| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | How about the seedless watermelon? What an invention. | 无籽西瓜如何？这发明多了不起 |
| [00:04] | Scientists are working on this. | 科学家正在研究这方面 |
| [00:07] | Other scientists devote their lives to fighting cancer, AIDS. | 别的科学家们致力于研究癌症、艾滋 |
| [00:10] | These guys go, “No, I’m focusing on melon. | 而他们则是： “不，我关心的是西瓜” |
| [00:13] | Oh, sure, thousands of people are dying needlessly… | “噢，没错，成千上万人不必要地死亡…” |
| [00:15] | …but this, that’s gotta stop. | “但这，必须止步于此” |
| [00:20] | You ever try and pick a wet one up off the floor? It’s almost impossible. | “你曾试着从地板上捡起西瓜吗？ 几乎不可能” |
| [00:24] | I’m devoting my life to that.” | “我将毕生致力于此” |
| [00:27] | So I guess if they can get rid of the seeds, the rind is going next. | 所以我猜要是他们能攻克下籽 接下来就是皮了 |
| [00:31] | What do we need that for? They’re not gonna stop… | 我们要皮何用？ 他们不会停止步伐… |
| [00:33] | …until they’re making ready-to-eat fruit cups… …growing right out of the ground. | 直到他们研究出直接从地上 长出来的即食水果为止 “芒果” |
| [00:44] | – So, what’s her name? – Karen. | – 她叫什么？ – 凯伦 |
| [00:46] | – She nice? – Great. | – 她不错吧？ – 很棒 |
| [00:47] | – So you like her? – I think so. | – 那么你喜欢她？ – 我想是的 |
| [00:50] | You don’T know? | 你自己不知道？ |
| [00:52] | I can’T tell anymore. | 我也说不上来 |
| [00:54] | – Well, do you feel anything? – Feel? What’s that? | – 好吧，你对她有感觉吗？ – 感觉？那是什么东西？ |
| [00:59] | Let me ask you this. When she comes over, you cleaning up a lot? | 我这么问吧 她去你家的时候，你会拼命打扫吗？ |
| [01:02] | – Yeah. – Straightening up or cleaning? | – 会 – 临时整理还是彻底打扫? |
| [01:04] | – Cleaning. – You do the tub? | – 彻底打扫 – 浴盆也会清理？ |
| [01:05] | – Yeah. – On your knees, Ajax… | – 是的 – 跪着，Ajax… |
| [01:08] | …hands, scrubbing, the whole deal? – Yeah. | – 用手刷洗，这些全部做？ – 是的 |
| [01:10] | Okay. I think you’re in love. | 好的，我猜你恋爱了 |
| [01:14] | – Tub is love? – Tub is love. | – 刷浴盆就是爱了？ – 刷浴盆就是爱 |
| [01:17] | You got a nice girl and a clean apartment. | 你有个漂亮的女朋友 跟一套整洁的公寓 |
| [01:20] | Yep. | 对 |
| [01:22] | Just one little problem. | 只有一个小问题 |
| [01:25] | – Sexual? – Yeah. | – 性方面？ – 没错 |
| [01:31] | Well… | 额… |
| [01:34] | …I’ve never really felt confident… | 我从来不真正觉得有信心… |
| [01:39] | …in one particular aspect. | 在那个特别的方面 |
| [01:44] | – Below the equator? – Yeah. | – 你指下半身？ – 恩 |
| [01:51] | Nobody does. | 没人有自信 |
| [01:54] | You know, nobody knows what to do. | 你要知道，没人知道该怎么办 |
| [01:57] | You just close your eyes, you hope for the best. | 你只好闭上眼，祈求尽力就好 |
| [02:01] | I really think they’re happy if you just make an effort. | 我想只要你努力了 对方就会觉得快乐 |
| [02:05] | I don’T know. | 我不知道 |
| [02:08] | Last time I got the tap. | 上次做的时候我被敲了一下 |
| [02:12] | You got the tap? | 你被敲了一下？ |
| [02:14] | You’re going along, you think everything’s all right… | 我正做得开心，以为一切顺利时… |
| [02:17] | …and all of a sudden you get that tap. | 忽然之间，她敲了你一下 |
| [02:23] | It’s like, ” All right, that’s enough. You’re through.” | 就像说：“好了，够了，结束了” |
| [02:26] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [02:28] | – The tap is tough. – It’s like the manager coming out… | – 那一敲可真够呛 – 就像跑经理出来… |
| [02:31] | …and asking you for the ball. – Yeah. | – 然后跟你要球 – 是啊 |
| [02:34] | Maybe she wanted to move on to other business. | 也许她想做点别的事 |
| [02:37] | No, no, this wasn’T moving on. | 不，不，不是这样 |
| [02:39] | I got the hook. | 我被解雇了 |
| [02:42] | I wish I could get a lesson in that. | 希望我能籍此吸取教训 |
| [02:44] | It’s a very complicated area. | 这方面是很复杂的 |
