时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | Most men like working on things. | 多数男人喜欢摆弄东西 |
[00:06] | Tools, objects, fixing things. This is what men enjoy doing. | 工具 物件 修东西 男人就喜欢这活儿 |
[00:10] | Ever noticed if a guy’s in his driveway working on something with tools… | 你们是否留意过有人 拿着工具在路边干活 |
[00:13] | …how all the other men in the neighbourhood… | 附近的邻居们怎么会都… |
[00:15] | …are magnetically drawn to this activity? | 着魔似的被这吸引呢? |
[00:18] | They just come wandering out of the house like zombies. | 他们像僵尸一样从屋里游荡出来 |
[00:22] | Men… It’s true. Men hear a drill, it’s like a dog whistle. Just: | 伙计…这是真事儿 男人听见钻孔声 就像听见口哨一般 然后: |
[00:29] | They go running up to the living-room curtain. | 他们箭步走到客厅的窗帘前 |
[00:31] | “Honey, I think Jim’s working on something over there.” | “亲爱的 我觉得吉姆正在那干活呢” |
[00:35] | So they run over to the guy. | 他们朝那家伙跑过去 |
[00:36] | They don’t actually help the guy. | 他们并不是去帮忙 |
[00:38] | No. They just want to hang around the area… | 不是 他们只想待在那附近… |
[00:43] | …where work is being done. | 就是干活的地方 |
[00:47] | That’s what men want to do. | 男人就想这样 |
[00:50] | We want to watch the guy. We want to talk to him. | 我们想看着他 我们想找他说话 |
[00:52] | We want to ask him dumb questions. You know… | 我们想问些愚蠢的问题 你知道的… |
[00:57] | “What are you using, a Phillips head?” | “你用的什么 十字槽螺丝帽吗?” |
[01:00] | You know, we feel involved. | 你知道 我们觉得置身其中 |
[01:02] | That’s why when they have construction sites… | 这就是为什么当 人们选好建筑地址时 |
[01:04] | …they have to have those wood panel fences around it. | 就用木板围墙围起来 |
[01:07] | That’s just to keep the men out. | 只是为了把这些人拒之门外 |
[01:10] | They cut those little holes for us… | 他们为我们割了些小孔 |
[01:12] | …so we can see what the hell is going on. | 我们就能知道里面怎么回事了 |
[01:14] | But if they don’t cut those holes, we are climbing those fences. | 但如果他们不割些小孔 我们就会翻越围墙 |
[01:18] | Right over there. “What are you using, the steel girders down here?” | 翻到里面 “你用的什么 下面是钢梁吗?” |
[01:23] | Yeah, that’ll hold. | 没错 能承受的住 |
[01:38] | I had to say something. | 我得说些什么 |
[01:40] | Had to say something. | 得说些什么 |
[01:41] | Everything was going so well. I had to say something. | 一切进展顺利 我得说些什么 |
[01:44] | I don’t think you did anything wrong. | 我觉得你没做错 |
[01:46] | I told her I liked her. Why? | 我告诉她我喜欢她 为什么? |
[01:49] | Why did I tell her I like her? | 我为什么对她说喜欢她? |
[01:52] | I have this sick compulsion to tell women how I feel. | 我总是抑制不住想要告诉 女方我的感受的冲动 |
[01:55] | I like you. I don’t tell you. | 我喜欢你 但我不告诉你 |
[01:57] | We can only thank God for that. | 这就只能感谢上苍了 |
[02:00] | I’m out of the picture. I am out of the picture. | 我出局了 我出局了 |
[02:04] | Matter of time now. | 现在只是时间问题了 |
[02:06] | – You’re imagining this. Really. – Oh, no. No, no. | – 这都是你想出来的 真的 – 哦 不 不 不 |
[02:12] | I’ll tell you when it happened too. | 我告诉你发生过类似的事 |
[02:14] | It’s when that floss came flying out of my pocket. | 当牙线从我的口袋里跑出来时 |
[02:18] | What floss? When? | 什么牙线? 什么时候? |
[02:20] | In the lobby, during the intermission of the play. | 在大厅里 戏剧中场休息时 |
[02:23] | I was buying her one of those containers of orange drink. | 我给她买了一罐橙汁 |
[02:25] | For $5. | 五块钱 |
[02:27] | I reach into my pocket to pay for it. I look down. | 我伸手到口袋里拿钱 低头一看 |
[02:29] | There’s this piece of green floss hanging from my fingers. | 一撮绿色的牙线缠在我的指间 |
[02:32] | – Mint. – Of course. | – 薄荷口味的 – 当然 |
[02:35] | So I’m looking at it. I look up and see she’s looking at it. | 我看着它 抬头后发现她也在看 |
[02:39] | Our eyes lock. | 四目相触 |
[02:42] | It was a horrible moment. I just… | 那时真难熬 我就… |
[02:46] | So let me get this straight. She saw the floss. | 我先把这事理清楚 她看见了牙线 |
