| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | So there we were. | 这一刻还是到来了 |
| [00:05] | Elliot about to get married, | 快要作人妇的Elliot |
| [00:07] | me about to have a baby with Kim, | 与跟Kim快要有宝宝的我 |
| [00:09] | careening toward a kiss. | 颤巍地想吻对方 |
| [00:11] | We were both terrified because either one of us | 我们都很害怕 |
| [00:13] | could back out at the last second, | 因为我俩都可能在最后时刻退缩 |
| [00:15] | leaving the other kissing the air and feeling like a fool. | 让对方像傻瓜一样亲吻着空气 |
| [00:18] | Ah, the point of no return. | 这一刻 没有回头路 |
| [00:20] | The closing of the eyes. | 紧闭双眼 |
| [00:22] | Time to dine. | “用餐”时间到 |
| [00:26] | Elliot Elliot? | |
| [00:28] | J.D., what are we doing? | JD 我们这算什么 |
| [00:30] | How the hell did she do that? | 她是怎么做到的 |
| [00:34] | Look, what almost happened in there is not about us. | 这事不仅仅是我们两个人的事 |
| [00:37] | Of course not. Please. Us. | 当然不是 拜托 “我们” |
| [00:39] | I mean, we’re both just on the verge of making giant commitments | 我是说 我们都处在许下大承诺的边缘 |
| [00:41] | and, as usual, we’re freaking out. | 所以 就像一直以来的一样 我们吓坏了 |
| [00:42] | You’re right. And you know what? We can’t let fear | 说的对 你知道吗 我们不能让恐惧 |
| [00:44] | screw up our relationships. | 破坏我们的关系 |
| [00:46] | Who wants to end up like Snoop Dogg Intern? | 谁想最后成为那位实习生Snoop Dogg啊 |
| [00:48] | – Hey. – Sorry. Snoop Dogg Resident. | – 喂 – 不好意思 住院医师Snoop Dogg |
| [00:50] | – Hey. – Snoop Dogg Attending? | – 喂 – 主治医生Snoop Dogg |
| [00:52] | – That’s right, baby. – All right. | – 这才对 宝贝 – 好吧 |
| [00:54] | The point is he hasn’t told Josephine | 重点是他还没跟Josephine坦白 |
| [00:56] | that she gives him wowsers in his trousers. | 她让他神魂颠倒呢 |
| [00:58] | Hey, be cool. Be cool, man. I’m working on it. Okay? | 好了 伙计 我已经在努力了 |
| [01:01] | I’m with you, dawg. Just keep it real. | 支持你 兄弟 现实点就行了 |
| [01:03] | – What do we do now? – Nothing. | – 我们现在怎么办 – 什么都不做 |
| [01:05] | Nothing happened, so we never have to speak of this again. | 什么事都没发生 所以不要再提起这事了 |
| [01:08] | Keith Keith? | |
| [01:09] | Keith Keith? | |
| [01:10] | Keith Keith? | |
| [01:12] | Wait, I was already surprised out loud. | 等等 我已经大声惊呼了一次了 |
| [01:14] | I was lonely at home, so I decided to come by and say hi. | 我独自在家 所以我决定来跟你打个照面 |
| [01:18] | And then I had one of those weird, crystallising moments | 之后那种奇怪的”水晶时刻”出现了 |
| [01:21] | when everything becomes so clear. | 所有事都变得清晰起来 |
| [01:22] | I mean, I should’ve been relieved | 我并没有因为Keith没有早点来 |
| [01:24] | that Keith hadn’t shown up earlier | 没撞见我和JD在一起 |
| [01:25] | and walked in on J.D. and me, but I wasn’t. | 而感到如释重负 |
| [01:27] | I wish he had caught us, because the truth is… | 我希望他抓奸在床 因为说心里话 |
| [01:32] | I don’t want to marry him. | 我不想嫁给他 |
| [01:33] | Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
| [01:36] | Honestly, I think I let it get this far | 说实话 我感觉我跟他能走到这一步 |
| [01:38] | because of how much I want to be married, you know? | 完全是因为我太想嫁人了 |
| [01:41] | God, I want to be married. | 天啊 我很想嫁人 |
| [01:43] | Baby… | 亲爱的 |
| [01:45] | Hey, I’m sorry for barging in so late. | 抱歉这么晚来拜访你们 |
| [01:47] | I hope I didn’t interrupt anything important. | 希望没有打扰到什么重要的事 |
| [01:49] | Actually, since I’m diabetic, | 实际上 因为我有糖尿病 |
| [01:52] | Carla only lets me eat one candy bar every six months, | Carla只允许我半年吃一条糖 |
| [01:54] | so she was helping me choose which one to go with. | 所以她在帮我决定应该选哪种糖 |
| [01:58] | First, we cut out all candy that sounds remotely racist, | 首先 我们排除了所有沾上种族歧视边的糖 |
| [02:01] | which includes all dark chocolate | 包括了所有黑巧克力类 |
| [02:03] | and I know this sounds weird, but JuJuBes. | 还有我知道这听起来很怪 但枣味软糖 |
| [02:06] | Then Carla was like, | 之后Carla就说 |
| [02:08] | “Well, what about Junior Mints?” And I was like, “Junior Mints? | “那Junior Mints怎样” 我说”Junior Mints” |
