时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:08] | Welcome to this very special rush evening | 欢迎来到今晚独一无二的纳新活动 |
[00:11] | of the new and improved Kappa Kappa Tau. | 主办方是焕然一新的KKT姐妹会 |
[00:14] | I’m Zayday Williams, president, | 我是会长扎丹·威廉姆斯 |
[00:15] | and this is my vice president, Grace Gardner. | 这是副会长 格蕾丝·加德纳 |
[00:18] | We would also like to thank Dean Munsch | 我们还要感谢蒙什教务长 |
[00:20] | for allowing us to have a winter semester rush this year. | 允许我们今年举办冬季学期纳新 |
[00:23] | Well, now that the unfortunate | 现在 秋季学期的 |
[00:25] | events of the fall semester are behind us | 不幸事件终于结束 |
[00:28] | and the school is back open and extremely safe, | 学校重开 校园也极其安全 |
[00:31] | I thought, why not? | 我就想 何乐不为呢 |
[00:32] | Especially since the new Kappa seems to be aligned so clearly | 尤其新卡帕的会程与我和所有 |
[00:36] | with mine and the rest of the student body’s | 学生团体在政治政策正确性 |
[00:38] | almost militant commitment to political correctness | 和接纳不同或特殊观点的 |
[00:41] | and acceptance of different and unusual points of view. | 激进追求如此不约而同 |
[00:45] | As long as they’re always left-leaning. | 当然前提是左倾的观点 |
[00:47] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, | 现在 请允许我失陪 |
[00:49] | I’m gonna go disinvite Jerry Seinfeld | 我要去撤销杰里·宋飞 |
[00:51] | from speaking at commencement. | 毕业典礼讲话的邀请函 |
[00:54] | He told a joke about a woman once. | 他曾经拿女性开过玩笑 |
[00:55] | Allegedly. | 据说 |
[00:59] | We would also like to introduce you to our treasurer, | 我们还要荣幸地向大家介绍我们的财务 |
[01:01] | Hester Ulrich. | 海丝特·乌利希 |
[01:05] | Excuse me. Is it still true that you guys take | 请问 你们会接纳任何想加入的人 |
[01:07] | anyone who wants to pledge? | 这还是真的吗 |
[01:08] | It’s actually now written in the Kappa bylaws. | 现在这条规则已经被写进卡帕章程了 |
[01:11] | So today is going to be filled with us… | 今天我们将… |
[01:14] | Hi, it’s me, Hester. | 嗨 是我 海丝特 |
[01:15] | You may have noticed my eye patch. It’s temporary. | 你可能注意到我的眼罩了 只是暂时的 |
[01:17] | The advantage of stabbing yourself in the eye | 自己把高跟鞋跟戳进眼睛的 |
[01:19] | with a stiletto heel is that you know | 好处就是 |
[01:21] | just where to jab it in order to miss the important organs, | 你知道怎么戳才能避开那些重要器官 |
[01:23] | like your optic nerve or your brain. | 例如视觉神经和脑子 |
[01:25] | You might have noticed that I’m the only Chanel left. | 你可能已经注意到了我是唯一幸存的香奈儿 |
[01:28] | That’s because I got away with it. | 那是因为我成功洗白了 |
[01:30] | It was a plan 20 years in the making, | 这是个策划了20年的 |
[01:33] | and it worked. | 成功阴谋 |
[01:37] | You probably think that growing up | 你可能觉得在神经病院长大 |
[01:38] | in a mental institution would be fun. | 应该是件很有趣的事 |
[01:41] | Plenty of cigarettes and Monopoly. | 多得是香烟和大富翁 |
[01:46] | But it was hard at first. | 但一开始其实很不容易 |
[01:49] | Gigi was pretty bummed out | 琪琪一开始很难过 |
[01:50] | about her sister killing herself with laxatives, | 因为她姐服了过量泻药自杀 |
[01:52] | and she cried a lot. | 她老哭 |
[01:57] | For three years. | 哭了三年 |
[02:00] | But with the help of good doctors | 但通过神经病院优秀医生 |
[02:01] | and nurses at the asylum, | 和护士们的帮助 |
[02:03] | Gigi was able to turn her sadness into anger, | 琪琪最终终于成功把伤心转化为愤怒 |
[02:05] | and we started planning our revenge. | 然后我们开始策划复仇 |
[02:10] | Now, this is a hammer. | 这是个 锤子 |
[02:14] | Hammers are good for bashing people in the skull | 锤子可以轻易砸开人脑壳 |
[02:17] | and watching them bleed to death, okay? | 然后看着他们失血而死 |
[02:19] | Now, how about this? | 这个呢 |
[02:21] | – Knife! – Okay. | -刀 -不错 |
[02:23] | How about this one? | 这个呢 |
[02:25] | – Chain saw. – Great! | -电锯 -很好 |
[02:26] | Now, what are the advantages of using this? | 使用这个有哪些优点呢 |
[02:28] | Easily cuts through muscle and bone, | 可以轻易斩断肌肉和骨骼 |
[02:30] | and has the added advantage of making sure | 外加优点是可以保证 |
[02:32] | your victim’s final emotion is terror. | 受害者临终的情绪是极度惊恐 |
[02:34] | Suck ass! | 马屁精 |
[02:35] | That’s great, Hester. | 真棒 海丝特 |
[02:36] | Now, let’s maybe let Boone answer the next one. | 下一个让布恩回答怎么样 |
[02:39] | – But he’s a moron. – I know. | -但他是个白痴啊 -我知道 |
[02:42] | I know. | 我知道 |
[02:48] | We grew. Time passed. | 时光飞逝 我们长大了 |
[02:50] | It did get a little lonely there. | 这里的确有些孤单 |
[02:52] | Sometimes I made friends, | 有时候我交刚交了朋友 |
[02:53] | but then the next thing you know, | 紧接着 |
[02:55] | they’re getting a full frontal lobotomy. | 他们就动了摘除额叶脑叶手术 |
[03:03] | Gigi said that we would be headed to Wallace | 琪琪说我们要去华莱士大学 |
[03:04] | to finally put our plan into action, | 实施我们的计划了 |
[03:06] | so I needed a persona to hide behind | 所以我们杀人的时候 |
[03:09] | while we murdered people and stuff. | 我需要一个表面性格做掩饰 |
[03:10] | Boone decided that his would be to pretend to be gay, | 布恩决定他要假装是同性恋 |
[03:12] | which made, like, no sense, since all that would do | 但这根本行不通 因为在兄弟会里 |
[03:14] | is make him stand out amongst those frat dudes. | 那只会让他更显眼 |
[03:16] | But Boone was never one for really being smart. | 但布恩本来就不太聪明 |
[03:18] | As for me, what I’ve noticed | 而我呢 我注意到 |
[03:20] | is that the more weird and gross you are, | 你越是奇怪或恶心 |
[03:22] | the less people want to know about you. | 别人就越懒得搭理你 |
[03:24] | No one asks the kid with terrible acne | 从没人问过那个满脸青春痘的人 |
[03:26] | what their favourite movie is or where they were born. | 他们最爱的电影是哪部 或他们哪里出生的 |
[03:29] | Even though I only ate asylum food | 虽然我从小只吃过神经病院的食物 |
[03:30] | and never really exercised, | 也从不运动 |
[03:31] | I was blessed with a super tight bod. | 但我天生丽质身材紧致 |
[03:34] | My butt could launch a thousand ships, | 我的翘屁屁可以为千舰送航 |
[03:36] | and my boobs were remarkably perky and even. | 我的双峰对称又挺拔 |
[03:38] | Couple that with my BJ lips, | 再加上我的性感口交唇 |
[03:40] | and I was gonna need something pretty spectacular | 我需要找个超牛的伪装才能 |
[03:42] | to keep everyone from wanting to get all up in this. | 来防止大家注意到这些 |
[03:44] | Once I saw her, I knew | 直到我看见她 我就知道 |
[03:46] | I found my cloak of social invisibility. | 我找到我的社交隐身衣了 |
[04:04] | We needed a cool costume. | 我们需要一套酷炫的行头 |
[04:05] | All killers have a cool costume: | 所有的杀手都有一套酷炫的行头 |
[04:07] | Jason with his hockey mask, | 杰森的是曲棍球面具 |
[04:09] | Freddy Krueger’s sweater and hat, | 鬼王弗莱迪的是毛衣和帽子 |
[04:10] | Cujo’s totally realistic dog costume. | 狂犬库丘是一套超逼真的狗狗道具服 |
[04:17] | Hey, everyone! Come down to Jesse Helms Stadium tonight | 大家好 欢迎今晚到杰西·赫尔姆斯体育场 |
[04:20] | to cheer on our very own Wallace University | 支持我们华莱士大学自己的球队 |
[04:23] | Red Devils! | 红衣恶魔 |
[04:26] | Kickoff at 7:00 P.M.! | 晚上7点开球 |
[04:38] | Kind of ironic that our first victim | 有点讽刺 我们的第一个受害者 |
[04:40] | was actually the Red Devil, | 其实就是红衣恶魔 |
[04:42] | but when you want to make an omelet, right? | 但要成大事必须有所牺牲 不是吗 |
[04:48] | But the devil outfit was perfect. | 不过恶魔的装束十分完美 |
[04:50] | Unisex, kind of satanic | 男女皆宜 面目邪恶 |
[04:52] | but not, like, a giant goat head satanic. | 但并非那种大山羊头式的诡异 |
[04:54] | Red and black so it wouldn’t stain | 红加黑 这样不容易 |
[04:56] | when it was covered in blood. | 被血迹弄脏 |
[04:57] | And since it was the school mascot, | 而且因为是学校球队的吉祥物 |
[04:59] | we could walk around campus in it without being noticed. | 我们穿着它走在校园里也不会被注意 |
[05:01] | I think he’s dead. | 我觉得他死了 |
[05:03] | It was time to begin. | 是时候开始了 |
[05:04] | We broke into Kappa and we got busy. | 我们闯进了卡帕 开始行动 |
[05:10] | I don’t understand why we don’t just stab this Dorkus girl. | 我不懂为什么不直接捅死这个多克斯 |
[05:13] | Because this is more dramatic. | 因为这样更有戏剧性 |
[05:15] | I don’t know. | 真的吗 |
[05:15] | Stabbing can be pretty dramatic. | 捅死她也可以很戏剧性 |
[05:17] | No, this is more poetic. | 不 这样更有诗意 |
[05:19] | It hits these girls right in their vanity. | 直击这些女孩的虚荣心 |