| [02:46] | You could go crazy trying to figure that place out. | 想弄明白这些，真得花点力气 |
| [02:49] | It’s a hazy mystery. | 这事儿是雾里看花，迷雾重重啊 |
| [02:52] | Anyway, I think everything else is okay… | 总之，我觉得其他都还好… |
| [02:54] | …unless, of course, she’s faking. | 除非，她是装的… |
| [02:57] | – Who’s faking? – Nothing. | – 谁在装？ – 没什么 |
| [03:00] | – Faking what? – Nobody’s faking. | – 装什么？ – 没人在假装 |
| [03:02] | – Orgasms? – She’s not faking. | – 假装高潮？ – 她没在假装高潮 |
| [03:06] | – How do you know? – I know. I can tell. | – 你怎么知道？ – 我知道，我看得出来 |
| [03:09] | It’s one of my powers. | 那是我一种能力 |
| [03:11] | Why? Did you ever fake? | 怎么？你曾假装过吗？ |
| [03:13] | – Of course. – Really? | – 当然 – 真的？ |
| [03:15] | – You’ve faked? – On occasion. | – 你装过？ – 偶尔 |
| [03:18] | – And the guy never knows? – No. | – 对方都不知道？ – 不知道 |
| [03:20] | How can he not know that? | 他怎么可能不知道？ |
| [03:22] | Because I was good. | 因为我装得很像 |
| [03:25] | I guess after that many beers, he’s probably a little groggy anyway. | 我猜他在喝了那么多啤酒后 早已经醉得东倒西歪了 |
| [03:31] | Well, you didn’T know. | 那会儿你就不知道 |
| [03:37] | What’s that? | 什么？ |
| [03:39] | You didn’T know. | 我们那会儿你就不知道我装了 |
| [03:41] | – Are you saying…? – I think I’ll have a piece of cake. | – 你是说…？ – 我要一块蛋糕 |
| [03:45] | – With me? – Well… | – 跟我？ – 这个… |
| [03:47] | – You faked with me? – Yeah. | – 跟我做的时候你假装高潮了？ – 恩 |
| [03:49] | – You faked with me? – Yes. | – 跟我做的时候你假装高潮了？ – 是的 |
| [03:51] | – No. You faked it? – Yes. I faked it. | – 不，你是假装的？ – 对，我装的 |
| [03:53] | That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act? | 全程都是演戏？ |
| [03:57] | Not bad, huh? | 我演得不坏吧，嗯？ |
| [03:59] | What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming? | 那呼吸，喘息，呻吟，尖叫呢？ |
| [04:02] | Fake, fake, fake, fake. | 装的，装的，装的，装的 |
| [04:06] | I’m stunned. I’m shocked. | 吓到我了，我真吃惊 |
| [04:09] | How many times did you do this? | 你装过几次？ |
| [04:13] | – All the time. – All the time? | – 一直都是 – 一直？ |
| [04:15] | I think I’ll have a chocolate malted here. | 我要一份麦香巧克力 |
| [04:18] | But I’m so good. | 但是我那方面很厉害的啊 |
| [04:20] | I’m sure you are. | 我相信你很厉害 |
| [04:22] | Jerry, listen, it wasn’T you. I just didn’T have them back then. | 杰瑞，听着，不是你的问题 只是我那时候没感觉而已 |
| [04:26] | She faked. | 她是装的 |
| [04:31] | – Maybe they’ve all been faking. – I’m sure they’re not. | – 也许跟我上床的女孩都是装的 – 我确定她们不是 |
| [04:35] | Maybe Karen is faking. | 也许凯伦是装的 |
| [04:40] | – She was probably joking. – No, no. It was no joke. | – 可能她在开玩笑 – 不，不，没在开玩笑 |
| [04:44] | – She didn’T have any? – No, none. | – 她完全没有感觉？ – 对，完全没感觉 |
| [04:46] | – She faked them all? – Faked them all. | – 她全是装的？ – 全是装的 |
| [04:52] | Well, so she faked them. So what? | 就算她一直都是装的，又怎么样？ |
| [04:54] | The woman had an orgasm under false pretenses. | 女人假装高潮… |
| [04:57] | That’s sexual perjury. | 那是性诈骗 |
| [05:00] | You know, I heard her screaming from my apartment. | 你知道 我在我公寓听到过她尖叫 |
| [05:04] | She woke me up a few times. | 她吵醒了我几次 |
| [05:06] | How did she do it? She’s like Meryl Streep, this woman. | 她是怎么做到的？ 她简直是梅丽尔・斯特里普 （美国影史上最天才的女演员） |
| [05:09] | And I know how to work the equipment. | 我知道该怎么做 |
| [05:11] | I’m not unskilled, I’m in the union. | 我又不是没技术，我是有能力的 |
| [05:12] | I mean, if she’d told me, maybe I could have done something. | 我是说，如果她告诉我 也许我就能做点什么了 |
| [05:15] | Yeah, I could’ve helped you out. | 没错，我肯定能帮到你 |
| [05:21] | – What could you have done? – I could’ve given you some pointers. | – 你能帮我什么？ – 我能告诉你一些兴奋点 |
