时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:03] | The assault on your predecessor, Melanie Dorkus. | 你的前任梅勒妮·多克斯遭到了毒害 |
[00:06] | I think you did it. | 我觉得是你做的 |
[00:07] | These morons need someone to tear them a new one. | 这些白痴急需有人调教一下 |
[00:10] | I am going to write the missive to end all missives. | 我要写封信以终结这一切 |
[00:13] | – Pete… – I can’t! | -皮特 -我做不到 |
[00:15] | I don’t want your first time to be with a murderer. | 我不想你的第一次被杀人狂夺走 |
[00:20] | Wait. | 等等 |
[00:21] | You’re the Red Devil killer? | 你是红衣恶魔吗 |
[00:22] | No. Well, yes. | 不 好吧 我是 |
[00:23] | W-Well, no, but sort of. Grace, you can’t leave. | 我不是 算是吧 格蕾丝 你不能走 |
[00:26] | Not until I’m done telling you everything. | 至少等我跟你摊完牌 |
[00:28] | Okay? I love you. I would never, ever hurt you. | 我爱你 我永远绝对不会伤害你 |
[00:30] | I promise you’re safe. That was part of the deal. | 我保证你是安全的 这是合约的一部分 |
[00:32] | You could never be touched. | 没人会动你一根汗毛 |
[00:33] | Deal? | 合约 |
[00:39] | The night the security guard was killed outside of Kappa, | 那保安在卡帕公馆外被杀的那天 |
[00:42] | I was there, doing my job– snooping. | 我在现场 一如既往地偷窥着你们 |
[00:44] | I risked my life. | 我冒着生命危险 |
[00:47] | I followed the Red Devil | 一路尾随红魔鬼 |
[00:48] | right to the Dickie Dollar Scholars House. | 来到迪基奖学金协会 |
[00:53] | I followed him inside, | 我跟踪他进了屋 |
[00:54] | saw him taking off his costume. | 亲眼看他脱下了戏服 |
[00:57] | It was Boone. | 是布恩 |
[00:58] | That was weeks ago. | 那都是几星期之前的事了 |
[01:00] | Wh-Why didn’t you turn him in? | 你为什么不揭发他 |
[01:01] | How many lives could you have saved? | 你要是说出来能拯救多少生命 |
[01:02] | I was… I was totally going to, I swear. | 我本来是要去的 我发誓 |
[01:04] | But then he started talking to me. | 但他开始和我沟通 |
[01:06] | He laid the whole thing out: | 他把一切都摊牌了 |
[01:07] | why he was doing what he was doing, | 他为什么要这么做 |
[01:09] | how Kappa had to be stopped, | 为什么卡帕公馆必须得被阻止 |
[01:10] | how they killed his mother, | 他们怎么杀了他妈妈 |
[01:12] | how they were humanity at their worst, | 他们代表着人性最丑恶的那一面 |
[01:14] | how Kappa had to pay. | 他们得付出代价 |
[01:16] | And then I realized his mission and our mission were the same. | 然后我才意识到 他和我们的目标是一样的 |
[01:20] | Our mission never involved killing anyone. | 我们的目标里从没有杀人 |
[01:23] | Oh, really? | 真的吗 |
[01:24] | How was that apple cider you gave Dean Munsch, Grace? | 你怎么解释给蒙什教务长的苹果酒 格蕾丝 |
[01:28] | Don’t be mad at Boone or at me for realizing before you did | 别因为我们比你醒悟得早 就怨我和布恩 |
[01:32] | that the only way to really, really bring Chanel | 要把香奈儿们彻底扳倒 |
[01:34] | and her type down was bringing them all the way | 唯一的办法就是把她们拽回地上 |
[01:36] | down to the ground, under the ground. | 一路埋到地底下 |
[01:40] | Everybody thinks the Red Devil | 大家一想到红衣恶魔 |
[01:42] | “Ooh, he’s the bad guy in all of this.” | 都觉得”他才是罪魁祸首” |
[01:44] | But, no, he’s not the monster. No, no, no, no, no. | 但他不是真正的恶魔 不不不 |
[01:46] | The Kappas. The Chanels. | 卡帕公馆 香奈儿们 |
[01:48] | The dinosaur of a Greek system. | 兄弟会姐妹会那些腐朽的规章制度 |
[01:50] | They are the beast. | 他们才是真正的禽兽 |
[01:52] | More than half of students | 超过一半加入姐妹会或兄弟会的学生们 |
[01:53] | that join sororities or fraternities get hazed, | 都曾被狠狠地羞辱 |
[01:55] | and it’s not just wearing raw chickens on their heads | 那可不仅仅是头上戴生鸡 |
[01:57] | and calling each other gay slurs while jumping around naked. | 或赤身裸体互相谩骂那种羞辱 |
[02:00] | And let’s just put aside the psychological damage | 且不说每一个 |
[02:03] | done to each and every one of them that were just | 只是想找到归属感的学生 |
[02:05] | looking for a place to belong, | 受到的精神伤害 |
[02:07] | and instead spent months being verbally abused | 他们数月被口头羞辱 |
[02:09] | about being a pound overweight | 就因为体重超了一磅 |
[02:10] | or not having the right pair of Air Jordans. | 或是买的球鞋不对 |
[02:14] | 104 deaths, Grace. | 死了104人啊 格蕾丝 |
[02:17] | 104 deaths and counting since 1970. | 从1970年以来 已经死了104人了 |
[02:22] | I mean, how many has the Red Devil killed, huh? | 红衣恶魔才杀了几个呢 |
[02:25] | Eight? Ten, maybe? | 八个 还是十个 |
[02:26] | I mean, come on. | 拜托 |
[02:27] | It’s not even a competition. | 这根本没法比 |
[02:29] | That beast is going to keep on feeding on young lives | 直到有人斩首那只头顶圣光的禽兽 |
[02:32] | until someone cuts its highlight-covered head off. | 它将不断吞噬年轻的生命 |
[02:36] | Oh, and besides, | 哦 还有 |
[02:37] | Boone said there were other killers, too. | 布恩说了 还有其他杀手 |
[02:38] | It was a conspiracy. If I turned him in, | 这是个群体阴谋 如果我供出了他 |
[02:41] | we would have never found out who they were. | 我们就永远别想找到其他人了 |
[02:43] | Stop rationalizing it. | 别给自己找理由 |
[02:45] | You killed people. You’re not allowed to just say, | 你杀了人 你不能说 |
[02:47] | “Yeah, but I had a super good reason for it.” | “没错 但我理由很充分啊” |
[02:51] | Who did you kill? | 你杀了谁 |
[03:04] | This feels so good. | 太爽了 |
[03:11] | Roger. | 罗杰 |
[03:25] | Or D-Dodger. | 还是多杰 |
[03:27] | I-I don’t know. I get them all mixed up. | 我不知道 他俩我分不清 |
[03:29] | Hey, hey, hey! Grace, Grace, no. | 嘿嘿 格蕾丝 格蕾丝 别 |
[03:31] | Grace. Grace. | 格蕾丝 格蕾丝 |
[03:36] | What, are you gonna kill me now? | 怎么 你要杀了我吗 |
[03:38] | No. I would never hurt you. | 不 我绝不会伤害你 |
[03:40] | I just can’t let you leave. | 但我不能就这么让你走 |
[03:41] | Not until I’m done telling you everything! | 我得说完你才能走 |
[03:50] | I really liked you, Pete. | 我真的很喜欢你 皮特 |
[03:52] | – Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. – Stop, stop, stop, stop… | -不不不 -停下 停下 |
[03:54] | No, no, I’m not letting you go from my life that easily, Grace. | 不 我不会让你那么轻易就走出我的人生的 |
[03:56] | – Stop. – Grace. I know that | -停下 -格蕾丝 我知道 |
[03:59] | – if you could just… – Stop. | -只要你能… -别说了 |
[04:00] | – hear what I have to say, to understand… – Please. | -听听我的理由 理解… -求你了 |
[04:03] | why I did what I did, you could still love me. | 我为什么那么做 你还会爱我的 |
[04:08] | That guy, Roger, | 那个叫罗杰的 |
[04:10] | was terrible to his brother, did you know that? | 你知道他虐待他弟弟吗 |
[04:12] | His whole life. | 一辈子都在虐待他 |
[04:14] | He-he ripped off Dodger’s left nipple in utero. | 他们还没出生 他就扯掉了多杰的左乳头 |
[04:17] | Don’t try to justify it all after the fact. | 别再事后找理由了 |
[04:19] | You were just mad that the Dickie Dollars Scholars rejected you. | 你就是因为没能加入迪基奖学金协会而生气 |
[04:22] | Of course I was. They’re just as bad as the Kappa girls. | 我当然生气了 他们和卡帕的女孩一样坏 |
[04:24] | But, Grace, you have to understand, I had no choice. | 但格蕾丝 你要明白 我别无选择 |
[04:26] | – No, no, no, no, no! – They showed up one day thinking that I was | -别 不要 -有一天他们突然出现 |
[04:28] | a double agent, that I couldn’t be trusted. | 说我是双面间谍 不可信 |
[04:30] | They were going to kill me. | 他们要杀了我 |
