| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Okay, Mr. Rego, | 好了 Rego先生 |
| [00:05] | I know you’ve been complaining about the bedpans being too cold, | 我知道你一直抱怨便盆太凉 |
| [00:07] | so I used an incubator in | 所以我就用儿科的 |
| [00:08] | pediatrics to warm this bad boy up for you. Enjoy. | 婴儿恒温箱帮你加温过了 享用吧 |
| [00:14] | You know, I used to use an incubator to keep my lunch warm. | 知道吗 我以前都用恒温箱保温我的午餐 |
| [00:17] | Till some whiny new mom complained | 直到有个爱发牢骚的新生母亲 |
| [00:18] | that her preemie smelled like a ham sandwich. | 抱怨她的早产儿闻着像个火腿三明治 |
| [00:21] | Weird thing was, I had a tuna melt in there, not ham. | 怪的是 我里面放的是金枪鱼三明治 不是火腿的 |
| [00:24] | Most newborns smell amazing. An unlucky few are ham babies. | 多数新生儿都很香的 只有少数不幸的是火腿宝宝 |
| [00:29] | Oh! God, here comes the happiest person on the planet. | 噢 老天 地球上最快乐的人来了 |
| [00:33] | Hi! Hey! You look so beautiful today. | 嗨 嘿 你今天真漂亮 |
| [00:37] | Hi! Hi, Katie! | 嗨 嗨 Katie |
| [00:40] | All the interns are going out for drinks. Do you wanna come? | 实习生们都要出去喝一杯 你来吗 |
| [00:42] | Yeah, I’ll get my stuff. | 好啊 我去拿东西 |
| [00:44] | How about you, dude-chick? | 你呢 男人婆 |
| [00:46] | No, I’m gonna stay here and catch up on my scut work. | 不 我还是继续留这儿打杂吧 |
| [00:48] | You can try as hard as you want not to be my friend, | 你可以尽全力不成为我的朋友 |
| [00:50] | but eventually I’m gonna get you. Come on, Howie. | 但早晚我会把你拿下的 走吧 Howie |
| [00:52] | If I get drunk enough, I’ll undo my scrub bottoms | 如果我够醉的话 我会解开手术裤 |
| [00:54] | and let you do a shot off my butt. | 让你从我屁股上喝一杯 |
| [00:56] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [00:58] | I’ve noticed that you always stay here late | 我最近发现你总是待到很晚 |
| [01:00] | – and work after your shift is over. – I get a lot of work. | – 还自愿加班 – 我很多工作的 |
| [01:03] | If you don’t get out of the hospital every once in a while | 如果你不时不时走出医院 |
| [01:05] | and blow off some steam, this place will eventually crush you. | 透透气的话 这地方会让你崩溃的 |
| [01:08] | So go, okay? For me. | 就去吧 好吗 算是为了我 |
| [01:11] | – Fine. – Great. | – 行吧 – 这就好 |
| [01:15] | Oh, my God, Caitlin, that baby’s beautiful. | 噢 老天 Caitlin 这宝贝儿真是漂亮 |
| [01:20] | Ham baby. | 火腿宝宝 |
| [01:24] | What? Hell no. | 什么 他妈的见鬼了 |
| [01:33] | Got you. | 搞定 |
| [01:39] | Holy mackerel! | 好家伙 |
| [01:40] | Oh, my God. This can’t get any worse. | 噢 老天 还能更惨点儿么 |
| [01:43] | That is one long-ass booby hair. | 这根乳毛可真够长啊 |
| [01:49] | Like most hospitals, Sacred Heart makes their interns | 像诸多医院一样 圣心医院会让实习生们 |
| [01:52] | put on a sketch show roasting the senior staff. | 上演一场嘲弄资深医生的小品表演 |
| [01:55] | It was never any good, but this year it would be. | 向来都是惨不忍睹 但今年不会 |
| [01:58] | Okay, people, before we begin, | 好了 大伙儿 在开始前 |
| [02:00] | you need to accept one simple truth. | 你们需要接受一件简单的事实 |
| [02:03] | – We are funny, and you are not. – Sucks to hear, doesn’t it? | – 我们很幽默 可你们不是 – 听着挺不爽 是吧 |
| [02:07] | We will be writing all of your sketches. | 我们会帮你们写好所有的段子 |
| [02:09] | You’re welcome. Let’s jump right in. | 不客气 咱们开始吧 |
| [02:11] | I need two volunteers to go full frontal. Howie? | 先自愿上来两个正面全裸的 Howie |
| [02:14] | No, I have eczema. | 不行 我有湿疹 |
| [02:16] | Sunny, Denise? Maybe rubbing some oil on one another? | Sunny Denise 来给对方抹抹身体油什么的 |
| [02:19] | – Yeah, sure, no problem. – No, not at all. | – 好 没问题 – 不 死也不行 |
| [02:21] | Okay, well, then let’s cut the leukemia sketch. | 好吧 那白血病的段子就算了 |
| [02:24] | Dude, no, that sketch is gold. | 哥们儿 不要啊 那段子多精品啊 |
| [02:25] | Well, if they’re not naked, they’re just sad and dying. | 嗯 如果不裸体的的话 他们就只是悲哀的将死之人 |
| [02:27] | What’s funny about that? | 那有什么好笑的 |
| [02:29] | – We make them British. – Good save. | – 我们让他们扮成英国人 – 好主意 |
| [02:31] | It’s back in, but only because this man is a comic genius. | 白血病段子回归 多亏这哥们儿是个喜剧天才 |
| [02:34] | I have been called the black Wayne Brady. | 人称我为黑人Wayne Brady |
| [02:37] | Okay, try and believe in us, guys. | 好了 试着相信我们吧 大伙儿 |
| [02:39] | This thing has not been | 这事已经无聊 |