| [05:24] | I know how to press those buttons, buddy. | 我知道怎么让女人兴奋，老兄 |
| [05:31] | Well, I’m feeling very inadequate about the whole thing. Don’T: | 这事儿让我觉得很不爽 |
| [05:35] | I’m supposed to do something with her later. I don’T even wanna see her. | 本来我待会儿还要跟她出去 现在我都不想见她了 |
| [05:41] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [05:43] | Oh, hello, Elaine. | 噢，你好，伊莲 |
| [05:45] | So we having dinner tonight? | 我们说好今晚一起吃饭的？ |
| [05:46] | I don’T know. I’m not really in the mood. | 我不知道 我心情不好 |
| [05:49] | Why? What’s wrong? | 为什么？怎么啦？ |
| [05:50] | You’re not still thinking about earlier, are you? | 你不会还在想着之前跟你说的事吧？ |
| [05:53] | What, the grilled cheese? No, they always burn the toast. | 什么，烤奶酪的事吗？ 不，他们每次都会把面包烤焦 |
| [05:57] | No, the other thing. | 不，我说的是别的事 |
| [05:59] | Oh, that. Well… | 噢，那个，额… |
| [06:02] | Oh, come on, Jerry. You’re making too much of a big deal about it. | 得了，杰瑞 这事儿你想太多了 |
| [06:05] | – I guess. So you wanna meet at 7:30? – Okay. | – 也许吧，那么我们7点30见？ – 好 |
| [06:08] | – All right. Bye. – All right, see you later. Bye. | – 好的，再见 – 好的，到时候见，再见 |
| [06:12] | Renee, can you come here a second? | 蕾妮，你过来一下好吗？ |
| [06:14] | Let me ask you something. | 我问你点事 |
| [06:16] | Have you ever, you know… | 你曾经…呃… |
| [06:21] | …faked it? – Yeah, sometimes. | – 假装过吗？ – 有啊，有时候会 |
| [06:23] | – Really, like when? – If we went to a Broadway show… | – 真的，什么时候？ – 我们去百老汇看演出… |
| [06:26] | …if we had really good seats. – Yeah, well… | – 当然是有好座位的时候 – 恩，是啊… |
| [06:35] | You know, if it’s enough already, and I just wanna get some sleep. | 你知道，如果感觉差不多了 我只想能好好睡一觉 |
| [06:42] | – I really don’T feel like seeing her. – You know, I faked it. | – 我真不想见她 – 你知道，我也装过 |
| [06:53] | – What? – Yeah. | – 什么？ – 真的 |
| [06:55] | – You faked it? – Yeah. | – 你也装过？ – 是的 |
| [06:56] | – Why would you do that? – Well, you know… | – 为什么那么做？ – 额，你知道的… |
| [06:59] | …if it’s enough already, and I just wanna get some sleep. | 反正感觉差不多了 我只想快点睡觉 |
| [07:06] | Yeah, but why would you…? | 恩，但是你为什么…？ |
| [07:14] | – Bad peach? – It’s terrible! | – 桃子烂了？ – 真恶心！ |
| [07:17] | – Did you get that at Joe’s? – Of course I got it at Joe’s. | – 你在乔那边买的？ – 当然是在他那儿买的 |
| [07:20] | Surprising. His fruit’s usually the best. | 奇怪了 他的水果一直是最好的 |
| [07:22] | You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna return this. | 你知道我要去干嘛吗？ 我要去退货 |
| [07:25] | – You’re returning used fruit? – Jerry, this peach is subpar. | – 你要去退吃过的水果？ – 杰瑞，这桃子买得不值 |
| [07:33] | – So, what do you want me to do? – I want restitution. | – 你要我怎么办？ – 我要退货 |
| [07:36] | Restitution? You want restitution? | 退货？你要退货？ |
| [07:39] | – Why should I give you restitution? – It’s no good. | – 我为什么要让你退货？ – 因为桃子是坏的 |
| [07:41] | – Once I put it out, it ends for me. – It’s still your fruit. | – 一旦我卖出去，就跟我没关系了 – 它还是你卖的水果 |
| [07:44] | – You gotta stand behind your fruit. – I stand behind my fruit. | – 你要为你的水果负责 – 我为我的水果负责 |
| [07:47] | – So? – Hey, you got a bad peach… | – 所以呢？ – 喂，你买了个坏桃子… |
| [07:49] | …that’s an act of God. He makes the peaches. I sell the peaches. | 那是上帝的错， 他造桃子，我卖桃子 |
| [07:53] | You got a problem, you talk to him. | 你有问题，跟他去谈 |
| [07:54] | You know, this whole place is going… downhill. | 你知道，这块地方要…走下坡路了 |
| [07:57] | I could’ve come in here last week with a bad plum, but I let it go. | 我本来上礼拜就要来这的， 一个李子坏掉了，但是我忍了 |
