| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | I don’t belong to a health club. I have a limit on naked men I see in one day. | 我不去健身俱乐部 我一天见的裸体男人数量是有限的 |
| [00:07] | Zero. | 零个 |
| [00:09] | That’s it. | 就这么多 |
| [00:11] | What is with the high level of security at health clubs, you know? | 为什么健身俱乐部的保全要这么严密？ |
| [00:14] | The picture IDs. Security guards. Signing in and out. | 图象识别，安全警卫，出入登记 |
| [00:17] | What is this, the Kremlin? | 这是干什么啊？这里是克里姆林宫？ |
| [00:19] | I mean, the people with a membership go twice a year. Who’s breaking in? | 有会员资格的人一年也只去两次 谁还会闯进来的？ |
| [00:24] | Is this a big problem, people stealing exercise? | 这是个大问题吗？ 难道人们会偷着去锻炼？ |
| [00:28] | And what if they catch the person? What then? They run. It’s aerobic. | 假如他们捉到这个人，会怎样？ 他们会跑，这是有氧运动 |
| [00:31] | Makes it even worse. | 不正好中了窃贼的下怀吗？ “植入” |
| [00:40] | – Hi, Jerry. – Oh, hi, Sidra. | – 你好，杰瑞 – 哦，你好，西卓拉 |
| [00:43] | I last about 10 minutes on the StairMaster. | 我在台阶机上练了10分钟了 （StairMaster，班霸牌，台阶机的创始品牌） |
| [00:45] | Unless someone’s stretching in front of me in a leotard, then I can go an hour. | 除非有人穿着紧身裤在我面前做伸展运动 那样我能坚持一小时 |
| [00:50] | – Really? – That’s why it’s called the StairMaster. | – 真的吗？ – 所以它叫台阶机嘛 |
| [00:52] | You get up there and you stare. | 你可以在上面俯视 |
| [00:54] | Well, I’m done. I think I’m gonna go take a sauna. | 好，我做完了，我想去来个桑拿浴 |
| [00:58] | I’ll see you Thursday night? | 那星期四晚上见？ |
| [01:00] | – Thursday night. – Okay. | – 星期四晚上见 – 好 |
| [01:03] | Good workout? | 健身得不错吧？ |
| [01:05] | Tremendous workout. | 好极了 |
| [01:08] | – It’s a pretty girl. – Tremendous girl. | – 这女孩挺漂亮的 – 简直漂亮极了 |
| [01:11] | – She the one you went out with? – Yeah. I really like her. | – 你昨晚就是跟她出去的？ – 是的，我真的好喜欢她 |
| [01:15] | You know, they’re fake. | 你知道吗，那对胸是假的 |
| [01:20] | – What? Don’t say that. – No. They’re fake. | – 什么？别那样说 – 不，它们是假的 |
| [01:23] | – How do you know? – I can tell. | – 你怎么知道？ – 我能看出来 |
| [01:25] | You know how you always brag how you can spot a lesbian? | 你不是一直吹牛说能辨别女同性恋？ |
| [01:29] | I’m not bragging. I happen to have a very keen lesbian eye. | 我才没吹牛 我只是有一双辨别女同性恋的慧眼 |
| [01:32] | Hi, how you doing? | 嗨，你好？ |
| [01:34] | Oh, right. | 哦，得了 |
| [01:37] | Come on. Don’t you think they seem just a bit too perfect? | 你不觉得她的胸有点太完美了吗？ |
| [01:41] | Yes, they do. | 是的，就是这么完美 |
| [01:45] | I never knew you were into breasts. Thought you were a leg man. | 我不知道你原来迷女人的胸 我一直以为你更看重女人的腿 |
| [01:48] | Leg man? Why would I be a leg man? I don’t need legs. I have legs. | 腿？我怎么会更看重腿？ 我才不在乎腿，我自己又不是没有 |
| [01:54] | Have you seen her naked in the locker room? | 你在更衣室见过她裸体吗？ |
| [01:56] | – No. – Then I can’t accept your testimony. | – 没有 – 那么我不相信你的结论 |
| [01:58] | Maybe if you’d seen her naked. | 也许你该看看她的裸体 |
| [02:00] | – I don’t wanna see her naked. – Well, I do. | – 我才不想看她裸体 – 我想啊 |
| [02:02] | Well, that’s your problem. | 那是你的事情 |
| [02:04] | Look, you made the allegation. The least you could do is follow up. | 瞧，你有了你的结论 至少应该证明一下啊 |
| [02:08] | Jerry, what am I gonna do? Go in there and spy on her in the sauna? | 杰瑞，我能怎么办？ 跟着去偷看她桑拿吗？ |
| [02:12] | Yes. Go in there. Do a little investigative journalism. | 是的，去吧，当一回狗仔队！ |
| [02:16] | I need to know. | 我想知道 |