| [02:40] | funny for eight years, when we were interns. | 八年了 那时我们还是实习生呢 |
| [02:45] | I love Jesus And, Jesus, he loves me | 我爱耶稣 耶稣 他也爱我 |
| [02:49] | One, two, three, Jesus! | 一 二 三 耶稣 |
| [02:53] | – I sure do love me some Jesus. – I know, Laverne. | – 我真是很爱耶稣啊 – 我知道 Laverne |
| [02:57] | You rang? | 叫我了 |
| [02:58] | The Messiah, ladies and gentlemen. The Messiah. | 弥赛亚 女士们先生们 弥赛亚 |
| [03:01] | Shalom and nanu-nanu, my friends. | 您们好啊 朋友们 |
| [03:04] | – Oh! Hell no. – Front row. | – 噢 想都别想 – 前排的 |
| [03:10] | There will be a 20-minute intermission. | 接下来是20分钟的中场休息 |
| [03:13] | I never saw her coming. | 没想到她会冲上台 |
| [03:15] | She was killed in a car accident. I miss her. | 她死于一场车祸 我想念她 |
| [03:18] | Anyway, let’s be funny for her. | 不论如何 我们幽默起来吧 为了天上的她 |
| [03:38] | Hey, will you hand me those blood gas reports, Sonja? | 嘿 你能把血气检测的结果给我么 Sonja |
| [03:40] | You can call me “Sunny.” | 你可以叫我”Sunny”(阳光的) |
| [03:42] | My dad nicknamed me that because he said I brighten up a room. | 我爸给我起的绰号 他说我可以照亮整个房间 |
| [03:45] | Of course, in college, I had a few dark years. | 当然 在大学时候 我也有过几年黑暗时期 |
| [03:47] | My car was stolen, I had three… | 我车被偷了 我做过三次 |
| [03:50] | Was it three? No, four. I had four abortions. | 是三次吧 不 四次 我做过四次人流 |
| [03:55] | I’m joking! | 开玩笑的 |
| [03:58] | I’m gonna kill you with a hammer. | 我要用拿锤子砸死你 |
| [04:01] | – Why are you laughing? – ‘Cause I’m scared. I’m not that strong. | – 你笑什么 – 因为我害怕 我没那么坚强 |
| [04:06] | So, how was last night, Denise? | 昨晚过得怎么样 Denise |
| [04:08] | I ended up staying here and finishing my casework. | 我还是留在这儿完成我的个案报告了 |
| [04:11] | What the hell? | 搞什么 |
| [04:12] | At least with my patients, I’m used to being ignored. | 至少对于我的病人 我已经习惯被无视了 |
| [04:15] | Like with Mr. Cooper after his triple bypass. | 就像Cooper先生做完三重心脏搭桥手术后 |
| [04:17] | I told him to start eating healthier, | 我告诉他要开始健康的饮食 |
| [04:19] | he goes right back to scarfing down bacon burgers. | 结果他一回去就猛吞培根汉堡 |
| [04:21] | And you wanna know where he is now, Denise? | 想知道他现在怎样了吗 Denise |
| [04:24] | – He’s dead, isn’t he? – No, he just moved back to Phoenix. | – 他死了 是不是 – 没 他只是搬回到凤凰城了 |
| [04:28] | I was going to say that he was dead, | 我本来想说他死了的 |
| [04:29] | but I think saying that about | 但我觉得说还活着的人 |
| [04:30] | people who are still alive is a huge jinx. | 死了会招来巨大的厄运 |
| [04:32] | Look, when I kicked you out of the hospital last night… | 听着 我昨晚撵你走 |
| [04:36] | Please don’t be Mr. Cooper dead. Please don’t be Mr. Cooper dead. | 千万别是Cooper先生的死讯 千万别 |
| [04:40] | Nope, just my mom. Ignore. | 没 只是我妈 拒接 |
| [04:42] | Look, I promise I’ll get out of the hospital tonight. Okay? | 听着 我保证今晚走 好吗 |
| [04:45] | Deal. Now come on. I want you guys both to see this case. | 说定了 来吧 我想让你俩看看这病例 |
| [04:48] | She’s a 16-year-old girl with cyclical neutropenia. | 她是个16岁患有周期嗜中性白血球减少症的少女 |
| [04:51] | It’s a rare disorder that | 这是种罕见的周期性 |
| [04:52] | periodically shuts down her entire immune system. | 关闭其整个免疫系统的功能失调 |
| [04:55] | Basically, every three weeks she almost dies. | 基本上 每三周她都要濒死一次 |
| [04:58] | Hey, Brianna, Mrs. Tarasi. | 嘿 Brianna Tarasi女士 |
| [05:00] | Just wanted to introduce you to Sunny and Denise. | 来向你们介绍一下Sunny和Denise |
| [05:02] | They’re the interns who’ll be covering the floor today. | 她们是今天负责照管这层楼的实习生 |
| [05:04] | Oh! Cool. | 噢 酷 |
| [05:05] | If you guys give me your cell numbers, | 如果你们把手机号给我的话 |
| [05:07] | I can text you if I need anything. | 我有事会发短信给你们的 |
| [05:09] | These kids with their texting and their cell phones. | 现在这些孩子总是短信啊和手机啊 |
| [05:11] | – Our generation never had that stuff. – Yeah. | – 咱们这代就从没那些东西 – 是啊 |
| [05:15] | I just kind of feel like, I don’t know, | 我只是觉得 那什么 |
| [05:17] | there’s three generations in the room right now. | 现在这病房里有三代人呢 |
| [05:21] | If you want to instant message me, | 如果你想给我发送即时消息的话 |
| [05:22] | my screen name is Sunnyhoneybunny. | 我的用户名是Sunnyhoneybunny(阳光甜心小兔兔) |