| [02:10] | “Baby, if I want my candy to freshen my breath, | “宝贝 如果我想用糖让我口气清新” |
| [02:13] | “I’ll just slap some toothpaste on a Whatchamacallit bar | “我还不如直接挤点牙膏在Whatchamacallit棒上” |
| [02:15] | “And go to town on that bad boy!” | “然后跟它覆雨翻云了” |
| [02:17] | You know what I’m saying? | 你知道我在说什么吗 |
| [02:22] | She knows I’m changing the subject ’cause she’s sad. | 她明白我是因为她伤心才转移话题的 |
| [02:25] | Come here. Come here, Elliot. | 过来吧 Elliot |
| [02:31] | No. | 没了 |
| [02:33] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [02:35] | What did he ask you? | 他问你什么了 |
| [02:37] | Oh, he just wanted to know if there was anything I needed. | 他只是想问下我还需要些什么 |
| [02:40] | Elliot Elliot. | |
| [02:41] | He asked me if they still make Mars Bars. | 他想知道火星巧克力棒还有没有人生产 |
| [02:49] | Come on, Bob, there’s an empty table right there. | Bob 拜托 那边还有空桌的 |
| [02:51] | I’ll leave for $ 10. | 给我十块钱就走 |
| [02:54] | Pleasure doing business. | 与你交易很愉快 |
| [02:58] | Hey, friend. | 朋友 你好啊 |
| [02:59] | What, are you bored up there? | 上帝啊 你是无聊了吗 |
| [03:00] | So, how’d it go with Keith? | 你跟Keith怎么样了 |
| [03:03] | I haven’t told him yet. | 我还没跟他说呢 |
| [03:04] | His whole family is in town for the wedding, | 他全家人都为了婚礼过来了 |
| [03:06] | and so my house is filled to the frickin’ rafters | 就像在我家填满了 |
| [03:07] | with Dudemeisters. | Dudemeisters牌柱子一样 |
| [03:09] | You know how my college girlfriend Stacy broke up with me? | 你知道我的大学女友Stacy是怎么跟我分手的吗 |
| [03:12] | She arranged it so that | 她安排好一切 |
| [03:13] | when I came home from class i was able to see her | 让我一下课回来就看到 |
| [03:15] | writhing in pleasure beneath a big brown butt. | 她在一个棕色大屁股下快乐地扭动着 |
| [03:18] | How many times do I have to apologise for that? | 我还要道歉多少次啊 |
| [03:19] | I still have nightmares about your cheeks, Turk. | Turk 我还会做你双臀的噩梦 |
| [03:21] | Just bouncing and bouncing… | 动来动去 |
| [03:24] | I can’t sleep. | 因为这都睡不着 |
| [03:28] | Good to see you. | 很高兴见到你 |
| [03:30] | Okay, now or never. | 好的 机不可失 |
| [03:35] | Keith Keith! | |
| [03:36] | Hey there, future Mrs Dudemeister. | 你好啊 未来Dudemeister太太 |
| [03:39] | Actually, I’m not sure we decided whether or not | 事实上 我们还没讨论 |
| [03:40] | I’m going to take your last name. | 我婚后是否要跟你姓你呢 |
| [03:42] | You know what? That’s not important. | 好吧 这不重要 |
| [03:43] | Keith, we need to talk. | Keith 我们需要谈一谈 |
| [03:47] | What’s the matter? | 怎么了 |
| [03:49] | I don’t even know how to start this. | 我都不知道从何说起 |
| [03:52] | Keith, I’ve been thinking. | Keith 我一直在想 |
| [03:57] | I don’t feel right watching this. | 感觉围观这个不是很好 |
| [03:59] | It’s not just us. | 又不仅仅是我们 |
| [04:12] | That’s it. It’s over. | 就这样了 结束了 |
| [04:17] | JD J.D! | |
| [04:19] | No, Snoop Dogg Attending finally told Josephine how he feels. | 不是 Snoop Dogg主治医生终于向Josephine表白了 |
| [04:29] | Hey, everybody, look. A rainbow. | 大伙儿快看 有彩虹 |
| [04:48] | It had been a while since my near-kiss with Elliot | 距离我差点儿亲到Elliot这事儿已经有一段时间了了 |
| [04:51] | and the dust was finally starting to settle. | 尘埃终于开始落定了 |
| [04:54] | Daddy’s home! | 爸爸回家啦 |
| [04:55] | Come here! Check out these big pregnant hippo feet. | 快过来 看看这双河马孕妇脚 |
| [04:58] | Wow, those are truly disgusting. | 这真的很恶心 |
| [05:00] | Right? I missed you. | 对吧 我想你了 |
| [05:04] | Elliot had broken up with Keith | Elliot跟Keith分手了 |
| [05:05] | and everything looked great for me and Kim. | 我跟Kim似乎也进展得很顺利 |
| [05:08] | Still, to see how we got there, I have to go back a week. | 不过 我们是怎么做到的呢 这要回溯到一个星期前 |
| [05:15] | So, how’s Keith? | Keith怎么样了 |
| [05:17] | Carla. Pig-Whore. | Carla 猪婊子 |
| [05:19] | Better, actually. It used to be “Stupid Pig-Whore.” | 好很多了 之前还是”蠢猪婊子” |
| [05:21] | It’s only been a few days and he’s already dropped an adjective. | 才过了几天 他就放下一个形容词了 |
| [05:24] | Wow. Maybe by the weekend you’ll just be “Whore.” | 可能这个周末 你就只是”婊子”了 |