[02:50] | You panicked, and you told her you liked her. | 你惊慌失措 告诉她你喜欢她 |
[02:53] | If I didn’t put floss in my pocket… | 如果我没把牙线放口袋里的话… |
[02:55] | …I’d be crawling around her bedroom right now, looking for my glasses. | 现在就在她卧室里 溜着找眼镜了 |
[02:59] | – You sure the floss was the catalyst? – Yes, I am. | – 你确定牙线是导火索? – 没错 确定 |
[03:03] | You don’t think it might have had anything to do with that? | 你不觉得这可能和那东西有关系吗? |
[03:06] | What, you don’t like this? | 什么 你不喜欢这个? |
[03:08] | Looks like your belt is digesting a small animal. | 看起来就像你的腰带正消化小动物 |
[03:12] | They got a cure for cancer. See, it’s all big business. | 他们发现了癌症治疗方案 这可是笔大买卖 |
[03:18] | Oh, hey! Jerry just walked in. | 哦 嘿!杰瑞刚进门 |
[03:20] | Hi, George! | 嗨 乔治! |
[03:23] | Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take my number. | 好 好 |
[03:25] | It’s 555-8643. | 好 记下我的电话 |
[03:30] | Okay. Here he is. | 好的 他在这儿 |
[03:32] | – Who is it? – Take it. | – 是谁? – 拿着 |
[03:35] | – Who is it? – It’s for you. | – 是谁? – 找你的 |
[03:39] | Hello? | 你好? |
[03:40] | Oh, hi, Joel. | 哦 嗨 乔尔 |
[03:43] | No. I was out of town. I just got back. | 不 我出城了 刚回来 |
[03:46] | Kramer doesn’t know anything. He’s just my next-door neighbour. | 克莱默什么都不知道 他只是我的邻居 |
[03:49] | Nothing much. Tuesday? | 不算忙 周二? |
[03:53] | Tuesday, no. I’m meeting somebody. | 周二 不行 我约了人 |
[03:57] | Wednesday? | 周三? |
[04:00] | Wednesday’s okay. All right. | 周三可以 好的 |
[04:03] | I’m a little busy right now. Can we talk Wednesday morning? | 我现在有点儿忙 我们周三早晨再联系吧? |
[04:06] | Okay. Yeah. | 好的 对 |
[04:08] | Right. Thanks. Bye. | 好的 谢谢 再见 |
[04:10] | Why do you put me on the phone with him? | 你为什么让我接他电话? |
[04:13] | I hate just being handed a phone. | 我讨厌别人替我接电话 |
[04:15] | Well, it’s your phone. He wanted to talk to you. | 这是你的电话 他想和你说话 |
[04:17] | Maybe I didn’t want to talk to him. | 也许我不想和他说话呢 |
[04:19] | – Well, why not? – He bothers me. | – 为什么? – 他总是烦我 |
[04:21] | I don’t answer the phone anymore because of him. | 因为他 我都不接电话 |
[04:24] | He’s turned me into a screener. | 他把我变成筛分工了 |
[04:27] | Now I gotta see him on Wednesday. | 现在我周三得见他了 |
[04:29] | What? I thought we had tickets to the Knick game Wednesday. | 什么?我以为我们 周三要去看尼克队的比赛 |
[04:32] | We got seats behind the bench. | 我们的座位就在球队后面 |
[04:33] | – What happened? We’re not going? – We’re going. | – 怎么了?我们不去了? – 我们去 |
[04:35] | That’s next Wednesday. | 比赛是下周三 |
[04:39] | – Who is this guy? – His name’s Joel Horneck. | – 这家伙是谁? – 他叫乔尔・霍内克 |
[04:42] | He lived, like, three houses down from me when I grew up. | 小时候 他家离我家只有三排房子远 |
[04:45] | He had a Ping-Pong table. We were friends. | 他有一张乒乓球桌 我们是朋友 |
[04:48] | Should I suffer the rest of my life because I like to play Ping-Pong? | 难道我的余生要因为 喜欢打乒乓球而饱受折磨吗? |
[04:52] | I was 10! | 那时我10岁! |
[04:55] | I would’ve been friends with Stalin if he had a Ping-Pong table. | 如果斯大林有兵乓球桌 我也会和他成为朋友的 |
[05:01] | He’s so self-involved. | 他真是很自恋 |
[05:06] | That’s for me. | 我的电话 |
[05:09] | Kramerica Industries. | 克莱默利坚工业 |
[05:11] | Hi, Mark. | 嗨 马克 |
[05:13] | No, no. Forget that. I got a better idea. | 不 不 算了 我有更好的主意 |
[05:16] | A pizza place where you make your own pie. | 一个你可以自己做披萨的披萨店 |
[05:19] | Can you conduct your business… | 你能到别的地方打理你的买卖吗? |
[05:20] | …elsewhere? – No, I’m talking about a whole chain. | 不 我说的是一整条连锁店 |
[05:24] | Yeah. | 没错 |
[05:28] | I don’t know why you bother with this Ping-Pong guy, I tell you. | 我不知道你为什么因 这个乒乓球家伙烦恼 我告诉你 |
[05:31] | I don’t bother with him. | 我没有打扰他 |