[04:31] | Hey, hey, you can trust me, you can trust me! | 你们可以相信我 可以相信我 |
[04:33] | Ask me and I’ll do anything. I’ll prove it. | 我全听你们的 我会证明给你们看 |
[04:36] | It was Roger or me. | 不是罗杰死 就是我亡 |
[04:39] | Don’t you see that they did that on purpose?! | 你没看出来他们是故意的吗 |
[04:41] | They knew that if you actually killed someone, | 他们知道如果你真的杀了人 |
[04:43] | you would be their slave! | 就永远是他们的奴隶了 |
[04:44] | God! We were the good guys. | 天哪 我们才是好人 |
[04:47] | We were in this together! | 我们是一条绳上的蚂蚱 |
[04:48] | I did this for you. | 我是为了你才杀人的 |
[04:50] | Don’t you understand? | 你还不明白吗 |
[04:52] | I did this to be one of the good guys, Grace. | 我这样都是为了做一个好人 格蕾丝 |
[04:55] | I mean, come on. | 你有什么好生气的 |
[04:56] | You practically told me to. | 整件事不都是你指使的吗 |
[04:57] | Don’t you remember driving back from seeing Mandy? | 你还记得去看望曼迪回来的那一路吗 |
[05:01] | The more I hear about this whole thing, | 我越了解这整件事 |
[05:03] | the more I’m starting to think the idea that there are good | 我越开始觉得把人分为好人和坏人 |
[05:05] | and bad people in the world is just something | 不过是大人们编造出来 |
[05:07] | adults use to get children to stay in line. | 让小孩子听话的故事而已 |
[05:11] | Well, Nietzsche said, | 尼采说过 |
[05:12] | “You have your way, | “你有你的路 |
[05:13] | I have my way. | 我有我的路 |
[05:14] | As for the right way, | 至于适当的路 |
[05:17] | the correct way and the only way, | 所谓正确的和唯一的路 |
[05:19] | it does not exist.” | 这样的路并不存在” |
[05:20] | Exactly. | 说的一点没错 |
[05:22] | I mean, how can you possibly stop an evil | 要是凡事都循规蹈矩 我们根本没有办法 |
[05:24] | as old as Kappa House while you’re playing by the rules? | 阻止一个和卡帕公馆一样老的恶魔 |
[05:28] | I mean, aren’t we being naive? | 我们是不是太天真了 |
[05:31] | What are you suggesting? | 你什么意思 |
[05:34] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
[05:36] | It’s just… | 只是… |
[05:39] | maybe the Red Devil has the right idea. | 也许红衣恶魔的想法是对的 |
[05:44] | You took me literally? | 你居然只理解了其中的字面意思 |
[05:47] | If you gaze long enough into an abyss, | 凝视深渊过久 |
[05:51] | that abyss will gaze back into you. | 深渊将回以凝视 |
[05:56] | That is Nietzsche, too, Grace. | 这也是尼采说的 格蕾丝 |
[05:58] | You’re quoting Nietzsche? Seriously? | 都这时候了还引用尼采 |
[06:01] | You are already a murderer, Pete, | 你已经是个杀人犯了 皮特 |
[06:02] | you don’t have to be a douche as well! | 你不用再当一个混蛋 |
[06:04] | This is not a philosophy course. | 这不是哲学课 |
[06:06] | This is murder– serial murder! | 这是谋杀 连环谋杀 |
[06:12] | I agree. | 我同意 |
[06:15] | Which is why I decided to make it all stop. | 所以我决定阻止这一切 |
[06:19] | So I killed Boone. | 于是我杀了布恩 |
[06:24] | He asked me to come help kill Gigi, | 他让我帮他杀了琪琪 |
[06:27] | but I knew this was my chance to finally end this. | 但我知道 这是我了结这一切的时机 |
[06:31] | Gigi was the planner, | 琪琪是谋划者 |
[06:32] | the George Clooney in their psycho Ocean’s Eleven, | 是他们这疯版《瞒天过海》里的乔治·克鲁尼 |
[06:35] | but Boone was the muscle. | 但布恩是最终执行的那个人 |
[06:37] | Without him… | 没了他 |
[06:38] | No! | 不 |
[06:42] | They could never keep this whole thing going. | 他们就没法继续杀人了 |
[06:47] | But after I did that, | 我杀了布恩之后 |
[06:48] | I-I… I decided no more. | 我决定不再杀人了 |
[06:52] | It was time to stop. | 是时候收手了 |
[06:55] | Except for shooting Chanel with the crossbow | 虽然我还用十字弩射伤了香奈儿 |
[06:57] | and then that other police guy, but that was self-defense. | 后来又弄死了那个警察 但那都是自卫 |
[07:01] | That was you? | 那都是你干的 |
[07:16] | Grace. | 格蕾丝 |
[07:19] | I had to finish that part of it. | 我必须得把那一段丑事做个了结 |
[07:22] | The only way to justify this whole thing | 要让一切变得顺理成章 |
[07:24] | was if her reign of terror was ended. | 只有彻底结束恐怖统治 |
[07:29] | You and I never talked about what she did to me last year. | 我们从没谈过她去年对我做了什么 |
[07:33] | She led me on for months. | 她骗了我好几个月 |
[07:36] | She said she was looking to experiment sexually | 她说想找一个不像查德那么蠢的人 |
[07:38] | by being with a guy who wasn’t a three-pump chump like Chad. | 和她做一个性实验 |
[07:42] | She wanted to play out her deepest, | 她想和我展现出她心底最深 |
[07:44] | darkest fantasies with me. | 最黑暗的幻想 |
[07:47] | I was so young and desperate to be special and loved. | 我当时太年轻 只想得到别人的关注和爱 |
[07:50] | I never had a real girlfriend before. | 我之前从没有过真正意义上的女朋友 |
[07:52] | Are you sure this is what you want? | 你确定要这样吗 |
[07:54] | I was vulnerable enough to share my darkest fetish with you, | 我已经脆弱到能跟你分享我最黑暗的幻想 |
[07:57] | and now you’re making me feel self-conscious. | 你现在弄得我很不好意思 |
[07:59] | Just come in and take me now. | 快进来上我吧 |
[08:02] | And don’t forget the dialogue. | 别忘了说台词 |
[08:15] | You are ridiculously and laughably gullible. | 你真是好骗到一种荒谬又可笑的地步 |
[08:19] | I can’t believe | 真不敢相信 |
[08:20] | that you actually believed that Chanel would be turned on | 你居然以为香奈儿会被《爱拉与穴熊族》里的 |
[08:22] | by Daryl Hannah in Clan of the Cave Bear. | 戴瑞尔·汉娜挑起性欲 |
[08:34] | What self-respecting man wouldn’t do | 哪个有自尊心的男人不会去 |
[08:36] | anything to get revenge for being degraded like that? | 用尽一切手段来报复这样的羞辱 |
[08:40] | Unfortunately, I don’t have great aim with a crossbow | 只可惜 戴着面具我看不到东西 |
[08:42] | and I can’t see anything in that mask. | 没法用十字弩瞄准她 |
[08:46] | I don’t want to be here anymore. | 我不想再呆在这里了 |
[08:48] | I feel sick. | 好恶心 |
[08:50] | This isn’t what I wanted. | 这不是我想要的 |
[08:52] | Yes, it is. Yes, it is. | 是的 是你想要的 |
[08:55] | Okay? Don’t judge me for what we both know had to happen. | 得了吧 别为我们都知道会发生的事指责我 |
[08:59] | Don’t you see I did this all for you? | 你看不出来我做这一切都是为了你吗 |
[09:02] | For us? | 是为了我们吗 |
[09:03] | To give you what you wanted, | 我是想满足你 |
[09:05] | to clean up the whole mess that Chanel made of Kappa. | 清除所有香奈儿给卡帕制造的麻烦 |
[09:09] | You know what, let’s just run away together. | 这样吧 我们一起逃离这里好了 |
[09:11] | You and me. Forget everything. | 就咱俩 忘却一切 |
[09:13] | Let the other killer finish what we started. | 让另一个杀手来完结我们开始的事 |
[09:17] | Don’t you see how much I love you? | 你看不出来我有多爱你吗 |
[09:18] | Don’t you see what I’m willing to do for you? | 你看不出来我愿为你付出一切吗 |
[09:21] | I hate you, Pete. | 我恨你 皮特 |
[09:23] | You are everything I have been fighting against. | 你是我之前最痛恨的那个人 |
[09:28] | I never want to see you again. | 我不想再见到你 |
[09:30] | If you want me to stay, | 你想留下我的话 |
[09:33] | you’re gonna have to kill me. | 就只能杀了我 |
[09:40] | But if you leave, I won’t be able to tell you | 可如果你走了 我就没法告诉你 |
[09:42] | who the other killer is. | 另一个杀手是谁了 |
[09:46] | Spoiler alert: | 温馨提示 |
[09:49] | it’s one of your sisters. | 那人就在姐妹会里 |
[10:04] | Oh, you were right, Grace. | 你是对的 格蕾丝 |
[10:06] | You were right all along. | 你一直都是对的 |
[10:08] | It was the other baby in the bathtub. | 那人就是浴缸里的另一个婴儿 |