| [05:27] | Hey, Kim, I know because of work I haven’t seen you in a while, | Kim 我知道因为工作关系很久没见你了 |
| [05:29] | but do you mind if I grab a drink with Turk tonight? | 但你介意我跟Turk今晚去喝几杯吗 |
| [05:31] | Tell her my dad died. | 跟她说我爸死了 |
| [05:33] | Go have fun with your friend. I’m gonna stay in and eat. | 跟你的朋友玩开心点 我要待在家里吃 |
| [05:35] | Thanks, babe. Bye. | 谢啦 宝贝 再见 |
| [05:37] | See, Turk? Now we can save that dad dying thing | 看到没 Turk 我们可以把老爸去世的理由 |
| [05:39] | to go see the new panda baby at the zoo. | 留着到动物园看熊猫宝宝用 |
| [05:42] | Oh, it’s too late for that. She died. | 不 太晚了 她死了 |
| [05:44] | Not Ming-Ming. | 不会是明明吧 |
| [05:45] | Her mama sat on her and then ate her. | 她妈妈坐在她身上然后吃了她 |
| [05:48] | Stupid nature. | 讨厌的自然法则 |
| [05:49] | I can’t believe I almost messed things up with Kim. | 真不敢相信我差点跟Kim搞砸了 |
| [05:51] | What is wrong with me? | 我这是怎么了 |
| [05:53] | You’re an annoying, whiny man-child. | 你是个讨人厌又爱发牢骚的小屁孩 |
| [05:55] | That question wasn’t directed at you. | 我不是在问你 |
| [05:57] | What question? | 什么问题 |
| [05:58] | Mr Hutnik, | Hutnik先生 |
| [06:00] | I see here you were admitted | 你被确诊了 |
| [06:01] | for swollen lymph nodes and abdominal pain. | 淋巴肿大和腹痛 |
| [06:04] | I’m also having heart palpitations. | 我还有心悸 |
| [06:06] | Well, I think I can help you with that one. | 这个我能帮你 |
| [06:07] | You see, I’m very, very handsome. | 看 我超级超级英俊 无所不能 |
| [06:10] | I was gonna say. | 我还想这么说来着 |
| [06:12] | – Beardface? What do you say? – It’s Beardface. | – 胡须脸 你说呢 – 我的名字是浒绪练 |
| [06:16] | Why do you people insist on calling me Beardface? | 你们这帮家伙为什么老是叫我胡须脸 |
| [06:20] | – May I? – Go for it. | – 我可以试试么 – 试亦无妨 |
| [06:21] | Well, I just got here, but if I had to guess, | 我刚到这里 但是猜的话 |
| [06:23] | I would say it’s because your face is, like, five-sixths beard. | 我猜是因为你的脸上的胡须覆盖率是六分之五 |
| [06:27] | Damn you! | 去你的 |
| [06:30] | Carla, which resident ordered a CAT scan on Mr Hirsch last night? | Carla 哪个住院医师给Hirsch安排断层扫描的 |
| [06:32] | That would be me, Pig-Whore. It’s all in the notes. | 猪婊子 是我安排的 都在你的注意事项里了 |
| [06:35] | Aw, can’t Pig-Whore read? | 猪婊子不识字么 |
| [06:38] | Ha! Pig-Whore Read! | 猪婊子识字啊 |
| [06:40] | See, your last name’s Reid, so it works two ways. | 你的姓是Reid 所以一不小心双关了 |
| [06:42] | Keith’s being totally unprofessional. | Keith表现地很不专业 |
| [06:44] | You were supposed to marry him last weekend. | 你本来上周末要嫁给人家的 |
| [06:47] | Speaking of which, I gave you a very high-end cappuccino maker | 说到婚礼 我买了部高端咖啡机给你 |
| [06:52] | and seeing as there aren’t going to be any nuptials… | 既然婚礼取消了 |
| [06:53] | Yeah, yeah, you’ll get it back. | 好 好 会还给你的 |
| [06:55] | Great. | 棒极了 |
| [06:56] | Look, Keith and I have to work together. | Keith和我还要一起工作 |
| [06:58] | – How am I supposed to fix this? – You can’t. | – 我要怎么补救啊 – 你什么都做不了 |
| [07:01] | You just gotta let him hate you for a while. | 你只能任由他恨你一阵子 |
| [07:03] | No, we can get through this. | 不 我们可以迈过这道坎儿的 |
| [07:05] | I’m going to go talk to him. | 我要去跟他谈谈 |
| [07:07] | Hey, wait a minute. We only got one cappuccino maker | 等等 我只收到一部咖啡机 |
| [07:09] | and it was from my brother, Barry. | 还是我哥哥Barry送的 |
| [07:11] | Worth a shot. | 不妨一试 |
| [07:12] | So, are you gonna answer me or not? | 你还回不回答我的问题 |
| [07:14] | Come on, man. You know why you almost screwed things up with Kim. | 伙计 你跟Kim的问题 自己心知肚明好吧 |
| [07:17] | – Don’t make me say it. – All right, fine. | – 别逼我说出口 – 好吧 |
| [07:18] | The Harsh Truth Rule is in effect. | “残酷事实原理”生效了 |
| [07:19] | I’ll lay a harsh truth on you, so when you lay one on me | 我说一个你的残酷事实 你还我一个 |
| [07:22] | – you won’t feel guilty. – J.D., we don’t need… | – 让自己不感到内疚 – JD 我们之间不需要 |
| [07:23] | When you sweat a lot, you smell like eggs. | 你出很多汗的时候闻起来像鸡蛋 |
| [07:26] | That’s not even true. | 这根本不是真的 |
