| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | You’re a fatty fatty fatty… | 你是个胖墩 胖墩 胖墩 |
| [00:06] | What’s your son doing? | 你儿子干嘛呢 |
| [00:08] | Apparently, he’s doing the “Fatty” Dance. | 很显然 他在跳”胖墩”舞 |
| [00:10] | Inappropriate? | 有什么不妥吗 |
| [00:12] | Well, maybe, | 好吧 也许确实不妥 |
| [00:13] | but I’m raising my son to be a straight shooter. | 但是我要把他培养成一个坦白正直的人 |
| [00:15] | That’s his mom right over there. | 他妈妈在那边 |
| [00:17] | Oh, thanks for including me. | 哦 谢谢你把我也拉下水 |
| [00:19] | Dr. Cox and Jordan weren’t the only ones with kid troubles. | 不是只有Cox医生和Jordan才有育儿问题 |
| [00:22] | My brand-new girlfriend was pregnant, | 我刚交的女朋友怀孕了 |
| [00:24] | and we were trying to decide what to do. | 我们正考虑要怎么办呢 |
| [00:27] | Should we keep it or get rid of it? | 这孩子是生下来还是做掉啊 |
| [00:28] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [00:29] | If we keep it, it’ll just end up in the dumpster. | 就算生下来 最后也得扔进垃圾箱里 |
| [00:32] | Okay, enough pizza talk. | 闲话到此为止吧 |
| [00:33] | I mean, we’re clearly stalling here. | 咱们明显是在磨洋工了 |
| [00:35] | -You’re right. – So… | -你说的对 – 那么 |
| [00:36] | Let’s go. | 开始吧 |
| [00:38] | Do you like kids? | 你喜欢孩子吗 |
| [00:39] | Of course I do. | 我当然喜欢 |
| [00:40] | What about you? Any nieces or nephews? | 你呢 有侄子侄女什么的吗 |
| [00:42] | Yeah, I have a nephew, although he’s 45. | 嗯 我有个侄子 虽然他都45岁了 |
| [00:45] | But occasionally, I do have to change his diaper. | 但我时不时的得给他换换纸尿裤 |
| [00:47] | – He was kicked by a horse. – Oh, no. | – 他被马踢了 – 哦 不 |
| [00:49] | Yeah. Now, how do you feel about adoption? | 是的 现在来说说你对领养的看法吧 |
| [00:52] | So, beautiful, I hope you keep some ice in this locket | 太 漂亮了 我希望你在吊坠里放了冰块 |
| [00:57] | ’cause you’re making me hot all over. | 因为你让我欲火烧身 |
| [00:59] | Actually, it’s the only picture I have of my biological father. | 事实上 里面放的是我生父唯一的一张相片 |
| [01:03] | – Do you want to see it? – What? Oh, sure. | – 你想看吗 – 什么 哦 当然 |
| [01:08] | I’ll take a look at it first thing tomorrow morning, huh? | 我明早起床就看 好不好 |
| [01:11] | Yeah, I’m not a big fan of adoption. | 这个嘛 我不太喜欢领养 |
| [01:13] | You think if it’s a girl you’d doink her? | 如果是个女孩你是不是会和她来一发 |
| [01:15] | I know I will. | 我知道我会 |
| [01:17] | Yup. All right. Well, look, | 好吧 听着 |
| [01:19] | we don’t need to make this decision tonight, right? | 咱们不需要今晚就做决定 对吧 |
| [01:21] | – I mean, plenty of time… – I’m totally fine with stalling. | – 我是说 时间多得很 – 拖一拖也没问题 |
| [01:24] | Great, because if I hear the word “Baby” One more time, | 太好了 因为如果我再一次听到”婴儿”这个词 |
| [01:27] | I’m gonna lose it! | 我都得发疯 |
| [01:28] | Dude, Carla’s in labor! Meet me at the apartment! | 兄弟 Carla要生了 到公寓来碰头 |
| [01:31] | Go, go, go! | 快快快 |
| [01:34] | Is he coming? Is he coming? | 生了吗(他快到了吗) 生了吗(他快到了吗) |
| [01:36] | Turk, she’s barely in labor. | Turk 她离生产还早着呢 |
| [01:37] | Oh, he’s not talking about the baby. | 哦 他说的不是孩子 |
| [01:40] | He’s here, and now we can have our baby! | 他来了 现在可以生了 |
| [01:42] | Okay, Brown Bear, commence Operation Brown Cub. | 好吧 棕熊 开始接生棕熊仔 |
| [01:45] | – Suitcase. – Check. | – 衣箱 – 带了 |
| [01:46] | – Stylish big daddy hat. – Check. | – 时尚大老爹帽子 – 带了 |
| [01:48] | – Big-time collegiate drum line. – Check. | – 一流大学的鼓乐队 – 带了 |
| [01:53] | I want the whole world to know my baby’s having a baby! | 我要全世界都知道我的宝贝要生孩子了 |
| [02:06] | Maybe we should just take your car. | 咱们还是坐你的车去吧 |