| [05:24] | Of course it is. | 当然了 |
| [05:25] | – Do you have teenagers? – How old do you think I am? | – 你孩子十几了 – 你是觉得有我多老啊 |
| [05:30] | – What’s up? – Where have you been? | – 大家好吗 – 你哪儿去了 |
| [05:33] | – Oh! – How could you be late? | – 噢 – 你怎么能迟到呢 |
| [05:34] | This is our sketch show! | 这是我们的小品节目啊 |
| [05:36] | Our sketch show! | 我们的小品节目啊 |
| [05:37] | Our sketch show! | 我们的小品节目啊 |
| [05:40] | That’s cool, man. It’s just a sketch show. | 没事的 伙计 就是个小品节目罢了 |
| [05:42] | Our sketch show! | 我们的小品节目啊 |
| [05:44] | Okay, let’s assign sketches. Partner up, please. | 好了 我们分配表演任务 请找搭档吧 |
| [05:50] | Yikes. | 哎呀 |
| [05:53] | I’ll be with Denise. Problem solved! | 我和Denise一组 问题解决了 |
| [05:57] | Can we go now? | 能走了吗 |
| [06:00] | Good morning. Okay, I think | 早上好 好了 我觉得 |
| [06:01] | we should just get this out in the open. | 我们还是打开天窗说亮话吧 |
| [06:04] | I saw you pluck your special hair the other day. | 那天我看见你拔特殊部位的毛发了 |
| [06:15] | I was there. I saw. | 我当时在场 看到了 |
| [06:17] | Question is, what are we gonna do about it? | 问题是 我们该怎么办呢 |
| [06:19] | I have an idea. Let me speak first. May I? Good. | 我有个主意 我先说 可以吗 很好 |
| [06:22] | I believe that you should give me the hair, | 我觉得你该把那根毛给我 |
| [06:23] | because I’ve been scrapbooking the most disgusting things | 因为我正在做一本我所能想到的最恶心 |
| [06:25] | that I can think of, and I want to put it on the page | 事物的剪贴簿 我想把它放在 |
| [06:28] | in between my decayed molars and my snug, | 蛀牙和蜗涕虫两页之间 |
| [06:31] | which is a snail-slug hybrid | 蜗涕虫是一个我在车库里 |
| [06:34] | that I was able to splice together in my garage unsuccessfully. | 让蜗牛和鼻涕虫连接在一起失败的混合产物 |
| [06:38] | We didn’t see each other yesterday. | 我们昨天没见过面啊 |
| [06:43] | Well, that was unexpected. | 好吧 这招我没想到 |
| [06:47] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [06:48] | Okay, Brianna, your chest x-ray looks good. | 好的 Brianna 你的胸部X光看上去没问题 |
| [06:51] | We should be able to get you home tomorrow. | 我们明天就能放你回家了 |
| [06:53] | I’m just gonna go talk to your mom | 我只是还需要找你妈妈 |
| [06:54] | about some changes in your medication. | 谈谈用药剂量调整的问题 |
| [06:56] | Aren’t moms the greatest? | 妈妈们都是最棒的吧 |
| [06:58] | My mom bought me these scrubs last week, just because. | 我妈上周给我买了这身手术衣 就因为她乐意 |
| [07:02] | Oh! And this morning, I found this little note. | 噢 然后今早 我发现了这张小纸条 |
| [07:04] | It says, “You’re super special.” | 上面写着 “你是独一无二的” |
| [07:08] | If that’s what moms do, I’m glad I never met mine. | 要是当妈的就干这个 真庆幸我从没见过我妈 |
| [07:11] | “Look at me, I’m dark and edgy.” | “快看我啊 我阴郁又易怒” |
| [07:13] | I love my mom, but I wish she would ease up a little. | 我爱我妈 但我希望她能放松点 |
| [07:17] | I mean, I know I’m sick, but not all the time, | 我知道我病了 但又不是一直病着 |
| [07:19] | and she still never lets me leave the house. | 可她还是一直都不让我出门 |
| [07:22] | You know, I’ve never had a date. | 知道么 我从来没约会过 |
| [07:24] | It’s like she’s so freaked out about me dying | 好像她如此惶恐我就要死去 |
| [07:26] | that she won’t let me have a life. | 都不肯让我拥有自己的生活 |
| [07:29] | – She doesn’t want your stupid note. – You don’t know that. | – 她不想要你那傻纸条 – 那可不一定 |
| [07:36] | – Do I know you? – I’m a friend. | – 我认识你吗 – 我是个朋友 |
| [07:39] | What is Jimmy the overly-touchy orderly doing here? | 那个过度上下其手的护工Jimmy在这干嘛 |
| [07:42] | Dude, he does amazing impressions. He’s a ringer. | 哥们儿 他”笑果”超强的 演谁都灵 |
| [07:45] | We can put him in any bit that’s not working. | 我们可以把他加到任何不好笑的段子里 |
| [07:47] | Like the Dr. Wen sketch. | 比如Wen医生的那个段子 |
| [07:49] | It’s almost show time. Let’s work out some of the kinks. | 表演就要开始了 我们理清一下思路吧 |
| [07:52] | You guys doing the Dr. Cox sketch, make sure you | 你们表演Cox医生的段子 一定要确保 |
| [07:58] | Really stretch out all your words, okay? | 充分延伸开自己的台词 好吗 |
| [08:01] | And under no circumstances are you to tell him | 并且任何情况下都不许告诉他 |
| [08:03] | that I wrote the joke implying he may have a sports car | 影射他也许是因为鸡鸡太小而买了 |
| [08:05] | because he has a small penis. | 辆跑车的段子是我写的 |
| [08:07] | Unless he finds it hilarious, | 除非他觉得极其好笑 |
