| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:09] | So… a large plant murdered Ms. Hobart, | 就是说 在你晕倒前 |
| [00:12] | and then attempted to murder you before you passed out. | 一株大型植物杀了霍巴特小姐 还想杀你 |
| [00:17] | You were then awakened moments later by Mr. Jackson here, | 后来杰克森先生把怪兽吓跑了 |
| [00:20] | who probably frightened the monster away. | 叫醒了你 |
| [00:25] | And now Ms. Hobart’s body is missing. | 现在霍巴特小姐的身体不见了 |
| [00:29] | Is that what you’d have us believe? | 你是希望我们这样认为吗 |
| [00:33] | Or it was someone dressed up as a large plant. | 或是有人扮成了一株大型植物 |
| [00:38] | Suspect can’t stick to a story. | 嫌疑人口供前后矛盾 |
| [00:41] | What– suspect? | 什么 嫌疑人 |
| [00:44] | How did I become a suspect? | 我怎么成嫌疑人了 |
| [00:46] | I was… I was locked in the bathtub. | 我当时被锁在浴缸里 |
| [00:49] | How could I have smeared a 200-foot trail | 我怎么可能在走廊地板上 |
| [00:53] | of swamp slime across the hallway, | 留下将近七十米的沼渍 |
| [00:55] | then decapitate a werewolf? | 还把狼女的头砍下来 |
| [00:57] | I mean, why would I do that? Why? | 我为什么要这么做 有什么意义 |
| [01:02] | Suspect unclear of her own motives. | 嫌疑人对自己的犯罪动机不明 |
| [01:06] | I’m just curious, | 冒昧问一下 |
| [01:07] | do you have to have graduated high school to become a detective? | 当警探需要高中毕业吗 |
| [01:10] | No, ma’am. | 不需要 女士 |
| [01:11] | I know what I saw, okay?! | 我知道自己看见了什么 |
| [01:13] | There is a killer on the loose! | 杀手仍然逍遥法外 |
| [01:16] | Chamberlain? | 张伯伦 |
| [01:17] | Chamberlain, tell them. | 张伯伦 你来说 |
| [01:20] | Well, I did hear them screaming, | 我确实听到了尖叫声 |
| [01:21] | but by the time I got down here, | 但是等我赶来的时候 |
| [01:23] | it was only Chanel #5 in the room. | 屋子里只有香奈儿五号 |
| [01:25] | That is, until Dr. Munsch walked in. | 然后蒙什博士就进来了 |
| [01:27] | Well, the Wi-Fi is down in my apartment. | 我公寓无线网坏了 |
| [01:30] | I was on a Skype call in my office. | 我当时在办公室打视频电话 |
| [01:33] | Dean Munsch. | 蒙什教务长 |
| [01:34] | Number Five is obviously crazy. | 香奈儿五号肯定是疯了 |
| [01:36] | She probably murdered Catherine herself for the attention, | 也许就是她杀了凯瑟琳来博人眼球 |
| [01:39] | because she hasn’t been touched in months. | 毕竟她已经几个月没被摸过了 |
| [01:41] | I don’t even think she’s touched herself. | 她自己估计都没怎么摸过 |
| [01:43] | Even her hand thinks she’s gross. | 连手都嫌她恶心 |
| [01:44] | The closest she’s gotten to sex is when a bookshelf fell on her. | 她最接近性爱的体验是被书架压倒 |
| [01:47] | Yeah. Number Five is just jealous | 没错 香奈儿五号就是嫉妒 |
| [01:49] | because Number Three and I got asked out | 因为我和三号都分别被 |
| [01:51] | by Dr. Brock and Dr. Cascade, and she didn’t. | 布洛克医生和加斯凯德医生约了 可她没有 |
| [01:54] | So while we were on our way to our hot double date in Bonetown, | 所以当我们准备在《骨头镇》里四人约会时 |
| [01:57] | she decided to sabotage it, | 她就决定要捣乱 |
| [01:59] | by killing a poor, defenseless, hairless creature. | 趁无毛的可怜虫不注意 把她杀死了 |
| [02:02] | Hiding the body and forcing us to hurry back to listen to | 藏好尸体后 逼我们赶回来 |
| [02:04] | the least-terrifying story anyone has ever heard. | 听她讲这个史上最不恐怖的故事 |
| [02:07] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [02:08] | I don’t think we’re ever gonna really know what happened here. | 我觉得应该永远查不清真相了 |
| [02:10] | What?! | 什么 |
| [02:11] | Sorry, sweetheart. The evidence is just inconclusive. | 抱歉 证据不够充分 |
| [02:14] | Call me if anything else comes up. | 有其他情况再打给我吧 |
| [02:17] | In the meantime, no more made-up stories that aren’t that scary. | 还有 不要再编这种无聊的鬼故事了 |
| [02:21] | I’m telling the truth. I swear. | 我说的是事实 我发誓 |
| [02:31] | Tyler, can you tell us when the growths first appeared? | 泰勒 肿瘤什么时候开始出现的 |
| [02:34] | – About two years ago. – Hold on. | -两年前吧 -等等 |
| [02:39] | Have you ever tried popping those? | 你试过挤掉它们吗 |
| [02:41] | Nope. We’ve already talked about this. | 不行 我们之前说好了 |
| [02:43] | I’m not gonna sit here while you try to demean another patient. | 我不会坐视你欺负患者的 |
| [02:45] | I am not demeaning anyone. | 我没欺负人 |
| [02:48] | I am being brash and confident, | 我只是很自信 |
| [02:50] | because I am the out-of-the-box thinker | 因为我的想法总能突破常规 |
| [02:52] | who brilliantly solved our last case | 上位病人没做摘除额叶脑叶手术 |
| [02:53] | without resorting to a full-frontal lobotomy. | 就被我出色地治好了 |
| [02:56] | Well… If I was gonna be mean, | 我要是刻薄 |
| [02:58] | I’d ask him if he kissed a toad. | 就会问他是不是亲过蛤蟆 |
| [02:59] | Or if he was a toad. | 或者问他是不是只蛤蟆 |
| [03:00] | He at least had some lineage, like a toad grandparent. | 他至少有些后代 像只蛤蟆爷爷 |
| [03:03] | Or if he rented out his pores on Airbnb | 或者问他有没有把身上的毛孔 |
| [03:05] | for hundreds of expectant female spiders to lay their eggs in. | 租给几百个育母蜘蛛用来产卵 |
| [03:08] | Okay, we get it. | 我们明白了 |
| [03:09] | You’re not being mean. | 你那不是刻薄 |
| [03:12] | Yes, um, I have tried it, but it hurts, | 我试过 但很疼 |
| [03:16] | and it doesn’t work because they’re not zits. | 而且没用 因为这不是青春痘 |
| [03:18] | I was diagnosed with neurofibromatosis type 1, | 我被诊断患有一型神经纤维瘤病 |
| [03:22] | which my doctor said it was genetic. | 医生说这病遗传 |
| [03:24] | Well, Tyler, there’s good news and bad news. | 泰勒 有个好消息 还有个坏消息 |
| [03:27] | Good news is that there’s a machine called a CO2 laser | 好消息是有种机器叫二氧化碳激光器 |
| [03:31] | that can shrink and eventually remove your tumors. | 可以缩小并最终移除你的肿瘤 |
| [03:33] | It’s completely painless. | 完全无痛 |
| [03:35] | Really? That’s-that’s great. | 真的吗 太好了 |
| [03:37] | Well, you didn’t wait for the bad news. | 还没说坏消息呢 |
| [03:38] | Yeah, the bad news is they’re-they’re cumbersome | 坏消息是机器非常笨重 |
| [03:40] | and they’re super expensive and we don’t have one. | 而且非常贵 我们这里没有 |
| [03:42] | I don’t have any money. | 我没钱 |
| [03:43] | The only money I make is writing Encyclopedia Brown fan fiction. | 我只靠写《布朗百科》同人小说赚钱 |
| [03:46] | I used to love Encyclopedia Brown. | 我以前很爱看《布朗百科》 |
| [03:48] | Yeah, you would. | 我猜也是 |
| [03:49] | Look at me. | 看看我 |
| [03:51] | Look at me. I’m a monster. | 看看我 我是个怪物 |
| [03:53] | I don’t have anywhere else to go. | 我没有别的地方去了 |
| [03:55] | My life is a complete mess. | 我的人生一团糟 |
| [03:57] | I’m desperate. | 我都绝望了 |
| [03:58] | So can you please, please, just help me? | 拜托你们帮帮我吧 |
| [04:08] | Zayday. | 扎丹 |
| [04:13] | You don’t happen to know | 你知道城里 |
| [04:14] | if there are any new Guinean restaurants in town, do you? | 有新开的几内亚餐厅吗 |
| [04:17] | No. | 不知道 |
| [04:18] | I didn’t even know that was a thing. | 我都不知道还有这种餐厅 |
| [04:20] | Yeah. I just have a taste for it. | 我只是突然馋了 |
| [04:22] | As you were. | 你忙吧 |
| [04:29] | Chamberlain, right? | 张伯伦 对吗 |
| [04:31] | Could I talk to you for a minute? | 我能和你聊几句吗 |
| [04:32] | Okay, so you changed your mind; you want to go out with me. | 你改主意了 想跟我约会了 |
| [04:35] | What? No. | 什么 才不是 |