| [02:33] | Okay, ladies, we’re here. Calm down. | 好的 女士们 我们来了 别激动哦 |
| [02:36] | What the hell took you so long? | 你他妈的怎么这么晚才来 |
| [02:38] | Oh, my God. Did you stop for food? | 哦 天啊 你是不是半路去吃东西了 |
| [02:41] | We had to, honey. | 我们不得不去啊 亲爱的 |
| [02:42] | J.D. Promised the band that we’d feed them. | J.D.答应乐队会提供伙食 |
| [02:45] | Yeah, let me get 23 cheeseburgers, 23 milkshakes… | 好的 我要23个芝士堡 23个奶昔 |
| [02:49] | Miguel, if you don’t stop drumming, you’re not getting fries. | Miguel 如果你继续打鼓 就不给你薯条了 |
| [02:54] | Twenty-three… You know what? Twenty-two fries. | 23份 你猜怎么着 22份薯条 |
| [02:58] | Twenty-two fries. | 22份薯条 |
| [02:59] | You didn’t think I’d do it, did you? | 你以为我干不出来这种事 是吧 |
| [03:01] | Miguel has such raw talent, | 尽管Miguel天资聪颖 |
| [03:03] | but his attitude keeps getting in the way. | 但是他的态度实在是一大败笔 |
| [03:06] | Yay, congratulations, whoopee. | 耶 恭喜啊 呀吼 |
| [03:08] | All right, see you. | 完事了 再见 |
| [03:14] | We are so happy for you. | 我们太为你高兴了 |
| [03:23] | He’s so sweet. | 他真讨人喜欢 |
| [03:26] | You put one of those inside me. What are we going to do? | 要是生下来这种玩意可怎么办 |
| [03:31] | Turk, you brought my suitcase, right? | Turk 你把我的衣箱带来了 对吧 |
| [03:35] | Of course I have your suitcase, honey. | 我当然带来了 亲爱的 |
| [03:45] | What are you doing? | 你干什么呢 |
| [03:47] | Sometimes, when you need a miracle, | 有时 当你需要奇迹时 |
| [03:49] | you have to pray extra, extra hard. | 你就得更加玩命地祈祷 |
| [03:51] | – You wanna help me out? – Fo’ shizzle. | – 你想帮我一把吗 – 当然 |
| [04:07] | Please, Lord… | 求求你 上帝 |
| [04:19] | Nothing. | 完全没用 |
| [04:21] | Baby, changed my mind. | 宝贝 我改变主意了 |
| [04:24] | – I don’t have your suitcase. – Turk, what the hell? | – 我没带你的衣箱 – Turk 搞什么鬼 |
| [04:27] | It’s okay, it’s okay, Carla, | 没关系 没关系的 Carla |
| [04:28] | because I packed you an extra overnight bag, | 因为我给你打包好住院的东西了 |
| [04:31] | and you’re all checked in and I got you an orderly | 而且已经办好入院 也给你找了 医护人员 |
| [04:33] | to take you to your room. | 带你去病房 |
| [04:36] | Yeah, I’m only four months pregnant, ace. | 没错 我才怀孕四个月 伙计 |
| [04:38] | Yeah, I think you’re looking for me. | 恩 我猜你要找的是我 |
| [04:40] | Move it along before I eat you! Chop-chop! | 快滚过去 不然我吃了你 快滚快滚 |
| [04:45] | Sorry, Jack, the machine’s broken. | 不好意思 Jack 机器坏了 |
| [04:47] | Looks like you’re gonna | 看来你 |
| [04:47] | have to guzzle your juice down without any ice. | 喝不到加冰的果汁了 |
| [04:49] | Pretend… You know, pretend it’s gin. | 你就假装这是杜松子酒吧 |
| [04:53] | What’s gin? | 什么是杜松子酒 |
| [04:56] | Gin is an alcoholic beverage, | 杜松子酒是一种酒精饮品 |
| [04:58] | which, if your mommy’s strong genes are any indication, | 如果你继承了妈妈的强大基因 |
| [05:01] | you’ll eventually learn to love | 那么你最终是会学会爱上它的 |
| [05:03] | as it slowly destroys a giant portion of your adult life. | 然后你的大部分成年人生就毁在这酒上了 |
| [05:10] | First the fat lady, now this? | 刚刚才说完胖女人 现在又来这个 |
| [05:12] | He’s three, Perry. Do you have to be so blunt with him? | 他才三岁 Perry 你至于这么实事求是吗 |
| [05:15] | I’m not gonna BS my own kid. | 我不会糊弄自己家孩子的 |
| [05:16] | What’s the big deal? | 你这么神经兮兮地干嘛 |
| [05:18] | Hiya, sport! | 你好呀 小崽子 |
| [05:20] | – Your skin is wrinkly. – Yeah? | – 你皮肤皱巴巴的 – 是吗 |
| [05:22] | Well, that shirt you’re wearing is gay. | 好吧 你穿的衬衫也太娘了 |
| [05:28] | Hey, baby, I know things haven’t exactly gone smoothly so far, | 嘿 宝贝 我知道目前为止 一切都不如预期顺利 |
| [05:32] | but I promise you I’m about to make it up to you. | 但是我保证 我会补偿你的 |