| [02:17] | But a few more dates, you can find out for yourself. | 你们再约会几次 你自己就能找到答案了 |
| [02:20] | Don’t be so sure. Look at George. | 那可不一定，看看乔治 |
| [02:22] | He’s on his ninth date with Betsy. Still hasn’t got anywhere. | 他跟贝丝蒂已经约会9次了 但什么进展都没有 |
| [02:25] | What’s his problem? | 他有什么问题？ |
| [02:26] | Every time he makes a move something screws up. | 每次他一想行动就会出乱子 |
| [02:29] | Their last date they were on the couch… | 上一次约会，他们坐在沙发上… |
| [02:31] | …but she was on his wrong side. – Wrong side? | – 但她坐的位置不对 – 位置不对？ |
| [02:33] | Yeah, she was on his right side. He can’t make a move with his left hand. | 是的，她坐在他右边 他的左手过不去 |
| [02:37] | Can’t go left. | 他左手够不着 |
| [02:39] | – He can’t go left? – No. | – 他左手够不着？ – 恩 |
| [02:41] | I’m lefty. Can’t go right. | 我是左撇子，右手够不着 |
| [02:44] | What about women? They go left or right? | 女人呢？有没有左右之分呢？ |
| [02:46] | No, we just play defense. | 没有，我们防守就行了 |
| [03:11] | Could I ask you a question? | 我可以问你个问题吗？ |
| [03:14] | Would you mind switching seats? | 你介意我们交换下位置吗？ |
| [03:18] | Actually, I’d really prefer to sit here. I don’t hear very well out of this ear. | 事实上，我比较喜欢坐在这边 我右耳的听力不太好 |
| [03:25] | I always try to sit to the right of people. | 我总是设法坐到别人的右边 |
| [03:30] | I’ll shout. | 我可以用喊的 |
| [03:33] | Well, I really think I feel more comfortable here. | 真的，坐这边我感到更舒适 |
| [03:36] | Come on, come on. | 来吧，来吧 |
| [03:38] | – Come on, really. Come on. – George, l… | – 来吧，真的，来吧 – 乔治，我… |
| [03:39] | – Now, come on. – No, I really… | – 快，来嘛 – 不，我真的… |
| [03:48] | See, now is that so bad? | 看，也不是很糟糕吧？ |
| [03:51] | What? | 什么？ |
| [03:54] | – Oh, l… – The machine will get it. | – 哦，我… – 让留言机去接吧 |
| [03:56] | No, it’s not on. | 不行，我没开留言机 |
| [03:58] | – They’ll call back. – George, what if it’s an emergency? | – 他们会再打来的 – 乔治，万一是紧急事件怎么办？ |
| [04:01] | In the whole world right now there’s maybe three emergencies. | 现在这世上一共就三种紧急事件 |
| [04:03] | Why would you think on this planet that you’re one of those three? | 你觉得你就能摊上这三分之一吗？ |
| [04:06] | George, please. | 乔治，不要这样 |
| [04:12] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [04:14] | What? | 什么？ |
| [04:15] | Oh, my God. | 噢，我的天哪 |
| [04:18] | All right, maybe four. | 好吧，可能有四种 |
| [04:24] | Boy, I’m really sweating. | 天哪，我正在流汗 |
| [04:26] | Good sweat. Beads of sweat. Sweating bullets. | 流得好，珠子一样的汗水 像子弹一样的汗水 |
| [04:30] | Look at her. | 看她 |
| [04:32] | I don’t need to see her naked to know those aren’t real. | 我不用看她裸体 就能知道那对胸不是真的 |
| [04:35] | I mean, why’d she even tie the towel around her? | 我是说，她为什么要裹浴巾？ |
| [04:37] | She’s got a rack on her chest. | 因为她那对胸是假的！ |
| [04:42] | Oh, God. Sidra’s taking the towel off. | 哦，天哪，西卓拉正拿掉她的浴巾 |
| [04:48] | Doctor. | 好家伙 |
| [04:50] | That’s it. | 就是这样 |
| [04:52] | I knew it. I knew it. They’re definitely fake. | 我就知道，我就知道 它们确实是假的 |
| [04:54] | So when’s the funeral? | 葬礼是什么时候？ |
| [04:58] | Oh, well. | 噢，好的 |
| [05:00] | Aunt Clarice was so ill I guess it was really a blessing. | 克拉丽斯姑妈一直病得很严重 这次她也算是解脱了 |
| [05:13] | Yeah, I’ll fly home as soon as I can. | 是的，我会尽快坐飞机赶回去 |
| [05:22] | Okay. You too. Get some sleep. | 好的，你也是，注意休息 |
| [05:34] | – You’re sure? – Positive. | – 你确定？ – 是的 |
| [05:36] | This chick’s playing with Confederate money. | 这小妞的胸肯定是花钱整过的 |
