knew everything was gonna be okay. 我就知道一切都会好起来的
[1:23:34] When I went home that summer 那个暑假我回到家
[1:23:36] and I showed my mom the photos of us hanging out, 给妈妈看了我们在一起的照片
[1:23:38] she was so happy. 她特别开心
[1:23:40] She doesn’t always recognize me anymore, 她不是每次都能认出我来
[1:23:42] but when I show her those old photos, 但是每当我给她看看这些老照片的时候
[1:23:44] she says to me, “That’s my daughter with all her friends.” 她就说 那是我女儿和她所有的朋友们
[1:23:48] That’s how she remembers me. 她记忆中的我就是那样的
[1:23:50] Thanks to you. 多亏了你
[1:23:52] I can’t wait to show her all the photos from this weekend. 我等不及要给她看这个周末拍的照片了
[1:23:55] You were there for me, 你陪我度过了那些年
[1:23:56] and I will always be here for you. 现在我会永远在这陪着你
[1:23:59] Love, Alice. 爱你的 爱丽丝
[1:24:00] P. S. There are some wet wipes in here, 另外 信里面有些地方湿了
[1:24:02] because I ordered an ice cream cake 因为我点了个冰淇淋蛋糕
[1:24:04] and I know you have issues with dairy. 我知道你对乳品消化不好
[1:24:07] Smiliest face. 给你的灿烂笑脸
[1:24:15] Come here. Let’s go. Come here. 过来 快点 过来
[1:24:16] They found me on Craigslist. 她们在分类广告上找到的我
[1:24:18] I’m not even with them! 我跟她们都不是一块儿的
[1:24:20] God damn it. 真是见鬼了
[1:24:23] Oh, shit. 该死
[1:24:25] Jay double-crossed us, 杰出卖了我们
[1:24:26] and he took off with our score. 他拿着我们的钻石跑了
[1:24:29] So, tell me, 现在 告诉我
[1:24:30] where’d he put it? 他把它们藏哪儿了
[1:24:31] I told you, we don’t know. 我跟你说过 我们不知道
[1:24:33] Sir, I could wire you $50,000 right now 先生 如果你让我们走
[1:24:35] if you just let us go, okay? 我可以马上给你汇5万美元 好吗
[1:24:37] Whoa, whoa, whoa. 50, 000 what? 5万什么
[1:24:40] There’s over $2 million worth of diamonds in this house, 这房子里有价值200多万美元的钻石
[1:24:42] and I am going to find them. 我会找到它们的
[1:24:44] You shoot anyone who moves. 谁敢乱动你就开枪
[1:24:47] – Oh, my God. – Please. -我的天哪 -求你了
[1:25:25] Fuck! 操
[1:25:26] Damn it! Fuck! 他妈的 操
[1:25:30] Don’t make a fucking sound or I will kill you. 别出声 否则我就杀了你
[1:25:41] What? 什么
[1:25:43] Handcuff yourself to the sink. 把你自己铐在水槽上
[1:25:45] – Fuck you. – Now. -去你妈的 -现在就动手
[1:25:48] Okay. Okay. 好吧 好吧
[1:26:04] What the fuck? 你他妈要干嘛
[1:26:17] No… 不
[1:26:25] You don’t know anything, huh? 你什么都不知道是吗
[1:26:27] Well, that smells like bullshit. 听起来就像在胡说八道
[1:26:28] Hurry up, man! 老兄 动作快点
[1:26:30] Do I look stupid to you? 你当我是傻子吗
[1:26:32] You expect me to believe that you killed Jay by accident? 你以为我会相信你是不小心杀了杰吗
[1:26:37] That’s a bad accident. 那真是好巧不巧
[1:26:39] It’s a big fucking accident. 真他妈的巧了
[1:26:45] I am about to lose my fucking shit. 我快要失去耐心了
[1:26:47] Jay’s dead, and you expect me to believe 你们杀了杰 还想说服我
[1:26:48] that you guys don’t know anything? Hmm? 你们什么都不知道吗
[1:26:50] New plan. You’re gonna watch each other die, 换个办法 你会看着彼此死去