[05:21] | Wait, we’re spraying acid on the furniture? | 等等 我们是在拿盐酸喷家具 |
[05:23] | How’s that gonna hurt them? | 这样怎么就伤害她们了 |
[05:24] | Just pour the acid in! | 倒你的盐酸就对了 |
[05:27] | Obvi, I was the brains of the operation. | 显然 我是行动的军事 |
[05:29] | Boone was the muscle, | 布恩是执行者 |
[05:30] | and Gigi was the weird and psycho beating black heart. | 而琪琪就是那颗鲜活的诡异而扭曲的黑心 |
[05:33] | We did have to get into college | 我们必须考入这所大学 |
[05:35] | before we could execute our plan. | 才能实行计划 |
[05:36] | Hard, since we never went to high school. | 这点很难 因为我们都没念过高中 |
[05:38] | Boone went undercover a year before I did. | 布恩比我早一年去当了卧底 |
[05:40] | He never actually enrolled in school. | 其实他没有在学校登记 |
[05:42] | Since none of those frat guys ever went to class, | 由于这些兄弟会的家伙从不去上课 |
[05:44] | it was easy to just show up there, | 所以他只需出现在那里 |
[05:46] | say he was a student, and blend right in. | 说他是这儿的学生 就能默默混进去 |
[05:48] | But I wanted to do it right. | 但我要名正言顺 |
[05:49] | Well, Hester, | 好吧 海丝特 |
[05:50] | your high school transcripts are clearly faked. | 你的高中成绩单显然是假的 |
[05:53] | And I’m guessing you made up your SAT scores, | 我猜你的高考成绩也是自己编的 |
[05:56] | ’cause it’s not possible to get one million percent on them. | 因为你不可能考一百万分 |
[05:59] | Now, that being said, | 不过话虽如此 |
[06:00] | we do have a new mandate here at Wallace University | 最近我们华莱士大学又有了新政策 |
[06:02] | for special needs diversity. | 关于学生多样性的特殊需求 |
[06:04] | And seeing as we have no students | 鉴于我们从未招收过 |
[06:06] | with severe spinal deformities, | 严重脊椎弯曲的学生 |
[06:08] | I… am gonna take a chance on you. | 我…决定给你个机会 |
[06:15] | Welcome to Wallace. | 欢迎来到华莱士 |
[06:16] | Thank you, Dean. | 谢谢你 教务长 |
[06:18] | You won’t regret it. | 你不会后悔的 |
[06:25] | Ooh, cool neck brace. | 好酷的颈托 |
[06:26] | You ever think about decorating it? | 你想过装饰它一下吗 |
[06:28] | I’ve got a Bedazzler back in my room. | 我房间里有个水晶钉扣器 |
[06:30] | What do you say we spice it up a bit? | 给它加点料如何 |
[06:32] | Um, no. | 不用了 |
[06:33] | But that sounds like a lot of fun. | 但是听上去挺好玩的 |
[06:35] | I hope you guys aren’t freaked out by my appearance | 希望你们别嫌弃我的外表 |
[06:36] | or lack of social skills and money. | 还有我没钱没情商 |
[06:38] | Hardly. We’re part of a new wave of Kappa Kappa Tau, | 不会的 我们都是KKT姐妹会的新人 |
[06:41] | one filled with true sisterhood and acceptance. | 这是一个真正充满姐妹情和认同感的地方 |
[06:43] | Zayday here is gonna be president of this place someday. | 扎丹有一天会当上这儿的会长 |
[06:46] | Come on. Let’s go mingle, babies. | 来吧 我们去找乐子吧 宝贝们 |
[06:48] | I’ll catch up. | 我待会就来 |
[06:49] | By the way, you guys seem really nice. | 对了 你们看起来人超好 |
[06:51] | I’ve always said that being nice is a really good quality. | 我常说善良是很好的品质 |
[06:54] | It could save your life one day. | 有一天它会救你们的命 |
[06:58] | Great. | 很好 |
[06:59] | And so it came to be | 于是就这样 |
[07:01] | that Hester Ulrich, daughter of Sophia Doyle, | 海丝特·乌利希 索菲娅·道尔的女儿 |
[07:03] | returned to Kappa House to get her revenge. | 回到卡帕公馆 准备报仇雪恨 |
[07:06] | And that was the night it all started. | 那晚就是一切的开端 |
[07:09] | And tonight, it all ends. | 而今晚 则是一切的结局 |
[07:10] | Order is restored, as they say. | 秩序已经恢复 正如她们所说 |
[07:12] | More than restored– reborn. | 不只是恢复…是重建 |
[07:14] | Now I have some true sisters, some real family. | 现在我拥有了真正的姐妹 真正的家庭 |
[07:17] | The only dad I ever had was the asylum. | 我唯一真正得到过父爱的地方是孤儿院 |
[07:19] | My only family were those nutburgers Gigi and Boone. | 唯一的家人是那两个白痴琪琪和布恩 |
[07:22] | But now I know who my real dad is | 而现在 我知道了我真正的父亲是谁 |
[07:24] | and my real half-sister, even if they don’t. | 还有我真正的姐妹 尽管他们并不知道 |
[07:26] | And the best part is | 而最妙的地方是 |
[07:27] | that that isn’t even the best part. | 这还不是最妙的地方 |
[07:29] | Well, that isn’t the best part either. | 好吧 这也不是最妙的地方 |
[07:31] | The best part is who isn’t up here with us. | 最妙的地方是那些没有出现的人 |
[07:34] | Yep. No Chanels. | 是的 没有香奈儿们了 |
[07:36] | I mean, someone had to take all the blame. | 我是说 这些黑锅总得有人背 |
[07:38] | Right? | 对吧 |
[07:48] | You’re probably thinking, | 你可能在想 |
[07:49] | what kind of person | 什么人 |
[07:50] | could drive a six-inch stiletto into her own eye socket? | 能把15厘米长的鞋跟扎进自己的眼窝 |
[07:53] | Hester, it’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna be okay. | 海丝特 你不会有事的 不会有事的 |
[07:54] | Can we save the shoe? | 鞋还有救吗 |
[07:55] | A person who did her homework, that’s who! | 那就是准备完备的人 |
[07:59] | First, I had to get an X-ray of my own skull. | 首先 我要给自己的头骨拍个X光 |
[08:03] | Then, I had to calculate the proper length of the heel, | 然后 我得计算鞋跟的长度 |
[08:06] | the angle of the insertion, | 插入的角度 |
[08:07] | with just the right amount of force | 用恰到好处的力 |
[08:09] | to slip behind the eyeball without damaging the socket. | 擦过眼球却不会伤到眼窝 |
[08:12] | Also, it helps to be completely frickin’ insane. | 如果你是个疯子的话也很有帮助 |
[08:18] | Because for a plan like this to work, | 因为要想完成这种计划 |
[08:20] | you have to be willing to totally commit. | 你得心甘情愿自残 |
[08:25] | I mean, desperate times call for desperate measures. | 特殊情况特殊对待 |
[08:28] | This was the price I had to pay | 如果我想洗清谋杀的嫌疑 |
[08:29] | if I wanted to get away with murder | 并把黑锅甩给别人 |
[08:30] | and pin it all on someone else. | 我就得付出这种代价 |
[08:36] | The Red Devil! | 红衣恶魔 |
[08:40] | Because some people don’t deserve to just get murdered. | 因为有些人连被杀都不配 |
[08:44] | They need to be truly punished. | 他们需要真正的惩罚 |
[08:45] | I didn’t do it, I swear! | 我发誓不是我干的 |
[08:47] | Oh, please, we all know the guy from Nickelback | 拜托 我们都知道那个五分钱乐队的人 |
[08:49] | did not, in fact, swipe right on your profile. | 其实没有喜欢你的资料 |
[08:51] | Uh, yes, he did, okay? | 他真的喜欢了 |
[08:53] | Nickelback is in town playing some kid’s bat mitzvah. | 五分钱乐队正在城里给某个孩子做成年礼呢 |
[08:55] | Please! It was clearly a ruse | 得了吧 这显然就是 |
[08:57] | so you could sneak back into the house and kill Number Six! | 你为了偷溜回公馆谋杀六号的诡计 |
[08:59] | I would never, Chanel! | 我怎么会杀人呢 香奈儿 |
[09:01] | I’m one of the good guys! | 我是好人 |
[09:03] | Look, I-I know, | 我知道 |
[09:04] | I know that I can be socially awkward | 我知道自己不善交际 |
[09:06] | and-and a little bit off-putting | 惹人厌烦 |
[09:08] | and that most people find it very difficult to be around me, | 很多人觉得和我交往很难 |
[09:10] | but you know me, Chanel. | 但你了解我 香奈儿 |
[09:13] | I’m not the killer. | 我不是杀手 |
[09:14] | Um, excuse me? | 你说什么 |
[09:16] | I think you’re a serial killer | 正因为我了解你 |
[09:17] | because I know you, Number Five! | 我才觉得你就是个连环杀手 五号 |
[09:19] | You bite your own toenails. | 你连自己的脚趾甲都啃 |
[09:20] | Okay, I am flexible. | 那是我柔韧性好 |
[09:22] | Why would I waste my money buying toenail clippers | 上帝已经赐给了我 |
[09:25] | when God already blessed me with toenail clippers | 能咬到脚趾甲的嘴 |
[09:27] | in the form of teeth in my mouth?! | 我干嘛还花钱买指甲钳 |
[09:29] | It’s awfully convenient that you’re the one who noticed | 而且你就是二号尸体失踪的发现人 |
[09:31] | Number Two’s body went missing. | 还真是巧呢 |
[09:33] | Maybe you knew it was gone | 也许你早就知道尸体不见了 |
[09:34] | ’cause you’d already taken it to the house on Shady Lane. | 因为你已经把尸体搬到谢迪兰老太婆的房子了 |
[09:36] | Look, we should all just stay up | 我们应该熬夜 |
[09:38] | and wait until Number Five gets tired and passes out. | 等五号累得昏过去 |
[09:41] | She confesses all sorts of crazy stuff in her sleep. | 她睡着之后什么实话都说 |
[09:43] | She and I were roommates | 来公馆的 |
[09:44] | the first year we lived in the house. | 第一年我们是室友 |
[09:46] | I unlocked the brakes on Grandma’s wheelchair | 我打开了奶奶轮椅的锁 |
[09:47] | so that she would slide down the driveway into the traffic. | 让她滑下人行道冲进车流 |
[09:50] | Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