| [05:39] | Then that’s it. That’s the end of that. | 那就没办法了，我们之间完了 |
| [05:41] | – What? Just because that? – Just because of that? | – 什么？就是因为这个？ – 你这么问什么意思？ |
| [05:43] | It’s like finding out Mickey Mantle corked his bat. | 就像发现米奇・曼托的球棒是假的 |
| [05:48] | You’ve dated women with nose jobs. What’s the difference? | 你也跟隆过鼻的女人约会 有什么不同？ |
| [05:51] | You don’t touch the nose. You don’t aspire to reach the nose. | 你不会去摸鼻子 你不会想要去摸鼻子 |
| [05:56] | You don’t unhook anything to get to a nose… | 你不必为了摸个鼻子解开任何东西… |
| [05:58] | …and no man has ever tried to look up a woman’s nostrils. | 而且没有一个男人 会想抬头看女人的鼻孔 |
| [06:05] | You’ve put a lot of thought into this, haven’t you? | 你花了很多心思在这方面，是吗？ |
| [06:08] | Well, I take it very seriously. | 嗯，这方面我比较顶真 |
| [06:10] | Sometimes when I think you’re the shallowest man I’ve ever met… | 有时我认为你是我遇到过最肤浅的人… |
| [06:15] | …you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool. | 而你总有办法更胜一筹 |
| [06:20] | – Hey. | – Hey. – 嘿 – 嘿 |
| [06:24] | – Hey. | – Hey. – 嘿 – 嘿 |
| [06:25] | You know, I do kind of wonder what fake breasts feel like. | 我有点想知道人造胸摸起来什么感觉 |
| [06:28] | Well, I know what they feel like. | 噢，我知道是什么感觉 |
| [06:30] | You? How do you know? | 你？你是怎么知道的？ |
| [06:31] | Well, I lived in Los Angeles for three months. | 我在洛杉机住过三个月 |
| [06:34] | – I thought you hated Los Angeles. – No, I do. | – 我还以为你讨厌洛杉机 – 是的，我讨厌 |
| [06:38] | Just miss the warm weather, you know? | 就是想念那里温暖的天气，你知道的？ |
| [06:41] | Oh, man, I wish I could get away. | 噢，老天，真希望能躲一躲 |
| [06:43] | Real busy now, down at the office? | 现在这么忙啊？ 一直在办公室忙着办公？ |
| [06:45] | No. You know who I saw at the health club? | 不是 你知道我在健身俱乐部看到谁了？ |
| [06:48] | Salman Rushdie. | 萨尔曼・鲁西迪 （萨尔曼・鲁西迪，魔幻写实主义作家 生于印度孟买，十四岁移居英国） |
| [06:50] | – No. – Yeah, right. | – 不会吧 – 你就吹吧 |
| [06:53] | Salman Rushdie. | 萨尔曼・鲁西迪 |
| [06:55] | Well, I could see that. You got five million Moslems after you. | 哦，我懂了 他身后有500万穆斯林信徒 |
| [06:58] | You wanna stay in pretty good shape. | 所以想保持好身材 |
| [07:01] | I know what the problem is. | 我知道问题出在哪里 |
| [07:03] | I like her too much. That’s why I can’t make a move. | 我太喜欢她了 所以我才不敢冒冒然出击 |
| [07:06] | – You put her on a pedestal. – I put them on a dental chair. | – 你把她看得很重啊 – 我把她们放倒在牙医所的椅子上 |
| [07:10] | He puts them on a dental chair. | 他把她们放倒在牙医所的椅子上 |
| [07:13] | I’m not her boyfriend. I wanna be her boyfriend. | 我又不是她男朋友 我倒想做她男朋友 |
| [07:18] | It’s like a sauna in here. | 这儿热得跟蒸桑拿似的 |
| [07:26] | – That’s funny. – You’re a funny guy. | – 很好笑 – 你是个有趣的家伙 |
| [07:27] | Never heard that before. | 这笑话我从来没听过 |
| [07:30] | So you going to the funeral? | 你打算去葬礼吗？ |
| [07:32] | – You think I should? – Are you kidding? | – 你认为我该去吗？ – 你在开玩笑？ |
| [07:34] | It’s a golden opportunity to advance the relationship. | 这是个绝好的机会 可以增进你们的关系 |
| [07:36] | She’s crying. You put your arm around her and console her. | 她在哭，你就用手臂抱住并安慰她 |
| [07:39] | You’re the consolation guy. | 你就是这个安慰的人 |
| [07:41] | – I’m the consolation guy. – Consolation guy is big. | – 我是安慰的人 – 安慰的人了不起 |
| [07:46] | Her aunt dying is the best thing for you. | 她姑妈的死对你来说是绝好的机会 |
| [07:48] | It’s like 10 dates in one shot. | 就像一下子约了10次会 |
| [07:52] | This confers upon you instant boyfriend status. | 这是展现你男朋友形象的时机 |
| [07:55] | The family’s there. | 家人在那里 |