| [05:34] | I spent all weekend talking to my cousin, | 我整周都在和我 |
| [05:36] | who just so happens to be the world’s biggest blerd. | 世界上最黑呆的表哥聊天 |
| [05:40] | That’s a black nerd. | 是黑人书呆子的简称 |
| [05:42] | Anyway, he taught me everything about streaming video | 不管怎样 他教会了我有关视频流的一切 |
| [05:45] | and now, thanks to me, your sisters in Chicago | 现在 多亏了我 你芝加哥的姐妹们 |
| [05:48] | will be able to witness the birth of our child live via webcam. | 能够通过网络摄像头现场目睹咱们的孩子出世了 |
| [05:51] | – Turk, that’s so sweet. – You know, I do what I do. | – Turk 你真是太好了 – 你懂的 本色发挥而已 |
| [05:55] | All we gotta do is wait for the cameraman to get here. | 我们现在要做的就是等摄影师来就行了 |
| [05:57] | “Cameraman”? | “摄影师” |
| [05:59] | No man’s gonna be filming my pooter | 除非他是个太监 |
| [06:01] | unless he’s completely asexual. | 不然甭想拍我的屁股 |
| [06:03] | – Hello! – Oh, hey, Ted. Cool. | – 你好 – 哦 嘿 是Ted啊 那没问题了 |
| [06:06] | All right, I’m gonna go tell your sisters that | 好的 我要去告诉你的姐妹们 |
| [06:08] | this bad boy is about to pop off. | 这个坏小子就要凌空出世了 |
| [06:13] | All right, Carla, let’s check how dilated you are. | 好的 Carla 让我们来看看你开几指了 |
| [06:16] | Looking real good, Carla. Okay, we’re live in three, two, one… | 看起来不错 Carla 好的 直播倒计时 3 2 1 |
| [06:24] | Okay, looks like you’re at about three centimeters. | 好的 看起来 你开了3厘米了 |
| [06:27] | Greatest show ever. | 这节目空前精彩啊 |
| [06:32] | And record | 录 |
| [06:33] | And record. | 下来 |
| [06:37] | Cool, Swamp Thing. | 酷 湿哒哒的东西 |
| [06:40] | What’s that, Daddy? | 那是什么 爸爸 |
| [06:43] | Oh, that’s the vagina of a 35-year-old Latina woman. | 哦 那是一个35岁拉丁女人的小妹妹 |
| [06:49] | Baby? | 宝贝 |
| [06:59] | What the… | 搞什么 |
| [07:06] | J.D., we have to talk about all of our pregnancy options, | J.D. 尽管对咱俩来说都很别扭 但还是得谈谈 |
| [07:08] | even if they make us uncomfortable. | 怀孕这档子事的所有选择 |
| [07:10] | There’s one way of dealing with this that no one’s mentioned yet. | 有一种解决办法 还没人提起过呢 |
| [07:13] | – The “A” Word. – I know. | – “A”字母开头的 – 我知道 |
| [07:15] | – Abortion. – Appletinis. | – 堕胎 – 苹果马提尼酒 |
| [07:17] | What? | 什么 |
| [07:18] | I thought that we could discuss abortion over Appletinis. | 我觉得咱们可以一边喝苹果马提尼一边谈谈堕胎的事 |
| [07:24] | Did somebody just say “Abortion”? | 刚才谁说”堕胎”了吗 |
| [07:28] | Laverne, with all due respect, | Laverne 恕我直言 |
| [07:30] | this is none of your business or Jesus’. | 这跟你毫无关系 也不关上帝的事 |
| [07:34] | I believe he would beg to differ. | 我相信 他老人家可不同意 |
| [07:38] | She’s right, J.D. Every life is precious. | 她说的没错 J.D. 每条生命都很珍贵 |
| [07:42] | But what if having this baby is a huge mistake for us? | 但是如果生下这个孩子是个巨大的错误决定呢 |
| [07:47] | Okay, I’m gonna make this real simple. | 好吧 我化到最简说给你听 |
| [07:51] | No abortions, okay? | 不许堕胎 明白了吧 |
| [07:53] | – But what if… – No abortions. | – 但是 如果 – 不许堕胎 |
| [07:55] | Let me finish. | 让我把话说完 |
| [07:56] | What if the parents were, like, abusive drug-addicts | 如果父母是一对滥用药的瘾君子 |
| [07:58] | who would neglect their kid? | 会完全忽视孩子呢 |
| [07:59] | Oh, well, in that case, it’d be okay. | 哦 这种情况的话 就没问题了 |
| [08:02] | – Really? – No abortions! | – 真的吗 – 不许堕胎 |
| [08:04] | How are you not getting this? | 你怎么就是听不懂呢 |
| [08:08] | This sucks. | 简直糟透了 |
| [08:09] | I mean, the hardest decision I’ve had to make in the last year | 我是说 去年我做的最艰难的决定是 |
| [08:11] | was what hairstyle to get, | 要剪什么发型 |