[10:11] | Boone’s twin sister. | 布恩的双胞胎姐妹 |
[10:16] | Well, tell me. Who is it? | 告诉我 是谁 |
[10:18] | Sit down. | 坐吧 |
[10:20] | Come on. Just sit down. | 来嘛 坐下就好 |
[10:28] | I mean, I really should have known. | 我应该早就知道的 |
[10:30] | It wasn’t that hard to find out. | 毕竟要查出来并不难 |
[10:31] | I just had to collect DNA samples | 我只是把卡帕公馆里 |
[10:34] | from all the Kappas. | 所有人的DNA样本搜集起来 |
[11:00] | No! I don’t want to speak to your supervisor! | 不 我不想和你的上司说 |
[11:02] | I want to speak to the president of Tinder! | 我要和陌陌的老板说 |
[11:05] | Your app is broken! | 你们的软件有问题 |
[11:07] | I’ve gotten zero swipes on my profile! | 都没人对我感兴趣 |
[11:17] | Who is the killer? | 谁是杀手 |
[11:18] | Who is the other baby in the bathtub? | 谁是浴缸里的另一个婴儿 |
[11:21] | You’re not gonna believe it. | 你不会相信的 |
[11:24] | The other baby in the bathtub… | 浴缸里的另一个婴儿是… |
[11:28] | Run. | 快跑 |
[12:08] | There she is! | 她就在那儿 |
[12:14] | I know what you’re thinking. | 我知道你在想什么 |
[12:16] | Why is Chanel, the goddess of fashion | 为什么我香奈儿 堂堂时尚女神 |
[12:18] | and telling it like it is, being tormented by fatties | 虽然我不想承认 但我的确在被发型如狗屎 |
[12:21] | with bad haircuts and horrible shoes? | 鞋子似垃圾的死胖子们挖苦着呢 |
[12:23] | What was the outrage that was so enormous | 到底是何等极致的愤怒 |
[12:25] | it brought students back to campus | 让学生们回到校园 |
[12:27] | despite the fact that a serial killer is still on the loose? | 全然不顾杀人犯仍逍遥法外这个事实 |
[12:30] | If you believe it, it’s all because | 如果你信我的话 那是因为 |
[12:32] | I chose to pen the missive to end all missives. | 我选择写一封信来终结一切 |
[12:37] | Attention all useless Kappa sluts. | 一无是处的卡帕婊们请注意 |
[12:39] | Congratulations. If you’re reading this… | 恭喜你们 如果你正在阅读此信… |
[12:41] | …it means you’ve overcome the limitations | 就表明你已克服你那小小的海牛脑 |
[12:43] | of your tiny manatee brains and opened an e-mail. | 带来的智力障碍 并成功开启了一封电邮 |
[12:47] | Now, if you’re asking yourself… | 此刻 如果你在问自己… |
[12:49] | “Derr, wait, I’m confused. Is Chanel talking to me? | “等等我糊涂了 香奈儿是说给我听的吗 |
[12:51] | Am I a useless Kappa slut? | 我是一无是处的卡帕婊吗 |
[12:53] | simply ask yourself the following question aloud…” | 那你只需大声问自己以下问题” |
[12:55] | “Is my name Chanel #3, Chanel #5, | “我叫香奈儿三号 香奈儿五号 |
[12:58] | Chanel #6 or Zayday Williams?” | 香奈儿六号 或者扎丹·威廉姆斯吗” |
[13:00] | Because if the answer to that is yes, | 因为如果你的答案是”是”的话 |
[13:02] | then felicitations, this missive is for you. | 那祝贺你 这信是给你的 |
[13:05] | So, do you all remember when we agreed | 那么 你们还记得当时我们 |
[13:07] | to meet at the campus pool and kill the dean, | 一致同意去学校游泳池杀教务长 |
[13:09] | and I got you all awesome new phones, | 我还给你们每人一台超赞的新手机 |
[13:11] | so that when it came time to meet, | 以便集合时间一到 |
[13:13] | the phone would light up a certain color, and when it did, | 那手机就会亮起特定的颜色 而当手机亮时 |
[13:15] | you didn’t even have to answer it, | 你们甚至无需回复 |
[13:17] | you just had to come meet at the aforementioned pool? | 直接跑到前文提到的游泳池集合就行 |
[13:20] | And then do you remember not coming to the pool, | 你们还记得 后来你们没来泳池吗 |
[13:23] | despite me making it super easy for you | 这件事情简单无比 |
[13:25] | by concocting a plan so simple | 因为我的计划简单到 |
[13:27] | that an orangutan could have figured it out? | 就连一只猩猩都能搞定 |
[13:29] | Like, literally, a circus ape of moderate intelligence | 说真的 就连马戏团里智商感人的猴子 |
[13:32] | could have looked down at the phone | 也会低头去瞅一眼 |
[13:33] | sticking out of the single pocket | 它滑稽的小皮裤兜前 |
[13:35] | in the front of his comical lederhosen | 露出半截儿的小手机 |
[13:37] | and seen it light up and used his short little legs | 一旦看到我发来了信号 |
[13:39] | to waddle over to his tiny, motorized Shriner’s car | 就晃着它的小短腿儿 坐上它的小摩托 |
[13:42] | and driven to the pool like I asked. | 按照我的指令 乖乖赶来游泳池 |
[13:44] | Do you remember any aspect of this super simple plan? | 你们到底还记不记得这个超简单的计划 |
[13:48] | That’s not a rhetorical question. | 这可不是个反问句 |
[13:49] | I’m literally asking if your tiny slut brains | 老娘是真的在问 你们几个小荡货 |
[13:53] | have the power to process any of my super simple | 到底有没有足够的智商完成我发出的这些 |
[13:55] | orangutan-level instructions. | 连猩猩都能完成的指令 |
[13:57] | Because what I remember is that none of you showed up, | 因为我记得 你们谁都没有去泳池 |
[14:00] | which meant I had to sit at that stupid pool by myself, | 老娘只好一个人傻兮兮地坐在泳池边 |
[14:04] | like a grade-A ass-hat, | 就像个蠢婆娘 |
[14:05] | with a bag full of enormous chains | 还拖了一大袋巨沉的铁链 |
[14:07] | to drown Dean Munsch with and then have | 本来想把蒙什教务长溺死的 |
[14:09] | a super-awkward convo with her where I was like, | 却和她来了场超尴尬的面对面谈话 |
[14:11] | “Oh, derr, I just like bringing enormous chains to pools,” | “看 我带了一堆大铁链到泳池来呢” |
[14:14] | and I looked like a total div. | 老娘当时就像个傻逼 |
[14:16] | I don’t entirely know what you whores could have been doing | 我根本不懂你们几个贱货有什么事 |
[14:18] | that was more important than helping your chapter president | 能比帮助你们亲爱的会长 |
[14:21] | drown a serial killer, but unless that thing | 溺死连环杀手更重要 除非你们说 |
[14:23] | you were doing was getting enemas of pure liquid gold | 你们在当地一家新开的 |
[14:26] | at a new local establishment called | 名叫”嫩婊金水洗肠中心”的地方 |
[14:28] | Liquid Gold Colonics for Young Sluts, | 享受至尊纯金水灌肠服务 |
[14:30] | like if you were doing literally anything else, | 如果除此之外 你们什么都没干 |
[14:33] | you all should seriously consider | 那你们几个贱货真的应该 |
[14:34] | doing the human race a favor and getting sterilized. | 为了人类的美好明天去绝育 |
[14:37] | I’m not being facetious. | 我没开玩笑 |
[14:38] | I literally think you should consider undergoing | 我真心地认为你们应该考虑 |
[14:40] | a surgical procedure to remove your ovaries, | 去做个卵巢摘除手术 |
[14:42] | thereby sparing human race exposure to your DNA. | 好让全人类免遭你们烂婊基因的污染 |
[14:45] | You four trollops are the worst specimens of human beings | 你们四个小荡妇真是人类有史以来 |
[14:48] | ever born, and you all should really watch your backs, | 最恶心的存在 你们真的得小心了 |
[14:51] | because if this serial killer targeting Kappa House | 如果这个一心想对付卡帕公馆的连环杀手 |
[14:53] | doesn’t chop off your heads, I’m going to do it! | 没把你们几个的头砍下来 那老娘来 |
[14:56] | So I can sell your tiny whore brainpans to Science. | 然后再把你们的贱头盖骨卖给科学家 |
[14:59] | Sincerely, Chanel Oberlin. | 香奈儿·奥伯林 敬上 |
[15:04] | So, the next day, I went to get | 然后 第二天 |
[15:05] | an extra-hot pumpkin spice latte… | 我去买了杯超热南瓜拿铁… |
[15:07] | And more news coming from Wallace University, | 华莱士大学又传来了新闻 |
[15:09] | where an alleged serial killer continues to stalk the campus. | 其校园里所谓的连环杀手仍逍遥法外 |
[15:12] | And that’s when it happened. | 然后悲剧就从此上演 |
[15:14] | after an insane sorority rant | 在听了KKT姐妹会会长 |
[15:15] | 姐妹会暴走式咆哮 香奈儿·奥伯林 穿着高定连衣裙的魔鬼 | |