| [08:00] | Take your business elsewhere. I don’T want your business. | 去别的地方买吧 我不做你生意了 |
| [08:03] | – Now you don’T want my business? – I don’T. | – 现在你不做我生意了？ – 我不做了 |
| [08:05] | And at this moment, you’re banned from this store. You’re banned! | 从现在开始，禁止你在这里购物 你别想在这买水果了！ |
| [08:09] | But what am I gonna do for fruit? | 那我要到哪里买水果？ |
| [08:34] | You seem like you really enjoyed your risotto. | 看上去你很享受你的意大利汤饭 |
| [08:39] | You have a very contented air over there. | 你看上去很满足 |
| [08:42] | You look very contented, very satisfied. | 你看上去很满足，很满意 |
| [08:46] | – Are you satisfied? – I’m very satisfied. | – 你满意吗？ – 很满意 |
| [08:49] | I’m sure if you weren’T satisfied, you would say something, wouldn’T you? | 我确信要是你不满意， 你就会说出来的，是不是？ |
| [08:53] | – I probably would. – Sure. | – 我也许会的 – 没错 |
| [08:56] | But then again, I’m an enigma. | 但是重申，我是不可捉摸的 |
| [09:01] | Hey, listen, instead of the movie… | 嘿，听着，我们别去看电影了… |
| [09:05] | …maybe we’ll go back and… | 不如我们回去… |
| [09:08] | …you know… | 你知道的… |
| [09:14] | Maybe. | 也许吧 |
| [09:20] | So… | 那就… |
| [09:22] | …you feel okay about that whole thing… …what we do in there. | 你对我们那个的事儿还满意吧 |
| [09:27] | You’re generally okay with everything in there? | 大致还满意吗？ |
| [09:30] | Generally. | 还好 |
| [09:33] | Do you feel the way you feel after the risotto? | 你有吃完意大利汤饭后的那种满足感吗？ |
| [09:37] | Well, no. I feel full after the risotto. | 没有，吃完饭我觉得很饱 |
| [09:42] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [09:47] | Oh, God. | 噢，上帝 |
| [10:01] | Satisfied? | 满意了？ |
| [10:03] | Hey, you know what? You wanna go see that new Meryl Streep movie? | 嘿，你想看梅丽尔・斯特里普的新电影吗？ |
| [10:09] | – Meryl Streep? – You don’T like her? | – 梅丽尔・斯特里普？ – 你不喜欢她？ |
| [10:12] | She’s okay. | 她还行吧 |
| [10:14] | God, I love her, Jerry. She’s so authentic. | 天，我超级喜欢她，杰瑞 她演得那么逼真 |
| [10:16] | You believe everything is actually happening to her. No acting there. | 你会以为她身上发生的一切都是真的 没有丝毫演戏的痕迹 |
| [10:20] | – Yeah. You don’T want coffee, do you? – I really admire actors, you know. | – 恩，你不要咖啡吧？ – 我真的很佩服那些演员 |
| [10:24] | It’s just such an incredible skill to pull that off. | 那样的演技真是令人难以置信 |
| [10:27] | Yeah, yeah. Can we get off of this? | 嗯嗯，我们可以不谈这个吗？ |
| [10:30] | – What’s the matter? – Nothing. | – 怎么啦？ – 没事 |
| [10:33] | You’re not still thinking about that, are you? | 你还在想那事儿，是不是？ |
| [10:36] | – No, no. – Oh, good. | – 不，没有 – 恩，很好 |
| [10:40] | Give me another shot. | 再给我一次机会 |
| [10:48] | – What? – Another shot. I want another shot. | – 什么？ – 再一次，我想再来一次 |
| [10:53] | – You mean? – Yes. | – 你是说…？ – 没错 |
| [10:54] | – Oh, no. I don’T think so. – Come on. | – 不，还是不要了 – 求你了 |
| [10:58] | One shot. I could do it. I know I could do it. | 一次就好，我能做到 我知道我能做到 |
| [11:02] | Jerry, we’re friends. We can’T do that. It would ruin our friendship. | 杰瑞，我们是朋友，不可以那样 会毁了我们的友情 |
| [11:06] | Oh, friendship. Friendship, schmiendship. | 噢，友情，友情 让友情见鬼去吧！ |
| [11:09] | – No, that’s important to me. – We won’T ruin the friendship. | – 不行，那对我很重要 – 这不会毁了我们的友情 |
| [11:13] | – Yes, we will. – Elaine. | – 会的 – 伊莲 |
| [11:15] | No, Jerry, it is out of the question. | 不，杰瑞，这不可能 |
| [11:17] | You know what sex does to a friendship. It kills it. | 你知道性对友情有多大伤害 发生了性关系就再也做不了朋友了 |
| [11:20] | Half-hour. Give me a half-hour. | 半小时，给我半小时就好 |
| [11:22] | – No. – Okay, 15 minutes. | – 不行 – 好吧，15分钟 |
| [11:24] | I guarantee you, 15 minutes, I can make it happen. | 我保证，15分钟就好 我能让你飘飘欲仙 |