| [08:12] | and even then all I did was open up an Us Magazine, | 即便如此 我也只是翻开一本美国周刊 |
| [08:14] | close my eyes and pick a random celebrity. | 闭上眼睛 随便指了个名人 |
| [08:16] | – Kirsten Dunst? – Owen Wilson. | – 是Kirsen Dunst吗 – Owen Wilson |
| [08:20] | You know what’s making this so hard? | 你知道为什么会这么难吗 |
| [08:21] | This relationship is so new, we can’t tell | 我们的关系才刚刚开始 我们不知道 |
| [08:24] | if we have a chance of making this work long-term. | 能否有机会继续发展 |
| [08:26] | You know what might give us an inkling? | 你知道 什么能给咱们点暗示吗 |
| [08:28] | We haven’t technically had sex yet. | 准确地说我们还没有做过爱呢 |
| [08:31] | That might help us find out | 说不定一炮以后 |
| [08:33] | if we’re on the same page, you know, in the boudoir. | 就能知道我们是否意见统一了 |
| [08:36] | Are you hitting on me? | 你是在调戏我吗 |
| [08:38] | I’m sorry. I’m being an idiot, aren’t I? | 抱歉 我又犯蠢了吧 |
| [08:40] | No. Clothes off, we’re doing it. | 不 脱衣服 咱们搞起 |
| [08:46] | Yeah! | 太棒了 |
| [08:48] | All right, we are definitely sexually compatible. | 好吧 咱俩在床上绝对合拍 |
| [08:50] | I’m putting that down in the pro “Let’s have a baby” Category. | 这就算是咱们”要孩子的好处”之一了 |
| [08:53] | That’s exactly what we should do. | 咱们就应该这么做 |
| [08:55] | We should make a list of pros and cons. | 咱们可以列个利弊表 |
| [08:57] | What did you two just do? | 你俩刚才做什么见不得人的事了 |
| [08:59] | Because I sure don’t see any wedding rings! | 我可没看见结婚戒指啊 |
| [09:04] | Laverne, is this your Jesus? | Laverne 这是你的耶稣像吗 |
| [09:11] | Turk, I got your shift covered so you could hang here. | Turk 我替你班了 你可以呆在这儿了 |
| [09:14] | Oh, and Carla, | 哦对了 Carla |
| [09:14] | there’s something I wanted to tell you. | 有点事我想要跟你说 |
| [09:18] | Great vagina. | 小妹妹不赖 |
| [09:19] | So helpful! | 你这话太”有用”了 |
| [09:20] | Don’t take it out on The Todd. | 别拿Todd撒气 |
| [09:22] | He was just giving me a compliment. | 他刚才是夸我呢 |
| [09:24] | – Thank you, Todd. – Hey, happy to say it. | – 谢谢 Todd – 嘿 不客气 |
| [09:28] | So, what’s next, Turk? | 接下来还要怎么样 Turk |
| [09:29] | Because so far I’m half-deaf from a drum line, | 因为目前为止我已经被鼓乐队震得快聋了 |
| [09:32] | I have no suitcase, | 也没带行李箱 |
| [09:33] | and the entire hospital has seen ms. Priscilla. | 而且整个医院都看过我的”Priscilla小姐”了 |
| [09:37] | I named her after my high school art teacher. | 我以自己高中的艺术老师给她命名的 |
| [09:41] | Oh, my God, so did I! | 哦 天啊 我也是 |
| [09:43] | Mr. Hebler. | Hebler先生 |
| [09:46] | “It’s nice to meet you.” | “很高兴见到你” |
| [09:50] | Okay, let me just read the last of the cons. | 好了 我要读最后几个坏处了 |
| [09:51] | We’re not married, we’re both totally focused on our careers, | 咱们没结婚 都忙于各自的事业 |
| [09:53] | babies are known to be sticky, | 孩子出了名的粘人 |
| [09:55] | and the average cost of raising a child is $400,000. | 而且养一个孩子的平均花销是40万美元 |
| [09:58] | Okay. Here are the final pros. | 好的 接下来是最后几个好处 |
| [10:00] | Kids are great, we both make good money, | 孩子很好 咱们都能捞钱 |
| [10:02] | your boobs will get huge, | 你的咪咪会变很大 |
| [10:04] | I can finally buy Beanie Babies without feeling weird, | 我终于能光明正大地买豆豆娃了 |
| [10:07] | and kids are great… | 而且孩子很好 |
| [10:09] | Which you already said. …tax deductions. | 这个你说过了 还有减税 |
| [10:12] | – Oh, yeah, awesome. – Oh, nice one. | – 哦 对啊 太棒了 – 哦 这个不错 |
| [10:14] | All right, so then what’s the final tally? | 好了 最后比分怎样 |
| [10:15] | Nice. Let’s see. | 不错 来看看 |
| [10:16] | That’s 20 cons and 19 pros. | 20个坏处 19个好处 |
| [10:20] | – I guess we gotta abort. – Yup. | – 看来得堕胎了 – 是啊 |