[09:51] | Go to sleep! | 睡觉 |
[09:53] | When I fart, I cup it in my hand and smell it. | 放屁的时候我会用手捂住然后闻 |
[09:55] | Dear God, shut up! | 天哪 闭嘴吧 |
[09:58] | Wait a minute. Everybody, shut up! | 等等 你们都闭嘴 |
[10:01] | I know what happened. | 我知道怎么回事了 |
[10:02] | You killed Number Two | 你杀了二号 |
[10:03] | and confessed it in your sleep to Roger and Dodger | 还在你跟罗杰和多杰 |
[10:05] | after a hot night of letting them Eiffel Tower you. | 双飞之后告诉了他们 |
[10:08] | And once you knew that they both knew, | 你发现他们知道后 |
[10:11] | you realized you’d have to kill them! | 就意识到必须杀了他们 |
[10:14] | Oh, I see where this is going. | 我懂了 |
[10:16] | You’re gonna try and pin all of these murders on me | 你要把所有的谋杀都算到我头上 |
[10:17] | so I spend the rest of my life in prison. | 好让我下半辈子都在牢里过 |
[10:19] | Oh, no, my friend. | 不 我的朋友 |
[10:21] | You… are going to the electric chair. | 你会去坐电椅 |
[10:25] | No! | 不要 |
[10:27] | Do they still use those? | 现在还有电椅吗 |
[10:31] | Okay. | 好 |
[10:31] | Well, thank you for letting me know. | 谢谢你通知我 |
[10:35] | Well, well, well. | 哎呀呀 |
[10:37] | This just in. | 消息来了 |
[10:38] | Police Chief Denise Hemphill just got a call. | 警察局长迪尼斯·亨普希儿刚接了个电话 |
[10:41] | A decomposing male body was found | 有人发现了一个腹肌分明 |
[10:44] | with rippling abs and a possible gay face | 长得跟小基佬 |
[10:48] | that appears to be a match | 布恩·克莱门斯 |
[10:49] | for one Boone Clemens. | 一模一样的腐烂尸体 |
[10:53] | That’s right, y’all! | 没错 |
[10:54] | Hot damn, shazam! | 真是见鬼 |
[10:56] | Boone is dead. | 布恩死了 |
[10:58] | Excuse me for a second while I drop the mic. | 我说完了 别人也没啥好说了 |
[11:01] | We already knew Boone was dead. | 我们知道布恩死了 |
[11:02] | Pete admitted to killing him. | 皮特承认他杀了布恩 |
[11:04] | Okay, well, excuse me | 那还是让我 |
[11:06] | for trying to reiterate the facts | 重申一下 |
[11:08] | and get us all on the same page. | 同步一下我们已知的消息 |
[11:10] | I mean, after all, I am just the chief | 毕竟 我只是区区 |
[11:12] | of the whole damn police department. | 一介警察局长而已 |
[11:14] | Okay, look, this is all so insane. | 好吧 这些都太疯狂了 |
[11:16] | Look, we can all freely admit that Number Five is fairly odd, | 我们的确可以说五号是有些古怪 |
[11:19] | but she is not the killer. | 但是凶手不是她 |
[11:20] | The killer is Hester. | 海丝特才是凶手 |
[11:22] | Yes, and the proof is in her files. | 证据就在她的档案里 |
[11:28] | The only proof you need is this hole in my head. | 你们需要的唯一证据就是我脑袋上这个洞 |
[11:32] | Good news. | 好消息是 |
[11:33] | Chanel #5 didn’t insert the heel hard enough | 香奈儿五号用的力气不大 |
[11:35] | to pierce my orbital socket. | 没有刺穿我的眼窝 |
[11:37] | The doctors were able to save my eyeball, | 医生们保住了我的眼球 |
[11:38] | and they said that I’m gonna make a full recovery. | 他们说我将会痊愈 |
[11:40] | No, that can’t be true. | 不 这不是真的 |
[11:42] | You’re the killer! | 你就是凶手 |
[11:43] | Your entire life story is totally fabricated. | 你的整个人生就是一个谎言 |
[11:46] | Just look at her insane, obviously made-up, | 看看她那疯狂的假到不能再假的 |
[11:48] | high school transcript. | 高中成绩单 |
[11:50] | I’m very embarrassed about that. | 我为此也很是尴尬 |
[11:52] | Yes, it’s true, I falsified my high school transcripts, | 是的 我伪造了我的高中成绩单 |
[11:54] | but only to cover up the fact that I was homeschooled. | 但是只是为了掩盖其实我是自学的 |
[11:58] | I-I was afraid that if people found out, | 我怕别人知道了 |
[12:00] | they wouldn’t ask me to join a sorority. | 就不会叫我参加联谊会了 |
[12:01] | Liar! You are the baby in the bathtub. | 骗子 你就是浴缸里的孩子 |
[12:04] | You look just like Boone. | 你和布恩太像了 |
[12:06] | And Pete told us that your DNA matched Boone and my dad. | 皮特说你的DNA和布恩以及我爸爸相符 |
[12:09] | Are you talking about the same Pete | 你说的是那个 |
[12:11] | who admitted to being one of the killers? | 承认自己杀人的皮特吗 |
[12:13] | He’s just making that all up | 他编造了这些 |
[12:14] | to cover for his real partner in crime, | 来掩护他真正的犯罪伙伴 |
[12:16] | Chanel #5! | 香奈儿五号 |
[12:18] | No. | 不是的 |
[12:19] | Well, then how do you explain the fact | 那你怎么解释你父母 |
[12:20] | that there’s absolutely no records | 完全没有任何 |
[12:22] | on your parents anywhere? | 记录存在的事实 |
[12:25] | I think the answer to that is at the door. | 我想答案就在门口了 |
[12:32] | What? | 什么 |
[12:34] | Sweetheart. | 亲爱的 |
[12:35] | Hester? | 海丝特 |
[12:36] | Oh, sweetheart, are you okay? | 亲爱的 你没事吧 |
[12:37] | Stepfather. | 继父 |
[12:39] | We came as soon as we heard. | 我们一听说就赶过来了 |
[12:40] | Oh, Mother. | 妈妈 |
[12:41] | Cuddlebear. | 抱抱熊 |
[12:43] | Everyone, these are my parents, Clark and Delight. | 各位 这是我父母 克拉克和迪莱特 |
[12:46] | Hester is our biological daughter. | 海丝特是我们的亲生女儿 |
[12:48] | She definitely was not adopted. | 她绝对不是被收养的 |
[12:50] | I have the stretch marks to prove it. | 我有妊娠纹来证明 |
[12:52] | That’s right, we’re prepared to corroborate | 是的 我们就是来证实 |
[12:54] | everything my stepdaughter, Hester, has just said. | 我的继女海丝特所说的一切的 |
[12:58] | Do I know you? | 我认识你吗 |
[12:59] | Wait, hold on, there’s no record of Hester’s parents anywhere. | 等等 我们没查到海丝特父母的任何记录啊 |
[13:02] | That’s because, until recently, | 这是因为直到最近 |
[13:04] | my husband and I worked for the CIA. | 我们夫妇俩都在为中央情报局工作 |
[13:06] | We were forced to remain deep undercover | 我们必须要保持身份的隐秘 |
[13:08] | to protect Hester and Cuddlebear | 来保护海丝特和抱抱熊 |
[13:10] | and the people who love them. | 以及爱她们的人们 |
[13:11] | Wait, I do know! I know where I know you from. | 等等 我认识你 我知道你打哪来的 |
[13:13] | You’re from that prostate commercial. | 我在前列腺广告里见过你 |
[13:15] | Can you say that line I love so much? | 你再说一遍我超爱的那句台词呗 |
[13:19] | “Thanks, MaxFlow, | “谢谢 强大力 |
[13:20] | my stream’s never been stronger.” | 我的清流从未这么有力” |
[13:21] | “Never been stronger,” Yes! I love that line! | “从未这么有力” 对 我超爱这句 |
[13:23] | Well, in order to not blow their super-secret CIA covers, | 为了掩饰他们的中情局超级特工身份 |
[13:26] | my parents sometimes work as actors in commercials. | 我父母有时候会去拍拍广告 |
[13:28] | Oh, yeah, yeah. | 是的 是的 |
[13:29] | Well, I want to talk to my parents, | 我要跟我父母谈 |
[13:31] | so they can explain to you | 他们就可以告诉你们 |
[13:32] | how I am not a serial killer, | 为什么我不是连环杀手了 |
[13:33] | nor am I the baby in the bathtub. | 也不是什么浴缸里的婴儿 |
[13:35] | Don’t worry, I already called your parents. | 不用急 我已经把你父母叫来了 |
[13:43] | Wha…? | 什么 |
[13:45] | Mom and Dad! | 妈妈 爸爸 |
[13:50] | Can you please tell everybody how I wasn’t adopted, | 请你们告诉大家我不是被收养的 |
[13:53] | nor am I a serial killer? | 也不是连环杀手 |
[13:55] | So, we’re not Chanel #5’s real parents. | 我们并不是香奈儿五号的亲生父母 |
[13:58] | A woman named Gigi | 一个叫琪琪的女人 |
[14:00] | gave her to us after a sizable stint in a mental institution. | 在精神病院缩减开支后把她交给了我们 |
[14:03] | What?! | 什么 |
[14:03] | We took her in | 我们接受了她 |
[14:04] | out of the kindness of our hearts. | 因为我们内心充满善意 |
[14:05] | And also for the tax deduction. | 也是因为能减税 |
[14:08] | That’s not true! | 这不是真的 |
[14:09] | All Gigi asked was that when the time came | 琪琪只要求我们到时候 |
[14:11] | that we enroll our daughter at Wallace University | 要让她读华莱士大学 |
[14:14] | and encourage her to pledge Kappa Kappa Tau. | 并鼓励她加入KKT姐妹会 |
[14:16] | We tried to love her like our own, | 我们想要爱她如己出 |
[14:18] | but, I mean… she’s not great. | 但 我想说 她不够好 |
[14:21] | And now that the truth is out that she’s probably a murderer, | 现在她更是有可能成为凶手 |
[14:23] | we don’t want to have anything to do with her. | 我们不想和她扯上任何关系 |
[14:25] | No! | 不 |
[14:27] | How could you do this to me?! | 你怎么能这么对我 |
[14:31] | I have to be honest, we’ve actually discussed doing | 老实说 我们也考虑过 |
[14:33] | exactly what you’re proposing. | 你建议的这些事 |
[14:34] | As soon as she learned to talk, I wanted to disown her. | 她刚开始学说话 我就不想要她了 |
[14:37] | I mean, maybe she’s the killer on campus, maybe she’s not, | 她可能是校园杀手 也可能不是 |