| [07:29] | Did Carla tell you to say that? | Carla要你这么讲的吗 |
| [07:30] | No, why? Does she think that, too? | 不是 怎么 她也这么想吗 |
| [07:33] | No. | 不是 |
| [07:35] | All right, fine. | 好吧 |
| [07:36] | You want to know why you almost blew it with Kim? | 你想知道为什么差点跟Kim玩砸吗 |
| [07:38] | It’s because you knocked her up on your first date | 这是因为你跟她的第一次约会就搞出了”人命” |
| [07:39] | and before you could get to know her, she betrayed you. | 她在你们有进一步深入了解之前就背叛了你 |
| [07:43] | And now you don’t have strong feelings for her, | 现在你对她并没有什么感觉 |
| [07:44] | and the only reason why you guys are still together | 你们还在一起的唯一原因 |
| [07:46] | is because there’s a kid involved. | 就是因为你们之间有个孩子 |
| [07:48] | Which means you’re gonna stick it out with her till the end, | 说明她会跟你纠缠到最后 |
| [07:50] | whether you love her or not. | 无论你是否爱她 |
| [07:53] | I don’t know, man. I don’t think that’s true. | 我不知道 我觉得这不是真的 |
| [07:54] | I don’t think it’s about her. I think it’s about me. | 这不是她的问题 是我的问题 |
| [07:56] | I have sabotaged every relationship I’ve ever been in. | 我亲手毁了我的每一段关系 |
| [07:59] | Look at it. Molebutt, Tina-Two-Kids, | 想想看 “屁股大颗痣” “双子Tina” |
| [08:01] | Rumplefugly, Gift Shop Girl… | “皱纹丑八怪” “礼品店女孩” |
| [08:03] | None of those girls were good for you anyway. | 反正这些女孩也不适合你 |
| [08:06] | Well, except for Molebutt. | 除了”屁股大颗痣” |
| [08:08] | I don’t even know if Rumplefugly was a girl. | 我都不清楚”皱纹丑八怪”是不是女儿身 |
| [08:09] | Stop it. Fugs was awesome. | 别胡说 她超赞 |
| [08:13] | Lyme disease and how on earth | 你得了莱姆病 |
| [08:15] | could I possibly have figured out | 想知道我是怎么在这么短的时间内 |
| [08:18] | such a tough diagnosis so darn quickly? | 确诊的吗 |
| [08:19] | Because I’m that good. | 因为我就是那么厉害 |
| [08:21] | One more time for emphasis. I’m that good. | 再次强调 我就是那么厉害 |
| [08:26] | Now, I’m going to have this incredibly fun-sized intern | 现在我会让这个迷你装实习生 |
| [08:29] | give you a quick body check for tick bites. | 帮你快速做个身体检查 把你身上的蜱虫叮咬痕找出来 |
| [08:31] | Tippytoes! | “踮脚尖” |
| [08:33] | Oh, there she is. She’s cute. | 她在这啊 她真可爱 |
| [08:34] | And once she has found the tell-tale, bull’s-eye-shaped mark, | 在她找到那个典型的牛眼状咬痕之后 |
| [08:38] | we’ll be able to start treating you. | 我们就可以开始治疗了 |
| [08:39] | How does that sound, Mr Hutnik? | 这方法怎样 Hutnik先生 |
| [08:41] | Please, call me Joe. | 别 叫我Joe就可以了 |
| [08:50] | – I’ve got to get that guy out of here. – Why, is he a jerk? | – 我非要把这家伙赶走不可 – 怎么 他是个混蛋吗 |
| [08:52] | No, I… I think I like him. | 不是 我觉得我喜欢这病人 |
| [08:56] | – What smells like eggs? | – 怎么有股鸡蛋的味道 |
| [08:57] | – Nothing, sir. You’re imagining it. | – 先生 没什么 你在胡思乱想罢了 |
| [08:59] | What’s wrong with liking a patient? | 喜欢一个病人有什么问题 |
| [09:00] | I’m not you. I don’t get to introduce myself to patients, | 我不是你 我不需要给病人介绍自己 |
| [09:03] | do a minor surgery, recommend a good mortician to the family | 做个小外科手术 给他们的家人推荐个好的殡仪业者 |
| [09:06] | and then just be on my way. I have to treat people. | 就没事一身轻了 我得用心医治他们 |
| [09:09] | And if I like them, well, | 但假如我喜欢他们的话 |
| [09:10] | that makes me want to work all that much harder. | 我就会加倍努力工作 |
| [09:13] | And really, who has time for that, right? | 谁有那么多时间做这事啊 |
| [09:16] | Seriously, am I having a stroke or is someone making an omelette? | 说真的 是我中风了还是有人在做煎蛋卷 |
| [09:27] | Hey, Keith. | Keith 你好 |
| [09:29] | You came to your house while I’m packing up my stuff, | 真棒 你在我执包袱走的时候回家了 |
| [09:31] | even though you promised not to be here. Awesome. | 虽然你保证过不会回这里了 |
| [09:34] | Well, you know you can’t take my word. | 你也知道我说的话不能相信 |
| [09:36] | I mean, I also promised I’d marry you last Saturday, right? | 我还说上周六嫁给你呢 对吧 |
| [09:40] | Right? | 对吧 |
| [09:42] | I know, too soon. I’m sorry. | 玩笑开太早了 抱歉 |
| [09:45] | But, come on, we love “Too soon” Jokes. | 别这样 我们喜欢”玩笑开太早”这样的笑话 |
| [09:48] | Come on now. Let’s see the chuckle. Huh? | 快给我来个咯咯笑 |