[15:16] | from Kappa Kappa Tau president, Chanel Oberlin, | 香奈儿·奥伯林女士一顿暴走式咆哮后 |
[15:19] | students have returned… | 学生们回到… |
[15:20] | Is President Obama a total div? | 奥巴马总统真的是个大傻逼吗 |
[15:22] | Chanel Oberlin’s malicious… | 香奈儿·奥伯林女士的恶意发言… |
[15:24] | The new face of hate, Chanel Oberlin… | 新一代众矢之的 香奈儿·奥伯林… |
[15:25] | On liquid gold colonics… | 金水灌肠… |
[15:27] | No, no, no, no, no, no. | 不 不 不 |
[15:27] | Chanel Oberlin is being labeled Worst Person Alive. | 香奈儿·奥伯林被称为”世上最坏的人” |
[15:32] | How did this happen? | 怎么会这样 |
[15:41] | 卡婊卡婊母牛 滚回地狱 | |
[15:42] | I mean, I’m all for public shaming. | 我完全赞成公开羞辱这种行为 |
[15:44] | I practically invented it. | 因为公开羞辱就是我发明的 |
[15:46] | It’s the sign of a healthy culture. | 这标志着健康文化的兴起 |
[15:47] | But not when I’m the one getting shamed. | 但被羞辱的是我时 这就不同了 |
[15:51] | I wanted to be famous, but not like this. | 我想出名 但也不是这样出名啊 |
[15:54] | Chanel! Chanel! What does it feel like | 香奈儿 成为全美的众矢之的 |
[15:56] | to be the most hated woman in America? | 是种什么样的体验呢 |
[15:58] | What about an apology, Chanel? | 你会为此道歉吗 香奈儿 |
[15:59] | Ms. Oberlin, any comment at this time? | 奥伯林女士 你想发表一下评论吗 |
[16:06] | Yes. | 有 |
[16:07] | I would like to comment. | 我愿意发表评论 |
[16:10] | To all the so-called mainstream media, | 对所有所谓的主流媒体 |
[16:14] | including weird web sites that nobody has heard of | 包括那些没人听过 却把我的名字当做噱头 |
[16:16] | who have used my name as click-bait, | 来增加点击量的小网站 |
[16:19] | and to all the relentless unwashed hordes on Twitter, | 以及推特上那些不放过任何一丝机会 |
[16:23] | who have taken every opportunity | 不依不饶地对本人发起 |
[16:25] | to mock and attack me mercilessly | 无情的嘲笑和攻击的 |
[16:27] | from the safety of their stained futons, | 冷血的贫贱网民们 |
[16:31] | I offer the following heartfelt sentiment. | 我将发表以下肺腑真言 |
[16:36] | You can all suck it! | 你们都去吃屎吧 |
[16:43] | Despite my outward bravado, I was dead inside. | 尽管我外表依然高贵冷艳 内心却已如死灰 |
[16:47] | In my heart, | 在我心中 |
[16:48] | I knew my glamorous reign of terror was over. | 我意识到自己辉煌的恐怖统治已经结束了 |
[16:50] | It was going to be difficult, but I knew what I had to do. | 虽然这很惨 但我明白自己该干什么 |
[16:56] | I have to kill myself. | 我应该自杀 |
[17:11] | Leave me alone. | 别来烦我 |
[17:14] | Chanel… | 香奈儿… |
[17:16] | Are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
[17:17] | I said get out, please! | 我让你出去 |
[17:20] | I’m trying to kill myself. | 我正在自杀 |
[17:21] | What?! How? | 什么 怎么自杀 |
[17:23] | Duh, with an asp. | 用毒蛇 |
[17:24] | Like a snake? | 你是说蛇吗 |
[17:26] | Yes. I ordered an asp online | 是的 我网购了一条毒蛇 |
[17:28] | so I could kill myself like Cleopatra, | 想要像埃及艳后那样自杀 |
[17:31] | and now I’m just waiting for it to sense my body heat | 现在我正等着蛇感受到我的体温 |
[17:33] | and come out and bite me so this will all be over. | 出来咬我 结束这一切 |
[17:35] | Chanel, no, that’s insane. | 香奈儿 不行 这太疯狂了 |
[17:37] | Is it? | 真的吗 |
[17:38] | Is it insane? | 很疯狂吗 |
[17:40] | My life is over. | 我的生活被毁了 |
[17:42] | There was nothing left to do but go on AliExpress | 我什么都做不了 只能上淘宝 |
[17:45] | and order a venomous snake for same-day delivery | 淘一只当日到货的毒蛇 |
[17:46] | and just… end it all. | 然后结束这一切 |
[17:48] | Hold on. | 等会儿 |
[17:54] | Chanel, | 香奈儿 |
[17:55] | this isn’t an asp. | 这不是毒蛇 |
[17:56] | It’s a garter snake. | 这是花纹蛇 |
[17:58] | No, it isn’t. Look at its markings. | 不可能 看看它的花纹 |
[18:00] | What markings? This is a sweater. | 什么花纹 这是毛线织出来的 |
[18:07] | I can’t even kill myself right. | 我连自杀都做不好 |
[18:10] | Chanel, | 香奈儿 |
[18:12] | look at me. | 看着我 |
[18:15] | I understand that what you’re going through is really intense. | 我明白你正遭受着巨大的痛苦 |
[18:17] | And I know you and I haven’t really always seen eye to eye, | 我知道咱们总是看对方不顺眼 |
[18:21] | and you say crazy-mean stuff to me all the time, | 而且你总是对我说些很讨厌的话 |
[18:23] | and I have a real problem with your casual racism, | 我还很不喜欢你随性的种族主义 |
[18:25] | which is something we need to work on, | 咱们以后得好好谈谈这事 |
[18:27] | but, girl, I promise I got your back. | 但是姑娘 我发誓我会支持你的 |
[18:31] | Really? | 真的吗 |
[18:32] | Yes. | 真的 |
[18:33] | And I know you can’t see it now, | 我知道你现在感觉不到 |
[18:35] | but things are gonna get better. | 但是事情会变得更好的 |
[18:36] | You’re young, smart and beautiful, | 你年轻聪明美貌 |
[18:39] | and you got a lot of living ahead of you. | 有大好前程 |
[18:40] | So don’t talk about killing yourself, okay? | 别再说自杀的事了 好吗 |
[18:44] | That’s not even something you should joke about. | 这种事根本不应该拿来开玩笑 |
[18:46] | Come here. | 过来 |
[18:48] | Maybe this is one of those teachable moments, you know? | 这也许就是你人生中具有教育意义的那些时刻 |
[18:51] | Like my grandmama says. | 就像我奶奶说过的 |
[18:54] | Maybe this is where you learn the lesson that… | 你应该从中认识到 |
[18:56] | words really mean something and they can hurt people, | 唇枪舌剑 言语无情 |
[19:00] | so you just can’t always | 所以你不能总是 |
[19:02] | say the first horrible thing | 把你脑海里首先跳出来的 |
[19:04] | that pops into your head all the time. | 难听的话说出来 |
[19:05] | That’s gonna be so hard. | 可是好难啊 |
[19:07] | I know. | 我知道 |
[19:10] | Why are you being so nice to me? | 你为什么对我这么好 |
[19:12] | Because we have a real opportunity here. | 因为我们现在有个好机会 |
[19:15] | I mean, I think it’s safe to say that you and this house | 我想大家都知道 你和卡帕公馆 |
[19:19] | have hit rock bottom. | 都已经跌到了谷底 |
[19:21] | And when things can’t seem to get any worse, | 反正事情也不会变得更糟了 |
[19:24] | that’s when they start to get better. | 以后只会越来越好的 |
[19:26] | We’re co-presidents, remember? | 我们是联名会长 还记得吗 |
[19:27] | That means this is the moment where you and I join forces | 所以说我们现在该联合起来 |
[19:30] | to catch this killer and rebuild Kappa Kappa Tau | 抓住凶手 重建卡帕姐妹会 |
[19:33] | into being something everybody can be proud of. | 让大家为成为会员而自豪 |
[19:36] | And we’re gonna do it together. | 我们要一起努力 |
[19:39] | Fine. | 好吧 |
[19:40] | I’m in. | 我加入 |
[19:42] | Whatever it takes. | 豁出去了 |
[19:53] | Well, that’s just great. | 这下好了 |
[19:59] | What’s wrong with him? | 他有病吧 |
[20:12] | I didn’t want to do it! | 我不想的 |
[20:14] | He’s trying to say something! Rip off his mask! | 他想说话 把他的面具拿下来 |
[20:18] | Please! | 求你了 |
[20:19] | She made me do it! | 是她逼我这么做的 |
[20:20] | Who?! Who made you do it?! | 谁 是谁逼你的 |
[20:21] | Have you seen this guy before? | 你以前见过这个人吗 |
[20:22] | No! | 没见过 |
[20:24] | He smells like a Pizza Parlor. | 他身上一股披萨味 |
[20:27] | Get me out of this suit! | 把这衣服给我脱下来 |
[20:30] | Bitches, gather round. | 嫩婊们 集合了 |
[20:32] | – What the hell is going on? – Who is that guy? | -发生什么事了 -这人是谁 |
[20:34] | We have no idea. We’ve never seen him before. | 我们也不知道 我们没见过他 |
[20:36] | Yeah. It was so weird. | 是啊 好奇怪 |