[05:32] | He’s been calling me for seven years. I never called him once. | 七年来他一直给我打电话 我从未找过他一次 |
[05:35] | He’s got the attention span of a 5-year-old. | 他的思维还停留在5岁阶段 |
[05:38] | Sometimes I sit there… | 有时候我坐在那儿… |
[05:40] | …and I make up things just to see if he’s paying attention. | 编造些故事 看看他是不是注意我 |
[05:43] | I don’t understand why you spend time with this guy. | 我不明白你为什么和这家伙在一起 |
[05:45] | What can I do, break up with him? | 我能怎么办 和他分手? |
[05:47] | Tell him, ” I don’t think we’re right for each other.” | 告诉他“我觉得我们彼此不合适” |
[05:51] | It’s a guy. | 他是男人 |
[05:53] | At least with a woman there’s a precedent. | 至少对女人来说有先例 |
[05:55] | The relationship goes sour, you end it. | 感情变质了 然后你终结这段感情 |
[05:57] | No, no, no. You have to approach this as if he was a woman. | 不 不 不 你得把他当成女人处理 |
[06:01] | – Just break up with him? – Absolutely. | – 和他分手? – 正是 |
[06:04] | – You just tell him the truth. – The truth? | – 你告诉他真相就好 – 真相? |
[06:10] | No. As a guy, I don’t know how I can break up with another guy. | 不 作为男人 我不知道怎么和男人分手 |
[06:14] | You know? I don’t know how to say: | 知道吗?我不知道如何开口 |
[06:16] | “Bill, I feel I need to see other men.” | “比尔 我觉得我得见其他男人” |
[06:19] | Know what I mean? There is nothing I can do. | 明白我的意思? 我无可奈何 |
[06:21] | I have to wait for someone to die. | 我只能等某人死去 |
[06:24] | I think that’s the only way out of this relationship. | 我觉得这是摆脱 这段感情的唯一途径 |
[06:26] | It could be a long time. | 这会很漫长 |
[06:29] | See the great thing about guys is that we can become friends… | 瞧 男人们的伟大之处 在于能够建立起零基础… |
[06:32] | …based on almost nothing. | 的友谊 |
[06:34] | Just two guys will just become friends just because they’re two guys. | 就两个男人就能成为朋友 只因他们是男人 |
[06:38] | That’s almost all we need to have in common. | 这好像就是必须共有的条件 |
[06:41] | Because sports and women is really all we talk about. | 因为我们常谈论的是体育和女人 |
[06:45] | If there was no sports and no women, the only thing guys would say is: | 如果没有体育和女人 男人之间唯一的话题可能是: |
[06:48] | “So, what’s in the refrigerator?” | “冰箱里有什么?” |
[06:53] | So my shrink wants me to bring my mother in for a session. | 我的神经科医生想 让我带我妈去做一个疗程 |
[06:57] | I mean, this guy is a brilliant man. | 我意思是 这个家伙真是有才 |
[06:59] | Lenny Bruce used to go to him… | 蓝尼・布鲁斯曾经找过他… |
[07:01] | …and I think, Geraldo. | 我想还有 杰拉尔德 |
[07:05] | I read the Lenny Bruce biography. I thought it was… | 我读过蓝尼・布鲁斯的传记 我觉得这真的… |
[07:07] | Hey, hey, hey! We’re starving here! | 嘿 嘿 嘿!我们要饿死了! |
[07:09] | …interesting… – We’ve been waiting here 10 minutes. | – 有趣… – 我们已经等了十分钟了 |
[07:12] | …that he would… | 他可能… |
[07:15] | So I’m thinking about going to Iran this summer. | 我打算今年夏天去伊朗 |
[07:18] | You know, I have to eat. | 你知道吗 我得吃东西 |
[07:24] | I mean, I’m hypoglycaemic. | 我是说 我低血糖 |
[07:27] | Anyway, the Hezbollah has invited me to perform. | 总之 真主党已经邀请我去做节目了 |
[07:35] | – It’s their annual terrorist luncheon. – Yeah. | – 这是他们的年度恐怖分子午宴 – 对 |
[07:39] | I’m gonna do it in Farsi. | 我准备说波斯语 |
[07:42] | Do you think I need a haircut? | 你觉得我该理发吗? |
[07:44] | Are you ready? | 你们准备好了吗? |
[07:45] | Yeah, I’ll have the egg salad on whole wheat. | 好了 我要全麦鸡蛋沙拉 |
[07:48] | Hey, let me ask you a question. This turkey sandwich here… | 嘿 我问你个问题 这儿的火鸡三明治… |
[07:51] | …is that real turkey or is it a turkey roll? | 是真火鸡还是火鸡卷? |
[07:53] | I don’t want that processed turkey. | 我不喜欢加工过的火鸡 |
[07:55] | I hate it. | 我讨厌这个 |
[07:57] | I think it’s real turkey. | 我想是真火鸡 |
[07:59] | – Is there a real bird in the back? – No, there’s no bird, but… | – 那后面有真火鸡吗? – 不 这儿没有火鸡 但… |
[08:02] | How do you know for sure? Why don’t you do me a favour. | 你怎么这么确定? 为什么不帮我个忙 |