| [09:53] | Here it comes. | 这才对嘛 |
| [09:55] | I think I see it bubbling up. | 看来你笑了 |
| [09:58] | Do not make me start laughing, | 别让我放声大笑 |
| [09:59] | because you know that if I start laughing | 你知道如果我放声大笑 |
| [10:02] | then you’ll start laughing. | 你就会放声大笑 |
| [10:07] | Okay, you know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [10:08] | This is why it was so easy to walk out on you. | 我可能因为这样才这么容易抛弃你 |
| [10:13] | So I finally figured out what’s wrong with me. | 我终于知道我是怎么一会事了 |
| [10:15] | You’re an annoying, whiny man-child. | 你是个讨人厌又爱发牢骚的小屁孩 |
| [10:18] | I’m a self-saboteur. | 我是个自毁倾向者 |
| [10:20] | And not just in relationships, in everything. | 不仅仅在男女关系上 在所有事上都是如此 |
| [10:22] | But you know what? I’m done with all that. | 你知道吗 一切都结束了 |
| [10:24] | I’m not going to shoot myself in the foot any more. | 我不会再作茧自缚了 |
| [10:27] | – What is it, fun-size? – I checked Mr Hutnik all over, | – 什么事 迷你装 – 我为Hutnik先生全身检查过 |
| [10:30] | – but I couldn’t find a tick bite. – Oh, my God. | – 但我找不到蜱虫咬痕 – 天啊 |
| [10:33] | I gotta go figure this out. I can’t believe it. | 我要搞清楚 真不敢相信 |
| [10:35] | Oh, and by the way, you have a ridiculous speaking voice. | 顺便说下 你的声音既奇葩又荒谬 |
| [10:40] | And even though I wanted to ask Snoop | 虽然我想问Snoop Dogg |
| [10:41] | how he could spend a second listening to that voice | 是怎么能忍着听她在耳边说话 |
| [10:43] | without killing himself, | 却不自杀的 |
| [10:44] | I didn’t. | 但我没问 |
| [10:45] | Yep, no more bringing trouble my way by saying things like… | 我不会再因为乱说话给自己惹上麻烦 |
| [10:48] | – Who are the flowers for? – My girlfriend. | – 这花给谁的 – 我女朋友 |
| [10:51] | – You have a girlfriend? – Just ’cause I’m a janitor | – 你有女朋友 – 就因为我是个清洁工 |
| [10:53] | means no woman could possibly be attracted to me? | 就不可能有女人爱上我吗 |
| [10:56] | No. | 不是 |
| [10:57] | Yes. | 就是 |
| [10:58] | There she is right down there. | 她就在那 |
| [11:02] | Really? What’s her name? | 真的 她叫什么 |
| [11:05] | Lady. | 女士 |
| [11:07] | – Lady? – You don’t believe me? | – “女士” – 你不信我 |
| [11:09] | Well, let’s just say you’ve lied to me before. | 反正你对我撒过谎 |
| [11:11] | Watch this. | 看着吧 |
| [11:13] | Hey, Lady! | 女士 |
| [11:18] | Stay there! Don’t… Don’t come down here. | 站那儿就好 不 不用走过来了 |
| [11:20] | I’ll give these to you later. | 我等下给你 |
| [11:24] | Your witness. | 眼见为实 |
| [11:27] | Just pick a candy, T-Dawg. | Turk帅哥 随便选一个糖果就好 |
| [11:28] | Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
| [11:29] | You have no idea how important this is to me. | 你不懂这件事的重要性 |
| [11:34] | And then I had this weird, crystallising moment. | 之后 出现了一种奇怪的”水晶时刻” |
| [11:40] | I realised I didn’t have to choose the candy. | 我忽然意识到我不用选糖果 |
| [11:45] | – I could just let the candy choose me. – So what’d you get? | – 我可以让糖果选择我 – 你拿了什么糖 |
| [11:48] | – Bit-O-Honey. – Oh, I’m so, so sorry. | – Bit-O-Honey – 很遗憾 |
| [11:51] | Don’t be. I ate that bad boy an hour and a half ago, | 别呀 我一个半小时前就吃了这 |
| [11:54] | and I’m still pulling bits-o-it outta my teeth. | 现在还齿颊留”糖”呢 |
| [11:57] | Oh, my God, Gandh-idiot. Would we all be better served | 天啊 甘地笨蛋 我们怎样才能得到你更好的服务 |
| [12:00] | if we filled this patient with a creamy caramel centre? | 用焦糖奶油涂满这个病人吗 |
| [12:02] | Then would you tell me whether or not he needs surgery? | 难道这样你就能诊断出他是否需要手术吗 |
| [12:04] | It’s not an acute abdomen, so it’s not a surgical issue. | 不是急腹症 所以不需要动手术 |
| [12:07] | Why can’t anyone figure out what’s wrong with me? | 怎么没人能找出我的毛病 |
| [12:09] | I won’t let you down. | 我不会让你失望的 |
| [12:12] | I’m sorry I couldn’t help, Mr Hutnik. | Hutnik先生 抱歉帮不了你 |
| [12:14] | Oh, please. Call me Joe. | 别 叫我Joe就好了 |
| [12:21] | I am so psyched to call him Joe. | 能叫他Joe真是太兴奋了 |
| [12:23] | He’s got this magical quality to him. | 他真的有着神奇的魅力 |
| [12:25] | – Boy, you’re telling me. – What can I do to help? | – 可不是嘛 – 我能做些什么来帮他 |