[1:26:53] until one of you opens your fucking mouth! 直到你们中的一个人开口
[1:26:55] – And I’m gonna start with you. – No! -先从你开始 -不
[1:26:57] Oh, God. I love you, Frankie. 天哪 我爱你 弗兰基
[1:27:00] I love you, too. 我也爱你
[1:27:07] Jess! Jess! 杰西 杰西
[1:27:08] Yes! 好样的
[1:27:15] – Not her beautiful face! – Come on, Jess! -别打她那漂亮的脸蛋 -加把劲杰西
[1:27:22] – You perv! – Come on. -你个死变态 -喂拜托
[1:27:24] No, hey, hey, hey! 不 嘿 嘿
[1:27:27] You guys! The gun! 大家伙 那把枪
[1:27:30] Shimmy. Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, shimmy. 摇一摇 摆一摆 摇一摇 摆一摆
[1:27:36] Okay. Okay. 好了 好了
[1:27:41] – Right there. – Okay. Yeah. -就在那里 -对
[1:27:42] One. Two. 一 二
[1:27:44] – Three! – Okay. -三 -好了
[1:27:45] Oh, God. Squat. 天啊 蹲下来
[1:27:47] – Oh, God. Oh, God. – Do you have it? -天哪 天哪 -你拿到了吗
[1:27:49] Yes. 拿到了
[1:27:56] Point me in his direction. 让我对着他的方向
[1:28:02] I don’t have a shot! Your leg is in the way! 我没法开枪 你的腿挡住枪口了
[1:28:05] – No, no. Please. – Up! -不 不 求你了 -起来
[1:28:07] No, please. 不 求你了
[1:28:12] I shot a guy! 我打中了一个人
[1:28:13] – Yes! – I killed another person. -太好了 -我又杀了个人
[1:28:16] You fucking… 你他妈的
[1:28:19] Yes! 好样的
[1:28:23] Oh, my God, you guys! 天哪 你们大家真是
[1:28:26] That was awesome. 你做的太棒了
[1:28:27] Alice, I’m so sorry. 爱丽丝 我很抱歉
[1:28:28] No, I’m sorry. 不 该道歉的是我
[1:28:29] No. I said things that I didn’t mean. 不 我说了一些违心的话
[1:28:32] I think it was just the stress of killing somebody 我觉得可能是因为杀人的压力
[1:28:34] and then trying to dispose of his body. 还有尝试抛尸那事
[1:28:36] – Wait, what? – Totally. -等等 什么 -没错
[1:28:38] – That’s a hard thing. – Yeah, you’re right. -那是件很困难的事 -而且你说对了
[1:28:40] I have changed. 我确实变了
[1:28:41] I thought that I was making people’s lives better, 我以为我在改善人们的生活
[1:28:43] but I forgot about the people that make my life better, 但我忘了那些让我的生活变得更好的人
[1:28:45] and that’s you guys. 那就是你们大家
[1:28:46] And I love you, and I’m sorry. We love you, too. 我爱你 我很抱歉
[1:28:48] We love you too. 我们也爱你
[1:28:49] – We love you, Jess! – I’m sorry, too. -我们爱你 杰西 -我也很抱歉
[1:28:52] And you know what? I know that I’m a lot. 你知道吗 我很了解我自己
[1:28:54] And you were right, I need to stop living in the past 你是对的 我需要停止生活在过去
[1:28:57] and get a hobby, you know? Well, it could help, right? -找个爱好 -至少这会有帮助
[1:28:59] Next time we see each other, we can make new memories 下次我们见面时 可以创造新的记忆
[1:29:01] instead of just talking about the old ones. 而不只是谈论旧的
[1:29:04] Um, these zip ties are really starting to hurt. 这些领带嘞的开始疼了啊
[1:29:06] And I’m sorry about Peter, okay? 我对皮特很抱歉 好吗
[1:29:07] He does not suck. You should totally marry him. 他不烂 你应该和他结婚
[1:29:10] – Well, I will. – Good. You should. -我会的 -很好 你应该