| [07:57] | You’re taking care of things. You’re getting sandwiches. You’re the rock. | 你处处照顾她，帮她去拿三明治 你是她坚强的后盾 |
| [08:01] | It’s in Detroit, though. It’s an expensive flight. | 葬礼在底特律，机票很贵啊 |
| [08:03] | Why don’t you get a “death in the family” fare? | 你为何不搭“家人死亡”的特价航班？ |
| [08:07] | What? | 什么？ |
| [08:10] | Go to the airlines. Tell them that you have a death in the family… | 你去航空公司 告诉他们你家里有人死了… |
| [08:13] | …they give you 50 percent off the fare. | …他们会给你5折的优惠 |
| [08:16] | – Really? – In fact… | – 真的吗？ – 事实上… |
| [08:17] | …listen, I’ll go with you. We’ll tell them there’s a death in my family. | 听着，我打算和你一起去 就说我家里有人死了 |
| [08:21] | You buy the ticket. I’ll split it. | 你来买票，我跟你平分费用 |
| [08:23] | Then I’ll get the bonus miles and you’ll get to Detroit for a quarter of the price. | 这样我拿到飞行奖励 而你只要花四分之一的钱就能到底特律 |
| [08:29] | Boy, I’m getting a good sweat here. Great sweat. Good beads. Nice beads. | 天，我汗出得真舒服，出得好 再出点汗，再出点汗 |
| [08:35] | Oh, look who’s here. Silicon Valley. | 哦，看看谁来了，高科技人造胸 |
| [08:41] | Oh, so anyway. We go out on one date, and he asks me out for a second… | 总之，我们约过一次会 他又约我出去… |
| [08:45] | …and then out of nowhere he calls me, cancels the date… | 之后他又无故取消约会… |
| [08:48] | …and says he doesn’t wanna see me again. | 并说他以后再也不想看到我 |
| [08:51] | Sorry. I couldn’t help overhearing. | 不好意思，我无意中听到了 |
| [08:54] | – Oh, that’s okay. – Did he give you a reason? | – 哦，没事的 – 他有说明原因吗？ |
| [08:57] | Yeah. He’s going back to his old girlfriend. | 嗯，他打算回到以前的女友那里 |
| [09:01] | Really? | 真的吗？ |
| [09:02] | Said she’s mentally ill. | 他说她得神经病了 |
| [09:07] | He’s one of those guys who is obsessed with neatness and order. | 他是那种有洁癖的完美主义者 |
| [09:11] | Everything has gotta be just so. He would have made a great Nazi. | 所有事情必须完美无缺 他做纳粹再适合不过了 |
| [09:19] | Hey, does he ever talk about Superman? | 嘿，他有跟你谈过超人吗？ |
| [09:21] | – Yes. How did you know? – I know the type. | – 有啊，你怎么知道的？ – 我知道这种人 |
| [09:26] | – Oh, so you can relate? – Oh, yeah. | – 哦，所以你推测到了？ – 哦，是的 |
| [09:28] | You know, I’ve seen you around the club. My name’s Sidra. This is Marcy. | 我在俱乐部见过你 我叫西卓拉，这是马希 |
| [09:32] | – Oh, hi. I’m Elaine. – Hi. | – 哦，你好，我叫伊莲 – 你好 |
| [09:41] | Anyway, I stood up to shake her hand and suddenly I lost my balance… | 总之，我站起来要去跟她握手 但突然失去平衡… |
| [09:45] | …and I fell right into her. – You fell on her? | – 我跌倒在她身上 – 你跌倒在她身上？ |
| [09:48] | I touched them. | 我摸到了 |
| [09:52] | You what? | 你说什么？ |
| [09:54] | I touched them. | 我摸到她的胸了 |
| [09:57] | You touched them? | 你摸到她的胸了？ |
| [09:58] | I needed them to help me break my fall. | 我需要借助它们防止摔倒 |
| [10:01] | If it hadn’t been for them, I could have really injured myself. | 否则我可能真的会伤到自己 |
| [10:08] | Anyway… | 总之… |
| [10:10] | …they’re real. | 它们是真的 |
| [10:13] | Excuse me. | 你说什么？！ |
| [10:16] | I think they might be real. | 我想它们可能是真的 |
| [10:18] | Oh, what do you know? You have no breast-touching experience. | 哦，你怎么知道？ 你又没有摸胸的经历 |
| [10:21] | – I’ve touched mine. – So have I. | – 我摸过自己的 – 我也是 |
| [10:25] | Oh, right, I forgot. | 哦，对，我忘了 |
| [10:31] | Anyway, touching two breasts doesn’t make you an expert. | 总之 平时摸摸胸不会让你成为胸部专家 |
| [10:34] | All right. Anyway, I think they’re real, and if they are, they are spectacular. | 算了，总之，我想它们是真的 如果是真的，就太壮观了 |