| [04:37] | It’s Munsch. | 是关于蒙什 |
| [04:39] | There’s something bugging me about her, | 她有些事我总是想不通 |
| [04:40] | and there’s nobody else I can talk to about it. | 但又没办法和其他人说 |
| [04:42] | I’m suspicious. | 我满腹疑惑 |
| [04:43] | I mean, why would she want to run a hospital in the first place? | 她起初为什么要开这家医院 |
| [04:46] | I don’t know, to help people? | 不知道 乐于助人 |
| [04:48] | Yeah, but she also was the dean of a university. | 可她之前是大学教务长 |
| [04:50] | Why would she start a hospital to cure only a handful of people | 为什么要开一家专治没几个人得的 |
| [04:53] | with really obscure diseases? | 罕见病医院呢 |
| [04:55] | I mean, she had to pour every penny she had into this place. | 她得砸入全部家当才行 |
| [04:58] | Who does that? | 谁会这么干 |
| [05:00] | She is rich. | 她很有钱 |
| [05:01] | And why would she hire me and the Chanels? | 那她为什么要雇我和香奈儿们 |
| [05:03] | The Chanels are idiots, and she hates them. | 香奈儿们是笨蛋 她也讨厌她们 |
| [05:05] | Like really hates them, hates them. | 非常讨厌她们 |
| [05:08] | I believe you got a theory. I do. | 我相信你已经有答案了 |
| [05:10] | There’s something about the story | 那天五号说的故事 |
| [05:11] | that Number Five was telling the other day. | 有些不对劲 |
| [05:13] | I mean, she said the swamp monster that killed Catherine | 她说杀死凯瑟琳的沼泽怪物 |
| [05:16] | was about to kill her, and then you scared it off. | 正准备杀她 后来却被你吓跑了 |
| [05:19] | And Dean Munsch was just upstairs | 这段期间蒙什教务长 |
| [05:20] | in her office the whole time? | 一直都在楼上的办公室吗 |
| [05:23] | After hours? | 下班了还不走 |
| [05:24] | You said it yourself. | 你自己说的 |
| [05:25] | Dean Munsch said good night to both you | 蒙什教务长在凯瑟琳被杀前很久 |
| [05:27] | and Chanel Number Five long before Catherine was murdered. | 就对你和香奈儿五号说了晚安 |
| [05:31] | – So what, you think she’s in on it? – She has to be. | -你是说她在搞鬼吗 -一定是 |
| [05:33] | It’s the only thing that makes any of this make sense. | 只有这样一切才讲得通 |
| [05:36] | I think she’s out for revenge. | 我觉得她是来复仇的 |
| [05:37] | I think she gathered all the Chanels here in one place, | 我觉得她是想把香奈儿都召集起来 |
| [05:41] | so she could knock them off one by one. | 然后逐个除掉 |
| [05:44] | It’s like Ten Little Indians. | 就像《无人生还》一样 |
| [05:45] | – Whoa, what? You can’t say that. – Ten Little Indians. | -什么 别这么说 -《无人生还》 |
| [05:48] | Agatha Christie novel. | 阿加莎·克里斯蒂的小说 |
| [05:49] | – That still doesn’t make it okay. – Look, okay. | -还是没好到哪去 -好了 听着 |
| [05:50] | That’s not the point, the point is, | 这都不是重点 重点是 |
| [05:52] | we have to get to the bottom of this… together. | 我们要合力查出事情的真相 |
| [05:55] | And figure out exactly what Dean Munsch is after. | 从而查出蒙什教务长的真正目的 |
| [05:58] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [06:00] | I’m in. | 我加入 |
| [06:01] | It’s not a date. | 这不是约会 |
| [06:03] | It’s not a date. | 不是约会 |
| [06:06] | I’m so happy we rescheduled our May-December date. | 真开心我们这对老少恋又能约会了 |
| [06:11] | How are you gonna eat all that popcorn? | 你能吃得了这么多爆米花吗 |
| [06:13] | I’m not gonna eat any of it. | 我一口都不吃 |
| [06:15] | You see, I buy the biggest tub of popcorn they sell | 我买了柜台中最大的一桶 |
| [06:17] | and have them cover it in butter, | 并且要裹上黄油 |
| [06:18] | and then I secretly drop handfuls of it | 在看电影的时候 |
| [06:19] | on the floor as the movie plays. | 偷偷地撒一把在地上 |
| [06:21] | I don’t understand. Why? | 为什么要这么做 |
| [06:23] | To make the fatties feel bad about themselves. | 为了让胖子们感到惭愧 |
| [06:25] | Then they feel terrible and eat more. | 他们会很难过 然后就吃得更多 |
| [06:27] | It’s, like, my favorite hobby. | 这可是我的一大嗜好 |
| [06:29] | You are the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. | 你是我见过的最不可思议的女人 |
| [06:31] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [06:33] | I’m having a really nice time. | 我很开心 |
| [06:49] | Sorry. I’m sorry. | 抱歉 对不起 |
| [06:51] | Are you kidding? | 开什么玩笑 |
| [06:53] | I haven’t been manhandled in, like, two years. | 我都两年没被男人摸过了 |
| [06:56] | Grope at will, Doctor. | 随便摸 医生 |
| [07:11] | – Sorry, sorry, sir. – You could have just asked. | -抱歉 -想吃就管我要啊 |
| [07:13] | I know. Here. Sorry. | 知道了 给你 抱歉 |
| [07:16] | Oh, my God… wait. | 天啊 等等 |
| [07:18] | Are you imitating the guy in the movie | 你这是在模仿电影中 |
| [07:19] | with the out-of-control hand? | 那个无法控制自己手的男人吗 |
| [07:21] | – Yeah. – That is amazing. | -是啊 -太棒了 |
| [07:24] | You know, I never thought I could put my heart | 失去了查德·雷德威尔以后 |
| [07:26] | back together again after losing Chad Radwell, | 我以为破碎的心再也无法复原 |
| [07:28] | but after being with you tonight and your, | 但今晚跟你在一起 |
| [07:30] | your amazing hand and your hot mouth, | 你的手这么酷 还这么会说 |
| [07:33] | I know I’m finally ready to move on. | 我知道自己终于可以抛下过去了 |
| [07:43] | Why are you so sad? | 你怎么这么伤心 |
| [07:47] | My first boyfriend’s name was Clarence. | 我第一任男朋友叫克拉伦斯 |
| [07:51] | He had hair like Richard Grieco and he played lacrosse, | 他有着理查德·格里克的发型 会打曲棍球 |
| [07:53] | but… he was also imaginary. | 但他也过于完美了 |
| [07:56] | We dated all throughout high school. | 我们整个高中都在一起 |
| [07:59] | And the day before graduation, he broke up with me. | 就在毕业前的一天 他跟我分手了 |
| [08:02] | I thought things would be different in college. | 我以为到了大学会有所改观 |
| [08:05] | I mean, especially when I joined Kappa and became a Chanel, | 尤其是我加入了卡帕 成为了香奈儿 |
| [08:08] | but then Chanel told everybody that I had teeth in my vagina, | 但香奈儿跟所有人说我阴道长牙 |
| [08:10] | so it’s basically impossible for me to get a date. | 所以根本没人愿意和我约会 |
| [08:13] | But I knew this would be different. | 但我知道这会有所不同 |
| [08:15] | We’re supposed to be grownups now. | 我们本该成熟了 |
| [08:17] | But it’s exactly the same. | 但其实根本没变 |
| [08:19] | I mean, it’s only two weeks, and already Chanel | 不过两周而已 香奈儿和香奈儿三号 |
| [08:21] | and Number Three have hot doctor boyfriends | 已经勾搭到性感的医生当男朋友了 |
| [08:23] | and no one will even look at me. | 而我 甚至没人愿意看我一眼 |
| [08:25] | I look like I’m wrapped in infected bubble wrap. | 我看着像被感染的气泡膜包起来一样 |
| [08:30] | Shouldn’t be complaining to you. | 我不该对你抱怨的 |
| [08:31] | Your life is so much worse. | 你比我惨多了 |
| [08:34] | No, I don’t mind. | 没关系 |
| [08:35] | I can’t even tell you how long it’s been | 我都忘了有多久 |
| [08:37] | since a girl even talked to me. | 没跟妹子说过话了 |
| [08:39] | Do you want to see what I used to look before all this? | 你想看看我生病前的样子吗 |
| [08:42] | You were hot! | 好帅啊 |
| [08:44] | Like, super hot. | 太帅了 |
| [08:47] | I just don’t know how I’m gonna find the money for this laser. | 我不知道能从哪儿弄来做激光治疗的钱 |
| [08:59] | I’m gonna find the money for that laser. | 我会筹到治疗的费用 |
| [09:00] | I don’t know how, but I’m gonna find it. | 虽然我还不知道该怎么办 但我会解决的 |
| [10:14] | Chad? | 查德 |
| [10:15] | What the hell?! | 搞什么鬼 |
| [10:17] | Oh, the look on your face. | 你表情太逗了 |