[08:05] | Why don’t you go in the back and find out, okay? | 为什么不去后面看看呢 好吗? |
[08:11] | Unbelievable. | 难以置信 |
[08:15] | How can you talk to someone like that? | 你怎么能那么对人说话? |
[08:18] | Look, what are you saying? What, you like turkey roll? | 那说什么? 你喜欢火鸡卷? |
[08:22] | Listen, Joel. There’s something I have to tell you. | 听着 乔尔 有件事我要告诉你 |
[08:26] | Wait. | 等等 |
[08:28] | You’ll never guess who I ran into. | 你肯定猜不到我遇见谁了? |
[08:31] | – Howard Metro. | – Howard Metro. – 霍华・梅特洛 – 霍华・梅特洛 |
[08:33] | He asked me if I still saw you. I said, “Sure, I see him all the time. | 他问我是不是还见你 我说 “当然 我一直见他” |
[08:36] | We’re still great friends.” Anyway, Howard says hello. | “我们仍然是好朋友” 不管怎样 霍华给你问好 |
[08:43] | Listen, Joel. | 听着 乔尔 |
[08:46] | I don’t think we should see each other anymore. | 我觉得我们以后不该再见面了 |
[08:49] | What? | 什么? |
[08:51] | This friendship, it’s not working. | 这段友谊 不合适 |
[08:53] | Not working? What are you talking about? | 不合适? 你说什么呢? |
[08:56] | We’re just not suited to be friends. | 我们不适合做朋友 |
[08:59] | – But how can you say that? – Look, you’re a nice guy. | – 但你怎么能这么说? – 瞧 你是个好人 |
[09:02] | It’s just that we don’t have anything in common. | 只是我们没有共同点 |
[09:05] | Wait. What did I do? | 等等 我做什么了? |
[09:07] | Tell me what… I want to know what I did. | 告诉我… 我想知道我做了什么 |
[09:09] | You didn’t do anything. It’s not you. It’s me. | 你什么都没做 不关你的事 是我的原因 |
[09:14] | It’s… This is very difficult. | 这…这样很难 |
[09:15] | Look, I know I call you too much. Right? I mean, I know. | 我知道给你打电话很频繁 对吧?我是说 我知道 |
[09:18] | – You’re a very busy guy. – No, it’s not that. | – 你是个大忙人 – 不 不是为这 |
[09:22] | You’re one of the few people I can talk to. | 你是为数不多的我可以谈心的人之一 |
[09:25] | Look, come on. Now, that’s not true. | 行了吧 不是这样的 |
[09:28] | I always tell everybody about you. | 我总是和大家说起你 |
[09:30] | I tell everybody to go see his show! | 我让大家去看你的节目! |
[09:35] | I mean, I’m your biggest fan. | 我是你的忠实粉丝 |
[09:37] | – I know, I know. – I mean, you’re my best friend. | – 我知道 我知道 – 你是我最好的朋友 |
[09:40] | Best friend? I’ve never been to your apartment. | 最好的朋友? 我从未去过你公寓 |
[09:42] | I cannot believe that this is happening! I can’t believe it. | 真不敢相信居然会这样 真不可思议 |
[09:45] | Okay, okay, forget it. It’s okay. I didn’t mean it. | 好了 好了 算了吧 没事了 我不是当真的 |
[09:48] | – Didn’t mean what? – What I said. | – 什么不当真? – 我所说的 |
[09:50] | – I’ve been under a lot of stress. – Oh, you’ve been under a lot of stress. | – 我压力有点儿大 – 哦 你压力还大 |
[09:55] | Look, just… Can we just forget the whole thing ever happened? | 瞧… 我们就当这事没发生行吗? |
[09:58] | I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I took it out on you. | 抱歉 我不是认真的 我拿你出气 |
[10:01] | We’re still friends. | We’re still friends. Still friends. 我们仍然是朋友 我们仍然是朋友 仍是朋友 |
[10:06] | Okay, look. I tell you what. I got Knick tickets. This Wednesday. | 好了 听着 告诉你 我有尼克队的票 这周三 |
[10:10] | Great seats behind the bench. You want to come with me? | 座位在球员后面 你想和我一起去吗? |
[10:13] | Come on. | 来吧 |
[10:14] | Tonight? | 今晚? |
[10:16] | No, next Wednesday. If it was tonight, I would’ve said tonight. | 不 下周三 如果是今晚 我就说今晚了 |
[10:21] | You really want me to go? | 你真的想让我去? |
[10:25] | Yes. | 是的 |
[10:30] | – Okay. – Here, take these. | – 好吧 – 等下 给你这个 |
[10:33] | Okay. Great. That would be… | 噢 真好 那真是… |
[10:36] | That’d be great. So… | 真是好 那么… |
[10:38] | …next Wednesday. – Next Wednesday. | – 下周三 – 下周三 |
[10:42] | Say, where is that waitress? Hey! | 对了 服务生去哪里了? 嘿! |
[11:01] | She calls me up at the office. She says, “We have to talk.” | 她给我打电话到办公室 说 “我们必须谈谈” |