| [10:22] | Wait, I’m sorry. That’s an eyelash, I made a wish. | 等会 抱歉 是根睫毛 我许了个愿 |
| [10:27] | – It’s a tie. Abortion’s off. – Okay. | – 平局了 堕胎下台 – 好吧 |
| [10:29] | So now what? | 那现在怎么办 |
| [10:31] | Every couple has its share of problems. | 每对情侣都有自己的问题 |
| [10:34] | Congrats, Perry. My son just asked me | 恭喜啊 Perry 我儿子刚刚问我 |
| [10:36] | if my vagina had ever been on television. | 我的小妹妹是否也上过电视 |
| [10:38] | And did you tell him not since the late ’80s | 那你告没告诉他自从上世纪 |
| [10:40] | when you were trying to make it as an “Actress”? | 八十年代后就没有了 那时你想当个演员 |
| [10:42] | Whether it’s someone digging in… | 不论是一方固执己见 |
| [10:44] | Will you just cut the crap and stop treating your son | 你能不能少说废话 别再把你儿子 |
| [10:46] | like he’s your drinking buddy? | 当酒友对待了 |
| [10:47] | Jordan, I’m not going to change who I am, all right? | Jordan 我不会改变真我的 好不好 |
| [10:49] | End of story. Jackie. | 到此为止了 Jackie |
| [10:53] | Or someone’s stealing your thunder… | 还是有人抢了你的风头 |
| [10:55] | Okay, candles are all lit, lavender-scented, your favorite. | 好的 蜡烛都点燃了 你最喜欢的薰衣草味的 |
| [10:59] | And here’s a picture of your mom to watch over you. | 外加一张你老妈的相片 好来保佑你 |
| [11:02] | And then I got this kit | 然后我还带了一套工具 |
| [11:03] | in case you want to bronze the umbilical cord | 以防你想给脐带镀铜 |
| [11:04] | and use it as a key chain. I practiced at home on some calamari. | 再做成个钥匙扣 我在家用炸鱿鱼圈做过实验 |
| [11:08] | Elliot, you’re amazing. | Elliot 你太棒了 |
| [11:10] | Well, is there anything I can do to help? | 那 还有什么需要我帮忙的吗 |
| [11:12] | Elliot’s got everything covered. | Elliot全都打点好了 |
| [11:17] | Still, nothing’s worse | 但是 最糟糕的还是 |
| [11:18] | than facing the biggest decision of your life | 在面临人生最重大的抉择时 |
| [11:20] | and not getting anywhere. | 却毫无进展 |
| [11:21] | Don’t you wish it was this easy? | 其实这样就简单多了 |
| [11:23] | Heads yes, tails no. | 正面生孩子 背面堕胎 |
| [11:43] | You don’t see that every day. | 这可不是天天都能看见的 |
| [11:51] | You know what? We’re getting nowhere. | 你猜怎么着 咱们毫无进展 |
| [11:53] | Let’s split up for an hour and do some soul-searching. | 咱们分开一小时 来个灵魂探索吧 |
| [11:56] | – Where are you going? – I was just gonna walk around. | – 你要去哪啊 – 我就随便走走 |
| [12:00] | Why, where do you go when you soul-search? | 怎么了 你探索灵魂一般都去哪 |
| [12:06] | All right, Justin, what should my specialty be? | 好吧 Justin 我的专长是什么 |
| [12:10] | Oncology or radiology? | 肿瘤学还是放射学 |
| [12:15] | I go someplace wonderful. | 我会去个美妙的地方 |
| [12:19] | Anyway, I was thinking we | 无论如何 我在想 |
| [12:20] | need new table linens for the dining room. | 咱们的餐厅里需要新的餐布了 |
| [12:22] | Well, not so much table linens as place mats. | 好吧 比起餐布 咱们更需要餐具垫 |
| [12:25] | What do you think’s prettier, burgundy or mauve? | 你觉得哪个更漂亮 勃垦地还是淡紫色 |
| [12:29] | – What the hell’s with her? – She’s mad, | – 她他妈的什么毛病 – 她很气愤 |
| [12:30] | but she can’t give me the silent treatment | 但是她不能和我冷战 |
| [12:32] | because she knows I’d actually love that. | 因为她知道我其实喜欢冷战 |
| [12:33] | So she’s giving me | 所以她就一直没问没了地磨叽 |
| [12:34] | talk-until-I-want-to- commit-suicide treatment. | 直到逼得我想自杀 |
| [12:37] | – Sucks to be you. – You have no idea. | – 还好我不是你啊 – 你简直无法体会啊 |
| [12:40] | What else do I need for that? | 我还需要点什么呢 |
| [12:41] | Oh, I need new pillow shams | 哦 我还需要新的绣花枕套 |
| [12:44] | and I like cotton, but I think we should get a cotton blend | 我喜欢纯棉的 但是咱们应该买棉混纺的 |