| [10:43] | What are you doing to me? | 你都对我做了什么？ |
| [10:49] | You see… | 你看… |
| [10:50] | …my friend here, his aunt passed away last… | …我的这位朋友，他的姑妈刚过世 |
| [10:54] | Oh, I’m very sorry. | 哦，我感到很遗憾 |
| [10:55] | I saw her last week. She looked healthy and peaceful but she knew. | 我上星期看她还很健康安宁 但她自己知道就要不久于世了 |
| [11:01] | You poor thing. | 真可怜啊 |
| [11:04] | You don’t think you could buy the ticket yourself? Oh, no, okay. | 你没办法自己买票？ 哦，没事，好的 |
| [11:07] | – I couldn’t… – No, please. There, there. You sit. | – 我不能… – 不用了，请这，这边坐 |
| [11:12] | I’ll purchase the ticket for you. | 我替你买票 |
| [11:14] | You’re a good friend. | 你真是个好朋友 |
| [11:16] | I understand you offer a 50-percent-off bereavement fare? | 你们是不是提供五折的“丧亲”优惠？ |
| [11:20] | Yes. You have to pay the full fare now then return to one of our counters… | 是的，您只需要现在支付全额费用 然后带死亡证明的复印件… |
| [11:25] | …with a copy of the death certificate, and we’ll refund half your fare. | …来我们任何一个柜台 我们会退还您一半的费用 |
| [11:32] | The death certificate? | 死亡证明？ |
| [11:34] | Yes, we do need documentation or people could take advantage. | 是的，我们需要书面的证明 否则人们可能会钻空子占便宜 |
| [11:38] | What kind of a sick person would do a thing like that? | 怎么有人会变态到做出这种事？ |
| [11:43] | I know but it happens. | 我知道，但这种事情常发生 |
| [11:45] | You want my friend to ask his uncle, a man who lost his wife of 44 years… | 你要我朋友去叫 刚失去44年结发妻子的叔叔… |
| [11:50] | …for a death certificate to save a few bucks on a flight? | 就为了要一份死亡证明 来节省一点点航班费用？ |
| [11:53] | That would be $387 round trip. | 也就是往返387美元 |
| [11:56] | – You’ll need my frequent flyer number. – Yes. | – 那么你可能需要我常用的飞行帐号 – 是的 |
| [12:03] | I don’t know. One minute they’re fake… | 我不懂，一会儿你觉得它们是假的 |
| [12:05] | …the next they’re real. I don’t know what to believe. | 一会儿它们又成真的了 我都不知该相信哪个了 |
| [12:08] | Hey, of the two of us, I’m the only one who’s touched them. | 嘿，我们两个中间 我是唯一碰过它们的 |
| [12:14] | Well, you were grabbing onto them to save your life. | 你不过是抓住它们救命而已 |
| [12:16] | If you were drowning and I threw you a life preserver… | 如果你快淹死了，我扔给你个救生工具… |
| [12:18] | …you think you could tell me if it was an inflatable? | 你认为你能说清楚 摸到的是不是硅胶？ |
| [12:21] | I wouldn’t have said anything if I’d known you’d stop seeing her. | 要是我早知道你会因此不再见她 我什么也不会说的 |
| [12:23] | I don’t mind a phony personality but I gotta draw the line somewhere. | 我不介意她性格虚伪 但有些事是有底线的 |
| [12:29] | – Hey. | – Hey. – 嘿 – 嘿 |
| [12:31] | – George off to Detroit? – Yep. And in two days… | – 乔治去底特律了？ – 是的，还有两天后… |
| [12:34] | …I’m off to Puerto Rico. | 我将去波多黎各 |
| [12:36] | Hey, Kramer, by the way… | 嗨，克莱默，顺便说一下… |
| [12:38] | …I saw that guy at the health club. That is not Salman Rushdie. | 我在健身俱乐部看到那家伙了 他不是萨尔曼・鲁西迪 |
| [12:42] | Wrong. | 你肯定看错了 |
| [12:47] | – There’s Sidra. – There’s Salman. | – 那是西卓拉 – 那是萨尔曼 |
| [12:48] | – Where? – Talking to that woman. | – 哪里？ – 正在跟那个女的说话 |
| [12:50] | – To Sidra? – If that’s Sidra, she’s talking to Salman. | – 跟西卓拉？ – 如果那是西卓拉，跟她说话的是萨尔曼 |
| [12:53] | – I don’t think that’s Salman. – I don’t think they’re real. | – 我不认为那是萨尔曼 – 我不认为它们是真的 |
| [12:55] | – If that’s Rushdie, they’re real. – If they’re real, that’s Rushdie. | – 如果那是鲁西迪，它们就是真的 – 如果它们是真的，那他是鲁西迪 |