| [08:09] | at which point you will break character | 那时你们就可以停下来说 |
| [08:11] | and say, “John Dorian wrote that joke.” | “John Dorian编的段子” |
| [08:14] | I will then stand, give a humble nod, like so, | 我会起身 谦逊地点下头 像这样 |
| [08:18] | and then gesture for you to continue. | 然后给你们比个继续的手势 |
| [08:20] | Meghan, you’re playing Carla. That’s my wife. | Meghan 你扮演Carla 那是我老婆 |
| [08:22] | Please show some respect. Kathy, you’re playing Elliot. | 请放尊重点 Kathy 你扮演Elliot |
| [08:26] | So I wanna see some bug-eyes, all right? And… Perfect! | 我需要一些快瞪出来的眼球 好吗 完美 |
| [08:29] | Plus, find some cardboard, | 另外 找块硬纸板来 |
| [08:31] | stick it down the back of your pants, right? | 直接塞到你的裤子后面去 懂没 |
| [08:33] | Make that ass flat, girl. Let me see what you got right now. | 让那屁股平到家 妹子 我看看你现在什么样 |
| [08:36] | – Yeah, we could go flatter. – We can go flatter. | – 嗯 可以再平点儿 – 可以再平点儿 |
| [08:37] | – We can go flatter. – You know, I’ve chewed on that thing | – 可以的 – 要知道 我可是在上面啃过的 |
| [08:39] | – and it’s flatter than day-old beer. – I gotta tell you. | – (味道)简直是比开了一天的啤酒还要平 – 哥们儿你神了 |
| [08:42] | You know what? I made a funny. Turk, rewrite. | 听见没 我又抖了个包袱 Turk 改一下 |
| [08:44] | I am already on it. | 改着呢 |
| [08:46] | Katie, dynamite Beardface costume. | Katie 你这身大胡子道具服简直帅爆了 |
| [08:49] | – I can’t see anything in this. – Performers find a way, Katie. | – 我在里面什么也看不见 – 表演者在黑暗中求生存 Katie |
| [08:53] | Use your other senses. Where are Sunny and Denise? | 用你的其他感官吧 Sunny和Denise呢 |
| [08:57] | Well, you know, they’re supposed to be… | 你知道的 她们应该 |
| [08:58] | No, thank you. Cool. | 不用了 谢谢你 真棒 |
| [09:01] | They’re supposed to be playing us, | 她们应该扮演咱俩的 |
| [09:02] | but they haven’t picked up their scripts or anything. | 但是她们连剧本都没领呢 |
| [09:05] | Hey, Dr. Reid, can we talk to you about Brianna? | 嘿 Reid医生 我们可以和你聊聊Brianna吗 |
| [09:07] | Her mom is being way too over-protective. | 她妈妈对她太过于保护了 |
| [09:09] | Unfortunately, my lady, I saw what I saw. | 不幸的是 女士 我看见就是看见了 |
| [09:12] | You either plucked a giant hair, or you have mini chest snakes. | 你要不是拔掉了一根巨大胸毛 就是你有迷你胸蛇 |
| [09:17] | Maybe you’re just imagining things. | 也许是你自己瞎想像呢 |
| [09:19] | Like that time you thought you | 就像那次你以为自己 |
| [09:20] | built a giant sand castle in the parking lot. | 在停车场建了个巨大沙堡 |
| [09:22] | Or the time you said you hung J.D. Up like a flag, | 或者是那次你说你把J.D.当成一面旗给挂起来了 |
| [09:25] | totally defying the laws of physics. | 完全违背物理学定理啊 |
| [09:27] | – I did those things. – Did you? | – 我真的做过这些事 – 是吗 |
| [09:31] | At least I thought I… Head games aren’t gonna work on me. | 至少我觉得我 心理战术对我没用 |
| [09:34] | Unfortunately for you, I have a photographic memory. | 对你来说不幸的是 我有着精准的记忆力 |
| [09:36] | For instance, I arrived here yesterday at 7:45 A.M. | 举例说明 我昨天早上7点45分到了这里 |
| [09:39] | At 7:”50 A.M., I took a nap. | 在7点50分的时候 我睡个了小觉 |
| [09:41] | At 2:45 P.M., I awoke to find you | 下午2点45分 我睡醒睁眼看见你 |
| [09:43] | plucking a comically large hair off of your baby-feeder. | 正从你的天然哺乳器上拔一根长到滑稽的胸毛 |
| [09:47] | I then took my afternoon nap, | 接着我又睡了下午觉 |
| [09:48] | then I went on break, and then I went home. | 然后是休息时间 再然后就回家了 |
| [09:50] | Couldn’t sleep a wink. Damnedest thing. | 一夜没合眼啊 真操蛋 |
| [09:54] | Sad. | 好悲伤啊 |
| [09:55] | Stop walking away from me. | 别说走就走了 |
| [09:57] | And now I’m sleepy again. | 现在我又困了 |
| [10:02] | Brianna should totally get to live her life. | Brianna绝对理应过自己的生活 |
| [10:03] | I’m gonna go talk to her mom. | 我会去和她妈谈 |
| [10:05] | But you guys gotta do me a favor. | 但你俩必须得帮我个忙 |
| [10:07] | She’s really starting to get in my head | 对于整个我和她是同龄人这件事 |
| [10:08] | with this whole we’re-the-same-age thing. | 真的开始影响到我了 |
| [10:09] | So I’m just gonna start throwing out numbers | 所以现在我开始说数字 |
| [10:11] | and you guys stop me whenever I get to the age | 你俩觉得我看上去是这个年龄 |
| [10:13] | you think I look like. Okay? | 的时候就喊停 好吗 |
| [10:14] | 22 23 24 25 25 25 22, 23, 24, 25, 25, 25… | |