| [12:47] | because that’s easier to clean and I hate ironing. | 因为比较好洗 而且我讨厌熨烫 |
| [12:51] | Maybe we need a new housekeeper. | 也许咱们需要一个新的管家 |
| [12:53] | Maybe the housekeeper should come every single day now. | 也许咱们的管家应该现在每天都来 |
| [12:56] | Look, Elliot, I’m really | 听着 Elliot 我真的 |
| [12:57] | trying to be involved in the birth of my child, | 很努力的想参与到孩子的生产过程中 |
| [12:59] | but you just keep boxing me out. | 但是你不断地把我排挤出来 |
| [13:01] | That is not true. Now, out of my way, | 才不是呢 现在 别挡道 |
| [13:03] | I’ve gotta order the birth announcements, | 我得去整理出生通告 |
| [13:04] | put in the car seat and find a yard to bury the placenta… | 放到车座上 还要找个院子来埋胎盘 |
| [13:08] | Oh, my God, I’m a monster. Turk, I am so sorry. | 哦 天啊 我是个怪物 Turk 我真是太抱歉了 |
| [13:12] | – I just love babies so much. – It’s true. | – 我只是太喜欢婴儿了 – 这是真的 |
| [13:14] | Sometimes she makes me wear a diaper. | 有时她会逼我穿纸尿裤 |
| [13:16] | Keith, private! | Keith 保密 |
| [13:21] | – So, what is Elliot’s plan? – Oh, it’s really simple. | – 那Elliot有什么计划 – 哦 很简单 |
| [13:24] | See, when Carla says, “I’m thirsty,” | 你看 当Carla说”我渴了” |
| [13:26] | Elliot’ll say, “Oh, no, I forgot the ice chips.” | Elliot就会说 “哦 不 我忘了加冰块” |
| [13:28] | That’s when I walk in, ice in hand, | 这时我就会走进去 手里拿着冰块 |
| [13:31] | and I say, “Christopher Turk, at your cervix.” | 然后说”Christopher Turk 听您差遣” |
| [13:35] | Should I have a baby, too? | 我也应该要个孩子吗 |
| [13:37] | You know, I’m a little preoccupied right now. | 你知道吗 我现在有点忙 |
| [13:39] | Why don’t you ask your unicorn? | 你为什么不问问你的独角兽 |
| [13:41] | This is way over Justin’s head. | 这个远超出Justin的理解范围了 |
| [13:43] | He’s never even been in love. | 他从来没陷入爱河过 |
| [13:45] | Not real love, anyway. | 反正也不是真实的爱 |
| [13:49] | What’s up with the ice? | 冰块怎么了 |
| [13:51] | I don’t know what to do. | 我不知道该怎么办 |
| [13:52] | I mean, having a baby can completely ruin your life, you know? | 我是说 要孩子会彻底毁了你的人生 你知道吗 |
| [13:55] | Not to mention, as a urologist, | 更别提 作为一个泌尿科医生 |
| [13:57] | I have seen what childbirth can do to you down there. | 我可见过生完孩子能把底下弄成什么样子 |
| [14:00] | I mean, I examined this one woman last month | 我是说 上个月我给一个女的检查 |
| [14:01] | and it was like, | 那里就像 |
| [14:02] | “Hello, hello, hello…” | “你好 你好 你好”这样有回音 |
| [14:05] | Not a good time, Kim. | 现在不是时候 Kim |
| [14:09] | – Oh, God, I’m thirsty. – Really? | – 我天啊 我好渴 – 真的吗 |
| [14:13] | Unfortunately, I forgot the ice chips. | 不幸的是 我忘加冰块了 |
| [14:19] | Ice chips! | 冰块 |
| [14:20] | Dude, help. I’m totally stuck. | 兄弟 帮帮忙 我完全卡住了 |
| [14:21] | Why don’t you just yank it out? | 你为什么不使劲拽出来 |
| [14:23] | I would not do that. | 要是我可不会那么做 |
| [14:26] | That’s how it happened! | 他的手原来是这么没的 |
| [14:28] | Ice chips, ice chips, ice-ice chips-chips! | 冰块 冰块 冰冰块块 |
| [14:32] | Hey, guys. | 嘿 伙计们 |
| [14:35] | Carla, let me just see how far you can reach here. | Carla 让我看看你能够到多远 |
| [14:37] | Okay, perfect. | 好的 太棒了 |
| [14:39] | Turk would like you to | Turk让你给他打电话 |
| [14:40] | call him because he’s stuck in an ice machine. | 因为他卡在冰块机里了 |
| [14:42] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:45] | See, that’s why I took the precaution. | 看吧 这就是为什么我早有防备 |
| [14:49] | Kim, would you be a sweetie and give Turk a call for me? | Kim 你能善良点 帮我给Turk打给电话吗 |
| [14:51] | Yes, ma’am. | 好的 女士 |
| [14:53] | Hey, baby, look, I… Yeah, he’s right here. | 嘿 宝贝 听着 我 是的 他在我旁边 |