[11:05] | The four worst words in the English language. | 最糟糕的6个字 |
[11:09] | That or, “Whose bra is this?” | 或者是 “这是谁的胸罩”? |
[11:12] | That is worse. | 是很糟 |
[11:14] | So we order lunch, and we’re talking. | 然后我们点了餐 开始话题 |
[11:16] | Finally, she blurts out how it’s not working. | 终于她忍不住说了如何如何行不通 |
[11:18] | Really. | 是吗 |
[11:20] | So, I’m thinking, as she’s saying this, I’m thinking, “Great. | 我在想 她说的那些 我觉得 很好 |
[11:22] | The relationship’s over, but the egg salad’s on the way.” | 我们结束了 但是鸡蛋沙拉还没上 |
[11:25] | So now I have a decision. Do I walk or do I eat? | 然后我们的选择是走还是吃? |
[11:28] | You ate. | 你吃了 |
[11:31] | Sat there for 20 minutes, chewing. | 坐在那嚼了20分钟 |
[11:33] | Staring at each other in a defunct relationship. | 然后很�宓幕ハ喽⒆哦苑� |
[11:36] | Someone says, “Get out of my life.” | 有人说“从我生活中滚吧” |
[11:39] | And that doesn’t affect your appetite? | 这样都不能影响你的食欲? |
[11:42] | Have you ever had their egg salad? | 你有没有吃过那家的鸡蛋沙拉? |
[11:44] | – It is unbelievable. – It’s unbelievable. | – 难以置信 – 难以置信 |
[11:46] | Tell you what else is unbelievable. I picked up the check. | 再告诉你一个难以置信事情 我付的钱 |
[11:49] | She didn’t even offer. She ended it. | 她连让都没让一下 狠心的女人啊 |
[11:51] | The least she could do is send me off with a sandwich. | 她至少给我买个汉堡为我送行啊 |
[11:55] | How much could you possibly have in there? | 你那罐子里能有多少钱? |
[11:58] | Look, it’s my money. | 这都是我的钱 |
[12:00] | All right? What should I do, throw it out the window? | 好吧 我能怎么做 从窗户扔出去? |
[12:02] | I know a guy who took his vacation on his change. | 我知道有人会用平时攒下的零钱去度假的 |
[12:05] | Yeah? Where’d he go? To an arcade? | 是吗? 他去哪了? 去打街机? |
[12:08] | That’s funny. You’re a funny guy. | 这真好笑 你真有趣 |
[12:10] | Come on, move up. | 走啦 快 |
[12:12] | Great. Ewing’s hurt. | 真好 尤因受伤了 |
[12:14] | How long is he gonna be out? | 他要离队多久? |
[12:15] | Well, a couple days at the most, but… | 最多几天吧 但… |
[12:18] | – Oh, God. – I got scared there for a second. | – 噢 上帝 – 我受惊了 |
[12:21] | The Knicks without Ewing. | 没有尤因的尼克斯队 (尼克斯队是最初的BAA联盟 NBA的前身) |
[12:22] | Listen, George. A little problem with the game. | 听者 乔治 那个球赛有点小变动 |
[12:25] | – What about it? – The thing is, yesterday… | – 什么? – 实事是 昨天… |
[12:27] | …I kind of… | …我 呃… |
[12:30] | – What? – I gave your ticket to Horneck. | – 什么啊? – 我把你的票给霍内克了 |
[12:40] | – You what? – Yeah. | – 什么? – 是的 |
[12:42] | I’m sorry. I had to give it to Horneck. | 抱歉 我只能给他 |
[12:46] | No. | 不 |
[12:51] | My ticket? | 我的票? |
[12:52] | – You gave my ticket to Horneck? – Come on. Go ahead. Move up. | – 你把我的票给了霍内克? – 走吧 走 |
[12:55] | What did you give him my ticket for? | 你把我的票给他干什么? |
[12:57] | You didn’t see him. It was horrible. | 你没看当时的情况 很恐怖 |
[12:59] | Oh, come on, Jerry. I can’t believe this! | 拜托 杰瑞 你让我说你什么好! |
[13:01] | – I had to do it. – Oh, please. | – 我只能这么做 – 哦 拜托 |
[13:03] | Can you change this into bills? | 能把这都换成纸币吗? |
[13:05] | I’m sorry, sir, we can’t do that. | 不好意思 先生 恐怕不行 |
[13:07] | Do you want to go with him? | 你想和他一起去吗? |
[13:09] | – You go, I don’t mind. – I’m not going with him! | – 你去吧 我无所谓的 – 我才不和他一起去! |
[13:11] | I don’t even know the guy! | 我根本都不认识他! |
[13:13] | Look, they did this for me before. | 听着 我以前在你们这里换过 |
[13:15] | Look, I can give you these, and you can roll them yourself. | 那么 我只能给你这个 你要自己把它们卷起来 |
[13:18] | You want me to roll 6000 of these? | 你想让我把6000个硬币卷起来? |
[13:20] | What, should I quit my job? | 我是不是应该辞个职 专职来卷硬币? |
[13:23] | No, I do not like the bank. I’ve heard the expression: | 不 我讨厌银行 我听到过这样的评价: |