| [10:18] | God, I knew I should have strapped a GoPro to my Red Devil mask. | 我真该在红魔面具上装个摄像头 |
| [10:24] | What are you doing with your hand? | 你伸手干嘛 |
| [10:27] | It wasn’t funny when you snuck into | 你半夜潜入精神病院 |
| [10:29] | the insane asylum in the middle of the night | 在我的床上吓唬我 |
| [10:30] | and scared me in my bed, and it’s not funny now. | 一点都不好笑 现在也一样 |
| [10:33] | I thought it was pretty funny. | 我觉得挺好笑 |
| [10:34] | Maybe not… Happy Gilmore funny. | 可能没有《球场古惑仔》好笑 |
| [10:35] | Definitely Big Daddy funny. | 但绝对跟《老爸向前冲》差不多 |
| [10:36] | What is that screaming? | 这尖叫是怎么回事 |
| [10:38] | That’s my good buddy Randall. | 我的好兄弟兰德尔 |
| [10:40] | He needs medical attention. | 他需要治疗 |
| [10:42] | Think he’s gonna die. | 他可能要死了 |
| [10:48] | I want you back. | 回到我身边吧 |
| [10:57] | So we’re on our annual hunting trip | 我们和圣刚丁顿国际秩序社团 |
| [10:59] | with the International Order of Saint Guntington. | 参加了年度狩猎之旅 |
| [11:01] | It’s an elite secret society of hunters | 那是个秘密的精英猎人社团 |
| [11:03] | that dates back to the Hapsburger Dynasty. | 可追溯到哈普斯汉堡王朝 |
| [11:06] | Okay, did anything odd happen on the trip? | 途中发生了什么怪事吗 |
| [11:08] | Was he bit by a tick or hit in the head? | 他被蜱虫咬了 还是头被撞了 |
| [11:12] | That is an excellent question, C. | 这问题非常好 小香 |
| [11:16] | Are you guys boning? | 你们搞上了吗 |
| [11:17] | Went to the movies last night, I grabbed her boob. | 我们昨晚看了电影 我抓了她右胸 |
| [11:21] | One boob? I thought doctors had game. | 只有右胸 我还以为医生都有两把刷子呢 |
| [11:23] | – Why don’t you try two handfuls… – Okay, okay. | -你怎么两手抓… -好了 |
| [11:24] | You can fight over Chanel’s breasts later. | 你俩晚点再为香奈儿的胸吵架 |
| [11:26] | Though it would be sort of like going to war over the Falklands. | 虽然有点像争夺福兰克群岛一样 |
| [11:30] | Lot of work for a relatively small and insignificant amount of land. | 为了无关紧要的小块土地争夺不休 |
| [11:34] | Anyway, please continue. | 总之 请继续 |
| [11:37] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [11:37] | So we’re on our annual quail swim with the Ordensbrothers RBG, | 我们正跟奥丁兄弟会的RBG 比尔·帕塞尔斯 |
| [11:41] | Bill Parcells, Ted Danson. | 还有泰德·丹森进行年度狩猎鹌鹑活动 |
| [11:43] | Giant covey of quail take off right in front of us, | 突然一大群鹌鹑在我们面前飞起来 |
| [11:46] | we lower our guns to take ’em out. | 我们拿枪瞄准 想打中它们 |
| [11:47] | Ginsberg… she bagged two, two or three. | 金斯伯格 她打中了两三只 |
| [11:49] | Hell of a shot. All of a sudden, | 打得真漂亮 首轮射击结束后 |
| [11:51] | a couple stragglers take off after the first volley of shots, | 突然又有几只鹌鹑飞了起来 |
| [11:54] | Randal lowers his gun to take ’em out, | 兰德尔正在瞄准 |
| [11:56] | when all of a sudden, Liz Cheney pops out. | 利兹·切尼突然出现了 |
| [11:58] | And I think she was, like, peeing. | 她好像在尿尿 |
| [11:59] | Anyway, Randal lowers his shotgun, | 总之兰德尔瞄准后 |
| [12:01] | shoots her right in the face. | 对着她的脸就是一枪 |
| [12:03] | Hope she was okay. | 希望她没事 |
| [12:05] | No, I don’t. She’s awful. | 我才不希望 她太贱了 |
| [12:07] | Your friend has the Jumping Frenchman of Maine disease. | 你朋友患有惊吓反射紊乱症 |
| [12:11] | Watch this. | 看好了 |
| [12:13] | We don’t have a full understanding | 从生理角度来说 |
| [12:14] | of what causes it physiologically, | 我们仍未完全了解病因 |
| [12:15] | but we do know sufferers of this disorder | 但此类紊乱患者 |
| [12:17] | have an exaggerated startle reflex. | 会有夸张的惊吓反射 |
| [12:20] | Like that. | 就像这样 |
| [12:21] | You know, any slight little stimuli sort of sets him off. | 任何微小的刺激都会让他发作 |
| [12:26] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [12:27] | My guess is that | 我觉得 |
| [12:28] | shooting liz Cheney in the face probably set this off. | 射中利兹·切尼的脸可能是诱因 |
| [12:31] | Wow. Dr. Holt, you are… incredible. | 霍尔特医生 你太厉害了 |
| [12:34] | Yeah? | 是吗 |
| [12:36] | Did I tell you I started a band? | 我跟你说我组乐队了吗 |
| [12:38] | I’m the lead singer. Front man. It’s called Gold-Plated Nutsack. | 我是主唱 乐队叫做镀金蛋 |
| [12:44] | Please, please, somebody help me. | 求求你们了 快救救我 |
| [12:47] | I feel like I’m gonna die from screaming. | 我感觉我要尖叫致死了 |
| [12:49] | I’m sorry, Randal, but there… there’s no known cure. | 抱歉 兰德尔 可这病目前没得治 |
| [12:51] | But that is the point of this hospital– | 但这正是这所医院的意义 |
| [12:55] | to cure the heretofore incurable. | 治愈曾经的不治之症 |
| [12:59] | So, don’t worry, Randal. | 所以别担心 兰德尔 |
| [13:00] | We are going to help you out. | 我们会帮你的 |
| [13:02] | You have my word. | 我保证 |
| [13:05] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [13:06] | Nutsack. | 蛋蛋 |
| [13:12] | How do you feel about revenge sex? | 来一发复仇炮怎么样 |
| [13:14] | Hello, America. | 美国你好 |
| [13:15] | My name is Chanel #5. | 我是香奈儿五号 |
| [13:17] | And I’m here to ask you for help. | 我需要你的帮助 |
| [13:21] | This is my friend Tyler. | 这是我的朋友泰勒 |
| [13:23] | He used to be hot, | 他原来很帅 |
| [13:25] | and now he’s covered in weird skin bubbles. | 可现在他全身都是奇怪的包 |
| [13:28] | Hi. I’m Tyler, and two years ago, I was diagnosed with… | 我是泰勒 两年前我被诊断出… |
| [13:32] | Two years ago, he was diagnosed with neurofibromatosis type 1. | 两年前他被诊断患有一型神经纤维瘤病 |
| [13:36] | It’s a crippling disease that turned this hot guy | 这个严重的疾病 将这位帅小伙 |
| [13:38] | into a living, breathing monster. | 变成了行尸走肉 |
| [13:42] | Won’t you please help him afford the expensive laser | 恳请你资助他进行昂贵的激光治疗 |
| [13:46] | – that could end his torment? – Okay, I can’t watch this anymore. | -让他能够摆脱困境 -我看不下去了 |
| [13:48] | Number Five, that is the worst fund-raising video ever made. | 五号 这真是史上最烂的筹款视频 |
| [13:53] | What are you talking about? It’s really emotional. | 说什么呢 这很煽情啊 |
| [13:55] | – It’s really not. – Okay, Number Five, | -真心不煽情 -五号 |
| [13:58] | you’re going about this all wrong. | 你这思路完全是错的 |
| [14:01] | But you want Tyler to get those laser treatments | 你是想让泰勒做激光治疗 |
| [14:03] | so he’ll be hot again and you can date him, right? | 这样他就能帅回去 你们就能约会了吧 |
| [14:06] | Well, Number Five, once he’s hot again, | 五号 一旦他帅回去 |
| [14:09] | he’s not gonna want to date you. | 他才不会想跟你约会呢 |
| [14:11] | Chanel’s right. | 香奈儿说得没错 |
| [14:12] | The only shot you have with Tyler is if he stays all warty. | 只有泰勒浑身是包 你们才有戏 |
| [14:14] | Look, if you want to be with Tyler, you need to go for him now, | 如果你想和泰勒在一起 现在就得去陪着他 |
| [14:17] | be the girl that stood by him through his tumoriest days. | 做那个陪他渡过”瘤”关的女孩 |
| [14:20] | Then when he’s hot again, | 等他再变帅时 |
| [14:21] | he’ll feel obligated to stay with you and never leave. | 他就会觉得必须要和你在一起 永不离开 |
| [14:29] | All right, what we got? | 查到什么了 |
| [14:31] | Someone must have hired someone | 肯定有人雇了 |
| [14:32] | from one of those online reputation redemption companies | 某个在线挽回声誉公司的人 |
| [14:35] | to scrub clean any file on this hospital. | 抹去了这家医院所有的记录 |