[14:40] | – but she probably is, right? – Yeah. | -但她应该就是了吧 -是啊 |
[14:43] | I mean, she just sucks. | 我想说 她真的烂透了 |
[14:44] | Our daughter sucks. | 我们的女儿烂透了 |
[14:46] | I can’t believe what I’m hearing! | 你们怎么可以这样说 |
[14:48] | Please tell them the truth. | 快告诉她们真相 |
[14:49] | It is the truth, you frumpy monster. | 这就是真相 你个土鳖 |
[14:51] | The psychologists said | 心理学家说 |
[14:52] | you probably wouldn’t remember the asylum | 你可能会记不起精神病院的事 |
[14:54] | on account of it being so traumatic. | 因为它带来的心理创伤过大 |
[14:56] | Your mind filled in the gaps with imagined memories | 你的心中充满着臆想出来的 |
[14:58] | of growing up in our house. | 在我家成长的回忆 |
[15:00] | But, sweetie, you’re toxic, | 可亲爱的 你就一祸害 |
[15:01] | and you’re bumming us out, so it’s time for you to go. | 很招我俩烦 所以你该走了 |
[15:04] | Okay, okay, I have heard enough. | 好了好了 我听够了 |
[15:07] | Now, I still believe that Zayday Williams is the killer. | 现在 我依然坚信扎丹·威廉姆斯是凶手 |
[15:11] | Okay. | 随你 |
[15:11] | But this, this is real suspicious. | 但这个 确实也很可疑 |
[15:15] | So, Chanel #5, | 所以 香奈儿五号 |
[15:17] | you are under arrest. | 你被捕了 |
[15:20] | What?! | 什么 |
[15:21] | You can’t arrest me– don’t you need, | 你不能逮捕我 你难道不需要 |
[15:22] | like, a warrant or something from a judge? | 法官批的许可令才能逮捕我吗 |
[15:25] | What?! | 啥 |
[15:25] | I’m the chief of the police department, | 老娘可是警察局长 |
[15:28] | and I can arrest whoever I want. | 想逮谁就逮谁 |
[15:30] | And, little girl, you, | 还有 小妞你听好 |
[15:32] | you got the right to remain silent. | 你有权保持沉默 |
[15:34] | And you got some other rights that come after that, | 还有其他我都不知道是什么鬼的 |
[15:36] | and I don’t know what they are, | 乱七八糟的权力 |
[15:38] | ’cause I don’t remember what I’m supposed to say | 因为我不记得”你有权保持沉默” |
[15:40] | after “You got the right to remain silent,” But come on! | 后面的台词了 不过咱还是走吧 |
[15:43] | Wait, I’m not finished. | 等等 我还没说完 |
[15:45] | She’s not the only killer. | 她不是唯一的杀手 |
[15:47] | You also need to arrest… Chanel #3! | 你还得逮捕…香奈儿三号 |
[15:57] | Wait, you think I’m the killer? | 等等 你觉得凶手是我吗 |
[15:59] | I know for a fact that you’re working hand-in-hand | 我可是很清楚你一直跟香奈儿五号 |
[16:01] | with Chanel #5 and her evil killing brother Boone, | 和他那邪恶的杀手兄弟布恩狼狈为奸 |
[16:04] | and that your first victim was Deaf Taylor Swift. | 第一个受害者就是失聪版泰勒·斯威夫特 |
[16:07] | What? That’s impossible. | 什么 不可能 |
[16:09] | When the pledges were buried up to their necks in the backyard, | 当预备会员被埋在地里只剩脑袋时 |
[16:11] | I was sipping banana daiquiris at the White Stallion. | 我在白色骏马喝香蕉鸡尾酒 |
[16:13] | Well, yeah, you came to the White Stallion with us, | 没错 你是和我们一起去了白色骏马 |
[16:16] | but then you disappeared as soon as we got there. | 可我们刚到那儿你就不见了 |
[16:17] | Care to elaborate, Number Three? | 可以请你解释一下吗 三号 |
[16:19] | I can explain. | 我能解释 |
[16:21] | When I got to the bar, | 我刚到酒吧 |
[16:22] | I realized my stomach was really bothering me. | 就觉得胃不太对劲 |
[16:23] | I thought maybe someone had put something in my drink | 可能有人在我的饮料里下了药 |
[16:25] | because I was getting mad cramps, | 因为胃疼得太厉害了 |
[16:27] | and I knew it was gonna be trouble. | 肯定会造成麻烦 |
[16:28] | I was past needing to go number two. | 单拉大便已经解决不了问题 |
[16:30] | I needed to go number three. | 我得拉稀 |
[16:35] | But the bathrooms at the White Stallion are freakin’ disgusting. | 可白色骏马的洗手间太他妈恶心了 |
[16:37] | There was no way I was gonna lay down some pipe in there. | 我可不想在那里面拉几坨热翔 |
[16:40] | So I went back to Kappa House | 所以我回到卡帕公馆 |
[16:41] | and I destroyed the bathroom upstairs. | 把楼上的厕所給轰炸了个够 |
[16:43] | But I didn’t kill anyone. | 但我一个人都没杀 |
[16:44] | Hmm, so let me get this straight. | 让我来帮你梳理一遍 |
[16:45] | You’re accusing someone here in Kappa House | 你是在指责卡帕公馆里的一个人 |
[16:47] | of putting laxatives in your cocktail? | 在你的鸡尾酒里加了泻药吗 |
[16:50] | Messing with somebody’s regularity? | 扰乱他人生活作息吗 |
[16:52] | That’s downright criminal. | 这绝对是大罪一条 |
[16:53] | I just don’t understand how deep the hole’s supposed to be. | 我只是不懂那个洞得有多深 |
[16:56] | Whore deep! | 淋逼那么深 |
[16:57] | What kind of a question is that?! | 这算哪门子问题 |
[17:00] | Useless. | 废柴 |
[17:02] | Hmm, but let’s say you aren’t lying and that you didn’t | 好 就算你没说谎 没有割下 |
[17:05] | mow Deaf Taylor Swift’s head off. | 失聪版泰勒·斯威夫特的头 |
[17:07] | I know for a fact | 可我知道 |
[17:08] | that you killed Predatory Lez. | 是你杀了淫魔拉拉 |
[17:10] | – No, I didn’t. – You know, when you sent her down there to die | -我没有 -是你把她害死的 |
[17:13] | because you were too ashamed of your feelings for her, | 因为你为自己对她的感情感到羞耻 |
[17:16] | I went down there to check on her, | 当我跑下来看她有没有事时 |
[17:17] | when I caught a glimpse of someone running up the stairs, | 正好看到有人往楼上跑 |
[17:20] | and they were wearing earmuffs! | 她头上都戴着耳罩 |
[17:22] | – You’re lying! – That’s just what I saw. | -你骗人 -说出所见之事罢了 |
[17:24] | Well, just saying you saw something isn’t evidence. | 你看到的可算不上证据 |
[17:26] | No, you right, it’s not evidence. | 你说得对 算不上证据 |
[17:28] | But it is suspicious. | 但也够可疑的了 |
[17:31] | You know why? | 你知道为啥吗 |
[17:32] | ‘Cause you the only one in here wearing earmuffs! | 因为你是这里唯一一个戴耳罩的 |
[17:34] | Yeah, I know. | 不用你说 |
[17:35] | Let’s not forget | 大家别忘了 |
[17:36] | the most suspicious fact of all. | 最可疑的一点 |
[17:40] | You’re Charles Manson’s daughter. | 你是查尔斯·曼森的女儿 |
[17:41] | Uh, say what, now?! | 你说啥 |
[17:42] | And you have a shoebox full of letters from him | 你还有一个鞋盒 里面放满了 |
[17:45] | giving you advice on how to kill your friends. | 他寄给你关于怎么杀朋友的建议 |
[17:48] | Wait, Number Three, is that true? | 等等 三号 那是真的吗 |
[17:50] | I can explain. | 我可以解释 |
[17:52] | Yes, I’ve become pen pals | 没错 我和我的生父 |
[17:53] | with my biological father, Charles Manson. | 查尔斯·曼森成了笔友 |
[17:55] | I wanted my real dad to help me | 我想让我的生父教我一些 |
[17:56] | with some growing-up stuff, like how to French-kiss a boy | 大人做的事情 比如怎么跟男生湿吻 |
[17:59] | or how to know when I’ve met Mr. or Miss Right. | 如何分辨自己是否遇上了真命天子 |
[18:01] | But when he writes back, his advice is always, | 但是每次他在回信里给我的建议都是 |
[18:03] | “Maybe you should murder some of your sorority sisters.” | “也许你该杀几个姐妹会里的姐妹” |
[18:05] | Why don’t you go ahead and read us one? | 不如你来给我们念一封吧 |
[18:08] | “Precious daughter, | “宝贝女儿 |
[18:09] | I’m sorry I don’t know anything about yeast infections, | 很抱歉我不了解酵母菌感染的事情 |
[18:11] | but I did see an incredible story on the news about, | 但是我在新闻里看到一个惊人的消息 |
[18:14] | uh, a pizza guy who had a bomb strapped to him.” | 一个送披萨的身上竟然绑了炸药” |
[18:16] | What? | 什么 |
[18:17] | “I’m totes sad that I can’t order a pizza to the penitentiary | “我很遗憾无法从监狱里叫披萨 |
[18:19] | and strap a bomb to the pizza guy, | 然后在他身上安个炸弹 |
[18:20] | but that doesn’t mean y-you can’t.” | 但不代表你不可以” |
[18:23] | Oh, man. | 天啊 |
[18:25] | That’s real suspicious. | 的确是很可疑 |
[18:27] | I-I’m telling you, I didn’t kill anybody. | 我告诉你们 我没杀任何人 |
[18:29] | Well, maybe you didn’t, | 可能你没杀 |
[18:30] | – but your split personality did. – What? | -但是你的另一个人格杀了人 -什么 |
[18:32] | I have a signed letter here from your psychiatrist. | 我这儿有一封你精神病医师的签名信 |
[18:34] | I’ve never been to a psychiatrist. | 我从没看过精神病医师 |
[18:35] | Well, your split personality has. | 你的另一个人格去看过 |
[18:37] | It says right here. | 信里都说了 |
[18:38] | “Dear Hester, | “亲爱的海丝特 |
[18:40] | yes, | 是的 |
[18:41] | I treated Chanel #3 for split personality disorder | 我治疗过香奈儿三号的人格分裂失调症 |
[18:45] | over the course of about eight months. | 大概有八个月的时间 |
[18:47] | She showed up at my office in a leather jacket, | 她总是穿着皮夹克来我的办公室 |
[18:49] | claiming her name was Dirty Helen | 自称’放荡海伦’ |