[1:29:12] I mean, I had a sex dream about him, 我是说 我还做了一个有关他的春梦
[1:29:14] and I didn’t even tell you. 我甚至都没有告诉你
[1:29:15] No, you actually did tell me. 不 你说了
[1:29:16] You told everybody. 你告诉了所有人
[1:29:17] You started a group text. 你还建了一个群
[1:29:18] It started with him brushing my hair… 故事从他给我梳头开始
[1:29:20] You know what? I’m gonna untie you guys now. 你知道吗 我要把你们都解开
[1:29:21] Awesome. Yeah. Okay, great. -真好 -是啊 好的 很好
[1:29:22] – Here, give me the gun. – It was morning… -把枪给我 -那是个早上
[1:29:24] Drop the gun! 放下枪
[1:29:26] Drop it. Damn it. 放下它 该死
[1:29:30] The keys were taped to the handcuffs, you fucking idiot. 钥匙就粘在手铐上 你个白痴
[1:29:35] You’re all dead. All of you. 你们都死定了 你们所有人
[1:29:36] – No. – No, Jess. -不 -不 杰西
[1:29:39] Oh, really? Come on. Whatever. 认真的吗 随便了
[1:29:44] What? What? What? 什么 什么 什么
[1:29:47] What? 什么
[1:29:52] Oh, my God! Is that Peter? 天哪 那是皮特吗
[1:29:59] Oh, my God. Is he… 天哪 是他
[1:30:01] – Peter! – You guys, what’s happening back there? -皮特 -伙计们 后面发生了什么
[1:30:03] I can’t see. 我看不见
[1:30:06] Peter? Peter. 皮特 皮特
[1:30:08] Peter. 皮特
[1:30:09] – Jess. – Are you okay? -杰西 -你没事吧
[1:30:12] Do you not like my dick? 你不喜欢我的老二吗
[1:30:15] What? 什么
[1:30:16] Does it bend weird when it gets hard, or, like… 当它变硬的时候 会变得很奇怪吗
[1:30:18] I don’t know, is it… 我不知道 是不是
[1:30:19] What? No, I love it. 什么 不 我很喜欢
[1:30:21] So, you still want to get married? 你还想结婚吗
[1:30:23] Yes. More than ever I want to get married. I love you. 比以往任何时候都想 我爱你
[1:30:28] I want that. 我酸了
[1:30:31] Peter… 皮特
[1:30:32] Let’s just get married. Let’s get married this weekend. 我们结婚吧 我们这个周末就结吧
[1:30:35] Well, what about the campaign? Didn’t you want to wait 那竞选呢 你不是想等到
[1:30:37] till after the election, and… 选举结束吗
[1:30:38] I don’t want to wait. Everyone I love is right here. 我不想等了 我爱的每个人都在这里
[1:30:41] That’s all that matters. 这才是最重要的
[1:30:43] What about your parents? 你父母呢
[1:30:44] Oh, my parents aren’t gonna care. They eloped. 我父母不会在乎的 他们是私奔的
[1:30:46] I mean, my mom did say to lock that down as soon as possible. 不过我妈妈确实说要尽快定下这门婚事
[1:30:49] – She did? – She loves you. -是吗 -她喜欢你
[1:30:52] – I love you. Let’s do it. – Let’s do it. -我爱你 我们结婚吧 -我们结婚吧
[1:30:54] Yes! 太好了
[1:30:56] Oh, I have the perfect place. 我想到一个完美的地方
[1:31:01] Do you, Jessica, 你 杰西卡
[1:31:03] take Peter to be your husband? 愿意接受皮特为你的丈夫吗
[1:31:06] I do. 我愿意
[1:31:07] And do you, Peter, take Jessica to be your wife? 皮特 你愿意娶杰西卡为妻吗
[1:31:12] I definitely do. 当然愿意
[1:31:16] Now, by the power vested in me 现在 以getordainednow.net
[1:31:19] by GetOrdainedNow.Net, 赋予我的权力
[1:31:23] I pronounce you husband and wife. 我宣布你们为夫妻
[1:31:25] You may kiss the groom. 你可以吻新郎了