| [14:38] | And all that comes up on Google is stuff from when it first opened | 谷歌上搜到的只有医院创立时间 |
| [14:41] | and an article about Dean Munsch buying the place. | 还有一篇关于蒙什教务长买下这里的文章 |
| [14:44] | And a whole chunk from when it was just a normal hospital | 在80年代 这里还只是普通医院时的 |
| [14:46] | in the 1980s is missing. | 所有资料都不见了 |
| [14:48] | Look, what we need to do is go down to the local library | 我们得去本地图书馆 |
| [14:50] | and just search the microfiche files. | 搜索微缩文件 |
| [14:52] | You can’t scrub those. | 那些是无法抹除的 |
| [14:53] | Oh, great idea. Let’s go. | 好主意 我们走 |
| [14:55] | No, Zayday doesn’t go to the library. | 扎丹不用去图书馆 |
| [14:57] | Chamberlain brings the library to Zayday. | 张伯伦把图书馆送到扎丹面前 |
| [14:59] | I went this afternoon. | 我下午去过了 |
| [15:01] | Libraries are very “Screepy” places. | 图书馆非常”可怕诡异” |
| [15:04] | Okay, but don’t we need a special machine | 但是我们需要一个特殊仪器 |
| [15:07] | to be able to look at these things? | 才能看这些东西吧 |
| [15:09] | All set up downstairs in the archives room. | 楼下的档案室一切就绪 |
| [15:17] | I feel like I’m in one of those movies from the 1970s. | 感觉像是身临70年代的电影 |
| [15:26] | This is from November 1, 1986. | 日期是1986年11月1日 |
| [15:30] | The entire hospital staff was murdered on Halloween night. | 万圣节之夜 医院全体员工被害 |
| [15:40] | Hey, what are you guys dressed as? | 你们扮的是什么 |
| [15:42] | I am NASA’s Voyager 2 spacecraft. | 我是美国宇航局的旅行者二号航天器 |
| [15:44] | And I’m Uranus. | 我是天王星 |
| [15:47] | On January 24, NASA’s Voyager 2 | 1月24日 美国宇航局的旅行者二号 |
| [15:51] | made its first encounter with Uranus. | 首次与天王星相遇 |
| [15:54] | And tonight Dr. Mike and I are gonna | 今晚麦克医生和我准备 |
| [15:56] | recreate the encounter here on Earth. | 让这一幕在地球上演 |
| [15:59] | Amazing! | 太棒了 |
| [16:01] | Hey, do you guys want to go do some cocaine with us? | 你们想跟我们一起嗑可卡因吗 |
| [16:04] | Not while “Mad About You” is playing. | 我们得先看《为你疯狂》 |
| [16:08] | Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this. | 或许我不该嗑药的 |
| [16:10] | I am still on call. | 我还当值呢 |
| [16:27] | Leave me alone! | 别杀我 |
| [16:37] | That mask looks familiar. | 那面具很眼熟 |
| [16:39] | No. It can’t be. | 不可能 |
| [16:41] | No. No one knows. I didn’t tell anybody. | 没人知道 我谁都没说 |
| [16:44] | I didn’t tell anybody. | 我谁都没说 |
| [16:47] | Hey! What do you want?! | 你想干什么 |
| [16:49] | Who are you?! | 你是谁 |
| [17:16] | Oh, my God! | 天啊 |
| [17:50] | No one was arrested. | 没人被逮捕归案 |
| [17:51] | They never found out who did it. | 警方至今没找到凶手 |
| [17:58] | What have you two been doing? | 你们来这里做什么 |
| [18:01] | Nothing? | 没什么 |
| [18:02] | Are you feeling okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [18:04] | I’m gonna be feeling great in about 15 minutes. | 再过一刻钟 我就会感觉特别棒 |
| [18:09] | You live with the Chanels, right? | 你和香奈儿们住在一起 对吧 |
| [18:11] | That’s right. | 是的 |
| [18:13] | Would you mind providing detailed information as to their schedules? | 你能告诉我她们的详细日程吗 |
| [18:17] | Like where they are at certain times of the day, | 比如她们一天中某个时刻在哪里 |
| [18:20] | when they’re most likely to be alone. | 她们什么时候最可能是独自一人 |
| [18:23] | Why would you need to know that? | 你为什么要知道这些 |
| [18:25] | If I know where the Chanels are at any given time, | 如果我能知道香奈儿们某个时刻在哪里 |
| [18:26] | I can make sure they can handle the workload they’ve been given, | 我就能确保她们能完成被分配的工作量 |
| [18:29] | considering they’re idiots who aren’t doctors. | 考虑到她们是没当上医生的白痴 |
| [18:31] | Well, in that case, you’d need to want | 如果是这样 那你也要 |
| [18:32] | to know the same information about me, wouldn’t you? | 知道我的信息吧 |
| [18:34] | Uh… yeah. Right. | 是的 |
| [18:39] | Way you just said that made it seem like | 可你刚刚说的话听上去 |
| [18:40] | you only want intels on the Chanels. | 好像只想要香奈儿们的信息 |
| [18:43] | Well, what if I did? | 是又怎样 |
| [18:46] | That would mean your explanation was a lie, | 这就意味着你的解释是个谎言 |
| [18:48] | and I’d have a real problem with helping you. | 我也不会帮你了 |
| [18:50] | Fine. If you can’t help me, I’ll find someone who can. | 你不帮我 我还可以找别人 |
| [18:57] | Pick up my supplements. | 把我的保健品捡起来 |
| [19:07] | Morning. | 早 |
| [19:14] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
| [19:16] | Uh, showering? | 洗澡啊 |
| [19:18] | My third of the day. | 今天第三次了 |
| [19:19] | Like to stay extra fresh just in case emergency sex pops up. | 洗得香喷喷以备不时的性需求 |
| [19:22] | This is an employee locker room. | 这里是员工室 |
| [19:26] | Ah. Look, I get it. | 我懂了 |
| [19:27] | Standing in here with me… | 跟浑身涂满香皂的我 |
| [19:31] | all naked, sudsed up. | 站在一起时 |
| [19:34] | You’re thinking to yourself, | 你肯定会想 |
| [19:35] | “Wow! That is the last climber to summit Mount Chanel. | “这就是上个征服了香奈儿的男人 |
| [19:39] | How am I supposed to compete with that?” | 我怎么能和他比啊” |
| [19:41] | Look, Chad, I’m a surgeon– a brilliant one. | 查德 我是位天才外科医生 |
| [19:46] | You check off two boxes on the dateable guy checklist: | 你具备值得约会的男人清单里面的两点[箱子] |
| [19:49] | handsome and rich. | 英俊和有钱 |
| [19:50] | And guess what, I check those, too. | 知道吗 我也具备 |
| [19:54] | Okay, first of all, I have never heard of that checklist, | 第一 我从来没听说过那清单 |
| [19:56] | so I call bull crap on that existing. | 所以我觉得那狗屁不存在 |
| [19:58] | Oh, it exists. | 确实存在 |
| [20:00] | Second, did you just call me handsome? | 第二 你刚刚是夸我帅吗 |
| [20:02] | ‘Cause, given the circumstances, that’s a little weird. | 鉴于当前情形 这有点奇怪 |
| [20:05] | Third… | 第三 |
| [20:07] | I’m glad you brought up boxes. | 很高兴你提到了箱子[私处] |
| [20:09] | Isn’t that what this is all about– Chanel’s box? | 我们不正是在说香奈儿的妹妹吗 |
| [20:13] | Well, guess what, | 知道吗 |
| [20:14] | Dr. I Got Lucky guessing What’s Wrong With Chad’s Good Buddy Randal. | 猜到查德好兄弟兰德尔病因的狗屎运医生 |
| [20:20] | The only dude in the shower | 我们之间 |
| [20:20] | that’s ever gonna check Chanel’s box is me. | 只有我可以干香奈儿 |
| [20:24] | I don’t know if I could stand for that, Chad. | 这我可不一定能接受 查德 |
| [20:28] | Well, before this gets any more homoerotic… | 在事情变得基情满满之前… |
| [20:30] | I don’t think that’s possible. | 应该不会 |
| [20:32] | I’m gonna do something I hoped I wouldn’t have to do. | 我也不想用这样的方式 |
| [20:35] | We’re gonna settle this in the ancient Radwell tradition. | 我们以古老的雷德威尔家族传统来解决此事 |
| [20:38] | You and me, local YMCA, squash. | 咱俩在当地基督教青年会打场壁球 |
| [20:42] | First to 11. | 11分制 |
| [20:43] | Best out of three, winner gets Chanel. | 三局两胜 胜者赢得香奈儿 |
| [20:45] | That is awful and misogynistic to use a girl | 把女生当做比赛获胜的奖品 |
| [20:48] | as a prize for a sporting event. | 既恶心 又不尊重女性 |
| [20:52] | But Chanel’s worth it. | 但香奈儿值得我这么做 |
| [20:55] | I’m in. | 接受挑战 |
| [21:00] | Think our wieners just touched accidentally. | 我们的老二好像不小心碰到了 |
| [21:02] | I know they think I’m crazy | 我知道他们都认为我疯了 |