[18:52] | and that she was the leader | 还说自己是一个臭名昭著的 |
[18:53] | of a notorious West Coast biker gang. | 西海岸飞车党的领袖 |
[18:55] | Dirty Helen made threats against my family, | 放荡海伦威胁我的家人 |
[18:58] | and I was forced to move my practice | 我被逼无奈将我的诊所 |
[19:01] | out of the country. | 搬到了国外 |
[19:02] | Signed, Dr. Adam Berkel, MD.” | 署名 亚当·贝克尔医生” |
[19:05] | Oh, my God, so you’re saying | 天啊 你是说放荡海伦有可能 |
[19:06] | that Dirty Helen could have killed Sam and Deaf Taylor Swift | 杀了萨姆和失聪版泰勒·斯威夫特 |
[19:08] | and I would have no memory of killing them | 而我却对杀人和接受治疗这些事 |
[19:10] | or receiving treatment? | 完全没有任何记忆吗 |
[19:11] | That’s exactly how a split personality works. | 人格分裂患者就是这样的 |
[19:13] | Chanel #5 admitted to you that | 香奈儿五号向你承认了 |
[19:14] | she was the baby in the bathtub, | 她就是当年浴缸中的婴儿 |
[19:16] | and then she convinced your split personality | 她还说服你的另一个人格 |
[19:18] | to join her on a killing spree. | 和她一起杀人 |
[19:20] | So, Dirty Helen, I’m the other baby in the bathtub, | 放荡海伦 我是浴缸中的另一个婴儿 |
[19:22] | and I want you to join my killing spree. | 我希望你能加入我的杀人狂欢 |
[19:25] | Okay, cool. But let’s not tell Chanel #3. | 好呀 但是不要告诉香奈儿三号 |
[19:27] | This conversation never took place! | 这段对话从没发生过 |
[19:30] | Yeah, but if it did, I wouldn’t remember | 即使发生过我也不会记得 |
[19:32] | ’cause you were talking to my evil split personality, | 因为你是在跟我的邪恶人格放荡海伦 |
[19:34] | Dirty Helen. | 进行对话 |
[19:34] | Okay, Chanel #3, you are under arrest. | 好吧 香奈儿三号 你被捕了 |
[19:39] | Sam, wherever you are, | 萨姆 无论你在哪儿 |
[19:40] | I’m so sorry my split personality murdered you! | 抱歉我的分裂人格杀了你 |
[19:43] | Wait! | 等会儿 |
[19:44] | There’s someone else you need to arrest, too. | 还有一个人需要逮捕 |
[19:47] | Chanel Oberlin! | 香奈儿·奥伯林 |
[19:56] | – Wait, what? – Uh, excuse me. | -等会儿 什么 -不好意思 |
[19:58] | Uh, if you’re gonna just continue to accuse everyone, | 你们如果还要继续指认罪犯的话 |
[20:00] | could we at least sit down? | 我们能不能坐下听 |
[20:02] | Liam, we’re gonna lose our reservation. | 利亚姆 我们在餐厅预定的座位就要过期了 |
[20:04] | Uh, it’s all really interesting though. | 的确是很有趣 |
[20:06] | I have proof that you, Chanel Oberlin, | 我有证据证明 香奈儿·奥伯林 |
[20:08] | entered a home improvement store two months ago | 两个月之前你在一个家装商店 |
[20:10] | and purchased the following items: | 购买了以下物品 |
[20:12] | a garden shear, a riding mower, three chain saws, | 一把园艺剪 一辆除草车 三个链条锯 |
[20:15] | a pneumatic nail gun, two axes, | 一把气动钉枪 两把斧头 |
[20:17] | and a crossbow. | 和一把十字弓 |
[20:18] | Okay, first of all, | 首先 |
[20:20] | I was the one who was shot with the crossbow! | 我才是那个被十字弓射中的人 |
[20:22] | And also they don’t sell crossbows | 而且家装商店根本就 |
[20:24] | at home improvement centers! | 不卖十字弓 |
[20:25] | Oh, Chanel, the security footage begs to differ. | 香奈儿 监控录像恕不同意你的说法 |
[20:34] | It’s also stated right here, | 你的大来卡信用卡 |
[20:35] | in your Diners Club monthly statement. | 每月对账单上也写明了 |
[20:39] | I’ll take that, too. | 那个我也要了 |
[20:40] | What?! | 什么 |
[20:42] | I don’t have a Diners Club card! | 我根本就没有大来卡信用卡 |
[20:44] | Is Diners Club still even a thing? | 现在还有大来卡这种东西吗 |
[20:46] | I still keep one in my wallet for backup. | 我钱包里还放着一张以备不时之需 |
[20:49] | I don’t know why I’m the one who always has to bring this up, | 不知道为什么总是由我来提起这件事 |
[20:52] | but we did all watch Chanel burn Ms. Bean’s face off. | 但我们确实看着香奈儿把贝恩太太的脸烫掉了 |
[20:58] | For the last time, | 我再说最后一遍 |
[21:00] | that was a Hell Week prank gone wrong! | 那只是个失败的地狱周整蛊而已 |
[21:02] | I didn’t know the oil was boiling! | 我根本不知道油是热的 |
[21:04] | Someone turned on that deep fryer! | 有人把炸锅打开了 |
[21:11] | – I don’t know. – And I did just | -我不知道 -今天下午 |
[21:12] | watch you try to murder Melanie Dorkus | 我的确看见你拿着一把剪刀 |
[21:14] | with a pair of scissors earlier this afternoon. | 想要杀害梅兰妮·多克斯 |
[21:15] | I only did that | 我这么做是因为 |
[21:16] | because I thought she was the killer! | 我以为她是凶手 |
[21:20] | I mean, I’m telling you, I’m not the Red Devil! | 我跟你们说 我不是红衣恶魔 |
[21:24] | You bitch. | 你个心机婊 |
[21:25] | What is your game here? | 你到底想干什么 |
[21:26] | I mean, I’m all for Number Five being the killer. | 我完全同意香奈儿五号是凶手 |
[21:29] | She’s a weird psychopath | 她就是个神经病 |
[21:31] | who would look like Boone’s homely, bloated sister | 如果她任由其可怕的黑色胡子长出来的话 |
[21:33] | if she let her horrible black roots grow out. | 她看起来就会跟布恩又丑又胖的姐妹一样 |
[21:35] | She probably is the baby in the bathtub. | 说不定她就是那个出生在浴缸里的婴儿 |
[21:38] | And I am 100% not surprised that Chanel #3 | 而且香奈儿三号也是个精神分裂的疯子 |
[21:41] | is also a psycho with a split personality, | 对于这一点我丝毫不感到惊讶 |
[21:44] | who is helping Number Five murder everybody! | 她帮助香奈儿五号杀了所有人 |
[21:46] | But why me?! | 但为什么是我 |
[21:47] | I mean, I am a pillar of this community. | 我可是这个社区的支柱 |
[21:50] | I’m also already hot and rich. | 我已经是白富美了 |
[21:52] | What would I have to gain by hatching a plan | 谋划杀死那些没有什么名气的蠢女人们 |
[21:54] | to knock off a bunch of nameless dumb whores? | 会给我带来什么好处呢 |
[21:55] | I don’t think that you did hatch the plan, Chanel. | 我觉得不是你想出的计划 香奈儿 |
[21:58] | But I think that once the murders started happening, | 但是我认为那些杀戮开始后 |
[22:00] | you saw it as the perfect opportunity to knock off | 你就把它视为一个可以用来清理那些你认为 |
[22:03] | the pledges that you thought would ruin Kappa Kappa Tau. | 会毁了KKT姐妹会的预备会员们的绝好机会 |
[22:05] | With each murdered pledge, this sorority house | 每杀掉一个预备会员 这个姐妹会 |
[22:08] | got closer to being the Kappa Tau | 就朝你想象中的KKT姐妹会 |
[22:10] | that you always intended it to be! | 更近了一步 |
[22:12] | Oh, yeah? | 是吗 |
[22:13] | Well, then why didn’t I kill | 好吧 那我为什么不杀掉 |
[22:15] | the two pledges I actually hate– | 这两个我真的痛恨的预备会员 |
[22:17] | dumb-ass Grace and stupid Zayday? | 蠢货格蕾丝和傻蛋扎丹呢 |
[22:19] | Plausible deniability! You knew by keeping | 合理推诿 你知道让她们两个活着 |
[22:21] | these two alive that it would keep everyone off your scent. | 可以不引起大家对你的怀疑 |
[22:23] | No! | 不是 |
[22:24] | Come on, Cyclops. | 加油 独眼侠 |
[22:26] | In the sleuthing business, | 在侦探行业里 |
[22:27] | that’s what we call ice-cold logic. | 我们管这叫缜密推理 |
[22:31] | It’s obvious | 仔细想想 |
[22:32] | when you look at it, Chanel, | 就会觉得非常明显 香奈儿 |
[22:34] | that everything that’s happened on this campus so far | 迄今为止校园里所发生的一切 |
[22:36] | is just the logical next step for sororities everywhere. | 正是姐妹会下一步该发展的方向 |
[22:40] | Because what’s murder if not | 因为还有什么能比谋杀 |
[22:41] | the most perfect, ultimate form of hazing? | 更能体现完美欺凌的最高境界 |
[22:43] | What better way for you to knock off everyone that you hate, | 想除掉所有那些你讨厌的人 |
[22:47] | because they’re different from you or not as popular | 就因为他们和你不同 或不如你受欢迎 |
[22:49] | or not as pretty, than to murder them | 或不如你漂亮 最好的办法就是一个接一个 |
[22:51] | one by one?! | 杀光他们 |
[22:58] | Congratulations, Chanel. | 恭喜你 香奈儿 |
[23:00] | You almost got the Kappa House that you always dreamed of. | 你差一点就得到梦寐以求的卡帕公馆了 |
[23:04] | This is what I like to call | 我喜欢把这叫做 |
[23:06] | first-class entertainment. | 一级娱乐活动 |
[23:08] | And I’d love nothing more | 而且我很乐意 |
[23:10] | than to stand around here watching you all | 站在这里看你们所有人 |
[23:12] | descend into a nightmare of accusation | 陷入一场互相指责 |
[23:15] | and recrimination. | 相互揭短的噩梦中 |
[23:16] | But I am here to represent the law. | 但我是代表法律站在这里的 |
[23:20] | And unfortunately for you, | 至于你 很不幸 |
[23:22] | Chanel Oberlin, | 香奈儿·奥伯林 |
[23:23] | AKA, one of the murderers, | 也是众多凶手之一 |
[23:25] | you are under arrest. | 你被捕了 |
[23:27] | You’ll never take me alive! | 只要我活着就别想把我抓走 |
[23:30] | Time to call in the po-po. | 到了该找警察叔叔的时候了 |
[23:32] | The Chief of Police is requesting backup. | 警察局长要求支援 |