| [14:58] | – Hold on. She won’t talk to me. – Hi. | – 等会儿 她不跟我讲话了 – 嗨 |
| [15:01] | Yes, I know, he missed your wedding, too. | 是的 我知道 他也错过了你的婚礼 |
| [15:05] | All right, hold on. | 好的 等一下 |
| [15:07] | – That was from her, not me. – Go. | – 她让我打的 – 走开 |
| [15:12] | Relax, I’ll have him out in one second. | 放松 我马上就把他弄出去 |
| [15:14] | All right, now hold still. Nobody likes a jagged stump. | 好的 现在别动 没人喜欢锯不齐的”树桩” |
| [15:17] | No! | 不要 |
| [15:20] | He’s being unreasonable. Okay. | 他又无理取闹 好的 |
| [15:27] | That was from me. | 这一巴掌是我打的 |
| [15:32] | – Hey, there. – Hey. | – 嘿 你好 – 嘿 |
| [15:34] | So, have you decided what you want to do? | 你决定好想怎么做了吗 |
| [15:38] | You know what? Neither one of us should have to go first. | 你猜怎么着 咱俩谁都不用先开口 |
| [15:40] | How about, on the count of three, | 不如就数到三 |
| [15:41] | we both say what we think we should do? | 咱们一起说出 我们应该怎么办呢 |
| [15:43] | – Okay. – One, two, three… | – 好的 – 1 2 3 |
| [15:46] | – I got nothing. – Appletinis. | – 我啥也没想出来 – 苹果马提尼酒 |
| [15:48] | So, you guys gonna keep it? | 你们俩 打算把孩子留下吗 |
| [15:50] | – There’s a lot to… – Maybe, but if we do, we can… | – 有好多 – 也许吧 但留下来我们就能 |
| [15:53] | – Because… – Then we can… | – 因为 – 然后我们能 |
| [15:54] | Probably. | 也许 |
| [15:55] | Maybe not. | 也许不会留 |
| [15:56] | You know, I had an abortion. | 你们知道吗 我堕过一次胎 |
| [15:59] | All right, Jackie. As promised, | 好的 Jackie 像我答应过的 |
| [16:01] | let’s go find ourselves a little stethoscope | 咱们去找个小听诊器 |
| [16:04] | so you can hear what your butt sounds like. | 这样你就能听听你的屁股会发出什么声了 |
| [16:06] | – Daddy, what’s an abortion? – Enjoy. | – 爸爸 什么叫堕胎 – 好好享受吧 |
| [16:12] | My mommy had an abortion! | 我妈妈堕过胎 |
| [16:14] | My mommy had an abortion! My mommy had an abortion! | 我妈妈堕过胎 我妈妈堕过胎 |
| [16:16] | – My mommy had an abortion. – How you doing? | – 我妈妈堕过胎 – 你好吗 |
| [16:21] | Okay, Janitor, Carla’s starting to push. Tell Turk. | 好吧 清洁工 Carla要生了 告诉Turk |
| [16:24] | Got it. Your baby has a tail. | 明白了 你的孩子长了条尾巴 |
| [16:27] | I told her to stay away from the microwave. | 我告诉过她离微波炉远点 |
| [16:31] | – Elliot, I can’t do it! – Okay, okay, I want you to imagine | – Elliot 我做不到 – 好的 好的 我要你想象一下 |
| [16:34] | that your uterus is like a tube of toothpaste | 你的子宫像一管牙膏 |
| [16:36] | and you’re just trying to squeeze out | 而你整努力想要挤出 |
| [16:38] | all that minty-fresh gel, but instead of minty-fresh gel inside, | 所有清爽的薄荷膏 但是你没有清爽的薄荷膏 |
| [16:41] | there’s a little black baby. | 你要挤出的是一个小黑孩儿 |
| [16:44] | We have a prolapsed umbilical cord. | 孩子脐带脱垂 |
| [16:45] | She needs a C-section, right now. | 她需要剖腹产 马上 |
| [16:48] | – Put Turk on the phone, damn it! – It’s okay. | – 让Turk接电话 妈的 – 没事的 |
| [16:50] | Baby, listen. I’m not angry that you got stuck. | 宝贝 听着 你卡住了 我不生气 |
| [16:54] | I know you were just trying to be nice | 我知道你只是想好好表现 |
| [16:56] | because you’re a good-hearted, | 因为你很善良 |
| [16:57] | wonderful, thoughtful man, but listen to me. | 很了不起 很有思想 但是听我说 |
| [17:00] | They’re giving me a C-section, and I’m really scared | 我马上要剖腹产了 我真的很害怕 |
| [17:04] | and I need you to be here right now. | 我需要你马上过来 |
| [17:07] | Something about a C-section. Smile. | 好像说到什么剖腹产 笑一个 |
| [17:20] | – Almost there? – Almost there. | – 快到了 – 快到了 |
| [17:24] | – Baby! I’m here! – Turk, I’m scared! | – 宝贝 我来了 – Turk 我好害怕 |
| [17:28] | Sorry, Dr. Turk, no ice machines. | 抱歉 Turk医生 冰块机不能进来 |