| [21:03] | because I tend to respond to everything | 因为我对每件事的反应 |
| [21:04] | with the same extreme level of intensity, | 都特别神经质 |
| [21:06] | but it was real. | 但我没说谎 |
| [21:08] | I was attacked. | 我被袭击了 |
| [21:10] | And I didn’t kill Werewolf Girl. | 我没有杀狼女 |
| [21:12] | You know, I’m actually kind of an amateur detective, | 我写了这么多《布朗百科》同人小说 |
| [21:14] | ’cause all the Encyclopedia Brown fan fiction I write. | 所以也算是个业余侦探 |
| [21:17] | What if I helped you find proof? | 我来帮你找证据怎么样 |
| [21:18] | And you will not even have to leave one quarter on the gas can. | 你都不用在汽油桶上放25美分 |
| [21:25] | I don’t understand. | 我不懂这个梗 |
| [21:27] | It’s an Encyclopedia Brown joke. | 这是《布朗百科》上的笑话 |
| [21:29] | Yeah. I basically have zero personality. | 其实我没什么个性 |
| [21:34] | I like your personality. | 我欣赏你的性格 |
| [21:36] | You like his personality? | 你欣赏他的性格 |
| [21:38] | And here we thought you were just into guys who look like… | 我们还以为你喜欢看上去 |
| [21:42] | the inside of a hemorrhoid-infested butt. | 像是痔疮长脸上的家伙呢 |
| [21:46] | Dude, he looks like | 哇哦 他看起来像 |
| [21:47] | bubble wrap with a… with a staph infection. | 感染了葡萄球菌的泡泡纸 |
| [21:50] | No, wait. I have a better one. | 等等 我想到个更好笑的 |
| [21:51] | He looks like one of those… | 他看起来像… |
| [21:56] | You cannot speak to him this way! | 不许你们这样说他 |
| [21:58] | He is a beautiful soul, | 他有美丽的灵魂 |
| [22:00] | and I do not have teeth in my vagina! | 而且我的阴道里没有长牙 |
| [22:09] | I’m… sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [22:11] | Sometimes I tend to overreact a little bit | 自从我停药之后 |
| [22:13] | since I stopped taking my meds. | 偶尔会有点过激反应 |
| [22:19] | Can I help you? | 有什么能帮你的吗 |
| [22:22] | Actually, you can. | 就有 |
| [22:23] | Why did you have the online history of this hospital scrubbed? | 你为什么把网上的本院历史都删除了 |
| [22:27] | What’s this all about? | 怎么了吗 |
| [22:27] | On October 31, 1986, | 1986年10月31日 |
| [22:30] | there was a mass murder in this hospital, | 这家医院发生了大屠杀 |
| [22:32] | and all the evidence that was left behind was green slime. | 凶手留下的唯一证据就是绿色粘液 |
| [22:35] | That same green slime was there | 和香奈儿五号遇袭那晚 |
| [22:37] | the night that Chanel #5 was attacked, | 看到的绿色粘液一样 |
| [22:38] | and you just happened to be there. | 而你又碰巧在 |
| [22:41] | So what is your theory? | 所以你的推断是什么 |
| [22:42] | You attacked Chanel #5. | 是你攻击了香奈儿五号 |
| [22:45] | Or you had someone do it. | 或是你找人干的 |
| [22:46] | Me, Chanel, Number Three, Number Five– | 我 香奈儿 三号 五号… |
| [22:48] | we’re your loose ends. | 我们都是你的后患 |
| [22:49] | You gathered us all here in one place | 你把我们全部聚集在一起 |
| [22:51] | so you could knock us off one by one. | 方便你一个个地把我们做掉 |
| [23:01] | I could really use a friend right now. | 我现在真的很需要朋友 |
| [23:04] | Just someone to talk to. | 可以让我倾诉的人 |
| [23:06] | Just sit and listen. | 请坐下 听我说 |
| [23:15] | What I’m gonna tell you is in the strictest of confidence. = = | 我接下来说的事要绝对保密 |
| [23:19] | Is that understood? | 明白吗 |
| [23:25] | I’m not trying to murder anyone. | 我并没有要谋杀任何人 |
| [23:28] | I’m trying to save someone’s life. | 我是想拯救某人的生命 |
| [23:32] | Mine. | 我自己的 |
| [23:35] | The headaches started about eight months ago. | 八个月前我开始有头痛症状 |
| [23:38] | Just blistering headaches. | 只是剧烈头痛 |
| [23:41] | At first, I thought it was the stress | 起先我以为是新书巡回宣传 |
| [23:43] | and excitement of my book tour. | 带来的压力和兴奋造成 |
| [23:45] | Then the searing joint pain | 接着关节开始剧痛 |
| [23:47] | and the shivering– I-I would freeze all night | 还有打颤…我一整晚浑身发冷 |
| [23:50] | and wake up in a pool of sweat. | 醒来时又满身大汗 |
| [23:55] | And then my neighbor… | 后来我的邻居 |
| [24:00] | asked me why I was walking so weird. | 问我为什么走路姿势怪异 |
| [24:02] | It was subtle at first, but then I noticed it, too. | 一开始很轻微 但后来我自己也注意到了 |
| [24:06] | My gait has changed. | 我的步态改变了 |
| [24:09] | I-I’ve been to doctors | 我求助过医生 |
| [24:12] | and specialists. | 以及专家 |
| [24:14] | They just… | 他们 |
| [24:17] | they just don’t know what it is. | 他们查不出是什么病 |
| [24:19] | In fact, they don’t think it’s anything. | 实际上 他们不认为这是什么病 |
| [24:21] | But-but I know it’s something. I… | 但我知道有问题 我… |
| [24:25] | I just don’t think I have very long. | 我感觉我时日不多了 |
| [24:27] | Look, I-I didn’t start this hospital | 其实我创办这家医院 |
| [24:29] | because I give a rat’s ass | 不是因为我对 |
| [24:30] | about the American health care system. | 国家的医疗体系有半点关心 |
| [24:32] | I started it to find out what this disease was | 我是为了赶在被病魔夺走生命前 |
| [24:36] | before it kills me. | 查出是什么病 |
| [24:37] | I don’t think… | 我不认为 |
| [24:39] | Dean Munsch, I’m so sorry. | 蒙什教务长 非常抱歉 |
| [24:41] | Well, you know, the one thing to take into consideration is | 你知道的 你唯一需要考虑的就是 |
| [24:44] | that you lived a long, productive life. | 你已经拥有一段丰富多彩的人生 |
| [24:50] | Please, just help me. | 拜托 就帮帮我 |
| [24:51] | Zayday, help me. | 扎丹 帮帮我 |
| [24:54] | Please help find the cure. Please. | 请帮忙找到治疗方法 拜托了 |
| [26:31] | What the hell are you? | 你到底是什么人 |
| [26:33] | What’s going on? | 发生什么事了 |
| [26:35] | Call the police! | 快报警 |
| [26:36] | No, don’t call the police; they’re morons. | 不 别报警 他们就是群白痴 |
| [26:38] | Oh, my God, are you okay? | 我的上帝啊 你还好吗 |
| [26:39] | Number Five wasn’t lying. | 五号没有说谎 |
| [26:41] | She was attacked, by this thing | 她确实被这家伙袭击了 |
| [26:43] | that I think is responsible for all those murders here | 我觉得三十年前这里发生的所有凶案 |
| [26:46] | 30 years ago! | 都是他干的 |
| [26:51] | Oh, come on! | 拜托 |
| [26:53] | Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. | 你一定是在逗我 |
| [26:58] | From now on, when someone has just fought off the killer | 从现在开始 要是有人打倒了这个凶手 |
| [27:01] | and they’re about to reach down and pull off the mask | 而且马上就要伸手扯下他的面具 |
| [27:03] | and find out who it is, not the time to distract them | 看清真面目时 别用一堆问题 |
| [27:08] | with a bunch of questions! | 分散人家的注意力 |
| [27:10] | Oh, I was so close! | 我就差那么一点 |
| [27:19] | As it turns out, | 结果表明 |
| [27:19] | Jumping Frenchman of Maine Disease | 惊吓反射紊乱症 |
| [27:21] | is one of the more treatable rare disorders we encounter, | 是我们遇到的罕见疾病中比较容易治疗的一种 |
| [27:24] | so you’ll be happy to know your friend is responding very well. | 所以你会很高兴知道你朋友对治疗的反应不错 |
| [27:27] | The key… | 关键 |
| [27:29] | The key is removing stimuli through sensory deprivation | 关键在于通过感官剥夺移除外部刺激 |
| [27:32] | to calm down the neurotransmitters. | 以此来使神经递质镇静下来 |
| [27:34] | Now, we provided an environment for Randal | 现在 我们为兰德尔提供了一个 |
| [27:36] | where nothing will startle him. | 不会受任何事物刺激的环境 |
| [27:40] | What are you talking about? He’s still screaming. | 你在说什么 他还在尖叫啊 |
| [27:42] | Perhaps I-I whipped the drapes too fast. | 大概是我窗帘拉得太快了 |