[23:50] | Are these strippers? | 他们是脱衣舞男吗 |
[23:51] | They used to be strippers, okay? | 他们以前是脱衣舞男 好吗 |
[23:53] | But, uh, super-sleuthing | 但现在是超级侦探 |
[23:56] | Chief of Police Denise Hemphill had ’em deputized. | 警察局长迪尼斯·亨普希尔任命他们为警官 |
[23:59] | Get ’em, boys! | 抓住他们 伙计们 |
[24:17] | You rich, dumb hos are going downtown! | 你们这些有钱的贱人们要进监狱了 |
[24:21] | Get ’em out of here! | 把她们带出去 |
[24:22] | You can’t! Wait, no! | 你不能这样 等等 不要 |
[24:26] | You can’t! Wait, no, no! | 你不能这样 等等 不要 |
[24:30] | I still gots my eye on you, Zayday Williams! | 我还会盯着你的 扎丹·威廉姆斯 |
[24:48] | What are differences five months can make? | 五个月的时间会发生什么变化呢 |
[24:50] | Order on campus was restored. | 校园的秩序重新恢复 |
[24:53] | And when the Chanels were denied bail | 当香奈儿保释被拒 |
[24:55] | and sent to jail awaiting trial… | 被送到监狱等候审判时… |
[24:59] | I am holding you in contempt of court. | 因为你们蔑视法庭 |
[25:02] | Bail is revoked! | 驳回保释 |
[25:04] | Justice had been served. | 正义得到了伸张 |
[25:06] | Chad Radwell and Denise Hemphill | 查德·雷德威尔和迪尼斯·亨普希尔 |
[25:08] | continued their torrid love affair. | 继续着他们扭曲的恋爱 |
[25:10] | It ceased to be just a booty call. | 那已经不仅仅只是一次约炮行为了 |
[25:12] | When they broke up, he was devastated. | 当他们分手的时候 他受到了沉重的打击 |
[25:15] | I’m sorry! | 对不起 |
[25:16] | I just don’t understand how you just end it. | 我只是不明白你为什么要分手 |
[25:18] | Because we’re chasing waterfalls! | 因为我们在追逐瀑布 |
[25:21] | We got to stick to the rivers | 我们必须坚守在 |
[25:22] | and the lakes that we used to! | 过去熟悉的河流当中[歌曲《瀑布》的歌词] |
[25:25] | I thought we were in the marriage zone. | 我还以为我们已经进入谈婚论嫁的阶段了 |
[25:26] | I don’t have a choice is what I’m telling you. | 我要说的是 我别无选择 |
[25:29] | I got to be in Quantico tomorrow. | 我明天就要去匡蒂科了 |
[25:31] | I know you need me. | 我知道你需要我 |
[25:33] | You need all of this. | 我这里的全部你都需要 |
[25:34] | But the FBI needs me more. | 但是联调局更需要我 |
[25:36] | The FBI is not gonna have that. | 不能让联调局拥有那些 |
[25:37] | That’s mine! | 那是我的 |
[25:39] | Denise, you hurt me real bad. | 迪尼斯 你真是伤透了我的心 |
[25:41] | Don’t do that. | 别这样 |
[25:42] | Wait, wait! No, no! | 等等 不 不 |
[25:43] | Baby, please! | 宝贝 求你 |
[25:44] | Don’t let it end like this. | 不要让我们就这样结束 |
[25:47] | Don’t do that to us. | 别这样对我们 |
[25:49] | Come on. Come on, baby. | 来嘛 来嘛 宝贝儿 |
[25:58] | Damn it, Denise. | 妈的 迪尼斯 |
[26:00] | It was never gonna work out between us. | 我们永远没法真正在一起的 |
[26:02] | We got too close to the sun, baby. | 我们离太阳太近了 宝贝儿 |
[26:05] | We shined too bright. | 我们太过耀眼 |
[26:07] | I promise I will never bang anyone the way I banged you. | 我保证我绝不会用操你的方式去操别人 |
[26:10] | Boy, you gonna make me cry! | 你快把我感动哭了 |
[26:19] | Go. | 走吧 |
[26:21] | Just go! | 快走吧 |
[26:22] | You don’t want to look back at it? | 你不想再看它一眼了吗 |
[26:25] | One more time? | 再看一眼 |
[26:30] | Go! | 走吧 |
[26:35] | Press outlets of the world, | 世界各地的媒体朋友们 |
[26:37] | on behalf of all the Dickie Dollar Scholars who are no longer with us… | 我代表那些已故的迪基奖学金协会成员 |
[26:41] | I would like to announce the formation of… | 宣布迪基奖学金·厄尔·格雷 |
[26:46] | The Dickie Dollar Earl Grey roger Dodger Caulfield | 罗杰·多杰·加尔菲德慈善基金会 |
[26:48] | Charitable Foundation, or the DDEGRDCCF. | 或简称为DDEGRDCCF 正式成立 |
[26:54] | From henceforth, all proceeds | 从今以后 奖学金协会所举办的 |
[26:55] | from every Dollar Scholar kegger, | 每场啤酒聚会 |
[26:57] | wet T-shirt contest, coed mud wrestling tournament | 湿身竞赛 男女混合泥浆摔跤锦标赛 |
[27:01] | and Jell-O shot gavage | 填喂果冻等活动获得的收益 |
[27:02] | will go– that’s right– to charity. | 都会尽数捐献给慈善机构 |
[27:08] | What’s up? | 请讲 |
[27:09] | What charity will the Dollar Scholars be pledging to support? | 奖学金协会将保证向何种慈善机构捐款呢 |
[27:14] | What do you mean, “What charity”? | 什么叫何种慈善机构 |
[27:15] | Just charity. | 就是慈善机构啊 |
[27:17] | All proceeds will go to charity. | 所有收益都捐给慈善机构 |
[27:18] | Yes, uh, but which charity? | 没错 但是是哪家慈善机构呢 |
[27:22] | Uh… I-I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
[27:25] | All of them? | 全部吧 |
[27:27] | Okay, you know, I’m not a big fan of gotcha questions, dude! | 要知道我不喜欢回答这种刁难的问题 |
[27:29] | My friends are dead! I have nothing left! | 我的朋友们都已经过世了 我孑然一身 |
[27:31] | Nothing! | 一无所有 |
[27:33] | Next question. | 下一个问题 |
[27:34] | As for me, | 对我而言 |
[27:36] | I wrote up a quick book and became a media sensation. | 我写的一本书引起了媒体的轰动 |
[27:39] | I was on the cover of Time, Newsweek | 它让我登上了《时代》《新闻周刊》 |
[27:40] | 《时代》 与蒙什面对面 新新女性主义的崛起 | |
[27:41] | 《新闻周刊》 新新女性主义的面孔 | |
[27:42] | and Men’s Health. | 还有《男性健康》的封面 |
[27:42] | 《男性健康》 凯茜·蒙什 女性偶像 | |
[27:44] | Well, I didn’t write it. I had a ghostwriter do it. | 其实这本书不是我写的 是枪手替我写的 |
[27:49] | Dean Munsch, your book is an absolute revelation. | 蒙什教务长 你的书简直是心灵启示录 |
[27:52] | Is there any way | 能否把你的 |
[27:53] | you could sum up your philosophy | 新新女性主义哲学 |
[27:55] | on new new feminism in just a few words? | 用几个字简要概括一下呢 |
[28:00] | If feminism was about demanding | 如果说女性主义是 |
[28:02] | equal treatment for women, | 为女性争取同等待遇 |
[28:04] | and new feminism was saying | 那么新女性主义讲的是 |
[28:06] | that men and women are integral complements to one another, | 男人和女人互不可缺 |
[28:10] | then I guess we could sum up, | 那我想新新女性主义 |
[28:12] | uh, new new feminism really in three simple words: | 可以总结为以下三个字 |
[28:18] | women are better. | 女胜男 |
[28:21] | I mean, the proof– it’s right in front of us. | 证据就在我们眼前 |
[28:23] | If you think about all of human history, | 回想一下人类的历史 |
[28:26] | add up the wars and the genocide, | 所有的战争 灭族 |
[28:29] | all the oppression, the violence, the exploitation, | 所有的压迫 暴力 剥削 |
[28:32] | the degradation of the human spirit, | 以及人类灵魂的堕落 |
[28:36] | what do all those things have in common? | 都有着同一个共通点 |
[28:40] | Dudes. | 都有男人 |
[28:41] | They have dudes in common, right? | 这些事件都有男人参与其中 对不对 |
[28:44] | So maybe, just maybe, | 所以可能 只是有可能 |
[28:46] | it’s not just places like Wallace University | 不只是华莱士大学 |
[28:50] | that are better off with a woman in charge. | 世界的任何一个地方 |
[28:52] | Maybe we’d be better off if a woman was charge… | 如果由女性掌权都会变得更好 |
[28:55] | Everywhere! | 每一个地方 |
[28:57] | Exactly! | 正是如此 |
[29:01] | Thank you. Thank you. | 谢谢 谢谢 |
[29:05] | The culture at this university has been changed for the better. | 这所大学的氛围变得比以前更好了 |
[29:09] | It’s true, a lot of people had to die to make that happen, | 确实 很多人为之付出了生命 |
[29:12] | but I often catch myself thinking, | 但我经常在想 |
[29:15] | “You know what? Maybe it was worth it.” | 其实想想看 也许这都是值得的 |
[29:25] | Girls, I am thrilled | 姑娘们 我很高兴 |
[29:27] | that you’ve taken the initiative | 你们主动承担了 |
[29:29] | to do the upkeep for our new memorial. | 维护我们新纪念碑的责任 |
[29:32] | Well, we decided it was the least Kappa could do. | 卡帕做这点事实在是很不值一提的 |
[29:34] | Considering Kappa is kind of the reason they’re all dead. | 毕竟这些人的死都与卡帕有关 |
[29:37] | Isn’t it so beautiful? | 它是不是很漂亮 |
[29:38] | And so nice of the Radwells | 雷德威尔家族真是善良 |
[29:40] | to donate the money to commission it and have it built so quickly? | 愿意捐钱并委托工人在短时间内完工 |
[29:43] | Yeah, I’m-I’m not sure | 是啊 我不是很 |
[29:45] | I’m fully committed to the design. | 中意这个设计 |
[29:48] | Oh, and I should’ve never let Chad write the inscription. | 我也不该让查德来写这些碑文的 |
[29:51] | But I suppose money still talks. | 不过看来钱还是万能的 |
[29:55] | Yeah, well, we’ve got to get going | 对了 我们要走了 |
[29:57] | because I am planning a “Get your yummies in | 因为我打算今晚在公馆里举办一场 |
[29:59] | and your feelings out” baking party at the house tonight. | “美味入口 感受出口”的烘焙派对 |
[30:01] | We’re gonna make cookies and brownies, | 我们要烤曲奇和布朗尼 |
[30:03] | and eat them while we talk about our feelings. | 在分享感受时把它们都吃光光 |