| [10:18] | You know what? This is a really stupid game, okay? | 算了 这游戏有够傻逼的 |
| [10:20] | Aren’t you guys late for some sketch show? | 你们那个什么表演快迟到了吧 |
| [10:22] | Crap. | 该死 |
| [10:24] | Idiots. | 俩蠢货 |
| [10:27] | Isn’t this fun, running together? | 这样是不是很有趣 奔跑在一起 |
| [10:28] | – Shut up, Sunny. – Okay. | – 闭嘴吧 Sunny – 好吧 |
| [10:33] | – Oh, my God, I’m so nervous. – Welcome to live theater. | – 噢 天呐 我紧张死了 – 欢迎来到直播剧场 |
| [10:40] | I’m Bob Kelso. | 我是Bob Kelso |
| [10:41] | And my life is so empty that I still come here every day | 我的生活实在太空虚了 所以我仍然每天都来医院 |
| [10:45] | to stuff my face with muffins. | 狂吃玛芬蛋糕 |
| [10:47] | And I like prostitutes. | 另外 我喜欢妓女 |
| [10:52] | That’s funny ’cause it’s true. | 真好笑啊 都是大实话 |
| [10:57] | Hey, I’m The Todd. Wow. | 嘿 我就是Todd了 哇喔 |
| [11:00] | Looks like we got a full house. I got a full house in my pants. | 看来今天高朋满座啊 我裤子里也是一样”高”哦 |
| [11:06] | Hello. I’m Dr. Beardface. | 你们好啊 我是大胡子医生 |
| [11:10] | I was up all night sewing. | 我为了缝这个一宿没合眼 |
| [11:13] | My beard is only this big. | 我的胡子只有这么大 |
| [11:15] | Lighten up, Seymour. I took my lumps. | 想开点儿吧 Seymour 我自己这口气都咽下了 |
| [11:18] | Okay, one last chance to admit the truth before this gets ugly. | 好了 事情变得难堪之前再给你最后一次承认事实的机会 |
| [11:21] | – Did I see the nipple hair or not? – You did not. | – 我到底有没有看到乳毛 – 你没有 |
| [11:24] | Beardface! | 大胡子 |
| [11:26] | And so it begins. | 好戏开场喽 |
| [11:27] | Hi, I’m Dr. Wen, and it’s | 嗨 我是Wen医生 很荣幸 |
| [11:29] | an honor to have you as a patient, Owen Wilson. | 可以成为你的医生 Owen Wilson |
| [11:32] | Oh! Come on, Doc. What about patient-doctor privacy? | 噢 少来了 医生 医患保密协议怎么办 |
| [11:35] | How’s that supposed to make me feel? | 你这让我作何感受 |
| [11:38] | – Mr. Jack Black. – Thanks, buddy. | – Jack Black先生 – 谢了 老兄 |
| [11:40] | Sacred Heart! | 圣心医院 |
| [11:47] | – Mr. Brad Pitt. – Thank you, Dr. Wen. | – Brad Pitt先生 – 谢谢你 Wen医生 |
| [11:50] | I do have to say it’s very hard covering the medical bill | 不得不说 养14个孩子 付医药费可 |
| [11:53] | when you have 14 children. | 真不是件容易事 |
| [11:56] | You know, people are always asking me, | 知道么 人们总是问我 |
| [11:58] | “Hey, hey, Dane Cook. Hey, Dane Cook.” | “嘿 嘿 Dane Cook 嘿 Dane Cook” |
| [12:00] | Yeah, they use my full name. | 没错 他们叫我全名 |
| [12:01] | Hey, what’s the deal with tongue depressors? | 嘿 你那压舌板是要干嘛 |
| [12:03] | Is it supposed to make your tongue sad or something? | 是想让你的舌头变得压抑吗 |
| [12:05] | Like, taste it… This muffin tastes sad. | 就好像 尝尝 这小蛋糕尝起来真忧伤 |
| [12:06] | Why do people find me funny? | 人们为什么会觉得我幽默呢 |
| [12:10] | Dude, we gave them too much Jimmy. | 哥们儿 咱给Jimmy安排的戏份太多了 |
| [12:12] | – Off the stage, Jimmy! – Okay, Jimmy. Yay! | – 下去吧 Jimmy – 好了 Jimmy 好样的 |
| [12:17] | Hi, everyone. We’re gonna | 嗨 大家好 我们要表演 |
| [12:19] | do a sketch about Dr. Dorian and Dr. Turk. | 一个Dorian医生和Turk医生的段子 |
| [12:23] | I don’t even know what we’re supposed to do. | 我都不知道我们应该做什么 |
| [12:25] | – Just follow my lead. – Okay. | – 跟着我就行了 – 好吧 |
| [12:30] | – Look at your mole. – It’s huge! | – 看你的痣啊 – 巨大啊 |
| [12:32] | Here are those lab reports you wanted, Turk. | 这些是你要的检测报告 Turk |
| [12:35] | Thanks. I did need those, J.D. | 谢谢 正是我想要的 J.D. |
| [12:38] | – They’re bombing. – Well, it serves them right. | – 演得不咋地啊 – 给了她们一教训 |
| [12:41] | Man, who cares about them? We did it! We did the whole thing! | 哥们儿 谁在乎她们呐 我们做到了 我们搞定了整场秀 |
| [12:44] | Goodbye, J.D. Thank you so much for… | 再见 J.D. 非常感谢你 |
| [12:53] | How is that funny? | 哪儿好笑了 |
| [13:02] | Hey, Dr. Reid, did you get a chance to talk to Brianna’s mom? | 嘿 Reid医生 你和Brianna的妈妈谈过了吗 |
| [13:06] | – Well, I’ll tell you… – Hey, Denise, | – 嗯 这么说吧 – 嘿 Denise |
| [13:07] | we’re all going out for drinks to celebrate. You wanna come? | 我们都要出去喝酒庆祝 你要来吗 |
| [13:10] | No, I’m gonna stay and study. | 不 我要留在这里学习 |
| [13:11] | And you broke your promise yet again. Shocking. | 你又违背承诺了 好震惊啊 |
| [13:15] | Look, I promise I’ll go out tomorrow night, okay? | 听着 我保证明晚肯定去 行吗 |