[1:31:32] So glad I didn’t sell our passes to the foam party. 很高兴我没有把泡沫派对的通行证给卖了
[1:31:35] – Yeah! – Right? -是啊 -是吧
[1:31:48] So, you guys are just not in trouble? 你们没麻烦吗
[1:31:50] No, we’re, like, completely free. 不 我们完全自由了
[1:31:53] We’ve committed what in Florida is 我们犯下了在佛罗里达州所谓的
[1:31:55] known as a “good murder.” 正义谋杀罪
[1:31:56] That’s a direct quote from the Miami PD. 这是迈阿密警察局的亲口所述
[1:31:58] So, not only do we not have to go to jail, 所以 我们不仅不必坐牢
[1:32:02] but we got a sick coupon 而且还得到了一张
[1:32:04] to Romano’s Macaroni Grill. 罗曼诺通心粉烧烤的优惠券
[1:32:06] – Do you want to dance, Pippa? – Yeah, okay. -你想跳舞吗 皮帕 -好啊
[1:32:09] But call me Kiwi, okay? 但叫我猕猴桃 好吗
[1:32:11] All my best friends do. 我所有最好的朋友都这么叫
[1:32:16] – Hey. – Hi. -嘿 -你好
[1:32:18] Can I get you a drink? 我能给你拿杯饮料吗
[1:32:21] No. 不了
[1:32:23] ‘Cause I’m on a date with someone else, so… 因为我在和别人约会 所以
[1:32:26] – Hey. – Hot. -嘿 -真火辣
[1:32:28] You’re a hot guy. Cool. 你是个帅哥 酷
[1:32:34] Here you go. 给
[1:32:36] Oh, my God. 天哪
[1:32:39] Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your feet are? 有人告诉过你你的脚有多漂亮吗
[1:32:43] No one’s ever said that to me before. 从来没有
[1:32:46] You should’ve been told that a million times. 你应该被告知无数次
[1:32:49] Do you want to… 你想
[1:32:51] – Fuck? – Fuck? -为爱鼓掌吗 -鼓掌
[1:32:55] Keep it moving. We’re a thing. 继续走 我们是拉
[1:32:58] Love wins. 爱情胜利
[1:33:00] What’d you just say? 你刚才说什么
[1:33:02] I don’t know. I mean, 我不知道 我是说
[1:33:03] who knows if it will work out? 谁知道我们能不能成呢
[1:33:05] And I don’t know how you’re gonna get to New York. 而且我不知道你要怎么去纽约
[1:33:07] I guess hitchhike, 我猜搭便车吧
[1:33:08] but… 但是
[1:33:08] I already have my bags packed, actually, so… 我已经打包好了 所以
[1:33:10] Well, just ’cause I’m between places… 只不过总是我四处奔波
[1:33:14] Shut up. 闭嘴
[1:33:21] Okay. Yeah. 可以 是啊
[1:33:22] Babe. It’s for you. 宝贝 找你的
[1:33:25] – Hello? – Jess, it’s me. -你好 -杰西 是我
[1:33:27] That story about you and your friends taking out those criminals 你和你的朋友击败那些罪犯的故事
[1:33:29] is everywhere! 现在到处都是
[1:33:30] Okay? We’re getting donations and volunteers. 好吗 我们不断受到捐款和志愿者
[1:33:32] – What? – Jess, you’re gonna win this thing. -什么 -杰西 你会赢的
[1:33:35] Are you serious? That’s amazing. 你是认真的吗 太棒了
[1:33:37] Yeah, we’re getting a ton of media requests. 是的 我们收到了大量媒体的采访请求
[1:33:39] Okay, Good Morning America, Ellen. 早安美国 艾伦秀
[1:33:41] Okay, you have to get back here right now. 你得马上回来
[1:33:43] I’m gonna get you out on the next flight. 我帮你订下一趟飞机
[1:33:45] Do you prefer window or aisle? 你喜欢靠窗还是靠过道
[1:33:46] I’m more of a middle seat guy myself, but… 我自己更喜欢坐中间 但是
[1:33:48] You know what? I’m actually getting married. 你知道吗 我其实要结婚了