| [12:28] | Gumball, I honestly don’t know | Gumball 我真的不知道 |
| [12:30] | – what to do next. – I do. | – 接下来该干些什么 – 我知道 |
| [12:32] | Some phrases sting, no matter how they’re said. | 有些话很伤人 无论用什么方式说出来 |
| [12:35] | They can be barked by a sworn enemy. | 这些话可能是一个是死敌说的 |
| [12:37] | Get the hell out of here! | 滚出这里 |
| [12:42] | Or hissed by a jilted ex stealing a lamp. | 或者是一个偷台灯的苦逼前任说的 |
| [12:45] | Elliot, just get the hell out of here! | Elliot 滚出这里吧 |
| [12:49] | Or even plainly stated in a veteran doctor’s soothing tone. | 又或者是一个资深医师和蔼地说 |
| [12:53] | Goodbye, everybody. I’ll see you tomorrow! | 再见 各位 明天见 |
| [12:56] | Not her. | 不是这货 |
| [12:57] | Fellas, if his symptoms have subsided | 伙计们 如果他症状消退了 |
| [13:00] | and you can’t find an underlying cause, | 却又找不到根本病因 |
| [13:02] | his insurance won’t cover him. | 他的医保就帮不了他了 |
| [13:04] | You have to tell Mr Hutnik to get the hell out of here. | 你们必须请Hutnik先生滚出这里 |
| [13:15] | Hey, Joe. | 你好 Joe |
| [13:20] | When someone tells you to get the hell out, | 当某人叫你滚的时候 |
| [13:21] | you don’t have a lot of options. | 你没有多少选择的余地 |
| [13:23] | You can ignore them… | 你可以无视他们 |
| [13:24] | Where are you taking me? | 你们要带我去哪 |
| [13:25] | Joe, we are turfing you | Joe 我们要秘密转移你到皮肤科 |
| [13:26] | to dermatology to buy ourselves some time. | 替我们争取点时间 |
| [13:28] | Gandhi, how’s that mole looking? | 甘地 那颗痣怎样 |
| [13:30] | – Nice and cancerous. – Well done. | – 完美得像癌 – 棒极了 |
| [13:34] | Or you can take a more direct approach. | 又或者用一种更直接的方法 |
| [13:35] | – No, Keith, I’m not leaving. – Oh, awesome. | – 不 Keith 我不会走的 – 哦 好极了 |
| [13:40] | Why does it have to be like this? | 为什么我们之间一定要这样呢 |
| [13:42] | I care about you so much. | 我很关心你 |
| [13:46] | I don’t want to lose you from my life. | 我不想你从我的生命中消失 |
| [13:48] | Well, you’re going to, | 那你可失望了 |
| [13:49] | because from now on, Pig-Whore, you’re dead to me. | 因为从现在开始 猪婊子 对我来说你已经死了 |
| [13:59] | – You did what? – I know. I am a pig-whore. | – 你做了什么 – 对 我就是个猪婊子 |
| [14:05] | What am I going to do now? | 我现在应该怎么办 |
| [14:07] | Could you two kindly shut your respective cake holes? | 可以请你们两个闭上樱桃小嘴吗 |
| [14:09] | We’re trying to figure out what’s wrong with Joe here. | 我们在认真找Joe的毛病呢 |
| [14:12] | Big news, sports fans! | 大新闻 运动迷们 |
| [14:14] | I’ve decided to start calling everyone “Sports fans.” | 我决定开始称呼大家做”运动迷” |
| [14:18] | Yeah, I know I’m not exactly the jock-y type, | 没错 我知道我不是那类人 |
| [14:20] | but I watched Hoosiers last night, | 我昨晚看了电影<火爆教头草地兵> |
| [14:22] | and I like sports now. | 现在我喜欢运动了 |
| [14:25] | Anybody have any objections? Marjorie? | 有人有异议吗 Marjorie也没有吗 |
| [14:28] | Shocking. You’re usually the one who has | 真是怪啊 一般你是那个 |
| [14:31] | something to say about everything… | 最喜欢讲是非的人啊 |
| [14:34] | I know you’re the one that started the rumour that I like dudes. | 我知道你是最早谣传我是基佬的人 |
| [14:38] | All right, sports fans. | 好了 运动迷 |
| [14:39] | I’ve almost gone an entire day without sabotaging myself. | 我已经快过了没有自毁的一天了 |
| [14:44] | Hello? | 怎么样 |
| [14:45] | That’s it! | 够了 |
| [14:46] | Ladies and gentlemen, | 女士们先生们 |
| [14:48] | welcome to the First Annual Sacred Heart Who-Caresies Awards, | 欢迎莅临第一届年度圣心”谁在乎”颁奖典礼 |
| [14:51] | designed to honour those people | 这个典礼是为了致敬那些 |
| [14:53] | who believe that others actually give a rat’s ass | 相信别人会真的关注 |
| [14:55] | about the minutiae of their lives. | 他们那些鸡毛蒜皮的事的人 |
| [14:58] | The weird thing was, I think we all really wanted to win. | 奇怪的是 我觉得我们都想赢 |
| [15:01] | And the nominees are Barbie Reid for | 提名的有Barbie Reid |
| [15:05] | “What Am I Going To Do About My Ex-Fiance?” | “我要怎么处理跟前未婚夫的关系” |
| [15:10] | Dame Judy Dorian for “I’m Done Self-Sabotaging.” | Judy Dorian夫人 “我不再自毁” |