| [27:45] | Maybe next time I should try it slower, right? | 下次我也许应该动作慢点 好吗 |
| [27:48] | Randal? | 兰德尔 |
| [27:50] | Randy? Use the towel. | 兰迪 用毛巾 |
| [27:52] | Try the bucket, Randal. | 试试那个水桶 兰德尔 |
| [27:53] | Get– put it on your head. | 把桶套在头上 |
| [27:56] | Good boy, Randy. | 真乖 兰迪 |
| [27:58] | You see, Chad, when you’ve studied medicine as long as I have, | 你看 查德 如果你学医跟我一样久的话 |
| [28:00] | you come to learn that sometimes, with treatment, | 你就会明白有时候 在治疗过程中 |
| [28:03] | the symptoms get a little worse before they get better. | 病患好转之前 其症状会加重一点 |
| [28:06] | What are you doing? | 你在做什么 |
| [28:08] | Nothing. | 没做什么 |
| [28:09] | Well, I’m placing my hand on your shoulder | 我只是把手放在你肩膀上 |
| [28:11] | in a way that subtly asserts my dominance. | 这是一种婉转彰显我权威的方式 |
| [28:13] | No… | 不 |
| [28:15] | what is your other hand doing? | 你另外一只手在做什么 |
| [28:20] | Nothing. | 没什么 |
| [28:22] | What do you say we give Randal a little privacy, huh? | 我们让兰德尔单独待一会吧 怎么样 |
| [28:26] | 鹅肝酱 品丽珠葡萄酒 芝麻菜沙拉 | |
| [28:31] | Well, well, well. | 好了 好了 好了 |
| [28:34] | It’s a damn good thing | 你让匡蒂科 |
| [28:36] | you got Quantico’s finest on the case. | 最棒的探员来查这案子绝对明智之举 |
| [28:39] | Do you know the number one lesson you learn as a top | 你知道作为一位联调局顶尖学员学到的第一课 |
| [28:43] | FBI cadet? | 是什么吗 |
| [28:46] | Trust your instincts. | 相信你的直觉 |
| [28:50] | And do you know what my instincts told me | 你知道我第一次见到扎丹·威廉姆斯时 |
| [28:51] | the first time I laid eyes on that Zayday Williams? | 我的直觉告诉我什么吗 |
| [28:54] | I was like, “This bitch right here is a stone-cold ho.” | 我当时想”这个小婊砸就是个冷血的贱货” |
| [28:59] | She tried to accuse you of being the killer | 她试图指责你是凶手 |
| [29:02] | just to deflect the attention off herself. | 只是为了转移大家对她的注意力 |
| [29:04] | How do we prove it’s not me? | 那怎么证明不是我做的 |
| [29:06] | Boom. I got you. Okay? | 我会帮你的 |
| [29:10] | This is what I learned at Quantico. | 我从匡提科学到了不少 |
| [29:14] | And by watching movies about Quantico. | 我看了关于匡提科的电影 |
| [29:16] | Ooh, and from the hit TV show Quantico, | 还看了热门电视剧《谍网》 |
| [29:22] | Here’s the thing: | 是这样的 |
| [29:23] | If you want to catch a killer, | 如果想抓住凶手 |
| [29:25] | you got to get inside the mind of a killer. | 就要深入凶手的脑子 |
| [29:29] | Or in Zayday’s case, | 对付扎丹呢 |
| [29:30] | underneath the weave of a killer. | 要透过她的头发贴片 |
| [29:34] | And I know just the right person who can help us do it. | 我知道谁在这事上能帮我们 |
| [29:42] | Do you think it’s weird that you’re, like, 60 | 你不觉得你都六十了 |
| [29:44] | and still working at a teaching hospital? | 还在教学医院里工作很奇怪吗 |
| [29:47] | You should be out of school by now, bro. | 你不应该还在学校 |
| [29:49] | You should’ve graduated. | 你早就该毕业了 |
| [29:58] | Were you held back or something? | 你之前在隐藏实力吗 |
| [30:11] | You obviously grew up playing squash. | 你从小就打壁球吧 |
| [30:13] | I grew up playing Radwell-style water polo. | 我从小到大打的都是本少爷自创水球 |
| [30:15] | Similar rules, except the horses get in the water on horseback. | 规则和水球类似 只不过是骑着马在水里 |
| [30:21] | Actually, I’ve only been playing a couple years. | 其实我只打了几年 |
| [30:27] | Whose hand is that, bro? | 这是谁的手 |
| [30:28] | Anonymous donor. | 匿名捐献者 |
| [30:31] | I’m done. | 我走了 |
| [30:33] | Oh, I’m not. | 我还没打够 |
| [30:34] | I’m just getting started. | 这才刚热身 |
| [30:35] | Oh, and if you think being a doctor | 还有要是你觉得当医生 |
| [30:36] | gives you some sort of advantage over me, | 就让你比我更了不起 |
| [30:38] | you’re wrong. ‘Cause guess what. | 你想多了 因为 |
| [30:41] | I’m about to become a doctor, too. | 我也要做医生了 |
| [30:43] | You realize it takes years? | 你知道要学好多年吗 |
| [30:46] | I’m playing the long game. | 我要打持久战 |
| [30:53] | Back off Chanel. | 离香奈儿远点 |
| [30:54] | And back off me. | 离我远点 |
| [30:56] | This hand is capable of a lot more than playing squash. | 这只手不只是会打壁球而已 |
| [31:14] | She’s down at the end. | 她就在走廊尽头 |
| [31:19] | I’ll be watching. | 我会看着你们的 |
| [31:21] | You’ll be fine. | 没事的 |
| [31:31] | Look at my cake. | 看我的蛋糕 |
| [31:34] | Oh, that guy just threw birthday cake frosting in my hair! | 那家伙把生日蛋糕糖霜扔到我头发上了 |
| [31:46] | Hello, Chanel. | 你好啊 香奈儿 |
| [31:47] | Dean Munsch. | 蒙什校长 |
| [31:48] | Chanel #3. | 香奈儿三号 |
| [31:50] | Special Agent Denise Hemphill, | 迪尼斯·亨普希尔特别探员 |
| [31:53] | FBI. | 联邦调查员 |
| [31:55] | Those, uh, drawings are real nice. | 那些画真好看 |
| [31:57] | They’re from memory. | 都是靠记忆画的 |
| [31:59] | Memory is all I have now that I don’t have a view. | 我现在没有景观只能靠记忆了 |
| [32:01] | Glad to hear you’re doing well. | 你过得好我们就放心了 |
| [32:04] | – We just wanted to ask you a couple questions. – No. | -我们只是想问你几个问题 -不 |
| [32:06] | You were just gaining my trust back | 你夸我的画 |
| [32:07] | by complimenting my drawings, | 是为了重获我的信任 |
| [32:09] | and now this ham-handed segue into asking about | 还能拙劣地过渡到问起 |
| [32:12] | the attacks that happened at your hospital. | 你们医院的攻击事件 |
| [32:14] | Oh, sookie, sookie now! | 不得了了 |
| [32:16] | Now how’d you know about that? | 你怎么知道的 |
| [32:18] | Tell me, do these attacks happen in the dead of night | 那些攻击是不是都发生在夜深人静 |
| [32:21] | during the graveyard shift | 凌晨值班时 |
| [32:22] | when most of your staff has already left? | 员工走得差不多的时候吗 |
| [32:25] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [32:25] | And does this killer wear a mask with horns | 凶手是不是戴着有角面具 |
| [32:28] | and does he or she leave a trail of green slime | 是否所到之处 |
| [32:31] | wherever he goes? | 留下一道绿色黏液呢 |
| [32:33] | You know who the killer is, don’t you? | 你知道谁是凶手 对吧 |
| [32:35] | I also know that there’s a connection | 我还知道这跟三十年前的 |
| [32:36] | to the Halloween murders that happened 30 years ago. | 万圣节谋杀案有关联 |
| [32:40] | The clues are right in front of your face. | 线索就在你眼前 |
| [32:42] | You just don’t see them. | 你只是没有意识到 |
| [32:43] | Just tell us who the killer is! | 告诉我们谁是凶手 |
| [32:45] | Quid pro quo, Chanel. | 我有条件 香奈儿 |
| [32:46] | I’ll tell you everything that I know. | 我会告诉你所有我知道的事情 |
| [32:49] | But first, I want a transfer to your hospital | 但首先 我要转到你们医院 |
| [32:51] | and I want a room with a view. | 要带景观的房间 |
| [32:53] | – You’re insane. – I’m not finished. | -你做梦 -我还没说完 |
| [32:55] | ‘Cause I have a list | 我还有一张清单 |
| [32:56] | of some super-high-end beauty products that I want. | 上面有我要的超高端美容产品 |
| [32:59] | I want a three-ounce bottle of Lab Systique’s | 奥秘实验室出品的八十五毫升装 |
| [33:01] | SUPER “M” age-defying face serum. | 超级滋润抗衰老脸部精华 |
| [33:03] | It really just makes your skin extra glowy. | 能让肌肤格外有光泽 |
| [33:05] | And a bottle of Sergio Jergoni’s | 还有赛尔奥·吉奥尼的 |
| [33:06] | Luminoquintessence Color Control Brightening Moisturizer. | 臻致雪颜提亮滋润CC霜 |
| [33:10] | It will wake up any skin tone. | 唤醒提亮任何肤色 |