| [13:17] | So, what did Brianna’s mom say? | Brianna妈妈怎么说的 |
| [13:19] | You know, I’ve been thinking about it. | 你知道吗 我又想了想 |
| [13:21] | I mean, we have really no idea what that woman’s going through. | 我们完全不了解这位母亲正在经历着什么 |
| [13:24] | I mean, who’s to say that she isn’t right to be so cautious? | 我们有什么资格说她谨慎过头了呢 |
| [13:27] | After all, it’s her daughter. So I decided not to talk to her. | 毕竟 那是她女儿 所以我决定不说了 |
| [13:31] | It’s really none of our business. | 这真的轮不到我们来插手 |
| [13:48] | Today was the fifth anniversary of the time | 今天是我和Turk在摩天轮上遇见 |
| [13:50] | Turk and I met David Caruso on a Ferris wheel. | David Caruso的第五周年纪念日 |
| [13:52] | Usually, to celebrate, Turk would lift me in the air | 通常 为了庆祝 Turk会把我举到空中 |
| [13:55] | while I straddled him and yelled “Eagle!” | 我跨在他脖子上高喊”雄鹰展翅” |
| [13:58] | But this morning, I somehow knew that wasn’t gonna happen. | 但今早 我却感觉这一切可能要坏菜 |
| [14:01] | – Hey. – Hey. | – 嘿 – 嘿 |
| [14:03] | Eagle. | 雄鹰展翅 |
| [14:05] | Elliot didn’t seem like herself, either. | Elliot似乎也不太正常 |
| [14:08] | I don’t care what you think is right for Brianna. | 我不管你们觉得怎样对Brianna更好 |
| [14:10] | Okay, if either of you hassles her mom, | 好吗 如果你们谁敢去烦她妈妈 |
| [14:12] | there will be consequences. Bad ones. | 谁就承担后果 严重的后果 |
| [14:17] | – Okay, why are you smiling? – I can’t help it. It’s permanent. | – 好吧 你笑什么 – 我控制不住 一直就这样 |
| [14:23] | Donny, muffin, please. | Donny 麦芬蛋糕 |
| [14:25] | Not bran. Better. | 不要麸皮的 这还差不多 |
| [14:30] | What do you want? | 你想干嘛 |
| [14:30] | I’m getting ready to torture Nurse Chest-Whiskers, | 我要开始折磨胸毛护士了 |
| [14:33] | but it’s her word against mine, | 但是我们各执一词 |
| [14:34] | so I need you to verify yesterday’s incident. | 所以我需要你来证实昨天的事件 |
| [14:36] | What incident? I wasn’t even here yesterday. | 什么事啊 我昨天都没在这儿啊 |
| [14:39] | You were there. | 你明明在的 |
| [14:40] | Excuse me. What? | 等下唉 什么 |
| [14:42] | Shh! He’s standing right here. | 嘘 他就站在这儿呢 |
| [14:44] | – Me? – Okay, I’ll tell him. | – 我么 – 好的 我告诉他 |
| [14:48] | My muffin thinks you’re crazy and she wants you to go. | 我的麦芬蛋糕认为你疯了 她让你快走 |
| [14:52] | You tell your muffin that | 告诉你的麦芬蛋糕 |
| [14:52] | I think she’s crazy. Maybe she should go. | 她才疯了 也许该走的是她 |
| [14:55] | No. | 不是 |
| [14:57] | What is happening to me? | 我到底是怎么了 |
| [15:04] | Nice job. | 干得好 |
| [15:06] | That lady has no idea what’s good for her daughter. | 那位女士根本就不知道怎样才是对她女儿好的 |
| [15:09] | I know. I just want to go over there and smush her face. | 我知道 我真想过去压扁她的脸 |
| [15:13] | So this is you mad? | 你生气就这样吗 |
| [15:15] | Did you hear me? Like, just smush it. | 听见了吗 就 压得扁扁的 |
| [15:17] | So go talk to her. | 去找她谈吧 |
| [15:19] | I mean, you’re both sort of almost doctors. | 你俩也差不多算是医生了 |
| [15:22] | Part of that is doing what you think is right. | 而作为医生的一部分就是去做你认为对的事 |
| [15:24] | – Let’s do this. – Okay, try to act tough. | – 咱们上吧 – 好吧 尽量表现强硬些 |
| [15:27] | And forget it. | 还是算了吧 |
| [15:32] | Oh! So, now we can’t sit on the same side of the table? | 喔 所以我们现在坐桌子同一边都不行了吗 |
| [15:34] | – We never do that. – We always do up here. | – 我们从不坐一边的 – 可在这里永远是 |
| [15:37] | Why did that sketch bother us so much? | 为什么那个段子这么困扰我们呢 |
| [15:39] | We’ve always joked about our little… | 我们也总是开玩笑咱们那 |
| [15:41] | Don’t say it, okay? I hate that word. | 别说出来 行吗 我讨厌那个词 |
| [15:42] | It’s a bromance, Turk. You can’t fight it. | 兄弟情而已嘛 Turk 你再抗拒也没用 |
| [15:46] | It never bothered me before | 之前我并不觉得困扰 |
| [15:47] | because I thought it was our stupid little joke | 因为我觉得这不过是个我们还有 |
| [15:49] | that Elliot and Carla were in on. | Elliot和Carla的内部笑话 |
| [15:52] | But I didn’t know that’s how the whole hospital views us, man. | 但我不知道整个医院人都是这么看我们的 哥们儿 |
| [15:55] | J.D. J.D.? | |
| [15:57] | – Pretty great, huh? – Well, when you’re right, you’re right. | – 感觉不错吧 哈 – 嗯 (你在右边) 你是对的 |
| [16:00] | – Yeah. – So, how’s your day going? | – 嗯 – 你今天过得怎么样 |
| [16:02] | It’s pretty good so far. | 目前还不错 |