| [15:16] | Gandhi for “I’ve Got Candy In My Teeth.” | 甘地 “齿颊留糖” |
| [15:22] | The Todd for “Look At My New Shirt!” | Todd “快看我的新T恤” |
| [15:30] | And the winner is… | 获奖的是 |
| [15:33] | Dame Judy Dorian. | Judy Dorian夫人 |
| [15:36] | This is Dame Judy Dorian’s first nomination and first win. | 这是Judy Dorian夫人首次提名并获奖 |
| [15:43] | Suck on that, Tony Shalhoub. | 一边酸去吧 Tony Shalhoub |
| [15:46] | Perry, why the hell is Hutnik still here? | Perry 怎么Hutnik还在这 |
| [15:49] | – Put him on the street. – You win. But would you do us a favour | – 把他弄出去 – 你赢了 但你能帮我们个忙 |
| [15:52] | and you deliver the news to Hutnik yourself? | 你亲自跟他讲吗 |
| [15:54] | I’d be glad to. | 乐意之极 |
| [15:59] | Hi, I’m Bob Kelso. Mr Hutnik, is it? | 您好 我是Bob Kelso 是Hutnik先生吧 |
| [16:02] | Please, call me Joe. | 别 叫我Joe就好了 |
| [16:11] | Think, fellas, think! | 想 伙计们 快想 |
| [16:13] | We have to figure out what’s wrong with Joe. | 我们一定要找出Joe的病症 |
| [16:16] | I’ve done it. An entire day without sabotaging myself. | 我做到了 没有自毁地过完一整天 |
| [16:20] | I’m sorry, but I don’t even know who you are. | 不好意思 但我根本不认识你是谁 |
| [16:24] | Well, that seems like a | 这个很奇怪 根本不像 |
| [16:25] | strange thing for a girlfriend to say, isn’t it? | 一个女朋友该讲的话啊 不是吗 |
| [16:29] | Hold on one second, I have to grab this. | 等等 我要接个电话 |
| [16:30] | Yello? Oh, yes, he’s here. | 你好 是的 他在 |
| [16:33] | It’s “The Truth” Calling. It wants to know why you never tell it. | “真相”打来了 它想知道你为什么不把它讲出来 |
| [16:38] | I mean, really, who are you? A necklace with my name on it? | 说真的 你是谁啊 送我的项链上还有我的名字 |
| [16:43] | The man I met was sweet, but I had no idea how sweet. | 我知道你很贴心 但是没想到会这么贴心 |
| [16:49] | You’re gonna get some! Ha! | 我要任你处置了 |
| [16:54] | Just had to do the phone bit, didn’t you? | 你一定要说那个电话段子 是吧 |
| [16:57] | – Her name’s Lady? – Yeah. | – 她的名字是”女士” – 如假包换 |
| [16:59] | – Who’s named Lady? – She is. | – 谁会取这种名字 – 她啊 |
| [17:01] | She’s got a brother named “Him.” What do you care? | 她有个哥哥叫”他” 你瞎操心什么 |
| [17:04] | Seriously, why do you force me to make your life miserable? | 说真的 为什么你要逼我让你受苦呢 |
| [17:07] | And I really didn’t have an answer for him. | 我当时真的不知道该如何回答他 |
| [17:10] | You know what I don’t have an answer for? | 你知道我不知道什么吗 |
| [17:11] | Why I’m going line dancing with Keith tonight. Stupid Pig-Whore. | 为什么我今晚要跟Keith跳排排舞 蠢猪婊子 |
| [17:15] | J.D., you’re not that self-destructive. | JD 你没那么有自毁倾向 |
| [17:17] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [17:18] | I was gonna suggest he seek professional help. | 我还想推荐他找专业帮助呢 |
| [17:22] | Would you be interested in seeing a cognitive therapist? | 你想看一个认知治疗师吗 |
| [17:24] | ‘Cause I know a guy, he’s good. | 我认识一个很棒的 |
| [17:25] | I’m gonna give you his card, then I’m gonna bash your head in. | 我会给你他的卡片 然后把你的头埋进去 |
| [17:27] | – I’ll see you in the morning. – I’m in at 7:00. | – 明早见 – 我明天七点回来 |
| [17:29] | Wear a helmet. | 记得戴头盔 |
| [17:31] | Screw it. I’m just going to marry Keith. | 去他的 我要嫁给Keith |
| [17:34] | Maybe he’ll die young. | 可能他会早死呢 |
| [17:35] | When did we become such ridiculous, pathetic people? | 我们什么时候变成这么可悲荒谬的人 |
| [17:38] | Why do you two think you’re that different from anyone else? | 为什么你们觉得自己这么”与众不同”呢 |
| [17:40] | J.D., I get in my own way all the time. | JD 我也经常固执己见 |
| [17:42] | Like this morning, I was | 就像今天早上 |
| [17:43] | running late and I got toothpaste on my upper lip. | 我差点迟到还有牙膏在上唇 |
| [17:45] | And even though I knew Turk was watching, | 我知道Turk在看着我 |
| [17:48] | I didn’t wipe it off with my hand. | 我没有用手把它擦掉 |
| [17:49] | I went like this… | 我是这样擦掉的 |
| [17:51] | Oh, morning. | 早上好 |
| [17:54] | And, Elliot, I’m sorry, but you are not the first person | Elliot 很抱歉 但是你不是第一个 |
| [17:57] | to ever sleep with their ex, okay? | 跟前任滚床单的人 |
| [17:59] | Is there a point to this? | 这话有重点吗 |