| [33:12] | Hester, you know that’s impossible! | 海丝特 你知道这是不可能的 |
| [33:14] | Those products were discontinued, like, ten years ago. | 这些产品十年前就停产了 |
| [33:16] | You’re just gonna have to start trawling Craigslist | 那你得赶紧开始翻遍克雷格列表 |
| [33:18] | for an estate sale of old French whores. | 找个老女人的遗物大甩卖 |
| [33:21] | Until then, you better start praying | 在那之前 你最好祈祷 |
| [33:24] | that this Green Meanie doesn’t kill again. | 绿魔不会再大开杀戒 |
| [33:26] | Bitch, ain’t nobody got time for that! | 小婊砸 没工夫伺候你 |
| [33:29] | You better take this damn ChapStick | 你还是收了这只润唇膏 |
| [33:30] | and tell us what we need to know. | 然后告诉我们想知道的事情 |
| [33:37] | You have my requests. | 你们收到我的要求了 |
| [33:40] | Now fly away, little birds. | 可以跪安了 小朋友们 |
| [33:43] | Fly, fly. Fly, fly, fly. | 退下吧 退下吧 |
| [33:50] | I have a nice time tonight. | 我今晚很开心 |
| [33:52] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [33:54] | You really had my back. | 你真的很挺我 |
| [34:07] | Surprise. | 惊喜 |
| [34:10] | What is going on? | 怎么回事 |
| [34:11] | You passed the test. | 你通过了考验 |
| [34:12] | What test? | 什么考验 |
| [34:13] | You saw somebody that society had decided was hideous, | 你看着一个大众视为丑恶可怕的人 |
| [34:16] | and you chose to look past it and see the human being underneath. | 忽略了外表而看到他内在的人格 |
| [34:20] | That is something worth celebrating! | 那是值得庆祝的事情 |
| [34:23] | Well… thanks, I guess. | 谢谢 |
| [34:26] | Not you. Him. | 没夸你 说的是他 |
| [34:27] | We were testing him. | 我们在考验他 |
| [34:28] | – What? – Tyler, | -什么 -泰勒 |
| [34:30] | you have truly learned the lesson | 看来你已经真正明白了 |
| [34:32] | that looks aren’t the only thing that matters. | 外表并不是最重要的东西 |
| [34:34] | So we’ve decided to reward you | 所以我们决定奖励你 |
| [34:35] | by purchasing the laser for your treatment. | 给你买一台治疗用的激光仪 |
| [34:38] | Wait. What? | 等等 什么 |
| [34:42] | Wait. How did you get the money? | 等等 你们哪来的钱 |
| [34:44] | I asked Chad for it. | 找查德要的 |
| [34:45] | I told him it was for an experimental weapons-grade pube laser | 我告诉他是中国军方研制的 |
| [34:47] | that was developed by the Chinese military | 实验阶段的武器级激光除阴毛仪 |
| [34:49] | to give me a permanently stubble-free box. | 给我的下面做永久性激光脱毛 |
| [34:51] | He started writing the check before I even finished that phrase. | 我还没说完他就写好支票了 |
| [34:53] | – Thank you. – No. | -谢谢 -别 |
| [34:58] | So what’d you find out, dick? | 有什么发现 迪克[混蛋] |
| [34:59] | No, I-I prefer Richard. | 别 我还是习惯被称为理查德 |
| [35:01] | No “Richards” go by “Dick” since Nixon. | 从尼克松之后就没有人昵称理查德为迪克了 |
| [35:04] | I don’t know what you’re talking about. | 我不懂你在说什么 |
| [35:05] | I’m calling you “Dick” because your late. | 我叫你混蛋是因为你迟到了 |
| [35:08] | Okay, let’s start with the side stuff. | 咱们先从不要紧的事说起 |
| [35:10] | Then let’s move on to Dr. Holt. | 然后再说霍尔特医生的事 |
| [35:11] | Okay, well, so, all of the girls | 那些看了你 |
| [35:13] | that I showed that picture of your penis to… | 阴茎照片的姑娘们 |
| [35:15] | …thought that it looked very nice, but | 觉得它很带感 |
| [35:17] | a few of them commented about the way it, quote, | 但引用其中几位的话来说 |
| [35:20] | “Bends at kind of an extreme right angle.” | “将近弯成了直角” |
| [35:23] | – Continue. – Okay. | -继续 -好的 |
| [35:25] | As for, uh, Dr. Holt and his mystery hand, | 至于霍尔特医生和他疑雾重重的手 |
| [35:28] | let me just say this, bombshell. | 不得不说这是个爆炸性消息 |
| [35:32] | I cross-referenced “donated hand” | 我将”捐献手” |
| [35:34] | and “squash champion,” | 和”壁球冠军”交互引用 |
| [35:35] | and I came up with a name: Marshall Winthrop. | 得到了马歇尔·温思罗普这个名字 |
| [35:39] | Winthrop was this world-champion squash player. | 温思罗普曾是壁球的世界冠军 |
| [35:41] | He won a bronze medal at the Olympics. | 并在奥运会摘得铜牌 |
| [35:43] | But beating his opponents on the court did not satisfy him. | 但是仅仅在赛场上击败对手并不能满足他 |
| [35:47] | He hated them for losing. | 他痛恨败者 |
| [35:49] | He considered it a sign of disrespect | 他认为这是对他所深爱着的 |
| [35:52] | to the game he loved so much. | 体育项目的一种侮辱 |
| [36:00] | He started cruising for squash opponents on Craigslist. | 他开始从克雷格列表网站上搜寻对手 |
| [36:04] | He drew them in with the promise of a game | 他靠着与世界最强选手比赛的旗号 |
| [36:06] | against one of the world’s best. | 吸引对手 |
| [36:07] | But all of them lost not only the game, | 但他们所有人都不只输了比赛 |
| [36:09] | they lost their lives. | 还丢了性命 |
| [36:11] | Over 600 poor souls. | 超过六百人无辜死去 |
| [36:16] | Did… did you order me something? | 你 你没给我点些什么吗 |
| [36:19] | Richard, | 理查德 |
| [36:20] | we eat when we’re hungry. | 我们进食只为果腹 |
| [36:21] | Not when we want to. | 并非是满足口腹之欲 |
| [36:23] | – Right. – Keep going. | -没错 -继续 |
| [36:27] | So Winthrop was kind of an idiot, | 温斯洛普在某种程度上来说是个白痴 |
| [36:29] | because eventually the police tracked him down | 因为警察们最终靠克雷格列表上的广告 |
| [36:32] | through the Craigslist ads. | 追查到了他 |
| [36:34] | He was arrested before he could finish | 他一定本能地意识到了 |
| [36:36] | what he must have instinctively known | 被捕时都没能享用完 |
| [36:38] | was going to be his last supper– | 最后的晚餐 |
| [36:41] | fois gras rillettes, Cabernet Franc, rocket salad. | 香煎鹅肝酱 品丽珠红酒和芝麻菜色拉 |
| [36:45] | Same menu Brock’s hand was subconsciously writing. | 和布洛克潜意识写下的菜单一致 |
| [36:52] | Richard, what did we say about personal space? | 理查德 我们能注意下私人空间吗 |
| [36:56] | He was executed by the state, | 直到他成为一名全身器官捐赠者了 |
| [36:58] | but not before he became a full-body organ donor. | 州法院才判处他死刑 |
| [37:02] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [37:04] | That means… | 那就意味着 |
| [37:06] | Dr. Brock Holt has the hand | 布洛克·霍尔特医生拥有一只 |
| [37:08] | of one of the world’s most notorious serial killers. | 世界上最臭名昭著的连环杀手的手 |
| [37:15] | Shouldn’t this guy be under anesthesia? | 这个人不应该接受麻醉吗 |
| [37:17] | He’s dead. | 他已经死了 |
| [37:19] | Practicing some new techniques. | 练练新技术 |
| [37:21] | Does it bother you that when you spank it, | 你”打”的时候其实成了基佬 |
| [37:23] | you’re being totally gay? | 会困扰你吗 |
| [37:25] | – Excuse me? – And you’re celebrating Palm Sunday | -什么 -还有你打飞机 |
| [37:27] | with another bro’s hand, so… | 还要用另一个人的手 |
| [37:29] | These are my hands. | 它们是我的手 |
| [37:31] | You know, my best bro in college was gay. | 我大学里最好的哥们儿就是个基佬 |
| [37:34] | Till he got murdered. | 到死都是 |
| [37:35] | Which brings my next question. | 那么下一个问题就来了 |
| [37:37] | Is it weird for you that the hand that burps your worm | 你觉得撸管用的 |
| [37:39] | is the hand of a serial killer? | 是连环杀手的手奇怪吗 |
| [37:44] | So now you know my secret. | 所以你现在知道我的秘密了 |
| [37:49] | What are you gonna do about it? | 你想怎样 |
| [37:51] | Oh, you’ll find out. | 你会知道的 |
| [38:00] | This is driving me insane! | 这快把我逼疯了 |
| [38:00] | Most of Dean Munsch’s symptoms make sense | 蒙什教务长的大部分症状都说得通 |
| [38:04] | headaches, chills, joint pains. | 头疼 发冷 关节痛 |