| [16:03] | I see you’re eating bread again. I thought you were off carbs. | 我看你又开始吃面包了 你不是忌了碳水化合物么 |
| [16:06] | J.D. J.D.! | |
| [16:07] | – I’m sorry. I’m back. Continue. – Look, we’re senior staff now, | – 抱歉 我回神了 接着说 – 听着 现在我们是资深医生了 |
| [16:11] | so maybe at work, we should tone down the PDA. | 也许在工作时间 咱该少当众秀恩爱 |
| [16:14] | I agree. | 我同意 |
| [16:16] | – But does that include… – It definitely includes “Eagle!” | – 但那是不是也包括 – 绝对包括”雄鹰展翅” |
| [16:18] | Oh! Good. | 噢 好的 |
| [16:22] | Look at that, I’m not hungry anymore. | 看呐 我都不饿了 |
| [16:26] | Brianna has so much to deal with right now. | Brianna现在一个人已经要面对很多了 |
| [16:28] | It just seems like you | 你应该让她尽可能 |
| [16:29] | should let her enjoy every normal moment she can | 享受她生活当中每一个正常的时刻 |
| [16:31] | instead of forcing her to hide from life all the time. | 而不是逼着她一直逃避生活 |
| [16:34] | As much as I hate to agree with Dr… | 虽然我讨厌同意医生 你姓什么来着 |
| [16:36] | Dey Dey. | |
| [16:38] | – Your name is Sunny Dey? – Mmm-hmm. | – 你全名叫Sunny Dey – 嗯 |
| [16:41] | Okay, as ridiculous as it was for her parents to name her that, | 好吧 虽然她爸妈给她取了一个这么荒唐的名字 |
| [16:44] | I think what you’re doing with Brianna is 1,000 times worse. | 但我认为你现在对Brianna所做的更糟糕上千倍 |
| [16:47] | My daughter’s immune system doesn’t work. | 我女儿的免疫系统不工作 |
| [16:50] | Why don’t you two tell me what it’s like | 不妨你俩来告诉我每当你们的 |
| [16:51] | when your child risks death every time she shakes hands? | 孩子和别人握手时都可能送命是什么感觉 |
| [16:55] | Do you think I care one bit what you think? | 你们觉得我会在乎一丁点儿你俩怎么想的么 |
| [16:58] | We tried. | 我们尽力了 |
| [17:00] | You know, yesterday, Dr. Reid came in and gave me | 知道吗 昨天 Reid医生也来过了 |
| [17:02] | the same sanctimonious speech, | 道貌岸然地教育我一通 |
| [17:04] | and I told her the exact same thing. | 我对她说了同样的话 |
| [17:06] | Hey, what’s going on over here? | 嘿 这儿怎么了 |
| [17:11] | – Everything okay? – I’m great. | – 你还好吧 – 我好极了 |
| [17:14] | I just don’t know what’s real anymore, but that’s okay, right? | 只是我已经分不清现实和想象了 不过那也无所谓 是吧 |
| [17:19] | I mean, so what if big chunks | 就算我生命的大部分时间 |
| [17:20] | of my life were just figments of my imagination? | 都是想象出来的臆造物又怎么样呢 |
| [17:23] | So I never went to China and had a baby with a local. | 看来我从来都没去过中国还和当地人生了孩子 |
| [17:28] | Maybe I was never in The Fugitive. | 也许我也从没演过<亡命天涯> |
| [17:30] | Listen, this place can make anyone crazy. | 听我说 这地方能把任何人逼疯 |
| [17:34] | Once, after a double shift, | 有一次 连上两班之后 |
| [17:35] | I swore I went home and crawled into bed with Turk. | 我发誓我回了家爬上床和Turk一起睡的 |
| [17:37] | Next day, I woke up in the on-call room spooning Dr. Beardface. | 第二天 我却在值班室抱着大胡子医生醒来 |
| [17:41] | Now the guy’s always slipping me hotel keys. | 现在那家伙老塞给我酒店钥匙 |
| [17:46] | I can’t believe you’re being so nice to me | 真不敢相信在我因为一件 |
| [17:47] | when I almost punished | 就没发生过的事 |
| [17:48] | you for something that never even happened. | 而如此折磨你之后 你还对我这么好 |
| [17:50] | Please accept my apologies. | 请接受我的歉意 |
| [17:56] | That was easier than I thought. | 真是比我想的容易 |
| [18:00] | No, Beardface. | 没门儿 大胡子 |
| [18:05] | I’m so proud of you, man. You know, I’ve always emulated you. | 我真为你骄傲 哥们儿 你知道我一直以你为榜样的 |
| [18:09] | I shaved my privates bald to look like your head. | 我把私处都刮干净了 就为了向你的光头致敬 |
| [18:11] | Todd, I’m actually kind of touched. Come on. | Todd 我还真有稍许感动 来一下 |
| [18:17] | What’s going on? | 怎么回事 |
| [18:18] | They’re gonna publish my old therapy paper. | 他们要发表我以前写的医疗论文 |
| [18:21] | There it was. | 那一刻来临了 |
| [18:23] | He wanted a hug and I damn sure wanted to give him one, | 他想我拥抱他 而我也毫无疑问想要满足他 |
| [18:26] | but all we could do was say this. | 但我们只能淡淡地说句 |
| [18:29] | – Congrats. – Thanks, man. | – 恭喜了 – 谢了 伙计 |
| [18:32] | Don’t look back. Fight it. Fight it. Damn it, you’re only human. | 别回头 抗住 抗住 该死的 你不过是个普通人 |
| [18:38] | Turk Turk? | |
| [18:43] | I ran all the way around. | 我绕圈跑过来的 |
| [18:44] | *It’s guy love Don’t compromise* | *兄弟情 别妥协* |
| [18:47] | – People are gonna look. – What people? | – 人们会看的 – 什么人 |