| [12:58] | – I gotta know. I’m talking to Sidra. – I gotta know. I’m talking to Salman. | – 我要知道答案，我去问西卓拉 – 我要知道答案，我去问萨尔曼 |
| [13:02] | Like a sauna in here, huh? | 这儿跟蒸桑拿似的，是吧？ |
| [13:08] | Feel like I’m back at the desert. | 感觉就像回到沙漠一样 |
| [13:14] | – You’ve lived in the desert? – Oh, yeah. I’ve… | – 你曾在沙漠里生活过？ – 哦，是的，我曾经… |
| [13:18] | I spent a little time in the Mideast. | 我在中东呆过一段时间 |
| [13:22] | You ever been to the Mideast? | 你去过中东吗？ |
| [13:24] | – Yes, I’ve been there. – Look, my name’s Kramer. | – 是的，我去过 – 你好，我叫克莱默 |
| [13:28] | – Sal Bass. – Yeah. | – 我是萨尔・巴斯 – 好 |
| [13:30] | – Pleased to meet you, Kramer. – Yeah. | – 很高兴认识你，克莱默 – 我也是 |
| [13:32] | So… | 那么… |
| [13:35] | …what kind of work do you do? | 你做什么工作？ |
| [13:38] | I’m a writer. | 我是个作家 |
| [13:43] | – Have you met my boyfriend, George? – No. | – 你还见过我男朋友，乔治吧？ – 没有 |
| [13:47] | George, this is Aunt May and Father Jessup. | 乔治，这是梅姑妈和杰斯普神父 |
| [13:50] | Oh, and that’s my brother, Timmy. | 噢，那是我弟弟，提米 |
| [13:52] | This is my boyfriend, George. | 这是我男朋友，乔治 |
| [13:55] | Oh, George, how nice of you to come all this way. | 噢，乔治，你能远到而来，太好了 |
| [13:58] | Well, I’m the boyfriend. Otherwise, what’s the point of being the boyfriend. | 嗯，我是她男朋友 否则还要男朋友干嘛？ |
| [14:03] | This is where you have to be when you’re the boyfriend. | 这是男朋友该出现的场合 |
| [14:07] | Betsy, dear, have you had anything to eat? | 贝丝蒂，亲爱的，你吃东西了吗？ |
| [14:10] | – I’m not very hungry. – They have some very nice snacks. | – 我不是很饿 – 他们准备了非常好吃的点心 |
| [14:14] | I’m about to get myself a snack. | 我准备给自己拿些点心 |
| [14:17] | Oh, no. You sit right here. | 噢，不要了，你就坐在这里 |
| [14:20] | I will get you a nice snack. | 我给你去拿些好吃的点心 |
| [14:26] | This is my… | 这是我… |
| [14:29] | …third wake this month. | …这个月第三次守夜 |
| [14:32] | Never gets any easier. | 没有一次好挨的 |
| [14:34] | Well, losing a loved one is… | 嗯，失去爱人是… |
| [14:37] | I mean, forget about it. | 我是说，忘了吧 |
| [14:48] | You… | 你… |
| [14:51] | You seem to be of great comfort to Betsy. We’re very appreciative. | 你看起来给贝丝蒂很大安慰 我们很感谢你 |
| [14:54] | Comfort “schmomfort.” | 我才不想安慰人呢 |
| [14:58] | Listen, Father, can I ask you a question? | 听着，神父，我能问你个问题吗？ |
| [15:02] | In a terrible time like this… | 在像现在这样可悲的时候… |
| [15:05] | …who would I get the death certificate from? | …我可以向谁拿到死亡证明？ |
| [15:10] | – Oh, Jerry. – Oh, how can you be so sure? | – 哦，杰瑞 – 哦，你怎么能这么肯定？ |
| [15:13] | Jerry, are you blind? He’s a writer. He said his name was Sal Bass. | 杰瑞，你瞎了吗？他是个作家 他说他叫萨尔・巴斯 |
| [15:19] | Bass, Jerry. | 巴斯，杰瑞 |
| [15:20] | Instead of salmon, he went with bass. | 不是萨尔蒙，是巴斯 |
| [15:23] | He just substituted one fish for another. | 他只是换了个名字 |
| [15:27] | Look, you idiot, first of all, it’s “Salman,” not “salmon.” | 瞧，你这个笨蛋，首先， 是“萨尔曼”，而不是“萨尔蒙” |
| [15:31] | Jerry, Jerry, you’re missing the big picture. | 杰瑞，杰瑞，你没注意到总体情况 |
| [15:34] | All right. Maybe it is, but listen, I gotta get ready… | 好吧，也许你是对的 但听着，我要去准备… |
| [15:37] | …Sidra’s coming over so if you don’t mind… | …西卓拉要来了 你要是不介意的话… |
| [15:39] | – What, did you ask her? – I’m gonna find out tonight. | – 怎么，你叫她来了？ – 我想今晚就要搞明白 |
| [15:43] | Yes. | 好的 |
| [15:47] | Why do you need a death certificate? | 你为什么需要死亡证明？ |
| [15:51] | Well, Dr. Allenwood… | 那个，艾伦伍德医生… |
| [15:54] | …I was hoping to compile an… | 我打算编辑一个… |