[1:33:50] But, um, I’ll be there first thing Monday morning. 但这会是我星期一早上的第一件
[1:33:53] You’re getting married? Jess, I’m in love with you. 你要结婚了吗 杰西 我爱上你了
[1:33:57] – Take a picture of us? – Yeah, yeah, yeah. -给我们拍张照 -是的 是的
[1:33:58] Cool! 酷
[1:34:00] – I love you guys. – We love you. -我爱你们 -我们也爱你
[1:34:03] Three. 三
[1:34:06] Can I see? 我能看看吗
[1:34:09] No. My arm looks too thick. 不 我的胳膊看起来太粗了
[1:34:13] – Another one? – One more. -再来一张吗 -再来一张
[1:34:14] Okay, okay, okay. 好的 好的 好的
[1:34:20] Ooh. I love it. That, I love. 我喜欢 我喜欢
[1:34:21] – Alice, you can tag me. – Finally. -爱丽丝 你可以给我贴标签了 -终于
[1:36:04] Congratulations to State Senator Jess Thayer! 祝贺州参议员杰西·塞耶
[1:36:09] Thank you. 谢谢您
[1:36:10] My number one boss bitch! Whoo! 我的头号老板婊子
[1:36:15] And now to celebrate her win, 现在为了庆祝她的胜利
[1:36:17] we have a special request. 我们有一个特别的要求
[1:36:19] Me? 我吗
[1:36:23] Thank you so much. 非常感谢
[1:36:25] I actually have a surprise for all of you. Um… 我给你们准备了一个惊喜
[1:36:28] I’ve written a song 我写了一首歌
[1:36:30] that I hope can sort of encapsulate, 我希望能展现
[1:36:34] um, the bond of friendship that we all have. 我们之间的友谊
[1:36:38] And so, I want to play it for you now. 所以 我现在就想为你们演奏
[1:36:41] Sometimes 有时
[1:36:46] You kill a man 你杀了一个人
[1:36:49] When he’s taking off his clothes for you 当他为你脱衣服的时候
[1:36:54] You kill a man 你杀了一个人
[1:36:58] You kill him with your friends 你和你的朋友一起杀了他
[1:37:01] And he dies 他死了
[1:37:07] Jesus, it’s good. 天哪 很好
[1:37:08] Other times 其他时候
[1:37:12] When you kill a man 当你杀了一个人
[1:37:15] You need to toss his body in the ocean 你得把他的尸体扔进海里
[1:37:21] And you don’t care 你不在乎
[1:37:24] ‘Cause your friends are there by your side 因为你的朋友在你身边
[1:37:30] They make it fun 他们让它变得有趣
[1:37:33] I love you, girls 我爱你 姑娘们
[1:37:36] I love you, Pippa! 我爱你 皮帕
[1:37:38] We killed a man 我们杀了一个人
[1:37:40] We made a plan 我们制定了一个计划
[1:37:43] You are my friends 你是我的朋友
[1:37:46] And I’ll never forget 我永远不会忘记
[1:37:49] This bachelorette 这个单身派对
[1:37:59] That’s the end. 结束了
[1:39:14] Do you guys want to come up? Um… 你们想上来吗
[1:39:17] No, no, no. Don’t come up. Don’t come up. 不 不 不 别上来 别上来
[1:39:19] – ‘Cause I got to do stuff. – What? -因为我得做些事情 -什么
[1:39:21] So, I will see you at Nussbaum’s at 10:00. 所以 我10点在努斯鲍姆等你
[1:39:24] No, no. 12:30. 不 12:30
[1:39:26] – Okay. – I don’t want to get up. -可以 -我不想早起
[1:39:29] Okay, you guys, go. Go, go, go. 好吧 你们走吧 走 走 走
[1:39:30] We want to make sure that you get in okay. 我们要确认你安全回家
[1:39:32] – You’re obsessed with me. – We love you. -你对我太痴迷了 -我们爱你
[1:39:35] I love you. 我爱你
[1:39:46] Bullshit. 瞎扯
[1:39:53] Yes! 太好了
2017年

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