[30:06] | Hester, you think you can finish up the rest of this? | 海丝特 剩下的交给你没问题吧 |
[30:08] | – Make sure my boy Earl gets some extra love. – Yeah. | -要确保我心爱的厄尔得到特别关爱 -好 |
[30:13] | Well, that just sounds awful. | 那听起来真是太糟了 |
[30:15] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
[30:16] | I for one prefer the saccharine banality of life | 比如我就更喜欢格蕾丝和扎丹执掌下 |
[30:18] | under Grace and Zayday | 甜腻的陈词滥调 |
[30:19] | to the toxic sludge the Chanels force-fed us | 而不是香奈儿们每天强迫我们吃下的毒泥 |
[30:21] | every day like we were pated geese. | 就好像我们是为吃鹅肝的鹅一样 |
[30:23] | Yeah, I suppose I agree. | 是啊 我同意 |
[30:25] | But what happened here | 但这些可怜的孩子 |
[30:26] | to those poor kids and the others was… | 和其他人身上发生的事实在是… |
[30:29] | was truly awful. | 真的是太惨了 |
[30:31] | I mean, it was an American tragedy. | 这真是场美国惨剧 |
[30:33] | At least some good came out of all of that evil. | 至少这些邪恶中总算有一些好处 |
[30:37] | Oh, more than some, Dean. | 不止一些 教务长 |
[30:39] | I-I read your best-selling | 我读了三遍您那本 |
[30:40] | New York Times book three times. | 被《纽约时报》评为最畅销的书 |
[30:42] | Th-These kids were martyrs for a much bigger cause. | 这些孩子的牺牲是为了更崇高的事业 |
[30:50] | I know it was you, Hester. | 我知道是你 海丝特 |
[30:53] | I remember that little girl’s face | 我记得那晚浴缸里的 |
[30:55] | in the bathroom that night. | 那个小女孩的脸 |
[30:59] | Burned into my memory, | 深深烙进了我的记忆里 |
[31:01] | like Joe Theismann’s injury and Two Girls One Cup. | 和乔·西斯曼受伤以及《两女一杯》一样 |
[31:04] | I remember every detail of her little face. | 我记得她脸的每一处细节 |
[31:09] | And I certainly would know | 而我当然也会知道 |
[31:10] | what she would look like all grown up. | 她长大后会是什么样子 |
[31:15] | It’s not my fault that all of that happened to me. | 我身上发生的这一切不是我的错 |
[31:18] | You see how awesome Wes is. | 你也看到韦斯有多杰出了 |
[31:21] | He would’ve been my dad. | 他本该是我的父亲 |
[31:23] | I would’ve had a good life. | 我本该有美好的人生 |
[31:25] | Maybe if I would’ve had a real dad, | 也许如果我有一个真正的父亲 |
[31:26] | my brother wouldn’t have turned into such a douche. | 我弟弟就不会变得那么讨厌了 |
[31:28] | Maybe family trips to ski in Innsbruck or | 也许我们全家能一起去因斯布鲁克滑雪 |
[31:30] | to Williamstown to see Tim Daly in Death of a Salesman | 或去威廉斯敦看《推销员之死》的蒂姆·达利 |
[31:33] | would’ve turned me into a much more sane young woman. | 这些都能让我变成一个更正常的女孩子 |
[31:37] | But that didn’t happen. | 但这些都没有发生 |
[31:38] | And I can’t be blamed | 我所经历的 |
[31:39] | for the painful circumstances of my upbringing. | 痛苦的成长环境 并不能怪我 |
[31:42] | No, but those kids died. | 不 这些孩子死了 |
[31:44] | They’re dead. | 他们死了 |
[31:45] | And that is your fault. | 而那是你的错 |
[31:48] | I didn’t kill any of these kids. | 我没有杀这些孩子里的任何一人 |
[31:49] | Except for Pete, but he’s a killer, so that’s allowed. | 除了皮特 但他是凶手 我是为民除害 |
[31:51] | By the State, Hester. | 那也该由国家来决定 海丝特 |
[31:54] | After a trial and lengthy appeals | 经过审判和漫长的上诉 |
[31:56] | and using drugs that are mostly painless. | 还有使用药物 这些通常都是不痛苦的 |
[31:59] | It all worked out, Dean. | 一切都解决了 教务长 |
[32:01] | And I’m never gonna kill again. | 我再也不会杀人了 |
[32:02] | As long as I’m not texting and driving. | 只要我不在开车时发短信 |
[32:05] | Everyone got what they wanted. | 大家都能得偿所愿 |
[32:08] | And even if the Chanels | 而且即使香奈儿们 |
[32:09] | didn’t actually kill any of these people, | 没有亲手杀害这些人 |
[32:10] | they perpetuated the system that created me | 她们保留了这个创造了我 我弟弟 |
[32:13] | and my brother, Pete and Gigi. | 皮特和琪琪的体系 |
[32:16] | So if anyone should pay for this, it should be them. | 如果有人要为此付出代价 那就应该是她们 |
[32:19] | I also have a conscience, | 我对这些死去的孩子 |
[32:22] | and a responsibility to all those dead kids, | 也有良知和责任心 |
[32:25] | that their killer be brought to justice. | 我要让杀害他们的凶手受到公正的裁决 |
[32:30] | So I am gonna turn you in, Hester. | 所以我要告发你 海丝特 |
[32:35] | Then I’m gonna turn you in, | 那我也会告发你 |
[32:38] | for covering up the murder of my mother | 掩盖我母亲被杀的事 |
[32:41] | and killing your ex-husband. | 以及杀害你的前夫 |
[32:46] | Or we could just say we’re good… | 或者我们可以相安无事… |
[32:48] | and move on. | 继续生活 |
[32:50] | To our very happy and successful | 过我们幸福 成功 |
[32:55] | best-selling lives. | 畅销的生活 |
[33:03] | – Okay. – Okay, great. | -好 -好 很好 |
[33:05] | – Take care. – You, too. See ya. | -保重 -你也是 再见 |
[33:20] | This is the “Sophia Doyle | 这里是”索菲娅·道尔 |
[33:21] | I Just Had a Baby and Don’t Know What to Do” Hotline Center. | 我刚刚有了孩子但我不知道怎么办”热线中心 |
[33:21] | 危机热线 请填写每通危机电话的如下信息 一 受害者姓名 二 受害者联系方式 三 事件类型 四 事件描述 五 事件时间 | |
[33:24] | Now, any girl in the situation that | 现在 任何女生如果遇到 |
[33:26] | Sophia found herself in in that bathtub 20 years ago | 二十年前索菲娅在浴缸中遇到的状况 |
[33:28] | has a lifeline. | 都有求生电话可以拨打 |
[33:29] | Someone she can call for help. | 她可以打电话向我们求助 |
[33:31] | I mean, of course, the girls who find her can also call as well. | 当然 发现她的女孩子也可以打来求助 |
[33:34] | We just want to make sure | 我们只是想确保 |
[33:34] | that nothing like this ever happens on campus again. | 学校不会再有这样的事情发生 |
[33:38] | Yeah. | 好 |
[33:39] | Well, it certainly is specific. | 这的确非常具体 |
[33:42] | – Yeah. – How’s it going so far? | -是啊 -现在进展如何 |
[33:46] | Not a lot of activity yet. | 目前还没什么活动 |
[33:49] | – Right. – Yeah. | -好 -好 |
[33:50] | Well, you know, with all the changes | 有了这些在你们的促成下 |
[33:52] | that you guys have facilitated all over the campus, | 而帮助整个校园所做出的改变 |
[33:54] | maybe the next girl who has surprise twins at a party | 或许下一个不小心在派对上生了双胞胎的女孩 |
[33:57] | won’t have to call for help. | 也不用打电话求救了 |
[33:59] | Her friends will just now know | 她的朋友们现在都明白了 |
[34:00] | not to let her bleed to death, | 不能眼看着她流血而亡 |
[34:02] | because it’s the right thing to do. | 因为那才是正确的事情 |
[34:07] | Um, I’m really proud of you, Gracie. | 我真为你骄傲 格蕾丝 |
[34:11] | I-I want to give you a present. | 我想送你一份礼物 |
[34:12] | Something to acknowledge, you know, | 对你这一年来 |
[34:14] | all the hard work that you’ve done this year. | 所做的事情与付出的艰辛给予认可 |
[34:16] | Wait, Dad. | 等等 爸爸 |
[34:18] | Are you getting me a car? | 你要送我一辆车吗 |
[34:20] | What? No. | 什么 当然不是 |
[34:22] | – No. – No, what-what… | -不是啊 -不是 你在 |
[34:23] | are you out of your mind? | 你在想什么呢 |
[34:25] | No. No. Trust. | 不是的 是信任 |
[34:27] | Trust, Gracie. I-I’m giving you my trust. | 信任 格蕾丝 我把我的信任给你 |
[34:30] | Oh, well, that’s cool, too. | 这个也不错 |
[34:34] | You know, I-I just, I-I never… | 我只是 从没有… |
[34:36] | I never actually gave you the chance to matriculate here. | 我一直没给你一个真正进入这个学校的机会 |
[34:39] | I mean, as a student, sure, but not as a woman. | 我让你在这学习 但作为女孩我却不放心你 |
[34:41] | I mean, I was stalking you outside of the sorority house, | 我还在姐妹会外面跟踪你 |
[34:43] | I got a job in the department so I could keep my eye on you. | 我在系里找了份工作 这样就能随时注意你 |
[34:47] | And I never really trusted you to take care of yourself. | 我一直都不相信你能照顾好自己 |
[34:50] | Well, clearly, I was wrong about that. | 很显然 我是错的 |
[34:54] | So does this mean you’re leaving? | 你这么说是要走了吗 |
[34:56] | Well, Dean Munsch, um… | 蒙什教务长 |
[34:59] | …Cathy, uh… | 凯茜 |
[35:01] | I cant stop calling her that, especially because | 我总忍不住那么叫她 尤其是因为 |
[35:03] | she likes me to call her “Dean Munsch” in bed. | 她喜欢我在床上叫她蒙什教务长 |
[35:05] | Uh, anyway, Cathy and I, | 总之 凯茜和我 |
[35:06] | we’re going to Napa for a couple of weeks. | 我们要去纳帕待几个星期 |
[35:08] | We’re gonna, we’re gonna suck down some deep cabs, | 我们打算喝几瓶珍藏多年的解百纳 |
[35:10] | eat some rich blues and… well, I don’t know, | 享用一下威斯硬蓝香烟 我也不知道 |
[35:13] | pretend to make, uh, a lot of babies. | 再假装要造很多小人 |
[35:19] | I think you need your space. | 我想你需要一些空间 |
[35:21] | You’ve earned it. | 这是你应得的 |
[35:23] | I love you, Dad. | 我爱你 爸爸 |