| [18:49] | *It’s guy love between two guys* | *是兄弟间的兄弟情啊* |
| [18:59] | Why’d you lie about talking to Brianna’s mom? | 你为什么撒谎说没和Brianna的妈妈谈过 |
| [19:01] | I’m going first. | 先回答我的问题 |
| [19:02] | Why’d you go talk to her after I told you to drop it? | 为什么我警告你不要去你还是去了 |
| [19:04] | – It’s not fair what her mom’s doing. – And why is that? | – 她妈妈这样做是不对的 – 为什么呢 |
| [19:08] | I don’t know, because people need to be able | 说不好 因为人们理应出去 |
| [19:09] | to go out and do things and live life. | 做喜欢的事 享受生活 |
| [19:11] | Where have I heard that before? | 这句话怎么这么耳熟呢 |
| [19:13] | Oh! Yeah, it’s the exact same advice I’ve given you 9,000 times. | 噢 对了 我已经给过你九千次相同的建议了 |
| [19:17] | So you had me get crushed by that mom just to prove a point? | 所以你让我被她妈臭骂一顿就是为了证明这个 |
| [19:19] | She even had me give you a little push so you wouldn’t wimp out. | 她甚至还让我推你一把 怕你临阵退缩 |
| [19:23] | I’m very bright. Look, I’ve been there. I did what you did. | 我可聪明着呢 听着 我也经历过相同的阶段 做过和你一样的事 |
| [19:27] | I was an intern. I’ve lived at this hospital. | 我曾经也是名实习生 我甚至住在过这家医院里 |
| [19:30] | I saw the same exact people day after day, | 日复一日看到的都是相同的人 |
| [19:32] | which, for the record, | 说明一下 |
| [19:33] | makes even the uggos look attractive after a while. | 时间久了 再丑的人看着都帅呆了 |
| [19:36] | Oh! Is that how you got together with Dr. Dorian? | 噢 你是这样和Dorian医生走到一起的啊 |
| [19:39] | What? No. Well, maybe at first. No. | 什么 不 开始可能是吧 不是 |
| [19:44] | No. | 不是 |
| [19:46] | Sometimes interns think they know it all, | 有时实习生们以为自己无所不知 |
| [19:48] | but the lessons really never stop coming. | 但是永远会有需要学习的新事情 |
| [19:50] | Whether you’ve heard it 1,000 times… | 不管是你已经听过成百上千次的 |
| [19:52] | For the last time, get out of here every once in a while, | 最后说一次 偶尔出去走走 |
| [19:55] | – or this place will swallow you up. – What about Brianna? | – 不然这地方会把你生生吞噬的 – 那Briannna怎么办 |
| [19:59] | Or it’s something totally new. | 或是从来没听过的 |
| [20:00] | So much crappy stuff happens here all day long, | 这里每天的糟心事都多了去了 |
| [20:03] | the best way to get past it is do what I do. | 最好度过的方式就是像我一样 |
| [20:06] | Just pretend it never happened. | 假装什么都没发生过就好了 |
| [20:13] | – Hey, sorry again. – Don’t beat yourself up about it. | – 嘿 对不住了啊 – 别再自责了 |
| [20:17] | Of course, some lessons you pick up on your own… | 当然 还有些是你自己领悟到的 |
| [20:20] | I just got the urge to buy you a shirt. | 我突然有种想给你买件衬衫的冲动 |
| [20:23] | Well, then, to the mall! | 那么 冲向商场吧 |
| [20:25] | Mount up. | 上来吧 |
| [20:27] | Eagle! | 雄鹰展翅 |
| [20:31] | Like how important it is to have a good friend here | 比如意识到身边有位好朋友帮你 |
| [20:34] | to help you get through it. | 渡过难关有多么重要 |
| [20:36] | Oh! | 噢 |
| [20:37] | – Anyone sitting here? – Not just anyone. You. | – 有人坐这儿吗 – 没有别人 是你 |
| [20:42] | Okay, no more talking till I’m drunk. Okay? | 好 在我喝醉前别再跟我说话了 好吗 |
| [20:54] | Partner up, please. | 请找搭档吧 |
| [20:56] | Val, please don’t make a sign | Val 请不要做一个写着 |
| [20:58] | that says “LOSER” With an arrow pointing towards Jo. | “输家”的指示牌 上面还有个箭头指向Jo |
| [21:02] | Ha-ha! Now it’s pointing towards me. Very clever. | 哈哈 现在指着我了 真是聪明 |
| [21:05] | – Turk, will you get the sign, please? – I am on it. | – Turk 你能把牌子拿走吗 – 这就去 |
| [21:08] | – Val! – You guys… | – Val – 你们啊 |
| [21:09] | – You guys are doctors. – I’m telling you. | – 你们可是医生 – 我告诉你 |
| [21:10] | – This is unprofessional. – Got it. | – 这样太不专业了 – 拿到了 |
| [21:13] | This is a different “LOSER” Sign. | 这是另一张”输家”指示牌 |
| [21:15] | Where is the original “LOSER” Sign? There’s two now. | 原来的那张去哪儿了 这下有两张了 |
| [21:18] | – Right there. I see it. – Okay, can you get that one, please? | – 就在那儿 我看见了 – 好的 你能把那张也拿来吗 |
| [21:20] | I’m gonna get it right now. | 我这就去拿 |
| [21:21] | I think we should stop looking for the sign | 我觉得咱别找牌子了 |
| [21:22] | and start looking for the Sharpie, | 直接找记号笔吧 |
| [21:23] | ’cause we’re losing control here. | 因为咱这儿有些事态失控了 |
| [21:25] | We are not losing control. | 咱们才没失控呢 |
| [21:29] | Okay, who wrote that? | 好吧 哪个王八羔子写的 |