| [38:06] | That sounds autoimmune to me. | 这些症状像是自体免疫 |
| [38:08] | But this… | 但这 |
| [38:09] | funny walking thing– that’s messing me up! | 走路很奇怪 真是把我搞糊涂了 |
| [38:13] | A strange gait? | 奇怪的步态 |
| [38:14] | It’s not a symptom for anything. | 这不是任何病的症状 |
| [38:16] | Okay, can I be totally honest with you? | 好吧 我能跟你说实话吗 |
| [38:18] | I am really hungry, | 我好饿 |
| [38:19] | and I’m having a hard time concentrating. | 根本没法集中精力 |
| [38:21] | I’ve been over there scrolling through | 我已经翻看 |
| [38:23] | Julianna Margulies’s best Emmy looks | 朱莉安娜·玛格丽丝的艾美奖最佳着装 |
| [38:25] | for the past 45 minutes. | 看了四十五分钟了 |
| [38:26] | I know this good Chinese spot. | 我知道有个不错的中国餐馆 |
| [38:28] | The Szechuan Flavor Palace? | 川味酒家吗 |
| [38:31] | No. Last time I ate there, I got sick. | 不行 上次我在那儿吃完就生病了 |
| [38:33] | All right, well, you like Ethiopian food, | 好吧 你想吃埃塞俄比亚菜吗 |
| [38:35] | they got one across the street. | 马路对面就有一家 |
| [38:36] | But they close at 9:00, so we got to hurry up. | 但他们九点关门 咱们得快点 |
| [38:40] | That’s it. | 我知道了 |
| [38:44] | You haven’t been to New Guinea lately, have you? | 你最近没去过新几内亚吧 |
| [38:48] | As a matter of fact, I have. | 事实上 我去了 |
| [38:50] | You know, it was the last leg of my book tour. | 那是我新书巡回宣传的最后一站 |
| [38:52] | My agent’s assistant– moron– screwed up, | 我的代理的白痴助手搞砸了 |
| [38:56] | and I was supposed to do a book signing in Princeton, | 我本来应该去新泽西的 |
| [38:58] | New Jersey, and instead she put me on a plane | 普林斯顿大学开签售会的 但她送我上了 |
| [39:00] | to Papua, New Guinea. | 飞往巴布亚新几内亚的飞机 |
| [39:03] | Anyway, that’s where I met Swando, | 我就是在那儿遇上斯万多的 |
| [39:07] | who is a fantastic Papuan medicine man. | 他是个医术精湛的巴布亚巫医 |
| [39:10] | And he invited me to this amazing party | 他邀请我去了一个很棒的派对 |
| [39:15] | where I ate this delicious sort of custardy, | 在那里我吃到了一种像丝滑可口 |
| [39:19] | eggy, scrambled thing. | 绵软 炒出来的东西 |
| [39:20] | Uh, most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten. | 是我吃过最好吃的东西 |
| [39:23] | What? Is there a problem? | 啥 有什么问题吗 |
| [39:25] | I’m afraid you have kuru. | 我想你得了新几内亚震颤病 |
| [39:28] | – What the hell’s kuru? – It’s a disease | -新几内亚什么 -是食人者 |
| [39:29] | that cannibalists get after they eat people. | 吃完人肉之后得的一种病 |
| [39:32] | – I beg your pardon. – He’s right. | -你瞎说什么 -他说得对 |
| [39:34] | It was first discovered in New Guinea | 这种病首先是在新几内亚的 |
| [39:35] | where certain tribes would eat the bodies | 某些会吃掉他们死去家人的 |
| [39:37] | of their deceased family members. | 部落中发现的 |
| [39:38] | Anyone who consumed the contaminated brain tissue | 吃了被感染的脑组织的人 |
| [39:40] | would contract the disease. | 就会染上这种病 |
| [39:43] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [39:46] | Oh, I just remembered. | 我刚想起来 |
| [39:48] | Swando’s fantastic party was, in fact, a funeral. | 斯万多那很棒的派对实际上 是个葬礼 |
| [39:54] | Okay. Well… | 好吧 |
| [39:57] | So what’s the treatment? | 这病有治吗 |
| [39:59] | I’m sorry, Dean Munsch, | 不好意思 蒙什教务长 |
| [40:02] | but if you already have the symptoms, | 但如果你已经出现症状了 |
| [40:04] | the literature states that you have less than a year to live. | 文献上说你活不到一年了 |
| [40:08] | There is no cure. | 这病无药可医 |
| [40:10] | Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [40:12] | This is a secret. | 这是个秘密 |
| [40:14] | You can tell no one. | 千万别告诉别人 |
| [40:15] | No one must know, because if the board finds out, | 谁都不能知道 如果董事会知道了这事 |
| [40:19] | they’ll think I’m unfit to run the hospital. | 他们会认为我无法再管理医院了 |
| [40:22] | We will keep it a secret. | 我们会保密的 |
| [40:24] | So then, they finally admitted they were my parents, | 他们终于承认了他们是我的父母 |
| [40:27] | but only on the condition that I never tell anyone. | 但前提是我不能告诉任何人 |
| [40:30] | But I feel like I can tell you, because… | 但我觉得我可以告诉你 因为 |
| [40:33] | I’m your boyfriend. | 我是你男朋友 |
| [40:34] | Say it loud and proud, Chanel #5. | 大声而骄傲的说出来 香奈儿五号 |
| [40:37] | I’m your boyfriend, and you’re my girlfriend. | 我是你男朋友 你是我女朋友 |
| [40:40] | Thank you so much for seeing the real me | 谢谢你能看到这些肿瘤之下 |
| [40:42] | beneath all these tumors. | 真实的我 |
| [40:44] | Thank you for seeing the real me beneath all of Chanel’s lies. | 谢谢你看到了香奈儿的谎言掩盖下真实的我 |
| [40:56] | Hey, I forgot to tell you. | 忘了跟你说 |
| [40:57] | Yesterday, I went on OurOwnPrivateIdaville.com. | 昨天我上了艾达维尔镇生活网 |
| [40:59] | It’s one of my favorite encyclopedia Brown message boards. | 是我最喜欢的《布朗百科》的留言板 |
| [41:02] | And I let the Encyclopedia Brown hive mind | 然后让《布朗百科》的众智 |
| [41:04] | try and solve the case of the Green Meanie who attacked you. | 努力找出攻击你的绿魔是谁 |
| [41:06] | Did you find something? | 你发现什么了吗 |
| [41:07] | Whoa, did I ever. | 那还用说 |
| [41:09] | You’re not gonna believe this. It’s a game-changer. | 你不会相信这事 这是个神转折 |
| [41:12] | Oh, hey, what’s happening? | 怎么回事 |
| [41:15] | I’m going into surgery now? | 我现在要去做手术了吗 |
| [41:17] | That’s… that’s amazing! | 这太不可思议了 |
| [41:19] | Did you plan this? | 是你策划的吗 |
| [41:20] | You sneaky little girl. | 你这个狡猾的小姑娘 |
| [41:22] | Wait, wait. | 等等 |
| [41:23] | No, you’re not supposed to have surgery until tomorrow. | 不 你明天才做手术 |
| [41:26] | Hey, hey, I got to go. They’re wheeling me away. | 我得走了 他们要推我走了 |
| [41:28] | Look, I love you so much, | 听着 我好爱你 |
| [41:29] | and I promise i’m gonna keep loving you even when I’m hot. | 我保证就算我变帅了也一样爱你 |
| [41:34] | Baby! | 宝贝 |
| [41:35] | Hey, did you guys know anything | 你们知道泰勒的手术 |
| [41:36] | about Tyler’s surgery being moved up to tonight? | 改到今晚了吗 |
| [41:39] | There’s no way that’s happening, | 这不可能 |
| [41:40] | because we just left Brock and Cassidy, | 我们刚刚才跟布洛克和卡西迪分开呢 |
| [41:41] | and they said they were going home to have a handsome contest. | 他俩说要回家比比谁更帅 |
| [41:44] | It’s where they try on different outfits | 他们会试穿不同的造型 |
| [41:46] | and see who’s more handsome. | 看谁更帅气 |
| [41:47] | Wait, but… if Brock and Cassidy weren’t there, | 可是 如果布洛克和卡西迪都不在那儿 |
| [41:51] | then who just wheeled Tyler into surgery? | 那刚把泰勒推进手术室的是谁 |
| [41:54] | Why are you strapping me down? | 你为什么把我绑起来 |
| [41:56] | Aren’t I gonna be under some sort of anesthesia? | 不应该给我上点麻醉什么的吗 |
| [42:02] | Holy crap! | 我去 |
| [42:04] | Please. I don’t… I don’t want to die. Please. | 求你了 我不想死 求你了 |
| [42:06] | Please. Please, no! | 求你了 不要 |
| [42:12] | Please, I-I don’t want to die. | 我不想死 |
| [42:16] | Please don’t… | 请不要 |
| [42:56] | Do you guys know what this means? | 你们知道这意味着什么吗 |
| [42:58] | I just lost my best chance at happiness with a really hot guy? | 我刚错失了和性感帅哥追求幸福的绝佳机会吗 |
| [43:03] | Definitely that. | 就是这样 |
| [43:05] | Ladies… | 姑娘们 |
| [43:10] | we have another serial killer on our hands. | 我们又撞上一名连环杀手 |