| [15:57] | …admittedly rudimentary scrapbook of her life. | …大家公认的关于她的简介 |
| [16:03] | Something that Betsy could have and hold on to. | 就是一些贝丝蒂可以保存的东西 |
| [16:07] | Well, I suppose I could make a copy of it. | 嗯，我想我可以复印一份给你 |
| [16:09] | Oh, that would be wonderful. | 哦，那太好了 |
| [16:11] | – Well, it’s nice meeting you, George. – Likewise. | – 嗯，很高兴认识你，乔治 – 我也是 |
| [16:30] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么？ |
| [16:33] | – What? – Did…? | – 什么？ – 你… |
| [16:35] | Did you just double dip that chip? | 你刚把薯片蘸了两下？ |
| [16:38] | – Excuse me? – You double dipped the chip. | – 什么？ – 你把薯片蘸了两下 |
| [16:40] | Double dipped? What are you talking about? | 蘸了两下？你在说些什么？ |
| [16:43] | You dipped the chip. You took a bite… | 你拿薯片蘸了下酱，吃了一口… |
| [16:46] | …and you dipped again. | …然后又蘸了一下 |
| [16:50] | – So? – It’s like putting your whole mouth… | – 怎么了？ – 就像把你整张嘴… |
| [16:53] | …right in the dip. | …放到酱里面蘸 |
| [16:56] | From now on, when you take a chip just take one dip and end it. | 从现在开始，你要吃薯片 只准蘸一下，然后吃掉它 |
| [17:05] | Well, I’m sorry, Timmy… | 噢，不好意思，提米… |
| [17:09] | …but I don’t dip that way. | …但我不喜欢那样蘸 |
| [17:11] | – Oh, you don’t, huh? – No. | – 噢，你不喜欢？ – 不喜欢 |
| [17:13] | You dip the way you wanna dip… | 你按你的方式蘸… |
| [17:16] | …I’ll dip the way I wanna dip. | …我按我的方式来 |
| [17:18] | – Give me the chip. – Hey, hey, hey! | – 给我薯片 – 嘿，嘿，嘿！ |
| [17:19] | Give me the chip. | 把薯片给我！ |
| [17:22] | I don’t know what I’m doing here. I must be crazy. | 我不知道我在这里干什么 我一定是疯了 |
| [17:38] | – Hey, you mind switching seats? – Why? | – 嘿，你介意换个位置吗？ – 为什么？ |
| [17:41] | I don’t know. I like sitting to the left of people. Makes me feel like I’m driving. | 不知道，我喜欢坐在别人的左边 这让我感觉好像在开车 |
| [17:46] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:55] | – How you doing? – Good. | – 你最近怎样？ – 很好 |
| [17:58] | – How you doing? – Good. | – 你好吗？ – 很好 |
| [18:00] | Feel good. | 感觉不错 |
| [18:03] | You know that Jayne Mansfield had some big breasts. | 你知道简・曼斯菲尔德的胸很大吧 |
| [18:11] | Really big… | 真的很大… |
| [18:13] | Huge. Just coming out the top of her dress. They were choking her. | 巨大，就快从她衣服顶部出来 都快让她窒息了 |
| [18:17] | – I hear that’s how she died. – Yeah. | – 我听说她就是这样死的 – 是的 |
| [18:22] | Have you noticed that women today are…? | 你注意到今天的那个女的没…？ |
| [18:24] | You know, they seem bigger. | 你知道，她的胸看起来更大 |
| [18:27] | – A lot of women are having them done. – Really? | – 很多女性都有隆胸 – 真的吗？ |
| [18:29] | – Yeah. – How do you like that? | – 是的 – 你怎么看？ |
| [18:32] | A lot of people ask me if I’ve had mine done. | 很多人问我是否做过手术 |
| [18:35] | You know people. | 人都是这样的 |
| [18:37] | Gets a little tiring. It’s none of their business. | 有些烦人，这关他们什么事 |
| [18:40] | Oh, the nerve. | 哦，神经病 |
| [18:43] | You know some people have asked me if you’ve done that. | 你知道，还有人问我你是否做过手术 |
| [18:47] | And what do you tell them? | 你是怎么回答的？ |
| [18:49] | Whatever you want me to tell them. | 你想让我怎么回答 |
| [18:52] | Well, I think you’ll find out soon enough. | 嗯，我想你很快就知道了 |
| [19:03] | – Aren’t you gonna get that? – No. | – 你不去开门吗？ – 不 |
| [19:05] | – Well, what if it’s an emergency? – Oh, there’s no emergency. | – 嗯，要是紧急事件怎么办？ – 哦，这里没有紧急事件 |
| [19:08] | Jerry. Come on. It’s an emergency. | 杰瑞，快来，是紧急事件 |
| [19:13] | Excuse me. | 等我一下 |