| [11:27] | No. | 不行 |
| [11:29] | You’re worried I’ll be able to do it, aren’T you? | 你担心我真的做得到，是不是？ |
| [11:33] | No, it doesn’T matter. Jerry, I don’T care. | 不，跟那没关系 杰瑞，我不在乎 |
| [11:36] | No, that’s it. That’s it. You like having this over me. | 不，就是这样，就是这样 你喜欢抓住我这个小辫子 |
| [11:39] | – You don’T want me to do it. – That is so ridiculous. | – 你根本不想给我机会翻身 – 这太荒唐了 |
| [11:42] | – Come on, Elaine! – No. | – 求你了，伊莲！ – 不行 |
| [11:44] | – Elaine. – No! | – 伊莲 – 不行！ |
| [12:11] | – It’s Jerry’s fault. – Jerry? | – 都是杰瑞的错 – 杰瑞？ |
| [12:13] | Jerry and Elaine. They made me nuts. | 杰瑞和伊莲 他们把我弄疯了 |
| [12:16] | Oh, I don’T care, George. Really, it’s all right. | 我不在乎，乔治 真的，没关系 |
| [12:21] | So you feel okay? | 你觉得还行？ |
| [12:23] | Well, it’s not like after the risotto. | 虽然比不上吃过意大利汤饭后的感觉 |
| [12:31] | Well, good night. | 好吧，晚安 |
| [12:34] | I still don’T understand why we had to walk out on that movie. | 我还是不明白我们 干嘛不去看那部电影 |
| [12:37] | Oh, that Meryl Streep, she’s such a phony baloney. | 哦，那个梅丽尔・斯特里普 她就是个虚伪的大骗子 |
| [12:41] | Good night. Thanks for a really fabulous evening. | 晚安 真是多谢你，今晚过得“开心”极了 |
| [12:44] | – Oh, what, you’re upset? – Yes, I’m upset. Can’T you tell? | – 怎么，你不高兴了？ – 对，我不高兴，你看不出来吗？ |
| [12:48] | No, I can’T. Maybe you’re faking. | 我怎么知道，也许你装的呢 |
| [12:51] | I’m really, really sorry I told you that. | 把那件事告诉你 我真的非常，非常抱歉 |
| [12:54] | – I’m sorry too. – Well, stop being such a baby. | – 我也很抱歉 – 那就别再表现得这么幼稚了 |
| [12:57] | – You’re a baby! | – You’re a baby! – 你才幼稚！ – 你才幼稚！ |
| [13:06] | It’s all your fault. | 都是你的错 |
| [13:08] | You and Elaine, all that orgasm talk. | 都是你跟伊莲 说那些关于性高潮的鬼话 |
| [13:11] | She did have an orgasm, she didn’T. Orgasm this, orgasm that. | 一会儿说她达到高潮了，一会儿又说她没有 高潮这个，高潮那个的 |
| [13:14] | I got so focused on it. | 我只顾想着这些了 |
| [13:16] | I started to panic and… I lost it. | 我开始害怕，然后…就不行了 |
| [13:19] | I tried everything. I was talking to him. | 我什么都试过了 我还跟自己说： |
| [13:22] | “Please wake up. Do something.” | “醒一醒，做点什么” |
| [13:24] | They’re mysterious little fellows, aren’T they? | 他们真是迷一样的小东西，是不是？ |
| [13:27] | I hate him. | 我恨死自己了 |
| [13:29] | You know, it happens to everybody. Happened to Houdini. | 你要知道，每个人都会这样的 胡迪尼也会的 （胡迪尼，享誉世界的脱逃艺术家） |
| [13:33] | And he could get out of a trunk with his hands in chains. | 他手被绑住也能从卡车里逃出来 |
| [13:36] | But he had a problem with that. | 但他也会有那方面的问题 |
| [13:38] | – The miracle is that it ever happens. – It’s like a magic trick. | – 奇迹时有发生 – 就像魔术师的技俩 |
| [13:42] | Sometimes I think it would be easier to bend a spoon mentally… …than to make that transformation. | 有时候我会想用意念让调羹变弯 会比做那档子事容易 |
| [13:49] | – Hey. | – Hey. – 嗨 – 嗨 |
| [13:51] | Listen… | 听着… |
| [13:53] | …if I give you money, will you go out and get me some fruit? | 要是我给你钱， 你愿意出去帮我买水果吗？ |
| [14:01] | – Why can’T you get it? – Well, I got banned from the store. | – 你为什么不自己买？ – 我被禁止进入那家店 |
| [14:04] | I can’T go back in there now. | 我现在进不去了 |
| [14:06] | – What happened? – We had a fight over the peach… | – 怎么了？ – 我们因为桃子吵了一架 |
| [14:10] | …and Joe doesn’T want my business. | 然后乔不想再做我的生意了 |
| [14:11] | – Hey, is that a joke about Houdini? – No. | – 嘿，你刚才说胡迪尼是开他玩笑的吗？ – 不是 |
| [14:15] | – I told you not to say anything. – What am I gonna do for fruit? | – 我叫你别去说什么的 – 我以后要去哪里买水果吃？ |
| [14:19] | – You’ll have to go to the supermarket. – The supermarket? | – 你可以去超市 – 超市？ |