[20:37] | As soon as Zayday and I joined forces, | 我和扎丹一决定联手 |
[20:39] | he just fell into our lap. | 他就自投罗网了 |
[20:40] | Guys, something really weird happened, and I’m so unsettled. | 姑娘们 出了件怪事 我好不安 |
[20:44] | No one cares! We just caught the killer! | 没有人关心你的事情 我们刚刚抓住凶手 |
[20:46] | No, listen! I was getting my Fitbit steps in | 不 听着 我刚在跑步机上跑了一会儿 |
[20:48] | when this girl appeared out of nowhere | 这女孩儿就突然跑来 |
[20:49] | with a shawl covering her face. | 用头巾蒙着脸 |
[20:51] | Oh, great news. The Hag of Shady Lane has a sister. | 真是好消息 谢迪兰老女巫有个亲姐妹 |
[20:53] | No one cares. | 没人在乎 |
[20:54] | No, she had scars all over her face. | 不 她脸上满是疤痕 |
[20:56] | She probably had bad acne and wanted beauty tips from us. | 那可能是她痤疮长多了找我们要美容建议 |
[20:59] | It was terrifying. She was carrying a shovel! | 好可怕的 她还拿着个铁锹 |
[21:01] | There’s nothing terrifying about that. | 那有什么可怕的 |
[21:03] | She kept saying something, something “Dork.” | 她还一直说什么”蠢货”之类的话 |
[21:05] | Saying I’m-I’m a dork | 说我是蠢货 |
[21:07] | or something “Dork.” | 或者是”蠢死了”之类的 |
[21:08] | Number Six, hi. | 六号 注意 |
[21:10] | Everyone on campus but me is a dork! | 这个学校里除我之外都是蠢货 |
[21:12] | You’re always trying to pull focus! | 你总是抢我风头 |
[21:17] | Any last words? | 还有什么遗言吗 |
[21:23] | I’m gonna explode. | 我要爆炸了 |
[21:25] | What? | 什么 |
[21:26] | We should probably let him use the bathroom. | 我们也许该让他用下洗手间 |
[21:27] | No! I’m gonna explode! | 不 我是要爆炸了 |
[21:31] | I’m just a delivery guy! | 我只是个快递员 |
[21:34] | I delivered a pizza to this address | 我送了披萨到这里 |
[21:35] | – and someone answered the door in this costume! – Pizza! | -有个穿着戏装的人开了门 -披萨 |
[21:38] | Wait, there’s pizza? | 等等 有披萨吃吗 |
[21:40] | When I woke up, | 等我清醒过来之后 |
[21:41] | I was wrapped in dynamite! | 我身上就被装上了炸弹 |
[21:48] | My god, it’s a bomb. | 天啊 一个炸弹 |
[21:53] | She had a weird voice like a machine. | 她的声音很奇怪 机器人一样 |
[21:55] | She said she… the only way she wouldn’t kill me is | 她说想让她不杀我的唯一方法就是 |
[21:57] | if I came in here and I killed everyone. And if I didn’t, | 我来这里杀死所有人 如果我失败 |
[22:00] | she’d detonate the bomb! | 她就会引爆炸弹 |
[23:05] | I just don’t understand. | 我不明白 |
[23:07] | Like, one minute he’s here, | 前一分钟他还在那里 |
[23:09] | and then the next minute he just explodes! | 然后下一分钟他就爆炸了 |
[23:11] | I know. I also was there. | 我知道 我也在场 |
[23:13] | I mean, it’s just so messed up. | 这真是太操蛋了 |
[23:15] | Like, what are we supposed to do now? | 我们现在该怎么办啊 |
[23:17] | Yes, a totally innocent man who seemed super nice | 没错 一个无辜而且看上去挺友善的人 |
[23:20] | and probably did nothing wrong at all | 估计也没做过什么错事 |
[23:22] | just got blown up in our living room. | 刚刚就这么在我们的客厅里爆炸了 |
[23:24] | Bummer. Now, let’s honor his memory by moving on. | 真糟 那让我们用继续生活来纪念他吧 |
[23:30] | What’s wrong with her? | 她怎么了 |
[23:31] | Number Five is bumming me out by insisting that we relive | 五号拿一次又一次回想 |
[23:34] | the moment the pizza guy blew up over and over and over! | 那个送披萨的爆炸的场景烦我 |
[23:38] | Can you not make it about you for one second?! | 能消停一秒别把事情焦点都放在你身上吗 |
[23:41] | No, guys, I’m really freaked out! | 不 姐妹们 我真的吓死了 |
[23:42] | I feel like I’m having a panic attack! | 我觉得我的惊恐症要发作了 |
[23:44] | Get it together, Number Five! | 振作点 五号 |
[23:46] | Stop wallowing and | 别哭哭啼啼的 |
[23:47] | start concentrating on what’s really important here. | 把精力集中到真正重要的事情上 |
[23:51] | Restoring my reputation. | 也就是恢复我的名誉 |
[23:53] | Is that what’s really important? | 真正重要的就是这个吗 |
[23:54] | Listen, | 听着 |
[23:56] | ever since Zayday saved my life | 自从扎丹从我在网上买的冒牌 |
[23:58] | from the fake asp I ordered online, | ASP化妆品手里救了我的命之后 |
[24:00] | I’m a changed woman. | 我已经改头换面了 |
[24:02] | Like, I get now that other people have feelings, | 现在我知道其他人也是有感情的 |
[24:04] | and that words, they’re like weapons or something. | 还有语言它们是种武器什么的 |
[24:07] | So, I figured out a plan | 所以我想出了一个计划来重现 |
[24:09] | to restore Kappa House’s dignity, get back Chad Radwell, | 卡帕公馆的光辉 追回查德·雷德威尔 |
[24:12] | and put me back into the hearts | 让我重新夺回这个伟大国度的 |
[24:14] | of the citizens of this great nation. | 人民心中的重要地位 |
[24:16] | Wait, so the plan isn’t to catch the killer? | 等等 计划不是要抓凶手吗 |
[24:19] | No! We already know who the killer is! | 不 我们已经知道凶手是谁了 |
[24:21] | It’s Boone! If we don’t want him to kill us, | 是布恩 如果我们不想被他杀死 |
[24:23] | we just have to avoid places where gay people go. | 我们避开那些同性恋出没的地方就好 |
[24:26] | So, like, behind every Bennigan’s. | 比如说 所有本尼根酒吧的后巷 |
[24:28] | I love Bennigan’s. | 我喜欢本尼根酒吧 |
[24:30] | So what’s the plan? | 所以计划是什么 |
[24:32] | I need to go on an apology tour. | 我需要开启我的道歉行程 |
[24:34] | You know, like celebrities, | 你知道 就像那些明星们 |
[24:36] | when they say something offensive, | 他们说了什么冒犯别人的话之后 |
[24:37] | they just go on TV and apologize, | 就会上电视做出致歉 |
[24:39] | and everybody forgives them, | 然后大家就都原谅他们了 |
[24:39] | even though they don’t mean it at all. | 哪怕他们根本就不是真心抱歉 |
[24:42] | The first person I’m gonna apologize to… | 我第一个要道歉的人就是 |
[24:44] | Me. | 我 |
[24:45] | Melanie Dorkus. | 梅勒妮·多克斯 |
[24:47] | – What? – Yes. You heard what Number Six said. | -什么 -是的 你听见六号说的了 |
[24:49] | Clearly Melanie Dorkus is stalking the campus | 梅勒妮·多克斯蒙着脸 |
[24:51] | with a shovel in a veil, | 拿着铁锹在校园里乱晃 |
[24:52] | all pissed off because her face got burnt off, | 非常生气因为她的脸被毁了 |
[24:54] | and I want to let bygones be bygones. | 而我希望一切过去都事情都不再重提 |
[24:56] | But I thought that you said that you weren’t the person | 但我以为你说不是你 |
[24:57] | who put the acid in the spray tanner. | 把硫酸放进喷雾器里的 |
[24:59] | Well, I didn’t, but she thinks I did. | 没错 不是我 但她认为是我干的 |
[25:02] | So here’s the plan, we’re gonna go to her house, | 计划是这样 我们会去她家 |
[25:04] | I’m gonna fake apologize, you’ll record it, | 我会假装道歉 你负责录下来 |
[25:06] | we’ll post it online, and it’ll all be fine. | 然后发布到网上 一切都会变好了 |
[25:08] | Wait, we’re gonna what? | 什么 我们要干什么 |
[25:09] | Let’s go. | 我们走 |
[25:14] | Like, after Roger and Dodger, | 自从罗杰和多杰相继出事 |
[25:16] | like, I’ve suffered so much loss in my life. | 我真的是 人生遭受了太多重创 |
[25:17] | Let’s go. | 还是走吧 |
[25:19] | Why do you think the Devil let me live? | 你说红衣恶魔为什么不杀我 |
[25:22] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
[25:23] | But I still think we should call the police. | 但我还是认为我们应该报告警方 |
[25:27] | What will that do? | 这有什么用 |
[25:27] | I mean, all Denise is gonna do is arrest Zayday again. | 迪尼斯只会再把扎丹抓起来 |
[25:37] | You guys didn’t… | 你们有没有 |
[25:39] | What? | 什么 |
[25:43] | No. Dad. No, didn’t. | 不 爸 我们没有 |
[25:45] | Okay, I had to ask. | 好吧 我必须得问清楚 |