| [19:16] | All right. | 好的 |
| [19:18] | What is it? You’re interrupting. | 什么？你妨碍到我们了 |
| [19:20] | I’m packing for Puerto Rico. I need to borrow your bathing suit. | 我在为去波多黎各打包 需要借用你的泳裤 |
| [19:25] | This is an emergency? You need a bathing suit? | 这是紧急事件吗？你需要我的泳裤？ |
| [19:27] | Well, I like yours. | 我喜欢你的泳裤 |
| [19:30] | I don’t know, my bathing suit? That’s a little familiar. | 我不知道，我的泳裤？ 这太过亲昵了吧 |
| [19:34] | I don’t want your boys down there. | 我不想你的小弟弟塞在我的泳裤里 |
| [19:43] | What’s the matter with my boys? | 我小弟弟怎么了？ |
| [19:45] | Your boys should stay in their neighborhood. | 你的小弟弟就应该待在隔壁 |
| [19:50] | – All right, come on. – All right. It’s in the top drawer. | – 行了，给我吧 – 好吧，泳裤在最上面的抽屉里 |
| [19:54] | – Hurry up. – Hey. | – 赶快 – 嘿 |
| [19:56] | – Hi, Jer. – Hi, Elaine. | – 你好，杰瑞 – 你好，伊莲 |
| [19:59] | – Oh, hi, Sidra. – Hi. Elaine? | – 哦，你好，西卓拉 – 你好，伊莲？ |
| [20:07] | – What are you doing here? – Looking for Kramer. | – 你来这里干什么？ – 找克莱默 |
| [20:09] | – What’s going on? – She was just… | – 怎么了？ – 她只是… |
| [20:11] | …showing me pictures of places in Puerto Rico. | …给我看波多黎各的照片 |
| [20:13] | – When you two went down there. – Oh, yeah. All right. | – 你们两个一起去的照片 – 哦，是的，好吧 |
| [20:16] | – Well, just… – You know, these… | – 好吧，快… – 你知道，这些… |
| [20:18] | – Yeah, yeah. – All right. | – 是的，是的 – 好吧 |
| [20:25] | So where were we? | 我们到哪了？ |
| [20:26] | – I was just leaving. – Right. You were leaving. | – 我正要离开 – 好吧，你打算走了 |
| [20:29] | I can’t believe you sent a woman into the sauna to do that? | 我不敢相信你让一位女生 进到桑拿做那种事？ |
| [20:32] | That was an accident. | 那是个意外 |
| [20:34] | I think you’re both mentally ill. | 我觉得你们都是神经病 |
| [20:45] | And by the way, they’re real and they’re spectacular. | 顺便说一下，它们是真的且十分壮观 |
| [20:51] | Stop it, George. Get out. Get out! I never wanna see you again. | 住口，乔治，滚出去，滚出去 我再也不想见到你！ |
| [20:55] | – Go back to New York. – Get out. | – 滚回纽约去！ – 滚出去 |
| [21:00] | All right, sir. Now all I need is a death certificate and you’ll be on your way. | 好吧，先生 您只需提供死亡证明就可以走了 |
| [21:06] | Well, you see what happened was… | 嗯，事情是这样的… |
| [21:09] | …the doctor, the very same doctor that was attending my late aunt suffered… | …医生，那个主治我姑妈的医生… |
| [21:16] | …an untimely stroke… | …意外中风 |
| [21:18] | …and lost the use of his right hand so… | 右手瘫痪了，所以… |
| [21:22] | …obviously I was unable to get the death certificate. | …显然，我无法取到死亡证明 |
| [21:26] | However, I do have this. | 不过，我还是搞到这个 |
| [21:30] | What’s this? – A picture of me next to the coffin. | – 这是什么？ – 我在棺材旁的一张照片 |
| [21:34] | – Nice try. – Not even close, huh? | – 不错的尝试 – 还是不行，对吗？ |
| [21:36] | No. | 不行 |
| [21:42] | The cosmetic surgery procedures that are available to people today… | 人们现在已经了解整形手术的程序… |
| [21:45] | Liposuction. Are you familiar with this? | 抽脂术，大家都知道吧？ |
| [21:47] | This is a fat-sucking machine. | 就是拿抽脂机抽脂肪 |
| [21:50] | Now, you know, somewhere, somebody is working on a way… | 现在，你知道，在有些地方 有些人在努力研究… |
| [21:53] | …that this thing could go into a restaurant. | …让这东西进入餐馆 |
| [21:55] | And you could just order it off the menu. | 你可以直接从菜单上点 |
| [21:58] | Give me the cheesecake, crank me up to nine… | 给我起司蛋糕，调到九… |
| [22:00] | …and put a scoop of ice cream on the side. | …还有，加一勺冰激凌在旁边 |