| [14:22] | Lmpossible. They don’T have a decent piece of fruit at the supermarket. | 不可能 超市里的水果没一样是好的 |
| [14:25] | The apples are mealy. The oranges are dry. | 苹果有斑点 橘子是干的 |
| [14:27] | I don’T know what’s going on with the papayas. | 都不知道那些番木瓜会有什么问题 |
| [14:32] | You gotta go to Joe’s. You gotta get me some fruit. | 你得去乔纳尔 你得帮我买水果去 |
| [14:34] | So, what, am I gonna buy all your fruit now? | 怎么，以后我就得一直帮你跑腿买水果了？ |
| [14:37] | Well, if Houdini couldn’T do it, what chance do I have? | 好吧，如果胡迪尼都做不到 我还有什么机会呢？ |
| [14:47] | Hello? Oh, hi, Patty. Thanks for calling me back. | 喂？嗨，帕蒂 谢谢你回我电话 |
| [14:50] | I wanted to ask a question. When we were going out… | 我想问你个问题 我们在一起的时候… |
| [14:53] | …did you have orgasms? | 你达到过性高潮吗？ |
| [14:55] | Okay. Thanks. No, that’s it. | 好的，谢谢 不，这样就可以了 |
| [14:58] | Yeah. Okay, bye. Patty Lawrence had them. | 恩，好的，再见 帕蒂・劳伦斯有过 |
| [15:01] | – I’ll make you a fruit list, all right? – Yeah. | – 我去列张水果清单给你，好吗？ – 好 |
| [15:05] | Hello, Elaine? Patty Lawrence had orgasms. | 喂，伊莲？ 帕蒂・劳伦斯有达到高潮 |
| [15:07] | What do you think about that? | 这事儿你怎么看？ |
| [15:09] | And I got calls in to six other women. I bet they confirm an orgasm too. | 我还要打电话给其他六个女人 我打赌她们肯定有达到过高潮 |
| [15:12] | So, what do you have to say now, Elaine? | 现在你怎么说，伊莲？ |
| [15:15] | Hello? | 喂？ |
| [15:21] | – I feel like I’m doing something wrong. – All right, now here’s the list. | – 我总觉得这样做不好 – 好了，这是清单 |
| [15:24] | All this? It’s too much. | 全部都要吗？太多了 |
| [15:26] | – What do you need five mangoes for? – I like mangoes. | – 你要五个芒果干嘛？ – 我喜欢芒果 |
| [15:29] | Avocado? I don’T know how to pick out an avocado. | 鳄梨？ 我不知道怎么选鳄梨 |
| [15:31] | – Well, they gotta be soft. – How soft? | – 恩，要软的 – 多软？ |
| [15:33] | But not too soft. | 也不要太软 |
| [15:35] | See, better too hard than too soft. | 听着 宁可硬一点也不要太软 |
| [15:38] | I’m not going through this every week. I’ll you that right now. | 我先声明 我不会每个礼拜都帮你做这事 |
| [15:41] | What are these, plums? What is that? | 这些是什么，李子？ 这是什么？ |
| [15:43] | Yeah. Now, get the ones that are red on the inside. | 要那些里面是红的 |
| [15:46] | How do I know what they look like inside? | 我怎么知道它们里面长什么样子？ |
| [15:48] | What do they look like on the outside? | 它们外面看上去是什么样子的？ |
| [15:50] | – Oh, and get some plantains. – Plantains? | – 噢，再买些车前草 – 车前草？ |
| [15:53] | – Yes. – What’s a plantain? | – 对 – 车前草是什么东西？ |
| [15:54] | It’s in the banana family. It’s a delicacy. | 是香蕉的一种 真是美味 |
| [15:56] | You’re not getting any plantains. | 我不会给你买车前草的 |
| [16:06] | – Hey, Joe. – How’s it going? | – 嗨，乔 – 最近好吗？ |
| [16:09] | Good. Just getting some fruit for myself. | 不错，就是来给我自己买些水果 |
| [16:14] | Gotta have fruit in the house. | 家里最好常备些水果 |
| [16:17] | I like it as a snack. Wholesome… | 我喜欢把它当零食，有益健康… |
| [16:19] | …natural, chock-full of vitamins. | 自然，富含维他命 |
| [16:23] | All right, let’s see… | 好的，我看看… |
| [16:25] | Mangoes. | 芒果 |
| [16:28] | Four plums with red on the inside. | 里面红的李子四个 |
| [16:35] | An avocado. | 一个鳄梨 |
| [16:38] | Just right. | 没错 |
| [16:41] | And three plantains ought to do it. | 还有三个车前草 |
| [16:46] | – All right, just hold it right there. – What? | – 好了，别动 – 怎么了？ |
| [16:49] | This fruit isn’T for you. | 这不是你买给自己的 |
| [16:53] | – What are you talking about? – You think I don’T know, huh? | – 你说什么呢？ – 你以为我不知道吗，嗯？ |
| [16:56] | Mangoes, plantains, plums with the red on the inside? That’s Kramer. | 芒果，车前草，里面红的李子？ 那是克莱默要的水果 |