[25:49] | I was going to though, | 我们本来是要做的 |
[25:50] | – and it felt right and… – That’s nice. | -当时感觉很对 -不错 |
[25:53] | My God. I mean, can you imagine if I had? | 我的天 我要是真的做了该怎么办 |
[25:56] | I mean, what is so wrong with me, dad, | 爸 我到底是怎么了 |
[25:58] | that I totally misread him? | 居然完全错看了他 |
[26:02] | I think you saw what you wanted to see. | 我想你是只看你想看到的部分 |
[26:05] | And from the sounds of it, | 而且听起来 |
[26:08] | you know, at least he was coming from a-a loving and-and positive place. | 至少他从小的心态是乐观积极的 |
[26:12] | You can’t kill people from a loving and positive place. | 真是这样的话他就不会杀人了 |
[26:16] | Well, obviously, but… | 显然如此 但是 |
[26:18] | I just didn’t want this experience to stop you | 我只是不希望这次经历 |
[26:21] | from trusting your instincts. | 让你不再相信自己的直觉 |
[26:23] | Pete was a good guy. | 皮特是个好孩子 |
[26:25] | Solid, hardworking, handsome. | 可靠 刻苦 帅气 |
[26:28] | And, yes, I’m glad he wasn’t your first. | 虽然我还是庆幸你的第一次没有给他 |
[26:30] | But aside from the in-cahoots-with-killers thing, | 但是除了与杀手狼狈为奸这点之外 |
[26:34] | I think you made a good choice when you considered him. | 你选择他也是个不错的选择 |
[26:37] | Invasion of the dadbod snatchers. | 你是侵入了我爸爸大脑的外星人吧 |
[26:39] | Who are you? | 你把我爸爸怎么了 |
[26:43] | That’s a good question. | 真是个好问题 |
[26:45] | I’m a guy who’s learning to loosen the leash | 我是一个正学着放宽心胸 |
[26:47] | and trust his daughter. | 试着相信自己女儿的人 |
[26:51] | And if all of this has taught me anything, | 要说这一切教会了我什么 |
[26:55] | it’s that I can’t protect you from the world. | 那就是我无法避免你接触世界的丑恶 |
[27:00] | And that you’re pretty badass | 而且你在照顾自己方面 |
[27:01] | when it comes to taking care of yourself. | 也挺厉害的 |
[27:04] | Well… what I’ve learned is that I still need my dad. | 好吧 我学到的是我还是需要老爸的 |
[27:08] | Especially if I want to catch the killer. | 尤其是当我想抓住凶手的时候 |
[27:11] | Boone and Pete are dead, so there’s only one left. | 布恩和皮特死了 所以凶手只剩一人 |
[27:15] | The girl in the bathtub. | 浴缸中出生的那个女孩 |
[27:16] | Pete said it’s one of my sisters, | 皮特说她是姐妹中的一人 |
[27:18] | which means we narrowed it down to five. | 也就是说凶手就在剩下的五人之中 |
[27:20] | And, well, there’s only one way to figure out which one of them it is. | 而想要找出真凶只有一个办法 |
[27:23] | Lie detectors. | 测谎仪 |
[27:24] | – No, Dad… – Waterboarding. | -不 爸 -水刑 |
[27:26] | That’s illegal. | 那是违法的 |
[27:27] | If it’s good enough for the CIA, it’s good enough for me. | 中央情报局都能用 我也能接受 |
[27:30] | Okay, I have a better idea. | 好吧 我有个更好的主意 |
[27:31] | Why don’t we lock ourselves in here, and then we just wait | 不如我们把自己锁在家里 |
[27:35] | for the killer to kill the other four… | 等着杀手把其余四个人都干掉 |
[27:37] | Okay, Dad. | 好了 爸 |
[27:41] | I need to get as much information on all of them as possible. | 我需要关于他们能找到的一切信息 |
[27:45] | Okay. Um, how do we do that? | 好的 这个 怎么找 |
[27:49] | Dad… | 爸 |
[27:51] | get ready to make the most important playlist of your life. | 准备好做你一生中最重要的播放列表 |
[27:58] | We’re gonna need you to take one for the team. | 为了集体利益你需要做出点牺牲 |
[28:40] | Hey, teach. | 老师你好 |
[28:43] | What’s going on? | 这是闹哪样 |
[28:45] | Well, I decided to stop denying what you and I both knew | 我决定不再否认你我初见时 |
[28:48] | the minute we laid eyes on each other. | 就已心知肚明之事 |
[28:51] | And once I did, something inside of me, | 承认之后 我内心深处 |
[28:53] | I don’t know, it just… just clicked. | 某个地方 醍醐灌顶恍然大悟 |
[28:56] | And I guess I just wanted to get a little crazy. | 我想我可能只是想来点刺激 |
[29:00] | So you just decided to break into my house in the middle of the day? | 所以你就这样大白天地闯入我家吗 |
[29:03] | I know. | 没错 |
[29:04] | I’ve been a very bad boy. | 我是个非常顽劣的坏小子 |
[29:08] | Maybe I should get sent to the Dean. | 也许我应该被罚去见教务长 |
[29:10] | Well… | 好吧 |
[29:14] | I’m sure… | 我确信 |
[29:16] | that that… | 这件事 |
[29:19] | can be arranged. | 能办到 |
[29:23] | Okay. | 好了 |
[29:25] | I’m just trying to figure out what your angle is. | 我只是想知道你想干什么 |
[29:27] | What are you trying to get out of this? | 你想从我这儿得到什么 |
[29:30] | I’m just trying to get… | 我只是想 |
[29:31] | I’m trying to get 45 minutes alone, | 我只是想要45分钟的自由时间 |
[29:33] | so I can go crazy on you. | 来和你共尽巫山云雨之事 |
[29:41] | Yeah, you feel that? | 感受到了么 |
[29:56] | Turn out the lights! | 把灯关了 |
[29:58] | I’m not turning these lights off. | 不能关 |
[30:01] | I don’t want to miss a thing. | 我什么都不想错过 |
[30:06] | I’m sorry, who are you? | 抱歉 你哪位 |
[30:08] | I’m Chanel Oberlin. | 我是香奈儿·奥伯林 |
[30:09] | These are my minions. | 这几个是我的跟班 |
[30:11] | We’re here to see Melanie Dorkus. | 我们来找梅勒妮·多克斯 |
[30:12] | But Ms. Dorkus does not allow visitors. | 但多克斯女士不见访客 |
[30:15] | Due to the nature of her deformities, | 鉴于容貌受损 |
[30:17] | she has remained in solitude | 她坚持独处 |
[30:19] | since her release from the hospital. | 从医院回来起一直如此 |
[30:21] | I’m sorry, but there must be some mistake. | 不好意思 肯定是搞错了 |
[30:23] | I spoke with Melanie this morning, | 我今早跟梅勒妮通过话 |
[30:24] | and she sounded very excited to see us. | 要见我们 她表示非常激动 |
[30:27] | What’s that smell? | 什么味道 |
[30:28] | Those are the hounds. | 是猎犬 |
[30:32] | Apart from myself, | 除我之外 |
[30:33] | Ms. Dorkus’ only companions are the large, angry mastiffs | 多克斯女士终日与凶猛的大型獒犬相伴 |
[30:36] | that patrol the corridors. | 它们负责巡逻走廊 |
[30:39] | If you’ll wait in here, I’ll let Ms. Dorkus know you’re here. | 请稍等 我去告知多克斯女士你们到了 |
[30:53] | Where is Number Six? | 六号到哪去了 |
[30:54] | She said that she’d meet us here. | 她说她来这跟我们会合 |
[30:55] | That’s weird. She said she was coming. | 奇怪 她说她马上来 |
[31:44] | What exactly are we looking for? | 我们要找什么 |
[31:46] | We need to see files on all the Chanels. | 我们要看所有香奈儿的资料 |
[31:47] | See if there’s anything in there | 看看有没有什么 |
[31:48] | that eliminates them as suspects. | 能排除她们的嫌疑 |
[31:50] | How do you know I’m not the killer? | 你怎么知道我不是凶手 |
[31:52] | I just know. | 我就是知道 |
[31:54] | How do you know I’m not? | 你怎么知道我不是 |
[31:57] | Just know, too. | 我也就是知道 |
[31:59] | Okay, first, we need to check all of their transcripts, | 好 首先我们要查她们所有人的成绩单 |
[32:02] | see if any of them have taken any suspicious courses. | 看看她们有没有选可疑的课程 |
[32:04] | Okay, like this, see? | 好 像这个 看见没 |
[32:05] | 结构基础 本土性恐怖主义 大体解剖学 评定 无法在解剖过程中保证不昏倒 | |
[32:06] | She took an engineering course | 她上了一门工科课程 |
[32:07] | and a course on domestic terrorism, | 和一门本土性恐怖主义 |
[32:09] | so she may have learned how to make the Mr. Pizza Guy bomb. | 所以她可能学过如何把披萨小哥制成炸弹 |
[32:15] | Okay, we just need to pretend like we can’t hear anything. | 我们假装听不到就好 |
[32:18] | Look, it said she failed gross anatomy | 看 她大体解剖学挂了 |
[32:20] | because she couldn’t dissect a pig. | 因为她做不到解剖一头猪 |