| [17:31] | No! | 别呀 |
| [17:35] | I was 19 and working in Nantucket as a waitress | 我当时19岁 在南塔克特当服务员 |
| [17:38] | and dating this amazing guy named Andy. | 和一个叫Andy的棒小伙约会 |
| [17:41] | Curly blond hair and dimples | 他金色卷发 还有小酒窝 |
| [17:44] | and eyes that were either sky blue, powder blue, | 一双天蓝色还是 浅灰蓝色的眼睛 |
| [17:48] | I could never figure out which. | 我总也说不清 |
| [17:51] | Anyway, his best friend, Curt, knocked me up. | 不论如何 他最好的朋友Curt 搞大了我的肚子 |
| [17:55] | Don’t look at me like that. That was the first guy I had ever slept with. | 别那么看着我 那是第一个睡过我的家伙 |
| [17:59] | Oh, we’re not judging you. | 没有 我们不会对你评头论足的 |
| [18:00] | Whore! | 婊子 |
| [18:02] | I think about it from time to time, | 我不时会想起 |
| [18:03] | but it would have been the biggest mistake to have that baby. | 但是生下那个孩子 将会是我犯过的最大错误 |
| [18:07] | We’ve talked, we’ve made lists, | 我们谈过了 也列了单子 |
| [18:09] | and we’ve been as logical as we can here, | 而且我们也尽可能做到理性对待 |
| [18:11] | and we’ve still got nothing. | 我们还是毫无进展 |
| [18:12] | It’s not a logical decision. | 这不是个需要理性的决定 |
| [18:14] | If it’s right, you’ll feel it in your heart. | 如果是正确的 你心里就会感觉到 |
| [18:16] | Yeah, but what if we don’t feel anything? | 好吧 但是如果我们没有感觉呢 |
| [18:20] | Maybe that’s your answer. | 也许那就是你们的答案 |
| [18:25] | Carla’s having a C-section. | Carla要剖腹产了 |
| [18:32] | Jordan, you okay? | Jordan 你还好吗 |
| [18:35] | My mommy had an abortion. | 我妈妈堕过胎 |
| [18:37] | She sure did, sweetie. | 她确实堕过 甜心 |
| [18:41] | How are my boys? | 我家的两个小伙子怎么样啊 |
| [18:47] | What’s going on? | 发生什么了 |
| [18:48] | They’re about to start. | 他们要开始了 |
| [18:51] | Turkleton Turkleton! | |
| [18:52] | If you are trying to get the same $5 million settlement | 如果你想像那个天杀的钩子手保安一样 |
| [18:56] | that damn hook-handed security guard got, | 骗走500万美元和解费 |
| [18:58] | you’re out of luck, stud, | 劝你别做白日梦了 种马 |
| [18:59] | ’cause I put a release button right here on top. | 因为我在顶上这儿放了个释放按钮 |
| [19:09] | Well, what are you waiting for, son? Get in there. | 你还在等什么呢 孩子 快进去吧 |
| [19:15] | – How you doing, beautiful? – Turk, you’re here. | – 你怎么样了 美人 – Turk 你来了 |
| [19:20] | I’m so hot. | 我好热 |
| [19:23] | Don’t sweat it. I got you. | 别担心 你有我呢 |
| [19:32] | Guys, I have an announcement. | 大伙儿 我有事要宣布 |
| [19:37] | Miguel, please! | Miguel 拜托 |
| [19:39] | The baby’s out, but the cord was wrapped around its neck, | 孩子生出来了 但是脐带缠到他脖子上了 |
| [19:42] | so we had to take it to the NICU. | 所以我们不得不把他送到新生儿重症监护室 |
| [19:44] | They say you never realize your capacity to love | 他们说 只有当你有了孩子时 |
| [19:46] | until you have a child. | 你才能意识到自己能够去爱 |
| [19:48] | It can change who you are. | 并从此就变得不同 |
| [19:50] | Where do babies come from? | 孩子是哪来的 |
| [19:55] | Where do babies come from? Well… | 孩子是哪来的 那个 |
| [20:02] | When a mommy and a daddy love each other very, very much, | 当妈妈和爸爸非常 非常相爱 |
| [20:08] | sometimes they close their eyes and they make a wish. | 有时他们会闭上眼睛 然后许个愿 |
| [20:17] | It can fill you with joy. | 你会充满喜悦 |
| [20:20] | Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you | 女士们先生们 我来为你们介绍一下 |
| [20:23] | to Isabella Turk. | 这是Isabella Turk |
| [20:25] | I’m a daddy! I’m a daddy! | 我当爸爸了 我当爸爸了 |
| [20:45] | It can even give your heart | 甚至 你的内心也会得到那个答案 |
| [20:47] | the answer you thought you’d never find. | 那个你还以为永远无法找到的答案 |
| [20:56] | Let’s do this. | 咱们把孩子生下来吧 |