| [17:01] | – I can’T buy mangoes and plantains? – All right, get out. | – 我不能买芒果和车前草？ – 好了，出去 |
| [17:05] | – You’re making a big mistake, Joe. – I don’T want your business either. | – 你这样做是不对的，乔 – 你的生意我也不做了 |
| [17:09] | – Are you banning me from the store? – That’s exactly what I’m saying. | – 你是说禁止我来你的店？ – 没错 |
| [17:13] | – I’m banned? – You’re banned. | – 我被禁止进入了？ – 你被禁止进来了 |
| [17:20] | – All right, where do you want it? – Put it over there. | – 好了，你们要我放哪？ – 放在那里 |
| [17:23] | Yes. | 好的 |
| [17:25] | – This stuff is heavy. – Oh, great. | – 这些东西真重 – 噢，太好了 |
| [17:27] | What do you got? Look at these. These mangoes are beautiful. | 你买了什么？看看 这些芒果真不错 |
| [17:31] | Oh, those are beautiful. You did good. | 噢，真新鲜 干得好 |
| [17:33] | – Yeah, yeah. – Yeah. | – 恩，恩 – 是的 |
| [17:36] | – All right, I gotta get going. – What are you doing? | – 好了，我该走了 – 你要去干嘛？ |
| [17:39] | I got a date with Karen. | 我要跟凯伦约会 |
| [17:41] | I don’T know what I’m gonna do. | 我不知道该怎么办 |
| [17:43] | There’s nothing happening down there. | 下面那儿没反应 |
| [17:46] | You’re thinking about too much, putting too much emphasis on it. | 你想太多了 太在意它了 |
| [17:49] | I knew this was gonna happen someday. It was inevitable. | 我知道有一天会发生的 这是不可避免的 |
| [17:52] | I’ve known it ever since I was a little kid. I’ve been waiting for it. | 我从很小的时候就知道了 我一直在等 |
| [17:57] | This mango is delicious. | 这芒果真好吃 |
| [17:58] | That reminds me. I’m not getting you guys any more fruit. | 提醒我了 我不会再帮你们买水果了 |
| [18:01] | That guy was eyeballing me the whole time. Gave me the creeps. | 那家伙的眼球一直黏在我身上 让我胆战心惊的 |
| [18:05] | All right, you owe me 28.60. | 好了，你们欠我28块6毛 |
| [18:07] | Gee, sorry, I don’T have any cash. | 哦，不好意思，我身上没现金 |
| [18:10] | I only got hundreds. | 我只有百元大钞 |
| [18:14] | You see, l… I knew it. | 看吧，我…我就知道 |
| [18:16] | Come on, we’re gonna pay you. Have some mango. | 得了，我们会付给你的 吃些芒果吧 |
| [18:18] | – I don’T want any mango. – Come on, take some. It’s good. | – 我不要吃芒果 – 来吧，吃一些，很好吃的 |
| [18:22] | Yeah. | 恩 |
| [18:24] | It’s very good. | 挺好吃的 |
| [18:26] | Juicy. Ripe. | 汁多，肉熟 |
| [18:29] | Boy, this Joe’s got some terrific fruit. | 天，乔的水果还真不错 |
| [18:33] | What? | 怎么了？ |
| [18:35] | I feel like I got a B12 shot. | 我像是打了一针维生素B12 |
| [18:38] | – This is like a taste explosion. – I told you. | – 像味觉大爆炸 – 我就说吧 |
| [18:42] | What is it? | 又怎么了？ |
| [18:45] | I think it moved. | 我想它动了 |
| [18:48] | Oh, my God. I think it moved. Here, give me the big piece. | 噢，上帝，它动了 来，给我块最大的 |
| [18:52] | – I’ll see you later. – Hey, George. | – 回头见 – 嗨，乔治 |
| [18:54] | I’m back, baby! I’m back! | 我的感觉回来啦，宝贝！ 回来啦！ |
| [18:58] | – Do you want some mango? – No, thanks. | – 你要芒果吗？ – 不要，谢了 |
| [19:03] | Well, well. If it isn’T the first lady of the American theater. | 哦，哦 这不是美国剧院的第一夫人嘛 |
| [19:09] | What brings you here? | 什么风把你吹来了？ |
| [19:11] | Just gonna return some of your things that were in my house. | 只是来还些你落在我房子里的东西 |
| [19:15] | And I’ve got some things of yours here. | 我这儿也有些你的东西 |
| [19:17] | – I know. – Well, I’ll get them. | – 我知道 – 好的，我去拿给你 |
| [19:19] | – I’m waiting. – All right then. | – 我等着 – 马上就好 |
| [19:22] | – You got my fins? – Yeah, I got your fins. | – 我的鳍板在你那儿？ – 对，在我这儿 |
| [19:24] | – Do you have my poker chips? – I got your poker chips. | – 我的扑克在你那儿？ – 在我这儿 |
| [19:27] | – You got my goggles? – They’re next to the fins. | – 我的护目镜呢？ – 在鳍板边上 |
| [19:29] | – You got my cards? – They’re next to the poker chips. | – 我的卡片在里面吗？ – 在扑克牌边上 |