| [18:01] | Yes. And pay attention, because I don’t want to be | 有 注意了 因为我不想 |
| [18:04] | saying the same thing again in two weeks. | 两周内再次重复这句话 |
| [18:07] | You’re both human. | 你们都是凡人 |
| [18:09] | Give yourselves a break, okay? | 放松点 好吗 |
| [18:24] | Fair enough. | 好吧 |
| [18:25] | I can’t look at these medical books any more. | 我不能再看这些书了 |
| [18:28] | We’re getting nowhere. | 我们毫无头绪啊 |
| [18:30] | – What it do, Beardface? – It’s Beardface! Beardface! | – 近来无恙吗 胡须脸 – 是浒绪练 浒绪练 |
| [18:35] | Calm down, Seymour. | 淡定点 Seymour |
| [18:37] | If you want to lose the nickname, you gotta shave the beard. | 如果不想别人用这个名字称呼你 就把胡须剃掉啊 |
| [18:41] | – Course, then you’d be Dr Face. – Ha! Dr Face. | – 当然啰 之后你就是脸医生了 – 哈哈 脸医生 |
| [18:46] | Damn you all! | 去你们的 |
| [18:48] | I wonder what he’s hiding under all that hair. | 我真想知道他毛发下面是什么 |
| [18:51] | That’s it. | 就是这个 |
| [18:52] | – What’s it? – Interns are idiots. Ockham’s razor. | – 什么 – 实习生都是笨蛋 奥卡姆剃刀原理 |
| [18:58] | There you are. Oh, do you want to go straight out | 你在这啊 你想直接到外面吃 |
| [19:00] | or do you want to go back to our place and grab some food first? | 还是先回家再吃 |
| [19:04] | We have to talk. | 我们需要谈谈 |
| [19:06] | Oh, my God. I can’t believe I have to do this again. | 天啊 真不敢相信还要再来一次 |
| [19:09] | Do what again, babe? | 什么再来一次 宝贝 |
| [19:17] | I feel so bad for them. | 真是替他难过 |
| [19:19] | Yeah, me, too. | 我也是 |
| [19:21] | Actually, I never really cared for Keith or his farm boy looks, | 实际上 我从来不关心Keith又或者他的乡村模样 |
| [19:25] | but now wasn’t the time for that. | 但现在不是说这话的时候 |
| [19:29] | Hey, Kim. | Kim 你好 |
| [19:30] | Get your butt home already. We haven’t seen each other in days. | 快回来 我们很久没见面了 |
| [19:34] | Don’t you miss me? | 你不想我吗 |
| [19:35] | Of course I do. | 当然想啊 |
| [19:37] | But the truth was I didn’t. | 其实我根本不想念她 |
| [19:39] | And then I had this weird, crystallising moment. | 之后那种奇怪的”水晶时刻”出现了 |
| [19:43] | You see, there’s an age-old principle | 有个古老的原则 |
| [19:45] | you hear a lot about in medicine, | 在医学上也经常听说 |
| [19:46] | that the simplest, | 就是看似最简单 |
| [19:47] | most obvious answer is usually the correct one. | 最明显的答案往往就是正确答案 |
| [19:50] | It’s called Ockham’s razor. | 这就是奥卡姆剃刀原理 |
| [19:53] | It could mean that your first instinct was right | 它可以说明你的第一直觉是对的 |
| [19:55] | and it was Lyme disease… | 就是莱姆病 |
| [19:57] | Bull’s-eye. And there’s your tick bite. | 牛眼 这就是蜱虫咬痕 |
| [19:59] | Let’s put him on 100 milligrams of Ceftin. | 给他上一百毫升新菌灵 |
| [20:00] | Joe, you’re gonna be fine. | Joe 你很快就会好起来的 |
| [20:03] | Thank you, guys. Sincerely. | 真心地谢谢你们 |
| [20:06] | Or that your best friend was right | 又或者你的好朋友说对了 |
| [20:08] | and you have to let your ex-fiance hate you for a while… | 你必须让你的前未婚夫恨你一阵子 |
| [20:11] | Good night, you skanky, straw-haired Pig-Whore. | 晚安 你这个讨厌的稻草头发蠢猪婊子 |
| [20:15] | Did you hear all the new adjectives? | 你听到那些新形容词吗 |
| [20:17] | Come here. You are not straw-haired. | 过来吧 你的头发才不是稻草 |
| [20:21] | I know. | 可不是嘛 |
| [20:25] | In my case, it was never about sabotaging myself. | 而对我来说 从来都不是我具有自毁倾向 |
| [20:28] | – Daddy’s home! – Come here. | – 爸爸回家啦 – 快过来 |
| [20:30] | Check out these big pregnant hippo feet. | 看看这双河马孕妇脚 |
| [20:33] | – Wow, those are truly disgusting. – Right? I missed you. | – 真的很恶心 – 对吧 我想你了 |
| [20:40] | It was the simple answer, just like Turk said. | 就像Turk说的一样 答案很简单 |
| [20:43] | I had knocked up a girl on our first date. | 我在跟她的第一次约会就搞出了”人命” |
| [20:45] | And I don’t have strong feelings for her and probably never will. | 我对她没什么感觉 可能永远也不会有了 |
| [20:49] | And the only reason we’re still together is because | 我们还在一起的唯一理由就是 |
| [20:50] | there’s a kid involved, | 我们之间有个孩子 |
| [20:52] | which means I’m gonna stay with her until the very end, | 说明我要跟她纠缠到最后 |
| [20:56] | whether I love her or not. | 无论我是否爱她 |