[32:22] | No way she could chainsaw a guy’s arms off | 如果一头死猪都不敢切 |
[32:24] | if she can’t cut open a dead pig. | 那她肯定不可能去锯断活人的胳膊 |
[32:28] | Wait. She also took a class in sewing. | 等等 她还上了缝纫课 |
[32:31] | There’s a college course on sewing? | 大学还有缝纫课吗 |
[32:33] | Do you remember in the Red Devil’s lair, | 你记不记得在红衣恶魔的老巢 |
[32:34] | there was all that stuff to make the costumes? | 那有很多用来做那些衣服的东西 |
[32:38] | My God. | 我的天 |
[32:38] | And another on human anatomy, | 还有人体解剖学 |
[32:41] | which she would need to cut Gigi’s head off. | 她上这课是为了把琪琪的头切下来 |
[32:45] | Take a look at the rest of the files. | 继续看完资料 |
[32:46] | See if there’s anything about the family. | 看看有没有写她的家庭情况 |
[32:49] | You mean like the fact that her Social Security number | 你是指她的社保号码填的就是 |
[32:51] | is 123-45-6789? | 123456789这种事吗 |
[32:54] | And her home address is Sesame Street? | 她家庭住址是芝麻街 |
[32:56] | Look at her high school transcript. | 看高中成绩单 |
[32:58] | It said she graduated from Sweet Valley High? | 上面写她毕业于甜蜜高谷 |
[33:00] | This whole file is made up. | 这份资料全是编的 |
[33:04] | So that’s her. | 那就是她了 |
[33:07] | She’s the baby in the bathtub. | 她就是那个浴缸里的婴儿 |
[33:10] | The last Red Devil Killer. | 最后一个红衣恶魔杀手 |
[33:15] | Where are the Chanels right now? | 香奈儿们现在在哪 |
[33:23] | I have to go right now. | 我现在得走了 |
[33:24] | What? | 什么 |
[33:25] | Somebody just swiped right on me on Tinder. | 有人刚在陌陌上右滑了我 |
[33:28] | Chanel, this has never happened. | 香奈儿 这还从来没发生过 |
[33:31] | Ms. Dorkus will see you now. | 多克斯女士现在可以见你了 |
[33:33] | I called the company because I thought the app was broken. | 我还给公司打电话因为我以为是软件故障 |
[33:36] | I have to go meet this guy. | 我必须去见这个人 |
[33:37] | You should go. | 你去吧 |
[33:39] | Chanel. | 香奈儿 |
[33:40] | Any guy swiping right on you is a miracle. | 右滑你的人都是奇迹 |
[33:44] | So, go. Go meet this blind man. | 所以去吧 去见这个瞎了眼的男人 |
[33:46] | And when I’m done apologizing to Melanie, | 我给梅勒妮道完歉之后 |
[33:48] | I’m gonna call Pope Francis because… | 我要打电话给教皇弗朗西斯 |
[33:51] | we now have proof of God’s existence in this universe. | 因为我们证明了上帝是存在的 |
[34:14] | You want a drag? | 抽一口吗 |
[34:15] | No, I’m good. | 不用了 |
[34:20] | So I don’t… I don’t exactly know how to say this. | 我不…我不知道要怎么跟你说 |
[34:24] | Let me say it for you. | 我帮你说吧 |
[34:25] | “Dean Munsch, I really respect you, but I only did this | “蒙什教务长 我很尊重你 |
[34:29] | to find out some piece of information about the murders, | 但我只是为了搜集关于谋杀的信息 |
[34:32] | and now I don’t think we should take it any further.” | 现在我觉得我们就不要再往下发展了” |
[34:34] | That’s not what I was gonna say. | 这不是我想说的 |
[34:38] | Cathy… | 凯茜 |
[34:41] | that was the best sex of my life. | 这是我这辈子最好的性爱经历 |
[34:43] | I’m not joking. | 我没开玩笑 |
[34:46] | Well… | 好吧 |
[34:49] | seeing as you remained celibate for the full 18 years, | 鉴于这是你禁欲整整十八年以后 |
[34:53] | and then decided to re-pop your cherry | 终于决定重新破处 |
[34:54] | with the most mentally ill woman on campus, | 还是跟学校里精神最不正常的女人 |
[34:57] | I’m gonna take that with a grain of salt. | 我对此持怀疑态度 |
[34:59] | I think you’re just relieved to find out | 我觉得你只是开心的发现 |
[35:02] | that intercourse doesn’t have to be followed | 性交并不一定紧跟着 |
[35:04] | by hours and hours of crying | 没完没了地哭 |
[35:06] | and a weird purchase of an engagement ring. | 和莫名其妙的订婚戒指 |
[35:08] | Listen to me. Listen to me. Hold on. | 听我说 听我说 等等 |
[35:11] | Cathy, I’m serious. | 凯茜 我是认真的 |
[35:13] | Look, I never knew sex could be like that. | 我从来不知道做爱有那么爽 |
[35:16] | At first, I was like… I was like, | 一开始 我在想…我在想 |
[35:18] | “Wow, she’s being really loud. | “她叫声真大 |
[35:20] | Are the neighbors gonna call the police?” | 邻居们不会报警吧” |
[35:21] | And then I was like, “Wow, now I’m being really loud. | 后来我在想 “现在是我叫声大了 |
[35:25] | “Why am I screaming so much? | “我为什么在尖叫 |
[35:27] | They’re definitely gonna call the police.” | 他们这下肯定要报警了” |
[35:29] | And then I was just… stunned at how flexible you are. | 之后我被你的柔韧性折服了 |
[35:32] | I mean, I thought you had to be a gymnast | 我本以为把两只脚举到脑后 |
[35:34] | to get both feet behind your head. | 只有体操运动员能做到 |
[35:36] | Do you intend to come to a point? | 你能说重点吗 |
[35:37] | Yeah. Sorry. Look, | 好的 对不起 听着 |
[35:40] | when we first met, you came on really strong, | 我们第一次见面时 你来势汹汹 |
[35:43] | and I-I was a little turned off, I have to admit. | 我对你没什么兴趣 我得承认 |
[35:46] | But then I was like, “Damn, girl. | 但是之后我想”天哪 姑娘 |
[35:48] | “I mean, this-this… this chick… | “就是 这…这娘们… |
[35:50] | this chick must really be onto something.” | 这娘们一定没猜错” |
[35:53] | I mean, if that’s the way | 我是说 如果这就是 |
[35:55] | that our bodies talk to one another… | 我们的身体对话的方式 |
[35:57] | That is a gross way to put it. | 你的描述真让人受不了 |
[35:58] | I just think that maybe you and I were meant | 我只是觉得也许你我真的是注定 |
[36:01] | to be together after all. | 最终要在一起 |
[36:05] | I’m serious. | 我是认真的 |
[36:06] | I’m serious, Cathy. Listen to me. I like you. | 我认真的 凯茜 听着 我喜欢你 |
[36:10] | Like… like like you. | 是喜欢的那种喜欢 |
[36:13] | And, you know, if you are, uh… | 你知道 如果你 |
[36:16] | if you’re down, girl, | 如果你愿意 姑娘 |
[36:18] | to see if this relationship has legs… | 来尝试这段感情是否有戏… |
[36:21] | ‘Cause I know… | 因为我知道… |
[36:23] | I know you got legs, all right, you know. | 我知道你很有戏 好吧 你懂的 |
[36:25] | I mean, if you’re down, I’m… I’m all for it. I’m down. | 如果你愿意 我会全力以赴 我愿意 |
[36:46] | – There’s just one thing. – Oh, shoot. | -就有一件事 -说吧 |
[36:48] | Your daughter. | 你女儿 |
[36:50] | She’s gonna have to go. | 她必须走 |
[36:53] | – What? – I’m just being honest. | -什么 -我实话实说 |
[36:55] | I find her unbearably annoying, | 我觉得她太讨厌了 |
[36:57] | and the minute she gets wind of this, | 而且一旦她知道了这件事 |
[36:58] | she is gonna be whispering in your ear | 她一定会跟你嚼舌根 |
[37:01] | how I am no good for you. | 说我配不上你 |
[37:03] | So if you want this to happen, | 所以如果你想跟我在一起 |
[37:07] | we’re just gonna have to find a way | 我们必须找个办法 |
[37:09] | to give ourselves a little space, | 给我们一些私人空间 |
[37:12] | figure out a way to make Gracie | 找个办法让格蕾丝消失 |
[37:15] | go bye-bye for a little while. | 就一小会 |
[37:22] | Now… | 现在… |
[37:24] | I am gonna go freshen up | 我要去洗澡了 |
[37:27] | and then come back for round deux. | 然后回来准备第二轮 |
[37:47] | Get your phone out, Number Three. | 手机拿出来 三号 |
[37:48] | You’re recording this. | 你来录像 |
[37:51] | Melanie? | 梅勒妮 |
[37:53] | Hi! | 你好 |
[37:55] | It’s Chanel Oberlin. | 我是香奈儿·奥伯林 |
[37:57] | I know. | 我知道 |
[37:58] | I recognized the Island Splash scent | 我能闻出你用的岛国风情 |
[38:01] | of that douche you use. | 私密喷剂的味道 |