[13:26] | “Laughing all the way to the bank.” I’ve never seen anyone actually do it. | “一路微笑着走进银行” 事实上我从没见过谁有这表情 |
[13:31] | And those bank lines. | 还有银行的那些排队线 |
[13:33] | I hate it when there’s nobody on the line at all. | 我恨它们 尤其是根本没有人的时候 |
[13:36] | You now that part? You go to the bank, it’s empty… | 你们知道的 当你走进银行 没有人… |
[13:38] | …and you still have to go through the little maze. | …可你还是要穿梭于那些迷宫之中 |
[13:42] | “Could you get some cheese for me? I’m almost at the front. | “能给我来点奶酪吗”? 我就快到了 |
[13:44] | I’d like a reward for this, please.” | “我是不是该有点奖励 求求你” |
[13:47] | – Thirty-two, 33… – George. | – 乔治 |
[13:49] | Not now, 33… | 没看我正忙 33… |
[13:53] | – Thirty… – Could you stop the counting? | – 别数了? |
[13:59] | – What? – Can I make it up to you? | – 什么? – 我直接给你好了? |
[14:01] | I’ll give you $50 for the jug. | 我给你50块 |
[14:03] | Oh, yeah, sure. Keep your money. | 哦 你还是省省吧 |
[14:05] | Well, then I’m not gonna go to the game either. | 好吧 那我也不去看球赛了 |
[14:07] | Okay, I’ll give him both tickets. | 我把两张票都给他好了 |
[14:09] | Go. Go! | 随便 随便! |
[14:16] | l… No, I don’t want to go. | … 我不想去 |
[14:19] | – He was really crying? – I had to give him a tissue. | – 他真的哭了? – 我都给他递纸巾了 |
[14:22] | In fact, let me call his machine now, and I’ll make up some excuse… | 那我来打个电话 找些理由… |
[14:25] | …why I can’t go to the game either. | …为什么我也不能去了 |
[14:28] | Wait. Wait a minute. As long as you’re gonna lie to the guy… | 等一下 等一下 你如果想对那家伙撒谎的话… |
[14:31] | …why don’t you tell him that you lost both of the tickets. Then we can go. | …你不如说你把两张票都弄丢了 这样我们就可以一起去了 |
[14:34] | George, the man wept. | 乔治 那个男人都泪湿巾了 |
[14:38] | Hey, guys. | 嘿 兄弟们 |
[14:40] | Man, I’m telling you, this pizza idea is really gonna happen. | 老兄 我跟你说 我的完美披萨计划就要实现了 |
[14:46] | This is the thing where you go and you have to make your own pizza? | 你是说让人们自己做披萨? |
[14:49] | We give you the dough. | 我提供你们生面团 |
[14:50] | You smash it. You pound it. You fling it up in the air. | 你们粉碎它 猛击它 把它抛向空中 |
[14:54] | And then you get to put your sauce and sprinkle your cheese. | 然后放调料 洒芝士粉 |
[14:56] | And then, you slide it into the oven. | 然后 把它们扔进烤箱 |
[15:02] | You have to know how to do that. | 你首先得了解怎么做啊 |
[15:04] | You can’t have people shoving their arms into a 600-degree oven! | 你怎么能让人家把手 伸进600度高温的烤箱! |
[15:08] | – It’s all supervised. – Oh, well… | – 都是有监督的 – 算了吧 你… |
[15:10] | All of it! | 全部都有! |
[15:13] | – You want to invest? – My money’s tied up in change. | – 你想投资吗? – 我现在的钱都是硬币 |
[15:15] | You know, look. I’m telling you. | 那个啥… 我告诉你 |
[15:17] | People, they really want to make their own pizza pie. | 人们真的很乐意自己动手做披萨的 |
[15:20] | I have to say something, with all due respect. | 我满怀敬意的想要说一些东西 |
[15:23] | I just never… I can’t imagine anyone… | 我只是从来… 没想像过任何一个人… |
[15:26] | …in any walk of life, under any circumstance… | …不管是任何职业阶层 任何情况下… |
[15:29] | …wanting to make their own pizza pie. | …会想要去自己动手做披萨 |
[15:32] | – But that’s me. – Well, okay. | – 这是我 – 好吧 没关系 |
[15:34] | – That’s you. – I’m just saying. | – 那是你 – 我只是说说 |
[15:36] | I just wanted to check with you guys. This business is going to be big. | 我就是来和你们确认一下 这次我要玩把大的 |
[15:39] | I just want to… Okay. | 我就是在想… 好吧 |
[15:44] | One day, you’ll beg me to make your own pie. | 总有一天 你要来求我的 |
[15:53] | Hi, Joel. This is Jerry. I hope you get this before you… | 嗨 乔尔 我是杰瑞 希望你能在回家后… |
[15:57] | Oh, hi, Joel. Oh, you just came in. | 哦 嗨 乔尔 哦 你正好到家 |
[15:59] | Listen, I can’t make it to the game tonight. | 是这样 今晚我不能去看球赛了 |
[16:04] | I have to tutor my nephew. | 我要给我侄子上辅导课 |
[16:06] | Yeah, he’s got an exam tomorrow. | 是的 他明天有考试 |