[35:27] | Should we do one of our counting good-byes? | 我们要来个分别时的数数吗 |
[35:29] | No, that’s just for sad good-byes. | 不 悲伤的分别才数数 |
[35:32] | Okay. | 好的 |
[35:33] | One, two, three. | 一 二 三 |
[35:34] | – One, two, three. – Dad… | -一 二 三 -爸爸 |
[35:40] | All rise. | 全体起立 |
[35:46] | Be seated. | 请坐 |
[35:48] | Has the jury reached a verdict? | 陪审团做出判决了吗 |
[35:50] | We have, Your Honor. | 是的 法官阁下 |
[35:52] | We, the jury, | 陪审团全体 |
[35:53] | 华莱士县政府对香奈儿·奥伯林 莉比·帕特尼及塞迪·斯旺森一案 无罪 | |
[35:54] | find the defendants… | 认为被告人 |
[35:55] | Objection! | 反对 |
[35:56] | There is no more objections. The trial is over. | 不能再反对了 审判已经结束了 |
[35:59] | What? When did that happen? | 什么 这是什么时候的事 |
[36:00] | You were asleep. | 你睡着的时候 |
[36:02] | Judge Joe Brown, we, the Chanels, | 法官乔布朗 我们几个香奈儿 |
[36:05] | hereby declare this trial a farce. | 在此表明 这次审判完全是个闹剧 |
[36:07] | I was under the impression that I had the inalienable right | 我记得我有一项不可剥夺的权利 请求一个 |
[36:12] | to a jury of my peers. | 由我同等地位的人组成的陪审团 |
[36:13] | Look at these hippos. | 看看这些乡巴佬 |
[36:14] | These are not | 他们根本不是 |
[36:15] | my peers. | 跟我同等地位的人 |
[36:16] | I’m a hot, rich, skinny chick, which makes me | 我是性感有钱又骨感的女孩 因此我有权 |
[36:20] | entitled to a jury of hot, rich, skinny chicks | 请求一个由性感有钱又骨感的女孩们 |
[36:23] | to see how awesome I am | 组成的陪审团来看看我有多棒 |
[36:24] | and to see that the three of us | 并且证明我们三个 |
[36:26] | are innocent! | 是无罪的 |
[36:28] | Your-Your Honor! | 法官阁下 |
[36:30] | We, the jury, | 我们陪审团 |
[36:31] | find that the defendants are guilty on all | 认为针对被告人所有47条指控 |
[36:34] | 47 counts. | 全部成立 |
[36:42] | Order in the court! | 注意法庭秩序 |
[36:44] | – Deal with that. – Order. | -爱咋咋地 -肃静 |
[36:44] | This is a travesty, Judge Mathis. | 这完全是曲解事实 马西斯法官 |
[36:47] | This is a kangaroo court. | 这是个非法法庭 |
[36:50] | And I am choosing to ignore this verdict. | 因此我选择无视这个裁决 |
[36:52] | What? You can’t ignore the verdict. | 什么 你无权无视裁决 |
[36:54] | What verdict? | 什么裁决 |
[36:56] | See, this is me ignoring the verdict. | 看 我现在就在无视裁决 |
[36:58] | For, like, | 我再说 |
[36:58] | the millionth time, | 第一百万次 |
[37:00] | my dad is super gross rich. | 我爸超有钱 |
[37:03] | Like, disgusting rich. | 有钱到人神共愤 |
[37:04] | He’ll have me out of prison in no time. | 他马上就能把我弄出监狱 |
[37:06] | Chanel, your parents abandoned you. | 香奈儿 你父母抛弃你了 |
[37:08] | They legally disowned you three weeks ago | 三周前他们已经和你解除法律关系了 |
[37:11] | and filed an amicus brief with the prosecution, | 并向检方提交了一份书面陈述及诉讼申请 |
[37:14] | stating that they think that you are a serial killer. | 并且声明 他们认为你是个连环杀手 |
[37:17] | They also want to sue you for the time | 同时还想起诉你 |
[37:18] | that you drove your Range Rover into their living room | 有一次把路虎开进了他们的客厅 |
[37:20] | because you didn’t want to walk all the way up the driveway. | 只是因为你不想走从车道到房子的那段路 |
[37:23] | It is such a long driveway. | 那条车道太长了嘛 |
[37:25] | Don’t worry, Ms. Oberlin. | 不用担心 奥伯林小姐 |
[37:26] | You ladies are not going to prison. | 你们三位不会进监狱的 |
[37:29] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
[37:30] | You’re going to an asylum. | 你们要去精神病院了 |
[37:33] | What?! | 什么 |
[37:35] | You know, you three are the worst human beings | 要知道 你们仨可是 |
[37:39] | that I have ever encountered. | 我遇到过最糟糕的人类 |
[37:41] | You have absolutely no regard for anyone but yourselves. | 你们只关心自己 对旁人毫不在意 |
[37:45] | You’re rude, entitled, | 你们粗鲁 自以为是 |
[37:47] | narcissistic, racist and insane. | 自恋 种族主义 疯癫 |
[37:50] | You elected to represent yourselves in a capital murder case, | 你们决定在一起谋杀重案中为自己辩护 |
[37:54] | despite lacking even a basic understanding of the law. | 却缺乏最基本的法律意识 |
[37:58] | And then, you-you mostly | 而且 你们在自己的庭审上 |
[38:00] | slept through your own trial. | 大部分时间都在睡觉 |
[38:02] | That’s crazy. | 太疯狂了 |
[38:03] | Your entire defense | 你们所做的所有辩护 |
[38:04] | consisted of you screaming at the jury | 就是向陪审团尖叫 |
[38:07] | that you didn’t kill anybody | 说你们谁也没杀 |
[38:08] | and then threatening to kill them if they found you guilty. | 然后威胁说要杀掉认定你们有罪的人 |
[38:11] | That is crazy behavior. | 那真是疯狂的举动 |
[38:14] | Chanel, | 香奈儿 |
[38:15] | you’re crazy! | 你疯了 |
[38:17] | Ladies, please stand. | 女士们 请起立 |
[38:19] | Stand up! | 站起来 |
[38:23] | Chanel Oberlin, Sadie Swenson, | 香奈儿·奥伯林 莎蒂·斯温森 |
[38:25] | Libby Putney… | 莉比·帕特尼 |
[38:28] | I’m sorry, I keep forgetting your real name is Libby Putney. | 抱歉 我总是忘了你的真名是莉比·帕特尼 |
[38:31] | I sentence you to life in prison at the Palmer Asylum | 鉴于你们所做的疯狂举动 |
[38:32] | to life in prison at the Palmer Asylum for the insane! | 我宣判 让你们在帕尔默精神病院度过余生 |
[38:40] | Court is adjourned. | 休庭 |
[38:41] | It was at the very moment | 在那个关键的时刻 |
[38:43] | I had an epiphany. | 我顿悟了 |
[38:45] | Maybe he had a point. | 也许他言之有理 |
[38:46] | Maybe we were sociopaths. | 也许我们以前的确反社会 |
[38:49] | Maybe we never cared about anyone other than ourselves. | 也许我们的确除了自己谁也不关心 |
[38:51] | Maybe we were crazy, | 也许我们的确疯了 |
[38:53] | but we didn’t know it | 但我们没意识到 |
[38:54] | because we made Kappa House crazy, | 是因为我们让卡帕公馆变得疯癫 |
[38:55] | surrounding ourselves with girls who had also gone crazy. | 让我们周围被一群疯妹子围绕着 |
[39:18] | And now here we were, | 现在我们到了 |
[39:20] | about to spend the rest of our lives | 余生都将和一群 |
[39:21] | trapped with a bunch of mentally unstable women | 精神不稳定的女人困在一起 |
[39:23] | totally divorced from any sense of reality | 她们已完全脱离现实 |
[39:25] | and therefore capable of anything. | 所以什么事都做得出来 |
[39:28] | From the second we set foot in that asylum, | 从我们踏入精神病院的那刻起 |
[39:30] | I knew we were gonna feel right at home. | 我就知道我们在这里会过得很自在 |
[39:33] | Asylum life suited us just fine. | 精神病院的生活很适合我们 |
[39:36] | Number Three went full lez | 三号已完全弯了 |
[39:38] | and fell in love with one of the lesbian nurses. | 她爱上了一个同性恋护士 |
[39:40] | I mean, in women’s prison, everyone’s sort of lesbian, | 我是说 在女监里 每个人都有点弯 |
[39:43] | but Number Three was really going for it. | 但三号真是全情投入 |
[39:45] | I think I’m ready to show you my ears. | 我想我准备好给你看我的耳朵了 |
[39:49] | The psychiatrist put Number Five on these meds | 精神病医生给五号服了一些药 |
[39:51] | that made her actually tolerable. | 她不再那么让我无法忍受了 |
[39:54] | Believe me, no one was more shocked than I was | 相信我 在这大千世界中 |
[39:57] | when she became my best friend in the whole wide world. | 她居然成为我最好的朋友 没人比我更震惊 |
[40:00] | I told her all my deepest, darkest secrets. | 我告诉了她我所有最阴暗的秘密 |
[40:02] | Do you want to know my biggest secret? | 你想知道我最大的秘密吗 |
[40:05] | I love it here! | 我喜欢这里 |
[40:05] | I never want to leave! | 我根本不想离开 |
[40:07] | I know! Me, too! | 我懂 我也是 |
[40:11] | I felt totally transformed, | 我觉得自己彻底变了 |
[40:13] | like this enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders. | 就像那巨大的重负终于从我身上被卸下 |
[40:16] | Inside this asylum, there was no more judgment, | 在这精神病院里 再无评头论足 |
[40:18] | no more popularity contests, | 再无人气比拼 以及社交媒体施压 |
[40:20] | no social media pressure to be the hottest or the meanest. | 去迫使谁成为最红或最刻薄的那个 |
[40:23] | And best of all, | 最好的一点是 |
[40:24] | there were no boys to stay skinny for. | 这里没有男生 再也不用保持身材了 |
[40:40] | That’s it. | 好了 |
[40:42] | The votes are in. | 投的票都在这里了 |
[40:43] | It’s unanimous. | 全票通过 |
[40:45] | Congratulations, Chanel. | 恭喜 香奈儿 |
[40:47] | You’ve been voted house president. | 你被票选为院内的会长 |
[40:51] | Thank you so much. | 非常感谢 |
[40:54] | Now, let’s all raise a Dixie cup of delicious prune wine | 现在请大家举起装有美味香梅酒的纸杯 |
[40:59] | that Number Five so lovingly brewed for us in the toilet. | 这酒是五号在厕所里好心为我们而酿的 |
[41:04] | To… Chanel. | 敬香奈儿 |
[41:07] | To Chanel. | 敬香奈儿 |