[38:10] | Oh my God, she looks like Jason Voorhees. | 天啊 她看上去像面具杰森魔 |
[38:12] | No. Jason was deformed since, like, birth. | 不 杰森的畸形是 天生的 |
[38:15] | She looks like Freddy Krueger. | 她像鬼王弗莱迪 |
[38:17] | No. Jason Voorhees. He’s all disfigured | 不 面具杰森魔 他是被 |
[38:19] | from that toxic waste that got splashed in his face. | 有毒废水溅到脸上毁容的 |
[38:21] | What movie are you even referring to? | 你说的是哪部电影 |
[38:22] | Jason Goes to Hell. | 《杰森下地狱》 |
[38:23] | That’s the only Friday the 13th movie you’ve seen? | 你只看过这一部黑色星期五的片子吗 |
[38:26] | I’m right here. | 我还在这儿呢 |
[38:28] | Hi. | 你好 |
[38:29] | I am so sorry. | 很抱歉 |
[38:30] | Melanie, you remember Chanel #3, | 梅勒妮 你知道香奈儿三号的 |
[38:32] | and how she’s a total div. | 她就是个傻瓜 |
[38:36] | I’m sorry I haven’t come by sooner. | 很抱歉我没有早点来 |
[38:38] | I didn’t realize you were in town. | 我不知道你回来了 |
[38:41] | I heard you were living in Alaska, | 我听说你之前住在阿拉斯加 |
[38:44] | where it’s night for half the year. | 那个地方半年都是黑天 |
[38:45] | I was, but my parents say living alone | 我是在那住过 但是我父母说一个人 |
[38:49] | in an arctic compound wasn’t healthy, | 住在北极圈区域不健康 |
[38:51] | so, six weeks ago, they moved me here. | 所以 六周前 他们把我搬到了这里 |
[38:56] | This is the estate | 这栋房子 |
[38:57] | that three generations of my family went insane in. | 是我家族三代人疯掉的地方 |
[39:01] | Well, you look great. | 你看起来气色不错 |
[39:03] | Don’t patronize me. I look like a monster. | 少揶揄我了 我看起来像个怪物 |
[39:06] | Toxic Avenger. That’s who I was thinking of. | 复仇毒魔 我想起的是这个角色 |
[39:10] | Well, have you thought of a little… plastic surgery? | 你想过 做整形手术吗 |
[39:13] | I’ve had nine surgeries already, you evil bitch! | 我做过九次手术了 你这恶毒的婊子 |
[39:16] | You did this to me! | 是你对我做的这一切 |
[39:17] | Now, Melanie, wait a minute. | 梅勒妮 等等 |
[39:19] | Start recording. | 开始录像 |
[39:20] | Melanie… | 梅勒妮 |
[39:25] | There’s something I want to say to you. | 我有话想对你说 |
[39:27] | And I think it’s gonna be hard for both of us. | 我觉得这对于我们双方来说都很艰难 |
[39:33] | Ms. Dorkus has visitors! | 多克斯小姐 有人来看你 |
[39:35] | You can’t go in there! | 你们不能进去 |
[39:36] | Melanie, I just want to say… | 梅勒妮 我只想对你说 |
[39:39] | …that I hope you rot in hell, bitch! | 我希望你烂在地狱里 贱人 |
[39:43] | What are you doing? I thought you came here to apologize. | 你在做什么 我以为你是来道歉的 |
[39:45] | Never! I apologize for nothing. | 绝不 我不为任何事情道歉 |
[39:47] | Melanie Dorkus is the killer! | 梅勒妮·多克斯就是凶手 |
[39:49] | – What?! – Oh, don’t look so surprised, Mask. | -什么 -不用装这么惊讶 面具人 |
[39:52] | All evidence points to you. | 所有的证据都指向你 |
[39:54] | You heard what Number Six said. | 你听见六号说的话了 |
[39:56] | She saw someone walking around campus, in a veil, | 她看见有人戴着面纱在校园里来回走 |
[39:58] | muttering, “Dork, Dork, Dork!” | 嘴里嘟囔着 多克 多克 多克 |
[40:00] | Dork as in Dorkus! | 就是多克斯的多克 |
[40:02] | So she suddenly can’t remember her own last name? | 所以她是突然忘记了自己的姓氏了吗 |
[40:04] | I called my travel agent, who called Alaska Charters LLC, | 我给我的旅行代理打了电话 他们又给 |
[40:08] | who confirmed that you, Melanie Dorkus, | 阿拉斯加游艇租赁有限公司打电话 |
[40:11] | took a seaplane back to campus | 确认了你 梅勒妮·多克斯是在 |
[40:12] | one week before the killings started. | 连环谋杀案发生一周前坐水上飞机返校的 |
[40:14] | So? | 所以呢 |
[40:15] | So, you’re obviously the killer! | 所以你显然就是凶手 |
[40:17] | You came back from your weird arctic compound | 你从你那古怪的北极圈回来 |
[40:19] | to get revenge on Kappa House because you’re hideous | 向卡帕公馆复仇 因为你丑陋不堪 |
[40:22] | and think that I put acid in your spray tanner | 还认为是我往你的喷雾罐里加了酸 |
[40:24] | when I didn’t! | 但我没有 |
[40:26] | I don’t know what you’re talking about! | 我不懂你在说什么 |
[40:27] | – I didn’t kill anybody! – Can it, Dorkus. | -我谁也没杀 -闭嘴 多克斯 |
[40:30] | I know it was you. | 我知道是你干的 |
[40:31] | Have fun in hell, bitch. | 祝你在地狱过得愉快 贱人 |
[40:33] | And FYI, this is probably gonna hurt a lot. | 我得告诉你 这可能会很痛 |
[40:36] | Wait! Chanel! Stop! Stop, stop, stop! She’s not the killer. | 等等香奈儿 住手住手 她不是凶手 |
[40:38] | What are you talking about? Of course she is! | 你说什么 她当然是了 |
[40:40] | No, she’s not. I swear. We have proof. | 不 我发誓她不是 我们有证据 |
[40:44] | It’s Hester. | 是海丝特 |
[40:45] | Hester is the Red Devil. | 海丝特是红衣恶魔 |
[40:52] | So sorry. | 实在抱歉了 |
[40:54] | Stop recording! | 快别录了 |
[40:56] | I knew that bitch was a nut burger the minute I met her. | 我一见那贱人就知道她是个麻烦货 |
[40:59] | It’s like, who wears a neck brace like that in 2015? | 都2015年了谁还戴项圈啊 |
[41:02] | You know, who are you? Forrest Gump? | 她谁啊 阿甘吗 |
[41:04] | That’s why you gave her a makeover | 所以你才给她改头换面 |
[41:05] | and made her one of your minions? | 让她当你的跟班吗 |
[41:07] | Have you not noticed the Chanels operate in a world | 你就没注意到香奈儿们是在不受文明法 |
[41:09] | that is outside the laws of man? | 约束的世界里行事的吗 |
[41:11] | She has to show back up here eventually. | 她最终还是要回到这里 |
[41:12] | We need to devise a trap. | 我们要布个陷阱 |
[41:14] | But remember, she’s armed and dangerous. | 但要记住 她持有武器 十分危险 |
[41:37] | Did you hear that? I think it came from Chanel’s closet. | 听见吗 好像是香奈儿的衣柜里传来的 |
[41:40] | Number Five, what are you doing here?! | 五号 你在这里干什么呢 |
[41:43] | Please tell me you did not bring your insane | 告诉我你没把你那疯癫 |
[41:44] | and obviously blind Tinder hookup back here. | 又明显瞎了眼的炮友带回来 |
[41:47] | I mean, the last thing I need to see right now | 我是说 我现在最不想看见的 |
[41:48] | is a guy running out of your room | 就是一个食指被咬断的男人 |
[41:49] | with his index finger bitten off. | 从你房间里跑出来 |
[41:51] | You know, ’cause your vagina has teeth. | 因为 你私处长着牙 |
[41:53] | No. It was a fake, and I should have known, | 不 那是个骗子 而且我该知道的 |
[41:55] | because his Tinder profile picture | 因为他在约炮软件上用的头像 |
[41:56] | is the guy from Nickelback cut out of a magazine. | 是从杂志上裁的五分钱乐队成员的照片 |
[41:58] | You’re saying you would have been okay | 你是说如果他真是五分钱乐队成员的话 |
[41:59] | if it was the guy from Nickelback? | 你就能接受了吗 |
[42:02] | He’s, like, 60. And Canadian. | 他好像有60岁了 还是加拿大人 |
[42:04] | I lost my virginity to a Nickelback song. | 我把我的贞操给了五分钱乐队的一首歌 |
[42:06] | Okay, can we please stop talking | 我们能别再谈香奈儿 |
[42:08] | about Chanel #5’s dating life and see who’s screaming? | 五号的约炮史 先去看是谁在尖叫吗 |
[42:10] | Come on. | 快来 |
[42:31] | My God. | 我的天哪 |
[42:35] | Is she dead? | 她死了吗 |
[42:36] | This is so horrible! | 这太可怕了 |
[42:37] | I know. That was such a fabulous pair of shoes. | 就是啊 那双鞋超赞的 |
[42:40] | I can’t feel a pulse. | 我摸不到脉搏了 |
[42:41] | This doesn’t make any sense. | 这说不通啊 |
[42:42] | Hester is the killer. | 海丝特是凶手 |
[42:44] | Pete’s dead, Boone’s dead. Who could have done this to her? | 皮特死了布恩死了 会是谁杀的她呢 |
[42:54] | Red… Devil! | 红衣恶魔 |