[16:09] | Geometry. | 几何学 |
[16:11] | You know, trapezoid, rhombus. | 梯形 菱形 |
[16:13] | Anyway, listen, you take the tickets. They’re at the will-call window. | 不管怎么样 你去拿票吧 在预定取票窗口 |
[16:17] | And I’m really sorry. Have a good time. We’ll talk next week, okay? Yeah. | 真得很抱歉 玩得愉快 下周再说? 好的 |
[16:22] | Yeah. I don’t… Fine. | 好的 我不… 好 |
[16:24] | Fine, bye. | 好 再见 |
[16:28] | “Trapezoid”? | 梯形? |
[16:30] | I know. I’m really running out of excuses with this guy. | 我知道很蠢 可我真的是没借口好说了 |
[16:33] | I need some kind of excuse Rolodex. | 我需要一个借口库之类的东西 |
[16:42] | Come on. Let’s go do something. I don’t want to just sit around here. | 我们出去干点啥吧 在这呆的好无聊 |
[16:45] | – Wanna get something to eat? – Where? | – 想去吃东西吗? – 去哪? |
[16:47] | I don’t care. I’m not hungry. | 无所谓 反正我不饿 |
[16:50] | We could go to one of those cappuccino places. | 我们可以去咖啡屋 |
[16:52] | They let you just sit there. | 你可以坐在那里 |
[16:54] | What are we gonna do there, talk? | 坐在那干什么 聊天? |
[16:57] | We can talk. | 可以啊 |
[16:59] | I’ll go if I don’t have to talk. | 如果不用聊天 我就去 |
[17:02] | Then we’ll just sit there. | 那我们也可以不说话就坐在那里啊 |
[17:04] | Okay, I’m gonna check my machine first. | 好吧 我先查一下机器 |
[17:12] | “Picking someone up at airport, jury duty… | 去机场接人… 参加陪审团… |
[17:14] | …waiting for cable company.” – Okay, just hand that over, please. | – …等电缆公司 – 好了 请递给我 |
[17:18] | – What is this? – It’s a list of excuses. | – 这是什么? – 借口备忘录 |
[17:21] | It’s for that guy Horneck, who’s at the game tonight with my tickets. | 对付霍内克那个家伙用的 就是今晚要拿我的票去看球赛的那个家伙 |
[17:25] | I have that list now, so in case he calls, I just consult it… | 现在我有借口备忘录了 如果他再打来 我可以作参考… |
[17:28] | …and I don’t have to see him. | …就不用见到他了 |
[17:33] | – God. – I need it. | – 上帝 – 给我 |
[17:36] | – What are you doing? – I got some for you. | – 你干什么? – 我再给你写两个 |
[17:38] | – Oh, I don’t need any more. – No, no, no. | – 哦 不用了 够了 – 不 不 不够 |
[17:40] | These are good. Listen, listen. | 这些很好 听着 |
[17:43] | “You ran out of underwear, you can’t leave the house.” | “你内裤都用完了 所以出不了门了” |
[17:46] | Very funny. | 好好笑哦 |
[17:49] | How about you’ve been diagnosed… | 或者说你被诊断出… |
[17:51] | …as a multiple personality? You’re not even you. | …多重人格分裂症? 你已经不是你了 |
[17:55] | You’re Dan. | 你是丹 |
[17:57] | I’m Dan. | 我是丹 |
[17:58] | – Can I have my list back, please? – Here. Here. | – 能先把借口单子给我吗? – 给你 给你 |
[18:03] | Jerry Seinfeld, I cannot believe you are doing this. | 杰瑞・宋飞,不敢相信你竟然这样 |
[18:06] | This is absolutely infantile. | 简直太幼稚了 |
[18:10] | – What can I do? – Deal with it. Be a man. | – 不然我能怎样? – 勇敢面对,像个男人 |
[18:14] | Oh, no. | 噢,不行 |
[18:17] | That’s impossible. I’d rather lie to him the rest of my life… | 不可能啊 我宁愿一辈子对他说谎 |
[18:21] | …than go through that again. | 也不愿意再经历一次 |
[18:23] | He was crying. | 他哭了 |
[18:24] | Tears, accompanied by mucus. | 一把鼻涕一把泪啊 |
[18:29] | You made a man cry? | 你让一个男人哭了? |
[18:31] | I never made a man cry. | 我还没让男人哭过 |
[18:33] | I even kicked a guy in the groin once, and he didn’t cry. | 我曾经把一男踢个大窟窿,他都不哭一下 |
[18:37] | I got the cab. | 我还抢到了出租车 |
[18:41] | A couple of tough monkeys. | 蛮强悍的嘛 |
[18:45] | Hi, Elaine. | 你好,伊莲 |
[18:47] | Hey, you missed a great game tonight. | 嘿,你今晚错过了一场彩球赛 |
[18:49] | – Game? – Knick game. | – 球赛? – 尼克队的比赛啊 |
[18:50] | Horneck took me. We’re sitting two rows behind the bench. | 霍内克带我去了 我们就坐在球员休憩区后面两行 |
[18:53] | We were getting hit by sweat! | 我们都被汗水溅到了! |
[18:57] | Wait. How does Horneck know you? | 霍内克怎么会认识你啊? |
[18:59] | Last week, when I, you know, gave you the phone. | 上星期,我让你接电话的时候 |