| [19:36] | All right. | 好的 |
| [19:39] | – Guess that just about does it. – I guess. | – 就这样了 – 我想是的 |
| [19:44] | – Okay, well, see you around. – Yeah, see you. | – 好的，以后再见 – 恩，回头见 |
| [19:52] | All right, let’s go. I’ll give you half an hour. | 好了，来吧 我给你半个小时 |
| [19:58] | – What? – Come on. | – 什么？ – 来吧 |
| [20:00] | – Are you serious? – Look, Jerry… | – 你说真的？ – 听着，杰瑞… |
| [20:02] | …we have to have sex to save the friendship. | 我们需要用性来挽救友情 |
| [20:06] | Sex to save the friendship. | 用性来挽救友情 |
| [20:12] | Well, if we have to, we have to. | 好吧，如果只能这样，那就这样吧 |
| [20:21] | Oh, George. | 噢，乔治 |
| [20:26] | Please, it’s not necessary. | 行了，那不必要 |
| [20:29] | What’s not necessary? | 什么不必要？ |
| [20:31] | The little extra moan you threw in there. | 你最后那声呻吟 |
| [20:34] | Laying it on a bit thick, don’T you think? | 不觉得喊得有点过分了？ |
| [20:37] | – What are you talking about? – What am I talking about? Come on. | – 你在说什么？ – 我在说什么？得了 |
| [20:41] | You don’T think I bought all that. | 你不会认为我都信以为真了吧 |
| [20:43] | – Bought what? – No, you’re very good. | – 什么信以为真？ – 不，你做得很好 |
| [20:47] | Very good with the moanings and the gyrations. | 呻吟，回旋，都很好 |
| [20:49] | You really had me going there for a minute. | 有一刻我真以为你来真的了 |
| [20:52] | You think I was faking? | 你以为我是在装？ |
| [20:55] | Come on. With the, “Oh, George. Oh, George!” | 得了吧，就你那样的 “噢，乔治，噢，乔治！” |
| [20:59] | Come on. | 得了吧 |
| [21:01] | Not that I don’T appreciate the effort that was put into the performance. | 我还是要谢谢你所作的努力 |
| [21:07] | I’d like you to leave. | 请你离开 |
| [21:09] | – What? – I said, I would like you to leave. | – 什么？ – 我说，请你离开 |
| [21:12] | – Just get your clothes on and get out. – But why? | – 拿了你的衣服走人 – 但是为什么？ |
| [21:16] | Because I said so! | 因为我这么说了！ |
| [21:19] | – I can’T find my glasses. – Well, hurry up. | – 我找不到我的眼镜了 – 快，赶紧的！ |
| [21:21] | – Let me look for my glasses. – Get out. | – 让我找一下眼镜 – 快走 |
| [21:25] | Get out. | 滚 |
| [21:28] | Get out. | 滚 |
| [21:43] | It’s all George’s fault. | 都是乔治的错 |
| [21:45] | All that talk about impotence, it got to me. | 一直在说什么性无能 现在换我了 |
| [21:48] | And that orgasm stuff. Orgasm this and orgasm that. | 还有高潮什么的 高潮这个，高潮那个 |
| [21:50] | It’s a lot of pressure. | 压力太大了 |
| [21:52] | I’m a little hungry. | 我有点饿了 |
| [21:54] | You wouldn’T happen to have any of that mango left? | 你的芒果还有剩吗？ |
| [22:07] | The female orgasm, it’s kind of like the Batcave. | 女性的高潮，就像蝙蝠洞 |
| [22:10] | Very few people know where it is. | 很少有人知道到底在哪儿 |
| [22:12] | And if you’re lucky enough to see it… | 即便你够幸运能找到… |
| [22:13] | …you probably don’T know how you got there… | 你也不会知道是怎么到的 |
| [22:16] | …and you can’T find your way back after you leave. | 下一次依然找不回原来的路 |
| [22:20] | There are two types of female orgasm, the real and the fake. | 女性高潮有两种 真实的和假装的 |
| [22:25] | And I’ll tell you right now, as a man, we don’T know. | 我现在可以告诉你 作为男人，我们区分不出来 |
| [22:29] | We do not know. Because to men, sex is like a car accident… | 我们完全区分不出来 因为对男人来说，性就像一次车祸 |
| [22:32] | …and determining the female orgasm is like being asked: | 而判定女性高潮就像被问到… |
| [22:35] | “What did you see after the car went out of control?” | “车子失控以后你看到了什么？” |
| [22:38] | “I heard a lot of screeching sounds. | “我听到无数尖叫” |
| [22:41] | I remember I was facing the wrong way at one point. | “我记得某一刻我走错了路” |
| [22:44] | And in the end, my body was thrown clear.” | “最后我的身体很明显被抛出去了” |