[19:02] | He’s really into my pizza place idea. | 他对这个披萨店的主意非常有兴趣 |
[19:03] | – This is too much. – Wait. What pizza place idea? | – 这下可好了 – 等等,什么披萨店? |
[19:06] | Oh, no. | 噢,不 |
[19:08] | You get to make your own pie. | 你可以自己动手做披萨 |
[19:10] | That sounds like a great idea. It would be fun. | 听起来不错啊,肯定很好玩 |
[19:14] | – Kramer! – Yeah! | – 克莱默! – 是! |
[19:16] | Perfect. | 太好了 |
[19:17] | Hey! | 嘿! |
[19:20] | Okay, who wants meat loaf? | 好,谁要肉卷? |
[19:23] | – No, thanks. – No, no. | – 不用了,谢谢 – 不,不 |
[19:24] | It’s gonna be hot in a minute. | 一分钟就好 |
[19:27] | So I thought you were tutoring your nephew. | 我还以为你在给外甥女补课呢 |
[19:30] | – We finished early. – I’ll bet. | – 我们很早就补完了 – 是啊 |
[19:33] | So are you going to introduce me to your nephew? | 那你要介绍我给你外甥女认识吗? |
[19:37] | Elaine Benes, this is Joel Horneck. | 伊莲・贝尼斯,这是乔尔・霍内克 |
[19:40] | Whoa, Nelson. | 哇 尼尔逊 |
[19:43] | This is Elaine. | 这是伊莲 |
[19:45] | – I thought you guys split up. – We’re still friends. | – 我还以为你们分手了 – 我们还是朋友 |
[19:49] | So… | 那么… |
[19:51] | Thanks again for those tickets, But next week, I’m gonna take you. | 谢谢你的门票,但下星期我要和你去 |
[19:54] | How about next Tuesday night? Why don’t you come along. | 下星期二晚上好不好? 要不你也一起来 |
[19:57] | Oh, no, no. Tuesday’s no good because we’ve got choir practice. | 噢,不不,星期二不行 因为我们唱诗班要练习 |
[20:02] | Right. | 对 |
[20:04] | – Forgot about choir. – Yeah. | – 忘记唱诗班了 – 对 |
[20:06] | We’re… We’re doing that evening… | 我们… 我们那晚要… |
[20:08] | …of Eastern European national anthems. | …演唱东欧国歌 |
[20:10] | Right. You know… | 对,你知道… |
[20:12] | …the wall being down and everything. | …墙倒下来了,诸如此类的 |
[20:16] | Well, what about Thursday night? I mean, they’re playing the Sonics. | 那星期四怎么样? 那晚有超音速队的比赛 |
[20:20] | Thursday is not good because we’ve gotta get to the hospital… | 星期四不行,因为我们要去医院… |
[20:25] | …to see if we qualify as those organ donors. | …看我们是不是有资格做器官捐赠人 |
[20:28] | I should really try something like that. | 我真应该去试试 |
[20:30] | You really should. | 你真应该去 |
[20:33] | Well, let’s just take a look here. | 看看赛程表吧 |
[20:36] | Forty-one home games. | 41场主场比赛 |
[20:38] | Let’s see, Saturday night we got the Mavericks. | 星期六晚上有小牛队 |
[20:40] | If you don’t like the Mavericks, next Tuesday, Lakers. | 如果不喜欢小牛队 下星期二还有湖人队 |
[20:43] | I mean, you gotta like Magic, right? | 你肯定会喜欢魔术强森吧? |
[20:44] | Now, let’s see. On the road, on the road, on the road… | 再来看看 有了,有了… |
[20:47] | Back, back on the 14th. | 回到14号 |
[20:49] | They play the Bulls. You can’t miss Air Jordan… | 有公牛队,你总不能从过飞人乔丹吧 |
[20:53] | I’ve come to the conclusion that there are certain friends in your life… | 我已经得出了一个结论 你生活中有某些朋友 |
[20:56] | …that they’re just always your friends, and you have to accept it. | 他们会一直是你的朋友 而你必须接受 |
[20:59] | You see them. You don’t want to see them. You don’t call them. | 你见到他们,却不太想见到他们 你不打电话给他们 |
[21:02] | They call you. | 他们打给你 |
[21:04] | You don’t call back, they call again. | 你不回电话,他们就继续打 |
[21:07] | The way to get through talking with people… | 要和这些没有任何共同语言的人聊天 |
[21:09] | …you have nothing in common with… | 唯一的办法 |
[21:11] | …is to pretend you’re hosting your own little talk show. | 就是要装作你在主持自己的脱口秀 |
[21:14] | This is what I do. Pretend there’s a little desk around you. | 我就是这样做的 假装下面一个小桌子 |
[21:17] | There’s a little chair over there, and you interview them. | 还有小椅子,你就面对着他们 |
[21:20] | The only problem is, there’s no way to say: | 唯一的问题就是,永远不能说 |
[21:22] | “Hey, it’s been great having you on the show. | “嘿,真荣幸你能来看我的秀 |
[21:25] | We’re out of time.” | 快乐的时光过得特别快” |